What troubles you Shinji?
I sighed, how to answer that question? He wouldn't understand my feelings towards the destruction, he revelled in it. And then there was Misato, she had to have seen my note by now.
"I'll be going for a while. Don't try to follow me. I need some time to…think."
Not enough, not even close, but it was all I could think to say. It wasn't like I knew how I felt about Misato; she'd been nice, in an absent sort of way, but that file…those words…
This place weeps.
"Wah?"
This city Shinji, can you not hear it? It weeps at the burden it bears.
This…this was new, he sounded odd, troubled somehow…
What? You think me some unfeeling monster Shinji? It is true I enjoy the rush of destruction but this, this city…it is cursed.
I was beginning to think that he had a point, for all the mixed scents of the city the peppermint tang of supernatural events always bled through. Yet aside from the Angels and Rei I had yet to see a single non-human.
The rats always leave the sinking ship Shinji; they know there is nothing for them here.
Is there anything for US here? That's the question isn't it?
'Well what do you think we should do then?' I asked wearily. 'We either stay in this cursed city and take fathers orders or we leave and-'
Condemn all these people to death, at least according to Misato…Well Shinji this is a decision you will have to make. But hear this; I hate that bastard and everything he stands for, but I WILL NOT be leaving my Angel without a fight.
He'd found something to fight for, I spend most of my life trying to pull it together and my sociopathic split personality manages it first by dint of insanity.
I hate my life.
Love, or lust masked by the pretence of good intentions, I guess that there are worse things to fight for.
'We can't keep running forever can we?'
"Shinji!"
With a yelp I came to my senses to find myself at the maglev station; Misato stood before me, judging from her salty scent tears had been forthcoming… had the thought of me leaving affected her that much? Could someone actually give a damn about whether I stayed or left?
"Misato I"
Her head jerked up at my words; expression running the gamut of sorrow to rage.
WHACK!
I fell back slightly, face stinging from the blow.
"You idiot!"
"wha-" This wasn't quite the reception I had expected…
"What do you think you were doing?"
"I-" But I was cut off again as she pulled me into an embrace so tight I couldn't breath. Her hair cascading down over my face in a purple curtain, obscuring the world.
"IF you ever pull something like this again…"
I didn't reply. What could be said?
Nothing that needed to be.
(Important message!)
We would like to apologise for the wimpy melodrama contained within this last chapter, the wimp was, at this point totally spineless and lacking in both refinement and the necessary pep-talk and literary advice from The great Asuka Langely Soryuu required to transform this pathetic excuse for a literary work (and a life) from its currant level of ineptitude to something worth reading.
End message
(MY versions better!)
It was about a week after my little excursion, life had been… pleasant. Shocking I know.
It still strikes me as odd that I pretty much lived as a maid; cooking and cleaning for Misato yet, in-between bouts of horrifying combat with giant monsters blending into an experience that was…nice.
Tonight's entertainment was provided by Misato inviting Dr Akagi over for dinner, Pen-Pen having wisely retreated to his fridge.
At first I was sceptical, my first impression of the doctor hadn't been good after all. But Ritsuko turned out to be surprisingly pleasant; a counterpoint of reason to Misato's erratic and juvenile behaviour, although even the horror of Misato's permanent beer haze and 'curry' couldn't fully erase her aroma of plastic and dried blood.
So it was that we were all gathered around Misato's little table choking down instant noodles and having something that was dangerously close to a good time.
"So Shinji, how is my old roomie treating you?" Asked Ritusko warmly.
Now that I had the opportunity to listen I found Ritsuko's voice far more pleasant, the rasping friction caused by years of smoking not quite hiding what must have once been a soothing tone.
"You used to live together?" This was new; I hadn't seen Ritsuko as being invincible.
"YUP! College roomies right Ritsu?" crowed Misato, evidently reaching the enthusiastic drunk stage.
"Ah memory…" Ritsuko sighed in what I assumed was a dreamy way for her. "You'd never guess it but Misato here used to be quite the party animal Shinji."
"Really?" I replied in awed horror.
"Hey Shinji, catch"
Even drunk Misato was a nasty shot, her projectile bouncing gently off my head.
"What's this?" I asked, looking down at the small plastic rectangle in my hand.
"You're NERV ID card. Oh, while I remember." Misato paused, fishing around in a pocket until she extracted another card, almost identical to my own, save for the picture.
"Deliver this to Rei's would ya Shinji?"
Rei…the blue haired girl who had been plaguing my thoughts, she had appeared to me as a shade, her scent was only vaguely human. Who was she really? Fellow Eva pilot certainly…
She is an angel wrapped in sin and spilt blood, a fallen purity sullied by the sins of man.
'Yes, thank you for your input…' I'd have to keep an eye on him in the future; his little Rei fixation was getting worrying…
"Shinji! Earth to Shinji!"
"Huh?"
The grin Misato was giving me would quite possibly be the most terrifying sight I had ever seen, had not Ritsuko been wearing a horrifyingly similar one.
"Got the hots for Rei, eh? Well, it's always the quiet ones; just keep the noise down after one, ok? Some of us have to work."
"Guh?"
"Don't worry Shinji, my office is free…"
"But I… Gah…never mind." I trailed off, realising that my 'love' for Rei would be the talk of NERV for the next month no matter what I said.
BREAKER:
"Maybe Misato is smarter then I thought" I mused as I strode up the stairs of the apartment complex purported to belong to my Angel. Shinji had gone off to think our situation over while I went to see Rei. Her scent was here, gently bathing the steps in a wondrous halo, a patina of fragrance that made each step a loving caress. When I had arrived I had railed at the thought of my Rei being kept in such a hovel, yet the more I thought on it the more this currant arrangement appealed to me; the idea of my bloodstained Angel ruling over this ruined city brought little shivers to my soul.
I wonder if Father felt the same way?
The front door opened with a creak, but jammed after a few inches, forcing me to give it a light kick, dislodging a cascade of yellowing letters from their place behind the door.
From the looks of things my princess hadn't been reading her mail, of course such things would have been beneath her notice, the world of us mere mortals must seem a trifling affair to her.
The apartment was sparse, covered with dirty laundry and bloodied bandages, the smell was lovely; yellowing paper, dirty linen and still water combined with Rei's heavenly aroma of minty dried blood meant that every breath felt like she was near.
"Rei?" I called lightly. No answer, maybe she was at-
My thoughts trailed off abruptly, a new scent had come to my attention… it shared a bloody quality similar to Rei's but diluted by starch and old aftershave…the scent of my father…
How dare he touch her! I strode the room in a rage in search of the scent, eventually being led to Rei's dresser.
There they were, next to a large jar, the source of the offence: father's glasses, twisted and broken but HERE!
I snatched them up in a fury, the frames already beginning to buckle under my enraged grip.
How dare he? How dare he sully her purity!
I was set to rage, to destroy all traces of my father in a fit of fury!
But I stopped, something about the air here…
A cursory sniff of the jar revealed my delay in picking up the glasses lingering aroma.
I stepped closer, glasses and anger forgotten in this new discovery; The jar smelt of Rei, not in the same, second hand way everything around her did, but of REI. This jar was connected to her in some crucial way that I could not see.
A small sound caused me to spin around in shock; Rei was stood a little way behind me staring at me with her penetrating red eyes.
She was also naked.
I am not sorry to say that I froze, transfixed by the sight before me, eyes tracing the perfect curves of Rei's alabaster skin, the delicate tracery of veins just beneath the flesh.
It is not often one of the damned gets to gaze upon an Angel and I would not miss my chance.
"Hell-"I broke off as Rei's expression darkened suddenly and she strode towards me, hand reaching up to snatch the glasses from my grip.
I made no move to stop her or set the glasses down, transfixed as I was by the sight before me; they way she moved… muscles flowing beneath her skin in a smooth, almost military march that caused her breasts to bounce lightly… Her hand clasped mine, cool skin radiating the warmth and damp of a shower.
Unfortunately I was holding on tighter then she had anticipated and she was pulling with more force then I had thought her tiny body capable of exerting, the resulting conflict of forces ended predictably; I lost my footing and fell forward causing Rei to over balance and tumble backwards.
I looked down into Rei's red eyes, scant inches away from my own and smiled. Rei did not appear perturbed by her position and I most certainly was not.
I took the opportunity to savour her scent again; the smell of blood was weaker now, her cheap shampoo hiding it in a chemical haze, but that let another scent come to the fore; the scent of peppermint and sorrow, my Angel was unhappy about something and had been for a long time.
"Would you get off"
I complied, reluctantly, being sure to give her one last caress as I stood and helped her to her feet.
"I came to deliver this my lady." I said, bowing floridly to her as I presented the ID card with a flourish.
She paused, as she always did.
"…Thank you." Such a soft voice…
"I am afraid that the picture does not do you justice, but then what does"
Just for a second, the merest of moments, her cheeks coloured and I smiled.
"Why do you say such things?" She asked quietly.
"Because they are true, a beauty such as yours could never be captured in something as mundane as plastic"
'Although the effort is appreciated' I mused, giving the card an appreciative glance.
She dressed as we spoke; roughly pulling on a school uniform and underwear as though they were a necessary evil.
"I'm going now."
"Then I will accompany you."
"If you wish."
The walk was a quiet one, Rei not deigning to speak and I simply basking in her presence. Her scent blazed a muted trail through the chemical stench of the city.
There were few people on the streets that morning, even less then a mere week ago yet there were enough for me to observe an intriguing phenomenon; people avoided Rei.
Not that I care but Shinji insists that I add these things for his benefit.
See? I can be good.
We had just entered NERV proper, passing the huge gates with their blood-red proclamation when;
"What do you know about my father?"
The question was a surprise, even to me. My attention fixed upon my angels every movement I had not noticed Shinji's presence stirring before he had spoken, almost causing me to bite our tongue in confusion.
If Rei noticed the difference in my tone it was masked by the look of slight surprise caused by Shinji's blurted question.
"I am…familiar with the commander."
Now MY curiosity was piqued, just what did father want with Rei?
"Does he treat you well?"
"…I am not sure what you mean."
"Does he hurt you?"
Silence.
"Are you afraid Ayanami? When you fight I mean?" continued Shinji, obviously trying to fill the void of Rei's last answer.
"Can you not have faith in your fathers work?"
"I could never trust him again."
To my surprise she spun round and tried to slap me, shocked as I was I only barely caught her slim wrist. But the look on her face stopped me from blocking the next one; she was glaring at me in utter rage!
"I-"I began, but she had already stormed off. Leaving me too confused to even enjoy the sensation of her stinging blow.
"What happened there?"
'She likes father obviously." Chimed Shinji, in one of his more irritating moods it seemed.
'I know Shinji, I knew that the moment I found his scent in her rooms. But I never expected that kind of reaction…You take over for a while, I need to think on this."
And so saying I relinquished control to Shinji
I have to admit Rei's reaction to him surprised me as well, she'd accepted everything else he'd said and done to her without complaint yet it only took one instance of Him showing our shared dislike of the man who abandoned us to trigger a display of emotion I hadn't considered Rei capable of.
Judging from the much sharper scent of peppermint Rei had been rather angry, at least for her. And that was odd; I couldn't smell her anger, only the peppermint and the expression on her face gave me the slightest clue as to her emotional state. For someone who can read a person just by their scent such…illegibility was worrying.
My mind went back to the glasses found at her apartment, my father's glasses…
Just what was her relationship with my father? I'd never seen them interact outside of the cages but whenever they did it was with such uncharacteristic warmness that I couldn't help feel jealous, though of whom it was impossible to say.
"Shinji?" Too absorbed with my ponderings to notice that I'd been wandering NERV'S corridors I looked up at the voice just before walking clean into its source.
"Misato?"
Her jolly voice piped out in answer, slightly muffled.
"Hey kiddo, not in public!"
Ignoring this I extricated myself from her breasts and stepped back quickly, I wasn't in the mood for Misato's 'unique' brand of humour right now.
"What are you doing here?"
"I just walked here with Rei after giving her her new access card-"
"She didn't look too happy when she passed me just now…try to cop a feel?" she interrupted. Judging from Misato's expression she clearly wasn't serious in believing I would, I wonder what her expression would be if she knew that 'I' had done just that?
"Misato?"
"Yes Shinji?"
"What do you know about Rei?"
Instantly and predictably a cunning grin spread across Misato's face, all her suspicions no doubt confirmed.
"Oh-ho!"
"It's not like that! I just…I just wanted to know why she seems to get along so well with father. That's all"
Damn it! It seemed so simple but actually saying it…I couldn't be jealous of Rei could I?
Misato's expression softened at this "Before I say anything about Rei listen to me Shinji; your father abandoned YOU, not the other way around. You don't need him."
"I know…but…" I paused, wondering if it would be a good idea to tell Misato about the glasses.
"I know, some part of you still wants to be accepted by the bastard." She laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I felt the same way with my father..."
"Your fath-" I began, but Misato interrupted with an upraised hand.
"I'll tell you some other time kiddo, Busy busy busy!"
"But-"
"As for Rei I can't really help you, She keeps to herself and was here before I was, although if anyone would know it'd be Ritsuko."
And then she was gone, striding down the corridor and leaving me with a lingering smile and the scents of vanilla, beer and wet ink.
"Thanks."
(Breaker)
"What's with the sudden interest?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.
I'd found Dr Akagi in her office going through reams of paper with a female tech I recognised as Miss Ibuki. It was never hard to find the good doctor, her scent was more memorable then most and not only because of the lingering jab of the bakelite, it smelt of old paper, ozone, cats and, without Misato's apartment masking it; most uncomfortably my father.
"Um…" I hadn't thought of her asking this question really. It would be a bad idea to say that the voice in my head had a crush on Rei. Although obsession would be closer to the mark.
"Too embarrassed to say, eh? Well that attitude won't get you far."
"But I-" Her abruptness surprised me, Dr Akagi was completely different from the day before, seeming almost offended by my question.
Aparently she noticed my discomfort as her glare softened a moment.
"Rei's had a very…traumatic past, she lost her parents shortly after the third impact and has lived much of her life alone, the blue hair and red eyes are a result of contamination she suffered in the womb during the impact. As I'm sure you can attest children can be very cruel to those that are different."
All this was delivered in such a clipped, precise manner that I sat stunned for a moment, trying to digest these revelations. Rei was fourteen? She didn't look it, didn't feel it either.
(It has since been brought to my attention that the above line has been considered 'dodgy' or as Asuka so kindly put it "YOU FUCKING PERVERT!" so in amendment I make it clear that I was talking about Rei in a ESP sense.)
"Commander Ikari for…reasons of his own, took Rei as his ward and has been her guardian for the last 13 years
She is lying to us
What?
She is lying to us; Rei is not 14 years old.
This was interesting, for all his insanity (hey!) my other was usually right about things like this.
Rei does not smell human, even you should have picked that up by now, Shinji.
Well, excuse me if I haven't taken every available chance to sniff her!
Which, of course, proves my point that you are an idiot
"Shut up!"
"Excuse me?"
"What?" I said, confused.
'I eagerly anticipate your response'
Dr Akagi was glaring at me in shock and annoyance while Miss Ibuki looked like the sky had fallen. "What do you mean 'shut up'?"
Damn it! I'd spoken aloud again. Now Akagi thought I was yelling at her.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't talking to you!"
Smooth.
To my surprise Akagi looked somewhat mollified. "Ah yes, your file mentioned something like this."
It did?
"It did"
"It did?" chipped in Ibuki rather redundantly and giving me an odd look.
I sighed quietly; I was all too used to odd looks.
"Don't worry, all it said was that you had had some problems with confrontation, causing you to slip out of concentration, sometimes manifesting as harmless voices in your childhood"
Seeing my stunned nod she continued briskly
"But that they're all sorted now. Maybe the stress of piloting has brought them on again?"
Brought them on again?
"You think I'm insane?"
"You work here don't you?"
"…Touché."
Wow… an update. SI anyone still actually checking?
Thanks to all those who still come by to check, it means a lot to me that you've enjoyed my writing and I will do my best not to disappoint you on subsequent chapters.
Again: thanks.
