Yay! The continuing adventures of Libby White. And since I am far too busy (see: lazy) to actually make two seperate stories, this will remain in the vingettes. But fear not! When I get myself in gear, I shall make two stories!
Roll it, Louie!
Libby White stared hard at the door in front of her. It stared hard back. At least, she thought it did. It might have winked at her.
Libby pressed the doorbell, fingering the fifty-dollar bill in her pocket. She had made that bet with her father three centuries ago, and was glad to finally get her money out of it.
When no one came to the door, Libby started hitting the bell in a truly annoying "bingbingbingbingbingbing" way that was sure to get her aunt to the door, if only to put a hatchet through the head of the person on the other side.
"ALL RIGHT! KEEP YOUR HEAD ATTACHED!" Holly's scream came from beyond the wooden entrance. The door flew open.
"Auntie!" Libby exclaimed, throwing her arms around her aunt.
"Libs!" Holly hugged her quickly, took her inside, shut the door, and bonked her niece upside the head. "That's for breaking my doorbell."
"Ow…"
"Can I get'cha something to drink?"
"No thanks. Hey, I need to talk to you about something important that could change the way you live."
"Unclean! Unclean!" Holly exclaimed as she led Libby into the small living room/kitchen in her apartment.
"What?"
"You're trying to sell me insurance! Out, out, vile demons from hell!"
"I'm insulted that you think I'd go so low!" Libby retorted, pouting.
"All right, all right. So what're you trying to do?"
"When was the last time you went on a date?" Libby asked, stretching out on the sofa. Long, awkward silence lapsed, Holly staring at her niece with eyes as wide as dinner plates. Suddenly, Holly stared to laugh.
"You're…joking!" the private detective choked out, in between bouts of laughter. "No way! I will not…be coupled!"
"Oh, come on; you know the guy!" Libby exclaimed.
"Oh, no! That makes it even worse!" Holly said, laughing.
"Grow up, auntie! There's no way you can be happy living here, all alone," Libby said, getting starry-eyed. "Surely you must get lonely, with only Haven's city lights for company, and you all alone in a big empty bed with no one to hold you!"
"Geez…you've been reading Mulch's romance novels, haven't you?"
Libby's eyes darted back and forth. "Maybe."
"No, Libby, I don't get lonely at all. I'm perfectly happy. Besides, I wouldn't want some man mucking up my house and clinging to my wallet and getting the idea that I'm one of these wimpy female types who need a man to get anything done," Holly said with a wry smile.
"Lies! Anyway, don't you want to know who it is?"
Now it was Holly's turn to make her eyes dart back and forth. "Okay, maybe a little."
"Gimme a dollar."
"Never!"
"Fine…at least go get me some of the quadruple-fudgitty-fudge-fudge brownies that we all know you hide in the freezer." Holly laughed and came back with two brownies.
Libby attacked hers with gusto. "Okay, now stand up so that I can see the look on your face."
Holly sighed, and, rolling her eyes, obeyed, the brownie still in her hand.
Libby watched her aunt, and said with an evil smile, "Foaly."
Holly's face resembled the look she wore during the tragic incident involving a set of china and thirty-two paper clips: a look of horror, embarrassment, and concealed interest and excitement.
Choosing her words carefully, Holly said, "Gesundheit."
Libby laughed. "That's right, auntie! There's a centaur somewhere in Haven that thinks you're the neatest thing since carrot cake!"
Holly made one fluid moment, and had her niece pinned to the sofa. "Tell anyone what you just told me," Holly whispered, "and I shall personally eat you for breakfast."
"Too…late," Libby managed to say, "Dad…all ready knows."
"The hell he does!" Holly yelled, getting off of her niece and pocketing the fifty dollars she had just filched. "I can't believe you told my brother something that stupid!"
"Auntie…" Libby began, trying to drive her point home. It was the only way to handle Holly; it was impossible to calm her down. "Look. You won't be this adamant if you weren't pleased but didn't want to be. Relax. I've got it under control."
"No, Libby, you will not-" Holly's protest was cut short by the front door shutting. Holly sighed and picked up the phone to call her brother. Prepares she could threaten him into controlling his daughter.
Since I was listening to the Llama Song nonstop when I wrote this, I'm just pleased that it's readable.
Review, please!
