CAUTION

Rated "M" because of excessive language and strong sexual innuendo… in the yaoi form, of course. . Please do not read any farther if you are easily offended.

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Disclaimer We do not own, nor claim to own, (only wish to own) Gundam Wing or anything else that is copyrighted in this story. Trust us- if we owned GW… there would be a lot more naked Trowa.

Authors Notes

This fanfic is mostly from Quatre's POV… point of view for those of you who totally missed that one. Any italicized writing is what Quatre is thinking.

…And that's basically it.

OH! And to our readers of our other fics… please don't kill us. We're working on them (we swear!), but we've just had a lot of stuff going on (like band and choir competitions- theater- etc, etc, etc.) BUT WE'LL UPDATE SOON.

END NOTES

One Fucking Bad Day

I don't know why… but lately I've been feeling very strange, and thinking strange thoughts. For example, my favorite word used to be Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a lung disease caused by breathing in particles of siliceous volcanic dust, but now it is simply; fuck. There's just something about it. It comes out so nice, crisp, and sharp. One syllable of instant user-satisfaction. Of course, being the cute and innocent blondie of our flaming Gundam group, I try my hardest to keep my blossoming new vocabulary down. I try to keep the swirling, vulgar thoughts such as: Duo, why don't you shut the FUCK up? Or: Wufei, nobody FUCKING cares! Or: Heero… what the FUCK? And especially: Trowa, please FUCK ME! … to myself.

The day my newfound terminology was discovered by the rest of the homos started off like any other day. Well…kinda…

"WAKE UP QUATRE! IT'S DUO! WAKE UP QUATRE IT'S DUO! WAKE UP QUATRE IT'S DU-"

My hand slammed onto the snooze button with the force of a small military vehicle. How the fuck did that stupid braided bastard do that? I promptly ripped the alarm's cord from the wall. Another fucking day.

I arose from my bed in a zombie-like state to start getting ready for school. I fucking hate college… rich people shouldn't have to go. Fuck this. I stripped off my chocobo pajamas and exited into the bathroom. An hour and a half later I was ready. Why the fuck does it take me so long to get ready? I mean, holy fuck! All I do is wash and condition my hair, shave my face, wash my face, shave my arms, chest, and legs (amongst other places). Then all I fucking do is oxidize, moisturize, and hydrate my skin. Then I blow dry my fucking impossible to shape hair, and I'm finished after a thin layer of makeup to even out my fucking complexion!

Still angry at myself I continued downstairs to grab some breakfast; however, upon entering the kitchen, I stumbled upon a very disheveled Duo crawling over the floor.

"Duo, is everything alright?" I asked my blue eyes quivering with concern…here is what I was actually thinking…Duo what the fuck are you doing and what the hell are you putting all over my clean kitchen?

Duo twitched and looked up at me through his matted hair, "couldn't…sleep" he twitched again and his eyes glazed over.

"Why not Duo?" I tried to put a comforting arm around his shoulder. Make this quick Duo and if I find out that you didn't get any sleep because you and Heero were going at it like bunnies I might just slap you!

"Something was running around in the kitchen" he grabbed the sides of my face and squashed them together to make my lips pucker up, "we have a mouse in the house!" and with that he scurried off himself, disheveled braid dragging on the floor. It was then that I noticed, because Duo's dragging braid set one off, that the things Duo was placing out, and not just in the kitchen, was mouse traps.

I finished my orange juice and was opening the door when it was jerked open from the other side. This is the best part of my morning!

"Good morning Trowa." I practically purred while smiling warmly at him AND while batting my eyes a bit.

"Morning."

Fuck I have amazing timing! If I plan my morning accordingly Trowa is just finishing his run when I leave for school, and when it is hot (like it is today) he runs with out a shirt on. Holy fuck batman is he shemxy! I just want to run my hands up his abs and…

"Quatre are you alright?" Trowa asked with just enough concern to make me blink out of my thoughts.

"Yes the sudden…um…heat…got to me" Something got to me that's for sure!

Can someone please tell me why? Why in the hell did I take a summer course? And it's not just any class! No no no, I couldn't take underwater basket weaving or something fun! I had to take advanced calculus! Why do I inflict such pain on myself? That's it I must be a masochist!

I sat in my chair not paying attention, not gazing out the window, not gazing at the eye candy in the third row, but doodling Trowa's name over my lecture notes. What can I say! I'm obsessed! Not in some freak stalker way, even though I plan my mornings around when he gets home and doodle his name on my homework, I'm an uke in love…we do that sort of thing. I've loved him ever scents that time we played our instruments together. He has been my source of courage and strength for as long as I care to remember. And now that the war is over he has been nothing but kind and wonderful to me.

But why won't that fucking bastard make a move!

Anyway, perhaps I will invite him to lunch! That's it!

And then from there we will have rabid monkey sex on the table!

"Winner!"

God that ass hole of a teacher has a loud voice! Can't he tell when a man is plotting!

"I am very disappointed in your recent test score Winner, the remake will be next Tuesday."

He then placed my firework worthy of an F on my desk.

What the fuck…

I stared with utter disbelief at my math test. I'm Quatre Winner I don't fail math tests! Sure this stuff is hard for normal people but I'm not normal!

After class, I went up to the teacher's desk to get advice on what to study for the make up. Teachers like it when you do that.

"Thank you Professor Ni for giving me a second chance." I tried to sound depressed but not get filed into the brown nosing category.

"It's alright Quatre, you're a smart boy." At this point, the professor took my hand in his own and gave squeezed it gently. "I'm sure that you will do wonderfully on the make up. Perhaps what you need is some one on one with your teacher, that way you can be fully prepared…" he began to trail off and he looked up at me with that glint in his eye that just screamed 'ulterior motive'.

Shit! Is my professor hitting on me? This can't be good! ……………maybe I will get an A in the class if… NO! Bad Quatre! Hokey! Escape routes! Crap now he has a hold of my other hand!

"You have such beautiful eyes Quatre."

Now that is lame! He chooses to hit on me and then says lame lines like, "you have beautiful eyes"! I can so do better then this!

"Why thank you for the complement professor, but I am afraid I will have to decline your offer for help. You see I already have a wonderful math tutor coughTrowacough so thank you but no thank you".

And at that I wrenched my hands free and practically ran to the door. Leaving my stunned Professor at his desk.

That was so unbelievingly disgusting! I can't believe he did that! Will to reward my surviving being hit on by my professor I'm going to call Trowa!

So! With that one tracked mindset I flipped out my cell phone and called my uni-eyed lover to be.

"Hello"

Holy crap! Even his phone voice is sexy!

"Hi Trowa! It's Quatre! I was just calling to see if you were busy." I shifted my feet uncomfortably, "You see I was wondering if you wanted to go get some lunch with me?"

"…"

Holy shit I can practically see the periods over the phone!

"If you are busy its ok, I just got out of class and was feeling kinda hungry…" Well actually horny but who's going to tell.

"Thank you for the invitation Quatre but I am having lunch with Catherine today."

That bitch!

"Oh, ok…well perhaps another day…bye Trowa."

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! The one day I pluck up enough courage to ask that shemxy basterd to lunch he is going off with that circus freak of a slut Catherine! Like a sister my ass! They are probably fuck buddies! Shit on a god damn cracker…

So after stomping my feet a few times in the hall with my hands on my hips and a dramatic hair flick later, I was in my car.

My destination was the park, perhaps being outside would help my mood!

What the fuck was I thinking?

After arriving at said park, I went straight for my favorite section, the flower garden. There I saw a hummingbird. I beautiful innocent hummingbird. I then saw a cat leap out of the flowers to catch the hummingbird and run off with it.

Fuck…

I think that covers it well. But this was not the end of what I have decided to call "The park fiasco that sealed Quatre's shit day". Oh no. To add on top of the hummingbird; there was the baby duck that was getting pick on, I got stung by a bee, I saw at least five couples making out! This only made me jealous! Fuck them and there PDA! And then, in my haste to get out of the parking lot I ran over a squirrel! Don't those little effer's know that they are going to lose up against a car!

So now I'm basically in tears, trying to drive home.

This can't be safe…

It was difficult but I made it home.

Home to only discover that every INCH of the floor was covered in Duo's mouse traps!

But I carefully took of my shoes and headed for the kitchen.

O Goodie every one of our fab 5 are now home!

"Good Evening everyone!" I smiled brightly at all of them.

Everyone looked up at me with the same exasperated expression…expect Duo, who mercilessly bounded around all the mouse traps to return my greeting.

The rest of the evening started off smooth…I mean compared to the rest of my day! I mean fuck my computer only froze up; Heero's science experiment blow up in my face, Wufei karate chopped me, I walked in on Heero and Duo making out, and to top it all off! Trowa has only said one word to me! "hn".

What the fuck does "hn" mean!

So now it is after dinner and Wufei, Duo and Heero are watching TV and Trowa is helping me with the dishes.

"Quatre can you hand me the crock pot so I can wash it."

"Sure Trowa! No problem!"

Yes! Thirteen words!

I then pranced around the mouse traps to grab the said pot only vaguely hearing Trowa's warning that it was probably still very hot. I quickly snatched it and just as quickly through it from my grasp with a yell of…

"AH! It's hot!"

See this is where it gets tricky. As I throw the pot across the kitchen, I lost my balance and fell on to the floor. What happens the instant I hit the floor? With a resounding snap two mouse traps tried to clamp themselves around my ass while several made there claim on my fingers. And we must not forget the single one that found its home around my big toe.

It is here, right before the crock pot hit the floor that I let out an echoing scream of…

"FUCK!"

If all the heads weren't on me before, they were now.

I scrambled up, vigorously tiring off the offending traps.

"This has to be the one of the worst fucking days, of my whole entire fucking life!" my rant was only gaining in speed and veracity as everyone stood motionless and silent around me. "Not only do I have the worst wake-up call in the history of the whole fucking plant but I failed a math test! And my professor hit on me! And he wasn't even suave about it! And then the poor fucking hummingbird! Don't even get me started on the poor fucking hummingbird! And I killed a squirrel! What if that squirrel had a father? Hmm?"

And just as I was taking a breath to start again, Trowa quickly slide one hand around my waist and the other came up to the back of my head, and me pulled me in.

My mind went blissfully blank. My surroundings and thoughts slide away. The only thing that mattered was Trowa's lips moving rhythmically against my own. I slowly brought my shaking hands up around Trowa's neck. I let Trowa's strength wash over me as our kiss deepened.

The need for air became abruptly apparent as we broke away. Me looking flushed and out of breath, but Trowa looking as sexy as ever.

"I'm sorry you had a bad day, Quatre."

I looked at him, my eyes glazed over and my knees weak.

"Bad day…what are you talking about? This is a great day!" I smiled up at him as my knees start to give out.

And don't go making fun of a guy whose knees go weak! Has Trowa ever kissed you?

Duo leaned over to Heero, "Hey Hee-chan?"

"Hm?"

"If I said fuck, would you kiss me until I was weak in the knees?" Duo asked in a hopeful whisper.

"I would rinse your mouth out with soap if you ever said fuck."

"O" sighed Duo looking down at his feet.

"But if you asked politely I'm sure we could negotiate something." Heero said lifting Duo's head up.

And from here shall I say that Duo and Heero scampered off to do the naked pretzel.

And shall we also say that Wufei, after cleaning his nose bleed, stomped off to his room declaring that he was going to call Treize with this injustice.

This left Trowa and I alone.

"Trowa…why?" I stammered around my words unsure of what to say.

"Because Quatre Raberba Winner you are the most fascinating and beautiful person I have ever had the honor to meet." He then kissed me chastely on the lips, "and you never cease to surprise me."

"Surprise you? Well then, I have a question for you?" I smiled devilishly at him, "your reaction to the word fuck was that totally on a figurative level or a literal level?"

I started to tug playfully on his bangs as he caught the meaning of my words.

"I'm a very literal person Quatre." he then slide both arms around my waist pushing our bodies together.

"That's good because when I say something I want to be taken seriously." My voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's why I didn't ask about the hummingbird."

And with that Trowa literally swept me off my feet and carried me through the mine field of mouse traps and onward to more entertaining things.

I can honestly say that fuck will forever more be my absolute favorite word.


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