Author's Note: Yes... I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry :( It has been wayyyy too long since I've been back. Honestly... I've been going through a lot for the past couple of months. Busy with life and then went through a rough emotional patch about a month ago which shut me down completely (mentally and emotionally). That also got me in a writer's block. I needed to work on my mental and emotional health first before I could write again. Honestly, I did write this chapter before I went through my breakdown, but it just took me a while to get back into it, to proofread it and fix/add anything else that I needed to. So that's the reason why I've been gone for so long. I am better, not 100% yet, but I've been finding ways to cope and to regain my creativity. One thing I have been doing more of and that has brought me joy is that I've gotten back to drawing. That has become like medication for me so drawing has brought sanity back which has also brought back my desire to write again.
I won't say that I'll be "taking a break" because, for me, that would mentally put me in a space where I will rationalize not writing. But I will say that I will write as my creativity comes, which is getting better by the day. So I hope to update as soon as I can. With everything going on in the world and in my life in particular (job, church, relationships/friendships), it has been a lot for me to deal with. And ironic how it all came during one week and in that one week, I broke down. But... I'm back! And thanks to all of your reviews, you have inspired me and kicked my butt back into gear/sanity.
Side note: there were a few things I had hoped some of you caught in the last chapter. One person got the 'silver hair' clue (in the mall). But no one got the 'next song' clue (Inu walking outside his family's home). Don't worry, the next chapter it'll come out so I won't spoil it just yet.
Anyways... I hope you all like this chapter. Might not be what some of you hoped for but don't worry... good things come to those who wait :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha
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R2R
susu-anon: I'm sorry. I know you were raising your hand for an update by the end of March, at least by Easter. So was I. But I just couldn't get it out of me to write. However, what I will say is that your last review (your 3rd review ^_^), pushed me to update and get this darn chapter out. So "Thank you!". My fans are my motivation and you guys kick my butt into gear when I get in a slump. Okay, now to your review(s) :) I'm glad you like Mir/San's relationship dynamic. I definitely think they are so underrated in the series and need a lot more fluff like Inu/Kag (won't be that much since this is an Inu/Kag fic). LoL I love your little snarky comment of Naraku ("go and watch some porn if you want to beat your meat so bad sir" ^_^) You crack me up! Kag did tell Inu what Naraku did in Osaka at the end of the last chapter. Yes, I did cut it off because I wanted to leave them alone in their intimate moment in the park. Let Kag do all the talking to Inu and you'll find out more about what happened that night later, some even in this chapter :) Regarding your second review... it's interesting you see Inu/Sai/Kag's dynamic that way with money. Inu won't be doing what you suggested because he knows Kag better than that and he's not that kind of a person. Even though he does know her backstory a little as in coming from nothing with the parents that she had- he's not the type of person to care about money. Yes, he has a lot of it but could do without. Heck, he's willing to lose his job if he had to. As for Sai, he's more of the money-boy because it's how he grew up (the son of a prominent businessman) and it's who he is now as the inheritor of his father's business. With the pressure of all of that, money is everything to him, which was why he came to Kag in the beginning, spilling his personal problems to her with his father and she helping him. That help got him to where he is now, comfortably taking on his new responsibilities and working with his father on good terms. Also, Sai had mentioned a few times in his head that he wanted to take Kag out of Midnite and give her a life she deserves. That includes money because what kind of a self-respecting woman would work at a gentlemen's club if it wasn't for money? So he is willing to 'buy her freedom' so she won't have to work there anymore. Little does he know, do the both of them know, how much money Kags has after working at Midnite for a decade. But that'll be revealed later. Thanks for your reviews! Again, you guys always motivate me and inspire me because of your love for the story. I hope you enjoy this one!
val-rommel: Thank you for your review! Yes, Inu/Kag are officially dating! *fireworks* Yes, Naraku is a douche. Not sure where his future will end up. Right now, he's remaining with the group for several reasons. I think this chapter you might find out a little as to why Kag is the way she is around men. But at Midnite, she is in control. She needs the control. Because of what happened to her. Outside of Midnite, you're right, she doesn't know what to do, not because she doesn't have her bodyguards but because of her past. Anyways... oh! As for the song... I'll reveal it on the next one :) I hope you enjoy this chapter
hive-chan: Awww, thanks for your review and for your support in my writing- whether it be Inuyasha or Seven Deadly Sins fics. I'm really not sure where I want to go but as of now, I can only handle one on my plate. Yes, Kikyo does have a lot to grow in. This chapter will show her growing up a bit and facing the facts. I'm not sure how much I want to invest in Kik's personal life, because honestly it's not a fic about her, but I do want the fans to see that she has issues (like everyone does) and that she's learning and growing from them. Hmmm... I am interested in how you see both Inu and Kag. You mentioned Kag has "mommy and daddy issues". That's probably from all the flashbacks that Kag has opened up about so far- so yes, a little bit of that, but those issues go much deeper. And Kag being a people pleaser and needy- I'm surprised you saw that in just these chapters so far. You'll see why because Kag brings this point up in this chapter. And as for Inu- yes, he's a bit of a hothead and that's because of what happened with Kiyomi a century ago. This chapter will explain a little bit more. Yes, I won't make Inu/Kag's relationship all hearts and flowers because it's not. But hot makeup sex? Hmmm... ;P I know EVERYONE is waiting for the lemons. So am I. Kag is getting there... slowly. Thank you for your review and enjoy this one!
vanessa: Haha, of course I respond to my reviews. I appreciate my fans and for you guys taking the time to review, so I will take the time to read and respond to them. You guys are the ones who motivate me to write more and get out of my funk. Awww, thank you if you read the other stories. "The Prophecy of the Child" was the first one I ever wrote back when I was in high school and I have been writing ever since. So that one is my golden child :) As for your question: yes, Inu will find out about Kag working at Midnite. I honestly have had so many ideas on 'how' he will find out (most of them not so nice). So we'll see where things take us up until that time. Thanks for your review! Enjoy this one
anime-geek: Yes, as of now, SDS is going to be on hold. Because I went through a rough patch the past couple of months, I need to slow down and just focus on a few things instead of doing too many and burning out. As for Naraku, yes he isn't the only one in Kik's circle- there's Akari and Toshu too (who you'll find out more in this chapter). But as her manager, he is primarily with her 24/7 and manages a lot of her every day business. The record label also is involved because she is their investment and Akari is like her public image support so she deals with those sort of stuff (social media, interviews, etc). I'm not sure what Naraku's future holds right now. I'm afraid for him once Inu sees him again. We will get to Midnite soon and talking about Koga too :) Thanks for your review! Hope you enjoy this one!
xsophiex: Yeah, I like the old-fashion qualities of men. Not to say there's none like that now OR that they were once barbaric and a 'beats-chest' kind of men. But just that protective, honorable, loyal, treats his woman like a queen kind of guy, you know? It's hard to find those nowadays. Ah, I'm glad you notice my chapter titles. I always make it go along with what the chapter is about, though not everyone catches them all the time. But I do give away hints by the title. As for your question: you'll see about Inu/Kik's relationship in this chapter. Thanks for your review! Enjoy!
MinxieXCX: Oh oh! Are you in love with Sai Okano? Haha- don't get me wrong. That man is smoking hot beneath all that sophistication and business attire. And he seems like such a good guy from the way he treats Kag at Midnite. But sorry... no Sai in this chapter. The next one though- promise :) The "easter egg" as you put it was the silver hair in the mall. It wasn't Inu. Someone did get it though :) But that's for another chapter. I also put a clue in for the next song that Inu/Kag is going to dance to- the clue was the environment in where he was walking :P Anyways, thanks for your review! Enjoy this chapter!
Rosie B: Awww, I was really hoping you of all the fans would get the next song they dance to. No worries, though. I did give a hint to the next song by the environment in which Inu was walking around in. But again... out of all the songs in the world, it's hard to find just one. When I do name it, you'll understand and get why I made him walk around out there :) Yes, there is so much happening in all the people in Inu/Kag's life/relationship. It's definitely like a soap opera lol. But who wouldn't love those two and want to be with them? As for your guess to the 'silver hair' in the mall?= Not Sessho ;) Good guess though! I will probably reveal it in the next chapter. But thanks for your review! I hope you enjoy this one!
inusitter: Yay! Glad you're caught up. Thanks for reading all the chapters and for your reviews. I hope you enjoy this next one!
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The next day, Kagome ended up feeling in high spirits. She decided to clean her room for the day while also unpacking and washing clothes. The entire morning she kept busy. She woke up so happy and knew that it was because of last night. 'Inuyasha.' She was finally giving 'them' a chance. Last night had been such an amazing night. She had told Inuyasha what Naraku did to her in the onsen and then about her conversation with Kikyo. Of course, sitting in his lap, she could feel him trembling with rage as he listened to what Naraku did to her. But he said nothing. He let her talk and every time she looked at him, he was watching her intently, listening to her every word. He gave her things, things that she never thought she wanted, things she never thought affected her. Things like his attention. She desired his attention like a drug. The more she sat in his arms, the more he kept his eyes on her, listening intently and not interrupting her, and the more she appreciated and loved him even more. He listened to her. He saw her. And for once in her life, she was happy.
Kagome smiled to herself as she went for her phone, putting in her AirPods to listen to music while she cleaned her apartment. She had been gone all weekend and it had been a busy month so it was time for a good clean while doing laundry. She wore shorts and a sports bra, her hair up in a bun, ready to tackle today's projects. As she opened her Spotify, she noticed she had a message.
"Call me :)" From Sango. Kagome frowned, wondering if everything was okay. She called Sango's number, leaving her phone on the kitchen sink while she began to move her furniture around, thankful for Bluetooth.
"Hey, Kagome!"
"Hey, Sango. I got your message. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over for lunch. I want to hang out and maybe look at some dresses again?" she asked with a giggle.
Kagome shook her head, piling her couch pillows on top of her bed. "Have you and Miroku talked about a date already?"
"No. But I told him last night that I don't want to wait forever. We've already had almost five years together. And I don't need anything big. I just want to be his wife already."
Kagome smiled. Sango and Miroku's love was so endearing, cute and inspiring. She hoped to have a love like theirs. "He's okay with that?"
"Yeah. Miroku wants whatever I want. You know. It's usually the woman who makes the wedding grander than it should be."
Kagome giggled. "Yeah, I guess." She wouldn't really know.
"So can you come over? Just to hang out? We don't have to look at dresses if you don't want to. We can just chill outside on the balcony and hang out," Sango offered.
"Sure. I'll come over. I'm cleaning my house and doing laundry now. I can be there around noon."
"That's great! Okay, I'll see you then."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
Kagome walked over to her phone to see that the call was ended and put on some music. It was time to sweat it out and clean her home.
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"Sesshomaru!"
Inuyasha walked into the kitchen, seeing his brother and his brother's mate at the kitchen table. His parent's home was huge, everything being bigger than normal to accommodate at least their whole family but most importantly the grand events they would hold here. The great hall was normally where they would host events and multiple guests. But for friends and family, the kitchen was the prime place where they could have an intimate meal together.
"I have a bone to pick with you."
Sesshomaru looked up from his plate to see his younger brother storming towards him from the other end of the kitchen table. He sat at the head while his mate sat to his right, silently eating her breakfast. Rin looked up and smiled at Inuyasha as he came to stand at the chair across from her.
"Good morning, Inuyasha," she said sweetly, unaffected by his anger. These brothers always got into arguments and fights, though it was usually a one-sided emotional spat.
Inuyasha turned to look at Rin and smile at her, nodding his head. "Morning, Rin." He turned back and his eyes grew hard on his brother, glaring at him. "Why did you give Kiyomi my number?"
Sesshomaru went back to eating his breakfast, casually talking as if it was an every day topic. "She asked me for it."
Inuyasha looked at him as if he had grown two heads. "So then you gave it to her because she asked?!"
"She assured me that she only wanted to congratulate you for the concert in Osaka."
"Pfff... and Kiyomi is a noble inuyoukai whose words are true." Kiyomi did congratulate him. She kept her end of the deal, as she always does. She was never one to tell a lie, but sometimes her words and bluntness were obtrusive and hurtful. But why did she care? She was a noble inuyoukai, as she always reminded him, and she deserved respect and happiness.
"Did she congratulate you?" Rin asked.
"Yeah, she did. But she didn't just congratulate me. You know she would start trouble," Inuyasha accused his brother.
Sesshomaru relaxed back into his chair, regarding Inuyasha. "Kiyomi is her own person, Inuyasha. You cannot avoid her forever. Her parents do business with ours. Father has no intention of severing business ties, yet, although personal ties are strained."
"There are no personal ties," Inuyasha assured his brother.
Kiyomi was a royal inuyoukai, much like the Fujimoto. Her family ruled over parts of the Western Land during the feudal era when life was about conquests and power. Blood was shed every minute of every day during those times. Kiyomi's father, Takeda, was the Lord of those lands and people at that time. Inuyasha's father and Takeda went to war one day, and when all hope seemed lost, Takeda surrendered to Inutaisho and pledged his allegiance to him. Since then, the two families have been on friendly terms, working together and continuing to do so up until this day. Takeda and Tomiko's only daughter, Kiyomi, was about a decade older than Inuyasha, but the two of them grew up together. They would see each other in court growing up and had become close friends, always playing with each other and teasing one another.
At a young age, the two of them were inseparable. Their parents would always find the two hiding somewhere, playing together, or just sitting quietly, enjoying each other's company out near the fishpond of the castle. It happened during their younger years when their parents could tell that there was potential for mating. That was when the talks first arose about mating each other's children to forge a stronger allegiance, two powerful inuyoukai families now being bonded in the sealing of a mate. Of course, the children didn't know that at the time. They continued to be friends, always seeking each other's company and attention, always wandering off to be alone together. The older they got, the more their feelings matured. Instead of a childish tease it became an innocent flirt, instead of pulling each other's hairs it became the curious touch of lovers. They began to explore on their own as desire bloomed between them. They already had a deep friendship, they already had deep devotion and love for one another. Now that they were older, mature and past puberty, the two of them discovered a new kind of love for one another. An intimate love with the body.
Inuyasha was the one to bring it up first to his father, asking Inutaisho about mating Kiyomi. Inuyasha confessed his love for her and how he felt like Kiyomi was his true mate. She had to be because he felt such love and devotion to her, growing up with her for fifty years, knowing all there is to know about someone as she was his best friend. Inutaisho and Izayoi talked to Takeda and Tomiko about it and the four of them agreed that Kiyomi felt the same way for Inuyasha. In the demon world, mates were the strongest bond that no one, no law or contract, could break. Most demon species have one mate for life while some will mate multiple at a time or throughout their lifetime. But inuyoukai are known for mating for life. There is only one. A mating ritual is a life-binding ritual that binds the two beings together, body and soul. It was a serious decision, but one that normally didn't require thought because the demon blood knew.
As much as the parents and the children agreed to Inuyasha and Kiyomi mating, Izayoi was the only one who had reservations. She knew her son. She could tell that there was something not right with their relationship. She didn't doubt that the two loved each other, anyone with eyes could see that. But she worried that her son was mixing a friendship love with a mate love. According to Inutaisho, every demon knows the moment they meet their mate. Inuyoukai in particular will know just by the scent alone that one person is their mate, the deep calling that scent will have to their demon's blood. And Izayoi was worried that because Inuyasha and Kiyomi knew each other so young, before Inuyasha hit puberty, that he might be confusing that puppy, childish love with a strong, mate love.
Inuyasha, however, could tell that something was wrong with his mother, even though she gave her blessing. So he had talked to his mother before he asked Kiyomi to be his mate and she had expressed her concerns to him, really drilling and asking Inuyasha if he truly loved Kiyomi. Their talk had turned into an argument when Inuyasha realized that his mother didn't want him to mate Kiyomi. It hurt him that she doubted him. Of course he would know his own mate. He wanted Kiyomi, he thought about her all the time, he loved spending time with her, he knew everything there was to know about her and loved her. All these things he's felt for her since childhood and they just grew into a male's love for his female. Now, his mother said that his love wasn't a true mate's love? Inutaisho had to step in when he could hear his mate crying and had to diffuse the situation, almost getting into a brawl with his youngest son. Izayoi had reiterated again that if Inuyasha loved Kiyomi, she would give her blessing to the both of them. She was only worried that he would be making this eternal decision that he might end up regretting.
Inuyasha heard her. And even though he disagreed, his mother had already planted a seed where somewhere in the back of his mind had caused him to doubt. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he was making the right decision. Inuyasha had gone to Sesshomaru many times, seeking his older brother's advice. Sesshomaru was two hundred years older than Inuyasha. His mother had died during a battle fighting alongside Inutaisho who had been gravely injured at the time trying to protect her. After recovering, he was devoted to his only son, Sesshomaru, who reminded him so much of his mate. Inutaisho mourned for over a century and it wasn't until Sesshomaru was 150 years old did Inutaisho meet Izayoi. For Inutaisho, he knew that Izayoi was his mate the moment he saw her, her scent only confirmed it. Sesshomaru never harbored any ill feelings towards Izayoi, even though he had a hatred for humans since they killed his mother. He felt that his father deserved to be happy and that perhaps after a mate dies, there is another one that fate will bring into existence, creating the other half of a demon's soul. Whatever it was, Sesshomaru could see that his father was totally devoted to this human woman. Because of Izayoi, she helped Sesshomaru to learn how to love humans, more like to tolerate them and appreciate them. During the same year Inutaisho met Izayoi, so did Sesshomaru meet Rin. Fate had a twisted sense of humor. Thanks to Izayoi, he slowly learned from her and from Rin how to not despise humans, at least not all of them. Both father and son mated their mates in the same year and have been with each other ever since. Fifty years later, Inuyasha was born and Sesshomaru was the big, older brother to his youngest hanyou brother. He taught Inuyasha a lot about the world and the hatred towards demons, especially hanyous. He tolerated no one who hated hanyous because he was mated to a human and his brother was one. He taught Inuyasha how to take care of himself, how to fight during that time of hatred and war that he was born into. Inuyasha looked up to his older brother and they also loved to pick fights with one another, though it was a way they showed their love. Inuyasha looked up to Rin as an older sister too. Inuyasha had asked Sesshomaru about mating and Sesshomaru told him it was just something you knew, something your demon knew instinctively without your brain having to think about it. She was your one and only, only your demon would know that. Unfortunately, this was one thing that Sesshomaru could not teach him. Every demon was different and every demon knew by their own instincts, it wasn't something that could be taught, but something that was ingrained in their blood. Sesshomaru couldn't really explain what to look for or how the feeling felt in words. Every demon was different.
That had got Inuyasha thinking but he still knew that he loved Kiyomi. There was no other woman out there who got his attention the way that Kiyomi did. Her beauty, her attitude, her sassiness and kindness. Everything about her he loved her for and she loved him too. She made him feel worthy, she made him feel like a man who had something to protect, something to live for. She gave him what he needed emotionally and physically, always being there for him to comfort him and to make him happy. They always had each other since they were children and he felt such love for her, love that was more than just a childish friendship love. So he had pursued her, courted her and they had made the vow to be with one another for life. But he hadn't mated her. Inuyasha felt like since his argument with his mother and his talk with both his father and Sesshomaru about mating, he felt like he needed to wait until he felt in his heart and soul that his demon knew she was his mate. Whatever that meant. He didn't know what he was waiting for. A feeling? A desire? A transformation? He didn't know what 'it' was. But he listened to his gut and decided to wait on the mating thing. They did love each other and took things farther. They officially were together and loved each other for a century. After that, something changed. Kiyomi changed. It happened after the pregnancy.
"My point exactly on why personal ties are strained, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru pointed out with patience. Nothing rattled him. "You need to find a way to deal with her when she does come into your life because you know that she will. It's inevitable. Our families deal business together and they are a part of our social circle."
"Not Kiyomi," Inuyasha objected. "I haven't seen her for almost a century now. And now she wants to come back into my life?" Inuyasha thought about what she said. She had been jealous. "Now she wants to come back... now when I found my mate," he growled out.
Rin gasped, placing her spoon down. "Is it that girl? Your dance partner?" she squealed. Inuyasha looked across the way at her and smiled, nodding his head.
"Kagome."
"Ah!" Rin jumped up, pushing the chair back and running around the table to give him a hug. Inuyasha braced for it as Rin ran into him, giving him a huge bear hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down to her level as she squeezed him. Inuyasha cringed, his eyes going to his brother's for help. Sesshomaru arched his eyebrow but that was the only emotion he showed. No help from him. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Rin, patting her comfortingly on the back.
"Uh, thanks, Rin."
Rin giggled, releasing him but not without swatting him on the chest first. "You're such a fool. You're like a brother to me, Inuyasha. Of course I'm going to be over the moon when you finally find your mate."
"You love this woman?" Sesshomaru asked. He hadn't seen much of their interactions together aside from the first and only meeting he had with this Kagome at his parent's charity event.
"Yes," Inuyasha said without hesitation. That caught Sesshomaru's attention.
"How do you know that she's your mate?" he asked, wanting to know if this time his brother truly felt the calling of one's mate. There were no words that he could use to help his brother in describing what to look for. One just... knew. And he, along with their father, thought that Kiyomi was not Inuyasha's mate. They only agreed on it because Inuyasha reassured them and because of the political power they could gain by uniting their families. But in the end, it was Inuyasha's decision not to mate Kiyomi. That was when Sesshomaru and Inutaisho knew that Kiyomi was not Inuyasha's true mate. A demon didn't put off not mating, not bonding that person's life and soul to them, if they weren't their true mate.
Inuyasha shrugged, resting his forearms on the top of the chair, gazing down at the table in front of him. "I just know. It's different this time."
"What's different?"
The three of them looked up to see Inutaisho and Izayoi walking into the kitchen, hand in hand. The two of them looked dressed like they were leaving.
"You guys heading off to work?" Inuyasha asked.
Inutaisho nodded as they came to the table, standing across of Inuyasha next to Rin's empty chair, Izayoi smiling at everyone in greeting. "We were heading for the door when I heard you all in here."
"What's different?" Izayoi asked, not hearing the conversation as Inutaisho did with his demon senses. She looked between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, watching as Sesshomaru turned his head expectantly at Inuyasha, waiting for him to spill the beans.
Inuyasha sighed, not expecting to have to tell his parents now. "Kagome and I are dating." Izayoi gasped, releasing her mate's hand only to clutch his bicep instead, squeezing him out of sheer happiness. Inuyasha stared across at her with humor. "I'm sure this time is different. Kagome's my mate."
Izayoi tried so hard to contain her joy, rubbing her thumbs along Inutaisho's jacket, trying to control herself. Inutaisho, however, gave his son a look. "This time it's different?" he restated. He remembered the conversations he had with his youngest about this woman and his son's feelings for her. He hadn't heard his son feel this way for anyone before, at least, according to Inuyasha. So it was refreshing to finally see his son care about a woman this way, but also he could see the struggle and toll it took on his son.
Inuyasha looked up, nodding his head. "It is. I just know Kagome is mine. My demon knows." He didn't know how to explain it. Is this what Sesshomaru meant? There were no words to describe 'it'. He just knew. He wanted her every moment of his day. He thought about her throughout his day, wondering if she's okay and what she's doing. He wanted to feel her, smell her, hold her and kiss her.
Sesshomaru grunted. "Then you should bring her to meet the family."
"Yes!" Izayoi chirped. "Honey, I think that's a wonderful idea. The only time I got to meet her was at the charity event and I loved her. She's such a beautiful, sweet girl. I want to get to know her. The two of you should come out for a weekend and we can plan to have a family weekend."
Inuyasha straightened, suddenly feeling butterflies in his stomach. He was proud to be bringing her to meet his family but it made him nervous as to how Kagome would take it. Would she accept them and love them? Knowing what he knew so far about her past with her parents, he was worried that she might not like these big family gatherings. It was something that he had a lot of while she had none of. That thought stuck with him. "I don't know about the weekends. She works Thursday through Sunday."
"Where?" Rin asked, now standing at Sesshomaru's side, leaning against his chair.
"She works nights at Tokyo Star."
"Oooo I love that restaurant," Izayoi said. She looked up at her mate. "Maybe we can go there one night to have dinner and meet her that way."
Inuyasha looked at his mother with dread. "Uh, maybe not, Mother. Don't go stalking her at her work. I'll just ask her if she wants to come over during the weekdays."
Izayoi giggled at her son's nervousness. He seemed to really be infatuated with Kagome. That she could tell at the charity event. She could tell that her son had a heart for that woman because of the way he acted around her. She had never seen his son act that way around any woman before, maybe Kiyomi, but not in the same way. She knew that this Kagome was different.
"I won't," Izayoi promised, not wanting to drive Kagome away. "I won't plan a sneak attack on her. But make sure you bring her over and we can have dinner one night. That'll be nice."
Inuyasha arched his eyebrow at his mother, wondering if she knew how 'nice' it would be for him. Yes, his parents had a few guest rooms for friends and family to stay in. Each room was like a master bedroom with its own bathroom and walk-in closet. But for him, he would want Kagome to stay with him, to sleep with him again. That would be a bridge he would have to cross when he got there. He didn't want to think of it now with his family around.
"Yeah, I'll ask her."
"Okay. Well we have to get going," Inutaisho said, looking down at his mate. "I need to get you to the hospital and then head off to work."
"I'll be there in a couple hours," Sesshomaru said, going back to finish his breakfast. "I have to pickup some paperwork from the lawyer's office."
Inutaisho nodded as Izayoi left his side, going towards Sesshomaru. She leaned towards him and he tilted his head up to give her access to his cheek. She kissed him and then walked around his chair to hug Rin, the two of them wishing each other a good day. Izayoi then went to Inuyasha and smiled at him as he smiled at her, hugging her and feeling her kiss his cheek too.
"Don't forget that your birthday is in a couple of months. I'm going to start sending out invitations soon," she said, releasing Inuyasha with a pat on his shoulder, winking at him. "Invite your friends. And Kagome." With that, she looked at her mate and the two of them walked towards the exit, heading back out into the living room to head to the front door.
"We should get going, honey," Rin said, moving from Sesshomaru's chair to take one last strawberry from her plate. "I have a patient this morning and I don't know how bad traffic will be."
Sesshomaru nodded his head and wiped his mouth, standing up. "Inuyasha, will you be staying here for the week?"
Inuyasha shook his head. "No. I'm packing up and heading back. The others are back and I need to talk with Kikyo."
"Oh yeah," Rin said, frowning. She knew about what happened at the concert since Inuyasha had filled them in on why he flew back so suddenly and why he wanted to stay at their parent's home. Sometimes Inuyasha and Sesshomaru would stay here on the weekends to get away from the city or be with family. Sesshomaru and Rin's two sons would sometimes join them and they would have a family weekend together. Their parent's doors were always open to them, whenever they wanted to visit or stay, it didn't matter. It was their home too.
"How's that going?" Sesshomaru asked him as he grabbed Rin's plate and walked over to the sink to deposit them.
Inuyasha shrugged, looking at Rin's concerned expression. "We'll see. I'm going to talk to her. And then..." He needed to talk to Naraku. Well, more like less words and more fists with that guy. Inuyasha was going to teach Naraku a lesson.
"Any reason why you're suddenly angry?" Sesshomaru asked nonchalantly as he came to Rin's side, placing his arm around her waist. He could sense his brother's anger the moment it came on.
"Naraku. I'm going to teach him a lesson."
"Kikyo's manager?" Rin asked, seeing Inuyasha's nod. "What happened now?"
Inuyasha's eyes darkened, his face growing serious. "He touched Kagome."
Rin was about to ask but then made an 'o' with her lips and decided not to say anything. She knew all too well the protectiveness of inuyoukai and could piece together what Inuyasha meant. Sesshomaru was not one to mess with when he got all alpha male. Even though it was very endearing and his protectiveness made her feel so special and treasured, all women want that from a man, it sometimes was a little bit too much. But she couldn't blame him. Inuyoukai were viciously protective of their mates, not one to share nor tolerate anyone touching or harming their mates. Rin had been mated to Sesshomaru for 300 years. She had seen all of him, good and bad, and knew all of his quirks. She loved him for all of who he was, even when he transformed into his demon form.
"Well... just don't let your anger get the best of you," Sesshomaru warned, knowing his brother. He urged Rin forward and the two turned to head out of the kitchen together. "Call me if you need me."
Inuyasha grunted as the two of them left him to his thoughts. He thought about Kagome. When did he not? He took out his phone and walked out of the kitchen, intending to head upstairs to finish packing and leave his parent's home. He would text Kagome, Kikyo and Naraku and then plan his next steps from there.
-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-
"Inuyasha just texted me," Kagome said, looking at her phone as she walked outside onto the balcony. Sango was sitting on one of the cushioned lounge chairs in front of a table, her laptop on her lap as she scrolled through bridal gowns. Her face came up as she looked at Kagome with wonder.
"He did?"
Kagome nodded. "He's coming back tonight. He's going to talk with Kikyo tomorrow." She knew that they had to have a talk. Inuyasha had been thinking about leaving the group. It was bad. But a small part of her was jealous, wondering what they had between the two of them but also not wanting to know. 'Ignorance is bliss. But still...'
"Huh. Well, those two need to talk it out," Sango said as her eyes went back to her screen. Kagome sat in the chair next to Sango and reached for her glass of water, her eyes taking in the city. She came over to their apartment around noon and Sango had prepared lunch for the both of them. She made two different sushi rolls for the both of them to share and teriyaki chicken. Their plates were still in front of them on the table, half eaten. The two of them were enjoying each other's company and looking through dress catalogs online for the past hour. Kagome found it so humorous and sweet to watch Sango get so excited about finding a dress. It meant that she was excited to marry Miroku.
"Hey, Sango. You and Miroku have been together for a long time, huh?"
Sango nodded, her eyes slowly going to the city in front of them as she smiled sweetly, thinking about that night they first met. "We met at one of the Fujimoto's charity events five years ago. Our parents all knew each other from the same social circle and we just got introduced to each other that night. Perhaps it was fate," she said, turning to smile at Kagome.
Kagome smiled back, seeing the love Sango had in her eyes for Miroku. "You love him."
"Very much," she said with a nod.
"When did you know?"
Sango thought about it, thinking of the night they met and how they had slowly kept in touch and that led to them hanging out and getting to know each other. Slowly, over a few months, they found themselves falling in love with each other, though she couldn't remember the exact time it happened. "I'm not sure. But I do know that it took a little while for it to happen. Miroku and I started dating a few months after we met. There were still things that he needed to change about himself and that I needed to change about myself before we could be together."
Kagome frowned, looking at her. "What do you mean?"
Sango shrugged. "Miroku used to be a huge playboy back then." Kagome's eyes widened and Sango laughed. "Yeah, not a lot of people know that about him. But he had been around the block and back again, if you know what I mean. He used to be too self-confident to the point that it would drive me insane."
Kagome giggled. "How so?"
"Well he thought he was Kami's gift to women and that he was the most sexiest man alive." Sango rolled her eyes making Kagome laugh. "I guess that's how all playboys get after women throw themselves at them and make them feel like such a great catch. Sometimes the things he would say would just turn me off and I wouldn't even want to be around him, let alone be with him. There were some moments when he would just be himself and his sweet side would come out. That was when I could really start to fall in love with him, the real him. But he needed to drop his bravado and his arrogance before I could see any future for the both of us."
"Hmmm," Kagome said, thinking about the past Sango and Miroku must've had together. She couldn't envision Miroku like that, an arrogant playboy who thought he was a catch for Sango. "I hope he didn't treat you like trash." Playboys usually did that to their 'toys'.
Sango smiled and shook her head. "No, he never did. I wouldn't let him if he did. I have too much self-respect to let any man treat me that way."
Kagome frowned, turning so that she could stare out at the city. 'Self-respect. Is that what it is?' Perhaps she lacked self-respect. Perhaps she didn't even have respect for herself to have fought for her own happiness and future.
"And I know that I wasn't perfect either. I was... hmm, how do I put it?" Sango said with a giggle. Kagome turned to look at her after the silence, curious. "I was very head strong and independent by nature. I didn't need a man to hold my hand or tell me I'm beautiful. I also did my own thing and went my own way. I never dated anyone before Miroku. I never wanted to get married. I wanted to travel the world and be on my own." Sango smiled reminiscently, turning to look at Kagome. "I was pretty mean to him too. He would try to get to my soft side but I had a rough exterior. It took me a while to realize that I was keeping him around longer than I ever thought I would let a man stick around. There was something about him, besides his good looks, that kept me wanting more of him. And so I eventually learned to let him in and we found our ways around each other."
"Did he hurt you?"
Sango nodded. "Of course. When you're vulnerable with someone, you give them the power to hurt you. Doesn't mean Miroku wanted to hurt me. But that's just what happens in a relationship. We mess up, we hurt the other person unintentionally, we cry, we fight, but we never give up on the love we feel for one another."
Kagome drank in Sango's words, taking all of her words to heart. She knew nothing about being in a relationship. And Sango was the only friend she had who was in a relationship that she could learn from and get advice from. "So... you changed who you were in order to be with him?"
Sango looked at Kagome, concerned. So many questions and Kagome sounded sad. "It wasn't so bad, Kagome. I did it because I wanted to. Not for myself, but for him. For us. Changing who I was didn't happen overnight, and I won't lie, it wasn't easy. It took time and lots of mistakes on both of our parts. But that's how relationships work. We mess up and we fix the broken pieces." Sango stared at Kagome for a long time, trying to read the girl's face but Kagome gave nothing away. She frowned, wondering what she was thinking. She had a feeling that Kagome wasn't just asking these deep questions on a whim. There was a reason why they were talking about this.
"Why?"
Sango blinked. "Sorry?"
Kagome turned to look at her, her eyes void of any emotion. "Why change for him?"
Sango tilted her head, confused. "Because I love him."
As if that was the answer to everything. "What if love isn't enough?"
Sango frowned, closing her laptop and swinging her legs over to the side, facing Kagome. She placed her laptop on the end of the chair and gave Kagome her full attention. "What's up, Kagome? Why are you asking me these questions?"
Kagome sighed, hoping that Sango wouldn't ask. She didn't know how much to tell Sango or what she could trust Sango with. But like Sango said, when you're vulnerable with someone you give them the power to hurt you.
"Inuyasha and I... we started dating."
Sango gasped and tapped her feet against the ground rapidly in her excitement. "Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you both! When?"
Kagome smiled. "Last night."
Sango gasped. "No wonder he wanted to take you home after he dropped us off!" she accused.
Kagome laughed, trying to defend him. "It wasn't like it was a part of some grand plan, Sango. We just... walked and talked and... decided to give it a chance."
Sango frowned. "Give it a chance?"
Kagome smiled sadly, turning to drape her legs over the side of her chair, just like Sango, so that they were both facing each other. "There's... a lot that he doesn't know about me."
"Of course. There's a lot to get to know of someone," Sango assured her.
Kagome shook her head slowly. "I mean... there's a lot in my past that he doesn't know. A lot of things that... I haven't told anyone. Things that I'm ashamed of."
Sango tilted her head, figuring that she would have to go slowly or else Kagome would close up. She also didn't want to push her to say anything she wasn't ready to. "Whatever those things are, Kagome, they don't define who you are now. I don't see Miroku as a playboy anymore, especially not now that he's asked me to marry him. His past doesn't define who he is anymore than it defines who you are."
Sango's words rang truth but Kagome just couldn't see how anyone could accept her if they knew her past. There were so many things that happened to her that were... less than honorable. Anyone who knew that part of her would be disgusted. Why would Inuyasha be any different?
"Listen, Kagome..." Sango said, reaching for her hand and grabbing both of them with her own. "I don't know much about you. But what I do know... I know that you are a kind and sweet woman. You have a sass to you," she said, making the two of them giggle, "and I see that especially when you dance. You are passionate and you are kind and you are such a joy to be around." Kagome smiled thankfully at Sango. "I love hanging out with you. And I want to have a relationship with you. I don't know anything about your past but that doesn't stop me from being your friend or from liking who you are now. It has nothing to do with who you are now."
Kagome sighed, smiling at Sango. "Thanks, Sango." 'If only you knew...' "I think I just need to talk to Inuyasha about some things."
"And that I will agree on," Sango confirmed. "If you two are working on being together, then there can't be any secrets between you two. Because those secrets will come out now or later, and I know for me, I would rather control when it comes out and have it come out of my mouth than for Miroku to have heard it or seen it from somewhere besides me."
Sango did have a good point, which only made her worry about Inuyasha not only finding out about her past with Koga but also about her job at Midnite. What would he think of her if he found out she was a gentleman's girl? None of them found out when they did a background check on her. Onigumo's power assured her that she was protected, that no one would find out about her past even if they tried to dig it up. But power can only go so far as the wielder. She wasn't sure how powerful the Fujimoto family was and if they could go deeper and find out everything she tried to destroy about who she was.
"Hey. You girls having fun out here?"
Both of them turned as Miroku came out of the house to check on them. Sango released Kagome's hands and smiled up at him as Miroku came to sit down next to her on her lounge chair.
"You two still looking at dresses?"
"Yes. And you can't be here while we look at them," Sango scolded, though she had no anger in her voice. She gave him a kiss on his cheek and Miroku wrapped his arm around her, bringing her into him.
"What do you think, Kagome? Anything stand out to you?"
Kagome looked at Miroku and shrugged with a smile. "We found a lot of good ones. And Sango found a lot that she likes and can't narrow down." Sango laughed and told Miroku about all the websites they visited within the hour that Kagome had been here. Miroku couldn't believe how many dresses they found and drooled over in such a short amount of time. He left them at it and encouraged Sango to keep searching until she found her dream dress.
-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-
Inuyasha walked into the recording studio and closed the door as the sound of Kikyo's voice came through the speakers in the walls. The walls were padded, purple leather. On the right side of the door was a purple leather couch with a table in front of it that was now littered with paperwork. Akari looked up as he walked in, smiling at him in welcome, and then went right back to typing away on her laptop. On his left was the huge multitrack mixing console that lined most of the entire glass wall. The desk was riddle with buttons, switches and glowing lights, some moving up and down either to the sound of the beat or to the sound of Kikyo's voice. Every button controlled something that only the trained eye would know how to operate. Two men sat at the chairs in front of the huge console and were watching one of the three monitor screens that showed all sorts of lines and bars with colors. There were small studio speakers mounted on the top of the console and bigger ones in the wall above the console, on either side of the glass wall. Inuyasha looked through and watched as Kikyo sang into the microphone that came down from the ceiling above. The vocal booth she was in was on the left side of the glass in front of them, big enough to hold up to five people if they were to sing at the same time. On the right side of the glass was the live room for bands with instruments and microphones scattered throughout the studio floor. Kikyo stood facing them through the glass, closing her eyes as she sang with headphones over one ear. She wore a yellow dress and had her hair up in a ponytail. He sighed and turned to head over to the couch.
"Is this part of the new album?" he asked, sitting down at the end of the couch. Akari nodded and stopped working, giving him her full attention. She sat in the middle of the couch in front of all the scattered paperwork.
"Yes. This is the first we started recording. The label wanted her to start recording whatever songs she's written so far. They also want to get their songwriters to help her write the rest of the songs for the new album."
"Why the rush?"
Akari shrugged. "Toshu said it's better to start recording them now just in case Kikyo does decide to do a tour."
"Has she decided?" he asked, staring ahead at Kikyo still singing. He hadn't heard this song before, as it was one of her new ones, but he liked the beat. It was catchy and upbeat, sounding like a song about courage and self-acceptance.
Akari shook her head as she watched Kikyo too. "She hasn't. She wants to do a European tour, but Naraku doesn't think it's a good idea for her to travel so soon with Blue Lightning now picking up fame."
Inuyasha suppressed his growl at the sound of that man's name. He couldn't imagine how he was going to react when he saw the man. Just hearing his name made his demon flex. He was itching to teach Naraku a lesson.
"I told Naraku that it wouldn't be a bad idea to stay in Japan for a month or two in order to allow you and Kagome to make yourselves known around Japan. It would be good for you two to do some meet and greets or teach some dance classes. Right now, it's only under Kikyo's spotlight that you two are really known. But I know that you two can find your own footing if you went out and just showed your skills to the dance community." Akari turned to look at Inuyasha, wondering what he was thinking. "What do you think? You're already getting calls from dance companies, media outlets and other artists," she pointed out.
Inuyasha shrugged, turning to his right so he could rest his arm on the back of the couch and face her. "Yeah, that sounds good. I don't know how I feel about dancing for another artist. But I need to talk to Kikyo first before I move forward with anything. After Osaka's concert... we need to address some issues."
Akari frowned. "I heard." She closed her laptop with a sigh. "Listen, Inuyasha. I don't know much about your relationship with Kikyo, or lack thereof, and I don't know much about Kikyo's relationship with Naraku now. I choose not to get involved and I don't care to know. All I know is that there were, is, some sexual things happening between the three of you. And as you know, this kind of thing cannot happen in a work environment. You can see now that it'll cause drama in the workplace to the point where a concert might've be canceled and Kikyo's reputation ruined." Akari held up her hand with a smile, seeing as he was ready to say something. "Naraku told me. And I'm not saying it's your fault or Kikyo's or Naraku's. All of you are to blame and need to take responsibility. All I'm saying is that it's best to keep your relationships out of the workplace."
Inuyasha snickered. "Not gonna happen." He was thinking about his relationship with Kagome and he wasn't about to give her up, even if it meant losing his job. He would rather lose his job and his fame as Blue Lightning than give up Kagome.
Akari sighed, shaking her head. "Then you need to get better at talking things out with Kikyo before something like that night happens again." Kikyo stopped singing and the two men began to talk to her through her headphones, encouraging her in what she did right and telling her what she needed to work on more.
"Are you planning on staying?" Akari asked Inuyasha.
Inuyasha nodded, assuming she was talking about his employment. "I have no plans on leaving," he said, turning to look at Kikyo, her eyes already noticing he was there. "But I also have no plans on staying if she ever brings up personal issues during a work event again. She needs to know when is the right time to address things and when it's time to grow up." Kikyo spoke into the microphone, talking to the two men who told her that they were going to take an hour lunch break and come back to keep recording the song.
Kikyo took off her headphones, setting it on the music stand in front of her, and walked out of the booth, disappearing from sight. She came into the control room a moment later, her bright yellow dress lighting up the dimly lit, purple room. Her eyes fell on Inuyasha and she smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes.
"I think after lunch we'll work on this song a little more and then call it a day," one of the men said as they got up from their chairs, looking at Kikyo.
Kikyo turned to nod at them. "Okay. I want to work on that last chorus again. But we'll talk about it after lunch." The men agreed and excused themselves from the room.
Kikyo made her way towards the back of the room where the couch, chairs and table were all setup facing the glass wall. She smiled at Inuyasha, the two of them not saying anything but both of them knowing and dreading the conversation that was to come. Akari looked between the two and cleared her throat, setting her laptop down over the paperwork on the table.
"I'll leave you two to talk. I'm going to get me lunch. Do you want me to bring you two anything?" she asked as she stood, fixing her knee-length skirt and blouse.
Kikyo looked at Akari with a smile. "Can you get me a bento? Anything will do. I'll just nibble on it when you come back."
Akari nodded her head and grabbed her purse from one of the chairs, excusing herself from the room. Now it was just Inuyasha and Kikyo and the silence of the heavily insulated, soundproofed room. The lights were dim, casting a soft glow with the help of the dark purple walls around them.
"Sit, Kikyo," Inuyasha said, moving so that he could cross his left ankle on top of his right leg, facing forward. He stared at her and waited, watching as she decided whether or not if she should sit and where she should sit. He watched as her eyes darted from the couch he sat on to the chair that was closest to her, on his left. He waited for a moment, wanting her to feel comfortable wherever she was, and then she decided to sit on the chair next to him. He thought at least this way he could easily watch her and talk to her while not being right next to her. Right now, the last thing he wanted was to send the wrong signals. "Thanks for meeting with me. I know you're busy."
Kikyo frowned, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap, playing with her fingers, absentmindedly nervous. She could hear the seriousness in his voice and she had been dreading this conversation with him ever since he texted her yesterday. "You said you needed to talk." Everything that happened in Osaka seemed like a bad nightmare that hadn't gone away. She was trying to pretend that it didn't.
Inuyasha sighed, startling Kikyo out of her thoughts. She watched as he picked at his pant leg, playing with the jeans material, his face sad. She frowned, her heart beating too fast, realizing that he was having trouble with this too, almost elated but then so sad. Her emotions were not helping to keep her calm.
"What happened between us, Kikyo?" She watched as Inuyasha looked up at her with a pained expression. She nearly broke out crying. She turned her head from him, looking down at her fingers instead, nervous and unsure. She didn't understand why she felt so flustered, not knowing what to say, not knowing where to start. Here was Inuyasha, her friend, and she felt like they didn't even know each other at all. She had never felt further from being his friend than in this moment.
Inuyasha frowned, his eyes in pain as he watched Kikyo avoid looking at him. He sensed her nervousness and could hear her heart beating wildly. He could smell her fear and a small part of him was glad. He was glad that they were having this talk, that it wasn't going to be superficial, that they were going to get deep with each other. He wanted to hear what she needed to say without her spewing hurtful words at him or being jealous. He knew her well enough to know that she was only trying to protect herself from the pain. He had seen her do it in her career and he sees her doing the same thing in her friendships, not only with him but with Miroku and Sango. And he just wanted her to be open and honest with him.
"Tell me, Kikyo..." He needed to know what went wrong between them, if there was any way of salvaging their friendship or if they had to go down different paths. "What went wrong between us?"
There was a silence that stretched on for a long time. Not even the music console with its continual flashing lights made a noise. Inuyasha waited until she was ready, wanting her to feel comfortable and to speak her truth. He watched and waited, reading her body language, sensing her emotions.
Finally, Kikyo took a deep breath, biting her bottom lip before she had the strength to get words out. "I love you, Inuyasha." Inuyasha looked away just as Kikyo looked up, frowning to see that he wouldn't even look at her. "But you don't love me." It was hard saying those words out loud. To hear the reality of them, to say them in front of him, and to see the truth clearly written on his face and in his body language.
Inuyasha closed his eyes in pain, shaking his head. He should've known better. Yes, looking back on things now, of course he would've done things differently with Kikyo. Even though he had told her to expect nothing more from him but an orgasm, he should've known better. Women tended to latch on emotionally first, especially when it came to sex, although he had been lucky enough to find lots of women who didn't come with any emotional strings attached. Kikyo was not one of them. And it was his fault for letting it go so far.
"Listen, Kikyo..." He looked up and caught her eyes full of unshed tears, making him feel even more guilty for what he did to her. He sighed. "I'm sorry."
Kikyo frowned and looked down at her hands, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Sorry that you're not in love with me?" She knew he wasn't. He hadn't been all these years. And quite honestly, she wasn't sure if she was in love with him or if she just loved him. Really, though, what woman wouldn't fall in love with him?
"I'm sorry that I let things get so far," Inuyasha tried to explain. "I'm sorry that I blurred the lines between us. We shouldn't have done what we did together. It got so screwed up between us that now it's affecting our working environment."
Kikyo chanced a glance at him and saw that he was still looking at her, his golden eyes so sad that it made her heart pound at his vulnerability. They were really having a deep talk and she needed to be real with him. If they were ever going to have a shot and work out what happened between them in order to work together, let alone be friends, she would have to be honest.
"It's not all your fault, Inuyasha," Kikyo admitted. "It's my fault, too. I was a willing participant." She smiled sadly at him, amusement creeping into her eyes. "It does take two to tango, you know?"
Inuyasha's smile didn't reach his eyes, neither did hers, but they understood each other. They both had responsibility to take for fooling around together as coworkers and now it getting between them in their work.
"Can you just tell me... so I know it to be true," Kikyo said, wanting him to admit it again. "Did you ever love me?" She needed to know, to help her move on, to accept what she couldn't accept before.
Inuyasha shook his head slowly, watching her reaction. "No. I couldn't love you, Kikyo. I wasn't ready to love anyone."
"But you are now?" she asked, wondering if it was the time or the person. "Or is it that Kagome is just the one you was waiting for?"
Inuyasha's ears flicked at her question. He smiled to himself, a true, small smile that didn't go unnoticed by Kikyo. "I guess... she was the one I was waiting for."
Kikyo dabbed her tears with her fingers and wiped them on her dress, trying not to cry anymore. "Have you told her about Kiyomi?"
"No."
He said it so quickly that she knew Kiyomi would always be a hard subject for him. Of course, she knew about Kiyomi. So did Miroku and Sango. They were good friends and Inuyasha had told them about his ex-mate, or ex-girlfriend. There was no such thing as an "ex" mate in the inuyoukai race. They mated for life and it was rare for them to mate more than once in a lifetime. Although, Inuyasha's father was a rare example, their species were deeply devoted to one mate for their entire lives. And Kikyo loved that about Inuyasha. He was loyal, full of honor and he had such a loving heart, though he didn't often show it to people he didn't really know. Kiyomi had changed him into the person he is now, but Kikyo knew that it was all his walls that he put up to protect himself from being hurt again from another woman.
"To be honest... I am jealous of Kagome."
Inuyasha snickered. "You think?" He didn't mean it, he didn't want to hurt her, but it came out faster than his brain could think to stop it. Kikyo glared at him, causing a different kind of tension between the two, but they both kept their cool. There were things that needed to be said no matter how hurtful it might be.
"I don't like her," Kikyo said honestly.
"Why?" he asked, trying not to get angry in Kagome's defense.
Kikyo smiled and raised her eyebrows. "You really don't know?" She shook her head as his facial expression softened and he looked at her with compassion and pity, figuring it out. "I love you, Inuyasha. And all the things I desired from you, you easily gave them to Kagome. Easily. I had waited years for you to look at me the way you look at her, or for you to touch me the way you touch her. I see the way you dance with her, the way you look at her... you love her." Kikyo waited, watching as Inuyasha's expression didn't change, looking at her with compassion. 'He does love her.'
"I do, Kikyo," Inuyasha confessed. "I love Kagome. I loved her the minute she came in for the audition. My demon loved her and claimed her before my human side could understand and accept the emotions."
"I know... I know you love her. I saw it in you since she started working for us. You were different with her," Kikyo said, feeling both sad and like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Saying everything honestly, without yelling at one another, was the only way she was truly going to move on with her life and let him go. "I needed to come to terms with that. I wasn't ready to let you go. And I wasn't ready to accept that I never had you to begin with. So it was hard for me to like Kagome and accept her."
"You still don't like her?" he asked, curious. He needed Kikyo to like Kagome if they were going to have any working relationship. If not, it might become a toxic and tense working environment that he wouldn't want for Kagome.
Kikyo shrugged, playing with the fabric of her dress. "I like her as a dancer. She's an amazing dancer, truly she is. That day she auditioned, I knew that she was the black swan that I needed on my team. I needed to snatch her before another artist got to her. And I'm so grateful that I did and that she's mine and that the two of you have become this great duo together."
Inuyasha's ears flicked in shock, his face showing it as Kikyo looked at him with a smile. "Really, Inuyasha, I am so proud of you for what you've accomplished so far with Blue Lightning. You deserve it. You are a great choreographer and I am so lucky to have you working for me. I would never want another choreographer but you because you have such an artistic eye in your craft and the way you and Kagome dance together is truly... art." Kikyo sighed, feeling too exposed.
Kikyo stood, fixing her dress, staring down at her feet for a moment before she turned and walked towards the middle of the room. Inuyasha watched her, not wanting to say anything because he could feel she just needed some space. He didn't want her jealousy of Kagome to stop telling him things truthfully. When she let jealousy get the best of her, she only told him things out of spite, things that made him want to quit as her choreographer. He was grateful that she acknowledged him as her choreographer and for her being proud of him, whereas a week ago she had told him she 'owned' him and that if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be where he was. At least now they were getting somewhere.
Kikyo gazed down and played with her fingers, walking the length of the room parallel to him, needing to move around. She was full of emotional energy and being so close to him made her feel too raw, too exposed. "You know... she told me off in Osaka."
Inuyasha brought his left foot down, leaning forward onto his elbows, watching her slowly pace back and forth in front of him. "She told me."
Kikyo turned her head to smile at him before looking back in front of her. "She was leaving the spa of the hotel and I was going in. She stopped and called to me, wanting to find out what happened between you and I." Kikyo smiled to herself, remembering the nerve of that girl. Kagome really had guts. If she could become friends with Kagome, somehow, she knew that Kagome would be a feisty and loyal friend. "I remember she asked what happened between you and I in my dressing room and I told her that you and I were making out." She turned to her side to see him lean back against the couch, crossing his arms with a raised eyebrow. "She caught my bluff because I remember she told me that she didn't know a man who would avoid a woman after a good love session the way you did me."
Inuyasha smirked and held in his chuckle. Even Kikyo held in her laughter at the tongue on that girl. But she had to give Kagome credit for speaking her mind and standing up for herself. Kagome was definitely a good person. "Even in the midst of our bickering... she thanked me for her job and for making Blue Lightning a thing. She stood up for you and for our friendship together. She only wanted to help you and I stay friends and for us to mend our friendship again, even after I threatened her job. She stood up for you, which is something I should have done, instead of saying all those stupid things I said to you about owning you and making you."
"Kikyo..."
"Don't." She stopped long enough to turn to look at him fully. "Just let me get this out before I lose the courage to." Inuyasha didn't say anything and she took that as her cue to continue. She began to walk back and forth again slowly, the walking making it easier for her to talk and say the things she needed to say without having to look at those golden eyes of his.
"I'm sorry for all those stupid things I said to you. I didn't make you and I don't own you. I also said those things to Miroku too."
Inuyasha's eyes widened. "You did?" This was new to him.
Kikyo nodded. "He came storming into my room after you left the hotel. He said I was jealous and I got angry and I said some stupid things that I shouldn't have said to Miroku too. Miroku defended you and tried to figure out what was wrong between you and I, but I just didn't want to hear anything he had to say. He was so angry with me and he called me out for the way I treated you and Kagome in my jealousy and I got angry back. I was so angry that you had abandoned me for Kagome, that you would now have this huge brand of yours and start doing your own thing as Blue Lightning with Kagome. I was jealous..." she said softly. "I am jealous. I feel like I'm losing you," she whispered, stopping. She hugged herself, knowing that this friendship/relationship she had with Inuyasha had been so messed up that now she was losing her mind and her pride because of the way she had acted in Osaka. She didn't want to do that anymore. She didn't want to lose her friends who helped her to get where she was now.
Kikyo gasped as she felt Inuyasha's arms come around. She opened her eyes and was brought against his chest, his strong arms wrapping around her, as he brought his head down to the crook of her neck. "Kikyo..." Inuyasha whispered in her ear. "You're not going to lose me."
Kikyo's bottom lip trembled and her body jerked hard in his arms as a sob escaped, one that she had been holding in for a long time. She let herself feel it and cried in his arms. She clutched at his shirt and cried against his chest, uncaring if her makeup would be smeared. This was all she ever wanted from him: his love, his care. And he was giving it to her, but not in the way that she wanted it, only in the way he knew how to give it to her. She would take it regardless if it was what she initially wanted or not. He wasn't going to leave her. That was a huge burden that she was carrying around. She didn't want him to quit because of her or because of her anger and what happened between them in Osaka. That had been weighing her down all weekend and now it was finally settled.
"Inuyasha..." she whispered through her sobs. "I'm so sorry."
Inuyasha took a deep breath and held onto her tighter, resting his cheek on the top of her head, letting her cry. "I know. So am I." He held her as she cried and he let her, wanting her to get this out before they moved forward in anything together. He wanted this to be their last conversation about what happened. He wanted from here on out for the two of them to move on, maybe start over or start where they were before all this jealousy thing. Whatever their relationship would look like from here, he just wanted today to be the last day that Kikyo would feel this jealousy and anger towards him or towards Kagome. He couldn't have a friend who didn't accept his mate.
"Kikyo..." Inuyasha said once her sobs grew softer and her crying turned into sniffles. "I have no intention of leaving the group. We got into this together and I want to see this through by your side."
Kikyo pushed back, looking at him with shock and emotion. "You do?"
Inuyasha nodded with a smile. "Yes. We all pitched in and helped you get to where you are. We all chose to be by your side along the way and I want to remain by your side. I love what I do and I love watching you perform." He watched as her eyes lit up, making him smile. "You have a gift, Kikyo. I knew it when we first met each other. I love performing with you and working with you, even though we do have our moments and disagreements," he said with an arch of his eyebrow. Kikyo giggled softly and sniffled, moving back further as his arms slowly began to release her. "But that's what I love about our work relationship. Because we're good friends, our work relationship isn't strained and there's no bad blood between us. We only want the best for one another. I believe that's why we all work so well together, not just you and I but the entire group. We all want you to succeed and we trust that you want us to succeed by your side." Kikyo nodded her agreement, wanting that for all of them.
She couldn't believe that things had gone so wrong for them to have gotten here, but she was also thankful that it did because they wouldn't have had this talk otherwise. It needed to happen. She needed to hear many of the things he said and she needed to confess to herself the things that she knew in her heart but was too afraid to say out loud. As bad as things got between the two of them, she was happy that all this happened because now she felt like their relationship was stronger now.
"Inuyasha... I'm sorry that this happened to us."
"Don't be," he said. "It was my fault too. We shouldn't have done what we did. It was selfish of us and we were only lying to ourselves in thinking that we could. I see now that what we had was unhealthy. Especially since you were with Naraku too." He turned and headed back to the couch, needing to put some distance between them again.
Kikyo's eyes were wide as she stared at him taking a seat. "You knew? And didn't say anything?"
Inuyasha smirked and arched his eyebrow. "I'm an inu-hanyou, Kikyo. Of course I knew. I could smell him all over you and I still do. I knew you guys were hooking up and so did the others." That made Kikyo blush and she turned from him, facing the vocal booth, hiding her reactions from him. "Everyone knew, Kikyo. But I wasn't expecting anything from you. All I wanted was to get my needs met and if I had to get your needs met at the same time, I would. But I still had my limits, as you know, and I wouldn't compromise. For me, it was nothing more than a means to an end."
Kikyo frowned, her embarrassment fading away as shame took over. She knew he meant well and was telling her these things not to hurt her. But his words did hurt. She felt used. But then again, she also did the same things to him. She just wanted to get into his pants and get her needs met too, even if she fell in love with him down the line. "We never had sex."
Inuyasha arched his eyebrow. "Really?" he asked, wondering why she would lie to him now.
"You and I," Kikyo clarified. "We never had sex. You and I both wanted the same thing, but for me it just got too... attached." To be honest, she remembered after they had their quickies, it was very dry and cold after. There was no intimacy, no holding each other and no words being exchanged. It was very methodical and cold. Of course, now she could see it that way. She had been lying to herself in thinking that he was showing her love during those times.
"Kikyo," he called, sensing her retreating into her thoughts. "Don't overthink it. You and I just needed each other to fulfill a need. You also had Naraku to fulfill your needs, and whatever happens between the two of you is your business." He crossed his arms, crossing his right ankle up onto his left knee. "But I will have a word with Naraku. I don't think you should keep him anymore, Kikyo."
Kikyo turned around quickly, staring at him in disbelief. "Why?"
"Because I heard what he did to Kagome."
Kikyo could see his body language change, he was tense and controlled but she knew that he must be furious. "I know." Inuyasha's ears flicked and she began to head back to the chair next to him, sitting down with a sigh. "Kagome told me about it."
"What did she tell you?" Now he was curiously mad as to why he hadn't heard any of this when everyone else seemed to have known before him.
Kikyo gazed at him, gauging his reaction as she knew it was going to set him off. "Kagome told me at the spa that Naraku had hit on her in Hawai'i and that night in the onsen. But I didn't want to believe that another man of mine was also into her." Inuyasha's face became stoic, making her wonder if she should've told Miroku or Sango.
"So this wasn't his first time?" he asked softly, slowly, letting that fact sink in.
Kikyo shook her head, now worried for Naraku's sake. Naraku was human and she had never seen Inuyasha fight before, though she heard stories through his family of how it was for them living during the Feudal Era and the many battles and wars they lived through. She could only imagine how strong Inuyasha really was if he was using all his strength. Naraku wouldn't stand a chance. "According to Kagome, Osaka wasn't the first. Of course, I didn't want to believe her." She stopped and frowned, feeling ashamed. "Kagome was only trying to warn me of him even though she knew that I was there to go and be with him. She told me that she saw us backstage in Hawai'i going at it and she told me that I deserved better." Kikyo brought her legs up under her and crossed her arms, feeling small. "Kagome was only trying to warn me of him." She had to admit it, because she truly did like Kagome, jealousy aside, "She was trying to be a friend."
Inuyasha didn't know what to do with all that information. First, Naraku had touched Kagome before, months before this, and she or the others hadn't told him about it. Now that Naraku touched her again, no one was doing anything about it. He wasn't going to tolerate Naraku's sexual harassment, especially if it was against Kagome.
"If you're going to keep him as your manager... make sure he remembers who's in charge and what his limits are," Inuyasha said softly, making Kikyo look at him.
"He knows."
"He doesn't, Kikyo, because you've blurred the lines between the two of you," he accused. "The same way we blurred the lines between the two of us. Naraku sees himself as your equal and thinks that he can do whatever he wants, not just in dealing with your career but also in messing with everyone else as if he's in charge of us. He forgets that he's your manager, not ours. You are our manager. And the fact that he's now starting to take advantage of one of my dancers... I'm not going to put up with it, Kikyo." He really wasn't. Mostly because Kagome was his and he was protective of what was his. But also because no one should be treated that way in a work environment. If anyone on his team ever felt threatened or uncomfortable, he was sure as hell going to rectify the situation as their boss. And he hoped that Kikyo would do the same as their boss.
"I'll talk to him..."
"No, I will." He stared at her with resolve. "He'll listen to me more than to you."
Kikyo stared at his golden eyes and decided not to push him about it. She could tell that she wasn't going to get anywhere if she tried to push him about it. "Fine."
"Why do you keep him around anyway? Is it because of the sex or because of the job?" She stared at him in disbelief and then looked away, staring at the paperwork on the coffee table. Inuyasha could be so blunt and hurtful sometimes. But as she sat with her thoughts and emotions, feeling attacked and defensive all of a sudden, she tried to look at what she had with Naraku.
He was a good manager. He really was. Her father had known his parents and had introduced Naraku to her when her father knew this was what she was pursuing. Since then, Naraku had done a lot for her career and he still was. But as she thought about it more, she saw that Naraku was a comfort for her. Yes, the sex was good, she wasn't going to lie. But he was also there for her when no one else was, physically and emotionally. He was there with her in those long drives to and from business meetings or interviews. He was with her in those empty hotel rooms during all of her traveling for work and business. It got very lonely behind the scenes, after the lights and the cameras shut off and the fans go home, being a singer wasn't all peaches and cream. Not even the dance group knew of some of the things she has to do as an artist just to get her name out there and make record sales, the sacrifices she had to make for her career. And Naraku was there. Maybe she shouldn't have blurred the lines like she did with Inuyasha and now this became a tangled mess. But she couldn't deny that she had feelings for Naraku. She didn't love Naraku like she loved Inuyasha but she did depend on him and needed him.
"Both," she said, leaving it at that. Her tone of voice let Inuyasha know that she didn't want to talk about it.
Inuyasha sighed, uncrossing his arms. "Well, for whatever it's worth, Kikyo, you can do better. Kagome was right. She was only trying to look out for your best interest like I am. There's someone else out there that can do just as good of a job as he does, probably better. So if Naraku becomes too much of a problem to the work environment, you're going to have to choose between him or us." Kikyo turned to look at him in shock. "I'm not kidding. I had put up with him long enough. Even after all that he did and all that we know of his character. He raped a girl, Kikyo!" Kikyo's eyes widened at his sudden anger and was shocked at his outburst.
Inuyasha huffed in frustration, running a hand through his hair. He stood, heading to the center of the room to get away from her and to pace. "And it's only one girl we know so far. How many other women has he been with while being with you? How many women has he sexually harassed or abused? He's no good! I told you to get rid of him before!" He turned so that he could look at her, seeing that she was huddled into herself, staring at the table. "Naraku is bad news, Kikyo. What's worst is if his personal life comes out and starts affecting your public image. Maybe then you'll take this seriously. If he harasses our employees then it's our responsibilities as their boss to do something about it." He wanted her to get it through her thick skull that Naraku was becoming more and more of a problem, a problem that she didn't want to get rid of yet.
Kikyo said nothing. She couldn't defend Naraku because she knew all about his personal problems. She knew of that gang rape that Inuyasha was referring to, heck, the entire dance group knew of it because Naraku shared it with them before anyone could paint a bad picture of him. She knew that he slept around with other women, would leave her in clubs to go dance with other women or take them home. But she just told herself that what he did with them meant nothing. Truth be told, it did hurt her to be used like that. She felt like with men in general she was constantly dealt a crappy hand. She was just a shiny object for them and they for her. Kikyo frowned and closed herself off from her emotions, not wanting to go down that rabbit hole.
There was a knock on the door and they both turned to see Toshu walk into the room with the two men from the label behind him. Inuyasha felt himself resign to the fact that Kikyo just wasn't ready to hear what she needed to hear about Naraku and they had run out of time.
"Ah, Inuyasha. So good to see you again," Toshu said as he came up to Inuyasha to bow. Inuyasha bowed back respectfully.
"Good seeing you, Toshu. How was lunch?" he asked, trying to get out of the emotional conversation he just had with Kikyo and get into a lighter mood.
Toshu nodded with a smile, turning to Kikyo as well. "It was good. We left Akari in the restaurant since she's ordering lunch for you, Kikyo. She should be here soon and then we can get started again once you've had something to eat. Can I get you anything, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha shook his head, watching as Toshu turned to look at the two men who went back to the chairs in front of the music console to start up the music that they had recorded so far. Toshu was one of the managers of Kikyo's record label, Tokyo Sheet Records, one of Japan's top ten record labels. He was a very sophisticated man, always dressed in a suit, preferably black, and always conducting himself in a respectable way. Inuyasha respected him as Toshu reminded him a lot of ancient Japan. He was very down to earth and easy to talk to on top of being very business-like. He had long black hair that went down to the middle of his back that he always kept in a low ponytail.
"I'm good, thanks. I'm actually heading out. I just came to catch Kikyo during her lunch break. I gotta go do some things anyways." He excused himself and turned to Kikyo, giving her a smile and a wave. "I'll talk to you later." Kikyo smiled and nodded, watching as he turned to leave and walk out the door. She couldn't help but feel so much better that they had worked things out, that she didn't lose him and the friendship they had together, but she also felt like there were so many more issues that were brought up and unsolved. Kikyo sighed, trying to change her emotional state and get her head in the game so she could do her job for the next few hours. She stood and walked with Toshu towards the console, listening to the song that she was able to record so far, throwing herself into her work as her coping mechanism.
-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-
"Wow..." Kagome said in awe. She looked around at all the street decorations. There were huge displays of random architectures, from a golden sunflower to a pink Kirby and even to a water fountain that had multicolor balloons in the center of the fountain. She and Inuyasha were walking to have dinner together at a small restaurant that she loved to go to near her home. Inuyasha had texted her earlier today wanting to meetup tonight for dinner, which she agreed. Kagome turned to look at him and found that he was looking at her. She knew she looked like a child in a candy store because she found beauty in the small things. If it was a quaint little coffee store or a Japanese garden or architecture, like most people of her culture, she loved to be in the present and take in her surroundings with appreciation. She had learned that from an early age. No matter what was truly going on in her life, she had to learn to find the beauty in life, that there was always hope.
"I love watching you," Inuyasha said, his voice low as the two of them walked. Kagome blushed and looked straight ahead, shy. She had wanted to see him all day, ever since he texted her yesterday that he was coming back into Tokyo. She missed him. And that side of her, that needy side, was something that she had never expected to happen to her.
"Talk to me."
Kagome turned to him, smiling. "About what?"
"What are you thinking?" He just wanted to hear her voice. After a hard conversation with Kikyo earlier, he just wanted to hear Kagome's voice. He held her hand firmly, wanting that physical connection between them. There were people around them, some stopped as they took in the sights, taking selfies and photos of all the lit up lights and structures around them. But he was focused on her. He found that he loved the way she saw her surroundings. He never thought twice about those things. First of all, he was a guy. Men didn't usually see beauty the way women did. Second, he had been living for centuries and everything usually becomes a blur. But as he walked with her down the streets and now on a busy road lit up with structures and lights for the night, he saw so much joy and happiness through Kagome's eyes. She seemed to be able to see the beauty in the moment so that life didn't become a blur.
"Well..." Kagome started, a little embarrassed but wanting to be honest with him. Tit for tat, or so they had agreed early on. She was finding it easier for her to talk to him and tell him the truth, even though it did make her feel exposed and a little self-conscious. "I was just thinking how much I missed you," she said, turning to him with a smile, watching as his golden eyes lit up. She squeezed his hand and looked ahead, seeing the restaurant coming up. "I was thinking about how I never expected to be this type of a person."
"What type?" he asked, curious.
"The type of person that needs someone. I never needed anyone, ever, in my life. Like I told you, my parents didn't want me as a child and they never took care of me properly. So I had learned how to live without needing anyone to depend on. I was always independent." She stopped as they came in front of the restaurant, turning as Inuyasha stopped next to her. "I'm finding myself needing you and I'm not sure if I like that or not."
Without hesitation Inuyasha tugged her towards him and kissed her, unable to resist her, wrapping his right arm around her to hold her against him. There was complete surrender in her. Kagome brought up her left hand to run up his chest and around his neck. They kissed each other without caring who was around them passing by on the street. She lost herself in him so easily, which was not a safe thing for her.
Inuyasha broke the kiss and pulled back but kept his hold on her. He looked down and smiled at her glazed expression as she stared up at him, blushing. "You're so beautiful." He squeezed her hand and then released her, looking around to see that they had an audience. Some people had stopped and noticed them, talking amongst each other and staring at them, recognizing who they were. "I need you, Kagome. And I want you to need me too. Come. Let's go inside." He pulled her with him and they entered the establishment, waiting to be seated by the hostess.
It was a small little restaurant that was busy for the night but it had a few open tables. They were seated at a table near the back, closest to the kitchen. The restaurant was a little loud with the kitchen noise and the people that filled the small room, but not overbearingly loud where they couldn't hear each other. Inuyasha released her hand and they sat across of each other in a booth table, thanking the hostess who left them their menus.
"I was thinking how I love watching you," Inuyasha shared even though she didn't ask. He was getting used to this talking and sharing back and forth. At first it was only to get Kagome to trust him and to talk more. Now, he just loved doing it because he wanted her to know everything about him and he wanted her to know how much he loved her. She meant more to him than she realized and he was trying to get her to see that. "The way you see the world and the way you looked at those sculptures and architectures outside made me feel the joy and happiness that you felt. It was spilling off you and it was contagious. I just never saw those things in the same way you see them."
Kagome bit her bottom lip with a cheeky smile. "Are you getting soft, Yasha?" she teased, grabbing the menu to tap the bottom edge down on the table.
Inuyasha blew air, dismissing her tease. "I'm not soft." Kagome laughed and shook her head, making him chuckle with her. The two of them looked over the menu and decided to get a few dishes to share. The waitress came back to take their order and Kagome ordered miso soup, gyoza and sushi while Inuyasha ordered edamame, udon and ramen. "The ramen is mine," he declared as the waitress smiled with a bow, excusing herself from the table.
"What is it with you and ramen?" Kagome asked him with a giggle.
Inuyasha shrugged and leaned back. "I just love it. I remember when the thing first came into existence. I ordered every single flavor there was and then stocked up on my favorite ones." Kagome laughed and he smiled. "I was living with my parents at the time and our kitchen was always stocked with ramen. Our chef would always make sure that we never went down to one ramen box in our house."
"I bet you kept your chef busy at the grocery store."
Inuyasha shrugged. "That's what we paid him for. He bought them in bulk and would always buy them if needed whenever he went to the store."
Kagome just shook her head with a smile, thinking about what it must've been like for him to grow up. From that story, it did sound like he was very rich and had everything that he ever needed. She stared at the table, running her index finger along the lines of the decor. "Udon was my favorite dish as a child. I remember, when I made enough money for it, I would go to this small, family-owned restaurant where the wife always took pity on me. She would give me a bowl of udon for free, but I always forced her to take the money I had for it. And as dirty as I was, she always would let me sit in her restaurant until I finished it." Kagome smiled, reminiscing of those days that she tried so hard to forget. She rarely thought about her past because she would always get emotional about it. There was nothing good in looking back at her past. But with Inuyasha, he wanted to know, and she had the courage to look back for his sake. He gave her the strength to look back at what she had gone through and to share it with him without feeling judged or dirty. He simply listened and didn't see her as that starving, homeless, neglected little girl. He accepted her for who she was. "Udon became my favorite meal because of that woman." Kagome looked at the people in the restaurant with a far-off look. "I wonder if she's still alive..."
The sounds of the restaurant and the conversations made her think about Shikoku Island and how much it had changed since she had left almost ten years ago. She wondered about the different houses and homeless camps, if they were still there or if the government had kicked them out and torn everything down to build something new.
Inuyasha placed his hand on top of Kagome's, snapping her out of her thoughts as she turned to look at him. "How long has it been since you've been back home?"
Kagome frowned and looked away. "Shikoku is not my home. It never was."
Inuyasha nodded, grabbing her hand now and gently squeezing it. "Okay. How long has it been since you've been back there?"
Kagome shrugged, feeling comforted as his thumb kept caressing the back of her hand. She focused her attention on the feel of his thumb sliding back and forth. "It's been almost ten years."
"Did you ever want to go back?"
"No."
She said it so fast that he knew this was something that she wasn't going to talk about. "Because of your mother?"
Kagome shook her head, frowning. This, this she would not tell him. She could not. At least... not yet anyway. She wanted to be as selfish as she could with Inuyasha. She couldn't tell him that it was because he lived there. "I can't." She nearly died trying to get off of Shikoku Island. She would never think to willingly go back there.
"Can't go back?"
Kagome shook her head again, not wanting him to press anymore. "I can't talk about it."
He heard her heart speed up and could sense her reluctance. "Is that where he lives?" Kagome said nothing but that was all he needed. He sighed and released her hand, making her look up at him with worry. Inuyasha smiled at her reassuringly. "So I talked to Kikyo today."
Kagome blinked, taken off guard by his change of subject. He either didn't want to talk about it anymore for her sake or because he knew she wouldn't give him anything more and he was disappointed. She frowned, trying to latch on to what he just said. "You talked to Kikyo today?" she asked, letting the topic go.
"Yeah." He turned as the waitress came to drop of waters and their drinks, then told them that their food would be out in a couple of minutes, excusing herself from their table. Inuyasha shrugged as he looked at Kagome, drumming his fingers on the table. "She told me about what happened between the two of you in Osaka and apparently she also had a conversation with Miroku about the same thing." Kagome's eyes widened, wondering who else confronted Kikyo about what happened at the concert and whatever else people had noticed. "Kikyo..." he sighed, not wanting to make excuses for her but wanting Kagome to understand Kikyo. "Kikyo just has some issues that she isn't wanting to deal with yet. But she did recognize that you were only trying to warn her and help her. She just couldn't see past her jealousy of you to even want to listen to you."
"Jealousy?" Kagome snickered. "I knew she was jealous of me but I really don't know why. She's my boss. I told her that I work for her and that I only got my fame because of her. Without her, I would be nothing."
"That's where you're wrong, Kagome." Inuyasha stared at her, trying to get her to see herself for all her worth. "You would've gotten to where you are now even without Kikyo. Even without me. You have such a natural talent and you captivate your audience with your dance style because you give your all. They see the way you express yourself in dance and that's what makes them fall in love with the song and the artist. Kikyo knows this and that was one reason why she's jealous of you and how far you've come, and where you and I can go now as Blue Lightning."
"One reason?" she asked, curious. "She's jealous because of me and you, isn't she?"
Inuyasha shrugged. "She is. And I told her."
"She knows?" she asked, shocked.
Inuyasha chuckled. "Of course Kikyo knows. She probably had suspicions before but now she knows the truth. She's our boss and she's my friend." Kagome watched him without showing too much expression. She always had been curious as to their relationship together and she really wanted to hear it from him. "I told Kikyo that I loved you and she knew." Kagome's eyes widened at his declaration and a small smile formed, truly amazed as to how open and vulnerable he was about her. She would never get enough of how matter-of-fact he said that he loved her and was telling everyone about it. "That's why she had such a hard time with you, and me being with you, because she was jealous of how I felt towards you. She could see it when you first started working with us. But she finally admitted that she had to come to terms with the fact that she never had me to begin with and that was a truth that she never let herself believe."
The waitress came back with another helper and they were served all of their dishes and small side bowls. The center of the table was full of bowls and plates with delicious looking and smelling food. Kagome's mouth watered and the waitress bowed and left them to eat.
"This looks delicious!" she said, distracted from their conversation by the food. She looked up at Inuyasha and clapped her hands together. "Itadakimasu!" Inuyasha did the same with a smile at her enthusiasm and the both of them grabbed their chopsticks and began to pick at all the many food they had in front of them, creating a small bowl for them to munch on little by little. Kagome stuck a sushi in her mouth, moaning at the taste. "So good..."
Inuyasha chuckled and shook his head, starting with his ramen first before trying some of the edamame and sushi. "You were obviously hungry."
Kagome did a little jig in her seat. "I didn't know I was so hungry," she said with a giggle. She went for a gyoza and moaned at the taste. "I love this restaurant."
"I can tell," he commented and laughed at her, making her stick her tongue out at him. The two of them kept eating, trying out everything first before they settled down for a more leisurely pace.
"So... tell me about your relationship with Kikyo," Kagome said hesitantly, but wanting to know.
Inuyasha looked at her, shocked, wondering where this was coming from. "I told you that there was nothing between Kikyo and I." He ate his ramen bowl but his eyes remained on her.
Kagome nodded. "I know you said that. But I also know, as a woman, that Kikyo thought there was something there. She wouldn't have thought there was something there without a reason for there to be." Inuyasha rolled his eyes at a woman's wisdom and their way with words. "Yasha... tell me. I need to know what happened between you two."
"I don't think it's a table conversation." But Kagome just stared at him expectantly, wanting to hear it anyway.
He didn't say. He just kept eating his ramen, not knowing that their conversation was going to go like this. He didn't want to tell Kagome of his mistakes with Kikyo. But he knew she would've found out even if he didn't tell her. He was surprised that she still didn't know, although he was sure that she had her suspicions. Inuyasha sat up, chewing on the rest of his ramen and then looked at her, giving her his full attention. Since she wasn't eating, he figured she would sit there and wait for him to say something. He sighed heavily, defeated.
"Kikyo and I were just friends when we first met. When we all started our career together, it was only natural for us to get closer. Miroku and Sango hit it off the moment they met each other at my parent's charity event. I don't know..." he shrugged, "maybe Kikyo and I were just lonely or maybe we felt left out and we were both single." Inuyasha sighed, not liking the fact of having to tell Kagome about this. He didn't want to hurt her and he also didn't want her to know that he was a no good playboy. "Kikyo and I... we ended up hooking up while we remained friends."
"Friends with benefits?" Kagome asked with no inflection in her voice. He nodded, watching her every reaction.
"I told Kikyo that all I wanted from her was to get off. We both agreed that we would expect nothing more from this. We both came to each other when we needed it but that was it." She didn't react to anything he was saying but he could hear her heart beat accelerating and he could sense her nervousness.
"So..." Kagome said, trying not to get affected by what he was saying. She had to place her bowl down because she felt her hands shaking for some odd reason. "The two of you only agreed to sleep with each other when you both needed to get off?"
Inuyasha shook his head. "No. We never slept together."
"But you said..."
"I said we hooked up and got off. Doesn't mean we had sex." He watched as it dawned on her as to what he was talking about.
"So... you both just did oral together?"
Inuyasha sighed, looking away from her eyes. Kagome obviously had no problem talking about sex at a dinner table, in a public setting, about their lover's old sex life. "Yeah."
Kagome nodded her head, letting it all sink in. She had just wanted to know the truth and not have her own thoughts and imaginations about the two run wild. The truth was better than what her imagination had conjured up, but it did hurt. And because she was so needy of him and loved him, it hurt her to know that he had been with Kikyo so intimately like that. Of course, this was all before she knew him so she had no reason to be jealous or angry. "Were you two seeing each other when I got hired?"
Inuyasha shook his head. "No. I ended it a few years ago. I didn't want to keep doing that to her and I didn't want to be with her like that if she was going to be with Naraku," he said with disgust.
Kagome shook her head at the absurdity of this all. "Inuyasha..." she started but then stopped herself. She was too emotional about it but all of this was just... ridiculous. This... love triangle was more complicated than she thought. "There was a weird triangle between the three of you."
Inuyasha shook his head. "No triangle. Kikyo knew what I wanted from her and what I wasn't going to give her. She knew and she expected nothing from me either."
Kagome chuckled, placing her chopsticks onto her bowl, leaning back into the seat with a sad look. "Inuyasha, you really don't understand women, do you? You can't expect a woman to not fall in love with you, especially when sex is involved."
He turned from her, staring down at the table. She saw him in a different way than he saw himself, and he wasn't sure if he could agree with her. Kagome reached over the bowls and grabbed his hand that rested against the ramen bowl, squeezing it reassuringly as he turned to look at her.
"Really, Yasha... you don't know your worth."
"Neither do you," he said without hesitation. How strange that they both would love each other and not see their own worth in themselves but that they saw each other's worth instead. Inuyasha shook his head and smiled at the irony of it. Kagome released his hand and leaned back into her seat.
"So you and Kikyo were together at the same time she and Naraku were together?"
Inuyasha nodded. "I knew they were hooking up because I could smell him all over her. When I first did, I told Kikyo to break it off. But she wouldn't listen. Naraku gave her more than I could and she wanted what I couldn't give her. So I ended our 'thing' together and she continued with Naraku. I think a part was to spite me or make me jealous while another part was for her own self and comfort."
"And she knows about Naraku?"
Inuyasha nodded. "She knows about all the charges and the cases and the rapes and all that crap," he said disgustingly. "But that didn't come until after they hooked up together. And still... she still decided to stay with him." He growled. Kikyo deserved so much better than that disgusting rapist. He despised the fact that Kikyo wouldn't leave Naraku and the fact that he couldn't do a damn thing about it. Kikyo kept Naraku around both for work and for pleasure.
Kagome took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm sure that Kikyo will make her decision now that she has been so open with you." What else could she say? All of this sounded so messed up that she just didn't want to go any deeper than what he already told her. "Thank you for sharing that with me." She went for her bowl and chopsticks and began to go back to eating, trying to find her appetite again after that conversation.
Inuyasha's ears twitched as he stared at her for a bit. "How do you feel about what I just said?" He wondered what she was thinking, what she thought about him. He didn't care about what she thought about Kikyo or Naraku. What he cared about was how she saw him now that she knew that he used a woman to get himself off. 'Women' he thought to himself. That would be another conversation for another day.
Kagome frowned, chewing and swallowing the sushi. "Honestly... whatever happened with you and Kikyo... whatever happened in your past, is your past." She had no right to judge him on his past and she wouldn't want to because she would want the same treatment from him. She didn't want him to judge her on her past or see her any differently because of what she did or what was done to her. "I wouldn't want to be judged on my past either. I think the past should stay that way. It made us into who we are today but it shouldn't have control over us and what we can be." If only she would take her own advice sometimes.
Inuyasha listened and watched her, knowing there was a far deeper reason for her to say that. "You don't want me to judge you on something you did in your past."
Kagome shrugged and went for another sushi, dipping it in soy sauce. "I told you, there's a lot of things in my past that you don't know about. Things that would... disgust you..." She placed the sushi in her mouth, unable to look at him.
"What?" Inuyasha recoiled back. "I won't be disgusted, Kagome. I told you before that nothing you say would make me like you any less. I love you."
Kagome smiled sadly at him and nodded. "I know you do." 'Sometimes love isn't enough, Yasha...' "The sushi is so good."
She was cutting him out. Inuyasha frowned, trying to gauge her emotions and figure out what was going on in her mind. He couldn't reach her if she wouldn't let him in. And right now, she was cutting him out and changing the conversation. But he wasn't going to let that happen.
"What will I be disgusted about?" he asked, continuing with his ramen. He was going to try his best to be patient with her and give her the time she needed to trust him enough to tell him everything. But he just wasn't sure how long he could wait.
Kagome smiled and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"I didn't want to talk about Kikyo and yet you forced me to."
Kagome blinked. He was short. He was angry. Even though he focused on his ramen bowl, she knew that he was frustrated. What a change this dinner and night had turned out to be. "I didn't force you to talk about Kikyo."
"But you wanted to know and I told you." Inuyasha looked up, placing his bowl down, staring at her. "That's how relationships work, Kagome. You give and you take. I gave you something that you needed to know and I'm taking your trust that you won't hold my past against me. Now when I ask you of something that I need to know... you shut me out," he accused her.
Kagome frowned and placed her bowl down, looking to the side. She stared at the decor on the wall. The kitchen was right on the other side, making all the noises that the patrons could hear. She didn't want to talk about that part of her. He would treat her differently, she knows he would. If he found out the things about her that she kept hidden from the world, or even if he found out she was working at Midnite, he would think less of her and break it off. What man would allow his woman to work at a gentleman's club? What man would want to be with a woman who had been in an abusive relationship and has been running from her ex for ten years? She came with a lot of baggage. She would be a dead weight for him.
Kagome didn't say anything as she went right back to eating. And the both of them continued to eat in silence. The air was filled with tension. 'Is this our first fight?' she wondered, her thoughts running wild. She wondered what she would say to him, if she could tell him the truth or a watered down version of it. She wondered what he was thinking, if he thought less of her or was mad at her after he had opened up and she hadn't. This night had turned out horrible.
The waitress came back to their table and Inuyasha asked for the bill. He paid for their dinner and the two of them left the small restaurant different from how they entered it. The city street was still a little busy as it was Shinjuku. People were still sight-seeing with all the city lights and doing some shopping. People walked past them with bags from retail stores, many of them talking amongst themselves, some of them noticing who they were.
Kagome paid no mind to anyone around them, still getting used to being known and recognized on the streets. She was solely focused on Inuyasha. He walked a couple steps in front of her and she knew that he was still angry at her for not answering his question when he had answered hers. 'What should I say?' she thought, trying to figure out how she could tell him. There was so much about herself and her past that he would be disgusted about. Where was she to start? It was overwhelming to think about it and as they continued walking down the street, with the cars passing next to them, she figured that she would start with Koga. Something small about him since Inuyasha already knew about Koga, but not his name. She was sure that with Inuyasha's name and his family's reputation that he would know Koga somehow. If Inuyasha was about 250 years old, he had to have heard of Koga Nakashima, right?
They got to back to the small square where all the art and architecture were displayed in colored lights, beautifully lit up. There were people sitting around the structures or even sitting around the balloon water fountain. There were lights in the water that shone on the water that came out of each colored balloon.
Kagome steeled herself and walked up towards him, grabbing onto his arm. Inuyasha stilled but kept walking, not casting a glance at her but also not shrugging her off. She frowned. "Let's talk." She urged him towards the steps that led up to one of the buildings in the square. Some people were already sitting along the long staircase, but Inuyasha obliged her and let her lead the way. They walked up a few flights to find a better spot where people around them wouldn't hear their conversation, and sat down. She plastered herself next to him, needing the comfort of his body before she got into a hard topic for her
Kagome looked down at the people sitting all around the square, most of them lovers, sitting next to each other and touching each other affectionately. Everyone was lost in their own world, taking in the night air and the sights around them before they called it a day.
She turned to look at Inuyasha, seeing his pensive, far-off look. "Inuyasha..." she said softly, sadly. "There are things about me that you just wouldn't understand."
"Listen, Kagome..." Inuyasha started, frustrated and sad, his emotions getting the best of him as he was trying to gather his words without hurting her. "Don't tell me what I can and can't understand."
Kagome reared back a little, shocked at his directness. Inuyasha turned to look at her, shaking his head. "You can't tell me what I can handle. You can't tell me that I'll be disgusted. You don't know how I'm going to react or what I'm thinking. You're using me as an excuse not to tell me. You think you're protecting me... but you're only pushing me away..."
She felt like he punched her in the gut. She slowly released him and moved to put some distance between them, now feeling awkward and uncomfortable around him. 'He's right.' Of course he was right. Who was she to say he would be disgusted with her? She doesn't know how he feels about her or how he would feel when he found out. Not even he would know how he would respond, even though he thinks he would love her through it.
Kagome sighed, placing her elbows on her knees to clasp her hands together. "Yasha..." she said sadly, staring at the people. "Love is different for everyone. You say you love me and I say 'I love you too'. But really... your love might be different from my love. So how do we really know if love will keep us together?" she asked him with a sad smile. Inuyasha turned to look at her, confused as to where she was going with this. He decided not to say anything, just in case he said something that he would regret or that would make her close herself off again. He sat there, missing her body against his, but also needing the space himself to think through his thoughts and emotions.
"My ex also told me he loved me..." she said, remembering Koga's words like it was yesterday. The deep timber of his voice. The softness of his lips against her temple as he whispered how much he loved her over and over again, usually when they were having sex. Kagome blinked, looking around at the open space and all the people, focusing on the present. This would be the safest place to tell him since they were out in public and he would have to watch his reaction. But it was also because it was on her heart to tell him now. She might never have the strength again to tell him.
"Love can mean different things for different people... and for me... love was always... twisted." She stared at the steps below them, recalling the images in her head, allowing herself to relive the moment as if she was a fly on the wall, watching herself with Koga. "The first time he raped me, I was 18 years old."
Inuyasha saw red. He shut his eyes, feeling his demon blood roaring for control. He let out a growl, unable to contain it, and felt his entire body grow hot. 'Damn!'
"Inuyasha?" Kagome looked at him and saw demon markings appear on his face. His eyes were closed tight and it looked like he was in pain but the purple lightning stripe was clearly evident on both of his cheeks, much like his father's. 'Oh no! Maybe this wasn't a good idea!' Now she started to get worried. She reached for him, placing her hand on his arm closest to her, feeling his arm warm to her touch. "Inuyasha?"
"Give me a minute..." he said, his voice deeper. When he spoke, she could she his fangs were longer than it usually is. 'He's transforming!'
"Inuyasha... you can't transform here," she said softly. She looked around, worried for him. She didn't want the world to see Inuyasha as a full-fledge demon. Japan was still split in their beliefs and many didn't have the gift of sight to see demons. Still, she worried for him and for his reputation if he did lose his cool here in the open city.
"I'm fine. Just give me a second." He was trying hard to calm his demon and her touch wasn't helping. "Just... don't touch me. Please."
Kagome immediately recoiled, her eyes burning with tears. 'He's... rejecting me.' The thought made her sick. She stood immediately, refusing to allow herself to cry here, and decided to head home before she lost it. "I'm sorry for telling you."
Inuyasha growled and stood, grabbing her hand as she took a step down. "Dammit, Kagome! Give me a damn second!" He turned her around to see that she was crying.
Kagome's eyes widened as she looked at him. His eyes were red, not the golden hues that she loved and adored. The demonic markings were on his cheeks, obviously an inuyoukai trademark as both his father and brother had them and they were full-fledge demons. She looked down where he grabbed her wrist to see that his nails had elongated into what she assumed were claws. Inuyasha had transformed right in front of her eyes because of what she told him. He couldn't even stand her touching him.
Kagome turned her head from him, pulling her hand from him to get him to let her go. "Please, Inuyasha. Please let me go."
His grip only tightened and he pulled her with him, his strength much stronger than hers. She tried to fight for a second or two, but there was nothing she could do and she knew it. She knew what it was like to fight against a demon. She surrendered.
"It's too public here," he said, grateful that Totosai had created the rosary necklace. The rosary was connected to his jyaki. Not only did it help him survive in this loud era with all its lights and sounds, but it also helped with his physical features against those who didn't believe in demons and priestesses and all things supernatural. Right now, he needed all the help he could get. He was losing his mind. But what surprised him is how he hadn't lost his mind at all.
Inuyasha took them to the side of the building closest to them, walking up the rest of the stairs away from the square, and to the side of the building where there were less lights and no people. He didn't know if there were cameras around but he didn't care. Right now his focus was on his demon blood and Kagome. He brought her against the wall and caged her in with both arms on the sides of her, wanting her to stay while he controlled his demon blood. He took in a breath and breathed in her scent, so close, and it dawned on him then. All the other times his demon blood took over like this, it meant that he lost his mind to it. He lost all sense and would go into a bloodthirsty rage with only the animalistic instinct of his demon that controlled his body. His father and brother were always there when it happened so they were able to help knock him unconscious or give him his father's fang sword that was made to suppress the demon blood. But right now, he had neither of the three with him. The first thing he realized, however, when he felt his body grow hot and the transformation take hold of him was that he was fully conscious of it all. And he was still fully alert while his demon was also fully aware and alert, lurking beneath the surface, waiting to kill anything or anyone who would dare hurt Kagome.
'Kagome...' Her scent was a balm to his soul, a rosary that bound his demon and suppressed it. He might have been fully transformed, but he hadn't lost his mind. It was like he and his demon were in the same body at the same time, both consciousness aware of the other.
"Inuyasha, please. Let me go." She shut her eyes, being so close to him. She wasn't afraid of him, even though she knew he could kill her in an instant with no one being able to stop him or witness it. She knew she couldn't fight him even if she tried because she tried fighting demons many times before. She didn't know what he wanted from her or why he wanted her to stay. Inuyasha made no movement. His stillness only pained her even more and the tears that she held in began to fall. "I told you..." she said, crying. "I told you... you would be disgusted."
Inuyasha brought his head down into the crook of her neck, resting his forehead against where her neck met her shoulder. She stared up at the building across from them, seeing his silver hair in her periphery. He sagged against her, his body coming closer to hers but not touching. She sniffed and quickly brought her hands up against his chest, keeping him away.
"Don't push me away, Kagome." She blinked and stilled, confused and hurt. "Your scent... it calms me. Don't push me away. Let me control my demon blood and then we can talk."
Kagome bit her bottom lip and cried. She cried because she wanted to leave. She cried because she regretted telling him and now he wouldn't be able to look at her. She would have to quit this job if her own boss couldn't even stand being around her. But now that he knew, how was she to work with him, let alone be his girlfriend, now that he knew something that no one knew. Well, only Onigumo knew about her relationship with Koga because he helped to protect her from him. No one else knew. How could she show her face around Inuyasha again after he rejected her?
"Inuyasha..."
"You said 'the first time'."
"What?" she asked, confused.
"You said it was the first time he raped you. How many times did he rape you?"
She listened to his voice. It was raspier than normal, deeper. It brought a feeling to her that disgusted her, especially considering the conversation they were having. Inuyasha knew, too, because she could hear him take a deep inhale, nuzzling his nose against her neck. She was turned on. She clutched at his shirt and tried to push against him with all of her might, but he didn't budge.
"Are you turned on because of the rape?"
She flinched back against the wall, disgusted that he thought that of her. She was frozen still, her body betraying her the same way that it did with Koga. She was disgusted with herself, with him, with the entire world. "No."
Inuyasha groaned, running his nose against her neck. "Why are you turned on?" Kami, he loved the way she smelled. Her arousal was like sweet honey, sweet like flowers but richer and spicier. He wanted to taste her to see if his suspicions were correct. He couldn't stop his body's reactions when his mate was calling to him. "Tell me why you're turn on." She wouldn't know he was turned on because his body wasn't against hers.
"Because... you."
"What about me?"
"Your voice..."
"My voice turns you on?"
"Yes," she whispered, ashamed and disgusted. Her body was obviously turned on by any and all men, even those who said they loved her but treated her differently. She couldn't trust her body with no one. This was why she loved working at Midnite. This was why she always needed to be in control of a man and to never have them be in control of her again.
Inuyasha moaned. "Good." He didn't know what he would do if she was turned on because of the rape. He would probably have lost his mind and his demon would've taken over, for sure. He felt his body heat get cooler and his demon blood slowly calm. It was her scent and her arousal that tamed it. After a few moments, Inuyasha pushed back so that his head came up to look at her. His eyes widened. Tears were streaming down her face. Her face was flushed and her lips were parted from all her crying. Kagome's eyes widened as she looked at him, surprised to see his golden eyes staring at her. And he couldn't help himself. He kept his eyes on hers as he brought his lips to hers, making sure she was with him, that she knew she could stop him if she wanted to. But she didn't.
Kagome felt his lips touch hers and her world shifted beneath her feet. She was the first to deepen the kiss. Inuyasha moaned at her intensity and she grabbed at him, bringing her hands up around his neck to pull him closer against her body. She felt his body's reaction to her and it only fueled her desire for him even more. She wanted him. She wanted him now.
"Stop, Kagome," Inuyasha said, pulling back.
"Why?" she asked, planting kisses as he pulled away from her. His hands came to her shoulders to hold her back against the wall as he put space between them. She immediately felt rejected. "Let me go!" she said roughly.
He looked at her confused as to her sudden change. "Why? Why do you want to leave?"
"I want to go home."
"We're not done talking."
"We are!" Kagome's blue eyes were on fire, turning into a darker shade of blue, especially in the night. It almost looked like midnight, but he could see the hues of blue. Her anger only fed his own.
"I'm not letting you leave after you just told me that someone raped you."
"It wasn't 'someone', Inuyasha. It was... my ex," she said, frustrated. "And you don't want anything to do with me so let me go home." She felt another round of tears starting to bubble up, affecting her speech, but she didn't want to cry in front of him again. She didn't want to lose all of her dignity.
"Wait, who said I wanted nothing to do with you?" he asked, now angry because of what she was saying. "I didn't say that."
"No, but you didn't want me touching you after I told you."
Inuyasha huffed, shaking her. "That's because I was transforming and didn't want to lose my shit. I didn't want you touching me in case I hurt you."
"Well you obviously did!"
"Kagome, listen to me," he said, not wanting to let go of her in fear that she would bolt. "I didn't want you touching me because I didn't want to hurt you. Normally, when I transform, I lose my consciousness and my demon blood takes over my mind and body. I become a bloodthirsty demon. I have no sense of right or wrong and I literally black out until I get tired or someone knocks me out. When I come to my senses, I'm back to my normal self and I can't remember anything that happened while I was fully transformed. I turn into a mindless animal!" Kagome's eyes widened at the way he spoke about himself, in disdain and disgust, and she was shocked as to how he talked about his transformation. "I didn't want to hurt you! I... can't hurt you," he said defeatedly.
Inuyasha didn't know where they stood now. He released her now that he told her and left it up to her if she wanted to leave. He didn't know what to do or what to say. All he knew was that his woman was raped. That thought alone triggered all of his protective instincts and he found himself slowly getting lost to his demon again. This would be a trigger for him that he would have to work through or else he wouldn't be able to control the transformation if she wasn't around.
"Inuyasha..." Kagome said after a long moment, feeling like one of them had to say something. They had been standing there for a few minutes, both of them not knowing what to say or what to do. "I'm sorry I told you. I didn't mean for this to happen."
He stared at her dumbfounded. "Kagome... I wish you would've told me this sooner." He reached out to grab her hand, intertwining their fingers together. "I need to know everything about you. Even this." He brought his forehead down against hers. "Even this."
Kagome's bottom lip trembled and she shut her eyes, unable to handle the emotions that flooded her. 'He still wants me?' "You... you aren't disgusted by me?" She gasped as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his body quicker than she got her question out.
"Enough with this disgust thing. I'm sick of hearing that." He squeezed her gently, taking in her scent. "If you thought that I would leave you because of this... then you don't trust me enough."
Kagome burst out crying, grabbing onto the back of Inuyasha's shirt as she cried into him. "I'm sorry." He shushed her but allowed her to cry.
There was so much that they had to work on, both individually and together as a couple. Trust being one thing. But right now, he just wanted her to know that he wasn't going anywhere. He held her as she cried and let her cry herself out. Afterwards, she had no more energy to talk about it, which he didn't blame her. As much as he needed to know more about this ex of hers, he too needed to digest all this. Kagome had been raped. By someone who loved her. This made a lot of sense as to why she was the way she is today. Rape. Broken trust. Fear of love and men. He could see how it all made so much more sense now. He would first have a talk with Rin. Rin would know how to help him, how to help Kagome, and then he would go to Sesshomaru. Inuyasha was dead on finding out who this ex was and sending his brother's assassins to hunt the dead man down and bring the guy to him. He would be the one to kill the man. But not before he had his fun with him. Kagome deserved revenge and he would get it for her. Whoever this guy was, he would regret the day that he had hurt Kagome.
AN: LMK what you thought. Emotions. Emotions. Emotions (I know) :) I told you... there's a lot that still needs to be revealed. For the both of them. We only just broke the surface with this little talk/fight Inu/Kag had. Be back as soon as I can!
