Author's Note: Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait on this one. I know I left you guys on the edge of your seats last time. Thank you for those who kept reviewing, pushing me to get this one out. I've been busy and have been taking care of myself for the past two months. Been renting hotel rooms and just getting away from "life and responsibilities" for a few days out of both of these past two months. And that has helped me to re-evaluate my life, surround myself with healthy and fun friends, take care of myself, and be more in a positive, joyful space. With Hawai'i's cases rising, we are getting more restrictions to curb the rise, and it's just been irritating me that we're moving backwards instead of forward. Hawai'i's hotels have been seeing a lot of cancellations since our governor asked people not to visit the islands, and so I was able to get good rates and have a staycation in August and this past Monday through Wednesday at the Westin. It was nice to feel like I'm on vacation, staying at a hotel, even though I was 10mins away from home lol. So now that I'm back to reality, I wanted to update this story and write the next one with a fresh mindset.

Anyway, I hope I didn't leave you hanging for too long. I had a writer's block too with this one because I wasn't sure how "deep" I wanted to get. And something kept telling me that it wasn't time yet for Inu/Kag, that I needed to let them be vulnerable with one another and see how they accepted the other. So here's to their vulnerability. This chapter is shorter than the norm because it's all about them. I didn't want to rush through the 3 days of the engagement party week so this chapter is dedicated to Inu/Kag, not Mir/San lol. The story will continue with our engagement party for Mir/San in the next chapter. Hope you enjoy this one! Have a good weekend and here's to the last weekend of September! (How time flies...)

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Read at your own discretion- violence, child rape, abuse.

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R2R

SammyJams: Yes, my heart bleeds for Kags too. What a horrible life she had, but the growth and resilience of this woman is commendable and inspiring. Thank you for your review. I hope you like this one :)

anime-geek: Awww... yes God has a plan for all of us. It definitely is hard when you're someone stuck in what seems like a difficult situation, feeling like there's no hope and no way out and no one who cares. Kags definitely has a fighting streak in her, she always had since she had to step up and take care of herself and her parents. She's a tough one that girl. Thank you for your review. I hope you like this next one :)

susu-anon: Yes, I'm loving the relationship Kag/Rin has and how Rin can read Kags because she's had years of experience to notice when someone is abused or has demons they're dealing with. Rin is sort of like an empath (ironic, since she's mated to Sessho). But I was so happy to finally be able to write the last chapter and finally fill you guys in on a lot of what Kags has been through. It answers a lot of questions. And there's more. There's always more :) But slowly and surely, things will keep coming out. It has to. And Kags is definitely emotionally, mentally and physically scarred from her past. She doubts everyone's intentions because all she's known is pain and loneliness. So it's a natural instinct for her, but something she'll learn that she doesn't need anymore. Anyways, yes, Kumi is adorable and Kags will definitely have baby fever being around an infant, so adorable and cute. Oh- and to your second review... Yes, Kiyomi and Sai are our big contenders with our main couple. They definitely will come in and cause some drama with Inu/Kag. We'll see how strong our couple's love is for each other :) Thank you for your review. Hope you enjoy this one :)

Rosie B: I know, I know. There is a lot of back and forth, Kags doesn't seem to know what she wants. But that's because of her past. Her insecurities. People telling her and feeding her the lies that she doesn't deserve to be happy, or that life won't be any better than this, or that there aren't good people in this world. It's hard when she still lives in a world of lies and lust even now at Midnite. She can't seem to pull herself out of what she's so accustomed to living in. And that is something that she will have to learn, probably the hard way. Anyways, thanks for your review and I hope you like this next one :) PS- don't worry about the sex *hint hint* "Good things come to those who wait."

hive-chan: Oh I know. Poor Inu. And Kag. I know it seems like Kags is such a horrible person for being the way she is, but she was a victim, and she has unhealthy habits that hurt more than help (both herself and others). She just doesn't know any better. This chapter will pull at your heart strings for the both of them. The two love each other deeply and just need to let that love grow instead of keeping their guard up and running. Both of them run/hide. I think you'll like this one with a lot of what you shared in your review :) Yes, Koga has sons with Ayame. No, he didn't get Kags pregnant. Pregnancy will also come up in this chapter. ;) Thanks for this review. Enjoy!

MinxieXCX: Thanks for your review. Yes, I wanted there to be a striking difference between the background of how Kags grew up and of how Inu grew up. Obviously they come from totally different types of families. And that has bred two different types of people, along with life's circumstance and the hands that they were dealt in life. Not to say that Inu hasn't had his share of pain and heartache, which will come up in this chapter, but Kags definitely had it worse than Inu (when it's usually flipped). Oh... I wouldn't say things aren't going to be good for a while ;) You'll see. Enjoy this one!

inusitter: Thanks for your review. Yes, I wanted her to have a support system, all thanks to Inu. He's the one who gave her these friends that she now has (whether it be from having a job with the group or from being an in-law). She'll have a "family" now as opposed to never really having one all her life. A total shift for her that she needs to learn how to accept. I hope you enjoy this one :)

val-rommel: Yes, I wanted Kags to have this support system through Inu (with his family and with his friends). She just needs to accept them and let them in, which she is learning. But first, she needs to let Inu in. This chapter will hopefully answer more things and open those doors for Kags and Inu to step through together :) Thanks for your review. I hope you enjoy this one :)

Inufangirl29: Awww... thank you for binge reading my story and loving it! :) I appreciate your kind words and the fact that you love my style of writing and the storyline. Yes, I know Kags frustrated a lot of readers with her "bipolar" ways on loving Inu then not, but like you see, it's all because of her past. She doesn't know any better- really. And Inu is going to show her "better". She just needs to be open to believing that she deserves it and lets herself have it. Of course she will. The two of them just need patience along with their strong love for each other :) Thanks again for your review. I hope you like this next one :)

vanessa: LoL Your first couple sentences of your review just cracked me up. First, yes, this engagement party week is going to be the last of Kags' bipolar and dysfunctional ways. At least... to such a high degree. She still has demons and secrets that she wants to keep hidden so those will definitely throw a wrench in things later when they have to come out. But for now... the two of them are ready to be open and vulnerable with one another. And Rin definitely had a lot to do with that- with opening the door for both of them to walk through. Oh don't worry... sensual Kags is still there. You just wait when she realizes how sensual she truly is- something that will scare her coming from a past she had. Inu will bring out that "kitten" in her ;) Thanks for your review, especially the part about her deadbeat dad and parents. That brought a smile to my face even though it is a sobering and not-funny reality fact. I hope you enjoy this next one :)

xsophiex: Yes, society is cruel and evil. Not to say there aren't good people in this world and what-not. It's just a sad fact of mankind. Don't worry about reviewing late. I know I'm late in my update too :( But I'm back and I hope you like this next one. Thanks for your review!

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Inuyasha went back inside, feeling rejected, not at all happy to have left. He wanted to stay and be there for Kagome. He knew that she hadn't been herself all day, not showing up for lunch and then acting strange during dinner. He had been worried about her the entire night and couldn't get her out of his head. Her distress and anxiety had bothered him, his instincts kicking in to comfort and protect her. But when he would try, Rin was there to comfort Kagome or distract Kagome by doing some of the activities that his mother had planned for them. Rin kept Kagome engaged and distracted, but Inuyasha could tell that something was deeply bothering Kagome. It was as if she didn't want to be there with everyone, like she was there physically but mentally and emotionally she had checked out. She smiled at the right time and laughed at the right time, but he knew her smile and her laugh, and he knew she was faking it. He wanted to take her away, somewhere alone, to talk to her and find out what was wrong. When everyone got worried that Kagome hadn't come back from the bathroom, he went to find her, knowing that she had gone to be alone. It was easy to find her. All he had to do was track her scent throughout the house and he found her outside on the balcony.

And after all that was said and done out there, his head was still reeling as to what exactly happened between them. First she wanted to quit and then she tells him she loves him. Then his sister-in-law shows up and ruins the moment. He hadn't gotten any answers and they hadn't been able to talk about what happened on Saturday, or if she even wanted to talk about that. All he knew was that he got Kagome alone for five minutes and now he was kicked out, again.

"Inuyasha."

Miroku met him in the doorway of the great hall and the great room. He smiled sadly at the hanyou, taking in the guy's appearance. "What happened?" He could tell that something wasn't right. Inuyasha looked like he had too much on his mind, and Miroku had a feeling what it was.

"Nothing. Rin's out there talking with Kagome." Not him. He should be out there with Kagome, making sure she was okay.

"Kagome's okay?"

"I don't know."

Miroku nodded, turning to throw a hand on his friend's shoulder, offering him support while also walking him back to the others in the great room. The sound of chatter and laughter filled the great room. Everyone was busy looking at wedding venues and throwing out ideas for the wedding. Izayoi had her pen and pad in hand, writing everything down for Miroku and Sango to go over later in case they wanted to use any of the ideas everyone had. They were having fun offering even crazy ideas that were sure to be rejected, but got a laugh out of everyone.

"Hey. Why don't you let Rin talk with Kagome, then? It seems like Rin knows something that we don't."

"So you noticed it too, huh?" He was glad that he wasn't just being jealous or seeing things that wasn't really there. Someone else saw that Rin was staying close to Kagome.

Miroku shook his head. "Sango pointed it out since she was sitting next to Kagome at the table, but she doesn't know what they were talking about." He smiled at Sango as she looked up at them expectantly. He turned to look at Inuyasha to give him one last squeeze on his shoulder, hoping his friend was okay, maybe just for the moment. He didn't know what was happening between Inuyasha and Kagome now that they were apparently broken up, even though Miroku knew that it wasn't the case. He knew they still loved each other. The two of them just needed time to sort out whatever it was that they were going through. "Listen... don't give up on her. I know you still love her and I can tell that she still loves you too. It's normal for couples to go through things like this. It doesn't warrant for you to break up..."

"You're telling me I shouldn't have broken up with her?" Inuyasha interjected. Miroku shook his head.

"I can't tell you what you should've done or what I would've done. I'm just telling you what I see. And I see that the two of you are meant for each other and love each other. So all I'm saying is not to give up on one another just because of this little speed bump. It'll probably happen again but that's a relationship."

"She doesn't talk to me, Miroku," Inuyasha said adamantly, trying to justify his actions. But the more he talked it out and thought about it, the more he regretted what he did. He should've tried to work it out between them. Had he been too rash in breaking up with her?

"Inuyasha, what's done is done. Let's figure out what we wanna do from here on out, hmm?" Miroku asked with a smile. He let go of his friend and made the rest of the trek back to the others first, giving Inuyasha a few more seconds to himself. He went straight to Sango with a smile, seeing her concerned look. He kissed her on the forehead before sitting in between Sango and Emi on the couch. "We playing Pictionary now?" he laughed out, seeing Sango's pad in her lap with scribbles on it.

"Yep. Every other is a team. And the theme is 'wedding'," Kokoro announced. She got up and gave Miroku his own pair of pen and pad. She smiled at Inuyasha as he joined them and gave him his own set. Inuyasha took it with thanks and went to sit on the ground of the circle that they formed in the living room in front of the fireplace. Some of them sat on the couches and chairs while some on the ground.

"Everything okay, honey?" Izayoi asked softly. She watched as her son sat cross-legged, looking like he wasn't really here with them. The whole day she worried for him but just couldn't find the time to be alone with him while everyone was here.

"Yeah. Let's play." Inuyasha looked at the others, trying to figure out who was next. Itsuki spoke up, enthusiastically proclaiming that it was his turn and Mai was ready with the timer as he chose the card that Izayoi had prepared for them beforehand. Inuyasha watched them and tried to play along but he wasn't in the mood. He figured he would just watch. His mind was too distracted to think about what was being drawn on the pads.

About ten minutes later, Kagome came walking through the doorway of the great hall closest to the kitchen. Inuyasha watched as she went to the grand staircase. His mother called out and asked her if she was going to turn in for the night. Kagome nodded and apologized to everyone for skipping out on the activities, but his mother spoke up and dismissed her apology before she could explain herself, encouraging Kagome to get some needed rest. Izayoi reminded Kagome that tomorrow would be a full day of activities and that everyone should plan to be downstairs by nine for breakfast. Kagome agreed and everyone said their good night's to her before she headed upstairs. Inuyasha turned to see Rin walk in the other doorway into the grand hall, her stride purposeful as she made her way back to Sesshomaru's side. She gave away no clues as to what she and Kagome had talked about, and he watched her suspiciously for a few moments before she caught his eyes. She smiled sadly at him before she grabbed his brother's hand and paid attention to the game.

They spent another two hours playing and talking before Sango was the first to mention that she was tired and wanted to turn in for the night. It was ten and everyone else agreed to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow's full day. The group headed upstairs, searching for their rooms as they talked amongst each other. Inuyasha began to follow them up, already knowing where his room was.

"Inuyasha!" Rin called, halting him. He turned to see Rin come up to him and he sighed, looking up at the others ahead of him. Miroku had turned back to look down at him, nodding his head as they all went to the top and disappeared down the hallway.

"Hey, I just wanted to see how you're doing?" Rin asked at the bottom of the stairs. He was about five steps above her, turning to look down at her. His mother was also making her way towards them and he already knew what was going to happen. He wanted no part of it.

"I'm good."

"Honey... I wanted to check on you all day and see how you're doing," Izayoi said, coming up to stand next to Rin. "I'm worried about you. And Kagome."

"I'm fine."

"Inuyasha..." Rin started.

"What did you guys talk about when I left?" he interrupted her. He watched Rin think it over before she finally answered and he could sense her hesitance.

"Inuyasha, you know that I love you. And I'm saying this for your own good." He stared at her, wondering why she took such a serious tone with him. "Give Kagome some time. We talked about some things this morning that are... it wasn't easy for her to talk about them."

"Well at least she talked to you about it," he said disdainfully.

Rin frowned. "Don't be that way. She loves you, Inuyasha."

He waved his hand at her. "I'm going to bed." He didn't want to hear it. If Rin was going to back Kagome up and plead her case, he wasn't in the mood for it. He was angry, hurt, confused and completely left in the dark, a familiar feeling from a past relationship. He also was jealous of Rin and the fact that Kagome had turned to his sister-in-law, who she had only met once before. Kagome felt more comfortable with Rin than she did with him, which made him even more jealous and hurt. This relationship was going nowhere.

Inuyasha started up the stairs and Rin opened her mouth to call him back, but she quickly shut it. "You should tell him." She quickly thought Kagome's words over and decided that Inuyasha wasn't in the right space to hear what she needed to tell him. Maybe tomorrow he would be more open and willing. Right now, she sensed that he was just frustrated and needed time. 'Sorry Kagome...' She couldn't tell him just yet.

Inuyasha made it to the top and headed straight for his room. All the doors were closed and he couldn't hear much of anything. His parents' home was made of stone, withstanding centuries, and it was as good as any soundproofed walls, even his apartment. Their home had ten bedrooms, five on each side of the hall, while his parents' bedroom was the only one downstairs, tucked away from the rest of the house. The girls wanted to share rooms so there was two sharing one room. Shippo and Mizuki shared one while Miroku and Sango shared one. Kagome had a room while Itsuki had his own, and the rest was for him and his brother. That left one empty bedroom for Kikyo, though he wasn't sure if she was going to stay the night tomorrow. With her busy schedule, she's been all over the place.

He made his way to his bedroom door and wondered which room Kagome was in, pausing to look down the hall before he opened the door and walked in, shutting the door behind him. He went straight for the bathroom, needing a shower before he turned in for the night. But he stopped halfway and frowned, taking a deep breath. 'Kagome's scent.' He could smell her scent strongly and saw that his sliding door was open. He paused to take in her scent again and then went straight into the bathroom, trying to brush her out of her mind. After finishing his nightly routine, he was ready for bed. He only had on his black boxer-briefs as he made his way to the bed, thinking of nothing but Kagome as he dragged the comforter back and settled in. 'Dammit.' Her scent was still coming into his room, making him wonder if he would be able to sleep.

Kagome's scent was intoxicating. It was stronger than the scent of his mother's garden outside. That he could smell and it was closer towards the front of the house. But Kagome's scent was the one thing that overpowered all the flowers and other smells. He couldn't stop thinking about her and her actions, or lack thereof, today. He worried about her, more than he cared to admit because they weren't together anymore. 'Like that matters.' Honestly, Miroku's words did resonate with him and made a lot of sense. He started to feel guilty that he had left Kagome the way he did on Saturday. Not just that, but he started to feel guilty that he didn't try harder to make their relationship work. He just... gave up.

He knew why. Thanks to Rin's counseling, she helped him to realize that what happened between him and Kiyomi is why he's afraid of getting into any new relationship. He hasn't been with anyone for a century and it was because of his first and only relationship that scarred him. He didn't want to give his heart away to anyone, ever again. He made sure to never kiss any woman but to just use those who were willing for his pleasure. It was an easy transaction when he sought the right crowd in RUSH where the women had the same ideals as him. One night stands, a quickie, easy and done. He never got intimately close with any woman because the only woman he's ever loved didn't love him back, not in the way that he loved her. And because of that, he had put up his walls around his heart and made sure that no one got in. But then came Kagome, and his walls started to crumble. She brought life and light back into his heart and reminded him of what love was like. This time, he thought it was true love because of his demon's reaction to her. He knew she was his mate because he hadn't felt like this with Kiyomi, so that was another reason why he allowed his walls to fall and to make room in his heart for her. He loved her without even knowing her. But because of what happened with Kiyomi, he still had some instinctual reactions. Like his fear of fighting for something that wasn't going to last. He had fought for his relationship with Kiyomi for years, even going against his mother's better instincts. He had tried so hard to get her to love him, when she just didn't love him enough, and eventually left him. Since then, he was tired of trying. Being with Kagome made him realize that he was treating her as if she was Kiyomi, like he didn't even want to try and work things out between them, like he was tired of trying. It was easier to walk away before he spent too much time, too much of his love on her, and then for her to turn around just like Kiyomi did and leave him. That was his biggest fear. That she would leave him the same way Kiyomi did, as if his love meant nothing to her.

'Is that how it is with Kagome?' He certainly felt like it sometimes. He felt like he didn't really know Kagome, at least not the way that he wanted to know her. He wanted to know more than her favorite color or how well she can dance. He wanted to know her deepest and darkest secrets so that he could be that rock that she could lean on when she needed him, not his sister-in-law. He wanted to know what to protect her from, to always keep her safe, and he wanted to know what she deeply craved, to always make her happy and bring her joy. He loved her. He wanted to wake up next to her every morning and go to sleep with her in his arms. But she was always so elusive and she always slipped through his fingers. There could be times when she would be open and talk to him, and those times he cherished. He could tell that it was hard for her to tell him some things, like about her past in particular, and he didn't know why. He sensed that she was ashamed, though he didn't know why she would feel ashamed around him. He never made her feel guilty or otherwise when he listened and accepted whatever it was about her and her past. And yet, she still wouldn't talk to him. She still wouldn't open up to him. Sometimes it was like pulling teeth. Sometimes she could be so cold and distant that it felt like he could never get to her. And sometimes he was tired of trying.

'Dammit!' He couldn't sleep. Rin's voice kept replaying in his mind. "Give Kagome some time." Yeah, easier said than done, and how much time would she need? He needed to stop acting like he had other women lined up and that he didn't have the time to wait for Kagome, because he did. Being honest, he could wait forever for her, if time was what she needed to choose him. "She loves you, Inuyasha." Yeah well sometimes he felt like she didn't and after what happened with Kiyomi, he was hesitant and resistant to wait around for her to show him. Sometimes you might never really know someone at all, even though you have been with them for a hundred years. He never knew Kiyomi the way he thought he did and maybe Kagome was just a replay of that, so he was trying to prevent the inevitable from happening again. He didn't want to go through that heartbreak and pain again. He didn't want to go back into that dark time in his life. 'I think it's too late for that.' If he lost Kagome, he knew that he would be in a worse state than he was when he lost Kiyomi. Kagome was his mate, that he knew without a doubt, and if he lost his mate then he lost himself.

Inuyasha growled and sat up, unable to stop his runaway thoughts. He was acting like he was in a session with Rin, and he wasn't in the mood to analyze all of his actions and reactions. He got up and walked over to the sliding door, going to figure out why he smelled Kagome's scent so strongly. He figured that his mother put Kagome in the room next to him. Just his luck. He couldn't sleep with her scent wafting into his room without thinking about her and missing her. He would have to close the door. He placed his hand on the sliding door and paused, taking another sniff. He stepped out into the cold, country air and walked out onto the little balcony, sidestepping the chairs and coffee table. He looked to the balcony next to his and even without the help of the crescent moon's dim light, he could see a figure sitting on the floor of the balcony. He knew it was Kagome, that was why her scent was so strong in his room. She was sitting out here, in the cold, in what looked like a white robe.

"Kagome," he called, but she didn't respond. He looked good and noticed she was asleep. He cursed and placed a hand on the balustrade and hefted himself on it. With an easy jump, he landed gracefully on her balustrade in a crouch, taking her in. She was sitting with her legs tucked under her against the wall, her head lolled over to one side in sleep. The robe wasn't long enough to cover all of her skin from her knees and elbows down. He even noticed that the robe was parted to reveal one side of her chest. 'Dammit.' She wore nothing beneath that robe and she was sitting outside in the cold night air.

Inuyasha got down and went towards her, reaching to cradle her head in his hands to feel her skin. 'She's freezing!' "Kagome," he called, hearing her moan. He didn't wait for her reply and brought her into his arms, picking her up bridal style. She stirred and woke up, moving against him as he walked into her room. "What the hell were you thinking! It's freezing outside. You're stone cold," he said, frustrated with her that she would put her health in jeopardy like that.

Kagome blinked, trying to get her bearings as she realized that Inuyasha was carrying her and taking her to the bed. She shivered, suddenly understanding what he said. "I didn't mean to... I fell asleep." She doesn't remember how long she was out there but she remembered wanting to sit outside in the cold, in the numbing cold, after the scalding hot bath she took for way too long. The jarring difference in the temperatures shocked her body and her mind, which was what she needed. But none of it was enough to take away the pain. And all she remembered was falling asleep to the thought of Rin telling Inuyasha everything, and how she was going to have to leave the group once he knew. Her dreams of being a part of a popstar's dance group was short-lived, but at least she got to live it for a little while.

"Idiot. You fell asleep on the balcony wearing nothing but this damn robe. You could catch a cold." Inuyasha took her to the bed and laid her down gently. "Get under the covers," he said gruffly, trying to pull the covers out from under her. They were still neatly made as if she hadn't gotten into bed yet. "What were you doing outside?"

Kagome frowned, wondering what Inuyasha was doing and why he was being so nice to her. She moved around to help him get the covers from under her and allowed him to tuck her in. The whole time, she stared at him, taking in his gorgeous body only clothed in his boxer-briefs. 'He doesn't know...' Rin hadn't told him yet. Kagome could tell that Inuyasha knew nothing about her past yet. He was acting too nice.

"Inuyasha, stop."

He froze, leaning over her as he was tucking her in. He stared at her, her blue eyes almost ethereal in the darkness of her room. She had left her bathroom light on but he didn't need it to see her in the dark. Her skin was pale, no doubt from her being outside in the cold air for who knows how long. And her blue eyes were striking in the darkness. He could stare at her all night.

"We need to talk."

He furrowed his eyebrows, standing up taller as he regarded her with suspicion. "We were supposed to talk earlier but then you told me to leave so that you could talk to Rin."

She flinched at his accusatory tone, knowing full well she deserved that. "I know. And Rin was supposed to tell you what I'm about to tell you."

That made his ears perk. "Tell me what?"

Kagome took two deep breaths and sighed heavily. She would have to tell him. He deserved to know. Like she told Rin, once he knew the truth then he could finally make a choice to love her or leave her. But she was honestly tired. She was tired of pushing him away when he obviously kept coming back. She didn't want to lie to him anymore. And she couldn't stay away from him either. She didn't want to. It was like fighting a losing battle. And right now, she was so emotionally tired and drained that this was as good of a time as any before her doubts creeped in and made her lose all her courage.

"Sit with me?" she asked him, opening the covers so that he could join her.

Inuyasha could hear the seriousness in Kagome's voice. This probably should've been the talk that needed to happen on Saturday, heck, probably before that. Whatever this was, it was keeping them from moving forward. And he would sit with her and talk if that's what it took to move forward with her. He got into bed with her as she sat up against the pillows and the headboard. He propped some pillows up behind him and leaned back, getting comfortable too.

"Can you hold me while I talk?"

She asked him with a soft voice, almost like a child afraid of being punished. He frowned in disbelief and grabbed her. "Idiot..." he whispered gently. He felt her relax immediately, her legs tucked against him while she was curled under his right arm. Her hand moved over his chest and he grabbed it, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. Her blue eyes looked up at him, frightened, and he was taken aback. "Kagome... what's wrong?" He could smell her fear the longer she remained quiet and his hand around her came up to brush her hair back away from her face. "Tell me."

"You have to promise not to get mad... like when I told you about my ex."

He remembered that time when they were out in Tokyo and she had told him that her ex had raped her. "You still didn't answer my question."

She blinked, looking up at him. "What question?"

"I asked you how many times did he rape you."

Kagome frowned, her eyes avoiding his. "I remember you got mad and transformed."

"I was mad at him, Kagome. I wanted to kill him. I still do. And I will." Her head came up quickly, staring at him in shock and fear. "I wasn't mad at you. I was mad that someone had hurt you."

Kagome brought her hand up to his face, rubbing her thumb against his cheek. "You told me you weren't disgusted by me."

He remembered, and he was starting to wonder why she was bringing this up. He also still didn't understand why she would think he would be angry and disgusted at her. "I don't see why I should be. I think you thought that I would leave you if you told me you were raped." He watched her expression that didn't change and realized he spoke the truth. "But I told you, Kagome... don't tell me what I can and can't understand. You don't know what I've been through either, so you can't judge me on my past the same way I can't judge you on yours."

He held her hand against his chest for a moment, waiting for her to say something. She eventually looked away and laid her head against his chest, snuggling up against him. She brought one leg up, draping her thigh over his hip, and pressed her body against his side. He could feel the rise and fall of each breath she took as they half sat, half laid there in silence. And he waited, playing with her fingers as he held her tight against him. He nearly went over every single thing that she might have to tell him: that she was still in love with her ex, that she didn't want to be with him, that she had a boyfriend already. The last one he knew wasn't true because he's never smelled another male's scent on her. But still, she was killing him with the silence, making his imagination run wild, torturing him.

"You said you wouldn't be disgusted by me..." Kagome whispered, making his ears twitch. Her hand moved out of his and went to rest over his heart. "I want you to know that I love you. And whatever happens between us... I will always love you."

Inuyasha sighed, frustrated and confused. He heard her heart beat speed up and he could smell the salt in her tears. "I love you too, Kagome. Will you just tell me already? You're killing me with your cryptic words." He looked down at the top of her head, seeing a little bit of her eyes. "Just tell me. I'll love you no matter what."

Kagome smiled against his skin, wiping the tears from her eyes. "No matter what..." She allowed herself to feel the beating of his heart for a few seconds longer, and then she steeled her nerves and put her walls up, her voice neutral.

"There's a lot that you don't know about me, Inuyasha. A lot that I never wanted you to know." He was going to speak but he didn't want to interrupt her. He wanted to hear what she had to say and he wanted her to feel like she could say anything and everything without his opinion and interjection. So he did his best to shut his mouth and stay quiet the whole time she spoke.

"I already told you about my parents and a little bit of my upbringing. My mother had postpartum depression after I was born and my father resorted to alcohol and prostitutes. I have this vivid memory of the house that my parents used to own before they sold it for drugs. A memory that isn't mine, but one I made up. I was an infant, crying in my crib in a dark house, while my mother was cutting herself in the bathroom and my father comes stumbling into the house and into their bedroom. No one sees me or hears me crying, hungry in my soiled diaper. No ones cares." She stopped, holding back a sob. The memories were so fresh from this morning's talk with Rin that she still had a hard time talking about it. Inuyasha tightened his arms around her, sending her his strength. He wished he could erase that memory she had. He could picture her, an infant, soiled in her diaper and screaming at the top of her little lungs. But her father stumbles past her in his drunk stupor and her mother is nowhere to be seen. He couldn't understand what parents would do that to their infant. He had the complete opposite. He had loving, devoted parents who protected him ruthlessly from a world who once hated hanyous. He kissed Kagome's forehead and rubbed his thumb over her shoulder, letting her know that he was here for her. He would listen for however long she needed, and he would sort through his feelings about it later. Her uneasiness and sadness came off her in waves, keeping his whole focus and attention on taking care of her first.

"Rin helped me with this memory... she helped me to see that this memory wasn't mine but a memory that was planted there by the perceptions of my parents. She's helping me with confronting my past and working through it," Kagome said, rubbing her thumb over Inuyasha's heart. His thumb motion was soothing and she wanted to soothe him back, mimicking his thumb motions. She wanted to soothe him because was about to break his heart. "But the funny thing is... Rin told me the exact same thing you told me on our dinner date," she said with a smile, taking in the scent of his skin. "I remember you told me that it was their choice for choosing not to get help and for choosing drugs. That none of it is my fault. And Rin said the same thing. So... thank you, Inuyasha, for saying that. It means a lot to me. I never forgot it. I just need to work on believing it." Inuyasha simply kissed her forehead to let her know that he was listening but wanting her to speak.

"We lived on Shikoku Island and were homeless. We moved a lot, in and out of abandoned homes, or in homeless communities in the woods. I never went to school all my life. I learned how to read and write from the people I lived with in those communities, and I learned everything that I needed to survive by watching. I never had friends. Even in homeless communities, you have to watch your back. People will do desperate things in desperate situations."

Kagome was trying her best to stall, to build up the courage to tell him what he needed to know. She wanted this moment of being in his arms to last forever. Before things change between them. The unknown and the uncontrollable was something she feared. She took a breath and stilled her hand over his heart, pressing down. "My father raped me when I was ten." She felt his thumb still and his body jerked slightly, but he said nothing. She waited for a few heartbeats, wondering if he was going to say something, but he was still and quiet. "For five years, he raped me. And my mother knew about it. The first time it happened, she was there, but like when I was an infant, she pretended like she didn't hear me crying out for help. She ignored me while I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. Eventually, I stopped crying out for help and let him have his way with me. My father always had sex with me when he was drunk." She began to rub her thumb against him again, needing the distraction when he was so still. "I could've run. The first time... when he raped me... I had a chance to run away. But I didn't..."

Inuyasha suddenly grabbed her by her shoulders, scaring her, and easily holding her up so that they were looking each other in the eye. "Don't you dare blame yourself!" He watched her blue eyes widen, but there was no fear. He was furious that she would do that, that she would blame herself for what her father did to her and make it seem like it was her fault for not running away from her attacker. He noticed that it was a bad habit of hers to blame herself for things done to her or out of her control. A habit that he was hellbent on changing. "What your father did to you wasn't your fault. And it wasn't your fault for not running away. You were just a child, Kagome."

He held her up easily, away from him, and she smiled at him sadly. Her robe had fallen open in his grab of her arms, revealing more of her bare chest. She grabbed at the edges to cover herself and he released her slowly. "You're shaking," she said, feeling his hands against her.

"I'm enraged," he growled out. His demon was under control but he felt like he was seeing red. He was so pissed at the world, at her father, at her ex. How could anyone hurt her like that? How dare they! He took his hands off her and scooted back so that he sat cross-legged against the headboard. "I can't... I wish your father was still alive..."

She frowned at his murderous threat. His voice was deep and he put distance between them. His hands were fisted in his lap and he was staring down at the bed in front of him. Kagome frowned, feeling so much sadness that it overwhelmed her.

"Inuyasha..." she whispered, her eyes tearing up. "You're breaking my heart..." she said, tears falling down her face. She cried. She covered her face and cried at the distance she had caused between the two of them. She cried over her past and the fact that it still had control of her life, even to this moment.

Inuyasha's face came up and he stared at her in disbelief and concern, his anger quickly fading away. "What? Why?" Her tears always got to him and he leaned towards her, grabbing her easily to bring her into his lap. She fit perfectly against him, snuggled against his chest like a child. "Kagome... please don't cry. I didn't mean to make you upset." He had to control his emotions. His emotions was triggering her and her emotions were triggering him. They were like on an emotional rollercoaster that was going in opposite directions but would cross paths every once in a while only to cause the other rollercoaster in the opposite direction again.

"You can't let my past win," she said, sniffing. She looked up, her eyes pleading with him. "Don't get mad at my dad. I've forgiven him even though I still hate him for what he did to me. I will always love him because he's my dad. Every time I see a jasmine, I think of him fondly. Not what he did to me... but to think that I still had a small place in his heart when he brought me a jasmine... that's what I cling to. Yes, I'm glad he's dead. Yes, he was a horrible father to me and the countless things he did that caused my life a living hell is unforgivable. But what's done is done. My past is my past and I've moved forward from it. I won't allow it to hold me back from a better future and I won't allow it to control my emotions. That was something that I had to learn the hard way and something that I still struggle with doing... even now when my past is haunting me again."

Inuyasha stared at her in awe, seeing the strength and determination in her eyes. She was so beautiful to him. Her will to live and to survive was admirable to him. He could see that she was a fighter, she was not one to willingly submit and let something happen to her. Yes, she had moments as a child where she could do nothing but submit to her parents because she was too weak to fight anyone. That trauma probably made her into who she was now. Now, she refused to be that weak child, unable to fight, willingly letting someone take advantage of her. Now, she was going to be the one who takes her life into her own hands and be the one to control it.

"Kagome..." He loved her, hurt for her, was proud of her. So many emotions and thoughts ran through his head but what kept him grounded was the fact that she was in his arms, her scent always so calming and erotic, and her eyes that mesmerized him. She truly was the most beautiful woman in the world to him, both inside and out.

"I'm not done..." Kagome said with a sad smile, seeing the spark of hope in his golden eyes. She wished that they could end on such a good note. But it would only get worse from here. Nothing of this talk was going to be easy. It would go from bad, to worse, to evil.

Taking a breath, she relaxed into him again, trying to find solace in his quiet strength. "The worse part of all of this... is that when I was fifteen, I started my period." She paused, unable to get the words out. She felt her throat tighten and her pulse quickened, her fear suddenly stealing her breath. 'He's going to reject me...'

Inuyasha could sense it and immediately tightened his hold on her, tilting her chin up so that she could look at him. "Kagome... calm down." He brought his lips to her forehead, planting a kiss. "Take it slow, and I promise I won't get mad. I'm here to listen."

She smiled up at him, taking a deep breath. She was grateful to have found him, to have him in her life. Inuyasha was the one thing in her life that she had done right, the one thing that she wouldn't trade anything in the world for. But only if he would have her. She would be happy enough if they just remained friends if that was the most they would ever be after this.

"You're too good to me..." she whispered. Inuyasha smiled and kissed her forehead one last time before relaxing back against the headboard, gazing down expectantly at her, waiting. She took a few breaths, running one hand along his bare chest, feeling his smooth skin and his defined muscles. In some small part within her, she treasured this moment. That she was so close to him, yet so far away. That triumphant, feminine feeling of her having him like this, so intimate and so gentle. He was so handsome and so brave, and she would break his heart.

"When I was fifteen, I started my period. Even then... my father kept having sex with me... without protection." She felt so much shame saying this out loud, especially to someone who she loved, someone who she had hoped she could've had that same intimate connection with in some shape or form.

"Did he... did he get you pregnant?" Inuyasha asked, his voice low. He was stiff as a board, holding her in his arms. He was quiet but his body language spoke volumes as if he was afraid of her answer.

"No." Her voice came out in a whisper, as if that great declaration was supposed to have been a family secret. She felt him relax just a bit, making her wonder if that was his biggest worry out of all of this that she had to tell him. If she had been pregnant, would that have been a deal breaker?

"But... with the coming of my period came the desires of a woman." She steeled her nerves and spoke almost robotically, stating the facts, protecting her heart from what was to come. "I began to get turned on by my father's rough treatment of me. And eventually I started having orgasms." She turned her head from him, keeping her head down, ashamed. "It's not like I liked it. I couldn't control my body and I hated myself for it."

"Kagome..."

Inuyasha placed his hand on her cheek to turn her head to look at him. When her eyes connected with his, she felt such shame that she tried to turn her head from him but he wouldn't allow her. He grabbed her face and kissed her, shocking her at the intensity. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and immediately her body was on fire. She moaned and ran her hands up his chest, wrapping her fingers around his neck while bringing her body closer against his. Inuyasha let out a sound, somewhere between a moan and a growl, only fueling her desire for him.

Inuyasha broke the kiss too soon, too fast. He moved back so fast that his head hit the headboard, closing his eyes in pain. Not physical pain from hitting his head but physical strain from needing to keep himself physically under control. Kagome frowned, breathing heavily, wondering what just happened. She licked her lips and grabbed the edges of her robe to keep it closed.

"I love you so much, Kagome..."

Kagome felt like he just hit her like a ton of bricks. When she looked back at him, his intense, golden eyes were staring at her with such fire. "I love you. I wish you could see that. I wish you would stop pushing me away."

She frowned, pained at his words, shaking her head in wonder. "Why? Why do you love me?"

"Because you're mine," he said plainly. She didn't understand it, and she wondered if he would ever tell her what he meant by that. He stated things like that, like she was his mate, and she wondered if he knew she didn't truly know what all of that meant. But to Inuyasha, it was as if it was the truest statement in the world. Done. She was his. Simple. Could it be that simple?

Kagome chuckled softly, half-heartedly. "That doesn't explain anything."

"It does for me." Inuyasha brushed her hair back behind her ears while speaking, keeping his eyes intently on her, reading every change in her scent and every movement in her body. He was starting to slowly get attuned to her and he wanted to know her more. He wanted to know the way her body moved when she got angry and when she got turned on. He wanted to know the smell of her scent when her blood boiled over with anger and when her blood heated with lust and desire. "I know it doesn't mean much to you. But to a demon, it's simple, plain and clear. You're my mate. You're mine. I knew you were mine the moment you walked into the dance studio by your scent. I just didn't fall in love with you until I got to know you. And when I got to know you, there was nothing about you that I didn't like." She turned her face from him and he made her look back at him, keeping her eyes on him. "Not even this."

"You're not disgusted that I got turned on by my father having sex with me?" she asked almost hysterical, shocked by her own words. "I wish you would stop pushing me away." He was right. She was trying to give him reasons to leave her when to him there was no reason to leave her.

"Again... why are you trying to push me away?" he asked, leaning back against the headboard but keeping his arms around her so that she had to lean against him. "Why do you want me to be disgusted by you?"

"I... I don't," she said confusedly. Yet her actions and her words said otherwise. Inuyasha didn't speak her thoughts, though she knew that he thought exactly what she did. For some reason, she was trying so hard to get him to hate her, to be disgusted by her. It was as if she wanted to tell him all her dirty little secrets so that he would leave her.

"But you're right..." she said softly. "I think I'm trying to protect myself from what I know to be inevitable. I know that in the end... you'll leave me. So I'm trying to take control of it now and push you away before you get the chance to leave me."

Inuyasha took a deep breath, suddenly having a deep talk with her. This was what he wanted. He didn't want to hear how horrible she thought she was and how horrible of a past she had. Yes, it was important for him to know because he needed to know everything about her. But if she was going to do it so that he would break up with her... then she'd better think of another reason for telling him the truth.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kagome." He brought his palm up to her cheek to run his thumb along her cheek. "No matter how horrible you think your past is... no matter how horrible you think you are... I don't see you that way. You're the only one who can tear us apart. Not your father or your ex. Just you."

Kagome frowned. He sounded so sad that her heart ached for him. "The last thing I needed to tell you..." she said softly, hating that she had to ruin the moment they were having. She stared at his lips, unable to look into his eyes. "My ex... he was... brutal. He was a youkai and he was always very aggressive and sadistic when it came to sex. Every time we had sex he would hurt me. It was as if my pain and my cries turned him on. Most of the time he drew blood because he liked the taste of my blood." She cringed saying these things out loud, everything sounding so disgusting and degrading. And the whole time, Inuyasha said nothing but simply held her tight. That was enough.

She turned her head from him once she saw his lips press tight together. "He... hurt me, Inuyasha. I have a lot of scars on my body because of him and the way he used to hurt me. That's why I can't handle men touching me. My past with men wasn't that great... so now I... I need to be the one who is in control of men. I can't be touched by them, especially sexually. It triggers my past and I... shut down. He... he used to handcuff me to the bed so that I couldn't move my arms or my legs. I would be naked and spread out on the bed for most of the day, waiting for him to return to use me the way he wanted to." She whimpered, remembering how helpless she had felt, how degrading it was to be chained up like that, naked and exposed.

Inuyasha brought up his knee so that her back rested against it and he was able to cradle her head with both of his hands. He brought his lips down to her forehead, giving her a kiss and grazing her head with his lips. "Kagome... you're safe now. I won't let anything like that ever happen to you again. I promise."

Kagome smiled, tears springing to her eyes. The gentleness of his voice and his hands were all too much. She had expected him to reject her, to be disgusted by her. And yet, here he was, offering her comfort and sympathy. "Inuyasha..." She lifted her head so that she could look at him, smiling at the love and strength she saw in his golden eyes. She brought her lips to his, watching as he smiled slowly as she closed the distance between them, both of them meeting the other halfway. They kissed tenderly, both of them trying to tell the other something without words. Words couldn't express what she felt for this man. How much he meant to her.

She broke the kiss, quick enough to tell him how she felt. "I love you... so much..." she told him, bringing her lips back to his to deepen the kiss. She brought her hands up to hold beneath his biceps, while his hands on her face moved to entangle in her hair. His tongue was gentle on hers, coaxing her softly, restarting that fire that he had started earlier. Her body immediately responded to him, to his attention and love. She felt her whole body go up in flames the more he kissed her, the more he ate at her mouth like he starved for her, as she did for him. They were both lost in each other's arms, both of them trying to get closer to one another but it wasn't close enough. She felt butterflies in her stomach and her core clenched, wanting him to take her. She wanted to be with him... that terrified and excited her both at the same time.

"Kagome..." Inuyasha said breathless, pulling away from her hungry mouth. "We should stop." He couldn't catch his breath and he didn't want to. He wanted her. His ears were ringing, his blood was boiling, the need to mate was strong. He had never felt this way before. Not with Kiyomi and not with any other woman. No one had ever made him feel this way... so out of control. It took every strength and will he had to pull back, already feeling the loss of her, his demon growling vehemently at him, warring with his rational side. But what really helped to stop himself and overpower his demon's lust for her was her scent. Yes, he could smell her sweet arousal that called to him. But he also could smell something else that gave him pause and that made him pull back. He smelt her fear.

Kagome blinked through her lust-filled daze. She stared at him as his hands fell from her face and dropped onto her shoulders, holding her back. She was taking in deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. 'Why...' Her mind was racing with questions, wondering why he stopped, wondering what went wrong. She took a breath, her hands dropping from his arms to grab at the edges of her robe. "You... don't want me."

Inuyasha nearly laughed out loud, staring at her as if she had lost her mind. "You've got to be kidding... After all that, you think I don't want you?"

Kagome frowned, furrowing her eyebrows. "Then, why?"

She truly sounded confused, like a little child wondering what they did wrong. He sighed. Inuyasha grabbed her hand from her robe and shifted them so that he could place her hand right on his hard-on. "You think I don't want you?" he asked unabashedly.

Kagome's heart quickened and she felt a deep possessiveness sweep through her. She hadn't felt this way before, especially when at Midnite she had felt many a men's erection pressed up against her. But she never had a desire for them, in fact it repulsed her. But with Inuyasha, she wanted his desire. His desire for her turned her on. She wanted him to want her and she reveled in the power that she had over his desire for her. She gently moved her fingers over him, feeling his length as much as she could in his boxer-briefs, watching his golden eyes darken. His eyelids grew heavier as his lips parted open and he began to breathed heavily, making her pulse quicken at the sight of him.

"Careful, Kagome..." Inuyasha said with a soft growl. He could smell her arousal stronger this time. She was getting turned on because he was turned on, and that pleased him on a primitive level. The need to mate with his mate was like an animalistic, primal urge that he had to constantly tame. But her fingers on his cock felt so good. And he was sure there was better to be had if they were both naked. He wanted to run his hands along her skin, committing her body to memory.

Kagome watched as his intense gaze told him the opposite of what his words told her. "Why are you stopping this?" she whispered, bringing her lips up to his. Like a siren she offered her mouth to him and he kissed her hungrily, meeting her fire as she continued to feel him. She ran her nails down his length and he growled, wanting to push her back onto the bed and take what belonged to him.

"No," Inuyasha said, breaking their kiss and grabbing her hand to stop her. "We should take it slow, Kagome. I don't want to frighten you, especially after you told me all of that."

She frowned, shaking her head. "I'm not frightened. I'm too turned on," she protested.

He smiled lovingly at her and brushed her hair back from her face. "I can smell your fear, Kagome. And I can smell your arousal. But I won't have you fearing me. You can't fear your mate. I would never hurt you."

"I know..." she said softly, ducking her head in shame. "It's just... an automatic reaction, I guess."

He ran his thumb along her lips. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I will never push you to do something you're not ready to do."

"But I am ready!" she said adamantly. She felt sexually frustrated and bereft, which she had never thought would have ever happen to her. Men never denied her. She was sure that if she had come on this hard with any of her clients that they would never have stopped her. But Inuyasha was. 'Why!'

"Your body might be ready for me but your mind is not," he explained softly. He wrapped his arms around her rigid body, running his hand up and down her arm to get her to calm down. And to get himself to calm down. "Your wounds are too fresh, Kagome. I saw how you were all day today. I know you talked to Rin about this, and even though I wish you would've told me first, I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to tell my sister-in-law something so private like this. She's a good person and a good therapist. And today, you were just... gone."

Kagome relaxed in his arms, defeated. She listened to his sad voice and realized that she had hurt him. Whether she hurt him because she didn't tell him first or because she had checked out from all of today's events, she couldn't really tell. But she didn't mean to hurt him. She was just too wrapped up in her own drama and her own feelings to even notice anyone around her today. And he had noticed.

"It was as if you were physically there, but you had mentally checked out. And I could feel your walls were back up again. I felt like we had gone right back to the beginning of when I first met you and you were so distant."

Kagome brought her head up, bringing her hand up to his face. "I'm sorry. I never meant to push you away. Or the others. I just... I couldn't be happy like you guys were. I know it was wrong. It's Miroku and Sango's engagement party week. I should be happy for them, and I am. But I..." she frowned, dropping her hand to place it over his heart, not knowing what to say. "I had lost you. We were broken up and I had no one anymore... I didn't even want to come because I couldn't bear seeing you again after Saturday."

"And that was my fault," he said sincerely. "I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm sorry for hurting you like that. I was just angry and frustrated and hurt that you wouldn't open up to me. I felt like we kept hitting walls that you weren't willing to put down. And honestly... I felt like you didn't love me. At least... not in the way that I love you."

She looked up at him, hearing his soft confession, and it tore at her heart. "I do love you, Inuyasha. I love you... more than you know."

He smiled at her, moving down to kiss her tenderly, softly. "I love you too, Kagome. More than you know." He kissed her on her cheek. "I just don't want to move too fast."

Kagome nodded her understanding. "I understand." She pressed her palm against his chest. "Just know that I love you and I trust you. I'm not afraid of you. I know it's just my mind and my memories playing tricks on me. But I know that you're not like them. So just know that I trust you..." she said with a smile, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "I'm not afraid of you. I love you."

"Kagome..." He kissed her one last time, squeezing her hand, and moved them under the covers. "Time for bed. This time you'll be warm instead of freezing outside... baka."

Kagome giggled, watching as he fussed over her. He pulled the comforter over them as she snuggled under the warm sheets, bringing her knees up on her side. She watched him get comfortable under the covers with her, igniting a warm feeling in her stomach. "Are you sleeping here?" she asked with a smile.

He arched his eyebrow at her. "Of course I am. I'm not going anywhere." He didn't want to leave her, both because he knew she needed him and because he needed her. He settled on his side facing her and pulled her closer to him so that they intertwined their legs and he could wrap his arm around her to keep her close to him.

Kagome smiled, feeling the security and love of being in Inuyasha's arms. She loved this man. And now that they had talked things out and were mending their wounds, she was sure that they would figure things out together. She snuggled a little closer to him, wrapping her arm over his waist and her leg over his. Feeling safe and secure in all that was Inuyasha, she fell asleep to the sound of his soft breathing.

Morning came too soon. She cracked open her eyes, feeling the rise and fall of Inuyasha's chest. Kagome smiled, her cheek lying on his chest. She had half of her body on him, her arm draped over his chest and her right leg over his waist. 'Inuyasha...' She didn't know where they stood in terms of a relationship, but right now, she felt like he belonged to her as much as her heart and soul belonged to him. She planted a kiss on his pec and moved, stretching out beside him. She still had her robe on and the comforter had been pushed back throughout the night. Inuyasha stirred next to her and she heard his groan right before he rolled to his side to snuggle with her.

"Inuyasha!" she giggled. He grabbed her and pulled her closer, trapping her with his arm and leg that he draped over her. She laughed and tried to push him off, but he wouldn't budge. "Ugh." She resigned to her fate and ran her hand over his.

Inuyasha smirked and chuckled, nuzzling into her hair so that he could kiss her neck. "Good morning, my love."

She froze, shocked by his words. 'What did he say?'

He felt her body's stiff reaction and licked her neck, hoping to soothe her. "What's wrong?" he asked, his face still buried against the pillow and in her neck and hair.

She shook her head. "I just... I wasn't expecting that." But for some reason it caused a warm feeling to bloom in her stomach, giving her butterflies.

"Well you are the love of my life."

She blinked, her heart racing in pure joy at his words . It was amazing as to how much can change in one night. "So... are we back together?"

He chuckled slightly. "We never broke up," he said, his eyes still closed, savoring the smell of all that was Kagome. He was too comfortable and too at peace to want to look at what time it was. Kagome's scent cocooned him and he had never felt such peace and comfort before. He held her tighter against his chest, never wanting to let her go again.

"But... you said we moved too fast..." Inuyasha sighed, blowing warm air against her skin, giving her the goosebumps. Kagome tried to turn her head to look at him but she could only see his temple and cheek. He looked like his eyes were closed. "Inuyasha?"

"It's my turn to share something with you..." he confessed. Inuyasha let himself go there. He let himself remember without getting drowned in anger and self-loathing, and he found that it was all thanks to Kagome that he didn't feel overwhelmed with his emotions. Her presence and her scent reminded him that she loved him, that he had her, and that nothing else mattered in the world except for her.

Kagome kept quiet, knowing that this time, it was his turn to share and for her to listen. Last night he had been such a great listener, not getting too angry or interrupting her, and she appreciated that because she was able to get it all out. Now, she wanted to be that listening ear for him. She wanted to offer him comfort and solace, to let him know that he could tell her anything and she would listen. And still love him.

"My family is royal blood in the youkai world. My father was a daimyo and he ruled over the Western Lands during the feudal era. Over his many conquests, he's had a lot of betrayers and a lot of alliances. One alliance was made with another daimyo who was also an inuyoukai but he had surrendered to my father. His name is Takeda. He and his mate had a daughter named Kiyomi, an inuyoukai." He paused, shifting so that he could feel the softness of Kagome's body beneath him, bringing more of his over hers possessively. "Kiyomi and I were around the same age. She was about a decade older than me. We grew up together as children and became close friends."

Kagome frowned, wondering who this woman was. She had never heard of Inuyasha being with another woman before. None of the tabloids ever talked about Inuyasha being with a woman and she had always wondered why. Yes, people gossiped that he was gay or that he was a playboy, but no one really knew. And she had never thought to ask. She was so busy hiding her past that she hadn't thought to ask about his. 'Did he love her?'

"We grew up together for about fifty years. When I was fifty, I talked to my parents about mating Kiyomi." He felt Kagome stiffen and he opened his eyes, moving up so that he could look at her. "Hey... I love you."

Kagome gave him a small smile, trying to contain her emotions. She realized, just now, how jealous of a person she was. Just the thought of him mating with another woman, being with another woman, sleeping with another woman... just thinking of that brought on a jealous streak in her that she had never known she had. "Sorry... I'm listening."

"I know..." he said, kissing her briefly before resuming his position holding her and he continued. "I talked to my parents about it and they talked to Kiyomi's parents about it. Both families agreed to the mating but my mother was the only one who didn't."

Kagome found that interesting. She knew and could see how much his mother loved him. She was very affectionate with her son, always teasing him or telling him that she loved him, which Kagome found so endearing. But to think that Izayoi didn't want Inuyasha to mate with Kiyomi, when her son's happiness seemed to be an important thing to her, could only mean that Izayoi had her suspicions about their relationship. Something must've happened to send off warning signs to a mother.

"I got into an argument with my mother when I asked her why she didn't want me to mate with Kiyomi. My mother just told me that she was worried that I was confusing my love for Kiyomi. She didn't think that I loved her as a true mate. She saw our love as a childhood affection that got mistaken for a true mate's love. But I dismissed her and told her she was wrong. I was prideful and didn't listen to her, but she gave me her blessing anyway because she only wanted me to be happy." He sighed deeply. "I should've listened to her... and I should've listened to my instinct. But I ignored both of them and just wanted to be with Kiyomi. Both of us loved each other and we had spent so much time and years together that we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. But there was still something within me, my demon perhaps, that told me not to mate with her. Something gave me doubts, and I blamed my mother for it. I thought it was her doing for planting that seed of doubt in me but I think it was my demon telling me that she wasn't the one. Either way... I listened. We never mated, but we were together for a hundred years."

'Wow...' She couldn't imagine being with someone for one hundred years. It had to take a deep love to want to be with that person for so long. That saddened her, but she quickly pushed it away. She wanted to listen and to not judge too quickly, even though she felt such deep jealousy for this woman who had Inuyasha's heart for a hundred years while she only had him for maybe a week or so.

"Over the years, demons have been killed off in wars or just hunted to the brink of extinction. Some species are extinct while others are barely surviving and making a comeback for their species. The demon blood of species has been mixed with humans or other demons and over time, it's rare to find pure-blooded demons, let alone half-demons. In this day and age, where the world doesn't believe in demons and monsters anymore, there is value in keeping the demon bloodline going, no matter how diluted or how pure. The demon world might be hidden with concealment spells and the human's lack of faith which makes them unable to see our true forms, but there are still a lot of demons and half-demons in Japan. Much more than you probably think."

Kagome nodded, understanding what he meant. She may have had a small taste of the demon world with Koga and his family, but she knew that they existed. She had always believed in them as a child and was able to see demons at a young age, especially since many were her friends in the homeless camps. She just didn't know the depth of how big the demon race was.

"Anyway... I think Kiyomi felt the pressure to produce and to help continue the inuyoukai bloodline. She was Takeda's and Tomiko's only child and she must've been pressured to conceive. She also desperately wanted a child, as did I. We had talked about it many times before we were officially together and the both of us wanted a family. But as fate would have it... hanyous are... sterile."

Kagome shifted, hearing the sadness and heartache in his voice as he slowly got the words out. "Inuyasha..." She turned enough so that she was facing him, but he wouldn't let her go and kept her close to him as she shifted to her side. "I'm so sorry..." She placed her hand on his cheek, pushing his hair back so that she could see him clearly. His eyes opened and his golden eyes were full of pain and sadness, but his small smile gave her a little bit of hope.

"At the time... we never understood nor did we have the research to prove that it was all hanyous who were sterile. I thought it was just me... that I was a failure. I couldn't even get her pregnant," he said with a disgusted chuckle.

"Hey, don't do that to yourself," she said, hearing his anger and self-loathing. "It's not your fault. You didn't ask for it and there was nothing you couldn't done to stop it or to even know." She hated that he blamed himself for that, for not being able to give himself and Kiyomi what they wanted. She could only imagine that he felt less than a man for that, and she didn't want him to think of himself like that.

Inuyasha smiled sadly, so thankful that he had Kagome. It was hard to tell her his deepest shame and regret, but he was so grateful and shocked as to how she took it. She only thought to comfort him. She truly was beautiful. "My mother is a doctor and had later discovered that all hanyous are sterile. They believe it was nature's way to prevent cross-mating between demons and humans. Whatever the reason... I couldn't even get Kiyomi pregnant, so nature be damned."

Kagome rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. She couldn't imagine what it might've been like growing up knowing that. When he had wanted to have a family and to find out that he could never have one, that would be devastating and life-altering. "How did Kiyomi take it?"

Inuyasha snickered. "She left me."

Kagome gasped, staring at him in shock. "What?"

He arched his eyebrows up quickly. "Yup. Guess I was right in listening to my gut instinct."

"What do you mean?"

"True mates wouldn't leave one another like that," he tried to explain. He didn't want to go too deep into it yet. Not yet. That conversation of mates would come later. It had to because she was his true mate and he would have to explain to her what life would be like between them from here on out. Maybe being mates wasn't what would scare her away. Maybe the fact that he can't reproduce would be a reason why she would leave him. The thought alone brought a heaviness to his heart, especially since it felt like they were just starting to mend the pain between them. "If Kiyomi was my mate, she wouldn't have left me just because we couldn't have children. Even if the both of us wanted kids that badly, which we did, a mate wouldn't leave just because of that. The love and connection that a mate has for the other is strong and unbreakable. But apparently... Kiyomi and I weren't true mates. She didn't love me as much as I loved her."

Kagome frowned, wondering who this Kiyomi was. She wondered if it would be okay to meet the woman one day, but that thought came and went. She wasn't sure if she ever wanted to meet the woman who had Inuyasha's heart, soul and body at one time in history. The thought alone made her jealous and yet she wanted to have a talk with this woman who hurt Inuyasha and give the woman a piece of her mind.

"And that's where you and I come in..." Inuyasha said with a smile, catching Kagome's attention. His change in mood suddenly shifted, making her wonder what he meant. "I meant what I said when I said that you are my mate, that you are the love of my life. You are my true mate, Kagome."

She blinked a few times in confusion and wonder. "But... how do you know?"

"Because my demon knows. I told you. I knew the first day I saw you at your audition. It was your scent, an inuyoukai's greatest sense, that told me you were mine. I never felt that primitive instinct before with Kiyomi. Only with you. And at first I didn't know what it meant. My human mind was trying to comprehend it and to rationalize and explain things away. My human wanted to fall in love with you first, like any human would. But a demon doesn't need love to know his mate. On some deeper level, we love our mates even before we meet them because they are the other half to our soul, the only one who can complete us and make us feel whole. So maybe there is a sense of love we feel for them without even meeting them because we know that they are the only ones for us. But since I'm half-human, I wanted to get to know you first the 'normal' way before I listened to my gut instinct and believed that you were my mate."

She listened to his words and could understand most of it. It all seemed like a fairytale, like prince charming coming to find his princess that he knows is out there, lost without him. Some sort of fairytale where it could be love at first sight, or where there was only one man for one woman. She knew things like this were only in fairytales, that was something she learned because she lived in the real world. She had seen the horrible things life had to offer, the horrible emotion called 'love' and knew that love was only for the lucky.

Inuyasha snuggled her closer to him, kissing the top of her head. "I'll explain everything to you about mates later. For now, just believe me when I tell you that you're the one and only love of my life."

Kagome saw the sincerity in his eyes and heard the ring of truth in his voice. She smiled, truly touched that she could mean so much to someone. She had never meant anything to anyone, not even her parents. And now she was someone's love of their life, someone's mate. That was a huge shift for her. "Inuyasha... I've never meant anything to anyone," she admitted softly, frowning. "I'm used to being alone. I've always been independent and I've always taken care of myself."

"You don't have to worry about that anymore," he said, interrupting her. "I will take care of you, Kagome."

She felt tears spring to her eyes, her throat closing up quickly at his simple statement. His words touched her on some deeper level, in some way she had never expected. All her life she had been running, trying to stay alive, taking care of everyone else and herself all at the same time. All her life she never had anyone who cared for her, who took care of her, who worried about her and cherished her. And here was this man in front of her who was willing to chase away all her worries and demons, who was willing to be her knight in shining armor. Like a fairytale.

"Inuyasha... I love you... more than you know..."

He smiled softly and moved to kiss her tenderly. Her lips felt so soft against his as he allowed himself the luxury of tasting her, for just a moment. She eagerly let him in and he tightened his hold on her, drowning in all that was Kagome. She tasted so good, even though both of them just woke up and hadn't brushed their teeth. To him, she was perfect in every way. He broke the kiss and stared at her, seeing the flush that rose on her skin. He could smell the sweet scent of her arousal and he wanted more of it. He moved to give her another kiss, roughly plunging his tongue into her mouth, earning him a moan at his sudden aggression.

"That was one of my fears..." he confessed, kissing the side of her mouth, down to her neck. "That you didn't love me as much as I loved you." He licked her neck, hearing her moan and her head tilted up, giving him better access. He smiled. "That's why I ran that day at the academy," he said, resuming his kissing on her neck. "I didn't want to be hurt again. I didn't want to waste my time loving someone who didn't love me the way I loved them. So I left you to protect myself from heartache."

"Mmmm, I gave you a reason to leave," she said, her eyes closed, loving the way he made her feel. She brought her hand onto his head, running her fingers into his hair to hold him there against her. "I couldn't tell you how much you meant to me. It scared me to know how much power you had over me. I love you so much. And you could easily destroy me."

"So can you, Kagome," he whispered, feeling the depth of his love for her just too strong for him to run from. He had tried so hard to give her time, to let her get comfortable with him, especially after hearing everything that she shared last night. But right now, he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her. To make her his. She belonged to him the same way he belonged to her. And the urge to connect with his mate- body and soul- was strong.

Inuyasha kissed her neck and shifted so that he was half on top of her, rolling her to her back. She went willingly while holding his head to her neck, moaning at the way he kissed her. Both of her hands were on his head now, her fingers in his hair, bringing him closer to her. Her sweet smell, the soft hints of her faint arousal, being ignited by his kisses only inflamed him further. He sucked on her neck softly, tampering his need to place his mark on her, however way he could. That rewarded him with a swift intake of breath and her body arched into him, making him smile.

"You're so sensitive..." he whispered against her neck, sucking again.

"Ahhh..." she moaned, her mind lost to sensation. "Inuyasha..." She was lost in the way he made her feel and the things he did to her body. She wanted him. More than she wanted any man before. "No one's ever touched me the way you do."

"Except for your father and ex," he said, his voice dark and menacing.

She shook her head. "No. No one's touched me like you do..." she said, smiling. "Your touch is... loving. I'm not afraid of your touch."

Inuyasha brought his head up to look at her. Her eyes opened and those blue orbs were a sparkling, deep blue. His chest hurt looking at her, realizing how much she meant to him. He moved and kissed her, surprised when she responded eagerly. She opened her mouth to him and brought her hands down to his shoulders, running her fingers all along his skin. Her moans turned him on even more. He propped himself up on his right elbow and placed his left hand on her chest, running his hand beneath her robe. She didn't stiffen at his touch, but instead she moaned and moved her chest up into his touch. He kissed her like a drunk man, greedily wanting her pleasure for his own. His hand moved over her breast, earning him another moan as her nails ran along his skin until she gripped his biceps, pulling at him as if they could never be close enough. He rubbed his thumb along her nipple until it hardened under his touch. He wanted to taste her skin, to suckle on her breast and hear her moans.

Suddenly, he moved back, breaking their kiss abruptly and startling Kagome. He looked down to where his hand was beneath the robe, running his finger along a long bump beneath her right breast. "What is this?"

Kagome knew what he was talking about and her mood immediately shifted. He could feel her hesitancy, especially since she didn't answer him, even though her blue eyes were locked on his like a trapped prey. She was frightened.

He softened his voice while still running his index finger along what felt like a scar. "Kagome... tell me what this is." He wanted to see for himself how big the scar was and he needed to know what happened. He watched as she licked her lips and bit her bottom lip. "Kagome..."

"I told you I have a lot of scars..." she said softly, turning her head from him. She dropped her hands from his biceps, one hand going to hold her robe closed as much as she could with his hand still beneath it while the other laid over where his hand was. She was too ashamed to show him her body with her scars. No one has seen them before. And it pained her to think about how she received them. "My ex was very possessive of me. No matter how much I begged for him to let me go, no matter how much I told him that I didn't love him and that I didn't want to be with him, he wouldn't let me go and he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. That was why he handcuffed me to the bed. He knew that I would run and try to escape when he was gone."

Inuyasha kept running his fingers along her scar and his intense gaze held no judgment or condemnation. He simply stared at her, listening to every word. And with every touch against her skin, she felt like he was chasing away her demons. "One day, I made the decision to leave. Either I got out of there or I died trying. But I was no longer going to be his sex slave." She recalled that day, so long ago, when she had devised a plan. She was going to wait for that time in the night when he released her from her cuffs, after he had his way with her for the night. Koga would always have sex with her before he slept and he would wash her and himself before they turned in for the night. "My ex would always bathe me at night after he had his way with me, and then take a shower himself and do his nightly routine before he came to bed. It was then that I decided that while he left me on the bed to wait for him, I would run. I snuck out of the room while he was in the shower and I ran. I blindly remember the hallway as I ran. I vaguely remember the layout of his home since he always kept me in his room and rarely let me out. But I ran until I got to the landing between the two staircases that were on either side of the second floor. I looked over the railing and noticed no one was downstairs so I was about to run down the stairs and out the door when he suddenly appeared behind me."

She closed her eyes and remembered that night.

-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-

Kagome jumped, startled, and fearfully took a step back until she hit the railing of the landing. "Koga..."

He stood there with nothing but his towel around his waist, as if he had just finished his shower and noticed that she was gone. He was a wolf-demon, nonetheless, and could've sensed by smell and hearing that she wasn't in the room. He monitored her every move and was that controlling of her. She knew she only had minutes, possibly seconds, to run out the room and out the front door before he noticed she was gone. But she didn't know he would've come to find her so soon. Her heart rate accelerated out of fear. He did not look happy, but he also did not look angry, which terrified her even more.

"Where are you going, Kagome?"

His voice was threatening, low, but he asked it as if he was talking to a rebellious child and he already knew the answer. He was just toying with her, like he always did. He loved to incite her fear. Her fear turned him on and it gave him a sense of control and satisfaction. Right now, his demeanor and lack of anger spoke volumes when his voice didn't.

"I... I was..." She couldn't find words. She didn't know what to say. He knew what she was trying to do so what could she say. The only thing she could think of was to try and pacify him so that she wouldn't be severely punished. "Koga..."

"You want to leave?"

He took a step toward her, making her press her back against the railing of the landing as hard as she could. She turned her head from him and looked down, shrinking into herself and trying to make herself as small as she could. If she could curl up into a ball, she would, to prevent herself from being beaten too severely. "No... I wasn't..."

"Don't lie to me," he said, cutting her off. One last step and he was right up to the side of her, a little off her right shoulder where she was looking down. He bent down closer to her face, grabbing her chin to make her look at him. His light-green eyes held hers and he had a wicked smile on his face, staring into her frightened blue eyes. "You want to leave?" he asked again, squeezing her cheeks, expecting a response.

She flinched and shut her eyes at the sudden pain. "Yes," she whispered. There was an eerie silence as he just held her face with his hand, his face mere inches from hers. She dared not open her eyes to see the fury in his gaze after telling him, once again, that she wanted to leave him. But the stretch of silence was nerve-wracking and every fiber in her was terrified as to what he was planning to do with her now. There would be consequences.

After what seemed like an eternity, Koga suddenly released her face. She released the breath she was holding with relief, hoping that his punishment wasn't going to be too severe.

"Then go."

She felt his hand press against her chest and her eyes went wide. The last thing she saw was the dead look in his eyes as he pushed her back, over the railing. It took her a second to realize what he was doing, as if everything was going in slow motion, and she tried to reach out for his hand to grab onto it, but it was too late. Koga pushed her over the railing of the second floor with one hand, and all she remembered was the drop in her stomach and the weightlessness of the fall. The only thing that ran through her head as she stared at the ceiling was that she was relieved to finally meet death.

The next thing she knew was that she woke up to a world of pain. Her head was pounding and she squinted her eyes at the shooting pain in her head. But that pain was less than the pain she felt in her entire body, especially her chest. She realized that she was lying on the floor and as she tried to move her head, her head was lying in a warm liquid. She opened her eyes and saw blood everywhere. Her blood. And some of it was in her eye. Kagome coughed as she felt blood come up from her throat, oozing its way out onto the floor. She tried to take assessment of what happened, of where she was injured. She tried to move her hands and legs but found that she could only move her legs and one arm. Pain shot through every limb, muscle and inch of her body. But her chest hurt the most. She coughed again, blood coming out of her mouth, and looked up to see two figures standing in the doorway that led to what she remembered was the living room.

Koga's parents stood there, staring at her with a blank expression, doing absolutely nothing to help her. She could vaguely here them speaking but couldn't make out much since her head was ringing.

"Koga... what... to her?" That was his father's voice.

"Leave her. She... leave me." That was Koga's voice. She recognized their voices but could barely make out what they were saying. She was going in and out.

"Fine. Do... as you will." With that, both of his parents turned around and walked away, back into the living room. Neither of them came to help her. Neither of them offered to care for her wounds or take her to the hospital. And where was Koga? Was he still at the top of the stairs? She heard his voice but she couldn't see him. Was he going to leave her like this? It wasn't until a few minutes later did she discover the answer to her own question.

-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-

"He left me there the whole night," Kagome explained, staring at her hand over Inuyasha's. "I'm surprised I didn't bleed out. Early the next morning, before the sun rose, he came downstairs to check on me. I guess I was in a bad state and he didn't want me to die," she said with contempt, wishing he did. "No. He'd rather have me stay alive as his than to have me die and leave him." She let herself feel the hatred she felt for Koga. All that time, the only thing she felt for him was fear and loathing. Hatred came later. At that time, when she realized that he tried to kill her and that even as she tried to die he wouldn't allow her the decency of death... that was when she truly hated him. She hated him for denying her the release from the pain and from him. She hated him for leaving her there all night long in agonizing pain from what he did to her, from pushing her over the railing. She hated him for claiming that 'that' was love. She hated him for loving her.

"Anyway... he came to check on me before the sun rose and finally told his men to take me to the hospital but to make sure that no one asked questions and no one saw me. His men just needed to get me into the hospital quietly and discreetly. He didn't want his family name to be tarnished, I guess," she said with a shrug. "Whatever his reason, his men took me to the hospital before the sun rose and no one saw us go through the back of the hospital. I was checked in and evaluated and I had my own private room. His two men always took shifts in guarding me so that I wouldn't run and escape. Later I found out that I had lost almost three liters of blood and the doctor said that I was lucky to have been brought in when I was because I could've died from blood loss. I had broken my right arm and shattered my right knee. Apparently I fell more on my right side and the impact of the fall had broken one of my ribs and the bone protruded out of body. That's why I have that scar under my breast... No one knows about it," she whispered, as if she hoped that not even Inuyasha would've found out. But the scar was there. And it wasn't that small. It was small enough that no one could tell it was there when she wore bikinis and sports bras, especially since the size of her breasts sort of covered the scar from really showing. It was still, however, a scar that was noticeable and that had traumatic memories for her.

Kagome brought her hands up, running the hand she had over his up that arm while her other went to his neck, stroking his pulse with her thumb. She looked up at him and smiled, wanting him to know there was a happy ending to all that. "I was in the hospital for a week, weak from the blood loss for the first couple of days and then trying to recover. I was in splints and had gone through a handful of surgeries to repair my knee and my arm, and of course my rib. The funny thing about it is that he caused me those injuries and yet blamed that it was my fault since I wanted to leave him, and still he paid for all those surgeries," she said with a shake of her head. She would never be able to understand Koga and she never wanted to. She sighed. "Anyway... after a week of lying in the hospital bed, I took inventory of how many men he had stationed outside my room and when their breaks were. I timed everything, even when my ex would come to visit, and I made mental notes of which doctors and nurses he talked to as if they might try to prevent me from leaving if they were working for him too. I think the staff there feared his family and I heard many of them telling one another not to let anyone know I was there. One night, I planned my escape. I knew at just the right time when the bodyguard would leave for a bathroom break, and I knew when the nurses did their rounds. I got out of bed, tore out all the needles I was hooked up to, unplugged the monitor from the wall, and left the room. I was able to sneak past the nurse's station and down the hall, taking the stairs and I found my way out. And I ran... Even with the shooting pain in my leg and my rib and my arm... I ran for my life. I ended up going to a homeless camp I knew of nearby. I found some of my old neighbors and borrowed their clothes. They gave me some water and food and I kept moving. I went to another homeless camp because I knew he would track me and send his men out to find me. The next morning I left the island. I got on the next ferry to Kure in Hiroshima and I took the next train as far north as I could, away from Shikoku." She wasn't going to tell him how she had pawned her wedding rings in order to get the money to take the ferry and the bullet train. She didn't want him to know that she was married. Not yet. There were some things she still wasn't ready to tell him... like working at Midnite too.

"Inuyasha?" His quietness alarmed her. He had stopped feeling her scar halfway through her story and was silently listening and watching her. But now she just wanted to know what he thought. What was he thinking? What was he thinking of her? She stared at his golden eyes and saw sadness and anger, such a strange mixture but she recognized it. It was in the way he was so stiff and quiet that made her realize he just didn't know what to say. "Hey..." she said, reaching both her hands up to either side of his face. "Talk to me."

After a moment, Inuyasha frowned, moving his hand out of her robe to wrap under her shoulder so that he could lie half of his body on her as he held her against him. "Kagome..." he breathed, his head in the crook of her neck, giving her goosebumps.

Kagome wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight, lying her cheek against the top of his head. "Im fine, Yasha. I'm here. I changed my life around and I'm never going back." She would rather die than have Koga get his hands on her again, that was for damn sure.

There was a knock on the door that startled the both of them. Inuyasha's head came up and he stared down at her, taking a moment to soak the sight of her in. Her sad smile and the haunting look in her eyes told him all that he needed to know. Here was a woman that was used to pain and suffering. She came from a hostile and unloving family who didn't deserve her and who didn't take care of her. She came from an abusive and evil relationship with a demon who did not deserve any woman. She was an independent woman, controlling of her life and always with her guard up against anyone who might threaten her safety. Here was a woman that he understood a lot more now. He understood why she didn't like men to touch her and he understood why she was always so secretive, why she seemed to be okay with being alone and why she never liked to show her feelings so much. She was just trying to protect herself, a thing she instinctually did and has mastered well since childhood. For Kagome, she was always alone and she was used to being alone. Being loved was so foreign to her that she didn't know how to act, how to accept it and how to reciprocate it. She didn't know what true love was. This was his woman.

"That's probably my mother," Inuyasha said, breaking the silence between them. "We should get ready. She's got a lot planned for us today and she'll keep knocking on everyone's door until we all wake up and get downstairs," he said unapologetically.

Kagome smiled, the thought making her laugh after this rollercoaster of a night and morning. "Okay."

Inuyasha moved off her and went to sit as he draped his legs over the side of the bed. He turned to look back at her, seeing her blue eyes on him and her smile. Her smile told him to forget about everything that they just shared. Her smile told him that everything is going to be okay and that today was going to be a good day, no matter the ugliness and horrors that she had seen and experienced in her life. Kagome's resilience and strength humbled him, and gave him pause.

"I love you," he said, smiling back at her.

Kagome reached up to stroke his forearm in affection. "I love you too, more than you know."

"I'll see you in a little bit." With that, he stood and walked towards the door, leaving her there. As much as he wanted to stay, he needed some space to think. A lot has happened within the past twenty-four hours, hell, a few hours. And he was feeling a lot of emotions. Anger. Rage. Violence. Sadness. Pain. Sympathy. Helplessness. On one hand, he felt like a failure. He was alive, in this world, while she had been living through all of this. His mate. When she needed him the most, he wasn't there. He felt helpless to help her, not knowing where they needed to go from here and how he could help her overcome all those feelings and pain she had. How could he tell her that beneath those scars and those walls she had, that all he saw was a beautiful, strong woman? Anger and rage and violence. Those were the emotions that he was trying to keep controlled because he knew himself enough to know that if he allowed himself, those emotions would keep him up as long as needed until he found her ex boyfriend and killed the man with his own hands. That was what he wanted, no, needed to do to suffice the bloodlust he felt. But that satisfaction would come later. He just needed to keep those emotions under control while still feeding them the pleasure and satisfaction of getting closer to his ultimate goal. Revenge.

Inuyasha made it to the door and opened it up. He wasn't expecting to see Sango there, and apparently neither did she. Sango's eyes went wide as she took in his appearance, which he only now remembered that he had nothing on but his boxer-briefs. He could care less since she had seen him like this before, living together. The look on Sango's face was priceless.

"Morning," he muttered as he walked past Sango. He opened his bedroom door and shut it behind him, his mind lost and numb as he went about his morning routine. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to put a smile on and go downstairs to celebrate Miroku and Sango. He pictured Kagome's smiling face and thought of how often she had had to do that- always put on a smiling face when within she was anything but. He would do it for her, for Miroku and Sango. And this dark need within him would have to wait. Good things come to those who wait.


Sorry again for being so late. I hope my grammar wasn't that bad because I sped read through this chapter, proofreading quickly, because I wanted to get it out. Let me know what you thought of this emotional chapter. These two will definitely have a lot to "say" in the next chapter ;)