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Chapter 12: Theories
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DING DONG! DING DONG!
Amara jumped up to get the front door. She knew right away that it had to be Jules. Not only was she the only one who rang twice in a row like that, but also Amara had just got off the phone with her moments earlier.
"Okay what's up with you?" Jules started as soon as the door swung open.
"What are you talking about?" Amara answered back with a question. She moved aside and let her friend in. "I'm fine."
"You are far from fine," Amara retorted. She removed her winter jacket and hung it over the banister. "You've been acting weird the last couple of weeks."
"I am fine," Amara insisted turning her back on Jules and heading for the kitchen. "And I have not been acting weird…I'm just a little stressed out right now."
"Stressed out?" Jules gave her friend a quizzical look. "What could you possibly have to be stressed out about? You have all slacker courses this year since you got all your credits last year. What could possible be stressing you out?"
"I don't know what it is," Amara shot back. "You're the one that says I'm acting weird so obviously you have some theory as to why."
"As a matter of fact I do," Jules said. She took a seat on a bar stool facing Amara across the island. Amara looked at her expectantly. "Where's your mom tonight?"
Amara let out a small growl. "Out with Mel Cummings again."
"Okay there's theory number one right there."
"Alright, I admit it," Amara put up her hands in defeat. "I don't like my mom dating."
"Have you talked to her about it?"
"I can't," Amara confessed. "It's kinda weird. I tried to talk to Bryan about it but he told me I needed to be more accepting of it and yadda yadda." Amara rolled her eyes.
"You miss your brother too don't you?"
"Of course I do. I hate it that he's so far away." Amara absentmindedly twirled a knife on the counter in front of her. "Poor Leanne is planning the wedding without him."
"Isn't she going down to see him soon?" Jules asked.
"Yeah, in two weeks or something," Amara replied. "Vicki and Neil are going along too."
"They're leaving Holly and Kai together?"
"No, Holly is staying with her grandparents." Amara's attention was mostly focused on the knife twirling in front of her. "Kai is by himself."
"Reason number three right there," Jules said with a triumphant smile. Amara looked up at her friend completely confused.
"Reason three for what?"
"My three reasons as to why you're acting so weird these days," Jules replied. "Number one…" Jules counted off on her fingers. "You mom dating. Number two is your brother being so far away again and number three is Kai."
"Those are great theories, Jules," Amara said quickly losing interest in the topic. Kai was the last thing she wanted to discuss. "But that's all they are…theories."
"You like him admit it," Jules accused.
Amara's eyes narrowed. "I don't like him." She crossed her arms dramatically against her chest.
"You're such a child sometimes you know that." Jules just rolled her eyes. "I'm supposed to be your best friend. You can tell me."
Amara huffed. She wasn't really sure how she felt about Kai that was something that had been plaguing her Amara finally admitted after a few minutes of silence. "I don't know how I really feel about Kai."
"Now that's better," Jules smiled. "This we can work with."
"Work with?" Amara raised a brow in question. "What do you mean work with?"
"So how do you feel when you're around him?" Jules asked.
"What are you my shrink?" Amara groaned. "This is not a conversation I want to be having."
"Why not? Don't you want to figure out how you feel about him?"
"Yes…but that just complicates things," Amara replied. "Things are moving slow. We're just trying to be friends again. Me having feelings for him will just make things awkward."
"Fair enough," Jules sighed feeling a little defeated. "You make a good point. What happens happens. When you both finally confront the facts we can all breath easier."
"What?" Amara looked completely confused.
"Never mind," Jules said with a smile. "Come on I'll buy you a slurpee."
"Jules, it's the middle of February," Amara said.
"Fine, I'll buy you a hot chocolate." Jules grabbed her jacket and headed for the front door. Amara took her own jacket from the hook on the wall and headed out the door after her friend.
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"I can't believe she's doing this," Amara said stubbornly.
"You shouldn't be whining to me," her brother said back. "This is long distance."
"I can't very well whine to mom about it now can I," Amara snapped back indignantly.
"Ams, this is not a conversation I want to be having with you right now," Bryan replied sternly. "Leanne and her parents are going to be here any minute, I will talk to you later."
"But I want to talk about this now."
"Then you're going to have to find someone else to talk about it with," Bryan said. Amara easily picked up on the finality of his tone. "Good bye Ams."
"Bye," Amara grumbled and hung up the phone.
Amara automatically flicked on the TV. It was more out of habit then actually wanting to watch something. For the third straight Friday in a row her mom was out with Mel Cummings and she was home with nothing to do. Unfortunately for Amara, Jules and Johnny were at a family dinner at Jules' grandmother's house. The plan was to go prom dress shopping the next day but Amara needed to talk to someone sooner rather that later. She knew if she stayed at home she was just going to drive herself crazy with her own thoughts.
Amara shut off the TV and headed for the front door. She grabbed her jacket and slipped into her ratty skater shoes. Without much thought as to where she was going, Amara started to walk. Had she thought things through more she probably wouldn't have gone out in the dark by herself but her mind was on other things. She needed to talk to someone. The only person that came to mind just happened to live just down the road.
Amara hoped Kai would be home. There was no real guarantee since his parents were in California and it was a Friday night. He was her last resort of course. There were plenty of cars in front of the Hiwatari residence; more cars than usual. There was the faint sound of music pounding, as Amara got closer. She stood at the foot of the driveway. He obviously had some friends over.
Amara strongly considered turning back and just wallowing in her own misery at home but she found herself trudging up the driveway towards the door. The music got even louder. Amara rang the doorbell but she didn't think anyone would really hear it. To her surprise the door swung open only a few seconds after she rang it.
Kai teetered a little as he opened the door, a beer bottle in his hand. His eyes narrowed as he squinted to make out the person standing in front of him.
"Amara!" He exclaimed. She wasn't sure if he was happy to see her or not. "Amara is here!" He shouted again. Amara wasn't really sure who he was talking to but he didn't seem to care. "Oh shit, Amara's here," His beaming smile faltered and he seemed to be glaring at her.
"What're you doing here Ams?" Kai asked bringing his voice down so Amara was the only one who could really hear him.
"I came to see you," Amara snapped back suddenly feeling angry. "But I can see you're a little busy right now."
"You wanted to see me?" Kai asked looking a little stunned. "You actually wanted to see me?" Amara rolled her eyes. He seemed thrilled by this. "Wow! I'm honored."
Kai's ramblings were cut off by a loud crash from the living room. He moved quickly from the door to investigate leaving Amara in the doorway. Against her better judgment she followed him in.
There were plenty of people in the living room. They were a lot of the same people Amara had seen at the other party. And at this moment most of them were staring at her. Kai was busy standing over a lamp and side table that one of his drunken friends had knocked over.
"Hey, wanna beer?" Amara looked down at a guy sitting on a couch below her in the Hiwatari's sunken living room. The guy pulled a beer out of the cooler sitting on the floor beside him. "Do…you…want a beer?" the guy repeated again in a slurred voice. He annunciated the words slowly as if Amara was the drunk one.
Amara stepped down into the living room and walked over to the guy. She picked up the cooler. "Thanks," she said flatly and walked towards the kitchen.
"Dude, I offered you one," the guy called after her. Amara just kept walking.
Amara was furious. Kai was so stupid. She felt so stupid. Why did she even bother trying to talk to him? She was busy scolding herself as she one by one took the beer bottles out of the cooler, cracked them open and poured the amber liquid down the drain.
"What the hell?" Amara turned around to see the same guy who had offered her the beer standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Why are you wasting our beer?" Amara hesitated a little but only continued with her task. The guy continued to scream at her. As he did, he was also moving closer to her. "If you didn't want any you could have just said so!" The guy grabbed her wrist.
"Get away from me!" Amara screamed. She struggled for freedom from his grip.
Kai's drunk friends seemed to gravitate towards the shouting. The sight of her pouring their liquid gold down the sink didn't seem to sit well with any of them. There was even more shouting and others joined the first drunk guy's fight to get Amara away from their beer.
Kai soon made his way into the kitchen as well to see what all the screaming was about.
"Get off of her!" he bellowed at his friends and easily shoved them off of Amara. Kai stood protectively between her and the guys. "What the hell do you guys think you're doing?"
His friends stepped back and glowered at Amara.
"The little wench was pouring our stuff down the sink," one of the growled.
Kai looked down at the five empty beer bottles now sitting on the counter beside the sink and then at Amara. There was no remorse in her eyes just pure hatred pointed directly at him. She was disgusted and upset and he knew it was his fault.
"Who died and made you the beer police?" One of Kai's overly intoxicated friends managed to grumble at Amara.
Amara's heart began to pound in her ears. She could feel the warm tears forming in the corners of her eyes but she was too angry to let them fall. "My father," Amara replied through clenched teeth.
The room fell silent. Amara felt Kai's hand on her arm. Some of the girls in the room gave sympathetic looks but the majority of the people looked like they wanted to kill her.
"That doesn't bring back our beer," another one of the guys shouted at her. "You can go to hell with him you little b…"
SMASH!
Before the guy could finish the shattering of glass drowned him out. Amara slammed down the half empty beer bottle with all her might. This caused a few of the girls to scream and more commotion. Kai looked down at Amara but she was gone. He moved quickly to follow her.
"Rei," Kai stopped. "Get everyone out." Rei nodded and Kai continued on his way. He knew he could trust Rei to get everyone off safely.
Kai headed straight for the door and rushed out on to the street. He didn't see Amara though. It didn't seem possible that she could be out of sight that fast. He looked around franticly for any sign of which way she went. There was a couple walking their dog down the street. Kai rushed over to them.
"Did you see a red head girl run past this way?" Kai asked hoping he sounded coherent. They probably thought he was crazy outside in only a t-shirt on a cold February night.
"Nope," the man answered kindly. "No one has been around."
Kai nodded his thanks and turned back to his house. His so-called friends were slowly exiting. He pushed through the crowd and back in to the house. The buzz from the alcohol was causing his head to pound. His heart was pounding for an entirely different reason.
The only other possibility was to search the house. So Kai moved for the staircase bounding up two at a time.
"Ams!" He called on his way up. He checked Holly's room first which was to the left and then on to Leanne's right beside it. Next he crossed the hall to his own room. "Amara!" He continued to call as he went. "Am…" his voice stumbled as he opened the door to find her curled up in a ball in the corner of his unmade bed.
"Ams." He moved to her quickly and pulled her to him.
"Get away from me!" She shrieked, struggling against his hold. "You're drunk!"
Amara got off the bed at just stood there staring at him, hugging herself. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her cheeks were soaked with tears. Kai wanted to hold her and comfort her. Seeing her so upset seemed to sober him up a little.
"Amara, please." He moved slowly to get off the bed. In turn she moved further away. "Squirt…"
"Stop calling me that!" Amara snapped as she sniffed back more tears. "That makes it sound like we're friends."
"I thought we were friends, Ams," Kai replied calmly.
"So did I," Amara said softly. She wiped her wet cheeks with the sleeve of her sweatshirt "That's why I came here in the first place." She threw her arms up in the arm dramatically. "I needed a friend to talk to so I came here and…and…you're throwing a party. Getting drunk." Amara was pacing back and forth as she spoke.
"While your parents are away…you're not even old enough to buy beer. You answer the door completely out of it…I…I…" Amara stopped pacing and stared Kai straight in the eyes. "I can't do it, Kai." She declared softly. "I just can't." Her eyes dropped their stare.
"What can't you do?" Kai asked tentatively. He moved to sit on the edge of his bed, closer to her.
"This." She motioned at herself and him. "I can't handle this. It's too hard."
"What about this…" He made the same motions she had. " Is so hard?" His tone was sharp. "As far as I can see you have put no effort into this friendship. So what about ignoring it is hard for you?" His sarcasm just angered her more.
"I have enough things to deal with I don't need you on top of all of that," Amara snapped.
"And what about me is so hard?" Kai asked. He stood up in front of her making Amara feel very small. "I have tried and tried to be accommodating to you."
"I never asked you to." Amara glared. She hated how she felt like a child with him looking down on her. "I never asked you to try. I never asked you to care."
"Why can't we have a truce? Why can't we just get along?" Kai seemed to be pleading with her. "I like spending time with you, Ams, but it's so hard when you blow up at me for the smallest things."
"I'm well aware, since you remind me of that every time we have a disagreement." She moved further away from him and let her eyes wander around his room. This was way easier then having to look him in the eyes.
"That's because we fight in circles," Kai said. "Every fight is really the same thing deep down." Amara just rolled her eyes. "You don't believe me?"
"It's a beautiful theory," Amara agreed just to placate him. She picked up a framed picture of Kai and his sisters that was sitting on his cluttered dresser "But I'm not really interested in people's theories on my behavior. Not from Jules or you."
"Why because we just happen to be right?"
Amara put the picture down and then turned to answer. "Jules maybe but you…well, you just don't know me anymore."
"You're making sure of that," Kai sighed. He ran his hands through his messy two-toned blue hair trying to release some of his aggravation. He could feel a headache coming on as he sat back down on his bed.
Amara didn't say anything. He was right on many different levels. Of course she could never admit this to him. The last thing Kai Hiwatari needed was an ego boost. But right now he didn't look like the confident smooth talker he usually was around everybody else. He looked rather defeated and exhausted, which was all her doing.
"I don't like that my mom is dating again," Amara began softly. Kai's head lifted slightly but he didn't turn to face her. "It's a little hard to grasp that she could possibly be interested in someone else other than my dad. It's not helping my attitude much. I've been rather nasty about the whole thing." Amara moved a little closer to him as she explained." Makes it harder that my brother is away. It's definitely not fun trying to have a meaningful conversation over the phone. I can just imagine what it's like for him and Leelee." Everything that was bothering her just spilled out.
Kai finally looked at her. His expression neutral but it was obvious in his eyes that he liked her being open with him. He nodded in all the appropriate places nudging Amara to continue. She even sat down beside him on the bed.
"So really you're not the only one facing my wrath right now," Amara concluded biting her lip. "But I guess you are getting the worst of it. I'm sorry."
Amara looked at him with hopeful blue eyes. She bit her lip even harder as she waited anxiously for his answer. He might not accept her apology. After all she had been a first class jerk to him.
Kai stared back at her with those amazing steel gray eyes. He was staring at her so intently that Amara thought he might just lean in and kiss her. The idea shocked even her and she prayed it wasn't showing on her face. She didn't really want Kai to kiss her. Not really. Her brain went into over drive and she had to look away. His eyes were just too bewitching.
Then there was a finger under her chin. Kai raised her eyes to meet his.
"I accept," he replied. "But I'm done with this fighting. I don't hate you. I'm not better than you." Amara just stared back. Her teeth were now so deeply implanted in her lip she couldn't even try speaking. "Stop that." Kai gently grazed her bottom lip with his thumb and pulled it out of the death grip she had it in. "I'm sorry too." He continued without batting an eye at how tender he had just been with her.
Amara's lip still felt warm from where he had touched it and she felt herself running her tongue over it. Shivers had run down her spine when he did it. Her thoughts were again back to what it would feel for him to kiss her again. This time she would hope to be ready for it instead of having it sprung on her. Amara found herself staring at his lips once again. They were moving but she couldn't focus on anything that was coming out.
"Ams?" Amara jumped back as Kai's face was right in front of hers snapping her out of her daze. Her heart was pounding in her ears. That was a little too close for comfort.
"Yeah?" she asked trying to focus on his whole face and not just his very nice looking lips.
Kai eyed her curiously. "Have you heard anything I just said?"
"Ummmm," Amara stuttered. "Maybe just run those main points by me again."
"Thanks a lot," Kai tried to glare at her but she could see the twinkle in his eye. "Well it's really too bad because I hate repeating myself."
"Whatever!" Amara snapped back jokingly. "You love the sound of your own voice, buddy."
"I do not," He shot back, reaching out to ruffle her red hair. "Like I said already, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so quick to give up when you needed me and I want to be there for you now." He paused and looked at her seeming to be out of words. "Do you accept?" He held out his hand as if they were making a business deal.
"Well," Amara paused pretending to be considering. She knew she couldn't refuse him. Even if she wanted to something inside told her she couldn't. She wouldn't lose Kai again. "I guess I have to since you accepted mine." Amara smirked. Kai smiled back as she placed her smaller hand in his. "Friends again."
"And this time you will try," Kai added giving her hand an extra squeeze.
"If I must," Amara sighed being dramatic.
"Yes, you must. No more of this one sided crap," Kai said wagging his finger right by her nose.
"Yes mother," Amara replied grabbing his finger away from her face. She didn't let go of his finger right away. The situation was getting a little too awkward for Amara. Why wasn't she letting go of him? And why wasn't he pulling away.
As if sensing her uncomfortable ness with the situation, Kai grabbed a pillow off his bed and whacked her across the face with it. Amara immediately let go of him and jumped off the bed. Kai took another swing at her, connecting rather hard.
"Oh, it's on!" Amara shrieked grabbing a pillow for herself.
The fight wasn't really fair. Kai had just a bit of a height advantage over Amara. He could easily just stand over her and thump her over the head. As he raised his arms to hit her again, she took a wild swing at his stomach. Kai hunched over groaning. Amara took this opportunity to lay claim of the bed. She stood up on it so she was a little closer to Kai's height and waited, pillow poised, for him to recuperate.
"Cheap shot," he groaned looking up at her.
"Alls fair in love and war," Amara chuckled, reveling in the fact that she'd caught him by surprise.
"Well in that case." Kai reached out and knocked out Amara's knees causing her to fall onto her butt. At least she was on the bed. Kai then sat on her stomach, pinning her beneath his weight. Amara wriggled trying to get him off.
"Geez, you are heavy," Amara glowered. She tried lifting her feet to kick him in the head but she couldn't quite reach.
"Give up?" Kai asked.
"Never," Amara replied a devilish smile on her face. " I can't let you win."
"Then I guess you're planning on never getting up," Kai smiled right back. They both knew he was right. Amara was too small to get him off.
"Fine, I give," she reluctantly complied after a minute of silence. Kai moved to sit beside her on the bed. Amara didn't immediately sit up.
"Make me a deal?" Amara said quietly staring up at the ceiling.
"Sure," Kai replied without even asking what it was. She knew his eyes were on her.
"Promise me you'll stop the over drinking." Amara bit her lip. She looked up at his profile.
"If that's what you want from me," Kai answered their eyes meeting. His hand found hers and gave it a squeeze.
"Yeah, that's what I want," Amara said quietly mostly for her own benefit.
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Thanks to everyone who reviewed…I'm so so sorry that it took so long to update. I wanted it to be good and have some time to dedicate to it. It's hard to find the time but here it is and I think I got my writing groove back so hopefully it won't be as long a wait for the next chapter. Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed my story. I love to hear from you.
Till Next Time
Miss Wright
