Matou Shinji and the Price of Victory
A Harry Potter / Fate Stay Night Story
Disclaimer: Though I wish it were otherwise, I do not own or in any way, shape or form hold a legal or moral claim to elements of either the Nasuverse, the Potterverse, or other works I may reference in the course of this story.
Summary: It is a dark time for Matou Shinji. Though his performance at the Wizarding Schools Potions Championship was certainly impressive, his achievement was not without cost, as his actions in publicly using the Killing Curse, acting as a spy for Durmstrang, and otherwise defying British Law have finally caught up with him. On the cusp of being outmaneuvered by the authorities, the lone rebel bargains for a last-minute reprieve, gambling his life and freedom on hope of singlehandedly facing down the forces of an invading army. Yet, in the coming conflict, the boy who calls himself Matou Shinji will soon learn that the line between friend and foe very easily blurs, and that even victory carries a hefty price.
Chapter 5. With Nothing to Lose
Though he'd accepted Lockhart's offer, the boy who called himself Matou Shinji began to have second thoughts immediately after the man left, given that Mashu excused herself to let him "catch up with Miss Tohsaka" soon after, and in the agent's absence, his…new subordinate? Colleague? squadmate began to pester him with irritatingly simple questions.
Questions like what exactly "Wizarding" Britain was, what Ministry the "First Citizen" had spoken of and why Matou was that Ministry's hero, and what this business about armies of giants, goblins, and wuch was about.
'What was Lockhart thinking?' he asked himself, wondering why the Assa—First Citizen—had permitted t— 'No. That's not it. He did say the final composition of my squad would be up to me, so…what was I thinking?'
He knew what he'd been thinking quite well, of course: that Tohsaka was familiar to him, in a world that had become so strange, that as an Average One, she had a great deal of potential, and that as someone already used to following his instructions, it would take less to earn her respect than nearly anyone else he worked with.
The trouble was, she knew nothing about the world he worked in and the dangers he faced, except the highly sanitized, even idealized drips and morsels that he relayed to her every now and then to make himself look good in her eyes.
…that, and with the exception of whatever hell his former Master had put her through, he was pretty sure Tohsaka had never really been in a life or death situation before, and while she probably knew the basics of how being a magus was to walk with death, he was unsure of how much martial training she'd had.
'She's soft, and not entirely in a good way…'
Granted, there was a not-so-small part of him that enjoyed how she gushed over his accomplishments, especially once they moved to the couches and she sidled up to him, claiming it was cold, allowing him to breathe in her scent and enjoy the softness of her form, the back of his hand just so happening to brush her curves, but…
…whatever enjoyment he was deriving from the situation was quickly being outweighed by her lack of even the most basic bits of knowledge about the world he'd been part of for nigh on four years at this point, a world that was every bit as dangerous as that of moonlight, even if the dangers were not quite so obvious at first.
To her credit, the girl was at least willing to listen as he explained how, to the best of his knowledge, the descendants of the European fey had largely gone into hiding during the bloody war between the Association and the Church, forming a hidden society that did almost everything with spells, treating the thaumaturgy not as a science or a tool to reach the root, but as something as mundane as electricity was for modern society.
Well, perhaps not electricity, since they saw magic as their birthright, something innate to them, not something they invented, with the use of it being as natural as walking or breathing, with wands being something like a walker or cane to help them support themselves, or some kind of apparatus to help them breathe in a very smoggy, polluted world.
"They need wands to do any sort of thaumaturgy?" Rin asked, blinking as she took in this piece of information. Wands and other amplifier-type Mystic Codes weren't uncommon among magi, as they made casting faster or more efficient, but no self-respecting magus would ever require such a thing to use their abilities. "Even single action spells?"
"Single actions spells are almost all of what they do," Shinji explained, shaking his head. "Compared to the average magus, a…practitioner of witchcraft is not especially powerful, but that doesn't mean they're weak either."
"What do you mean?" the girl inquired, tilting her head. If they weren't powerful, didn't that by definition mean that they were weak?
"First, there are a great many practitioners – many more than there are magi. There were thousands of them in Britain alone. Which might be the reason they're weaker, since there is a fine balance between belief and the number of people drawing on a single foundation, but…," the boy replied with something like a shrug. "That said, even if the average practitioner is less powerful than a magus, their – our spells tend to be more efficient and versatile," he added with a smile.
Tohsaka stiffened at this, remembering too late that Matou wasn't a magus, but one of these practitioners.
"Oh, but—"
"Yes, magi can become richer, more powerful than practitioners of witchcraft, using their thaumaturgy to create familiars, to weave bounded fields, to enact grand rituals on a scale that most practitioners couldn't even dream of, it's true," he admitted with a wry twist of his lips. "Coming from Fuyuki, we both know that."
No practitioner of witchcraft would ever be able to craft something like the Holy Grail, after all, given the deep knowledge of the metaphysical world needed for it, as well as the sheer amounts of power.
"But?"
"Practitioners of witchcraft use their arts for everything. And while they're limited in what they can do, that doesn't mean they can't be very good at it." He shook his head. "They have tricks of their own they can use, and if you aren't familiar with what they can do – if you underestimate them, well, being stronger or more magically capable isn't a guarantee of victory." He paused for a moment. "Well, unless you're one of the Wizard-Marshals, I guess."
Emiya Kiritsugu, the infamous Magus Killer, had made a career out of proving that the weak could defeat the strong, taking down any number of more capable targets, including no few vampires, rogue Philosophers who had escaped a sealing designation, and Lords of the Tower. He'd even won the last Holy Grail War, so…
"I see," Rin noted, but Shinji could tell she really didn't. Perhaps a more…hands-on approach would be needed, so he could make not just with her mind, but her body, understand how dangerous what she had signed up for really was.
"Hey," he said, leaning close to her as she made something like a sound of contentment. "Mashu will probably be back soon, so why don't we go somewhere a little more private."
"Hm?"
"There's something I want to show you…something I can't explain just with words," he began, before glancing over at her again. "Um, you don't mind a bit of sweating, do you?"
"N-no, not at all!"
"Good – then if you're willing, I'll show you what it will be like under me. Are you?"
"Y-yes, anytime!" the girl nearly squealed, her cheeks flushed, her breathing quite labored. "P-please. Make a mess of me."
"Well, if you say to, Tohsaka," Shinji muttered dubiously.
Tohsaka Rin would shortly have reason to regret her words, proving that in wisdom, there was much grief, and one who increased knowledge also increased sorrow.
About half an hour later, a panting Tohsaka Rin lay on the ground of the training area in the basement, her unfocused eyes seeing nothing but a blur of light and shadow. Her skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, and her chest heaved as her lips parted to suck in strangled gulps of fetid air. Her reserves were utterly spent.
Her limbs limp and weak – unable to move at all.
She was sore and aching all over from how rough Matou had been, how he'd pounded her relentlessly, how his rod had jabbed her over and over again, piercing through her weakness yet drawing things out until her inexperienced body collapsed from exhaustion from the fruits of his…experience.
Now, stripped of her clothes, of her control, of her strength, of anything that would let her resist, she was helpless – more helpless than she'd ever been in her entire life. The only time that had come close was when she'd fought and lost against the creations of her dirty red Master, but here it was just Matou who…
"Ma…tou," she gasped, as she noticed a vaguely person-shaped shadow kneel over her, blocking out the actinic glare of the lights above. "So…rough…"
"Yes, I was, wasn't I?" the shadow – Matou – responded, not even breathing hard in the wake of their…encounter. "I guess I'm used to my partners being more…experienced. Your first time, then?"
Tohsaka only closed her eyes and nodded slightly, her body flushing red from the embarrassment of having failed to live up to his expectations.
She'd practiced by herself, of course, and had other, less strenuous encounters with people like Kohaku, but they hadn't gone nearly as far as Matou had. Kohaku had overwhelmed her, yes, but with a sort of speed that couldn't be human, and she'd been merciful enough to finish her off. Matou though…
"I…yes…"
"You need practice, Tohsaka," the shadow said, its tone a mixture of indifference and disappointment. "If you can't handle me using only the tip of my staff, how will you endure whatever other techniques I may have prepared?"
The girl shivered at that, recalling how brutal the boy had been, how he had led her about, playing with her body, punishing her, proving how much she had to learn and leaving her a breathless, crumpled heap of limbs.
"Why…?"
"Why?" Shinji echoed. "You asked for this, didn't you? You told me to 'make a mess of you.' So I did." He sighed. "I thought you could take it. Sadly, I thought wrong."
The magus tried to say something, but she could not, as a wave of exhaustion washed over her, the last bits of energy she had guttering out.
Matou Shinji looked down on the unconscious, barely-clad body of Tohsaka Rin, surprised to note that he felt only…disappointment, with not a flicker of lust or desire. For all her vaunted might, for all that she'd once been someone he'd idolized and set on a pedestal, the reality had fallen pitifully short of what he had imagined.
For most of the spar, he'd willingly conceded the initiative, allowing her to choose how and when to attack while he merely defended or counterattacked, using the superior reach of his staff, or his ability to simply flow behind her and strike to his advantage. He'd been prepared to face what he knew of what she could do, whether it was martial arts (because you couldn't hit what wasn't there), gandr, or her A-rank gems, and had taken the possible threat she posed seriously.
…even then, he had expected some sort of epic reversal that would put him on the defensive, some trump card that would take everything he'd learned or practiced to counter, if he even could, but…that never materialized.
In the end, her efforts had been meaningless, and he'd beaten her using nothing more than the tip of his staff, with Tohsaka being unable to predict the blows, defend against them, or even hit him.
Even when she'd thrown an A-rank gem at him, a jewel that had erupted into a conflagration capable of consuming a(n unwarded) house, his staff had simply absorbed the flames – as had he, since fire only healed him, now with what he had become.
'To think that Tohsaka stood no chance at all…I never would have imagined it.'
That said, he couldn't just leave her passed out on the ground like this. That would be rather ungentlemanly of him.
'I guess I'll get you cleaned up.'
The tub was big enough for two, after all.
That night, Matou Shinji found himself at his desk, drafting a letter to First Citizen Lockhart, given that he'd thought of something: with his newfound fame (or infamy) as the "Hero of the Ministry", perhaps it would be better served if he had some sort of disguise when he went to Magical London, so he wasn't ambushed by the media or by people with…excessively strong opinions on his actions.
While he was sure he'd saved many people due to his actions holding off the forces of Grindelwald at the Ministry, would others appreciate that, he wondered? He liked to think so, but it was obvious even to him that he was not the best judge of how other people reacted to his actions – especially now that he was no longer human.
'Though I can't really use that as an excuse, can I?' he mused, remembering how he'd been criticized for being bad at the public relations game even before he'd lost himself in fire. 'And now I'm supposed to lead a squad?'
He'd never really formally been a leader, except perhaps as a figurehead for the Ourea. He'd been a champion and allegedly a hero, but actually having a position of authority over someone was unexplored territory for him. Granted, one could say that he'd led Pansy and Rachelle Lestrange into the howling wastes to confront a rogue tanuki, but that hadn't been him leading them as much as all of them agreeing that something needed to be done.
And well, even if could be considered leadership experience…he'd almost gotten everyone killed because he'd underestimated his opponent, something that he seemed to do with depressing frequency.
'Can I not pass this cup to someone else?'
Let someone else be a squad leader, while he simply served and followed orders? No…Lockhart had requested him specifically because of what he had done as the "Hero of the Ministry", so he couldn't pass it off to someone else, no matter how much he would like to. Besides which, learning how to be a leader was probably a skill Sokaris would want him to have as a future Agent, much less as someone aspiring to stand by her side.
As a Director of one the Three Great Branches of the Association, she was a leader, which meant that this was a trial he needed to overcome if he wanted to reach her side, or even continue to be worthy of having a place in her thoughts – or her heart.
With the hand he'd been dealt in life, that was truly something as difficult as obtaining the Grail– though if he supposed that a card-based analogy wasn't quite the best one to use here, since the Heart suit was originally "Cups" in the tarot deck – meaning, the Grail.
'Well, either way, I can't run from this, no matter how much I'm leery of it…of choosing whose lives I want to be responsible for.'
If it were up to him, he'd want to see what Luna had to say, since she was always reliable, and more than a match for him, but his lover – well, the lover of Matou Shinji – hadn't returned from her excursion to the East.
Or perhaps she had while he had been unconscious, and Mashu hadn't mentioned it.
Either way, she wasn't here, so he couldn't consult her, couldn't ask what she was thinking. Did...had she figured out that he wasn't the person she loved? Had she learned how he was but a pale imitation of a man, a doll who had once believed itself to be the boy it replaced?
'I guess it wouldn't be too hard to guess that from everything I've already told her, huh?' he wondered, as his mind drifted back to the island and their...fight. The moment she had just left him behind, left him alone. When he'd learned just how badly he'd screwed up.
It hadn't been a pleasant revelation.
But then, very little about most of the revelations he had come to lately were particularly pleasant.
'Requests…'
Honestly speaking, he didn't really have any idea who would be willing to join him, or really, to serve as an agent of a government which might not even have diplomatic recognition yet.
For now, all he had to work with was a too-eager Tohsaka, who didn't seem to understand the dangers of the world and how this was not a game. Powerful as he had believed her to be, desperate to please him as she was, she would have died had she fought in the Battle of the Ministry – something he knew far too well. Still, it wasn't as if he could just sideline her either, not when he had already accepted her into his squad.
That would break her, and he didn't really want to do that if he could help it.
Perhaps she might be more useful working as a crafter? He had obtained some patents for her use…though technically, those patents belonged to the company owned by Luna, so he had no legal right to offer them up to her. He didn't want to think Luna would object, but with how upset she'd been with him before, perhaps it was better not to take any unnecessary chances.
'I guess Tohsaka's talents would make her useful as a prana battery, since some of my abilities are rather draining, but…'
No. Doing that would be taking advantage of the girl, and would probably go over…poorly with both Luna and Mashu.
'And the last thing I need is for Mashu to write a bad report about me to Sokaris…' On some level, the lilac-haired girl seemed to have an issue with Tohsaka, and until he found out what that was, he didn't really want to jeopardize his future with Atlas. Or his housing situation, giving that since his return from the isle, the wards no longer registered him as the owner, meaning that the agent of Atlas could technically evict him from the property at any time. 'Things used to be simpler…'
But then, if complications were the price of growing stronger, so be it.
'For now, I'll finish drafting this letter to Lockhart. There's a lot I need to discuss with him in person before I go further down this path.'
The issue of how to deliver the letter was an interesting one, since Tohsaka was unconscious so he couldn't just borrow her mechanical owl, and it wasn't as if he wanted to go to Diagon Alley alone so.
'Maybe Mashu can think of something. She's…far more reliable than I am when it comes to things like this.'
More reliable than even he predicted, in fact, given that when the lilac-haired girl came up to his quarters later that night to help guide him through his mental exercises, she brought with her a package containing a writing pad that was apparently linked to a counterpart (the other half of which had been given to the First Citizen), as well as an outfit that she said would help him pass by unnoticed.
"What is this?" he asked, noting that for something that was meant to go unnoticed, the outfit was rather attention-grabbing, consisting of an elaborately embroidered double-breasted jacket made of black velvet, matching gloves and slacks, a blindfold, and boots.
"A disguise," the Agent of Atlas explained.
"How is this supposed to be a disguise?" the boy asked dubiously. "It seems like it would draw a good deal of attention."
"It would, especially if you put on the blindfold – which isn't exactly a blindfold."
"Oh? And what is it then?"
"Something to protect against the effects of Mystic Eyes and other negative sight-based magecraft," the young woman explained. "The inward-facing side will allow you to see what is on the other side, while filtering out the…negative effects. Incidentally, it will turn your hair white."
"Huh. Interesting," Shinji noted. "So…something like the instant death effect from meeting a basilisk's eye?"
"Yes. The jacket and slacks will also serve to negate most single-action spells cast against you, as well as protect you from more mundane damage."
"…very useful, but it still doesn't strike me as much of a disguise. It stands out too much for that," Shinji noted.
"It is useful because it stands out," Mashu countered, with the boy blinking at this.
"Mm?"
"You will draw attention, but it will be a black-clad white-haired figure who draws attention, not Matou Shinji, as Matou Shinji has never seen the need for disguises," Mashu explained.
"Ah, that's…" Now that he thought about it, that was actually a rather clever way to go about things. "Thank you." Though speaking of the design… He frowned as he looked more closely at the pattern on the jacket. "The pattern seems almost familiar."
"It was made based on the one created for Miss Tohsaka," Mashu explained, with Shinji nodding.
That would explain it, yes.
"You should write to the First Citizen to arrange a meeting time," she continued. "Atlas will be happy to subsidize transport for you when the time comes."
"…and what exactly does Atlas get out of the rise of Albion?" he questioned, knowing that the Moonlit world didn't often get involved in the affairs of practitioners of witchcraft.
"The research conducted by the Department of Mysteries," was the response. "Or what remains of it after the near destruction of the Ministry building."
Shinji blinked, not seeing what they could offer that—
"…you're after their research on time, aren't you?" he murmured, eyes widening. "Is Sokaris…?"
But Mashu said nothing further about the matter, moving onto their lesson about the practicalities of thought acceleration, and how to make most efficient use of the technique
