Chapter 3

Déjà vu was a powerful thing. The situation didn't have to be exactly the same, even one element, one turn of the head or movement of a hand, and you were right back in the first time—emotions rushing over you uncontrollably.

That's what Ryan felt when Rick rested the gun on the edge of the table. Another house, another boyfriend—Eric, or maybe Enrique—another gun. Different circumstances, same result. Ryan was on the receiving end of a muzzle, and he'd be lucky to get out alive.

He tried his mother one last time, pleading silently for her to diffuse the situation. She looked embarrassed, scared.

"I need the money, baby," she mumbled, shrinking under Rick's glare. "You know they can afford it."

Sure they could afford it—the Cohen's could afford to pay his mother's debt, buy this house, and probably have the street repaved for the whole neighborhood. All without even transferring funds into their checking account. But could they afford to pay for Ryan? And could he afford to ask them?

He shifted gingerly in his chair. "I, uh…I gotta…can I use the washroom?"

His face flushed red as Rick grunted permission. Ryan rose and walked slowly towards the lone bathroom near the back of the house. There was no door to hide behind, not that he could fit through the one tiny window anyway. From the kitchen, they had a clear view of his actions. As he mustered the courage to go, a knock on the front door interrupted the strained silence.

"Who the fuck is that?" Rick was up and walking towards the door, the gun gripped tightly in his hand.

Ryan zipped up and felt his chest tighten as he watched. No way. He wouldn't.

Rick peeked through the dusty blinds covering the door. "What the hell? Dawn! You know any scrawny white kids?"

Ryan closed his eyes. God damn it. Seth. If he got out of here without a hole in his stomach, he was going to strangle him.

"Let me see." Dawn shot Ryan a warning look as she crossed the living room. You better not fuck this up. She looked out the window and cursed. "God damn it, Ryan. You brought the kid?"

"No! No, I didn't. He drove."

"Fuck." Rick swore under his breath, taking another glance out at Seth. "Get rid of him."

Dawn walked over to Ryan and pulled hard on his shoulder. "Rick doesn't want to hurt you," she hissed low under her breath. Her eyes were clouded and Ryan felt his chest constrict as he saw no emotion displayed there. "Just get rid of him."

"Okay, okay." Ryan shook off Dawn's grip and walked cautiously towards Rick. His eyes never left the gun. He reached out for the door and felt the cold press of steel through his shirt as Rick pushed the weapon into his side. He tensed, then opened the door a crack and looked out.

Seth smiled when the door opened, beaming at Ryan. "Dude! Do you know how hot it gets out here? I swear, Chino is like the Hades of California. Roastin'."

"Seth…"

"Do you need some company or anything? I could make coffee. You know, for chatting. I'm good at the coffee, well, and the chatting."

"Seth…"

"And I could meet your mom again." Seth suddenly seemed to notice Ryan standing there. "What?"

"Go home."

Seth blinked. "Come again?"

He wanted to scream. Just listen to me! Instead, he swallowed hard and tried to convince Seth to leave. "Go home without me. I'm gonna stay here for a bit."

"Oh, well, I can stay. I didn't have anything to do today, just the bonding."

Ryan bit down hard on his lower lip. Seth just had to be Seth. Stubborn. He could hear Rick breathing heavily behind him. Seth had maybe five seconds to get off the porch before he was dragged right into the middle of this nightmare. "I don't want you to stay. Just go. I'll be home later."

"But it's fine, I can stay."

"I said go." Ryan's voice left no room for arguing.

Seth ran a hand through his hair, visibly confused. "Okay sure, I can go." He stared at Ryan for a long moment. "But call me if you want a ride, or like, if you wanna come home. I mean, I can come back, or I can wait."

Ryan shook his head and Seth finally shrugged, clearly not understanding, and turned to walk down the stairs. Pulling back inside, Ryan felt Rick ease a little pressure off the gun.

Then Seth turned and bounded back up the stairs. "Hey! How do you get to the freeway from here?"

"That's it," Rick mumbled, grabbing the door.

Ryan clapped his hand firmly on the door, fighting to keep Rick from pulling it all the way open.

Looking out at Seth, he gave him his best fuck off stare. "You know how to get back, Seth. Just take the second left and follow the signs."

"But I don't…" Seth protested.

"Fuck this." Rick yanked the door open.

Ryan stumbled sideways, still trying to stay between Seth and Rick. A helping hand from Rick sent him sprawling to the floor.

"No, don't!" Ryan tried to get up, tried to wedge his foot in the door, tried to do anything to stop Seth from entering the house, but it was pointless.

Rick reached out and grabbed a stunned Seth by the collar, hauling him into the house. He slammed the door and shoved Seth towards Ryan on the floor.

Ryan caught him as he fell, both of them falling back in a tangle of misplaced limbs.

"Whoa, man, take it easy," Seth said. "If you wanted me to come in, all you had to do was ask."

"Seth…" Ryan cautioned.

"What?" Seth pushed himself off of Ryan and dusted his hands on his knees. He turned around to face Rick. "I'm just saying…" His voice faded as he finally saw the gun.

Ryan reached out a hand to touch Seth's leg. "Just take it easy, okay. Let me handle it."

Seth looked at Ryan, then back at Rick. "Duuude," he said under his breath. "What's with the gun?"

Rick's face reddened and he pointed the gun firmly at the prattling boy. "Does he ever shut up?" Rick said to Ryan.

"Well of course I shut up, I mean I do sleep…"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Rick yelled his last command, raising the gun as he did. Ryan thought that Seth had finally gotten it; his body shrunk back a little more at the words. Rick, however, didn't get the memo because he held the gun firmly in his hand and pulled the trigger.

/tbc/