"Seriously, I really wish I could show you guys all my pictures from church camp." Hidan said. "Those were crazy, wild times." There was a long pause.
"Church camp? Crazy? Wild?" Kisame questioned.
"Oh, yeah, really. One time me and another guy…we played a prank on our cabin dad…we rearranged the Bible verses for the week. Oh, good times, good times." Once again there was a long silence.
"I'm guessing no one gets laid at church camp, yeah? " Deidara asked. However. Hidan didn't have a chance to answer because Kakuzu had found a picture of baby Sasori.
"Aaawww, Sasori! Look what a sweet little baby you were, all human and stuff. No wood anywhere." It was a picture of Sasori 1 year old.
"Wow, your hair is a lot more manageable now, isn't it?" But the phone rang and Itachi ran off to answer it before Sasori could answer. He was expecting a call from his beloved Dana.
"Danna! You look like a happy child in this picture." Deidara showed him a picture of a 10-year-old Sasori holding up a frog. He was covered in mud so it was obvious that Sasori had been frog hunting.
"Sasori, was that your pet?" Kisame asked.
"No, I just caught him and showed him to mom. You know sometimes I miss mom…I kind of wish I hadn't turned her into a puppet…she always made bitchin' strawberry pancakes." Sasori pulled another picture out of the box…well what he thought was a picture…it was actually a small card. It read: 'Sasori, thanks for everything. You've always been the best and I wish you luck in your pursuits with Akatsuki. I'm sorry you got stuck with that blonde, I wish he hadn't walked in on us. Anyway, I'll miss you Sasori. Love, Eva'. Sasori started getting sentimental.
"Who's Eva?" Zetsu asked. Sasori sighed.
"Eva…was….well, she and I had a relationship for about 5 years, but she had to go back to Russia…I will always miss Eva." Someone needed to find a happier picture and quick. Zetsu did just that, it was a picture of a seven year old Sasori holding his first puppet. He was so proud of it.
"Aaaaaaaw! Check this one out! It was a three year old red head sitting on Santa's lap. Everyone else thought this picture was too cute. Sasori did look a little terrified of Santa though. There were also a few more pictures, one of Sasori with his very attractive red head mother at the beach, one of him building a castle out of blocks, and another of him playing in the snow.
It was assumed that those were all the pictures in the box…however Deidara found another one.
"Oh my god, look at this, yeah! You know….he's kind of a cute kid, yeah." Deidara said. It was a picture of Orochimaru, there wasn't anything written on the picture but he looked to be about 6 or 7.
"Whoa….he still has that freaky pale skin thing going on." Kisame said.
"This will be the ultimate blackmail. We should save this for the next time he pisses us off." Zetsu said. Zetsu was right, the picture of kindergarten age Orochimaru would make the perfect weapon. Itachi hung up the phone.
"Okay, we're done looking at pictures for now. Deidara, come on…we need to Tango again, Dana's going to be ready in an hour and I still suck. Deidara pouted for a moment.
"Are you going to do it right, yeah?" Itachi rolled his eyes.
"Yes, yes I'll do it right, just come teach me so I don't make an ass of myself."
"Okay!" Deidara jumped up and started his T-A-N-G-O procedure again.
"Itachi, why the hell do you have to learn to Tango anyway?" Kisame asked.
"Because, Dana needed a ballroom dance partner for her beginner class tonight.
"What the hell? I have three ballroom dance championship awards!" Sasori exclaimed.
"I know you do Danna, but see you're just too good. She needed someone hot and not good, yeah. So, Itachi fit the description, yeah." Deidara.
"Well, that and I mean come on Deidara, you know I'm going to bang the…" Deidara cut Itachi off.
"No, no no! Even if you two are the hot item now, and even though you make her want to do things she's never done before, you do not bang my sister…you make sweet love to her, yeah." Deidara said emphatically.
"Wait, wait…how do you know I make her want to do that?" Itachi asked suspiciously.
"Itachi, I'm her brother…what do you think we talk about on the phone, yeah?" And with that Itachi learned that his love life was anything but a secret.
Okay, everybody, this one was purposely pretty short. I'm proud to announce the next fic: Akatsuki Camp Counselors an idea inspired by Ninjax5000. I hope you'll look forward to it!
