Disclaimer: Bleach is the work of the maestro Kubo Tite.

Shinigami Movie Night

"Surprise inspection!" the 12th Division Captain barked, striding menacingly into the room. As always, his vice-captain, Nemu, followed discreetly in his shadow a few steps behind.

The Death Gods behind the control panel jumped to attention. Kurotsuchi Mayuri barely gave them a glance, his attention focused immediately on the giant screen. The President of the Shinigami Research Institute of Technology had a more tender look in his eyes for the machinery in the room than his subordinates. It didn't offend the 12th Division members in any way –since they had seen that same look directed at test subjects, one moment before the scientist performed scalpel-surgery.

A nervous Shinigami recruit keyed in an incorrect code by mistake, causing the device to protest the given command with a shrill default beep. The piercing tone could have cleaned earwax.

The 12th Division men exchanged alarmed looks. Apparently no one had reset the speaker system to its initial state after Renji's last Movie Night.

"What need is there to set it to maximum volume?" Captain Kurotsuchi snapped irritably. "Are you all deaf? Which one of you has a hearing problem? See me at the labs and I shall remedy it!"

Eyes darted uneasily towards the captain's head –or more precisely, towards the prosthetic ears. It was common knowledge that the captain had tremendous faith in bio-instrumentation. He had once demonstrated to the Division members how body parts could be modified into versatile weapons. Next thing they knew, the captain had unplugged his ear and started to pull a length of gristly ligament from his head. What they had originally mistaken for ghastly earwax turned out to be a sinewy weapon akin to a throwing chain. The revelation had served more to appall than appeal to the Division members.

Captain Kurotsuchi took one menacing step towards the mortified Shinigami recruit. Something crunched underfoot. The captain stopped, and lifted his foot. A small, pale yellow, foreign object detached itself from the sole of his shoe. Kurotsuchi Mayuri bent down and picked up the slightly flattened discovery.

Was it…?Could it be…?

He held it up between thumb and forefinger, squinting suspiciously at it.

Yes! Yes, it was popcorn!

The clean-up crew had accidentally, (fatally), left behind substantial evidence. Kurotsuchi Nemu recognized it. So did the Death Gods at the helm of the controls.

"What is the meaning of this?" Captain Kurotsuchi demanded.

There were times when self-sacrifice was called for. And the 12th Division members were hand-picked from the Academy for this voluntary characteristic in them. Call them Guinea Pigs, Sacrificial Lambs even. But sometimes, they were heroes.

"…It's a snack, Captain."

Mayuri eyed the duty-head. "Are you telling me that you were eating on the job?"

"Our apologies, Captain!"

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go the torture department and report yourself!" the captain said, waving the Death God on his way. "Tsk! Honestly, do I have to spell everything out for you? Get moving!"

"Nossir! Yessir, moving now, taichou!"

Mayuri rolled his eyes. A fairly disturbing sight to behold as his eyes whizzed in his head like a maddened mechanical doll. "How did such a dolt get into my Division?"

The 12th Division Captain gave the foreign snack one last probing look before he deftly tossed it into a trash can.

Captain Kurotsuchi's discovery soon reached the ears of the Movie Night partiers. There was talk of canceling the next session. But, the call of Death Note –Episode Two, was too compelling.

oooOooo

Abarai Renji thought about what a nuisance the Jigoku-cho could be. The midnight-winged messengers really ruined the atmosphere, flitting about, getting in the way of the picture. Distracting pests.

And something must be said about the idiots who choose to receive their Hell-Moth messages during the show. This was surround-sound heaven! Use your head! D'ya think you're gonna hear a squeaking butterfly above the sound of speakers like that? They were made to bring screaming typhoons and a battlefield of bombs into the house.

Ikkaku had suggested putting up portable electric bug zappers at the doorway. But the ingenious idea had been vetoed. Shuuhei had convinced them that it would be disastrous if any captain sounded the Seireitei alarms for division members gone AWOL. Besides, Yumichika had added, although burning butterflies had a certain poetic beauty, there was the unpleasant stink to consider.

One of the boys had brought a stack of silk zabuton in honor of the anticipated noble guest. He had pointed out to that they couldn't expect an aristocrat to rough it out on the floor like the rest of them, could they? Renji had reserved his opinion that his taichou probably wouldn't like to hear that he had more delicate, noble knees than the rest of them.

The red-haired vice-captain adjusted one of the silk cushions under his elbow. Well, there were so many of them, it wasn't likely that taichou would miss this one.

Just as he was getting comfortable, there was a hesitant tap on his shoulder and a nervous voice to accompany it, "Anou…Renji-san?"

Renji graced the interruption with a grunt, never taking his eyes off the screen.

The poking returned with vengeance. The irritated Shinigami grabbed the offending hand and turned around to give his colleague a piece of his mind.

The first thing he noticed was the middle finger's abnormally long and dark fingernail. It was a grotesque sight indeed, contrasting with the pallid hand. Next thing he noticed was the fact that the finger was attached to the arm of one livid Kurotsuchi Mayuri.

Captain Creepy had escaped from his lab assistants! Renji's panicked eyes sought support from the other Death Gods. They probably had enough backup here to take Captain Creepy down.

All the boys were huddled against the far wall. The cowards!

Abarai Renji met Captain Kurotsuchi's gaze. The look in the captain's eyes would be the stuff of his nightmares for many days to come.

oooOooo

Until this day, Renji ponders on what could have happened if Kuchiki taichou hadn't stepped in to save his skin. Literally.

In fact, they had even received official permission to hold Movie Nights once a month –so long as they snagged a couple of titles for Captain Kurotsuchi. He had a fascination for the Horror Genre.

Well, preference was an individual thing.

Abarai Renji leant back into his cushion as Yumichika popped the disc into the player. The 11th Division officer turned around with a wide smile and clapped happily to himself.

His eyes swept the room and a shadow of something tugged at the corner of his lips. "Enjoy the movie, my fellow-in-arms! This is a movie for true men!"

For reasons they could not explain, a few men in the crowd felt a shiver run up their spines. They didn't know it, but it was probably the tingling of their Shinigami trained self-preservation instincts.

Midway through the show, there was uproar in the 12th Division screening hall. No amount of alcohol could have prepared the men for the shocking business unfolding on the large screen.

The show had hit certain sensitive and controversial nerves that night. But, there was no denying that the movie Brokeback Mountain had been an eye-opener for the ­Seireitei Shinigami.


Author's Note: The end.

HikaruOfArrow –I'm glad you enjoyed it!

rukiaprincess –All thanks to Kubo Tite's amazing ability create the wacky characters in Bleach.

Tarame –Hope you enjoyed this chapter too.

ice illuser –I'd love to know what you think of them watching Brokeback Mountain this time… ;)

Daughter of ether –It wouldn't have fit into Mirror Mask. So, I'm glad you enjoyed it as a stand-alone.

lunartick –Thank you for your encouragement to complete this fic. I'm glad you liked the part Byakuya played in the first chapter.