Paper Mario one and a half
Chapter 14
Well, the Major League looked a lot better than the brothers thought! The metal was replaced with marble, and look, showers, beds, and even a refridge! Unfortunately, the people in here don't really care about the brothers!
Luigi: Errr… hello?
Creatures: …
Luigi: Hey, Red Bob-omb guy!
Red Bob-omb: My name is Redfuse, freak!
Luigi: Jerk…
Mario: Hello!
Redfuse: Ohhhh my gosh! Mario! Can I have your autograph!
Luigi: ((Yeah, and he gives Mario kindness)) What about me?
Redfuse: Back off, loser.
Mario: Okey-dokey!
Mario pulls out a pen and paper and signs it.
Redfuse: My dream! Realized!
Luigi: Ooooooookay… Might as well look at the line-up for the battles.
Luigi then walks to the paper by the button while Mario is talking to everyone, leaving Luigi out of the popularity. Once Luigi reads it, he scroll downs to…
Line-up
1. Golden Shell
2. Steel Chain
3. Golden Hammer B
4. B-G Spiker
5. Red Hammer B
6. Ghost Bot
7. Red Explosion
8. Magic Wand
9. Green Hammer B
10. Red Metal and Green Ember A
Luigi: It is actually very obvious to which creatures made them:
1. Golden Koopatrol
2. Chain Chomp
3. Electricity Bro.
4. Koopatrol
5. Fire Bro.
6. Boo
7. Red Bob-omb (Redfuse)
8. Magikoopa
9. Hammer Bro.
10. Us
Luigi: signs up
Luigi- Rank 9 Battle
Green Hammer has average defense, average attack, average speed, and high health. Though it was really average, Luigi still easily won, though he did lose 3 HP.
END ROUND
Luigi: yawns I can't believe we have to do all of these wars in one day!
Luigi: Even if it is only 11:30 AM…
Luigi's Car (forgot last update)
Green Ember
HP: 17/20 (-3)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10 (+1) (+1)
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Mario finally stops talking to Redfuse, and he walks over to the button and presses it while Luigi stares at him with suppressed jealousy.
Luigi: Glory hog…
Mario- Rank 10 Battle
It was pretty much the same thing, except he lost 5 instead of 3 HP.
END ROUND
Mario: I'm the winner!
Redfuse: Nice job out there! You are awesome!
Luigi: Grrrrrrrr…
Bloat: Ohhhhh, by the way Luigi, you have 3 points than Mario, so Mario gets +3 points.
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 20/25 (-5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 6/10 (+1)
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10 (+1)
Magic: 6/10 (+1) (+1)
Luigi: You all suck…
Suddenly, Luigi's Shroom Phone (weird, I know) starts ringing!
Luigi: Hello?
Mystery Person: LIstEN to ME anD You Will BE haPPy! bY, XxxXX
Luigi: Odd…
After Luigi hung up, he signed up for the next battle.
Luigi- Rank 8 Battle
Magic Wand has very low attack and defense, but it has high HP, average speed, and VERY high magic. Luigi actually won very easily, even though he suffered a 6 damage attack.
END ROUND
Luigi: I'm really on a roll, ain't I?
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 16/25 (-6) (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Mario: Its-a-me, Mario!
Redfuse: You are so cool!
Magikoopa: You rock awesomely!
Chain Chomp: Arf! Arf!
Fire Bro.: You…
Electricity Bro.: are…
Hammer Bro.: the best!
Koopatrol: You could be a better master than Bowser!
Golden Koopatrol: You are shinier than my shell!
Boo: My tail likes you, Mario!
Everyone else other than Boo: …
Boo: What?
Mario: Thank you very much!
Mario then walks by a red-faced Luigi and signs up for the next match.
Mario- Rank 9 Battle
The same as Luigi, except it used no special attacks (he likes Mario) so only 1 damage was dealt to Mario's robot.
END ROUND
Luigi: I hate you SO MUCH!
Mario: Okey-dokey!
Luigi: I will strangle you!
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 19/25 (-1)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10 (+1)
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Luigi then signs up, and while he is walking to the stage, he tries to punch at Mario, but Mario easily avoided the slow punch threw at him.
Luigi- Rank 7 Battle
Red Explosion is literally almost the same as Magikoopa's robot; low speed, high magic, average defense, low attack, and average health. Unluckily for Luigi, he goes hard on him, so Luigi literally lost 14 HP in this battle!
END ROUND
Luigi: What was that all about!
Redfuse: You suck. It is your brother that rules, so I don't care for or about you.
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 7/30 (-14) (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Luigi: Good luck, soon-to-be-dead brother!
Mario: Mama-iah!
Mario quickly signs up and runs to the arena.
Redfuse: Hey Mario! I won't use Magic on you, since you are a great friend!
Mario: Yippee!
Mario- Rank 8 Battle
A very easy battle for Mario, because Redfuse lets him win pretty much. Still, Mario lost 3 HP.
END ROUND
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 16/25 (-3)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 8/10 (+1)
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Mario: I'm the winner!
Luigi: I'm so going to kick your-
Luigi's Shroom Phone rings.
Luigi: Damn. So close. Hello?
XXXXX: GO to THe sMOotHIe sHOp! bY, XxxXX
Luigi: Well, might as well go. C'mon, Mario!
Mario: Okey-dokey!
And for the 400th time, the return to the smoothie shop. Inside, they see nothing, so they talk to the bartender.
Bartender: Are you Mario and Luigi.
Luigi: Yes.
Bartender: Well, someone sent in these 2 presents. Mario gets 200 coins.
Mario: Yippee!
Mario takes the coins.
Bartender: And Luigi gets a stick.
Luigi: I am so going to kill the…
Mario: YAY! YIPPEE! YEAH! MAMA-IAH! OHHHHH NO!
Luigi: … who sent this damn present!
Bartender: Aren't you going to take the stick?
Luigi: Sure, I guess. Ugh…..
Luigi: It's a Nimbus 2104.
Harry Potter: Ohhhhhh! I want it! I want it!
Luigi: Fine.
Luigi throws it out of the window, and Harry jumps out of window, falling 60 feet and smacking into the ground.
Luigi: Loser…
Bartender: So, aren't you going to buy a Family Smoothie Pack?
Luigi: What is that?
Bartender: 4 smoothies with 2 smoothies that fully heal your robots.
Luigi: ((What a coincidence)) Sure.
Bartender: Normally, it would be 100 coins, but for you guys, it is only 40 coins!
Luigi: Deal.
Luigi then pays, and after for some weird reason Bow and Luigi Junior enter, the smoothies are finished, and the 4 characters and 2 machines sip away…
12:45 PM, 15 minutes after everyone got their smoothies…
Luigi Junior: Good luck!
And the two leave the major league room, leaving the two brothers again in the room. Inside, Luigi signs up for his next match.
Luigi- Rank 6 Battle
Ghost Bot has average health and attack, high speed and magic, and finally, low defense. Luigi wins and leaves with only 4 damage dealt to his robot.
END ROUND
Luigi: Hey, at least it seemed like the Boo went actually easy on me!
Boo: Not really. I guess I just upgraded the statuses in the wrong spots.
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 31/35 (-4) (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Mario: Lets-a-go! signs up
Mario- Rank 7 Battle
The EXACT SAME BATTLE, but Mario loses 3 instead of 4 health points thanks to high speed.
END ROUND
Mario: I'm the winner!
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 22/25 (-3)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 9/10 (+1)
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Luigi: At least I'm doing better than I was doing…
Bloat then suddenly barges in!
Bloat: Luigi and Mario, I forgot to tell you!
Bloat: On Rank 5,4,3,2 and 1 matches…
Bloat: …the enemies have a lot more points, so the fights get a lot more intense!
Bloat: Just tryin' to help!
When Bloat left, Luigi signed up for his next match.
Luigi- Rank 5 Battle
Red Hammer has high attack, average defense, average speed, average health, and high magic. Bloat was right! This fight was a very tough one for Luigi! Luigi's robot lost 23 HP and won mostly by luck!
END ROUND
Luigi: Wow, that was the hardest fight so far!
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 13/35 (-23) (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
When the fight was over, Bloat came in here again to give Mario and Luigi each 75 coins, then he said continue being good and left. Yet again, Luigi's Shroom Phone then rang!
Luigi: Damn, not XXXXX again, I don't feel like doing what it is saying!
Mystery Person: Stop trying to get to first place, or I will really kill you!
Luigi: That was definitely not XXXXX…
BTW, remember Mario gets a free point because he had to jump to Rank 15, so:
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 22/25
FP: 5/5
Speed: 10/10 (+1)
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Anyway, Luigi signed up for the next battle, after healing his robot with oil from the refridge of course!
Luigi- Rank 4 Battle
The B-G Spiker has high attack, high defense, high magic, average health, and average speed. Wow, this guy is pretty strong! Actually, Luigi only lost 7 HP in this battle, which must've been some miracle!
END ROUND
Luigi: Wow, I went lucky!
Koopatrol: Bowser wouldn't approve of this!
The Koopatrol then runs of crying.
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 33/40 (-7) (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Luigi: Baby…
Suddenly, Luigi's Shroom Phone ran YET AGAIN!
Luigi: You son of a…….. Hello?
XXXXX: LOok ON thE DeaD ToaD'S boDY! by, XXxxX
Luigi: Odd, he knew there is something on his body…
Luigi and Mario then walked into the smoothie shop for the umpteenth time, and entered the employee's area when the manager wasn't looking, and on the dead Toad's body was a key!
Luigi: Wow! This is pretty interesting!
The two grab it, return to the main hall, and try to unlock the door to the left of them. When this fails, they try every room on the floor, then they check finally on the door to the right of the smoothie shop, and the key fits in perfectly.
Luigi: Son of a…
((((((By the way, I guess Luigi says that phrase a lot when he is mad with Mario…))))))
They then walk in and climb up the stairs. On the second floor, they walk up to a broken pipe that leads over a crate blocking the door to the left. They walk up the pipe, then jump down on the other side of the crate and go through the door.
Inside this room, they see nothing… until they walk to the middle and someone drops down!
Mystery Person: You will pay for killing my brother!
Luigi: Are you that dead Toad's brother?
Mystery Person: You mean Sakon?
Luigi: So that's what his name was!
Sakon's Brother: You killed Sakon too!
Luigi: Wait, who is your first brother?
Sakon's Brother: Sakon.
Luigi: Huh?
Sakon's Brother: Look, I was just stalling so I could remember my brother's name.
Luigi: Sure…
Sakon's Brother: Anyway, die! By the way, I'm Cheft!
Mario: Ohhhhhh no! Bad!
Sakon's Brother (Cheft) then pulls out 2 long swords like his brother, and does a horizontal AND a vertical cut at Luigi, who simply crawls to the left so Cheft misses.
Cheft: I was never the best at swordsman classes…
Cheft then throws his swords to the side, and he takes out a Bob-omb belt. After this, he starts pelting Bob-ombs at Luigi! He isn't good at swordsmanship, but he is good at bombing! 80 percent of the bombs landed on Luigi, and they all exploded, causing Luigi's body to explode, which makes the body squirt blood all over of the place! Mario then snaps after seeing this.
Mario: You have killed my brother, Luigi! I shall KICK…YOUR…ASS!
Mario then becomes Ultra Fire Mario (a buff version of Fire Mario) and he starts doing stuff so violent that it is simply safer to say:
Beep.
After the battle ended, UFM pulled Cheft's detached arm off his shoulder and burnt it with a fireball. After this, he became regular Mario again. Suddenly, a figure slid down the pole and ran to Mario!
Mario: Wait………….. Luigi!
Luigi: Surprise!
Mario: But… how… when…
Luigi: Simple. While he was throwing all of the Bob-ombs, I knew he couldn't see!
Luigi: So, I took this time to pull out my red food coloring-stuffed dummy…
Luigi: And set it in front of the onslaught of Bob-ombs and quickly ran.
Luigi: I knew you would get your memory back and kick his butt so I didn't have to!
Mario: I see. Pretty skilled!
Luigi: Than-
Suddenly, a piece of metal hit Mario in the left side again!
Mario: Yippee!
Luigi: It was good as it lasted…
So the two picked up a Bob-omb that Cheft never threw and they threw it at the obvious crack in the wall on the other side. They ran through and entered, and inside was…
Koolba and Thiefo!
Thiefo: Shouldn't……..have……..looked……..in…….secret…….room…..URK!
Koolba: Shouldn't…….have……..been………interested……..in……own……ass…….
Luigi: I guess we should just leave and-
Mario: Ohhhhhhh no!
Luigi looked back at the opening and saw Bloat!
Bloat: Uhhhhhh……bye!
Bloat then leaves, so Luigi heads back to the major league room and signs up for the next match.
Luigi- Rank 3 Battle
Golden Hammer had high attack, defense, magic and speed, with average health. Thanks to this REALLY hard battle, Luigi loses 31 HP!
END ROUND
Luigi: Ohhhh yeah right!
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 7/40 (-31) (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Mario: It's-a-me, Mario! signs up
Mario- Rank 4 Battle
Same as Luigi, but lost 24 instead of 31 HP, and Mario used Magic.
END ROUND
Luigi: Lucky…
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 1/25 (-24)
FP: 2/5 (-3)
Speed: 10/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 7/10 (+1)
Both of the brothers healed their 'bots, then Luigi entered the next battle.
Luigi- Rank 2 Battle
Steel Chain has high attack, defense, speed, and health, but no magic. Luigi was creamed in this battle! He had to use up all of his magic, and use on Medipac, but he still won.
END ROUND
Luigi: Whew, that kept me sweating!
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 7/45 (-38) (+5)
FP: 0/5 (-5)
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Luigi then saw Mario snacking on a cake without him! By the time Luigi reached him, Mario ate the last piece!
Luigi: I…hate…you…so…much.
Mario: Let's go!
Mario then darts to the button and signs up for the battle Luigi just did.
Mario- Rank 3 Battle
The same thing happened to Mario, but because of stronger magic and higher speed, he still survived the war, even though he had only 25 HP!
END ROUND
Luigi: You keep scoring lucky, Mario!
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 1/25 (-24)
FP: 0/5 (-5)
Speed: 10/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 8/10 (+1)
YET AGAIN, Luigi's Shroom Phone rings!
Luigi: I should install a Spam Control… ahhhhh well… Hello?
XXXXX: BReaK The BRokEN waLL in THe mINor LEagUE roOM. By, XXxxX
Luigi: Sure…
The two run into the minor league room and break the wall, revealing 2 Life Shrooms! Luigi puts them into his pockets when…
XXXXX: HEal THe tWO inJUreD OneS In tHE roOM by THe sMOotHIe sHOp. xXXxx
Luigi: It's as if she is spying on us!
Once the two leave, XXXXX falls through the ceiling and lands on the ground!
XXXXX: Not again…
Back to the two brothers, they return to Koolba and Thiefo, and Mario and Luigi heal them. However, they run away instantly back to the minor league room, too scared to speak! The brothers do the same, but back to the major league room.
In here again, they both heal their robots and eat some ice cream bars from the fridge, then Luigi signs up for the next battle.
Luigi- Rank 1 Battle
Golden Shell has high attack, speed, health, and magic, but average defense. This is Luigi's WORST NIGHTMARE, for he uses 5 Medipacs, all of his magic, and ends up with 4 HP!
END ROUND
Luigi: My God that was hard, but at least now I am Number 1!
Bloat: Yes, and of course Mario gets another 2 points, while you get 1.
Bloat: Don't forget repairs!
Luigi: I know.
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 25/25
FP: 5/5
Speed: 10/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 10/10 (+1) (+1)
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 50/50 (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
Bloat: Finally, 200 coins to each of you!
Bloat pays up, and Luigi just faints. 10 minutes later, he wakes us, and both of them sign up for the champion match (the champion match can be a team match (the champion has 2 cars to fight)).
Mario & Luigi VVVSSSS The Champion
Mario's Car
Red Metal
Health: 25/25
FP: 5/5
Speed: 10/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 10/10 (+1) (+1)
Luigi's Car
Green Ember
HP: 50/50 (+5)
FP: 5/5
Speed: 7/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 6/10
VVVVVVVVVVSSSSSSSSSSS
Champion Cannon
HP: 35/35
FP: 10/10
Speed: 5/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 10/10
Champion Macho
HP: 20/20
FP: 10/10
Speed: 10/10
Strength: 10/10
Defense: 10/10
Magic: 10/10
It was a very long battle, but Champion Cannon got knocked out first, then Mario's Robot (weren't expecting that, ey?) got knocked out second. Finally, Luigi's Robot win by 1 HP!
THE ROBOT WARS CHAMPIONS ARE MARIO AND LUIGI!
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Well, this is the third out of 4 chapters done that involve getting the last Ultra High Tech Sonic Bomb (UHTSB)! Read the final piece later!
