Chapter 3: Pain
~.~
You might want to grab your tissues for this one. It's heartbreaking, and it's unfortunately true for me, and for some others that were born premature. I did my research. Well, I read an article about premature babies written back in 1997 (a long time ago, I know) and it inspired me to write this; I did some more research and incorporated my findings into this.
After HTTYD2
(Eret's POV)
It's a quiet night on Berk. The newlywed Mr. and Mrs. Nordisk – aka us – are busy reading when Becky suddenly sucks in her breath, putting a hand to her back.
"You all right, love?" I ask, looking at my wife with concern.
"It's just my back again."
"Anything I can do?"
"No, thank you. It's a nightly thing for me."
"A nightly thing? When were you planning on telling me, love?" I ask, feeling more concerned than anything else.
"I'm sorry...really, I am, Eret, but with everything we've been through – together and apart – seems a bit more important than back pain."
"My darling, if you are in pain, no matter what kind it is – physical or emotional – you can tell me. In sickness and in health, Becky."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I should've just told you, and I'm sorry."
"My Becky, you don't have to keep apologizing. I forgive you."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. So, why do you have back pain?"
"I think it's because I was born premature. Hold on. I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?"
"To see Valka, since Hiccup was born premature, too. I'm sure Ruffnut and Tuffnut were, too, but not as prematurely as me, so I can't exactly ask my parents about me since I was adopted."
"Mind if I go with you?" Becky shakes her head and I get up and walk with her to the Haddocks on the top of the hill, next to the Great Hall.
She knocks on the door and our chief opens it.
"Hey, Hiccup. Your mom home?" Becky asks.
"Yeah, just a sec. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I just have a few questions for her about premature babies."
"Okay. Mind if I ask why?"
"Hiccup, do you ever get pains? Like besides the phantom pains you get?"
"No, I don't. I mean, I get the occasional headache and sometimes panic attacks. Why?"
"You're one of the lucky ones, then. I remember reading somewhere that doctors don't know which babies will live a normal life and which will lead a life full of unremitting pain. And also, I may have been given something to relieve the pain to help me breathe as an infant. And I can't exactly ask my parents about it since I was adopted."
Valka comes to the door, overhearing the conversation.
"I do remember reading somewhere that if you're given something to relieve pain as a premature baby, you'll have a low tolerance for pain later in life." Hiccup says.
"That explains so much about me." I wrap an arm around Becky, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.
"Oh, Becky. I'm guessing you got the latter? You got the unremitting pain?" Valka asks.
"Unfortunately. Um...I've got the answers I need. Sorry to disturb you." Becky says. I can hear the tears in her voice as she walks away.
"I'd better go after her. Good night, chief. Valka." I say.
"Good night. Good luck, Eret." Hiccup says.
"Good night, Eret." Valka says.
"Thank you." Hiccup closes the door and I walk after my wife. I'm so worried about her, but I don't know what to do.
It's then I realize I don't see her in front of me.
"Becky? Becky, honey?" I call. But no answer.
I walk toward our house, but then see a figure on the top dock.
"That must be her." I tell myself. I walk towards the figure, and, sure enough, it's her.
"My love, what can I do? I'm so worried about you."
"Eret...I am so tired of being in pain every single night. I just can't handle it anymore."
It's breaking my heart to hear her talk like this.
"My darling, my Becky...it wrecks me and breaks my heart to see you in any pain, but if you kill yourself, the pain will be passed over to me, and to everyone that loves you and that you love. Granted, it may not be physical pain, but it will still be pain. I can't lose you. I can't lose you again. You are everything to me."
"What about your freedom from Drago? Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"Darling, my true freedom started the day I met you. You are my freedom. And if you kill yourself, I'll no longer be free. I'll be forever imprisoned in guilt." I've started crying but I don't care.
"I need you just as much as you need me." I say.
"But I can't...I can't. I can't handle the pain anymore. I can't..." She begins to sob. My heart shatters for her as I walk closer to her and hold her close.
"Oh, my sweetie. I will be your rock. I will be here to hold you and help you through this. Forever and always. I promise I am right here and I am not going to leave you. I am in it for the long run. My love, I am going to do whatever I can to help you through this. You are not your pain. We'll just take it one moment at a time, all right?"
I can feel her nod against me.
"I promise, Becky. One day you'll find peace, and I'll be by your side until and when that day comes. I promise." I kiss the top of her head as tears stream down our cheeks.
I look out at the world, knowing we'll get through this, for better or for worse.
