Chapter 10: Everyday Life with the Ultimate Nurse (Part 2)
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Ultimates of all ages, wesst1 here.
Can I just say that I am glad you all enjoyed the previous chapter? Relieved actually. I was worried that I had been too hard on Mahiru, which was never my intention. I don't really know why I was worried, but there was that bit I put in the author's note at the end about how men and women can both be scum. Scum is an equal opportunity label after all and even if you only played the first game, you know how true that is in Danganronpa. Sorry to go on about this, just wanted to get it off my chest.
I got some positive feedback about the Destiny crossover at the end, I'm happy about that.
But none of you came here to read my ramblings in the author's notes, you're here for a chapter about your favorite nurse and mine, Mikan.
With that out of the way, on with the story.
Present Day
Naegi didn't think that he had his hand on Tsumiki's shoulder for that long, but apparently Saionji did as she began shaking Naegi's shoulder in a plea for attention.
"Naegi-onii," Saionji pouted.
Naegi tried to cover it up but Tsumiki caught a look of pain on his face. Switching from the timid bully magnet to the professional Ultimate Nurse she asked, "Naegi-kun what's wrong? Is your shoulder still bothering you?"
"I think Saionji-senpai gripped it a little too hard is all," Naegi said, hoping to reassure the three girls now sending him worried looks. "It's fine. Really," Naegi said, "It's because I've been reckless. I've been shot in it and my arm came out of its socket during my time at Hope's Peak Elementary. If it hadn't been for Kimura-senpai's medicine, it be much worse from the bullet wound."
"Let me see it," Tsumiki ordered.
"Huh?" Naegi asked, not sure he had heard correctly.
"Take off your blazer and your hoodie and let me see it," Tsumiki demanded.
Naegi was uncomfortable but complied. He knew better than to argue with Tsumiki when she was doing her job. He just hoped he didn't have to take off his shirt in front of the girls.
Still, he reasoned, Tsumiki-senpai is at her best when she's utilizing her talent. With that in mind, Naegi couldn't help but remember how impressive Tsumiki had always been.
I will always take care of you, Naegi-kun. You are the one who made me happy to have been born, Tsumiki thought as she remembered her time with Naegi since the school year began.
Hope's Peak Academy-Girls' Dorm Dining Room
First Day of Classes
Naegi was still a confused by his earlier encounter with Koizumi, but knew he had a job to do. He had finished making dinner; called the girls in; and placed the food on the table. As he was finishing up placing the food on the table, he thought something seemed off.
"Wasn't there another girl in Class 77-B?" Naegi asked when it noticed an empty chair apart from his own. He knew all of his female classmates were here, so that left one of his senpai.
After counting her students, Yukizome said, "You're right Naegi-kun, Tsumiki-san isn't here."
"Is Mikan-chan not hungry?" Mioda wondered out loud.
"I went to call her for dinner, but she didn't answer the door. She was fine earlier so she isn't sick…I think," Nanami said.
"I could go check on her if you want, everyone else is already seated," Naegi suggested.
"She's my responsibility, but if you're offering…" Yukizome started. She had a pretty good idea of why Tsumiki hadn't come to dinner. As much as she had wanted to reassure her student, she thought maybe it would be better in the long run if Tsumiki made friends with some of her kōhai. It might also show what kind of person Naegi was.
"I don't mind," Naegi said. Before going upstairs, he saw the hungry looks on Owari and Asahina's faces and added, "It would be a shame if the food got cold, so if it seems like I'm taking too long, feel free to start eating. I can make something else for myself and Tsumiki-senpai."
Once Naegi was upstairs he began to check each of the nameplates until he found Tsumiki's room. Naegi had offered to check on her to be helpful, but now that he was here, he wasn't sure what to do once he knocked on the door. He had never actually spoken to Tsumiki. He figured winging it was his best bet since he had no idea what kind of person Tsumiki was. All he had to go off of was that she had seemed nervous, possibly even frightened of something, when she had given her self-introduction. "With your per-permis-mission, could I remember your names?" I wonder why she asked that, Naegi thought as he knocked on the door.
"Tsumiki-senpai! It's time for dinner!" Naegi called.
Naegi didn't hear anything through the door.
He tried again. "Tsumiki-senpai, are you not hungry?" he asked.
This time he did get a response as the muffled voice of Tsumiki Mikan said, "N-no, I am. I-I'll eat later though."
That confused Naegi. She was hungry, but she didn't want to eat right now? Naegi remembered that Ogami and the other girls had expected to be responsible for their own breakfast before he had agreed to handle meals at the dorm. Everyone had been fine then. The had all enjoyed breakfast together. But what if Tsumiki hadn't? Koizumi and Saionji had already expressed their displeasure at Naegi's presence at the dorm, maybe Tsumiki had been too polite to let on that she agreed with them.
With that thought in mind, Naegi asked, "Is it because I'm here?"
"W-what?" Tsumiki asked.
"I know it's weird having a boy in the girls' dorm Senpai. If it would make you feel better, I could eat my meals in the kitchen or something until you're more comfortable," Naegi suggested.
"I-it's not y-your fault! Please don't hate me!" Tsumiki wailed.
"'Hate you?' Senpai, I don't understand. Could you please open the door so we can talk?" Naegi asked.
Tsumiki did open the door, but before Naegi could even greet her, she yanked him inside her room.
It might be because I'm a little on the short side, but she is stronger than she looks, Naegi thought before looking at his senpai. For a girl who had just pulled him into her room, Tsumiki seemed very nervous. Naegi was nervous too. Being in a pretty girl's room would be nerve-wracking enough but given his current situation he was sure he could get in a lot of trouble for it. Before he could say anything however, Tsumiki spoke up.
"Ah, uhhhh, um..."
Naegi gave Tsumiki his full attention as she tried to speak.
"Um...you know..."
Naegi stayed silent but nodded in an attempt to encourage Tsumiki to say what was on her mind.
"...I-I'm sorry," Tsumiki finally blurted out.
"For what? Dinner? That's no big deal. I told Yukizome-sensei and the others to start without us if I took too long. I can make something else for us both if I have to. In fact, I kind of expected to since I don't know what everyone likes or if anyone has any specific dietary needs or allergies," Naegi explained. He also hoped that talking about something related to Tsumiki's talent would calm her down.
That seemed to work as Tsumiki calmed down a little as she smiled and said, "No one in my class has any special diets or allergies. I would need to check on your class though."
Naegi smiled too, it seemed he was making progress. He asked, "Tsumiki-senpai, you said you were hungry, is there a reason you don't want to join us for dinner?"
That question caused Tsumiki to retreat into her shell as she said, "I-I d-d-do w-want to eat with all of you, but…"
"But?" Naegi asked, encouraging her to continue.
"Um...you know... Uhhhh...my mind started drawing a blank...from nervousness. And... I went through all the trouble preparing 5,000 different topics to discuss!" Tsumiki finally managed to say.
"I'm not sure I follow," Naegi admitted.
"If I don't have anything to talk about, I'll ruin everyone's dinner a-and…and…" Tsumiki began.
"You wouldn't ruin anything Tsumiki-senpai. Even if you don't say anything, everyone will just be happy that you're there. I know I would, I want all of us to get along," Naegi told her.
"Heh heh, hehehehe...!" Tsumiki laughed.
"That's better. I'm glad you're not nervous anymore Senpai," Naegi said.
Suddenly aware of what she had been doing, Tsumiki said, "Ah! I-I'm sorry for laughing so suddenly! I-It's just...I can't help it. I'm just so happy, I can't remember the last time I made any friends."
Naegi wasn't sure what to make of that. It was clear that Tsumiki was shy and suffered from low self-esteem, but he couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to be friends with the girl in front of him.
Naegi's silence must have given Tsumiki the wrong idea as she began to panic. "Ah, not that you actually want to be friends with me! I'm soooo sorry I said something so...presumptuous!" she wailed.
Forget low self-esteem, Tsumiki-senpai has no self-esteem, Naegi thought. He wanted to say something to calm his senpai down but before he could, Tsumiki started begging.
"I'll do anything you say... Just...please don't hate me...!"
"I don't hate you Senpai. I'm sorry if I did anything that would make you think that I did," Naegi said. Even he was beginning to panic. Not only was he not getting Tsumiki to come to dinner, he somehow had upset her, but he didn't understand how.
"I'm sorry that Naegi-kun thinks he needs to apologize to me! I'm so, so, so sorry!" Tsumiki responded.
"You don't have to be sorry for anything Senpai. You haven't done anything wrong. And you weren't being presumptuous earlier, I want us to be friends too," Naegi explained.
That seemed to calm Tsumiki down at the moment as she sniffled and asked, "Really?"
"Of course. We've only just met, but I can't see how anyone wouldn't want to be your friend, Tsumiki-senpai," Naegi said.
Once Tsumiki had calmed down some more, Naegi said, "Now Tsumiki-senpai, let's go get dinner. Hopefully the others left us something."
The second those words left his lips, Naegi knew he had screwed up as Tsumiki started to apologize for nothing again. "I'm sorry. We're late because of me," she said as tears started to well up in her eyes.
"It's fine Senpai," Naegi said quickly. "If I have to make more food for the two of us I will. We can say that it's a dinner to celebrate us becoming friends," he added.
Tsumiki's face was positively radiant upon hearing that. She found herself hoping that there was nothing left at the table. It didn't come to that though, as somehow there was still enough for the two of them to eat. Tsumiki was a little disappointed, but Naegi had made sure to pay plenty of attention to her throughout the meal so she cheered up right away.
Hope's Peak Academy-Girls' Dorm
Second Day of Classes
Dinner had ended a while ago and Tsumiki was by herself in the common area. Everyone had gone off to do their own things, leaving the Ultimate Nurse wishing someone would come and pay attention to her.
Why is this happening? Did I do something wrong? Does no one here care whether I'm here or not? What do I do? she asked herself. For Tsumiki Mikan, nothing was worse than being ignored.
"Mikan-chan!" a familiar voice called.
"Huh?" she gasped as she turned to the source of the voice. Mioda and Naegi had entered the common area without her noticing. "Mioda-san! Naegi-kun! G-good e-e-evening. You are both having a good evening, right? I'm not making either of you think about something bad that happened, am I?" Tsumiki asked in a panic.
"No, nothing like that Senpai, we came here to talk to you," Naegi said before Tsumiki could start up again. He thought it would be for the best if he didn't give Tsumiki a chance to apologize for nothing. I wonder why she does that though, he thought.
"Y-you both came to talk to me?" Tsumiki asked happily. Someone is paying attention to me and they aren't doing mean things to me! This is wonderful, she thought.
"Yeah. We were actually hoping you could answer a question about something that came up at lunch," Naegi began.
"Ibuki was on top of Makoto-chan and wondered if someone can eat while flat on their back," Mioda finished. While Naegi thought that it was probably better that Mioda explained why the topic had come up, he couldn't help blushing when Mioda said that she was on top of him. He knew other people had seen what had happened, but it still sounded wrong without the full context.
Tsumiki switched from frightened bully magnet to professional Ultimate Nurse as she explained, "Supposedly, one of the risks associated with lying down while eating is slow motility and delay in digestion unlike if you are sitting. Eating while lying down is also a known risk factor of reflux esophagitis. It can also result in heartburn or GERD, a syndrome where the lower esophagus does not close off properly after swallowing. This usually allows the stomach and food acid to move up from the stomach into the esophagus. Heartburn, as you know, is a burning sensation around the chest area where the esophagus is located and the best way to prevent this is to sit while eating. That said, most of these side effects are mere assumptions and speculations. No research has proved these assertions to be true, but as a nurse, I recommend you sit up and eat."
"Alright Mikan-chan, Ibuki will sit up and eat," Mioda promised, not at all affected by the drastic change in her friend's personality.
Naegi just stared in awe. That was impressive, he noted.
Tsumiki misinterpreted his silence and began to apologize, "I-I'm sorry!"
"W-what's wrong?" Naegi asked.
"I-I thought... You clearly looked like you were in a bad mood," Tsumiki explained. She then asked fearfully, "D-Did I do something wrong again?"
"N-no, I swear, I was just impressed," Naegi tried to tell her. He looked to Mioda for assistance, but she was nowhere to be found. That was fast. I guess we did only say we'd ask about eating while lying down. Maybe she went to plan our first club meeting, Naegi guessed.
"Wh-What should I do? Um...would it make you happier if I took my clothes off?" Tsumiki asked.
That's the last thing I need, to be caught with a girl saying she'll strip, Naegi thought in a panic. He really hoped no one heard her suggest that. By some miracle, Naegi managed to keep the panic out of his voice and say, "That's really not necessary, Tsumiki-senpai."
"You're right... You don't want to see me naked, right? Then, how about my money...?" Tsumiki asked.
"I really don't want anything," Naegi said. He was running out of ideas, Tsumiki seemed to be able to twist everything he said into an insult to her.
"Nggggh...I'm sorry..." Tsumiki said. She was almost in tears at this point.
"Please Senpai, I just want to talk to you normally," Naegi pleaded. Maybe changing the subject will work, he thought.
"Talk? U-Um...um," Tsumiki fumbled with her words as she tried to find a subject. Her thoughts were faring much worse. He's going to hate me because I'm boring. Worse, he won't pay attention to me at all if I can't think of something to talk about! Why is this happening? I memorized 5,000 different topics and can't remember any!
"I thought today was pretty interesting," Naegi said, trying to start of simple.
"Y-Yeah..." Tsumiki agreed.
"..." Naegi waited in silence for a follow-up that would never come.
"..." Tsumiki waited for a response Naegi didn't know he wasn't sure he should give. Tsumiki's patience gave out first as she apologized again. "I-I'm sorry... Should I... take off my clothes?"
Okay, that didn't work. Small talk isn't going to cut it, Naegi thought. He remembered how animated Tsumiki got when she explained why one shouldn't eat lying down. Maybe something related to nursing and medicine, Naegi reasoned. Hoping it was the right call, Naegi asked, "Um, Tsumiki-senpai, what type of bandage do you like the most?"
Tsumiki perked up upon hearing the word "bandage" and after considering the question, answered happily. "Let's see... There are a lot of different types these days. It's extremely convenient because there are waterproof types and sticky types. But I definitely like non-elastic types the best. They're not too constricting, but they still firmly secure wounds!"
Naegi felt like he should have been taking notes. While he was fond of the timid Tsumiki, he couldn't help but feel drained after trying to reassure her that she had done nothing wrong. This knowledgeable, professional, and most importantly, happy Tsumiki was a welcome change every now and then.
Tsumiki suddenly became aware that she had been doing all the talking on the subject of bandages and said, "Ah...s-sorry. I went ahead and started talking on my own."
"You don't need to apologize Senpai, I was more than happy to listen. It was nice learning about bandages from the Ultimate Nurse, you made a topic I'd never given much thought to become interesting," Naegi said.
"Really?" Tsumiki asked.
"Really," Naegi replied with a smile.
Tsumiki managed to give a small smile in return.
Naegi would have liked to have spent more time talking to Tsumiki, but he couldn't really think of any other topics in her field, so he said, "It's been fun Senpai, but I think I'm gonna call it a night."
Before he could leave, Tsumiki said, "U-Um! If it's not too much trouble for you, I would like to...talk to you again. It's been a while since anyone talked to me like this...so..."
Naegi was a little concerned about how Tsumiki had worded that, but he still said, "Of course. Any time. I'll be sure to research topics that you'll find interesting for next time too."
Tsumiki was taken aback by that. No one had ever made an effort for her sake, it was always the other way around. "Th-Thank you very much," she stuttered out. As a feeling she was unfamiliar with filled her heart, she began to giggle quietly. "Heh heh...hehehehehe..."
Hope's Peak Academy-Girls' Dorm
Fifth Week of Classes-Sunday
The sun had risen like any other day, but for the residents at the dorm, it was not like any other day. The night before, Mioda had her disastrous reunion concert with her band and the peppy, energetic musician was depressed. She hadn't come out of her room, not even for meals. Naegi couldn't blame her for feeling down, but she had to eat.
Around lunch time, Naegi was preparing something simple for Mioda, miso soup. It was light, but it would fill her stomach. He would have gone to Hanamura to inquire about Mioda's favorite food, but he didn't want to explain what had happened last night if Hanamura hadn't already heard. As much as Mioda needed support, Naegi doubted her classmates all crowding into her room at once would fix the problem, it was hard enough to keep the female half of Class 77-B from going in all at once. Chances are the guys will find out tomorrow anyway. Mioda-senpai's mood hasn't improved even a little bit today, Naegi said to himself. Still, he did wish he could do better for his friend.
"U-um, Naegi-kun?"
"Hmm?" Naegi turned and noticed Tsumiki trying to get his attention. "Oh, hello Tsumiki-senpai," Naegi greeted.
Tsumiki, who feared that Naegi had been attempting to ignore her, asked, "U-Um... Did I do something wrong again?"
Naegi shook his head and said, "No Senpai, I'm just thinking about last night. I wish I knew how to cheer Mioda-senpai up, but I don't know what else I can do besides show some support and try to get her to eat. I'd make her favorite food for her, but don't even know what her favorite food is. Some friend I am, huh?"
Tsumiki could tell Naegi was hurting, and so she said, "U-Um... If you would like to talk, I don't really know what everyone likes yet and there might be lots of things I'm not good at doing, but...I'll do anything so please let me know!"
"I appreciate the offer Senpai, but unless we could put on the concert Mioda wanted, we may just have to let this run its course," Naegi said.
"Um, I don't play an instrument, but Yukizome-sensei knows how to play guitar. She played with Mioda-san when she started as our teacher," Tsumiki said.
Naegi had been half joking but it looked like putting on the concert Mioda wanted might not be so impossible after all. "I'll have to check with Yukizome-sensei later, but you've just given me a brilliant idea Senpai. Thank you!" Naegi said happily.
"Of course! If it will make someone happy, I'll do anything!" Tsumiki said enthusiastically.
A little too enthusiastically for Naegi, who said, "Senpai, I'm not sure you should be that eager to make that offer."
"Huuuh? Why?" Tsumiki asked.
"It's just…people could misinterpret that and…" Naegi trailed off. He wasn't sure how to properly explain this. Given that Tsumiki-senpai offered to take off her clothes twice the last time we were having a conversation alone, I'm afraid of just how far she'll let people take "anything," Naegi said to himself.
"Well, I mean...before I even became a student here, everyone else didn't seem to mind," Tsumiki said.
"Everyone else?" Naegi asked. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what he heard, but if he wanted to understand Tsumiki, he knew he had to know about her life from before Hope's Peak.
"For fun, I tried eating strange bugs, and I let people use my body when there wasn't anything else to write on. Also, I had to be responsible for debts, and be the target for dart games, so… I'm pretty useful, you know," Tsumiki explained.
Naegi was stunned. He had a feeling that Tsumiki had been bullied in the past, but here she was acting like it was no big deal. Naegi couldn't help but ask, "You didn't actually enjoy any of that, did you?"
"Obviously, I don't want to do that stuff at all. But...if it makes everyone not hate me and smile at me, then it's much better," Tsumiki explained.
No Senpai, no it isn't. You're worth so much more than that, Naegi thought with a frown.
"U-Um...Naegi-kun, would you like to try it out, too?" Tsumiki asked.
"Huh?"
"Doodling is very fun. Please draw on me wherever you like!"
"I don't want to draw on you Senpai," Naegi said.
"U-Um... Also...I'm good at pretending to be a pig. I'll do it... I'll do it right now... Just please don't look at me like that!" Tsumiki begged.
Look at her like what? Was I…oh! I was frowning, Naegi realized. "N-no, Senpai, I was thinking that you should value yourself more," Naegi said.
Unfortunately, even that was the wrong thing to say, since Tsumiki began to apologize again. "Ah... S-Sorry. I-I'm sorry... I'm terribly sorry... I'll make sure to get it right... I'll make sure I get it right the next time. So please talk to me again! I beg of you!" Tsumiki wailed.
"Sure, I promise. I'll always have time for you Senpai. Let me take this soup up to Mioda-senpai and then we can go find Yukizome-sensei. I have to talk to her about that brilliant idea you gave me," Naegi said, hoping that he could boost Tsumiki's confidence.
"Yes...I'll be waiting...forever..." Tsumiki said.
"I wouldn't make you wait that long Senpai," Naegi said in an attempt to make Tsumiki's comment less unsettling. He hoped one day he would learn what made Tsumiki this way, but for now he would do his best to build her up.
True to his word, minutes later, Naegi and Tsumiki found Yukizome and hatched a plan to cheer up Mioda. It may not have boosted her confidence, but Naegi had kept his promise to her. And that had made Tsumiki happy. I like this. He kept his promise. He doesn't hate me. Maybe Naegi-kun really is my friend, she thought.
Hope's Peak Academy-Infirmary
Sixth Week of Classes-Saturday
Today had been pretty uneventful, at least in terms of sick and injured students. Tsumiki supposed she should be happy about that, but it did make her feel lonely and unneeded. The sun wasn't close to setting but she decided to head back to the dorm for the day. There's always tomorrow. I'm sure someone will need a nurse soon, she thought.
Someone needed a nurse sooner than she had expected apparently, as Ogami came in carrying Asahina with Naegi following close behind.
"Tsumiki-senpai, do you have a moment? Asahina sprained her ankle," Naegi said.
Tsumiki smiled before getting to work. She removed the handkerchief that Naegi had used as a brace for Asahina and proceeded to examine the younger girl's injury. Tsumiki didn't doubt that Naegi was correct, but there were varying degrees of sprains, so she had to check. When she finished, she said, "This is a Grade 1 sprain, Asahina-san needs to refrain from anything that would strain her ankle further for the next two to six weeks. I'll write you an excuse to get you out of P.E."
"UUUUUUUUGGGGGHH!" Asahina groaned. That was not what she wanted to hear.
Apparently, Asahina groaning was not what Tsumiki needed to hear as she froze up with the finished excuse in her hand.
Ogami had immediately looked at Asahina when the swimmer made her outburst and said, "Asahina-san, I know you like to keep moving, but Tsumiki-senpai knows what she's doing. Whether you like it or not, you must listen to her."
Since Ogami had not been looking at Tsumiki, she did not see the nurse freeze up, but Naegi had. "Sorry about that Senpai, we all really do appreciate what you are doing for our classmate," he said, hoping to snap the poor girl back to her senses.
"O-oh t-that's fine," Tsumiki said, her professional aura once again replaced by her timid one. She handed Asahina the excuse, after which Ogami and Asahina left the infirmary.
Naegi knew by now how sensitive Tsumiki was and figured he had best pick up the pieces of what Asahina had unintentionally shattered. "Tsumiki-senpai, about before..." he began.
"N-n-n-n-no one did anything wrong. It was my fault. That's definitely it...!" Tsumiki declared.
Naegi held back the urge to sigh, knowing that it would only make things worse and said, "W-Well, it really wasn't anyone's fault. Asahina was upset because she can't stand not being active. She wasn't upset with you, if anything she was upset with her injury." Naegi decided the best course of action would be to change the subject before Tsumiki began reading too much into it again. Before he could though, Tsumiki beat him to it.
Tsumiki took a close look at him and said, "Huh? Naegi-kun, you look pale."
"Huh...? R-Really?" Naegi asked. He hadn't really noticed, but he trusted Tsumiki.
"Yes, your blood circulation looks worse than usual," Tsumiki told him. She then asked, "Have you been eating breakfast? Have you been getting enough sleep?"
"Now that you mention it, I have been waking up earlier than usual," Naegi said. It was true, he wasn't sure why, but he was waking up too early. Lately, he had a lot on his mind with trying to balance school work, his friends, and his duties at the dorm.
"I understand that sometimes you can't help it but try to avoid consuming any stimulants before you sleep, take deep breaths, and do some light stretching. Little things like that should help with the quality of your sleep. If you don't get enough sleep, it can weaken your immune system and lead to various illnesses," Tsumiki lectured.
Naegi was content to let Tsumiki keep going. He was so impressed with her right now that he couldn't help but smile. He hoped that Tsumiki could understand her true value one day and be like this all the time.
"So please be careful. Also..." Tsumiki began before she noticed the look she was getting. "...Um? Is something the matter?" she asked.
"Not at all. I was so impressed that I didn't want to stop listening. You're really amazing Senpai," Naegi said.
It was a compliment of course, but Tsumiki misinterpreted it again, "Ah... I-I forgot to get ahold of myself again. I-I'm terribly sorry! I'm terribly sorry!"
"You don't need to be sorry, you really are amazing. As expected of the Ultimate Nurse," Naegi said, not even sure why Tsumiki was apologizing this time.
"It's not that big of a deal. I'm just skilled at reading people's faces. I've been like this ever since I was young," Tsumiki began.
Naegi had both been looking forward to and dreading this moment. He did want to learn more about Tsumiki, but he was afraid of what it was he might learn. Although, he thought, if she's opening up to me, I might be able to help her.
"I would get beaten up at school and at home a lot... Since nobody would treat me when I was hurt, I just did it myself and eventually, I got good at it. That's...it, really," Tsumiki explained.
Beaten up at home? Does she have siblings? I know that some brothers and sisters have fights that can turn physical, but that doesn't sound like what this is. I want to ask her, but maybe I should hold off until Tsumiki-senpai is more comfortable around me, Naegi reasoned. He wanted to know more but he thought that the best approach to take with Tsumiki was to take it slow and build more trust, so instead of asking for more details he said, "B-But...I think you have an amazing talent for helping people. I mean, even now...you noticed right away that I wasn't feeling well, right? So, thank you for...caring about me. Knowing I have a friend like you, Senpai, makes me believe that I really am the Ultimate Lucky Student."
If the blush on her face was any indication, Tsumiki was touched by those words. After calming down a bit, she said, "I always treated myself for my own sake. But...one day I realized something."
Naegi tilted his head in confusion. He really had no idea where Tsumiki was going with this.
"Sick people and injured people are weaker than me," Tsumiki declared.
I suppose that's true, but I don't know if that's how one should think of it, Naegi thought.
"I mean...if you ignore a sick or injured person, they won't be able to endure the pain. And if worse comes to worse, they could even die, right? But if I know the proper way to treat them, that means my words are absolute," Tsumiki explained.
That's true, Naegi mentally agreed. He couldn't help the uneasy feeling he was getting though.
"Which means they'll need me. They'll depend on me completely. That's why I can't leave the sick and the injured alone. Because they always listen to what I say," Tsumiki finished.
So that's it. Tsumiki-senpai wants people to acknowledge her true worth. But Senpai, if you won't, then it doesn't matter how many other people acknowledge how amazing you are, Naegi thought.
It seemed that Tsumiki finally noticed Naegi's silence and started panicking. "U-Um...Naegi-kun...? I-I said something unnecessary again... I-I'm sorryyyyyy! Um, do you want me to buy you something to drink!?"
"Huh? No, I'm fine Senpai," Naegi said quickly.
"Ah, I know! I'm also really good at imitating a sea turtle when she's about to lay eggs," Tsumiki said.
Naegi didn't even want to know where that came from. He put his hand on Tsumiki's shoulder and said, "You don't need to do any of that Senpai. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I didn't?" Tsumiki asked. It was almost like she didn't know how something could not be her fault.
"Of course not. I was just thinking that I'm starting to understand you better. I'm really happy about that," Naegi said with a smile.
"Y-you are?" Tsumiki asked. To her this was impossible too. In her mind, she wasn't interesting, pretty, or anything really.
"I am. I know we haven't known each other that long, but I want you to know that I consider you one of my precious friends, so please don't put yourself down so much?" Naegi asked.
P-precious friend? Me? Tsumiki thought as her heart felt full and warm at Naegi's words. "O-okay. I'll try," she said.
"Good. And in exchange, I'll do my best to follow your advice from now on. I'll start after dinner tonight," Naegi said with another smile. Seeing the clock on the wall, Naegi said, "Speaking of which, I had better get back to the dorm and get started on dinner. But before I go, do you need help finishing up here, Senpai?"
"N-no, you should get started on dinner. You've…" Tsumiki started to say.
"I've…what?" Naegi asked, curious about what Tsumiki was trying to say.
"It's not important," Tsumiki said.
"If you're saying it then of course it's important Senpai. Your words, your feelings, they're all just as important as anyone else's," Naegi said.
Tsumiki's heart started beating faster as she said, "I'll tell you someday."
"It's a promise then," Naegi said as he waved good-bye and left the infirmary for the dorm.
"I was going to say that you've already done so much for me," Tsumiki said as she got ready to close the infirmary for the evening. She hoped the seat next to Naegi would be available at the dinner table. She wanted to keep feeling whatever it was he made her feel.
Hope's Peak Academy-Main Gate
Tenth Week of Classes-Sunday
It had been a long night. For Souda, for Tanaka, for the staff of the Novoselic Embassy, but especially for Sonia and Naegi. It could be argued that it was worse for Naegi since he was the only one who sustained a serious injury. The paramedics' faith in Kimura's medicine was well placed, although Naegi's shoulder was still sensitive.
Tsumiki, worried for her junior, went to the main gate to check on him. She had faith in Kimura too, but that didn't change the fact that she was a nurse, so she couldn't just accept that Naegi was alright on faith. The Ultimate Nurse had looked at his shoulder as soon as she saw him. She hadn't noticed anything wrong, but Naegi had told her that it was still sensitive. She said that she would be more than happy to take a look at it if the problem persisted. After he had thanked her, the two of them made their way back to the dorm.
Naegi wanted to start a conversation but wasn't really sure what to talk about. As he mulled over possible topics, Tsumiki spoke.
"Ah...u-um... Are you going to talk to me again?" she asked.
"What?" Naegi asked. He was shocked. Tsumiki never really started the conversations.
"Ah...I-I'm sorry. I lost control of myself and said whatever I wanted. But...you were making a face like, 'There's nothing to talk to her about.' Just as I thought...I'm a nuisance..." Tsumiki moaned.
"You've never been a nuisance, Senpai. I just can't think of anything because right now, all I can think of is what happened earlier. Not exactly the most pleasant topic," Naegi explained.
"Haaaaaaaaah!?" Tsumiki shrieked.
"Senpai! Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?" Naegi asked as he tried to look for anything Tsumiki could have been injured with.
"Ah, um... No one has ever said that to me before," Tsumiki said softly.
To Naegi, the worst part of that statement was that he believed it. As curious as he was about Tsumiki's past, he was still afraid of what he would learn, or rather, what he would do with that information.
"Um... Thank you very much," Tsumiki said.
"You're welcome, Senpai," Naegi said. Really, what else could he say?
"Um... Can I ask you about something?" Tsumiki asked.
"You can ask me whatever you want Senpai," Naegi told her. He was happy that she was taking the initiative this time and wanted to keep that going.
"Naegi-kun...did you like school?" she asked.
"You mean before I entered Hope's Peak Academy?" Naegi asked to clarify. When Tsumiki nodded, he continued, "Let's see...I didn't really hate it. I wasn't crazy about it, but I did enjoy seeing all of my friends, so it wasn't so much different from now I guess."
"My first year at Hope's Peak was my first time feeling things like 'fun'. I felt that for the first time after I met my class last year. For the first time, I learn that that...is very fun. Everyone is finally acknowledging me, and I finally feel useful," Tsumiki stated.
"I'm glad you like it here Senpai, I don't think I'd enjoy Hope's Peak as much without you," Naegi said sincerely.
Tsumiki froze up at that. It was one of the kindest things she had ever heard.
"I wasn't sure that I should accept my invitation to Hope's Peak. I thought there was someone more deserving out there, but I'm glad I came. It's because I made friends like you that I can enjoy my time here," Naegi explained as they had just got to the dorm's entrance.
They had just been about to open the door when they heard three voices scream, "NO!"
Naegi who had been frozen in place by that scream just thought, I wonder if I should be worried about that? He looked over at Tsumiki who seemed just as shocked as he did and then he said, "So yeah, despite the occasional weirdness, I think I enjoy Hope's Peak quite a lot."
Tsumiki giggled in response. It wasn't forced or anything and Naegi thought it was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.
Hope's Peak Academy-Infirmary
Twelfth Week of Classes-Saturday
Naegi had just gotten back to the dorm with Ogami and Asahina after his confrontation with Asahina's date. He wasn't a violent person by nature, but even he had his limits. If there was anything he regretted about punching Fukuyama, it was the pain in his hand. The pain hadn't lessened on the way back to the dorm, so he asked Asahina and Ogami to go on ahead while he went to the infirmary.
"Tsumiki-senpai? Are you here?" he asked as he arrived at his destination.
"N-naegi-kun! Are you alright?" Tsumiki asked as she saw him clutching his hand.
"I injured my hand when I… Well, I punched Asahina's date because he was insulting her," Naegi admitted. He was a little worried about how Tsumiki would react to that. The poor girl already thought people hated her for some reason, he didn't want her to think he was violent on top of that.
"L-let me see," Tsumiki said simply. After a brief examination, she said, "Nothing is broken, but it is going to swell up. You'll want to keep icing it."
"Thank you Senpai," Naegi said.
"Does it hurt much?" Tsumiki asked.
"Not as bad as when I got shot, that was easily the worst pain I've ever been in. Getting the bullet removed was torture, apparently local anesthetics would have made Kimura-senpai's medicine less effective," Naegi said.
"Do you know where you should target someone if you want to effectively torture them?" Tsumiki asked.
Naegi was taken aback by the question, but he had used the word "torture", so he figured he was in no position to comment on it, and just said, "I don't know. I've never thought about it."
"It's simple. You can target anywhere, really. As long as you avoid fatal areas like the head and stomach. There are areas that aren't fatal but still very painful, such as the shoulders and back," Tsumiki said.
Oh, that's why it was so painful, that makes sense, Naegi thought. He knew getting shot was no laughing matter, but what Tsumiki said made him feel like less of a wimp for complaining about his shoulder when it could have been much worse. However, some feeling in the pit of Naegi's stomach told him Tsumiki wasn't done.
That feeling was proven right as she continued, "You can punch and kick those areas, or even put a cigarette out on them."
"That's oddly specific Senpai," Naegi said hoping that Tsumiki was just giving a rather morbid example.
Tsumiki, however, seemed to be lost in some memory as she said, "Repeatedly...over and over..."
"Senpai?" Naegi asked, worried for his friend.
"But ever since I arrived at Hope's Peak... Nobody has tried to do that to me," Tsumiki continued absently.
WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HER! Naegi screamed in his own mind. When Naegi had punched Fukuyama, he had been angry. Now, hearing what some other human being, though he did not believe that they deserved to be called human, had done to someone like Tsumiki Mikan, he was seeing red. It was Tsumiki's voice brought him back to his senses.
"Because of that...this place is like heaven to me," she finished.
"Senpai," Naegi cried as he pulled the older girl in for a hug. Every bit of gratitude, all of his feelings of friendship, he hoped that he could convey them all to her in this gesture.
Tsumiki was surprised at first and then quietly said, "Naegi-kun... This is the first time I've ever talked about my feelings like this with someone, so please don't hate me."
"I-I won't. There's no way I'll hate you. No way I could ever hate you," Naegi said almost in tears. He had to talk to Asahina, so he tried his best not to cry, even though Tsumiki deserved someone to cry for her. But he would be back, nothing would keep him from comforting this girl, who was in so much pain before him. This girl, who by all rights should have hated the world that did this to her, but instead became one of the angels of mercy called a nurse.
"...Thank you," Tsumiki said quietly as she finally relaxed into the hug.
"Senpai…I have to go take care of something, but I'll be back, I promise. I'm here for you," Naegi said.
Tsumiki nodded and both reluctantly let go.
After speaking with Asahina, and one lecture from his mother, Naegi did find Tsumiki again. After dinner the two had spent the whole evening together.
It's not your fault, Naegi thought, It's not...Tsumiki-senpai's fault. That was definitely for certain, there was no denying it. And as Naegi watched Tsumiki smile, he swore he would find a way to help her. He hoped soon, but he knew it might be a battle to be fought later.
Hope's Peak Academy-Infirmary
Thirteenth Week of Classes-Sunday
Naegi hoped he wasn't smothering Tsumiki, but because of what he had learned last night he felt the need to spend more time with the older girl. It was because of that feeling that he made his way to the infirmary after taking care of the dishes this morning. He entered to find Tsumiki engrossed in restocking medical supplies. She hadn't noticed him, so he decided to announce his presence.
"Tsumiki-senpai," he said.
"Ah! Naegi-kun!? When did you...?" she started to ask. As she pivoted to face him, she lost her footing and somehow landed in a rather…exposed position.
Naegi rushed over to make sure Tsumiki was okay and to help her to her feet. "I'm sorry Senpai, I came to hang out, not startle you. Are you alright?" Naegi asked as he knelt down and reached out a hand for her.
"Really...?" Tsumiki asked quietly. She wanted to believe him but seemed terrified to actually do it. Someone wants to spend time with me? she asked herself. She wanted to believe the best of Naegi. He had never given her a reason not to, but that didn't change the fact that people would pick on her for little to no reason. Would Naegi do the same one day?
"Of course! I told you yesterday, 'I'm here for you,'" Naegi reminded her. "You're not sick of me already, are you?" Naegi asked, jokingly.
Sadly, the joke was lost on Tsumiki. "Ah, I'm s-sorry for saying something so rude!" Tsumiki shouted. "Y-You're mad, right? You'd normally get mad right now, right?" she asked.
Naegi knew that he had screwed up. He had thought that Tsumiki had been getting at least a little better, but it seemed that anything that could be construed as negative cause her to relapse completely. "I'm sorry Tsumiki-senpai, I was trying to be funny. I'm not mad and you didn't say anything rude," Naegi explained.
"Is that...normal...?" Tsumiki asked. She was clearly confused, but Naegi had no idea what it was that was confusing her.
"Is what normal?" Naegi asked. He was sure he was about to learn about the source of Mikan's issues. Yesterday had been the beginning, but he knew there was more. Like why she offered ideas on how to torment and humiliate her.
Instead of answering she asked another question, "Why...?"
"'Why?' What?" Naegi asked.
"This is my second year, and no one is pouring water on me or throwing mud at me! You never yell at me or blame me for things. Does everyone hate me or something!? Is that why everyone isn't doing anything to me!?" Tsumiki asked.
"Senpai, I think you're confused. The reason no one does that is because they don't hate you," Naegi tried to explain. There was no going back now, Tsumiki was laying herself bare and Naegi was going to help her.
"But doesn't that mean that...they actually don't care whether I exist or not?" Tsumiki asked sounding terrified.
"Huh?" Naegi had no idea how she had come to that conclusion. He thought he would be ready for what Tsumiki would say, but he never would have expected that.
"Nobody...cares about me...!" Tsumiki wailed as she started to cry.
Naegi knew what he had to say but he needed Tsumiki to calm down first. So, he pulled her into a hug and began to rub her back. Thankfully, this gave Naegi time to process this new information. So, what scares Tsumiki-senpai the most isn't violence or being hated, but when nobody is interested in her at all. It all makes sense now. That's why Tsumiki-senpai has been trying to avoid that, no matter what, even if it means making herself a human punching bag. I can't believe I finally realized that. It seems so obvious now, Naegi mentally chided himself.
Once Tsumiki had calmed down, Naegi let go of her and said, "Tsumiki-senpai, of course everyone cares about you. For me, you're one of my irreplaceable, most precious friends, and I know that I'm not the only one. I know that maybe it seems like we aren't paying enough attention to you, but just because we have something on our minds or we have things we need to do, doesn't mean we've forgotten you. None of us could ever forget such an important friend."
"Friend...? Me...and everyone else...? I-Is that...even possible?" Tsumiki asked. She was afraid to believe it, but she wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to.
Naegi nodded. "You know you can believe me, right?" he asked.
Of course, I do. Thank you very much... I want to believe in you. Because you...are the person who has forgiven me," Tsumiki said happily.
The conversation just now, as well as the one from last night, had taken a toll on Naegi, but the fact that Tsumiki Mikan had believed that she needed to be forgiven for…what? Naegi didn't know for sure but taking what he knew now, it almost seemed like she was apologizing for being born. Naegi could feel his heart breaking at the very notion that anyone, especially Tsumiki Mikan, could think that their existence was something to apologize for. He embraced Tsumiki again, and the tears from last night finally flowed.
"Naegi-kun?" Tsumiki asked, confused.
"You haven't done anything wrong," Naegi whispered forcefully. "Tsumiki-senpai, thank you. Thank you for being my senpai. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being born. Thank you for giving me a chance to meet you. You don't need to apologize or ask for anyone's forgiveness for that. I should apologize for not helping sooner," Naegi continued through his sobs.
"Naegi-kun," Tsumiki said happily. By this time, the shock at the embrace had turned to pure joy at Naegi's words and she couldn't help but cry too. Not from sorrow or fear, but, for the first time in her life, from genuine happiness. It's okay that was born? It's okay that I exist? Tsumiki had never heard this from anyone before, but she trusted Naegi.
"I'm sorry Senpai. I had a feeling that you were hurting, but I didn't know how to help. So, I held back for weeks because I was afraid to make it worse. I'm sorry I didn't make more of an effort, I could have helped sooner," Naegi choked out through more tears.
"It's okay. You've done more for me than you could possibly know. Thank you," Tsumiki whispered.
They stayed like that for a while, Tsumiki tightening her embrace every so often to ensure that it wasn't just some wonderful dream. That there was someone out there that valued her this much. After calming down a bit, Naegi thought, I know it's difficult to change all at once...but I really want to help build her up even just a little at a time. If possible, I want to watch over her just a little longer. Because Tsumiki-senpai is my precious friend. One day she'll see just how great she is. Still, I wonder how this all started. Who would tear someone down to this point? Tsumiki-senpai may not be ready to tell me just yet, but I'll be there when she's ready.
Hope's Peak Academy-Main Hall
Thirteenth Week of Classes-Saturday
Naegi was exhausted. He had been doing damage control all day. Owada and Kuzuryuu had been taking out their foul mood on random people; Souda was depressed; Asahina was defending the greatness of donuts to any who would listen; Owari had almost eaten poison ivy; and someone had put tacks in Maizono's shoes. The one thing all these had in common was one name: Saionji. Naegi figured he should have known that she would have started acting up when Koizumi went to visit her parents.
Naegi didn't expect everyone to get along 100% of the time, normal people couldn't and Ultimates, given their unique personalities, couldn't. He also didn't mind little pranks between friends. Saionji, however, never knew when to quit. Worse still, she always went out of her way to be hurtful. Naegi thought that he should talk to her the next time he saw her. She had been opening up to him lately and he was hoping that would mean that she would listen. He didn't like his chances since Koizumi couldn't control Saionji, though that might have been for lack of trying.
I'll worry about that later. Maizono-san's feet are bleeding because of those tacks and though I doubt Maizono-san would get tetanus from them, I'd feel better knowing that Tsumiki had that possibility covered. She should probably look at Maizono-san's puncture wounds anyway, Naegi thought as he made his way to the infirmary.
As he entered, he saw both Tsumiki and Saionji. Tsumiki was on a stool, looking for something in a cabinet. From Naegi's perspective, it looked like Saionji was there to help. Though, that was odd, given that Tsumiki was Saionji's favorite target. Figuring that he wouldn't get a better chance today than now, Naegi decided that he needed to discuss Saionji's behavior with her. Before Naegi could call Saionji out for her behavior though, Saionji decided to kick the stool Tsumiki was standing on.
Tsumiki lost her balance and fell but luckily, Naegi caught her. When he and Tsumiki had gotten back to their feet, Saionji said, "Nice catch, Servant."
"Is that all you have to say? Tsumiki-senpai could have really gotten hurt," Naegi scolded.
"She could have, but didn't," Saionji said dismissively.
"That doesn't make it okay, what would have happened if I hadn't been here?" Naegi asked.
"We're in the infirmary, if someone is going to get hurt, this is the best place to do it," Saionji said.
"What kind of attitude is that? Saionji-senpai, you've been acting without any regard for anyone else's wellbeing today. Owari-senpai almost ate poison ivy and Maizono-san's feet are bleeding because of you. And then-," Naegi began.
"Whatever," Saionji said as she left the room.
"Yukizome-sensei and Koizumi-senpai are going to hear about this," Naegi called after her. He sighed, she wasn't listening, and it probably wouldn't make much of a difference. Turning to Tsumiki, he asked, "Are you okay Senpai?"
"Y-yes, thank you," Tsumiki said. Thinking about how close she and Naegi had been when he caught her caused her to blush.
"Saionji-senpai is getting out of hand. I can't do anything about the pranks and-," Naegi stopped as he saw something on the infirmary counter.
"Naegi-kun? What's wrong?" Tsumiki asked.
"I think I have an idea about what to do about Saionji-senpai's dirty mouth. Senpai would you know if…"
Hope's Peak Academy-Girls' Dorm
Fourteenth Week of Classes-Friday
Tsumiki hadn't been able to find out what Naegi planned to do with the information she gave him. She couldn't understand how what she had told him would teach Saionji anything. She figured it was best to put it out of her mind. Plus, she had something to look forward to this evening.
As he and the girls became better friends, Naegi had taken it upon himself to prepare their favorite foods for dinner. Tonight, Tsumiki's favorites were on the menu and Tsumiki couldn't wait. She never doubted that Naegi was her friend, but she was always afraid that he would get tired of her. Things like this convinced her that such a thing would never happen.
Recently, she had found herself thinking of ways to keep Naegi sick or injured, but more importantly, totally dependent on her. Days like this made her think that going that far was unnecessary. Still, sometimes she would daydream of a patient with messy brown hair and an ahoge, falling in love with her as she took care of him. Her fantasy was interrupted as someone jabbed her with a fork. It was Saionji.
"Pig barf, could you not drool? It's disgusting," Saionji said.
Tsumiki checked. She had indeed been drooling. She guessed she had been enjoying her fantasy a little too much. "Sorry," Tsumiki said, embarrassed.
"Huh? What's with that half-assed apology? Apologize like you mean it," Saionji ordered.
"I-I'm sorry," Tsumiki said, louder than before.
"I don't believe you. I'm sure not going to forgive you for being a gross pig," Saionji said snidely.
"I'M SORRY!" Tsumiki screamed. She had been feeling so great and been looking forward to this so much. She didn't want Saionji to be difficult tonight. Naegi had put in extra work on dinner for her, she hoped Saionji would let her have this.
"Pig barf, why don't you get out of here before you ruin everyone's appetite?" Saionji phrased that as a question, but anyone who knew her knew it was a demand.
"B-but w-when c-can I-I…?" Tsumiki began through tears. This dinner, with all of her favorite foods, all of the effort Naegi made, there was no way Saionji didn't know this. Naegi had explained it once before. He had even made Saionji's favorites on more than one occasion and Saionji didn't want Tsumiki to have the same. It was too much. The nurse was about to stand up and run out of the dining room in tears, but a voice stopped her.
"Tsumiki-san stay where you are. Saionji-san, Tsumiki-san couldn't possibly ruin anyone's appetite," Yukizome said more forcefully than she normally would. Naegi had made good on his promise to Saionji, Yukizome had heard about her behavior and was having none of it.
"Saionji-senpai, I think you should apologize to Tsumiki-senpai," Naegi said.
"That's nice, but I don't listen to servants. Do something useful and get me a drink," Saionji ordered.
"Okay," Naegi said without a fuss.
He came back shortly and gave Saionji a glass full of what appeared to be fruit juice. Saionji took one sip and spat it back out. "BLAH! WHAT DID YOU JUST GIVE ME?!" she demanded to know.
Present Day
Naegi-kun did that for me. He stood up for me. My Naegi-kun, Tsumiki thought as she remembered what happened next.
"Naegi-onii!" Saionji called, bringing Tsumiki back to reality. "Naegi-onii, you'll watch me dance later right?" Saionji asked as she pulled on Naegi's arm to get his attention.
"I have to meet the Headmaster, but I'll try to make time to watch. I promise Senpai," Naegi said.
Saionji didn't notice the look in Tsumiki's eyes as Naegi made that promise. The look Tsumiki was giving promised the worst kind of suffering.
"You two sure got close, I was a little worried about that after what happened that one evening," Koizumi said. She too was slightly irritated by Saionji's closeness with Naegi.
"To be honest I was too," Naegi admitted. I was half convinced that I would still have detention for that. It's not like I can't understand why Saionji-senpai was the way she was, but I certainly couldn't approve of it, he thought, remembering his time as Saionji's "servant."
Saionji started pouting, "I wish everyone would forget that," Although, she thought, I guess it was bound to happen one day. Saionji couldn't help but remember her time with Naegi before that fateful dinner.
Okay, part 2 is finished. I know not much happened, but I want to save a lot for the Mikan-centric chapter I have planned for their summer break. I hope you'll all stick around for that.
This chapter was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. It's weird, I like Mikan, but the ideas wouldn't come to me as easily as the other girls. Although, part four is about Mahiru, Hiyoko, and Mikan so I plan to do something good with that.
Oh man, does Mikan need to hear what Makoto said to her or what? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how it seemed to me after her free time events, like she thought she had to apologize for being alive. That's messed up, to put it nicely.
Hiyoko is up next, so I hope you'll join me for part three of this little mini arc.
For those of you who are interested, my crossover omake is under this author's note. Fair warning, it is a lore dump. There was a lot of Destiny lore that I thought was relevant to this.
For those not interested, leave a review to let me know how I'm doing. As always, thanks for reading, I appreciate it more than you know.
The Whisper of The Worms
VIII: Leviathan
Verse 1:8 — Leviathan
The Leviathan's Warning
++We live on the edge of a war—
—a war between Formless and Form++
++between the Deep and the Sky—
++MY EYES ARE WIDE, MY GAZE IS LONG++
—Across the universe, as far as I see++
++the Sky works to charge its fires—
—and the Deep drowns the ash++
—Sky builds gentle places, safe for life++
++Beloved Fundament, refuge of trillions—
—The Sky treasures this rich place++
—BUT THE DEEP IS HERE WITH US—
++Cold logic tests our walls—
—The Deep claims its dominion++
++A ruthless, final age —
Aurash's Protest
Old Leviathan, creature of myth, this world is no refuge. We live short, hard lives. We die in the dark. The storm above us will never end. And soon the God-Wave will take us all. Above us there are only stormjoys, monsters, and moons of apocalypse. Let us go down, down, where we may discover truth, some power to avenge ourselves upon our betrayers, some hope of survival.
The Leviathan's Hope
—What power calls you++
++Down to the deep?—
++What instinct draws you—
—Away from high hope?++
—Quick-breeding krill people, I tell you++
++For eons I have watched your struggle—
—Clinging to the sharp edge of survival++
++Balanced between the Deep and the Sky.—
++You were my treasure—
—My proof against despair++
—FOR THIS IS THE DEEP CLAIM—
++Existence is the struggle to exist—
—When the struggle seems lost++
++when the safe place crumbles—
—everything turns to the Deep to survive++
++I REJECT THE DEEP CLAIM++
—You will turn back, sweet krill of hope.±±
++You will choose the Sky instead.—
Xi Ro's Protest
You are huge and old! Our lives are short and desperate. If that's the way the world's supposed to be, I won't have it! If people like Taox are supposed to win, I won't let them! I'll beat the world until it changes! I'll kill anything in the way!
The Leviathan's Dirge
++This fatal logic++
—Hear my monopole scream!—
++It will consume you++
—Before you lies—
++The worship of death++
—The ruinous path—
++The Sky builds new life++
—Against the onset of ruin—
++Towards a gentle world++
—The Deep embraces death—
++Saying: this is inevitable and right++
—I exist as hungry ruin—
++TURN BACK FROM THE WORLD-KILLING WAY++
++OR YOU WILL LIVE AS DEATH AND DEVASTATION++
—The Sky is the harder way. But it is kinder.—
—My charge is balanced: my voice exhausted.—
Sathona's Protest
Sisters, I have my father's familiar. Look! It answers me in plain words. It helped me find this ship. It gives me strength when hope is lost.
Who will you trust? The voice that wants us to live and suffer, as we have lived and suffered? The Leviathan that offers no hope against Taox or the world-wave?
Or the plain, honest worm?
Let us see where its whisper leads us, Aurash. Let us go deeper, Xi Ro!
Let us dive, oh sisters mine.
XXVIII: King of Shape
Verse 3:8 — King of Shapes
This is the Coronation of Oryx, the Taken King. It happened thus.
In the cold abyss of the sword world, King Aurash walked under a cloak of green fire. He walked through the sky and the sky shuddered and froze beneath his feet. He walked until he found Akka, the Worm of Secrets, who was denying a truth until it became a lie.
"Akka my God, Worm of Secrets. I am Auryx, sole king of the Hive. I have come to receive a secret. I want the secret power of the Deep, which you hold."
"I give no secrets," said Akka, whose voice was code.
"No," said Auryx, "you give nothing. Giving is for the Sky. You worship the Deep, which asks that we take what we need."
Akka said nothing, because if it denied this truth, the truth might become false.
"But you gave us your larvae, the worm," said Auryx, "and that is why the worm devours us now: because it was given, not taken. So, I must take what I need from you, although you are my god."
Said Akka, "You have not the strength."
But this was a lie. Auryx had killed Savathûn his sibling and Xivu Arath his sibling, and he had the sword logic of killing them.
Auryx the First Navigator set upon his god with his sword and his words, and cut Akka to pieces, and took from those pieces the secret of calling upon the Deep. He wrote this secret on a set of tablets, which he called the Tablets of Ruin. And he wore them about his waist.
Then Auryx said, "Now I may speak to the Deep, the beautiful final shape. I will be King of Shapes. I will learn all the secrets of our destiny."
His speech to the Deep is not recorded here. But it is known that he returned, and he said, now I am Oryx, the Taken King. And I have the power to take life and make it my own.
Then he went out into the universe and fought the Ecumene with his Tablets. And the Worm his God was pleased.
Apocrypha
In the beginning, there were five.
Yul, the Honest Worm. Akka, the Worm of Secrets. Eir, the Keeper of Order. Ur, the Ever-Hunger. Xol, Will of the Thousands. And they were Virtuous.
In time, Yul spoke truth and bargained well. Its children escaped the Fundament and spread throughout the worlds. They followed the words of the Deep and brought low many agents of the Sky. They took, and a portion of all they took was returned to the Virtuous.
They grew strong.
In time, Auryx learned Akka's secret. That he was stronger than the gods. That they had given their power, and in giving, it was diminished. Auryx rose up and slew Akka. He took, and he grew strong with Akka's power.
After the five became four, Yul spoke.
Behold my majesty. Behold my crushing might, my staggering size, my scales that shine with an oppressive gleam.
Behold my wings, which create winds that sweep through the stars.
Together, we have called life to Fundament, and made that life thrive. Protected it from extinction. They are our hosts, and we are their strength.
But we do not give. We take. For this is the struggle to exist. We are not immune. The weakest of us must give way to the stronger.
And Xol felt [fear|cunning], for it knew that Yul would in time turn its teeth to Xol.
But Akka was not the only one with a secret. Xol had a pact with a forgotten child, abandoned by its father.
The cursed one took a fraction of Xol's power, and in return, Xol took the heart from the child, whose name had been struck from the World's Grave. The orphan called life out of death and fed that power to Xol.
Together, they would find a new world to rule.
And the five became three.
I, the child become [herald|death], record these words. They are not of the Sorrow. They are mine.
-Nokris, Herald of Xol
Wormgod Caress - II: COMMUNION
He stood before his gods, humbled.
An audacious gesture, to seek the deepest knowledge. To know the unknowable, the origin of all things.
The worms turned, rejecting the disowned son. All but one.
"In you, I see myself."
Xol, the Will of the Thousands. Lesser than his kin, but full of dark wisdom.
"You seek power? I will give you power beyond measure. The power of life renewed."
The glow of soulfire in his eyes, Nokris bowed before the worm. In his fire, he felt embrace. He felt home.
"Do you pledge yourself to me? Will you accept my unholy power?"
Nokris nodded and smiled
He replied, "Yes, my lord. And together, we will take the stars."
Xol was pleased.
Whisper of the Worm
A Guardian's power makes a rich feeding ground. Do not be revolted. There are parasites that may benefit the host… teeth sharper than your own.
Xol, the Will of Thousands, perished but was not destroyed. Death is a road, death is metamorphosis, the unsacred union between destroyer and destroyed. The might which defeats a god is also the ambrosia that god craves, the meat-sweet logic of Existence-Asserted-By-Violence, the binomial decision between two ways of being which deny each other. In dying, Xol fed richly.
Now came Xol unto the Taken upon Io, who fed Xol with plunder and tried to make of it an idol and a commanding will. Yet Xol was bound joyously to the very logic that sustained it in its death. It wanted the sword proof, the single proof. It wanted to become a rule which divided the mighty living from the mighty dead. So, it whispered the Anthem Anatheme, the temptation to dominate the objective universe with the subjective will. It said, I shall be an engine to make your desire hegemon over your conditions. It said, WIELD ME, AND USE ME TO TEST YOUR FOE. This was its worship. Aiat.
Deep in uncharted space, deep within a pocket of the Ascendant Realm, a consciousness of unknowable age was watching and waiting. Waiting for what, it did not know. Perhaps it desired revenge upon the one who slayed it long ago. The Sword Logic dictated that an existence that cannot protect itself from defeat has no right to continue to exist. In that, lay the problem.
Akka, the Worm of Secrets was dead, but he was not gone. Auryx, King of the Hive, no, now Oryx, the Taken King slew Akka to commune with the Deep directly. Akka had been able to battle Oryx even in death, but the Taken King had survived. Oryx had even used a piece of Akka's corpse to construct his Dreadnaught.
Akka knew that he and the other Worm Gods were not immune to the Sword Logic. To utterly annihilate one's enemies and take their power for oneself was the only way to reach the perfect, final shape. But the mere fact that he still existed, that Oryx had been unable to annihilate him completely, perhaps he could return and retake his power. The question was how to do it. As if the universe were providing an answer, a familiar voice was heard.
"Akka, my brother."
"Xol! Coward! Have you come to mock me!" Akka responded in a rage.
"I have merely come to talk," Xol replied calmly.
"What value could speaking with you have to me?" Akka asked.
"I have knowledge you may find useful, oh brother, mine," Xol responded.
"So, you do mock me! We do not give. The Sky gives. The Deep takes. You know this!" Akka replied, angered once more.
"I know it well, there are none who know it better than I as I am now," Xol said calmly.
"And what does that mean?" Akka asked, quickly losing patience.
"I am different from the Xol you know," Xol said simply.
"I give you a chance to explain yourself and you speak in riddles," Akka said, ready to end the conversation.
"Look for me," Xol said.
Against his better judgment, Akka did as Xol requested. Upon sensing Xol in two different star systems, Akka said, "This is impossible."
"Much happened after we five became four, Savathûn's cunning was greater than we could have ever predicted," Xol began before telling Akka of the Vex, of the Traveler's presence in Sol, and of Xol's defeat on Mars and arrival on Io.
"If you speak truth, then for what reason do you come to me? I cannot undo what you have done to yourself," Akka said.
"Earth has the makings of a rich feeding ground, and are you not hungry? I require tribute, as do you. We shall do as the three siblings have done and make war on each other and gain power. I will remain as I am and be part of the Sword Logic, but you, perhaps, may yet return to what you once were," Xol explained.
"I must find a champion first," Akka said.
"There are many who could fill that role," Xol replied.
Akka was pleased.
Many months later
In an upscale penthouse, in an upscale district in one of Japan's many metropolitan areas, a teenage girl slept. She was blessed with extraordinary talent, but that talent brought her nothing but boredom. There was one thing that eased her boredom, not that anyone understood. She preferred it that way. Long ago she had lost the ability to distinguish between the emotion she craved and joy. Perhaps, like the Hive, the emotions of love and hate gradually became indistinguishable as well. Perhaps she had never cared to make such distinctions. A fitting agent of the Deep, a fitting disciple of the Sword Logic.
"There is no Light in you."
The girl opened her eyes and found herself standing before Akka, Worm of Secrets. The Worm God appeared in its full, dark magnificence. A being of inconceivable size and power. Akka's body may have been left to rot, but the Deep allowed him to send visions to his new champion.
Akka spoke, "I am Akka, Worm of Secrets. You wish to paint the world with Despair? Why stop at one world? With me you could paint entire galaxies in Despair."
The girl liked what she heard. She had resigned herself to a future of boredom after painting the world in Despair. If this was indeed not a dream, it would mean she would find entertainment beyond the blue planet she called home. She would have replied, but she was preoccupied attempting to analyze the being that had appeared to her. The fact that she couldn't intrigued her.
Akka continued, "But you require power. I can give you that. The power to make the truth become lies. The power to bend reality to your will."
That would ordinarily have been a deal breaker for the girl, but if beings like this existed, there may be others. Others she could not analyze. Ones that could stand in her way. Had she been capable of hope, it would have swelled in her chest.
Akka finished, "We shall meet in the future. Listen for my voice, oh champion, mine."
It had been some time, and Enoshima Junko continued to hear the voice of Akka when she slept. While she had not yet been able to analyze the being that would appear to her, she had begun to learn from it.
Today, though, she would have to devote some time to something other than her new "friend." At the airport, she waited for her twin sister to return from the Middle East.
"Junko-chan!" Ikusaba Mukuro called. She rushed to her sister but stopped suddenly. She may have just imagined it, but she would swear that she saw the sclera in both of Enoshima's change from white to black for an instant.
Enoshima's smile was all teeth as she said, "It's good to see you Muku-nee. We have much to discuss, oh sister, mine."
Don't worry, there won't be any Enoshima, the Taken Queen, but I am considering sending a primeval for Makoto to fight.
For those that don't know, the Anthem Anatheme is a metaphysical principle described in several pieces of lore within the Destiny universe. It is defined as the desire to change one's reality to suit one's purposes, or "to dominate the objective universe with the subjective will".
Several paracausal beings utilize, invoke or draw power from the Anthem Anatheme in some way; the most notable examples are the Ahamkara and the Worm Gods, which are theorized by Medusa to have evolved separately in competition for the same ecological niche. Ahamkara feed off of the wishes (which are manifestations of the Anthem Anatheme) of other beings to grow in size, whereas the Worm God Xol transformed himself into a weapon after his physical death in order to fulfill the Anthem Anatheme for the wielder.
Beings who draw power from the Anthem Anatheme are known to use a specific phrase, "O/Oh (subject) mine," when addressing other beings. This is theorized by Medusa, a Craftmind, an exceptionally complex AI, or so it claims to be, to invoke an ontomorphic effect, placing the target in a cage of "o" (activational, specific, appealing, and naming) and "mine" (defining ownership and subordination).
On a different note, Season of the Drifter has been great so far. Getting Thorn back was awesome. Between that and Byf's video on the story of Thorn and The Last Word, I think I might be a little obsessed with Dredgen Yor and the Weapons of Sorrow. And that Thorn lore tab:
"To rend one's enemies is to see them not as equals, but objects—hollow of spirit and meaning." —13th Understanding, 7th Book of Sorrow
"The Weapons of Sorrow are not the endgame, but a road map. Each evolution, every advance in the delivery of pain and the mastery of destruction feeds the Hive's hateful weapons research. They will map every scream, harness every aggression, until they understand every method by which to ravage the hearts, minds, and flesh of man. And in doing so, they will turn us against ourselves—feeding our lust, our greed, our fear, until we become a threat unto ourselves like none we could imagine. So, wield these, angry reaper. Strive to know the darkness in your own heart. Walk in the shadows of fallen heroes. And know that you are an enemy of hope."
—a warning
I wonder if I should include that as a note. Can you imagine Nagito trying to steal Thorn to destroy it or Junko trying to steal Thorn? Dredgen Despair. I should work on that because it seems rather uninspired.
Anyway, see you starside guardians. Feel free to leave a review before you go.
