Marauder's Prankbook

Disclaimer: The characters all belong to JK Rowling. As much as I have wished, I'm am not JK Rowling. So they're not mine. Although I definitely would like to own Remus and Sirius. ;

A/N: So I came up with this brilliant idea and I just had to write it out. And I did once. This is a rewrite. I actually didn't change that much. Please review and tell me what you think!

Chapter One, The Ten Commandments

"James, Peter, Remus, brilliant idea!" Sirius Black yelled as he skidded into the common room on one rainy day in January. The other Gryffindors gave him an odd look, but were for the most part used to his nonsensical outbursts. They continued on with what they were doing.

The three sixteen year olds looked up from what they were doing. James and Remus had been playing chess (Remus was kicking his ass) and Peter had been watching. Sirius plopped down on the couch next to Peter.

"You, an idea? That'll be the day," Remus scoffed. He himself wasn't entirely sure if he was kidding or not.

"Yeah, who'd you steal it off of?" James wanted to know.

Sirius gave them an affronted look, then said, "No one! It's my own and it's good."

"Well I'm having no part of it." James said with a note of finality. "I like who I am, I'm not growing another limb like last time!"

Sirius chuckled, remembering the incident well. "That was Wormtail's fault. Besides, your head's too big anyway. It really didn't grow that much." Peter blushed and muttered an apology, while James shook his head in disbelief. "Anyway, this is nothing like that," Sirius continued.

"Do I even want to know?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Definitely not." The other three answered simultaneously. Remus had been in the hospital wing following a full moon and so had no idea the extent of the damage done to James's limbs and head. Although, he considered, he didn't remember seeing James in the hospital wing. They had either gotten a seventh year who was studying healing magic to help them, or the damage had gone away on its own.

Sirius tapped his foot on the ground impatiently and said, "Ok, do you want to hear my idea or not?" Remus looked up from his pondering. Peter moved his glace from the floor to his usual adoration at Sirius and James leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, what is it?" James asked after a moment. His voice took the tone of asking to be polite, but not really wanting to know.

"Okay, here it is…" Sirius paused for effect, then said, "We should do a Prank book."

The three had gone very quiet. Finally James asked, "What the hell is that?"

Sirius sighed in exasperation, but explained. "It's a book. With pranks and rules and stuff for the next generation of marauders. You know, so our ways don't get lost when the inevitable happens and we grow up."

There was more silence.

"Okay, what's the problem now?" Sirius asked irritably. He had finally had a good idea and no one could appreciate it.

James were staring at Sirius like he'd grown another head. Remus' mouth had fallen open in shock. Peter looked the way he always did – pure adoration.

"Well, for one thing, you, Padfoot, will never grow up," James said. He dodged the pillow Sirius tossed at his head.

"Okay, besides my imminent life of immaturity," Sirius asked. He looked at Remus.

"That's a good idea!" He managed to choke out. He shuddered. "Scary. Never thought I'd say that!"

"So we're going to do it?" Sirius looked at the three of them hopefully, his brown eyes lighting up.

"Of course!"

"I'm in!"

"Me too!"

His mouth widening into a broad grin, Sirius summoned a pad of parchment, a quill and some ink. After much debate, pillow throwing and eye rolling, chapter one was entitled, "The ten commandments of pranking" After further eye rolling and argument…Er, that is, debate… After further debate they came up with commandment number one: "Thou shall not get caught."

"Number one rule." James said, looking at the page as if he were surveying a favorite nephew. Regardless of the fact he was an only child and didn't have any nephews.

Remus took the notebook from James and wrote:

"2. Thou shall not hurt intentionally, bar all Slytherins and their descendants.

3. Thou shall not prank fellow Marauders, with the exception of revenge purposes.

4. Thou shall not pull the same prank twice.

5. Thou shall not become incessantly obsessed with pranking."

He threw it back to James, proclaiming, "Okay, I'm out."

"What are you doing?" asked a stern female voice. James looked up to see Lily Evans glaring at them, a hand on her hip.

He ruffled his hair and grinned. "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Lily's glare hardened. "Do you want detention? I'm a prefect, I can give it."

"On what grounds?"

"Threats, Insubordination."

James chucked. "Look at that, little Miss Lily is using such big words!" he flicked an imaginary tear from under his eye. "Oh they grow up so fast!"

"Just tell me what you're up to so I can give you detention and go to bed."

James flashed her a sugar coated grin. "Oh, I can assure you, what we're doing in perfectly legal. You on the other hand? Using your power to harass us innocents? Now that's a different story."

Lily snorted. "James Potter, you have never been innocent. You will never be innocent. So just tell me what you're doing!"

It was now nearing ten and most of the Gryffindors were headed to bed. James glanced briefly at the disappearing crowd then flashed Lily a grin. "Go out with me."

"WHAT?" squawked Lily.

"You heard me." James replied. "Go out with me for a week and I'll tell you what we're doing."

"Not on your life. Furthermore, I will never go out with you. Accept it!" She paused. "And I probably don't want to know anyway."

Remus was reading over Sirius' shoulder. He muttered, "Smart girl," and didn't even look up.

"Curfew is in ten minuets." she said calmly, deciding that losing her temper was not the best way to deal with James. "If I find you've past it, you will be in detention for a month."

"You look cute when you're flustered." James commented plainly, although he was talking about the weather.

"Humph!" Lily stomped up the staircase to the girl's dorm. She paused at the top and turned to look back at James. "I've got my eye on you, Potter," she threatened.

"Can't bare to look away, huh?" he flexed his muscles and grinned.

Lily let out a muffled scream and slammed her door behind her.

"Sirius, you dolt!" Remus said quite suddenly, pointing to something on the page of the book.

James looked over and read what was there. "Sirius you dolt!"

"What?" Sirius cried, looking rather miffed. He looked to where Remus was pointing. "Whoops."

Sirius had managed to add five more rules, so the entire list read:

"1. Thou shall not get caught.

2. Thou shall not hurt intentionally, bar all Slytherins and their descendants.

3. Thou shall not prank fellow Marauders, with the exception of revenge purposes.

4. Thou shall not pull the same prank twice."

5. Thou shall not become incessantly obsessed with pranking.

6. Thou shall not share pranks with nonmarauders.

7. Thou shall not let this book fall into the wrong hands, namely Slytherins, any and all teachers...etc.

8. Thou shall not snitch.

9. Thou shall not get caught.

10. Thou shall be up to not good."

"Great, now we still need another rule!" James rolled his eyes.

"Er, actually, we could leave it." Peter spoke up timidly. Everyone turned to look at him, as this was the first thing he'd said in an hour.

"Yeah, maybe it could stay. It is a prank book, maybe we could leave it as a joke of sorts," he explained.

"Huh," James said. "Sounds good. This is a good day for the slower of the group."

Sirius reclaimed the pillow he'd thrown earlier and smacked James over the head with it. He glared, but the effect of both was ruined when he grinned.

Remus noticed Peter yawning and said, "Maybe we should leave chapter two until tomorrow." He gestured to Peter, who was almost nodding off.

"Okay," James agreed. "But first- I hereby christen this book, "The Marauder's Prank book.""

He was half way up the stairs before Sirius realized and yelled, "Hey, how come you get to name the book? It was my idea! I should get to name it!"

"I'm the leader," said James as though that should explain everything.

"I wanna be the leader!"

James rolled his eyes. "Goodnight." The rest of the group followed, each saying to another, "Night."

A/N: Hugs and cookies if you review! Also, brownies to those who would like to beta or would like to help with ideas for the book they're writing. After the Ten Commandments, I'm kind of stuck.