Chapter 11: Small Bump

Because of being born premature – and because of having chronic pain - I myself probably couldn't handle pregnancy or bearing children.

Rated M for safety and description.

Please do not read if you are sensitive to the topic of blood or miscarriages or both. If you have suffered a miscarriage, I am so sorry for your loss. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

(Eret's POV)

It started with cramping, about three months in. She said they felt like period cramps, but ten times worse.

That's when we knew.

We immediately go to Gothi, who ushered us in on that late Thor's Day night in September. I carried her up there, sent Skullcrusher to get our families and Fishlegs for the translating.

It's an agonizing wait as my wife squeezes my hand as the pain doesn't get better, but, thankfully, doesn't get worse.

Our families come into the hut, Gothi tells them only a few can stay besides Fishlegs.

I turn to my wife in question. She points, in too much pain to speak.

Her mother. Her sister. My sister.

The rest are to wait outside.

Some herbs are given for the pain as we group around our Becky.

The bleeding starts, painlessly.

Gothi spots our tiny baby in the thick blood. None of us can bear to look.

My wife turns to face away from me, ashamed of what has just occurred, as if it's her fault.

Which it isn't.

The group offers their condolences, her mother offering to stay until Becky's strong enough to go home the next day, having known what she's going through. What we're going through.

A wordless nod from Becky, and Lily Thorston sits next to her adoptive daughter on the bed after Ruffnut and Amalie leave, me sitting on the other side of my wife, not knowing what to say or do.

Becky asks me to write everything down to remember the signs. To remember our baby.

Gothi provides me with parchment and I hastily write it all down, up until Lily sitting down next to her.

I excuse myself, getting wordless nods from both my mother-in-law and Gothi.

I know I should be there to comfort my wife. She's done nothing wrong, and here I am leaving her!

I turn back to head back inside before an agonizing wail has stopped me in my tracks.

I close my eyes, tears falling down my cheeks.

A hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes, turning to see my brother-in-law, equally tearful.

We exchange words without speaking. I head back inside the hut and sit next to my wife and begin to rub her back.

She's sobbing, but she's trying to say something, but we can only make out snippets of words.

"s…y…ault...ll…y…ault…"

We know what she's saying, and she couldn't be more wrong.

"My love…this…this isn't your fault. You've done nothing wrong. But I do know one thing: my Mum is watching our little baby as we speak."

Another wail.

I've said the wrong thing.

I look at my mother-in-law. She shakes her head.

What she means, to this day, I still don't know, but I'm too afraid to ask.

Becky cries herself to sleep, from the pain or from sorrow, I don't know.

I ask Gothi when we can try again. She says Becky will be ready in two cycles.

Two months.

But she also says it may be a while until Becky is emotionally ready to try again.

I fall asleep next to my wife, cradling her in my arms, her mother sitting nearby, both of us wishing to turn back the clock.

To prevent this from occurring.

To make our baby alive.

We wake to see our chief and Valka have both dropped by.

Heard it from the twins on their way home the night before.

"What can we do?" He asks.

"I don't know, Chief. I honestly don't know. Actually…would you mind keeping this quiet for a while? We'd like some privacy when we get home."

"Of course. If there's anything else we can do, let us know."

They leave, letting us be.

You were just a small bump unborn, for three months then torn from life…