CHAPTER TWENTY
(chapter title – Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again)

The next day threatened rain, so Mark and Sara went to the graveyard early afternoon. They made a quick stop at Angel, Mimi and Collins' graves to say a quick 'hello' and moved onto Roger's grave. Sara chewed her lower lip as she drew her sweater closer to her. She had forgotten her jacket and was freezing her ass off.

Mark talked to Roger for a bit while Sara looked around at the other tombstones. She kept an eye on Mark as she walked through the graveyard.

"Sweetie! Come here and say 'hi' to Dad!" Mark called after her. Sara nodded and made her way back over where Mark was standing.

Mark smiled, pulled out his camera and filmed Sara speaking to Roger.

"Um, hi Dad." Sara began, ignoring the soft whirring of the camera. "What's up? Not much with me. Jennifer, Carolyn, Kristen and Tiffany are returning from spring break tomorrow and we're gonna go see a movie." Sara shook her head.

"You're doing great, honey." Mark quietly praised Sara. She drew in a deep breath and continued on.

"You have no idea how much I'm gonna miss you – as are all of us – Jeffery, Daddy, Aunt Maureen, Aunt Maureen, Scott and all of my friends. Jennifer, Tiffany, Carolyn and Kristen were bummed that they couldn't make the funeral, but they said that they're holding our family in their thoughts and prayers." Sara blinked the tears out of her eyes and remembered the piece of paper she had in her pocket.

"I wrote a song for you – I know you won't be able to hear or see it, but I just wanted to let you know its here." Sara placed the piece of folded paper onto the grave just as thunder rumbled in the distance.

"It's gonna rain pretty soon, so Daddy and I gotta go. I love you and miss you so much. Say 'hi' to Aunt Angel, Uncle Collins and Mom for us." Sara looked at the tombstone one more time before taking Mark's hand and ran to the car just as the sky opened up and rain started to fall.

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By the time they reached the house, it was pouring outside. Mark and Sara got under the large green umbrella and entered the house, putting the umbrella in the umbrella stand by the door.

"Hey sweetie, what do you want for supper?" Mark asked Sara.

"I really don't care." Sara answered in a monotone voice.

"Okay – I'll call out for a pizza." Mark told her, heading to the kitchen and dialing the number for their favorite pizza place – Manchino's. While Mark called the pizza place, Sara headed up to her room and closed the door. She instantly went to where her guitar was, got it out along with her composition notebook and strummed a few chords before coming up with the song she loved the most from the musical, Phantom of the Opera.

"You were once
my one companion . . .
you were all
that mattered . . .
You were once
a friend and father -
then my world
was shattered . . .

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
wishing you were
somehow near . . .
Sometimes it seemed
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would
be here . . .

Wishing I could
hear your voice again . . .
knowing that I
never would . . .
Dreaming of you
won't help me to do
all that you dreamed
I could . . .

Passing bells
and sculpted angels,
cold and monumental,
seem, for you,
the wrong companions -
you were warm and gentle . . .

Too many years
fighting back tears . . .
Why can't the past
just die . . .?

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
knowing we must
say goodbye . . .
Try to forgive . . .
teach me to live . . .
give me the strength
to try . . .

No more memories,
no more silent tears . . .
No more gazing across
the wasted years . . .
Help me say
goodbye.
" Sara cried as she sang. She didn't even hear Mark knock on the door, letting her know the pizza would be there soon.

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Fifteen minutes later, Sara and Mark were sitting on the couch, drinking Cokes and watching a home movie. It was of Roger and Mimi the day Mimi gave birth to Sara.

"Mark! Do you mind getting that camera out of my face?" Roger asked, an arm wrapped around Mimi's shoulders.

"I have to, Rog – your future child might watch this one day and laugh at what a monster you are in the morning." Mark teased. Roger gave him the finger just as Mimi let out a pained groan.

"Everything okay, Meems?" Roger asked his wife.

"Contraction." Mimi whimpered. Roger kissed her forehead and helped her down the stairs of the loft, Mark right behind them.

"Mark, put that camera away before I make you eat it." Mimi growled, both hands on her belly.

"Whoa – someone's in a bad mood." Mark muttered.

"You probably don't wanna see any more of this, do you?" Mark asked, taking his and Sara's plates to the kitchen.

"I wanna see a little more, please Daddy." Sara begged. Mark sighed and turned the projector back on.

"This next piece might be a little hard for you to see." Mark told her. Sara nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. Mark put an arm around her shoulders and watched the film reel.

"ROGER! THIS HURTS!" Mimi screamed. She and Roger were in the delivery room, waiting to welcome their little baby into the world.

"You're doing great, babe. Just a little further." Roger soothed, taking Mimi's hand and squeezed it. Mimi sat up and pushed with all her might. Roger dabbed Mimi's forehead with a cool washcloth and sang a little bit of Your Eyes to her.

An hour later, Roger was holding a baby in his arms and crying.

"Hey Rog." Mark greeted his best friend.

"She's gone, Mark. Mimi is fucking gone." Roger sobbed. Mark felt his stomach drop as he sat down in one of the armchairs and put the camera down.

"Can we come in?" Joanne asked. She was carrying a three-year-old Scott, who was sleeping.

"Yeah – come in guys." Roger told the group. Maureen made her way over to Roger and looked at the sleeping baby in his arms.

"Oh my God! Roger – she's beautiful!" Maureen breathed as Collins walked in the room.

"Her name's Sara Elizabeth Davis." Roger told her, handing Sara to Maureen. She wrapped a hand around Maureen's finger as Roger went over to hug Collins.

"She's gone, Thomas. I can't believe it." Roger sobbed.

"I'm so sorry Rog. Is there anything we can do?" Collins inquired. Roger shook his head and continued to cry.

"Stop!" Sara sobbed. Mark looked over at her, got up from the couch and turned off the projector.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked, gathering Sara in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

"I couldn't take it anymore." Sara told him through her sobs. Mark nodded and rubbed her back.

"Shh, it's okay. We don't have to watch it anymore." Mark soothed, kissing Sara's cheek.

"I'm gonna go to bed. Night Daddy. Love you." Sara stood up and kissed Mark's cheek and made her way to her room.

As she changed into her pajamas, she felt tears come to her eyes – she couldn't believe what she had seen in the reel – her mother had died, her Dad was upset and pushed away everyone that tried to help him.

Sara climbed into bed and thought about her family – the living and the non living. She and Jeffery were gonna spend some time together before Sara hung out with Carolyn, Kristen, Jennifer and Tiffany at the mall.

"Night Mom. Night Dad. Night Aunt Angel. Night Uncle Collins. I love you guys and I always will." Sara whispered, closing her eyes and fell asleep, dreaming of her family as she slept.

A/N: don't own the lyrics to Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. belongs to respected owner. 'nuff said.