Chapter 15: Battle Scars
Eret catches Becky cutting herself one night, and decides to do what he can to help her.
It uncovers a troubled past between Becky and one of her adoptive siblings. Takes place after Small Bump.
Rated T for language.
(Eret's POV)
I wake up, hearing sniffling. I look next to me, and see my wife isn't in bed beside me.
I look over the ledge over the dining room that's behind the living room. I see my Becky, dagger in hand.
Cutting herself.
I race down the steps and pause in front of her.
Do I take the dagger from her? Do I grab her by the arms and hold her close to me?
She stares at me. I stare back.
"My love, what are you doing?"
"I just can't take it anymore. I can't take the pain anymore. I can't take the nightmares anymore. I can't take losing children anymore. The first one was bad enough, and the second was as bad and I felt as guilty as I did the first time around. I can't handle losing children anymore. I can't handle being a failure."
After getting some bandages, I kneel in front of Becky, gently taking the dagger from her and putting it aside. I begin to wrap the bandages around her arms.
After I'm done, take her hands in mine as I sit next to her on our couch.
"Baby, you are not a failure. You never have been a failure and you never will be."
"How can you say that? I failed protecting my son and Anthony. I failed holding our child inside of me. I've failed you."
"Just because you've failed at things, that does not make you a failure! Yes, you couldn't save your son or Anthony. Not your fault. Yes, our baby died. Not your fault. You have not failed me. None of which has happened to you has ever been your fault. You've never been a failure. And you never will be."
"Are you sure?"
"As sure as I'll love you till the day I die. My love...let me take you to Gothi so she can take a look at you. So she can help you."
Becky nods and I help her up.
We walk up to Gothi's hut silently after getting Fishlegs for the translation.
"Now, remember, Fishlegs, no one else can know. Not yet. Not until we're both ready."
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. You have my word."
"Thank you."
The three of us get inside the hut and Fishlegs wakes Gothi up, resulting in a bang on the shoulder with her staff.
She takes one look at Becky's battle scars and prepares a salve for the cuts. She notices some old scars under the newer ones. She makes some runes on the floor.
"She's asking you if you've ever cut before."
Becky looks down and nods.
"Why?" I ask.
"I'll tell you later."
"No, I need to know now why you're hurting yourself!"
"I said I'll tell you later, Eret."
"Eret, I wouldn't push it. Before you guys met, in the past, before Hiccup banished her, Ruff and Tuff caught her cutting herself. Ruffnut wanted to know why she was hurting herself and Becky went ballistic, telling her she would tell them with time. But she wouldn't take no for an answer. Ruffnut accidentally hit Becky in the face in her frustration."
"Ruffnut did?"
"Yes. That was the day Becky almost drowned herself. Ruff's regretted hitting her ever since she did it. Ever since we almost lost her."
"I can't believe Ruffnut would resort to hitting…I mean, hitting Tuffnut, I get, since it's just how they are. But hitting Becky?"
"I was just as surprised as you are now when Ruff told us what occurred."
"And Ruffnut hasn't hit her since?"
"Not to my knowledge."
"I need to get to the bottom of this. See Becky gets home safely. And watch her. I need to go have a talk with my sister-in-law."
"Alright, just be careful and don't do anything you'll regret."
"Got it."
I leave Gothi's hut and head down to the twins' home and knock on the door.
Tuffnut answers it.
"Is your sister home?"
"Uh, yeah…hey, Ruff! Eret wants to see you!"
Ruffnut comes to the door and it takes all my strength not to punch her…I wouldn't want to stoop to her level.
Did I really just say that? About my girl's sister?
"So…what's up? Is everything okay?"
"Why? I mean, I understand why, but why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you hit my wife? Your sister?"
"I…who told you?"
"Fishlegs. I pushed Becky and Fishlegs told me not to and I – "
"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. You pushed Becky?" Tuffnut asks.
"Not literally. Anyway, I pushed her because she wasn't telling me why she's been hurting herself."
"Wait, Becky's been hurting herself again?"
"She couldn't take the guilt of losing her children and Anthony and the pain she's suffering and I just…"
"What? You wanted to hurt her yourself? You wanted to stoop to my level to hurt your wife?!"
"No, of course not! You hurt your sister!"
"Oh, this is not about me! And that was before we adopted her! Besides, this is about Becky hurting herself because of all the shit Drago put her through!"
It's then my sister-in-law breaks down, going to her knees.
"Whoa! Sis, you okay?" Tuffnut asks, following his twin to the ground. I kneel in front of them.
"She suffered so much…and then she has a miscarriage. When will her suffering end?! I just…I hate that she's going through so much negative stuff…and I can't do anything to help her."
"But you can do something, Ruff. You can be there for her. You can hold her when she needs you to. You can both do that for her when I can't or when she needs you guys and not me."
"When doesn't she need you? You guys are practically attached at the hip."
"Well, my father wants to take me out for a fishing trip again next week. You could be there for her then."
"Wait, you're leaving her, so you can go fishing with your father? When your wife needs you most? You both just lost a baby!"
"I know. But I need some time away from her, so I can grieve on my own and in my own way. If I'm with Becky, my needs are in the back of my mind and I only focus on her and her needs."
"That's…you make a good point."
"Have you…have you apologized to her for hitting her all those years ago?"
"No. I need to, though. Is she okay to talk now?"
"I'm not sure. You could come with me and find out. She's probably home by now."
"Okay."
Ruffnut and Tuffnut follow me home, where Becky and Fishlegs are sitting on our sofa, waiting for me to come home.
"Hey, honey."
"Hey."
"You up to having a couple of visitors?"
"I guess."
Ruffnut kneels in front of her sister.
"Becky, I am so so sorry for punching you in the face."
"Ruffnut…I forgave you for that a long time ago…besides, Dr…you-know-who put me through worse, and you know that."
"That still doesn't make it okay."
"I know it doesn't. I forgive you, Ruffnut."
"Thank you. How are you?"
"I'm not in any physical pain right now…but I feel guilty. I feel like I did something wrong to make my baby die."
"Becky, you did absolutely nothing wrong."
"Ruffnut's right. Our baby is not dead because of you. We're sometimes powerless to stop these kinds of things from occurring, but it has never been and will never be your fault that our baby died. Please stop cutting. Baby, you're scaring me. You're terrifying me. And I hate that."
Becky gasps at my words, tears forming in her eyes. I kneel in front of her next to my sister-in-law.
"Eret…I never wanted to scare you…I'm just so afraid of this occurring again."
"I know you are. You wanna know something? I'm scared, too. I'm scared of losing another child, but I'm also terrified of losing you. My world would end if I lost you."
"And my world would end if I lost you, Eret."
"Alright. Let's make a pact, right here, right now. You won't cut anymore, and I'll be there for you and listen to you if and when you want to talk about anything. We all will. Deal?"
"Deal."
"That's my girl."
