Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble.

Rating: T (Mawkish)

Note: I like the idea of the swordsman experiencing something normal. We've been hyping about his monstrous strength and abnormality too much.

Summary: Tell the cook to stop whining.


Points of No Return

5: Noise Barrage


He has a headache.

Not that he would admit it. He was, after all, not one to complain about any physical pain.

But damn, he is human. He does succumb to one every now and then.

And it put him in a rather 'sensitive' mood as Usopp phrased.

That long-nose sniper will get it later.

He'd go with Robin's description any time. Temperamental sounds much better.

That's why he holed himself up in the crow's nest under the guise of 'meditating' so no stupid crewmate will disturb him.

For thirty minutes he'd been trying to catch a wink. But sleep seemed elusive. Which is rare considering that he can sleep anytime, anywhere.

His headache was increasing by the hour, but he refrained from asking any medicine from Chopper. He did survive those instances where he suffered from it before. Why start taking one now?

His forehead creased in annoyance. He was more pissed with the fact that the headache was damn irritating rather than painful and stopping him from doing any of his normal activity.

Maybe it's from alcohol depletion? That stupid cook put a temporary ban on their liquor supply since it was dwindling down and as they were nowhere near any island (as per Nami's charts), there's no saying when they can restock.

Stupid swirly brows.

Something touched his forehead, making the crease disappear as he inhaled the familiar scent of mikans.

He slowly opened an eye and stared questioningly at the face hovering just above him.

"Hey," Nami said brushing another kiss on his forehead. "You alright?"

He managed a small smile before closing his eye again. "Your smell is soothing."

He heard her giggle. "I brought you sake," she whispered conspiratorially. She must've nicked one for him, hopefully right under that ero-cook's stupid nose.

"You're heaven sent."

There was a giggle again before her lips touched his for a light kiss. "If that still doesn't make you feel better, go see Chopper later alright?"

"No promises."

"Girlfriend's order!"

He opened his eye again to look at her. He was about to utter a protest but Nami beat him.

"Or I'll tell Chopper what's up and send him here to look at you," she added the threat knowing how obstinate he can be. She left a quick kiss on his cheek before standing up and exiting the crow's nest.


The moment he opened the galley door, his headache worsened from the sound of dinner chaos.

The sake did wonders and it helped put him to sleep. But neither it nor the nap did anything for his headache.

And since he was ordered and threatened with the use of the terms 'girlfriend' and 'Chopper' respectively, he forced himself to climb down the nest to finally seek proper medical treatment.

Before Nami decides to give him her own.

He trudged inside to grab some dinner first. Choruses of 'Zoro!' greeted him, making his head pound harder than before.

"Oi Zoro!" His captain shouted, his happy voice making his ears ring. "Dinner time! Let's eat! Let's eat!"

His chant was joined by the Usopp, Franky and Brook and it took all of Zoro's willpower not to unsheathe his swords and Tatsumaki their sorry asses.

"Zoro," Robin called calmly. She politely nudged a plate in front of the vacant seat beside her, nodding at him to sit down beside her. Far from the mayhem.

Thank heavens; he had at least one nakama who have a LOT of sense in her.

"Where's..." he started to ask the but was interrupted by Franky's holler of 'aw' and 'super' while shaking his hips.

He just sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose. Good grief.

"Are you ok Zoro?" Chopper asked, sensing that something was off with the swordsman the moment he entered the galley.

"I—"

"Ah my Nami-swaan!" Sanji suddenly, very loudly crooned out of nowhere.

He exhaled sharply. All the noise around him was making him feel like somebody was beating his head with taiko bachi-s.

"Let me get that for you my love!" Sanji offered, grabbing the tray the navigator was holding.

"Err… thanks Sanji-kun."

"Where do you want me to bring this tea my sweet?"

Nami smiled. "Give it to Zoro, Sanji-kun."

"Eh?"

"You heard me," the navigator's smile widened as she emerged from the kitchen to take a seat beside Zoro.

Sanji followed suit, a bit shocked. He initially thought the navigator was preparing the tea for herself.

It was for the third rate swordsman?

Fuming and with hands trembling, he set the tray down in front of Zoro.

Despite his headache, Zoro found it amusing. "Thanks, cook." He smirked at the blond chef who was gritting his teeth.

"I hope you scald your tongue you bastard."

Ignoring Sanji, he took the cup to drink the tea Nami had so graciously made for him.

"I hope it burns your throat you damn muscle head."

Zoro just zoned him out. One thing worse than the noises created by his crewmates…

…was the sound of swirly brows bellyaching and grating his nerves.

And he did not want to handle any of that right now damn it.

"And while you are at it, I hope you choke on it you shitty swordsman! HOW DARE YOU OBLIGE NAMI-SAN TO—"

He was cut off by the sound of the tea cup banging on the table.

The rest of the crew stopped their antics when they realized another Zoro-Sanji fight was about to ensue.

The two-thirds of the Monster Trio glared at each other threateningly.

Then Zoro deliberately looked away and nonchalantly dropped his forehead on Nami's shoulder.

"Tell the cook to stop whining."

Everyone—save for Robin—stared at them. Sanji had his mouth hanging open.

"Sanji-kun, stop it." Nami surprisingly requested, placing a hand on Zoro's head affectionately.

Now the noise of almost everyone choking from astonishment was good enough to alleviate his headache just a bit.

But even better was the sound of the cook wailing.


- The End –


R and R please.

I have a penchant for surprised Mugiwaras.