Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.
Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
Warning: OOC possible. One shot.
Rating: T
Note: Inspired by the line: "I love her so much but I think I'm gonna draw a moustache on her face." from Parks and Recreation. Just tweaked it to suit my OTP better.
Summary: "I think you just scarred me for life."
Points of No Return
# 11 : Failed Attempt
"He's sleeping again," Usopp plopped down the bench surrounding the Sunny's library with an exasperated and exaggerated whine. "I need someone to wake him up."
Nami barely spared him a glance as she hunched over her mapping desk, double checking the chart she had just finished. "It's his pre-dinner nap time. Good luck with that."
Usopp scratched his head. "I need his help to move some of the crates we got from the town earlier."
Nami frowned a little, eyes still fixed on her map and still not looking at him. "Why don't you ask Luffy? Or Franky? Or Sanji-kun?"
The sniper slumped further down the bench dejectedly. "Luffy is busy playing. Franky is busy tinkering." He ticked off, staring at the ceiling blankly. "And Sanji… Sanji's in a mood after Luffy accidentally slammed onto some of the crates earlier, breaking it and spilling the contents."
"Hmmm… I take it that what spilled out is edible?"
"Yeah… and fell down the water…"
"WHAT?!" Nami immediately straightened up at that and slammed her hands on her table. "Are you saying our stocks' allowance got wasted just like that?"
Usopp blinked at her disbelievingly. "Well… our food stock got wasted… but yeah, we did buy it so… money as well, just like you said."
Nami scowled. "Alright. Where is Zoro?"
The sharpshooter immediately jumped up at that. "Crow's nest!" He answered almost excitedly. If there was someone who can get Zoro's ass moving… it's none other than their orange-haired, sharp-tongued, devil of a navigator.
That was why he went to her immediately after Zoro ignored his pleas for assistance earlier.
Nami was instantly marching out of the library, with Usopp hot on her heels.
She stomped her way to the crow's nest. Her high-heeled shoes making angry tapping sounds against the wooden floor that Usopp felt a teeny, weeny pinch of guilt that he had to sic Nami on his green-haired friend. But he wanted this task done before another crate fall victim on Luffy's antics.
The navigator passed by the galley. The look on her face made the activity inside halt for a few seconds. Sanji and Robin's gazes—who were cooking and drinking coffee, respectively—followed them and they both stared at Usopp curiously. He responded with a sheepish smile and a shrug of his shoulders.
Nami banged the door opened and made her way down the stairs and across the deck, her knuckles bopping Luffy's head hard as she walked past him.
"Ouch Nami! What did I do?!"
"Well talk later you idiot captain."
Luffy rubbed his head, pouting as he looked at Usopp questioningly.
"That is for the crate you broke." The sniper whispered and he could swear Luffy turned pale.
Nami was now halfway up the rope ladder leading to the nest and Usopp scrambled to follow her.
Someone needs to be in there in case she goes ballistic and stab Zoro with whatever it is that she was holding in her other hand.
Usopp cringed when she finally disappeared up the nest's hatch with a shrill cry of Zoro's name. He can see Luffy doing the same from way down below the deck.
He debated whether he should continue climbing or to stay put, perched along the ropes and leave Zoro to his fate.
Kami bless his soul.
But that irritating, gnawing feeling of guilt was kinda getting to him.
Damn it!
He continued climbing—as fast as he can. Why wasn't there any shouting?! Zoro should be yelling back at the map maker for disturbing his sleep!
Did something happen? Is one of them dead? Kami knows how vicious those two can be at each other. Damn it!
And it was all his fault!
Usopp hurried up, panting when he reached the room. His eyes turned wide when he saw Nami standing beside a still sleeping Zoro, her arms akimbo, her glare on the swordsman sharp enough to maim the katana wielder on the spot.
"Nami?" Usopp called her.
Nami averted her eyes and fixed her deadly glower on him.
He shrank back at the intensity of it. "Uh, I don't like that look on your face." He whispered, cowering.
The orange-haired girl cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Please don't stab him Nami."
"Idiot! I'm not going to!" She hissed at him.
"Oh… ok…"
Nami made a tch-ing sound and Usopp peered at the prone figure on the metal floor. Zoro was snoring like there was no tomorrow. There was even a snot bubble on the verge of popping on his nose.
"And since he's being an ass and doesn't want to wake up…" a wicked grin was forming on Nami's lips. She held her hand up and showed Usopp what she was holding. "Then we better make this worthwhile!"
Usopp's eyes widened and he suppressed a snicker behind his hand. "Nami I have to admit, I love how evil your mind works!"
She grinned and Usopp returned it.
She uncapped the marker she had conveniently brought for this purpose. Stealthily she took a step towards the slumbering, snoring man.
"This is for being a pain the ass," Nami announced as she bent down to start drawing on the snoozing Zoro's face.
The tip of her marker barely touched his face when Zoro suddenly moved. With lightning speed, he had knocked Nami's legs from under her with his own.
"Eeep!"
"You witch!" Zoro's grin was feral as he gazed at the woman who fell on top of him. His hand was grasping her wrist to prevent the marker she was holding from touching his face.
"You think you can get away with this?"
"Of course!" Nami huffed as she tried to wiggle away from his grip. "That's what you get for sleeping like a damn log!"
"Dream on," Zoro smirked. He let his free hand tangled along her orange locks. "And this is what you get for even thinking about it!"
"Zoro wai—mmph."
He slammed his lips against hers.
In the blink of an eye Zoro had reversed their positions without breaking the kiss and the navigator was now under him… pinned down the metal floor…
"Zorooo…" Nami murmured against his lips. When she felt his hand slid inside her skirt to try and pull her underwear down, she smacked him on the shoulder to get him to stop and focus. "Just… wait…"
Zoro drew back from her, his face scrunched into a frown. "What?!"
"Uhm…" Nami shifted her gaze towards the hatch where Usopp was standing, frozen on the spot.
Zoro followed her gaze.
Usopp continued staring at them looking stunned at what he witnessed.
"Guys…" he managed to utter out after a few seconds. "I think you just scarred me for life."
– The End –
I just love Usopp catching these two. I honestly don't know why. Anyway…
R and R please.
