Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated references belong to you-know-who (not me). The theories, opinions and characterisations contained herein are my own and in no way represent the views of, er, you-know-who. Unless you consider thoughtful, constructive reviews as payment, then I do not profit from this in any way either.
Note: This story is a sequel to my first fic, entitled "Black Light". Though I am sure if you stick with this story long enough you will get the gist of the characterisations I established in its predecessor, I strongly suspect that there's some merit to be found in reading the first one first.
Updated: Sunday July 31st 2005
Beta'd by 3-Legged Dog
Chapter 01: Changes
The attic, as Sirius informed her, was the ideal place for a teenaged boy to live. A spirited spring clean and gratuitous use of Wizard's Space charms rendered the floor space completely unrecognisable from its formerly cluttered mess. While the room facing the back of the property had already been converted into a secure, sound-proofed pen for Buckbeak, the front room and common area connecting the two rooms needed a complete overhaul. A lick of paint and selective choice of furniture, and Harry Potter was in for a bedroom of the sorts he'd never had before.
"I helped James design Harry's nursery." Sirius had said quietly one day as the father and daughter poured over colour samples. Having been required to spend the first two weeks of summer with his Muggle relatives in order to reinforce the protective ward around their home, Harry was not set to arrive for another several days. "Red and gold with an abundance of Golden Snitches… do you think James knew something?"
"Well, it was foreseen that his son would be the youngest seeker in a century." Estella countered lightly, picking out a red colour card distractedly. "Do you think Harry'd like something similar?"
"Well he's a Gryffindor…" Sirius shrugged, sighing slightly at Estella's inference. Sometimes it was still hard for him to remember that she had spent time in the past. "What do you think?"
"I think if I was surrounded by red and gold all year at school I'd want to come home to something different." Estella told him honestly. "Thankfully, Ravenclaws don't seem to put as much stock in House colours. We have considerably more taste than to go plastering everything in blue and silver."
"Alright then," Sirius jibed, giving her a challenging look. "You pick a colour Harry will like."
"Green." said Estella instantly, grinning at her father's look of surprise.
"Green?" Sirius shook his head. "Green?"
Estella nodded. "He told me he likes it." She told him, "After all, his eyes are - "
"-green." Sirius and Estella recalled in unison.
"But if James wanted snitches…" Estella frowned, her voice trailing off.
Sirius sighed. "Harry had a nursery to end all nurseries." He reminisced, the image of what that room looked like last coming to his mind with a shudder. Shaking his head dismissively, he smiled and gave Estella a sidelong look. "Until your mother and I took it upon ourselves to outdo it, of course."
"Naturally." Estella smiled. "I'm sure Harry wouldn't mind red and gold though…"
"No, you're right. Gryffindor colours get a bit much." Sirius admitted. "James' scheme was brilliant for a nursery, don't get me wrong, but I imagine he and Harry would have updated it long ago…"
"Well maybe we should wait… let Harry help." Estella suggested.
"No." Sirius shook his head vehemently. "I want his room ready. I want him to feel at home here – I really want to surprise him, don't you?"
"A Slytherin crest on his comforter will do that," said Estella wickedly, a familiar glint in her eye. "I can get my hands on one."
Sirius choked on his mouthful of Butterbeer and gaped openly at his daughter. Looking into her eyes was sometimes too much like looking into a mirror. "I will not have a Slytherin crest in this house!" He stated indignantly.
"Oh, really?" Estella cocked a brow. "What about when Uncle Sev is here?"
"Well unless he has little snakes embroidered on his knickers, I have not seen… Wait… Are you telling me?… No… No way… You're joking!" Sirius continued to gape at his daughter's poker face.
"I didn't say anything." she said simply, the corners of her lips twitching. "But since you're so curious, maybe you should ask him yourself."
Scoffing, Sirius fumbled with the colour cards in his hand, suddenly finding the brightly coloured cards very interesting. "S-So, w-what shade of green?"
In the end, they had settled on a nice emerald, un-Slytherin-like, shade of green for the walls, the colour broken by the wooden picture rail and royal blue trim. The exposed cedar rafters of the sloping attic ceilings were polished up, and the furniture designed in a matching grain. Wooden shutters curtained the window, giving the room a distinctively masculine feel. A hook hung by the window for Hedwig's cage, and a perch sat in a corner by a desk. The main feature of the room was, without a doubt, a selection of framed Quidditch photos that surrounded the brass wall-mounted broom holder. Generous shelving across the exterior sloping walls made ample provision for his schoolbooks and other personal effects to be housed in open display.
"I imagine that living with Muggles, he had to keep a lot of his stuff hidden." Estella had correctly guessed in making the suggestion they give the room a distinctly wizarding feel. "He's going to love those photos…"
Collecting the Quidditch photos had been a long-running project for Sirius. Months of covertly conspiring with the Gryffindor Head of House and trolling through the old school periodicals and records she'd forwarded him whilst in hiding; and he had amassed a impressive collection of live action shots from both his own school years and Harry's. As an added bonus, Sirius had also managed to track down a few candid spectator shots of the earthbound people in their respective lives. Estella had particularly become fond of a picture featuring herself and her mother cheering in the Ravenclaw stands.
"I wonder when that was." Estella mused aloud as she admired a photo of Lily and Remus in the Gryffindor stands. "Lily looks pissed."
"Estella, don't use words like that." Sirius scolded her half-heartedly as he finished untangling a collection of quills in the desk, sliding the drawer home before looking over at her. "The correct term to use is-"
He looked at the image on the wall and grimaced. "-pissed." He finished, for lack of a better word.
"-irate, ticked off, highly animated," Estella ran off a list of alternatives, eying her father triumphantly.
"Well," Sirius growled playfully. "Why don't you use that Ravenclaw vocabulary of yours in future and save the potty mouth for dim-witted Gryffindors like me."
"Aha! You admit it!" said Estella smugly. "Uncle Sev was right all along!"
"Yes, well at least we Gryffindors can kick Ravenclaws' arses on the Quidditch Pitch." He sidled up behind Estella and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, the pair of them pausing to admire the photos.
"Why was Lily so ticked off?" Estella asked curiously.
"Uh," Sirius paused. "I fell off my broom-"
"She was defending your honour?" said Estella with a tone of disbelief.
"You didn't let me finish!" he protested. "I fell off my broom because I was laughing too hard at James."
"Oh." Estella nodded her head in understanding. "You were just being your usual dim-witted self then? S'no wonder Lily was-"
"Hey!" Sirius interrupted her. "I'll have you know your mother had a hand in it too! Who do you think made me laugh?"
"Uh, James?" Estella was confused.
"Yes, James." Sirius shook his head. "But had your mother not clocked him in the face with that Bludger he wouldn't have been so funny. You should have seen the look of surprise on his face -"
"Wait, what was Mum doing playing Quidditch?" Estella was surprised.
"It was just the one game. One of the Ravenclaw Beaters was sick with Dragon Pox." Sirius explained distractedly.
"So, what, you were opposing Beaters?" Estella's eyes went wide, the wheels in her mind turning.
Sirius nodded. "James, the cocky sod, didn't think your mother had it in her to send a Bludger his way. Had this insane idea that she wouldn't want to make me mad; like I would actually be sad to see his head deflated an inch or two. You know that the Muggleborns called him The Artful Dodger because the Bludgers could never get him?" His grinned widened. "Until that day."
"You helped Mum, didn't you?" Estella looked at her father knowingly. "You set up your own team mate!"
"Shhh!" Sirius hissed, casting the photo a wary look as though he feared the woman therein would rise from the photo and throttle him. "The game was in the bag. No one was supposed to see! No one did see, except-"
"-Lily?" Estella raised a brow.
"I never found out for sure if she saw. No one else did, that I know. Everyone always looks to the Chaser when they're about to score." He paused, looking for all the world as though he had just confessed something he hadn't planned on admitting to. "At first I thought she was just mad because I was laughing at James getting hurt - just a bloody nose, don't fret - but then when they took me up to the stands to wait for Madame Pomfrey to come and set my leg - which I'd broken in the fall - Lily volunteered to sit with me and…" his voice trailed off.
"What did she do?" Estella whispered.
"She removed all the bones in my leg!" said Sirius incredulously. "And then she told the teachers that she had only been trying to help and must have gotten the spell wrong… and they believed her!"
"You didn't?"
"C'mon! This was Lily Evans! She knew what she was doing!" Sirius shook his head. "Never so much as threatened to tell James, let alone confirm that she knew it. Guess she figured a night in the infirmary at the mercies of the Skele-Gro was punishment enough."
"I'll say." Estella agreed quietly, not trusting herself to say anymore lest she incriminate herself.
"That's one thing I'll give Lily credit for. She was always an enigma." Sirius sighed. "I'd never have pegged her for being able to come up with something like that. Normally her temper would take hold and she'd just scream… but this, this was brilliant! Got her point across loud and clear, without anyone even knowing it. It was positively… positively… positively Slytherin."
"Oh?" Estella chewed on her bottom lip nervously and instinctively began to inch away from her father, who had begun to compulsively straighten up the frames on the wall.
"You know, come to think of it." Sirius' eyes landed on a picture of Harry playing Quidditch in second year. "Didn't something like that happen with Harry? What was that teacher's name?"
"-Lockhart?" Estella offered, her guilty eyes connecting with her father's, whose narrowed in response.
"Estella." he growled, the pieces clicking in his mind.
"What? So I, maybe, kind of, mentioned something in Charms class about a boy breaking his arm playing Quidditch and the teacher getting the pronunciation wrong-"
Sirius laughed and silenced her chastened explanation with a finger on her lips. "You are so like your mother." he said softly, causing Estella to smile at him warmly, relief flooding her features.
"Speaking of Mum," she said. "If Lily took out the bones in your leg, what on earth did she do to her?"
At hearing his daughter's foreboding tone, Sirius barked out a laugh. "Congratulated her on her aim!" he said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say she was secretly ecstatic to see James eat humble pie. He was, after all, taken down by someone with next to no Quidditch experience and never lived it down!"
"That sounds about right," said Estella, a flat tone to her voice.
Sensing his daughter's mood shift, he sobered and hugged her briefly. "I know, kiddo, I miss them too," he whispered into her hair.
Estella smiled gratefully and returned the hug, recovering her resolve. With the events of the past month lingering in the back of their minds, everyone had been feeling particularly sensitive; but it was important not to lose focus. When looking for photos, for instance, Sirius had been keen to include an enlarged photograph of Harry snatching the egg from under the Hungarian Ridgeback's nose. The image captured vividly the dragon in close pursuit, smoke and fire billowing from its flaring nostrils and coming close to singeing the twigs on the end of Harry's broom. In the wake of the third task, however, it was mutually decided that the Tournament, as a whole, would be something Harry would not care to be reminded of any time soon. The photo, therefore, sat on the nightstand in Sirius' room; next to a photograph Hermione had taken of Estella and Tonks at Reading.
"Who would have thought the library would archive this stuff!" said Sirius, wiping his hands together as he stood back to admire the finished room. "Remind me to send Minerva some Cat Nip."
"The room looks magnificent, Dad." said Estella. "James would approve."
"You think Harry will like it?" asked Sirius, a worry line forming in his brow. "I mean I hope he doesn't think we're forcing this on him…"
"Dad. DAD!" Estella tugged at his arm. "Don't worry. He'll love it!"
"And the…" Sirius motioned his head to the common area behind him.
"Relax, will you?" said Estella, ribbing her father playfully. "He won't know what hit him."
The common area linking the two rooms was a wide, windowless space that had once been Sirius' manly domain and favoured convening point for him and his old friends. At Estella's insistence, they had kept a lot of the old features: the Marauder's collection of vintage editions of Quidditch Weekly was unpacked and stacked on the shelves; the battered leather couches and distinct Gryffindor Common Room influence was retained. One of the only differences to the room was in the form of the Muggle Billiards table that Estella had asked Sirius to transform his old duelling platform into.
"I know it has a history," she had told him. "But do you really want to remind Harry of duelling? I mean look at who he duelled-"
"Yes, but a… what did you call it, a 'billiards' table?"
"Oh come on, all those Muggle movies we watch and you've never even been curious?" Estella rolled her eyes. "C'mon, it'll be fun."
Sirius had regarded her with an appraising look before nodding finally. "So… a Billiards Table."
Because it was to be a shared space for the two children to get away from the 'old and crusty' tenants of the house, Estella was given creative license to make her mark on the room. As well as the Billiards Table, a few of her posters adorned the walls, and her Chess set took pride of place between two comfy looking recliners. The rest of the space she'd decided to personalise with Harry's input, as she didn't want to give the newest member of their household the impression that she had in any way taken over the room.
Once the final preparations were made for Harry's arrival, the residents of the Black home could not wait for the day of reckoning. Even Remus, who had been away from home a lot on various errands for Dumbledore, had made a point of being home to welcome Harry. When the day finally arrived, they couldn't get him through the door fast enough.
Still basking from the afterglow of the look on the Dursleys' faces when Sirius and Estella had gone to collect Harry in their full wizarding robes, the newly formed family was still laughing as they walked in the door. What made events even more amusing, was the fact that the recurrent lag of communication between the Ministry of Magic and the Muggle media meant that news of Sirius' exoneration had not become public knowledge in Muggle society.
"I never knew a Muggle could turn so red!" Estella giggled at the memory. "If I didn't know better I'd think he'd taken a dose of Pepper-Up in his tea!"
"I still think I ought to have…" Sirius growled, his hand twitching over his wand. Had he known just how unbearable Harry's Muggle relatives were, he'd never have permitted Harry to go there. The only reason he'd agreed to Dumbledore's imposition of two weeks, was because he had rather foolishly assumed that Harry's relationship with his blood relatives was sound enough to warrant a visit. Why Harry hadn't protested or told anyone just how terrible they were was something Sirius fully intended to question the boy at length about later.
"Dad…" said Estella warningly, placing her hand over his and entwining their fingers soothingly. She, on the other hand, had been slightly more perceptive about the nature of Harry's relationship with the Dursleys and had been instrumental in calming her father down when he'd found Harry's wand locked in the closet under the stairs. "We talked about this."
"It's okay, Sirius, really," said Harry reassuringly, happy just to see the back of his childhood home at last. "I didn't know any different. It's no big deal."
"No big deal?" said Sirius, his voice raising an octave. "No big deal? Harry… Merlin… that wasn't how it was supposed to be! James would have… I would have… I should go back there and give that son of a-"
"Ah, I thought I heard voices!" said Remus, emerging from the kitchen as though on cue. "Welcome home, Harry."
"Home…" Harry murmured wistfully, a hopeful look in his eyes as they greedily took in the cosy warmth of the house around him.
"With your hearing, Moony, I've no doubt you heard us two blocks away!" Estella wagged her finger at him knowingly, hugging him briefly and sniffing at his clothes suspiciously. "Have you been cooking with chocolate?"
"Truffles are setting in the fridge as we speak, cub." Remus grinned, ruffling her hair. "Trust you to sniff them out first! Harry, I thought we could indulge in a little aperitif after dinner."
"Aperitif, Remus?" Sirius scoffed. "Since when did you become so posh?"
"Says the one who pulled out his richest dress robes to run errands in Muggle Surrey." Remus eyed Sirius up and down, a smile forming on his face.
"Yes, well, Harry isn't an errand," said Sirius, puffing out his chest defensively. "Can't blame a handsome devil like me wanting to spruce himself up for the sake of Muggle relations."
"Welcome to our home, Harry." said Estella, rolling her eyes as she tugged at his sleeve. "You'll get used to those two. Come, I'll give you the tour."
Having never been in a wizarding house aside from The Burrow, Harry was in awe to see the seamless amalgamation between Muggle and Magical influences. As far as Estella could gather, he felt immediately at home within the house's welcoming walls, and his room rendered him speechless.
"The colour," Estella prompted, biting her bottom lip nervously. "I hope it's okay…"
"No…" said Harry, shaking his head in amazement as he walked the perimeter of the room slowly, his fingers trailing over everything within reach. He turned to see the look of horror on Estella's face. "No, it's perfect. It's all perfect."
"Good." said Sirius, letting out a breath of relief. He and Remus had barrelled in through the doorway behind the two teenagers, just in time to see Harry's reaction. "I'm glad you like it."
"Thank you," said Harry, his voice catching "for everything."
"That's quite all right, Harry." Sirius stopped in his tracks and inhaled deeply through his nose. "Moony! What's that smell?"
Beside him, Remus swore uncharacteristically and tore from the room. Staring after him, Estella's eyes narrowed in question.
"What's up with him?" she asked lightly.
"He hasn't left the kitchen since we left." Sirius admitted dismissively. "He wants to put on an all-out Wizarding Feast. One of the spells must have worn off or something."
"Oh," Harry shuffled nervously, his face lined with worry. "I hope he hasn't gone to any trouble on my account."
"Of course not!" Sirius assured his Godson. "Moony's been looking for a reason to get me out of the kitchen so he can wave his wand and show off his prowess. He was rather insistent that your first meal in a Wizarding home wasn't prepared the Muggle way. I don't know how to even boil an egg with a wand, you see-"
"-But he's brilliant cooking the Muggle way." Estella countered.
"Why thank you, Estella." Sirius smiled at his daughter. "Anyway, I tried to tell Moony that you'd lived in a Wizarding house before and Lily still cooked the Muggle way sometimes; but he insisted…"
"That's funny." Estella said quietly, a thoughtful look on her face. "When I first came here Moony couldn't introduce me to enough Muggle food. All the delivery places knew us by name by the end of the-"
"But that's because you'd never been in the Muggle world before." said Sirius.
"True." Estella conceded, although deep down she couldn't help but think how much easier and less stressful it had been for her Godfather to order in Muggle food as compared to orchestrating a culinary feast of this magnitude. Pouting slightly, she continued. "But still, I'd never even seen a Wizard prepare food - only the School Elves!"
"I don't get the relevance." Harry shook his head. "It's all food."
"Spoken like a true son of Prongs." Sirius smirked, clapping Harry on the shoulder and leaning in conspiringly. "It's all about the taste, isn't it? James and I never understood why there was ever another difference."
"It's quite different." Estella said somewhat defensively. "Anyone can chop a carrot with a knife, but getting it right with magic takes a certain determination."
If anyone in that room knew the difficulties inherent in using magic to manipulate food, it was Estella; for if she thought about it, some of the only times Remus had prepared complex meals with magic, was when they were at Hogwarts and he was teaching her to recreate the spells. Whenever she was staying with him in London, the most he'd prepare with magic would be sandwiches or the odd stew; and other than that they'd order in.
"Why do you think I prefer the Muggle way?" Sirius smirked, not noticing the perturbed look on Estella's face. "Always had a House Elf to cook for me as I was growing up. Never had the need to learn the techniques until I was older, and by then it was too late to ever show any promise."
"What, you mean you have to learn when you're young?" Harry asked, a disappointed tone in his voice.
"Relax, kiddo, you're not exactly ancient." Sirius shook his head in amusement.
"But how do we learn how?" Harry was confused. "It's not covered in class."
"Oh, it's a type of under-aged magic the Ministry doesn't crack down on. It gives families without house elves clearance to teach their children skills." Sirius explained, shrugging apologetically. "I don't know that much about it. Like I said, my family had an elf - but I'm sure Remus would be more helpful-"
"How can you be so sure the magic isn't traced?" Estella asked her father in challenge. "Remus only ever taught me while I was at school."
"That's probably because he'd rather you blow up your Uncle's quarters than our kitchen." said Sirius flippantly, though he didn't look very sure of himself.
"Not funny, Dad." said Estella, her mind inwardly wondering if what her father said about needing to learn how to cook magically from a young age was true or not - for if so, she'd really owe Remus some thanks. Turning her attention back to her father, she turned her nose up slightly and looked at him sternly before turning to leave. "You really shouldn't speculate about things you know nothing about."
"Estella." Sirius called her back in concern, causing her to turn and look at him. "Where are you going?"
"Thought I'd go get out of this get up." Estella informed her father tiredly, the flame in her eye dissipating as she came back to her senses. This was her father - they were always throwing insults at each other with a light-hearted, bantering humour. She'd had no reason to take this any differently.
"Don't." Sirius shook his head. "We should dress for the occasion. Moony's gone to a lot of trouble, the least we can do is glam up and make fools of ourselves with the formalities."
Harry looked horror-stricken. "The uh, only robes I have asides from my school ones are my dress robes" he said, casting a critical eye over the tailored attire of the father and daughter before him, which, while tasteful and affluent, were not quite as formal. "But that will be even more over-dressed-"
"Well that settles it then!" Sirius clapped his hands together decisively. "Estella, you heard the man. Dress robes it is!"
With a mad grin on his face and suspicious glint in his eyes, Sirius swept out of the room with an almost Lockhart flourish.
Swallowing audibly, Harry looked to Estella for clarification. She grinned wistfully.
"Wear your dress robes, Harry." she informed him, turning to follow her father out of the room before pausing in her step and turning back a second time. "On second thought, you may want to get Remus to spell them with a food-repellent charm before we sit down to eat." At Harry's indignant look, she added. "If I know Remus, he's cooked too much food..." she paused,"...and if I know Dad, he won't be able to resist."
"Resist what?" Harry whispered.
"A food fight." said Estella as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"But... but won't that make a awful mess?" Harry asked naively, his mind casting back to all the times he had to clean up after Dudley and his horrible friends under similar circumstances.
"Harry," said Estella exasperatedly. "We live with Wizards. It's not like Filch is going to come spoil the fun and make us clean it up without magic."
"But we can't use magic outside of school!"
"So we follow the lead of our elders and leave them to clean it up." Estella shrugged. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it soon enough."
That was two weeks ago. As expected, Harry did not take long to settle into his room and get used to living with three fellow wizards. Things for Estella, however, were becoming increasingly exasperating. Obsessed with making Harry feel a part of the family, Sirius was unintentionally spending less and less time with his daughter. Being made to feel like his second priority was something she was not accustomed to, no matter the impersonality of the cause.
To make matters worse, Remus was away for days at a time, visiting Apothecary suppliers around Europe in an effort to rally support for a subsidy that would make the Wolfsbane Potion more affordable for the predominantly destitute Werewolf population.
Severus too, was already distant and inaccessible to Estella - his coerced association with the dangerous Malfoy patriarch meant that Estella could not visit him. Although he had made efforts to see Estella earlier in the summer, it was just asking too much of the unyielding Potions Master to be comfortable and civil around the son of his childhood nemesis.
The Slytherin's one visit to the combined family's home turned into a disaster when Harry slummed into the room in his pyjamas and drew the man's automated ire. Estella had snapped at her uncle in defence, and Sirius was furious at the destabilising effect it had on Harry – who, for the next week, would not leave his room without being impeccably presentable. Defensive, Severus bristly announced that as he saw enough of his niece during the term, he could go a few weeks without seeing her.
While Estella could understand the method in her uncle's madness, part of her could not help but feel slightly dejected at the implication that the man who raised her didn't seem too put out with the idea of not seeing her at all over summer. It was already bad enough that security measures meant that Estella could not have her friends visit the house, and nor could she visit them, either.
With Voldemort's return and the inherent danger both she and Harry were now in, Sirius was absolutely pedantic about ensuring their safety. Only the Muggle world was acceptably 'low-risk' for him, but any outings into the anonymity of the local Muggle amenities were postponed by the continued ineptitude of the Minister to update the Muggle Prime Minister of Sirius' innocence.
Even though they had no shortage of things to do within the house, the creeping sensation of cabin fever did not escape Sirius. Remus' infrequent returns formed part of a recurring highlight to his monotonous existence; the werewolf's colourful accounts of risk and excitement giving the housebound Marauder itchy feet. With practical experience as an Auror – an Auror with a distinct insight into Azkaban - Sirius felt he was an untapped resource that would be better served doing something out in the field. Imbued with a remarkably moral sense of honour, the notion of being able-bodied but housebound was something he despised; and he yearned to take a more active role in protecting his family.
The idea that her father would rather go out and die an 'honourable death' protecting what he valued, as opposed to accepting the security measures as she and Harry had no choice but to do in the name of enjoying a much longer life was something Estella felt very uncomfortable about. Saying goodbye to Remus each time he left the house and not even knowing what her uncle was up to was bad enough without having the reliability of her father being there for her thrown into question. No matter how hard she tried she just could not understand his reasoning, and she found it rather selfish that he should be so willing to give his life without giving any apparent thought to how that would impact on those dependent on him. Their subsequent inability to see things from each other's point of view and agree on a middle ground was a rare source of contention between the father and daughter; it marked the first of certain topics that were simply not discussed.
"I don't believe him." Estella groaned, falling into her favourite chair in her and Harry's 'common room' and regarding Harry with a tired look.
"He still on about honour and going out in a blaze of glory?" Harry put down the 1977 Annual of Quidditch Weekly and stretched his legs out on an ottoman, casting her a sympathetic look as she nodded agitatedly. Harry too had been adversely affected by Sirius' immovable sense of chivalry – he'd come to realise so much in the time he'd been staying with his God-family and could never bring himself to ever go back to the Dursleys now. He'd taken up reading through his Godfather's collection of Quidditch magazines as a way to give Estella time with her father, but he'd quickly become hooked – Harry didn't know what was more amusing… the dated fashion and loose style of writing; or the running commentary previous readers had annotated over the pages. Even the freedom of being able to read something from the Wizarding world in any room of the house was a luxury he'd only just begun to appreciate.
"Why can't I get him to understand?" Estella shook her head at the heavens and made fists with her hands as she growled. "I could just strangle him some times… I'd swear he must have never listened to a word of what your Grandfather said in class!"
"'Bout chivalry and all that?" Harry rolled his eyes. This was coming to be a common conversation between the two.
"Yes. 'Chivalry and all that', Harry." Estella snapped at him. "Don't you look at me like that! I know that tone in your voice! Don't think I can't tell you're sick of me ranting about it!"
"It's not that, Estella," said Harry exasperatedly. "God, what's gotten into you? All I meant is I just don't know what else there is we could do to convince him any differently. Having the same argument with him again and again isn't going to sway-"
"Well at least I am trying to make him see reason!" Estella snapped moodily, her eyes narrowing at Harry suspiciously. "You Gryffindors are all the same."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, don't try to pretend that you don't have a hero complex." Estella scoffed, tensely ticking specific examples off her fingers. "One: Hermione and the Troll… Two: Neville and the Rememberall… Three-"
"Okay, okay! So maybe I understand him a lot better because I'm the same" Harry admitted.
"Are you saying I don't know my father?" Estella whispered defensively. "That I wouldn't try to help a friend in trouble?" she shot him a hurt look. "Nice, Harry. Thanks a lot."
"No, no, no-"
"For your information, Harry, I understand my father perfectly well." Estella informed him, crossing her arms across her chest in a manner that reminded Harry just whose niece she was. "Perhaps that's why we can't agree. I would rather give my life for him than watch him die. And he would rather die than lose me. It's hopeless."
"I want him to stick around too, Estella." said Harry quietly, a haunted look in his eyes.
"I know you do, Harry." Estella sighed. "Sorry for snapping at you… I don't know what's wrong with me lately." Harry nodded in acceptance. "I just wish he'd understand that I couldn't live without him anymore than he reckons he couldn't handle seeing either of us hurt."
"Well we'll just have to keep a close eye on him, won't we then?" said Harry conspiringly.
"If I had my way I'd take Padfoot to school as my familiar and never let him out of my sight." said Estella, grinning slightly. "And if his Animagus form was a cat, rat or toad; I wouldn't hesitate."
"Could always transfigure him into one." Harry shrugged. "What's Remus like at Transfiguration?"
"Who needs help with their Transfiguration?" A voice asked of them inquiringly from the floor, where Sirius' head was peaking through the trapdoor.
Harry and Estella fought to mask the guilty looks on their face and feigned innocence.
"Nothing, Padfoot." They both said in unison, a singsong quality to their voice.
"Should I be watching my back?" Sirius asked, a playful hint of challenge in his voice.
"Oh, I don't know," Estella grinned wickedly and wagged her finger at her father as she stood and began to pace. "Though I think the presence of an eavesdropping head warrants some retribution, don't you, Harry?"
"Mmm, most definitely." Harry grinned playfully.
"Watch it you two!" Sirius shook his head at the pair. "Don't forget who immortalised the term 'Marauder'!"
"Fred and George." Estella and Harry responded automatically, laughing at Sirius' indignant look.
"What?" Estella challenged. "Without their idolising and sickening hero-worship, the legend would not have lived-"
"Speaking of Fred and George, are we ever going to tell them who you are, Sirius?" Harry asked.
"Why, and spoil the fun?" Sirius grinned. "Can't we tease them a little longer?"
"Yeah Harry. Best give Dad a target, else we'd cop it." said Estella. "By the way Dad, no offence, but what are you doing up here?"
"I wanted to apologise for before," said Sirius, hauling himself into the room fully before looking intently at Estella.
"No need." Estella dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand. "But for what it's worth, I was out of line."
"No you weren't." Sirius shook his head. "You were pulling me into line… just like your mother, you are."
"So I've been told," said Estella, rolling the balls around on the billiards table. "Hey! The white's all scorched!"
"Busted." said Harry. "Told you she'd notice."
"Most definitely like your mother." Sirius shook his head in amazement and pulled out his wand. "Rack them up, I'll show you."
Estella's eyes narrowed. The Billiards table had been her idea, and yet it appeared that Harry had played a game with her father before she did. Sighing inaudibly, Estella quashed the discomfort in the pit of her stomach - the physical manifestation of the disappointment she felt at not being the first to figure the game out with her father. No one had so much as invited her up to watch, even.
"Estella?" Her father's voice roused her from her thoughts.
"What? Oh, no thanks." she said flatly. "I'm going to groom Buckbeak. He hasn't be fed yet either."
"Sirius and I did that this morning." Harry corrected her. "You weren't up yet, I think."
Another pang of what Estella was quickly identifying as jealousy coursed through her veins, but she covered it up masterfully.
"Oh, well, I haven't visited him for a while." she said lamely. "You go ahead and play."
"All right." said Sirius. "But I intend to use my wand. I'll clean the cue ball afterwards this time though, OK?"
"Fine. Whatever." Estella said dismissively, ducking Buckbeak's room quickly, lest they see the tears pricking her eyes.
Estella's mood continued to swing with no measure of predictability or rationality. Since they were all a little on edge by the state of the Wizarding world and the restrictive provisions it bestowed upon them, this temperament was readily accepted as an outlet for stress; and was easily dismissed. It wasn't until Estella woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, that the pieces started to click into place.
"Oh… my… god!" Estella gasped breathlessly, her face heating up in embarrassment.
Living with three childlike males was, for the most part, a barrel of laughs; but it was at moments like this that Estella missed a having woman's touch. Throwing off her blanket and climbing out of bed, Estella grimaced at the discomfort of her predicament; racking her sleep-addled brains for a solution. Fingering her wand in her hands, she cursed the inability to cast a simple discreet charm and considered her other options. With the tactful and sensitive Remus away, and the efficient, if blunt, uncle keeping up appearances with her nemesis, that left Estella with only Harry or her father.
Coming to that grim realisation, Estella groaned. Having only been in her life for the past two years, Sirius often found it hard to remember that his daughter was nearly fourteen, not two. If he (or Remus for that matter) had his way she would never grow up; and the revelation of such an integral part of her development would surely send him into denial. She had no way of knowing how he would handle the situation, let alone if he would be of any help.
Seeing no other choice, Estella grabbed her dressing gown and wrapped it around herself. Exiting her bathroom and crossing her room, she headed towards the hall and reluctantly made her way towards her father's room; avoiding the creaks in the floorboards by memory. Going to Harry with this was just out of the question; whether or not she considered Harry as a friend or as a de facto sibling made no difference as to the sensitivity of the situation. On the other hand, if Harry were a girl…
'That's it.' Estella thought to herself in relief, bypassing her father's door in favour of the stairs. 'Hermione… Hermione would know!'
Luckily for Estella, the Grangers had established a Floo connection shortly after their daughter had commenced her second year at Hogwarts; and so creeping her way inside the Muggle family's home in the dead of night was relatively easy. As luck would have it, Hermione was curled up asleep on an armchair, with her head quite literally in a book. Her parents had evidently decided to leave her as she was, one of them draping a blanket over their bookish daughter before turning in for their own slumber.
"Hermione!" Estella whispered, shaking the girl lightly on the arm. "Hermione!"
"What?" Hermione grumbled, batting Estella's hand away sleepily as she struggled to regain full consciousness. Realising where she was and who was waking her, she jerked awake and straightened in her chair. "Estella? Estella, what is it? What's happened?"
A hurried explanation and embarrassed admission later and Hermione smiled at the younger girl in sympathy.
"It's all right, I understand." said Hermione, rising from her chair and straightening her crumpled clothes. "I'll fetch my mother."
"Oh, no, I don't want to bother her," said Estella awkwardly.
"Don't worry about it, she won't mind." Hermione assured her, tugging at her arm lightly. "Come on up to my room, and I'll find you something to wear."
"Thanks." said Estella humbly, her face flushing with embarrassment when she realised that she hadn't even thought to change.
"Hello Dr Granger." Estella spoke softly as she addressed the elder Granger woman with an uncharacteristic shyness; her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she stood tensely in the centre of Hermione's bedroom, not wanting to sit down.
"Oh you poor child." Dr Granger clucked soothingly, reminding Estella immediately of Mrs Weasley; but in a distinctly less smothering way. "Come along, let's get you fixed up."
"Thank you, Dr Granger. I'm sorry to disturb you." Estella admitted gratefully, allowing herself to be led into the bathroom. "I… I just didn't know what else to do."
"It's quite alright, Estella. I'm happy to help." Dr Granger smiled at her surprise houseguest warmly. "You and that Godfather of yours helped my husband and I immensely in understanding our daughter's world."
"It was nothing, really." Estella assured the woman, uncomfortable of making a grown woman feel indebted to her.
"And so is this." said Dr Granger kindly, nodding affirmatively to drive the point home, before beginning to prescribe a number of Muggle remedies. "…now I know these are Muggle techniques, but they work."
Just then, Hermione walked in behind them bearing a clean set of pyjamas and goblet of potion.
"There's enough here to see you through to the end of summer." Hermione instructed, handing her the goblet. "You'll have to get the ingredients from your uncle or Madame Pomfrey after that. It's utterly degrading how they regulate the distribution like they do to monitor when young witches-"
"Yes Hermione, I'm sure there's plenty of time to discuss Wizarding politics in the morning." Dr Granger cut in. "Young Estella has had a rough night."
"I know, Mother. I was just saying…" Hermione pursed her lips together in a manner that eerily mirrored her mother before her.
"Hermione, love, it's summer." Dr Granger reminded her only child. "Let's save the lessons for another day, hmmm? It's awfully late."
Estella couldn't help but suppress a smirk at Dr Granger's deftness in controlling her daughter's tendency to impart knowledge.
"Oh that's alright, Dr Granger. Hermione is really rather helpful," said Estella. "As a matter of fact, I happen to agree with her. If the potions ingredients were readily available I would have had it on hand and would not be in this embarrassing situation."
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Dr Granger pointed out to the blushing child. "Now come along, how about you freshen up and get changed while Hermione and I make a bed up for you in Hermione's room. Hermione, where do you keep the Floo Powder? Estella don't worry about a thing I will have Hermione Floo your house and let…"
"Oh no, Dr Granger!" Estella shook her head vehemently. If her father ever found out she'd left the house, he'd have kittens. Shaking her head even more violently to get the imagery of Padfoot-like kittens out of her head, she cleared her throat. "I… I mean I don't want to wake him. I'll just sneak back in and he'll never have to know-"
"Estella Black! Do you mean to say you didn't tell anyone where you were going?" Hermione shrieked, eyes wide. "After all Harry was telling me before holidays about-"
"Oh come on, what was I supposed to do? Wake him up and say, 'Dad, I've just become a woman and I'm going to duck by Hermione's for some advice.'" Estella rolled her eyes. "He can't even bring himself to believe I am nearly fourteen, let alone-"
"All right, all right, I get the point." Hermione frowned. "Don't you think he might be worried if he wakes up and you're not there?"
"Hermione's right, dear, I think I should call your father and let him know where you are just in case." Dr Granger nodded gravely. "You will have to tell him eventually anyway. I know it must be difficult for you, Estella, but he has a right to know."
Estella groaned melodramatically as Dr Granger left the bathroom, presumably to search for Floo Powder. "Oh why don't I just bleed to death while I am at it!"
"Estella, don't even joke about that." Hermione chided her slightly, pausing on her way out. "Now, hurry up and get changed. I'll 'forget' where the Floo Powder is and buy you some time."
"Thanks, Hermione." said Estella sincerely.
"No problem." Hermione nodded in acknowledgement. "Put your pyjamas in the hamper and we'll trade them back later, okay?"
With her borrowed potion stoppered and tucked inside the pocket of her robe and a Muggle hot water bottle under her arm, Estella stepped back into the Floo feeling ten times better. After a last appreciative exchange with the two Granger women, Estella threw the powder into the fire and sent herself home. She'd barely been gone forty minutes, and was quietly confident that she'd be able to sneak back up to her room and change her sheets without anyone even realising she was ever gone.
How wrong she was.
Stumbling out of the Floo and rolling out onto the hearth of her family's living room, Estella was disorientated to see the room ablaze with light and full of voices. Apparently, in her absence, the house had come to life, tenfold, with many unrecognisable faces tramping through the house and yelling frantic instructions to each other.
"I sent word to our contact at the Floo Network half an hour ago asking for a trace, we should -" a dishevelled looking wizard paced the room analytically.
"Great Scott, she's back!" an equally scruffy looking man spotted her picking herself up off the floor.
Suddenly feeling all eyes on her, Estella noted with a sinking feeling in her stomach that everyone looked as though they had just been dragged out of bed.
"She's back!"
The call out rippled through the house like a wave, causing the distant slamming of chairs scraping across the kitchen floor and a small stampede of feet.
Swallowing heavily, Estella backed up against the shelf, wishing she could just melt into it and disappear. The alarm had so clearly been raised and she had unintentionally caused a lot of people trouble and worry… none so more than her father, who she could hear approach.
"Estella!" Sirius cried out, barrelling into the room looking as though he had just overcome a Dementor with his bare hands. "Oh thank Merlin!"
His feet carrying him across the room and through the sea of people – nameless faces that just seemed to multiply as the room closed in around Estella – in just a few wide strides, Sirius caught his daughter off guard by swooping her into a bone crushing hug.
"I thought I lost you!" he whispered into her ear, his breath catching as he held her as though he was never intending to let go. Then, holding her at arm's length, he searched her eyes in question. "What happened? Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried -"
"I'm sorry… I didn't think you'd miss me." Estella mumbled quietly, unable to meet her father's troubled gaze.
"Estella, look at me." Sirius gripped her chin gently and tilted her head up. "Of course I would notice! Merlin Estella, you are my life! I couldn't bear to breathe if I had to face life without you!"
He paused to take his breath and get a handle of his emotions. Waking up to find her gone had rocked him to his core. In the short time he had been in his daughter's life, she'd disappeared more times than he'd care to recall. Not only did this recurrent vulnerability question his ability to protect his child, but he couldn't help but wonder when their luck was going to run out.
"The wards went off when the Floo was activated." he told her shakily, his relief bordered by a residual feeling of panic. "When I found the blood in your room and no other trace of you, I thought someone had-"
"I'm sorry." Estella repeated, flushing.
"So you should be." Sirius snapped, his assurance that his daughter was all right and had never been in any apparent danger making way for his anger. "Where were you? Do you have any idea what you put me through?" Now Sirius was waving his arms wildly, indicating the captive audience. "What you put everyone through?"
"I'm sorry." Estella said a little more firmly, though her voice was trembling.
"Is that all you have to say?" Sirius hissed, his own voice wavering. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
Estella eyed the crowd warily and flushed with embarrassment. Of all the ironies in the world, having gone to such lengths to keep the situation discreet and trauma-free and it turns out to be the most humiliating night of her entire life. She was about to stutter another hopeless apology when thankfully one of the female members of the response team was able to put the pieces together for herself and didn't hesitate to come to her rescue.
"Sirius, perhaps you should discuss this with your daughter privately." she suggested, the look on her face imploring him to connect the dots for himself and spare Estella any more humiliation.
"No." said Sirius firmly; shattering the relieved look Estella had shot the intuitive woman. "She got all of us out of bed, so she can explain to all of us just what was so damn important she had to run off in the middle of the night." He turned back to Estella. "This better not be because of a prank, Estella, or so help me I'll really start acting my age."
"It wasn't a prank -"
"Sirius, the Floo Network has just returned word on where the Floo connected to," a weedy looking man with a nasal voice cut in excitedly, brandishing an official looking parchment in his hand as he ran into the room. "Do you know a family by the name of Granger?"
"Granger?" Sirius repeated, nodding at the man before shooting his daughter a questioning look. "You went to Hermione's?"
"Yes."
"Wh…" Sirius' voice trailed off and he looked at her as though seeing her for the first time. "Wait, those aren't your pyjamas! Yours are all animated."
By now, most of the men in the room had been able to piece together the events of the night for themselves, and were staring at Sirius incredulously; amazed that he had yet to get on the uptake. Taking in his daughter's change of clothes, the water bottle in her hand and potion bottle peeking out of the pocket of her robe, Sirius' eyes narrowed. Slowly but surely, the wheels in his mind began to turn as he looked from Estella to the increasingly aware looks of their silent audience.
"Oh." he said flatly, cringing apologetically as he finally understood. "Oh… sweetheart, I didn't know… I overreacted… I should have thought to check with your friends first."
Blushing furiously, the damage already been done – this incident would surely scar her for life – Estella pulled away from her father, tears of humiliation shining in her eyes.
"This is exactly why I didn't tell you!" she hissed, her body trembling with emotion. "I just knew you'd humiliate me!"
"Come now Estella, that's not fair," said Sirius, rubbing a hand over his weary face.
"Why'd you even do all this anyway?" Estella asked irrationally, fatigue and hormones getting the best of her. "It's not like I'm the important one. None of these people could care less if I had been taken in the night. What'd you tell them to get them all here so fast? That something had happened to Harry?"
"Estella!" Sirius was shocked by her tone.
"What? Don't think I didn't hear you lot talking to Dumbledore! Everything was Harry this and Harry that! Got to make sure Harry is kept safe." She was babbling almost incoherently now. "I bet the only reason I am not allowed to do anything is because I might lead danger back here to Harry."
"Estella, stop this nonsense at once before you say something you regret." Sirius shook her gently by the shoulders; neither of them noticing that people had began to file out of the room discreetly.
"I've already done that." Estella sobbed quietly, her voice tinged with regret as she began to adjust to the effect of her oscillating hormones. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry." Sirius embraced his daughter comfortingly. "I try so hard to be your friend that I forget that I have to be not just your father, but your mother, too."
Estella gave him a quizzical look.
"I'm sorry you didn't think you could come to me," said Sirius softly, kissing her brow. "I may be a man, but I did live with a woman before you were born, you know. I'm not clueless." She shot him a disbelieving look. "Alright, not completely clueless." He considered her carefully. "It appears that Harry isn't the only one who has trouble asking for help from those around him… I would have helped you, Estella. I'm here for that, please don't forget."
"I know. I'm sorry." Estella butted her head against his chest lightly, her eyes lowered in embarrassment.
So wrapped up were the father and daughter in making their amends that they did not notice the departure of Dumbledore's hand-picked response team; let alone realise that Harry had been sitting on the stairs in the hallway, listening to every word. With his shoulders slumped with the weight of the world, Harry's face was drawn and despondent-looking. Had either Sirius or Estella thought to look at him at that moment, they would have seen an extreme look of hurt and confusion on their bona fide family member's features.
When the word had got out that Estella had returned, Harry was, of course, filled with unspeakable relief. In recognising Sirius' need to ascertain her well being for himself, however, Harry found himself holding back - loitering instead in the doorway at a discreet distance as the father and daughter were reunited. As the constant bustle of people trafficking the thoroughfare made him feel increasingly exposed and out of place; Harry retreated to the stairs, away from the crowd. Sirius' worry, as he recalled, was undeniably real and raw with emotion. Even when Estella was lost in the past, he'd not seen Sirius as distraught as he'd been when he tore into Harry's room barely an hour before. Within ten minutes the house had been swarming with what Sirius had rather distractedly told him was 'the old crowd'.
Asides from the odd person staring at his forehead, Harry's presence amongst the mayhem was largely overlooked; and the speculative implication that Estella's disappearance was tied to Voldemort's return had Harry reeling with guilt.
"Why not go directly for the boy?" A gruff voice had argued to his partner, neither men noticing that the said boy had been listening from the shadows.
"It sends a more powerful message going for the girl." The second man countered. "A warning. To unsettle us. Telling us that no matter what we do the boy won't be safe."
Harry shivered violently at the memory, his ears now burning with what he'd overheard Estella say. She had identified the inconvenience of his presence, and she was absolutely right on all counts. With an increasing feeling of guilt, Harry realised just how much Estella had to give up by having him stay, and, in turn, just how selfish he had been. Not only did she have to share her father - whom he did happen to be self-indulgently commanding a lot of time from - but the security measures that had to be implemented for his safety kept her from seeing her friends and having any sort of normal holiday. Flattening his hair over his scar compulsively, Harry wallowed in his self-doubt. Once again it appeared to him that he was imposing on his hosts and was as unwelcome a blemish as he ever was at the Dursleys'. Feeling increasingly foolish as to have actually believed that his Magical 'family' had ever truly wanted him around, Harry reprimanded himself for not realising sooner that it was really all too good to be true and they were only ever acting out of a sense of obligation to his parents. After the unhappiness Estella had just revealed to her father, Harry fully anticipated Sirius to pack him off on a bus bound for Surrey first thing in the morning.
END CHAPTER: Changes
NEXT CHAPTER: Harder Than it Looks
