AN: Wow, this is a very depressing chapter. It was incredibly hard to write. Please don't hate me for what happens in this chapter, though I don't blame you because I hate myself for writing it.

Disclaimer: I like bondage. :) And when I tie my hanyou up he says he belongs to me. But in truth I really don't own him or like bondage. Rumiko Takahashi owns him.

Warning: Graphic situations are to follow. Physical, sexual, and verbal abuse mostly. You've been warned. It isn't pretty. This is the only chapter with this type of detailed description of her abuse. After this chapter, everything gets better.

Sex and Drugs

Chapter 12: Return

Part III: Daddy Dearest, We Regress; Kagome's Courage

Why was she there? Why did she come back? Why couldn't she have just left Sango's dojo and gone someplace else? These were just a few of the myriad of questions running through her head. They had been so often repeated in just a few hours that even her weary, sleep deprived mind chose not to answer them.

Lying before her was a massive concrete staircase leading up to a shrine, the shrine she had grown up in. It was the same shrine that held so many wonderful memories of her mother, now extinguished and replaced by the not-so-fond memories of abuse. Kagome had come to terms with the fact that she had been abused... abused relentlessly for years by her caregiver, her protector… her own flesh and blood.

It was a deep betrayal that stabbed at her painfully in the chest, right between her breasts. There was a scar there, and now that she once again faced her past that scar was agonizingly slowly being ripped open. And now that she had begun to heal and feel again, the pain was ten times worse.

Kagome eyed the stairs, regretting that she had come, but knowing it was the only way to protect her friends. Sometimes one had to make personal sacrifices for the happiness of others. Or so she told herself.

But no matter how many times she tried convincing herself that this was for the best there was a part of her that knew she would die if she walked up those stairs. Her father wouldn't murder her, but he would take away her soul, her will to live, the will to live she hadn't known existed until little more than a month ago when she ran to Miroku for help.

If she walked up those stairs, there would be no turning back. If she walked up those stairs she would be condemning herself to years upon years of endless torture. If she walked up those stairs she would die of despair.

Kagome raised her foot and placed it on the step, and then moved the other foot on the step above it. Courageously she made her way up the hundred and two steps, not looking back, but fearing what was waiting for her just through that top gate.

As she climbed her mind screamed for her to stop. She was in turmoil but couldn't help but smile humorlessly at her situation. The gods mock me, Kagome thought. They had allowed her to escape. They had prevented any harm from coming to her during her plight through the darkest part of Tokyo. They had even allowed her to meet and fall in love with the promiscuous hanyou. But then they snatched that freedom from me. They took it all away the day that Kikyou had come for a visit. Why?

The top of the steps were very near now, and her fear grew tremendously as the top of the house roof came into view. Her heart began thudding painfully in her chest when she saw the windows. And she trembled violently at the top of the stairs as her eyes locked on the front door.

There was no turning back, only forward.

The wind blew against her back as if urging her towards the front door. And as though her body had a mind of its own, she trudged down the concrete path that was her past and into her bleak future. She had been left alone when her mother died. Sadly, she realized that she was meant to be alone for the rest of her life.

Without realizing it Kagome found herself at the front door and raised her hand to knock but then stopped. On the other side there was fumbling and the click of an unlocking doorknob. Kagome lowered her gaze as she always did when confronted with her father.

As the door slowly opened with a squeak a tall man with dark hair, broad shoulders, and a beer belly filled the doorway. Kagome could feel his gaze boring into her and she tightly shut her eyes, willing for everything to just disappear.

"Look at me, girl." He growled out vehemently.

Kagome complied with much reluctance and stared into the same eyes that she inherited. However, unlike Kagome's eyes, his eyes were cold, unforgiving, and merciless. Frightened, Kagome looked away.

"I didn't tell you to look away, insolent bitch." He said without a second thought.

"S-Sorry, father." Kagome choked out, trying to hide the quaver in her voice without success.

"I didn't give you permission to speak, either!" His mouth twisted into wicked grin. With a sharp grab of her arm he dragged her into the room and threw her onto the floor.

Kagome's head cracked against the stair and she saw stars. Just like old times, she thought painfully.

"You've been gone a while, whore. It hasn't been the same here without you to… amuse me." He chuckled. Kagome didn't even try to hide her gag at his reference. "But now that you're back I'll be making sure you don't leave again. Tonight we celebrate your return. I've even gone out and bought my favorite drink in your honor!"

Kagome inwardly groaned, and briefly wondered how he had known she was coming back. His favorite drink was 150 proof, and he usually drank enough to fell a small elephant. Tonight would be bad. She just wished he would pass out before anything too bad happened.

"But that still leaves your punishment for leaving in the first place." He scratched his chin pretending to think up a suitable punishment. His face lit up like a lightbulb as if he had just thought of the perfect solution. "Come with me." He demanded. Kagome felt him take her bag from her and throw it across the room. He then bent down, grabbed her upper arm and forcefully dragged her into the hallway, up the stairs, and into his bedroom.

"Take off your shirt and lay face-down on the bed." He said while staring at her.

Kagome shook her head, eyes wide and staring at the floor. She willed herself not to cry. She would not cry.

"Disobedient bitch!" His face contorted and with a swift motion he backhanded her. She fell to the floor with a thud, her hands immediately going to her aching jaw. She refused to cry out in pain, knowing that would earn her another smack.

"I said take off your shirt and lay face-down on the bed!" He roared maddeningly, spittle dripping from the corner of his mouth.

With shaky knees Kagome stood and quickly took off her shirt and tried covering herself. This seemed to be the wrong thing to do as he growled and backhanded her again, across her shoulder this time, and onto the bed. Kagome quickly scrambled onto the bed further and hid her face in the comforter. She stayed still and waited for her punishment, every muscle in her body tense.

There was sound in the background. A closet door opened and then shuffling through clothes and boxes. The closet was soon closed and she heard her father chuckle, and then the snap of a leather belt.

She felt his frightening presence looming over her and mentally and physically tried to prepare herself for the blows to come. Nothing she could have done, however, would have prevented the intense pain that came soon after the loud 'whoosh' of the belt cutting through the air.

SLAP

Kagome's body convulsed in pain as the thick leather belt came in contact with her skin. But still she did not cry out.

SLAP

Again the belt came into contact with her skin and left a large angry red welt in its wake. Again and again she endured this torture until her head grew dizzy and her back begin to grow numb from the constant abuse. As the belt continued to punish her skin Kagome's eyes stayed open and were seemingly devoid of feeling, only a tear in the corner of her eye, running down her nose and into the comforter, showed her pain.

She stared at the window across the room. It was fuzzy. Her vision was fuzzy. Her mind was slipping. But before the much welcomed blackness of unconsciousness overtook her she saw her mother sitting at the window in a rocking chair sewing. There was a small smile, her lips gently curved into the little smile she always wore when she was happy. She hummed a serene tune and paused her sewing to enjoy the cool spring breeze that came through the window.

And then her mother was no more as Kagome fainted.

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"Of all the stupid things!" Inuyasha snarled. "Are you sure you don't have a fucking clue where she lives, asshole!" He rounded on his friend sitting at the kitchen table.

"Don't call him an asshole, Inuyasha! And don't dare make the mistake of thinking we don't care about her! Miroku would have told you by now if he knew where she lived!" Sango stepped up and got into the pissed hanyou's face. "This isn't any more his fault than ours, Inuyasha!"

"KEH!" Inuyasha slammed his fist down on one of the chairs, destroying it instantly. Splinters flew across the floor. "Well then what the fuck do you suppose we do!"

"We could call the authorities again." Sango suggested, knowing that the police would be of no help.

"If it didn't work the first time, dearest Sango, it won't work now. Without credible evidence or even an address the most they can do at this point is start from scratch and search every shrine in Tokyo. Plus, because we reported her as missing what they are searching for is a missing person, not someone whose life is at stake due to an abusive father. Domestic child abuse and missing people are two totally different cases." Miroku paused thoughtfully. "The authorities will be of little help at the moment."

"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

"Shut up, Inuyasha! Your yelling is not helping! In fact, you've been of no help at all! You were with her when she snuck out! If you're the powerful hanyou you always claim to be then why didn't your super hearing wake you up and tell you something was amiss!" Sango clenched her hands and stared accusingly at the hanyou.

"Don't you fucking blame this on me, bitch!"

"STOP IT! Both of you! You two are giving me a headache!" Miroku rubbed his temples in small circles. "Blaming and screaming at each other is getting us no where. Inuyasha, sit down and calm yourself before you stroke out. Sango, dearest, you had better do the same. I don't want to witness an attempted murder on my friend, no matter how richly he may deserve it at the moment."

"OI! You're supposed to be on my side, lech!"

Both Inuyasha and Sango angrily seated themselves in the two remaining chairs. They both crossed their legs and arms and refused to look at each other. The three of them were quiet for a long time, all trying to devise a way to help their new friend.

"Isn't there anything that may be of any help, Miroku? Anything at all?" Sango asked, desperately wishing she had gotten to know Kagome better in the short time they had been together.

"I don't know!" Miroku laughed humorlessly. "I feel so useless! She's been one of my best friends for years and I can't even tell you in what part of Tokyo she lives in!"

"Well can't we just go to every fucking shrine?" Inuyasha asked, still pissed off beyond reason.

"There's almost 130 million people living in Tokyo, Inuyasha! Imagine how many shrines we would have to visit!" Miroku replied.

"Wait, Miroku. Didn't you tell me she ran away from home?" Sango started.

"Yes…" Miroku furrowed his brows, trying to understand what Sango was getting at.

"Well, if she ran from home that must mean she couldn't have gotten too far on foot, right?" Sango asked, eyes brightening with renewed hope.

"Well, I guess so, but we have no idea in which direction she ran from or anything."

"Oi, bouzo. You're as dense at shit! Even I'm catching on to what Sango is saying!" Inuyasha growled. Miroku rolled his eyes. "Do you remember where you picked her up when she called? Because if you do then we just check all the fucking shrines within, say, a 10 mile radius or some shit like that."

"Wow, Inuyasha. I'm impressed, you really did catch on!" Sango said in shock.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" He said defensively. "ANYWAY! Well, bouzo? Do you remember?"

"It was in a bad area, that's really all I remember."

"Well then how the hell did you find her the first time?" Inuyasha growled. "Wait, didn't you pick her up near a strip-club? I called her a prostitute the next morning because you went there."

"Oh I bet she just loved that!" Sango muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up! Wasn't it called Betty Boop's, or the Bunny Hop, or Bunny Boop's Joint, or--"

"OH! You mean Bunny's Best Hang-Out! Yeah, I love that place!" Miroku suddenly chimed.

FWAP!

"You pervert! How do you know of a sleezy place like Bunny's Best Hang-Out!" Miroku nursed the new bump on his head as Sango stretched her arm and glared at him.

"A friend…uh…got drunk there and – coughcough – he needed to be…uh…picked up…yeah!"

"Isn't that the same fucking excuse you gave me that night, Miroku?" Inuyasha grinned as Sango's annoyed glare turned homicidal.

"Aren't we getting off the topic a little!" Miroku said quickly before he had another bump on his head. "The point is that if search for shrines around that area we should be able to find her!"

"So let's leave, already!" Impatiently, Inuyasha stood up and headed towards the door.

"We just need to make a brief stop at a convenience store for a phone book. They will have the addresses to the shrines so we won't be looking around aimlessly for them." Sango said.

"What a splendid plan, Sango dearest! Already I was concocting the same plan!"

"Riiiiight. Let's go!"

The three of them were off in a hurry, knowing that every second spent wasted was a second that couldn't be spared. Kagome had almost a day's lead and was surely at her shrine by now, suffering god knows what.

Be strong, Kagome! I'm coming! Inuyasha thought desperately. He chose to run along the side of the road, next to the car that Miroku and Sango were in. It eased some of the tension in his shoulders, but it did nothing to alleviate the guilt and emptiness inside as he thought of Kagome. He was worried for her. And he missed her.

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"Kagome! Are you listening to me?" Eri, one of Kagome's friends since childhood asked. She giggled at the apparent confusion on her face. Kagome smiled apologetically and together they walked down the street towards WacDonald's. It was one of the things they did together on a regular basis right after school let out. It was something Kagome looked forward to every day. Not only would she get to spend time with her friend, but she wouldn't be at home fearing for her life.

"Sorry, Eri. I had something on my mind. What did you say?"

"I asked why you wore your sweater today when it's eighty degrees out. Aren't you hot? Why don't you take it off?" Kagome was about to answer when a friend of theirs shouted out their names from behind. Turning around they spotted Ayumi running towards them, trying to catch up. However, the combination of a strong wind and heavy briefcase made it difficult. She had to stop every few feet to rearrange her uniform skirt.

"Eri! Kagome! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Ayumi said between pants when she had finally caught up. "I was talking to a couple people after the bell and we thought it would be awesome to have a party soon! We realized that your sixteenth birthday was coming up, Kagome, and decided it would be the perfect excuse to have one!"

Kagome frowned. There was no way her father would let her out of the house on her sixteenth birthday. He probably has… other… celebrations planned for that evening, Kagome thought grimly.

"I dunno, Ayumi. There might be a family only celebration at my house then."

"That's okay! Family celebrations don't usually last all night so just come by afterwards! The party won't really get started until around 10 or so anyway."

Kagome briefly wondered if she could sneak out of the house provided her father had drunk enough that he was sure to be passed out for the evening. "I'll try to make it, but no promises."

"Excellent! By the way, why are you wearing your sweater? It's hot out!" Ayumi asked.

"I'm not feeling too well. I might have a fever." Kagome said calmly. It was a well rehearsed excuse that she used often, but in truth she wore her sweater to cover the bruises or burns her father inflicted upon her during her punishments.

"You should probably head home then and lay down. Go on, you won't be missing much. Go get some rest." Eri seemed concerned for Kagome's health. For as far back as she could remember Kagome had been a sickly girl.

"Yeah…. I probably should get home." Kagome, however, had no intention of returning home just yet. Instead, as she parted ways with her friends, she walked up and down the streets of Tokyo alone wondering what sort of punishment she would endure that evening for not returning home right after school.

With a jerk Kagome woke from her dream, all of her pain returning instantly. She groaned loudly and with a shaking hand reached around to touch the skin on her back. Something crusty met her fingertips and when she put her hand towards her face to see what it was she realized without surprise that it was dried blood.

My mouth feels dry, Kagome thought. Had she screamed? She couldn't remember. In fact, she couldn't remember much of anything that had taken place since she walked through the door.

Kagome tried standing, seeing as she was sprawled on her bedroom floor, but she felt the muscles in her shoulder and upper arm spasm, sending another wave of pain coursing through her battered body. She let out a whimper and squeezed her eyes shut until the pain subsided a few moments later.

Looking around the room she found everything in shambles. While she was away it was apparent her father decided to redecorate the place by tearing wallpaper from the walls, ripping clothes apart, and slashing her mattress in multiple places. The entire room reeked of hard liquor and there were suspicious stains on the carpeting. Kagome noticed her window sported a shiny silver padlock with an electronic number system instead of a metal key. The actual window itself had been replaced with shatterproof glass as she discovered by reading the label in the corner.

Is it possible for me to guess the correct number on the lock? She wondered. Crawling to the window, Kagome grimaced as pain wracked her body with each muscle she moved. Upon inspection her hopes were dashed to ribbons. The correct number to open the lock required 5 numbers. There were 10 numbers to choose from, 0 – 9. Doing the math quickly in her head she determined that 100,000 possible combinations existed. There was no way to open the lock.

Kagome scanned the room for something, anything that could break the glass. Unfortunately, her father had planned everything and removed everything hard and anything sharp. She looked at the door next. There were no visible locks, but the little doggie flap at the base of the door told her all she needed to know. The door was locked tight. Whatever food her father would give her would be slipped through the flap.

She was in trouble. She was cornered and in the mercy of the heartless man who had made her life a living hell. What was a girl in pain to do? She cried.

She stayed in the same spot in her room for hours. She didn't know what time it was. She had no clue how much time had passed. She didn't know what time she had come to, seeing as it had been dark outside.

The minutes ticked by slowly but she content to wait in the darkness of her room. Off and on she dozed, too fearful to actually fall asleep. Graphic images kept popping into her dreams, reminding her of where she was.

But soon the shattering of glass on the kitchen floor roused her from her restless doze and all her muscles tensed as she listened closely, waiting for any indication that he might be on his way.

To her horror he was. She heard a violent string of slurred curses and the shuffling of feet up the stairs. Twice he stumbled. She wished he had fallen. After dragging herself to the opposite side of her bed she covered her ears with the palm of her hands repeating desperate pleas over and over while rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Kao-me…!"

Kagome squeezed her eyes shut. He was at her door, banging on the wood with a fist repeating her name in an angry drunken rage.

"Kao-me! Open da dwoor!" He pounded harder, angry that he couldn't get in. He started yelling, his words becoming increasingly slurred. Kagome could mentally picture him holding a bottle of vodka taking a swig in between yelling and pounding.

"Kami, please make him go away! Make him go away!" She pleaded quietly, still rocking back and forth on her heels

"KAO-ME!" He yelled louder still. "YEH BE'ER OPEN DA FUCKIN' DWOOR! OPEN DA FUCKIN' DWOOR!" The pounding got louder and he became angrier and more frustrated as he tried jiggling the handle, not understanding that it was locked. "OPEN DA FUCKIN' DWOOR!"

"Go away… please just go away… go away go away go away go away… Kami, help me!" Kagome chanted.

"Where's da fuckin' key? Where'd'I put it?" The pounding stopped as he searched his pockets. "HA! Go'it! Whoopsies! Slipp'ry sona bitch!" Kagome heard the key fall to the floor and prayed that he was too drunk to see properly. There was a loud thump as something hit the door and then a curse. She imagined him hitting his head trying to bend down.

Kagome heard the fumbling of the key against the lock and soon the door was kicked open. A bright light shined into the room from within the hall, illuminating the spot in which she had tried to hide in.

Fear. Raw fear. This was the part she feared most. Her father clumsily made his way over to her, his eyes squinting… trying to focus on her. After grabbing to her left (no doubt seeing double) he managed to grab some of her hair.

Kagome let out a yell when he pulled her hair hard. He dragged her up to her feet and attempted to throw her across the room but succeeded in throwing her only a few feet and losing balance himself. He stumbled and ended up falling down and landing half-on and half-off her.

"Kao-me… I miss'd you…" He slurred, trying to get on her fully.

But she struggled. She thrashed about, her arms trying to hit every part of him possible, her knees bending, attempting to knee him in the groin. But he was heavy, and his weight prevented much movement.

"NO! GET OFF ME!" She cried out.

His lips were on her neck and she dry-heaved, having eaten nothing all day. The sour taste of bile rose in her throat and she attempted to shove her palm into his neck. At once he grabbed her wrist and pinned it above her neck.

He leaned down quickly and Kagome quickly turned her head, narrowly missed being kissed… or rather slobbered on. Her ear felt wet after he had finished. She doubted he realized what he had just tried kissing.

"Whas dat?" All movement ceased as he tried focusing on a dark spot on her neck.

Kagome froze, realizing too late what it must be. A hickey from Inuyasha.

"WHA THE FUCK IS DAT, BITCH!" He shouted in her ear. All his weight was lifted off her at once, and she watched – frozen from fear – as he pulled something from his pocket. A lighter.

"YOU FUCKIN' SLUT! WHORE! YUR MINE! YA HEAR!" He lit the lighter and let it burn a few moments before bringing it down to her neck.

"What are you doing! Stop it! What are you doing!" She screamed. The hot lighter burned her skin over the hickey, marring the flesh.

When he had finished he tossed the used lighter aside and dragged Kagome to her feet once more. Out of the room, he dragged her by her hair close to the scalp, and up another set of stairs towards the attic. Once there he tossed her into a small closet and locked the door. Then he left, stumbling all the way down the stairs.

Kagome let out a sigh, finally feeling relatively safe. Last time she was locked in this closet he had forgotten about her for almost two days. The few times before that he had left her in there for hours at a time.

After checking out her new wound she curled into a ball on the floor and passed out, thoroughly exhausted.

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"This is it?"

"Yes. This is exactly where I found her almost two months ago." Miroku answered.

"Gods, what an awful part of Tokyo! Poor Kagome!"

The three of them, Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku, stood on the corner of a street. The place was filthy. And it wasn't just dirt and grime. It was the filth of life.

"So what's the plan, Miroku?" Sango inquired.

"What the fuck do we need a plan for? We split up and we go find her! How hard is that!" Inuyasha growled.

"I agree. Inuyasha, since you can search faster why don't you head north. There are more shrines out that way. Sango and I'll head south of here. Agreed?"

Inuyasha agreed curtly and soon the three of them began searching. It was the middle of the night, but they searched anyway. Time didn't matter when a close friend was in danger.

On the way to Tokyo Miroku had called the authorities again to tell them they had an idea as to what part of Tokyo Kagome's shrine was in. They had told Miroku they would handle the situation and commanded them to cease their search. Miroku had agreed but as soon as they hung up the three of them parted ways.

All three of them prayed Kagome was okay.

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AN: For those of you wanting to correct me for doing the math incorrectly… DON'T. Because it isn't wrong. The answer is not 5 x 10 as many of you would think. In order to get the right answer you would have to multiply 10 together 5 times. Meaning… 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 which 100,000. Why? Because there are 5 spaces in the combination. There are 10 possible choices to choose from (#s 0 -9 ) for each individual space in the combination. Make sense? I hope so.

OOOOOOH, I've got a twist for the end that you wouldn't BELIEVE! I can't wait to actually write it all out! But alas, that won't be for another chapter or two! WEE! I hope you don't all hate me too much. :)