Chapter 47: The Breakdown

Takes place when Eret is on a fishing trip with his dad after the Small Bump chapters. Ruffnut and Tuffnut are over to keep Becky company.

(Tuffnut's POV)

It started with the smallest cramp. It's been a couple of weeks since Becky and Eret suffered a miscarriage. Becky, our poor, poor sister, is still dealing with the after-effects, like cramping and spotting.

So much so, she's been having more and more panic attacks lately. And I'm the only one who can help her through them. Eret was reluctant to go on the fishing trip with his father, but Becky was insistent that he go, reassuring him that she would be just fine.

She collapses from her chair in the Nordisk's living room, another panic attack forming. I immediately rush over to her.

"Tuffnut, I can't…I can't do this…s…s…s."

"Shhh. Focus on my voice, sis. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Focus. Focus on me. I've got you. You're going to make it out of this." I whisper to my adoptive sister.

"Can I hold you?" Becky gives me the slightest of nods, and I pull her close.

"You're okay. You're okay. Just focus on my voice." I gently place Becky's head on my chest so she can feel my breathing and hear my steady heartbeat.

We hear the front door opening and Ruffnut rushes to get it.

She immediately closes it behind her. I suspect it was Eret.

(Ruffnut's POV)

"You weren't supposed to be home for a few days!" I tell my brother-in-law.

"What's going on? Is Becky alright?"

"She'll be fine. She's just having another panic attack."

Eret moves to go inside, but I stop him.

"Tuffnut's got this under control."

"Let me get to my wife, Ruffnut."

"Alright, alright."

We walk back into the house to find Becky shakily sobbing and Tuffnut gently rocking her.

Eret walks toward his wife, wanting to comfort her himself, but, once again, I stop him.

"Let Tuffnut handle this. She just needs her brother for right now." I whisper to Eret, sternly.

"I feel so helpless not being able to do anything to help her."

"I know you do. So do I. But I trust Tuffnut. He's helped her before and he can do it again."

"You seriously trust Tuffnut?"

"He may be a knucklehead and an idiot of a brother, but he's still my brother, and I trust him with my life, and Becky's life, too. And you should trust him, too. Who took her in all those years ago when no one else would?"

"You and Tuffnut did."

"Exactly my point, Eret. Sometimes she just needs her adoptive siblings to be there for her."

"You do have a point."

"Thanks."

"Ruffnut, c'mere." I walk over to my brother, who gently passes Becky over to me.

"She needs you."

I begin to hum an old lullaby Mom used to sing to the three of us – mainly Becky, because of her night terrors – that I now have memorized.

A few minutes pass, and Becky has calmed down. I begin to rock my sister to sleep, like Mom, Tuffnut and I used to do when Becky had night terrors and she needed help going back to sleep.

I pass her over to Eret so he can put her in bed. He does so, and he comes back downstairs and sits with us for a while.

"Is this what it's like to have a child? Just constant calm downs?"

"You're asking the wrong people, Eret. But don't say a word against our sister. She's been through enough, and she doesn't need her own husband complaining about her." I say.

"Eret, Becky isn't a child. She's gone through significant and horrible trauma. Excuse her if she needs familial affection sometimes." Tuffnut says. I can tell my twin is also irritated at Eret.

"She needs us. We've known her longer than you have." I say.

"It's the quality of the relationship, Ruffnut, not the quantity."

"Who was the first person Becky told about her trauma with Drago?!" I exclaim.

"You were. She didn't tell me because she felt ashamed. She felt that I would leave her."

"And you don't think she felt ashamed when she told Ruffnut?" Tuffnut asks.

"Becky was terrified that she was going to lose me, the only sister she's ever known. I am terrified every single day that we're going to lose her in some way, either by suicide or by an enemy's hands."

Eret gets up and walks over to me.

"And you don't think I'm as equally terrified of losing her? She's my wife, for Thor's sake."

"She was our sister before she was your wife!" Tuffnut says.

"Who thought her dead for three years before Hiccup told you she was still alive?"

"HEY!" We turn and see Becky walking down the stairs, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Love, whatever you heard, they started it."

"Oh, I heard plenty, Eret William Nordisk, Jr.. How dare you speak about me that way?! I am not a child! Excuse me for needing my siblings!"

"Drago…Drago should've killed you when he killed your son."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Becky runs out the door, sobbing.

"You have no idea what you've done." Tuffnut says. He gets up and I follow him as we run out the door, calling for our sister.

(Hiccup's POV)

I spot Becky running for the Cove and I stop her along the way. She's clearly upset about something.

"Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. What's going on? Talk to me, Becky."

"Eret…called me a child because of my trauma and told me D-Drago should've killed me when he killed my son."

I've never known Becky to lie about her trauma, or anything related to it.

"Oh, sweetheart. I am so so sorry. Come here."

I wrap my arms around her and she begins to sob again.

"Hiccup!" I look up and see Astrid.

"Is she alright?" She asks, kneeling in front of us.

"No. Eret called her a child because of her trauma and told her that Drago should've killed her when he killed her son."

"He did what?" Astrid grips her axe.

"Don't do anything you'll regret, Astrid. Last time you used that against someone, they ended up getting traumatized over the course of three years."

"Someone needs to teach that jerk a lesson."

"I know. Let's focus on getting Becky calmed down first, alright? Then we can deal with Eret."

Ruffnut and Tuffnut approach us, their parents trailing behind them.

"We can take her, chief." Lily Thorston tells me. I pass a sobbing Becky over to her mother, but she clings to me.

"Sweetie, it's okay. It's okay. Go to your Mama." Becky releases me and starts clinging to Lily.

"Shhh. I'm here, baby girl. Mama's right here."

"Now, where's Eret?" Frank asks.

"Don't do anything you'll regret, Frank. Like it or not, Becky may still need him."

"After he hurt my little girl? Not a chance in Hel."

"Eret could be grieving his and Becky's baby…in his own way." Astrid says.

"But taking it out on his own wife? Astrid, have we ever known Eret to take anything out on Becky?" I ask.

"No. But if she forgives him and he hurts her again…she may…I hate to say it, but she may try to kill herself again. And that's not what any of us want for her."

"I'll talk to him. See what he has to say. In the meantime, Lily, Frank, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, take Becky home and take care of her. I'll see what's up with Eret." I say.

I head over to the Nordisk's house and knock on the door.

"Eret, like it or not, we need to talk about this. You severely hurt your wife. I'm sure you're grieving your baby, too, but taking it out on Becky is unacceptable. Eret?" I open the door to find Eret cutting himself.

"Whoa. Easy. Put the knife down."

"Why did I say that to her? My wife doesn't deserve someone like me. Someone who takes out his grief on her."

"I know. I know. Look, Eret, I know you're hurting right now, but, please. Let's talk about this."

"I'm done talking."

I manage to wrestle the knife out of Eret's hands before he does anything drastic.

"Hiccup, please. I need to explain myself to her."

"You can do that. After you explain it to me. Why did you say the things that you did? You do know that Becky has suicidal tendencies, don't you? Trust me, Eret, I know what it's like to almost lose her."

"I just…I blame myself for the miscarriage."

"So you took your self-blame out on Becky?"

"I wasn't meaning to. I said some things that I shouldn't have, and…and now I've lost her."

"You haven't lost her, Eret. You just need to talk to her. Tell her what you're feeling. Maybe go to a specialist that can help you deal with your anger and grief."

"But what if she hates me?"

"It would take some strong actions for Becky to hate anyone."

"Is that a yes?"

"Um…yes."

"So she does hate me?"

"We don't know that for sure, Eret. Let's go over to the Thorston's and see if we can talk it out with her."

Eret and I walk over to the Thorston's.

This isn't going to be easy, but if Eret truly loves Becky, they can get through it.

"Stay away from our sister. You've done enough damage." Ruffnut tells Eret.

"I just want to talk to her."

"RUFFNUT!" The three of us run upstairs to see it's Tuffnut who had called us.

He's cradling an unconscious Becky in his arms, her wrists bleeding.

"You almost killed her. You almost killed my and Ruffnut's sister." Tuffnut says, looking at Eret with hatred in his eyes, in addition to his tears.

"Tuff, give her to me. I know what to do." Tuffnut passes Becky over to Ruffnut.

"Please don't do this, sis. We need you. Please come back to us."

Becky's eyes open, but she's weak.

"R-Ruff…"

"Shhh. Don't speak, sis. You're going to be okay."

Eret walks over to them, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Please, let me see her."

"You're the reason she did this."

"I know that, Ruffnut. Please, let me apologize to her."

"Now's not the time for that, Eret. We need to get her to Gothi."

I glance over and see my mom has joined us.

With Tuffnut carrying his adoptive sister, we head to Gothi's.

It's a while before Becky fully regains consciousness.

"Hey. You doing okay, baby girl?" Lily asks her.

"How could I have been so stupid, Mama?"

"You were hurting, because of Eret."

"Can I talk to him?"

We glance at Eret, who's sitting silently in the corner.

Eret kneels next to the bed where his wife lay.

"My love, I am so so so sorry for what I said. I never should've called you a child, or told you that Drago should've killed you when he killed our son."

"I can't…I can't forgive you, Eret. Not yet."

"I understand."

"You both need to talk to someone. To let go of your grief and anger." I say.

Becky nods in agreement.

"I agree." Eret says.

(Tuffnut's POV)

A few days pass, and Becky is able to go home. She's staying with us for the time being, but Eret's sister, Amalie, is staying with Eret to keep an eye on him.

I can tell my adoptive sister misses her husband dearly.

It's all Ruff and I can do to not give in and let her see him before she's ready to see him again.

Becky sits with us during dinner when we eat in the Great Hall, and Eret sits with his sister at a separate table. I know my adoptive sister is miserable without Eret, but they need some time apart, especially after what Eret said about and to Becky.

I drop my adoptive sister off at the specialist's a few days later, so she and Eret can talk things out. Ruffnut is accompanying Becky and Amalie is accompanying Eret.

(Eret's POV)

"So, let's start. It's not a secret that you said some pretty vicious things to and about Becky, Eret."

"I know. I said them because I was grieving our unborn child. And I didn't know how else to express my grief."

"And you think taking out our grief on your wife was a good idea?"

"No. But, like I said, I didn't know how else to express my grief."

"Eret, it seems to me that you need a healthy alternative to emotionally abusing your wife."

"Like what?"

"Painting, whittling, throwing an axe at trees. Something, anything that can help rather than hurt. Now, Becky, what are you feeling right now?"

"He really hurt me. I thought true love wasn't supposed to hurt."

"Love can hurt sometimes, true love or otherwise."

"I just can't forgive him yet. He said some things that really hurt me. My trauma is not my fault! And my son's death is not my fault! Needing my siblings is not my fault! So I need my siblings sometimes. That's not a bad thing, right?"

"No, it's not. It seems that you, too, might need a healthy outlet. I heard you're very creative."

"She, um, did a beautiful portrait of me and my mother on Becky's and my wedding day."

"Paint whatever you'd like. I'll provide you with the materials myself. Now, Eret, have you thought about how you'd like to get your anger out in a healthy way?"

"I think…I think throwing a sword at a tree would be a good alternative."

"Very good. Now, I want you two to come back next week, and I'd like to hear your progress."

The next week passes by quite quickly, and Becky still remains with her adoptive family for the time being.

Can't say I blame her.

We head back to the specialist, without Ruffnut and without Amalie this time.

We sit on opposite ends of the room, like we did the first time.

"Eret, I heard you attacked one of the trees that was overcome with vines."

"I did. It took a couple of hours to clear the vines with my sword, but I managed to do it."

"Very good. Becky, I assume you've brought your newest painting?"

"I did. I had to take a couple of breaks while painting it."

"That's fine. Breaks are good."

Becky turns the painting to show the specialist and Eret.

"Wow. That's really something. Mind if I get a closer look?" I ask.

"Not at all."

I walk over to the painting and kneel before it. It's got all sorts of colors, and it's got blue and yellow bits in the middle, and it reminds me of a flame.

"It's beautiful, love." I say, despite it having been over a week since I called her that.

"Thank you, Eret."

"You're welcome."

"Actually, I have surprise for you." I go outside for a moment and bring in a bouquet of wildflowers (not including blue Oleanders), and present them to…to…to my wife.

"Oh, Eret. They're beautiful. Thank you. Now, this doesn't have anything to do with getting back on my good graces, does it?"

"Partially, yes. It's also because I love you. And I'm wishing that I hadn't said the things I said to you. I know it'll be a while before you'll forgive me, and I seriously don't blame you, but I hope that we can eventually live together again."

"That seems like a reasonable request."

When we leave the specialist's, I take my wife's hand and we disappear into the woods.

I'm gentle with her, and we take it slow at first.

She doesn't immediately forgive me afterwards, and I don't blame her.

But I know that she's been hurt severely by me.

I will probably never forgive myself for what I said to and about her.

Soon, Becky moves back in with me. But we've been forever changed by what occurred.

And I've been forever trying to prove how sorry I am and how much I love her.