Distance.
T: Alternate version of the chapter as, aparently, the first one got cut off!
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Subaru is tidying his bed when he steps into the room, this activity, as well as the determination on his face, as a clear sign that his time in the hospital has come to an end.
"It seems I have timed today's visit perfectly."
"Indeed you have, for now I can have a little company on the journey home."
It takes a few moments to sign the other out, by which point he is hungry enough to enquire,
"Might we take a slight detour? I had hoped to grab a little something to eat while I was visiting you…"
"There is a quiet restraint just a little from here and it is on the way back to my apartment, thus there is no need for a true detour."
"Thank you, Subaru."
They sit a while in silence once their food had been ordered, Kamui fearful still of the extent of the hurt of his new 'goal' and Subaru allowing the younger boy time to gather his thoughts.
Eventually Kamui can stand the hush no longer and, focusing his attention onto his food, he enquires,
"Did you mean what you said in the hospital, that I could ask you anything of your past?"
"I would not have said it if I did not mean it."
"Then I would hear a little more of your sister…of who she was and of what power she held."
"Neesan…neesan was always the more outgoing; she would often dress herself in outlandish things or make loud statements about things others might keep quiet.
"She believed, passionately, in love, in its power to 'make everything right'. She also believed in me…in the kindness and the compassion that were once mine to claim." The other is clearly upset by the topic of conversation and yet, after a moments pause, he continues, "She always had a 'knack' for seeing things you had want to hide or that you were as yet ignorant of.
"Neesan knew of my…care…for Seishiro-san before I did and she was constantly pushing us together in the hopes of making me see that care and that with someone I truly wished to protect in my life, I might begin to care more about my own welfare.
"Apart from that 'knack', however, she was powerless and thus Obaachan paid her only the smallest of courtesies while she lived."
He was assured that the 'other Kamui' had not been playing with him when he had mentioned, 'the final wish of Sumeragi-san's sister and the spell tied to that wish,' and yet Subaru is also being truthful in his assessment of his sister's powers.
He knows that he should mention the confrontation with Fuuma to the Onmyoji and yet…
…yet in doing as such he would have to, at last, expose Seishiro's amnesia to the other.
No matter how close he has grown to the Sakurazuka, or how implicitly he now trusts the other, he does not wish to expose his 'situation' to the Sumeragi…
…not yet, at least.
"Now that you look back on the 'Year', on how the Sakurazukamori acted around you, can you see the faults in his illusion?"
"No, for he went to great pains to hide his true nature from me until the very end."
"I see." He had hoped that Subaru might inform him that there were, indeed, flaws in the Sakurazuka's performance and that, by doing as such, he might lay to rest the niggling fear present still in his heart…
…might assure him, once and for all, that he had not given his faith to the Sakurazuka blindly.
"Kamui, might I ask why you wish to know such a thing? Always before you have asked something that is, at least in part, relevant to myself and yet this…"
"It is relevant to me, Subaru…I had hoped that, by now, you might have been able to let him go a little."
"He has no more hold on me…not that way, at least…for now I can only see the truth of what he is."
"You still care for him, don't you?" Subaru tenses and, aware that he is at last closing on the secrets he wishes to expose, he says, "It is childish of me, Subaru, but I want you only to think of me…wish you to love me as I love you."
"Kamui…"
"I know that it is an impossible wish, that you have tied everything of yourself to him and yet…
"I could not help but want it anyway…could not help but want you to stop perusing him before he killed you."
"I am hopeful for such a conclusion."
It is the last thing he had thought to hear and seeing this surprise Subaru says,
"At the conclusion of the 'Year' he had a chance to kill me, a chance he missed only for the intervention of Obaachan.
"The look he had in his eye as he missed that chance was one of distain, as though I was little more in his regard than an ant.
"That look made me wish to be stronger, to become enough of a nuisance to him that he might kill me and that I might, at the end of my time, be with him again."
He knows then that, as he had suspected from the moment Subaru had lost his eye, that he can never have the Onmyoji in his life to the extent that he yearned for.
He is also, finally, assured of what his next step must be and, finally meeting the other's eyes, he enquires,
"Do you recall the fall of the Yanamoto line two months ago?"
"Has it truly been so long? I wonder why the Angles have not continued to press their advantage."
"The 'Other Kamui' has been keeping himself entertained in another manner."
"Has he approached you, Kamui, harmed you in any manner?"
"No, for once he has found another victim."
"Who?"
"When I came to see you the day after the collapse of that Kekkai, I happened upon an interesting predicament, one that I have been keeping to myself both out of uncertainty and, though I am ashamed to admit it, out of selfishness.
"You see an Angel was caught in the quake that followed the Kekkai's collapse."
"Yet why harm one of their own?"
"Apparently that Angle had a wish to forget his past…to build a better life for himself…a wish that the earthquake granted him."
"Then you have been asking me these things in order to aid in the restoration of that Angel's memories? Because it was Seishiro-san who was 'harmed' in the quake?"
"Yes."
There is a long moment of silence after that and he is painfully aware of the distress on the other's face…distress that he had caused and that he wished, so very desperately, to erase,
"Subaru…"
"Would you take me to see him?" The other enquires, the words cutting across his attempt to alleviate a little of his guilt.
"Are you certain?"
"You would not have told me this thing unless you believed, with your whole heart, in the truth of his condition and thus, as there is little risk attached to simply seeing him…"
"Then if you will follow me."
……………………………………………………………………………….
As they draw within sight of Seishiro's Veterinary surgery he is swept, suddenly, with a wave of bitter sweet nostalgia.
For, if not for the other who walks with him, everything is precisely as it was during the 'Year.
As if sensing the change in his mood Kamui pauses, mid step, and, concern clear in his eyes, he says,
"You do not have to do this."
"No…no it is alright."
It takes a moment for the Shirou to accept the validity of this statement and then, smiling gently, he continues on his path.
He lingers back a little as Kamui knocks on the door, his nerves, as well as his doubt, dousing what little confidence he had had.
"Kamui-kun, what an unexpected surprise." He knows both the voice and the warmth within it well, for this voice, this warmth, had been present always during the 'Year'.
"I wished to introduce you to someone." Kamui remarks as he takes a gentle hold of his wrist and pulls him within arms reach of the other, "Seishiro-san this is…"
"Su…ba…ru…" There is a disbelief clear in the other's voice and, before he is even aware, the Sakurazuka has a hand pressed to his face.
There is a warmth in the other's eyes that had not been there during the 'Year; and that is as proof that, this time, the other is not lying to him.
Smiling brightly he leans forwards and, the others name rolling, lovingly, from his lips, he catches him into a kiss.
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T: Everyone go awwwwww! Kamui confesses in precisely the manner I do, by going off on random tangents and saying everything without saying anything…I'd apologise for this but I like putting my own influence onto him, it makes me feel almost as though he is my character! Note the almost! R+R and I'll hopefully see you tues!
