Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe belongs to JK Rowling and this merely a figment of my imagination. I do not own the characters and I am earning no money off this. Only the plot belongs to me.


Looking down on the road you should be taking,

but there's no turning back. You are where you are now.


1979

Fall

When a part of you dies,

How do you make yourself complete?

Narcissa sat still and let her mother ease the hairbrush easily through her silken hair.

"Lucius must be delighted," Cecilia Black murmured, running a hand down her daughter's hair.

"He is," Narcissa smiled into the mirror. "The mediwitch says that the pregnancy is coming along just fine."

"I'll have the house-elves send tonics and potions over whenever I can," Cecilia said. "Your father sends his regards and so does Bella."

"How's Bella?" Narcissa inquired, the image of her dark haired, olive-skinned and curvaceous sister coming to mind. Bella was always the bossy one- she remembered fondly, the confident one, the one who always stuck for Narcissa.

"The wedding planning is coming along wonderfully, not to worry," Cecilia said, a proud smile adorning her face as she thought about Bellatrix and her upcoming wedding.

"Did Andromeda say-" Narcissa tried boldly, bringing up her oldest sister.

Cecilia slammed the hairbrush down, her hands shaking and her eyes hard as stone. "Do not speak of her," she hissed; her voice trembling with anger.

"Mama," Narcissa whispered. "It has been too long, I miss her. Don't you?"

Cecilia steeled herself, glaring down at her youngest daughter. "Andromeda is no longer part of our family," she said coldly. "You know that, Cissy."

"Mama, what does it feel like to lose a daughter?" Narcissa said softly, her voice a thin silken ribbon that wrapped around her mother, gently but firmly.

Cecilia turned away. "I do not know what you speak of," she said stiffly.

Narcissa rose from her seat, grabbing at her mother's arm, her pale blue eyes running over her mother's face for any sign of emotion. "Mama, she was your daughter," she said quietly.

"I have no daughter that betrays her own family."

"Mama," Narcissa faced her mother head-on, rounding on Cecilia desperately. "Tell what it feels like." Because if one day it happens to me, I want to be prepared.

"It feels like dying inside," Cecilia snapped finally, and rushing out of the room, her skirts rustling in undisguised sorrow.

Narcissa wondered how her sister was doing, as she sank back into the chair slowly.

Andromeda had always been the one their mother doted on the most. Andromeda who was top of year, Head Girl, with her lovely buttermilk hair and laughing eyes, who always knew what to say to make Cecilia smile, Andromeda, who had to leave.

Cecilia had never been the same since.

When you lose a piece of your heart,

What do you feel that hole with?

Lucius placed a protective hand on the side of his wife's hip, smiling proudly.

"Congratulations, Mr Malfoy," Malloy Parkinson rumbled. "Narcissa looks very well indeed."

Lucius swelled with pride. "Tatiana looks fantastic as well."

Tatiana Parkinson blushed and curled her hands over her large tummy. Narcissa pulled her into a hug, beaming.

"It's so nice to see you!" Tatiana squealed. She patted Narcissa's still flat stomach. "How does it feel?"

"Great," Narcissa giggled. "So, have you guys finally decided on a name?" she asked.

Tatiana tossed Malloy a dirty look. "He insists on Pansy if it's a girl," Marla whispered. "Honestly, Pansy? Merlin, it's positively terrible. If it's a girl, I want her to be a Regina. If it's a boy I want a Nicolas."

"Regina is a nice name," Narcissa approved. "But what did Malloy say to that?"

"He insists on Pansy," Tatiana gritted her teeth. "And Frederick if it's a boy- that I can take- but Good Lord, not Pansy, please," Marla sighed.

"Cissy," Lucius called, grinning, beckoning her over.

"Have to run," Narcissa smiled and squeezed Tatiana's hand in goodbye.

Lucius planted a kiss on the side of her face. "What do you feel like having?" he asked, gesturing to the refreshments. "Celery sticks?"

Narcissa screwed up her face. "I hate celery!"

Lucius grinned. "I know, I just heard from Malloy that pregnant women have strange cravings and I thought maybe, this would be one of them," he said sheepishly.

Narcissa laughed. Lucius' hands rounded on her bottom and he leered at her playfully, which made her turn red and her pulse hammer away. She slapped his hands, making him recoil, scowling.

She laughed. "Malloy wants to name his future child Pansy if it's a girl," she said, grinning.

Lucius' jaw fell open. "Pansy?" he repeated incredulously. "What's gotten into him?" he chuckled.

"Yes, Pansy," Narcissa affirmed. "Can you believe it?"

"If our baby's a girl, we'll call her-" Lucius quipped but Narcissa interrupted him quickly, silencing him.

"Andromeda," she said quietly. "If it's a girl, I want her to be called Andromeda."

Lucius pressed a kiss to his wife's forehead. "Andromeda, then, if it's a girl," he promised.

"Andromeda," Narcissa repeated, feeling the name roll across her tongue. "For all the things I've lost."

When you lose something you loved,

Do you look for it again?

"Narcissa, I'll be honest with you," Delia said, setting her wand down.

Narcissa looked worriedly up at the Medi-witch.

"The pregnancy isn't going as well as I would like," Delia said, then added hurriedly. "There's no cause for alarm. But I think that a few more tonics are in order and you should try to avoid any… mood swings. Don't get too angry or agitated," Delia advised. "It might hurt the baby."

Narcissa's chest constricted. "I'll take all the potions, I can't have the baby hurt- I can't, Delia."

Delia nodded sympathetically. "Don't worry, so long as you avoid huge changes in your mood, everything will be just fine."

Narcissa forced a smile. "Thank you, Delia."

Lucius leaned against the door and smiled at her, the edges of his eyes crinkled in exhaustion.

"Hey," she pressed a kiss to his jaw, frowning when she realised he hadn't even shaved and his robes were crumpled. Lucius would never allow himself to come downstairs unless he shaved and looked more than presentable; she thought and looked worriedly up at him.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, his hands stealing over belly.

"I should be asking you that," she said, her eyes searching his face.

Lucius snorted and smoothed his hands over his hair, adjusting the velvet ribbon which held his long hair together. "What could be wrong?" he said off-handedly.

"Tell me," she said firmly.

Her gaze locked with his. "Tell me, Lucius," she said.

Lucius looked over his shoulder, his expression hardening. He locked the door behind him and held up a finger to his lips. "It's the Dark Lord," he said, his voice low and hoarse. "He's been… going mad, it seems, he's getting more and more ambitious."

Narcissa's throat worked furiously as she strained to keep from shouting. "I told you he's insane, Lucius, you never listened," she hissed. "He's going to hurt you, I can't- I can't have you serving him anymore, I can't."

"Cissy, I didn't tell you because I knew you'd react like this," he said angrily. "You think I like doing everything for him, cater to his every whim and fancy? I hate it, but it's not a choice anymore. He wants me to take the Mark tomorrow; he's going to give me tonight to think about it."

"No," she said without thinking. "Once you're marked, you're marked for life."

"Malloy is going," Lucius said wearily. "Tonight, I think… or maybe tomorrow, but soon, very soon."

"What?" Narcissa exclaimed and clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "Tatiana… she couldn't have agreed?"

"He threatened them, Cissy, their baby," Lucius said quietly. "If Malloy doesn't take the Mark, he'll make sure Tatiana loses their baby and she's due next month, it's too dangerous- both for her and the baby. Malloy doesn't have a choice."

"He can't threaten them like this!" Narcissa could hardly keep her voice down. "Their child- of course they had to agree."

"Precisely, Cissy!" Lucius' voice rose a notch. "Precisely, he's not giving any of us a choice!" He fell silent and rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. "I made a mistake, Cissy," he said softly. "I should have listened to you and kept away from him." He laughed- a low and hollow sound that made Narcissa's heart ache. "I had all these ridiculous dreams about making it big, I believed everything that man said."

There was a stagnant silence.

"I was so foolish, now I'm in too deep," he sighed finally.

She wrapped her arms around him, her eyes frozen steel with determination. "We'll get through this," she gritted out through clenched teeth. "I'll make sure of that."

When your life is stolen,

How do you go on living?

"Lucius, have you decided?" Tatiana asked.

Narcissa went to her friend in concern. Tatiana had lost weight, although her stomach still bulged dangerously, her arms were thin and her face gaunt. In the light of day, with make up on, she still looked dangerously pale and sallow.

"Tatiana, you look so ill," she whispered.

Tatiana ignored her best friend and kept her gaze on Lucius. "Don't do it, Lucius," she pleaded. "Malloy got the Mark yesterday night," she said, her voice cracked. "Right after He asked you, He sent for Malloy." She spoke the Dark Lord's name with a capital H, mostly in fear.

"What- is he okay?" Lucius' knuckles glowed white as he gripped onto the table urgently.

"It's awful," Tatiana said vehemently, her eyes shining with tears. "The pain, it's horrible, he couldn't fall asleep and he can't do anything else but lie in bed and moan. It's all over his arm, he came home drenched with blood from that damned Mark, and it was all over his arm." She composed herself and then continued. "It's for life, Lucius; you can't ever take it off."

"I have to go see him," Lucius said, his face drained of colour.

Tatiana shook his head. "Please don't go- he wouldn't want you to see him like this," she said quietly. "He wants me to tell you not to do it."

"The Dark Lord wants to see me tonight, he wants my decision," Lucius said wearily. "He won't give a choice."

"For Narcissa, please don't do it," Tatiana begged. "He doesn't have much to threaten you with, he doesn't know Cissy is pregnant, he can't use the child to threaten you."

"I hope I can escape this," Lucius said. "But knowing the Dark Lord, we won't be able to."

Tatiana stood up. "I have to get going, the baby…" Her voice faltered and she managed a smile. "The baby is not well," she hugged her tummy.

Narcissa gasped. "Tatiana, you didn't tell me. I could have gotten Delia to help," she said quickly.

Tatiana laid a hand on Narcissa's arm. "Do you think Malloy hasn't gotten the best Medi-witches to help?" she said quietly. "There's nothing much I can do now but pray."

Narcissa collapsed into a chair as her friend swept out of the room.

"He's killing us all," she whispered. "That sick bastard, he's killing us all."

When you're dying,

Does it matter if you're being killed?


Author's Notes: Thanks to all who reviewed!

I'm having lots of fun writing this- I think the Lucius and Narcissa perspective is one of my favourite part- I like to htink that they had some good in them before. (: I hope this was good!

Please review!

-Lissie