Zack's Thoughts
Man, he was tired. When was the last time he slept? He tried to think, decided that if it took that much effort it didn't really matter, and leaned back against the wall behind him. He didn't know why they even bothered with guard duty anymore. The Dark Rangers knew where they were. If they wanted to attack, they'd all be destroyed anyway.
He rolled his eyes as the Power sensored his thoughts. Who really cared if they swore? There were people younger than him with fouler mouths fighting on the front lines of-what planet was he on again? He sighed, deciding it didn't matter. Nothing mattered much anymore.
All he could remember was that their last 'orders' were to investigate some fabled creator of the Astro Morphers. That had been a bust, to put it mildly. The old guy had been taken out by the Dark Rangers years ago, along with all his supplies and equipment. There wasn't so much as a scrap of food left in his kitchen.
He glanced down at his uniform as the fire light shimmered across it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd demorphed. He couldn't remember what it felt like to wear something other than spandex. Surprising the Power hadn't given out on him yet, like it had for so many others. The Aquitian Morphers weren't all that strong to begin with after they'd lost the first team. And with Billy gone...
He swallowed, biting the inside of his cheek as the pain welled up inside of him again. It wasn't anything new, he reminded himself harshly. Billy had been gone for months now. It was only the Morpher complaining about being short a team member. But it had been a silent, mutual decision between them that they would not offer the Blue Aquitian Morpher again.
He was thirsty, darn it. He scowled. Stupid Morpher. Apparently part of the Aquitian Power required a lot of water. Not exactly something they had in great supply, either.
His head jerked up at the sound of footsteps, hand reaching automatically for his weapon.
"Zack."
"Who do you fight for?" he snapped back. There was never any true assurances that the one he was looking at was really the person he thought it was, not anymore. Not since Res-Resina-whatever the heck the new Dark White's name was had showed up. Freaking shape-shifters.
"For the Dino Rangers." came the soft reply.
He relaxed slightly. "Trini." he acknowledged.
She silently held out a container of water for him. He took it with a quite murmur of thanks, trying not to guzzle it all in one drink. Stupid Morpher.
He lowered it at last, looking at her for a long moment. Trini, like so many others, was not the same person he'd known so long ago. Physically, she was on a string of nerves so tight she looked about ready to snap at any moment. Her face had a dark, hollowed out look to it, emphasized by the circles under her eyes. Like him she wore an Aquitian Ranger uniform, in Yellow, though she'd apparently forgotten her helmet somewhere. Her hair was another casualty of war, once long and shining, now cropped close and dull after too many incidences of being nearly ripped out of her skull. Her eyes were blank and unseeing, as they had remained ever since the day she was gased while trying to rescue a group of civilians.
They'd all been changed by the war. Jason was a shadow of his former self. Now one of the leaders of The Rebellion, his mind was never truly on the person he was talking to; too busy with plans and strategies. His face was set with worry lines that made him look older than he actually was, and his eyes... His eyes were like staring into purgatory. They'd all known that Jason and Tommy were close, but no one had really understood just how close until Tommy was gone. A part of Jason went with him, and every time Zack tried to look his friend in the eyes he'd been reminded by that lost, searching expression.
He'd stopped trying to meet his eyes directly years ago.
God, was he really only twenty-five? They'd all become far too thin; stress and lack of nutrition tended to do that to a person. Even Delphine, while he hadn't exactly known her well before this nightmare had started, was constantly quiet, speaking only in a soft murmur when it was necessary. Her voice, like her thin body, was dry and hoarse from not getting the amount of water she needed. As for himself... He didn't exactly get a whole lot of chances to look in a mirror these days, but he could feel the weakness in his body, see how bony his hands had become. There were far more scars than he would ever be able to count, and he couldn't remember where half of them had come from. But then, that was another condition they all suffered from, he reminded himself absently as he looked at the long scar maring Trini's cheek. When had that one happened?
"You're staring at me."
He shrugged, belatedly remembering she wouldn't see it. "Thinking."
Her face softened slightly in understanding. "About the others?"
He looked away. "Yeah."
It was over five years since they'd lost Tommy at the beginning of the war, nearly a year now since Kim. Zeus had finally managed to get the revenge he'd always been going on about, or at least that was what they assumed had happened. All anyone knew was that Tommy had gone alone to face Zeus, for reasons he'd never quite explained. He never came back, and Zeus was more than happy to tell them why. No one had questioned it; they all felt the loss. There were no words to describe what losing Tommy had done to Kimberly. They'd all been amazed at how long she'd lasted without him, having expected her to follow almost immediately. Instead she'd fought on with a ferocity no one had imagined she could have. She had won battles for them that should have been impossible, made rescues without a single casualty. When the civilians began to join what had become labled as 'The Rebellion', Kimberly was the reason behind many of them. It had been both fascinating and horrifying to see what had become of someone had once been a sweet, bubbly, airheaded young girl. She had gone out fighting, and while she hadn't made it out of the battle, neither had the Dark White Ranger she'd been against. Billy's attack had been only a few months ago, still new enough to hurt. He had been found in a pool of blood with Scorpina leaning over him. She had gotten away, and the new Aquitian Rangers had been left mourning yet another team member.
He didn't know how Delphine had managed to keep going after her team had been lost, let alone offer the Morphers to Jason, Trini, Billy, and him. He hadn't asked, and no one else was insensitive enough to when they could all see the haunted look in her eyes. He had accepted the Morpher knowing it was probably the only chance of fighting back he had, the only way to avenge Tommy and Kimberly. To get the revenge for his parents Hawk deserved.
He still couldn't understand just what Kim had been on when she'd named her son 'Hawking'.
There weren't many of them left now. Zhane, Cassie, Rosemarie, and Kat had all been casualties of the growing Darkness. Cassie had destroyed herself, while the other three had been eaten alive by the forces of evil. He didn't quite understand it; all he knew was that Billy had told them all without enough Light left in the universe, the Darkness was overpowering them. It was similar to what had happened to Aurora from what they knew. The Darkness was being channeled through her Sword of Shadows, and she had sacrificed herself before she could be turned. Nisha had been devastated, and commited what they'd come to call a 'Battle Sacrifice'. It was when someone went into battle without any intention of coming out. They'd all been startled by that one; no one even knew she and Aurora were together. Ko-lin and Hyo had gone out the same way. Tanya and Vengi had gone together in one of the greater battles they'd fought, and Luc had fallen a few years later. Aisha...
He closed his eyes, swallowing back another wave of grief. Aisha had been driven insane by what had happened to Rocky and Adam. She died in battle, but no one ever really knew if it had been a Battle Sacrifice or not. By that point she hadn't been in her right mind for a long time.
As for the other two... Rocky had taken a blow for Adam that they had all believed killed him. Zeus and Astronema had stolen the body before they could even properly grieve, only to find him standing with the Dark Rangers the next time they fought. He'd called himself Diablo, and claimed that he was the new Dark Red Ranger. Barely a week later, he'd taken Adam from them. There was no way of knowing what had actually happened, but Adam had the mental capacity of a turnip now. He fought when Diablo told him to, stopped when he was ordered, and showed no other signs of intelligence. He'd become the Dark Green Ranger after they'd taken out Rita.
He shook his head. The Dark Rangers' roster changed almost monthly. Zedd, Rita, and Tearrah were long gone. Apparently Demoness had suffered from the same problem as the rest of the empaths, and had destroyed herself because of the overflow of dark emotions. Ironically Astronema had been destroyed by the same Morpher she'd stolen from Zhane; Light couldn't serve on the side of Darkness. Served her right, as far as he was concerned. The Dark White Ranger changed frequently; he couldn't even remember who it was now. He didn't much care, either. What was the point in trying to remember when they'd be destroyed by one side or the other in a matter of months? Zeus' temper was half the reason behind the casualty rates.
He opened an eye to reguard Trini. She didn't usually stand around and try to make conversation anymore. If she wasn't fighting, she just seemed to stare off into space.
He winced instinctively at the thought. Yeah, that wasn't rude.
"What's up?" he asked casually. "Trying to figure out a new way to make the rations edible?"
It was an old argument between them. He insisted they weren't food, and there was no way they would ever become food. Trini believed there had to be some way to make them taste good. He always argued that it was a lost cause, but it had become one of the few constants they had left. Even if he couldn't find any reason to laugh anymore, he wouldn't stop giving his friends his jokes. He wouldn't stop trying for them.
She shrugged slightly. "Just doing some thinking myself, I suppose." There was a long pause. "Why do you fight, Zack?"
He straightened, staring at her with more than a little concern. "You're not thinking about-"
She sighed and shook her head, a bit of the old amused annoyance showing on her face. "I'm not thinking about Battle Sacrifice. I was just...wondering why we still try." She turned away, rubbing her arms self-consciously.
He was silent for a long moment. It wasn't as though he didn't think the same thing himself more often than he should. There were times he remembered what Pahla had told them, about how Rangers didn't have an afterlife. Instead they were assimilated into the Grid, where they became part of the Power to help the Rangers that came after them. Just knowing that, knowing that he would never be able to stop fighting, never find peace, was enough to make him wish he'd never stayed with the others the day that they'd met Zordon and Alpha. That he'd never agreed to become a Ranger more so that he wouldn't be alone than anything else. There were times he even hated Zordon for giving him this life.
"For Tommy." he said at last. "For Kim. Aisha, Kat, all the friends we've lost. Hawk, Garrett, Marinda. For the kids that will never get the chance to know their parents. For people who deserve a life where they don't live in fear. That's why we fight."
She looked up at him now, her blank eyes still somehow seeming to peer into his. "But why do you fight, Zack? What are you fighting for?"
He stared back. There was so many things he could say. So many fancy, pretty speeches about never giving up and always fighting for the greater good. About honor and sacrifice. In the end, all that came out was "I don't know." He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall behind him again and closing his eyes. "I don't know anymore."
His stomach hurt suddenly.
He was falling. Looking up, he saw Trini grin, shimmering for a moment as she transformed into the Dark White Ranger. "Then let me help you give up, Black Ranger." he sneered.
It was cold.
Zack stared up at the ceiling of the cave, listening distantly to the sounds of the footsteps fading away. Somewhere there was a muffled cry, followed by a shout. He was having trouble hearing it.
His hands were sticky. He didn't bother to lift them to see why. It didn't much matter. The pain was already gone anyway.
The corners of his vision were beginning to blacken. He waited for his life to flash before his eyes. Instead, all he saw was a single image, filling what remained of his consciousness.
It had been just after a battle, back in the old days. They were all laughing together in the Youth Center at something or another. Jason, looking so calm and sure of himself. Trini's eyes sparkling with happiness as she brushed that long, beautiful hair away from her face. Billy looking somewhat sheepish and embarassed as he pushed his glasses up on his nose, as though he shouldn't really be laughing. Kimberly giggling, hands pressed together over her mouth. Tommy, so shy and yet so happy to be there, his grin lighting up his entire face.
I fight to remember those smiles, he thought dimly as the blackness crept closer. I fight for the friends who became my family, and the love I don't want to forget...
