Chapter 79: Depression Is Dangerous
(Eret's POV)
I'm working in Gobber's forge once again, and I'm about to head home for the day when my two youngest kids, Dustin and Eira, both seven, come running towards me. The last time someone came running towards me like this was nine years ago, when Ruby, now 21, was twelve. My heart sinks at the sight of my twins running with tears in their eyes.
"Dad! Dad!"
"What's going on, you two?" I ask, kneeling in front of them.
"It's Mum…she's not waking up, and her wrists are bleeding. Ruby's with her now." Eira tells me.
"Go let Grandma Lily and Grandpa Frank know, and stay with Uncle Tuffnut."
"Dad, what's going on?"
"I'll explain later. Please just go."
My heart in my throat, I sprint home, tears falling down my cheeks.
Why did this happen?
Fearing the worst for my wife, I enter the house.
My little love is bandaging her mother's wounds. I kneel beside Ruby, taking her mother's pulse. It's thready, but it's there.
"Ruby, I need to get your mother to Gothi's. Stay here."
"Okay."
"Good girl."
I gather my wife up in my arms and rush to Gothi's hut.
~.~
An hour has passed and I've since broken down.
Becky hasn't woken up yet.
Gothi tells me my wife nearly cut a vein.
Ruffnut and Tuffnut are here while Ruby's watching Dustin and Eira.
I look solemnly at my brother- and sister-in-law.
Things aren't looking good for my wife.
Gothi says that if Becky doesn't wake up in an hour, she may not wake up at all, and that there's nothing further she can do.
I break down, my world ending. I can't lose my wife. I can't. It would destroy me.
She always talks about losing me would destroy her.
I just hope I get the chance to tell her that losing her would destroy me.
And our family.
"Tuffnut, could you please go get my kids? Just in case?" I ask.
"Of course. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Tuffnut kisses his adoptive sister on her head and leaves, returning not much later with Ruby, Dustin and Eira.
"Daddy?"
"Things aren't looking good, my little loves." I tell them, not even bothering to try to hide my tears.
My kids…they say their goodbyes to their mother, and Gobber volunteers to watch them, despite Ruby being 21.
"I'm so sorry, Eret. I'm so so sorry." Gobber tells me.
"Thanks, Gob."
Gobber leaves with my kids, and the rest of our family and friends stop by…to – to say their goodbyes.
I grip my wife's hand, not wanting to believe she's actually not going to make it.
Through my sobs, I pray to the gods, and send a message to Mum.
"Mum, if you can hear me, please look after my wife. Please."
Gothi checks Becky's pulse, and I look at Gothi expectantly.
Gothi shakes her head and I collapse, not letting go of my wife's hand.
She's gone. My wife is really and truly gone.
She successfully committed suicide.
She's gone.
She's…gone.
~.~
I bolt up, tears rolling down my cheeks and breathing hard.
I'm in Gothi's hut.
No…it can't be. Please, gods, no. Don't let it be true.
I picture myself having to let Becky's and my crew know that my wife is gone…really and actually gone.
Hesitantly, I look up. My wife's wrists are bandaged and I can hear steady breathing coming from her.
"Oh, thank the gods." I whisper, not believing my wife is still here, still breathing, still alive.
I begin to sob with relief.
My wife is alive. My wife is alive. My wife is alive.
"Eret?" I look up, tears blurring my vision. But I know it's her. I know it's my wife talking to me.
"I'm here, darling. I'm right here."
"I'm sorry." My wife tells me, starting to cry.
"Shhh. You're alive, and that's what matters. That's all that matters right now." I say, caressing my wife's hair.
"I'm alive."
"Yes, and thank the gods for that. I was so afraid we'd lost you."
"You were?"
"I was terrified. Love, there's something you should know. I know you always say that losing me would destroy you, but losing you? That would destroy me. It would destroy our family. Our friends. Everyone we know and love. So, next time…please, please, please. Talk to someone. Talk to me or Valka or your mum or, for the love of the gods, anyone but our kids. I promise that you being alive is worth it, so, so worth it, love."
"I'm so sorry, Eret. It's just that the memories with Drago came flooding back and I couldn't handle them anymore."
"We will always be there for you, my love. Always. I promise. I promise. Please just never do something like this again. Okay?"
She nods, and that's good enough for me.
I can't lose my wife. I can't.
It would absolutely, positively, without a doubt, destroy me.
And our family and friends.
Which is why I'm determined to spend the rest of our lives showing Becky how much she's loved. Forever and ever and always.
