Announcements
I closed my eyes and breathed in the most delicious scent in the world. It was sweet, rather like freesia with a hint of strawberry, only better. The scent flowed like a river over a sheer mountain edge, turning the sound of the pulse that drove it into the roar of a waterfall. It surrounded me and caused my throat to ache and burn, but it was a burn that I had grown to love, because as long as I burned, it meant she lived. Only too soon, the burn would die, because so would she.
Her scent held a tint of fear induced adrenaline, and I heard the sound of her pulse accelerate from whatever thoughts were scaring her. Smiling to myself, I thought I had a pretty good idea of the source of her fear. Me. Or rather, what she was doing because of me. I felt her hand twitch in mine, and tightened my hold on her, just slightly. I didn't want to crush her fragile, bird-like bones.
Simply holding her hand in mine was a pleasure unlike anything I had imagined I would feel before I had met her. She was warm, and the heat of her living body soaked into my cold skin. Even better, I could feel the band of metal that pressed against my fingers. Like me, it had soaked up her warmth, though it had none of its own. Keeping my hand under hers, I moved it just slightly, letting the light in the room catch the stones in the ring she wore. My human mother's ring. My Bella's engagement ring.
Outside of the house, a car door slammed shut, and I could hear Charlie's grumbling thoughts at the sight of my car parked against the road. …be nice to the kid…
"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here," I teased her.
"Easy for you to say," she muttered. Charlie's steps were loud as he neared the house, and I heard Bella's heart rate and breathing increase at the sound of keys in the front door.
"Calm down, Bella." Her fear was almost amusing, even though just the day before, it would have caused me distress, forcing me to wonder if she wouldn't choose a life without me. Now, her insistence that this was what she wanted only added to my anticipation for what was coming. Sitting there waiting for it was nearly as agonizing to me as it surely was to her, but for the opposite reason. Bella was worried about her father's reaction to our announcement whereas I wanted to stand up and shout it to the world: Bella and I were engaged to be married! She had said yes!
Her body flinched at the sound of the slamming door.
Deliberately nonchalant, I called, "Hey, Charlie."
"No!" She shook her head as she whispered the word.
"What?" I whispered back.
"Wait till he hangs his gun up!"
I couldn't stop the snicker at the thought of a gun being any kind of a threat to me, and I knew as well as she did that Charlie would never harm his own daughter.
Bella's father, Charlie Swan, was the Chief of Police in the tiny, rainy town of Forks, Washington that I had come to call my home. I liked the fact that it was nearly always cloudy here, giving me the freedom to live an almost normal life. I liked that it was small – fewer humans meant fewer minds to hear. I liked the fact that it was so near to a mountain range that was heavily populated with some of my favorite prey. But none of those things made it home. It was the girl at my side who did that, and anywhere in the world that she lived would seem like home to me, so long as we were there together.
I still found it nearly impossible to believe my good luck. I had been a monster in every sense of the word for many years: a bloodsucking demon who killed humans for food, a dead creature who could never die, arrogant and foolish, and – I had thought – eternally alone. True, I had stopped killing humans long ago and, as Bella often reminded me, I had stuck to killing only those who were themselves monsters in a misguided attempt at negating my own evil. But those facts did not make me any less of a monster.
Somehow, she didn't see it. Somehow, she knew what I was and wasn't afraid. Somehow, she saw me as good, despite knowing my past. Somehow, she loved me, despite all that I had done to her, despite how close I had come to killing her on many occasions, despite the fact that one day – soon – I would kill her. Somehow, despite having another option, another young man whom she loved and who loved her nearly as much as I did, she had chosen me. I ran the hand not clasped in hers through my hair, trying to contain my emotions.
Charlie came into the living room, still armed and dressed in his uniform. …spend much more time here gonna start charging him rent… I saw the muscles along his jaw clench at the sight of us together, but he forced a smile and spoke pleasantly. "Hey kids. What's up?"
"We'd like to talk to you. We have some good news." I was unable to keep the pleasure out of my voice and didn't even bother to try.
I watched through his eyes as they flashed to Bella's face, and then mine. Though she looked scared, I was smiling and clearly pleased with myself. My skin seemed even paler than normal next to her pink glow and, given our expressions, my lack of color seemed strange to him. Unable to define exactly what it was about me that always made him nervous, he was not oblivious to the subtle menace that I projected like his daughter was.
He might not want me there, might even have preferred to kick me out and demand that I never return, but he had seen how miserable she was without me and knew that being with me made her happy. Resigned to my presence in her life, his eyes narrowed, and he repeated my words in a low growl. "'Good news'?"
"Have a seat, Dad," Bella invited him.
…oh, this can't be good…
Anxiously, he stomped to the recliner and perched on the edge of the seat, holding himself as rigid as any unhappy vampire I'd ever seen. I waited along with him for Bella to tell him the news I was all but bursting with.
"Don't get worked up, Dad. Everything's okay," she tried to reassure him after a moment of complete silence.
I couldn't stop my grimace at her use of the word "okay" to describe the situation. Okay could describe a day at school, or a mediocre movie. Okay was appropriate when someone asked how you were and you were miserable, but couldn't admit to it. Okay was what the past century of my life had been.
Bella and I were getting married! Everything was incredible, fantastic, unbelievably amazing, or absolutely glorious! But it was not okay! Saying that our engagement was okay was like describing the Sistine Chapel as a nice building, or saying the Mona Lisa was a decent painting. No. Bella and I were engaged to be married. My life couldn't have been more perfect, and okay didn't even come close. But though she may have agreed, the thought still made her nervous, and so I held my tongue.
"Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"
"I'm not sweating," she denied.
He frowned at her, his lips twisting into an angry scowl, and I felt her lean into me. Through his eyes, I watched her wipe the sweat from her forehead, as though Charlie wasn't watching her remove the evidence.
…knew it! I just knew it!...He glared at me, trembling with fury, and accused, "You're pregnant! You're pregnant, aren't you?" …I'm gonna… just… wait till I get my hands on him…knew it!
"No!" Bella shouted. "Of course I'm not!"
I felt her fingers tighten around mine and managed to avoid broadening my already smug smirk since Charlie was still glaring at me. I'd been right about the source of her fear. She'd told me that was how people would see us. Her mother had instilled within Bella a fear of marriage, especially at a young age. Renée hated Forks even more than Bella did, and had gotten married to Charlie for the very reason he accused me of wanting to marry Bella now. "Knocked up, like some small town hick," was the way she had put it to me.
How I wished such a fate were even possible for us. I would have given almost anything for the ability to give Bella a child. She protested that she didn't want one and was fine with never becoming a mother, but Bella was so young and could have no real understanding of what eternity truly meant. I worried that she might change her mind when it was too late for her to do anything about it, but was through with trying to force her to chose a different life. We would get married, and Bella would become a vampire, and I would just have to hope that my love for her would suffice.
Charlie looked away from me, surprised at the vehemence of Bella's denial. Able to see the truth in them, his scowl lost some of its ferocity as he met Bella's eyes. She was a terrible liar, and that she was telling the truth now was immediately apparent to him.
"Oh. Sorry," he mumbled.
"Apology accepted," she said calmly.
He watched Bella, and I watched her through his eyes as we waited for her to explain our good news. Charlie watched her blink a few times, and I saw a look of fear cross her face again, just before she turned her head to stare at me. I met her wide eyes, smiling at the silent plea that I could read as easily as if I were capable of reading her mind.
Taking a breath to steady myself, I turned to face him. "Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle – she loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?"
I could hear the victorious ring in my voice as I spoke the words to him. She had chosen me, as she had from the very beginning. In my arrogance and stupidity, I had been unable to accept the truth of her feelings for me at first. How could the emotions of a teenage human girl possibly compare with the passions of a hundred year old vampire? How could someone as pure, selfless, and sweet as this human girl care at all for a murderous monster? I still didn't know, but I knew that she did, and I was no longer going to deny the truth. We were mates. She had chosen me, promised herself to be eternally mine, just as I was forever hers. No, there was no way I could diminish her choice.
Always the odd man out among three perfectly matched couples, I had believed myself doomed to bachelorhood for the entirety of my limitless existence. I'd watched my parents and siblings find love and promise themselves to each other, but that it could ever happen for me had been inconceivable. Now, it had. Once more, I had to restrain myself from shouting it: We were getting married!
As I spoke the incredible, beautiful words to him - Bella has already said yes! - I saw his eyes dart away from her face to our linked hands and the ring that rested on her finger.
…Married?! Already said yes?! What? No!
Charlie's body locked down like a vampire in stress. He stopped breathing and sat motionless, staring at the engagement ring that rested on his only daughter's finger. Unlike a vampire though, his blood pressure reacted to his stress. The blood in his body flooded his face, turning it from the pale shade of grey that his fear of our impending announcement had caused to a bright red that a normal, thirsty vampire would have been unable to resist.
I watched Charlie's mind as he processed the idea. His mind was not silent like his daughter's, but neither was it as clear to me as most every other person's I'd ever met. He'd always been a man of few words, and I had once thought his mind was as slow to think as his mouth was to speak, until I had met Bella and realized that I was the slow one. Charlie's mind was quiet, but it certainly was not slow, and although it usually lacked much of a monologue, the visuals that flowed through his thoughts were fascinating.
Bella's breathing stopped at the same time as her father's did, and I knew it was her body's reaction to her fear of what Charlie would say to our news. I felt her move beside me, as though to rise from the loveseat and go to him, but I thought that he might simply need time to process our announcement.
"Give him a minute," I whispered to her.
In his mind were vague images of Renée's body swelling with his child and the kind of wedding he had been afraid we were planning; of Renée leaving, and taking Bella away from him; of Bella's face through the years and the small changes he missed as she learned to walk, grew and eventually lost her teeth – I had to bite back a laugh at the image of little-girl-Bella's small smile as she tried to hide her missing front teeth – of Bella during our first summer together and the happiness that she had constantly displayed; of the horrible depression that followed my attempt to remove myself from her life. As his body continued to react to his thoughts, I was aware of a fiery anger at this image, and a fear that I would abandon her again, as I had already done once before.
The color in his face changed from the enticing red to a bright purple from his anger that swiftly shifted toward blue from his lack of oxygen. Finally releasing his held breath, he began breathing again as a new image formed in his mind. This time, instead of Bella's misery, I saw him remember my own. The day that I had returned with her, he had seen what my absence from her life had done to me, just as clearly as he saw what it had done to her. He glanced at us and saw the difference in us now: Bella's face, pink and healthy, and my own expression as I held back the barely contained ecstatic smile.
Acknowledging this difference calmed him slightly. ...put himself through that again, but if he ever puts her through it... a cop knows how to hide evidence of foul play...
I nearly laughed aloud as he imagined himself hiding my body. He needn't have worried about that. I had learned from my mistake, and never again would I leave my Bella. Soon, we would be joined as husband and wife for the rest of eternity. My long years of loneliness were over, and I was more than ready to start my life as Bella's husband. I only wished that didn't mean her death.
Well, perhaps it didn't. Carlisle had tried to convince me that becoming a vampire had not ended my life. Esme, too, had told me that it was merely the end of one life, and the beginning of a new one. I still had my doubts, but I couldn't doubt Bella's love for me, nor mine for her.
"Guess I'm not that surprised," he finally said in a sour tone. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough." His eyes flashed to Bella's face as she sighed in relief. "You sure about this?"
Bella's instant response made my silent heart swell with pleasure. "I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward."
"Getting married, though? What's the rush?" His eyes narrowed. ...eighteen is too young! Must be something influencing them...
"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie. I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised." Considering all the lies I'd had to tell to both him and his daughter since I'd met them, I was glad to be able to speak one truth, at least. My human mother would never have allowed me to move away so that I could shack up with some harlot. If she wasn't respectable enough for me to make her my wife first, I'd have had no business with her! Elizabeth had been so careful to raise me to live without sin, and I felt a familiar wave of remorse at how far from her path I'd strayed.
In my century of existence, I had lied, stolen, cheated, taken revenge, coveted, envied, and outright murdered. About the only sin in which I hadn't indulged was one for which I hadn't believed myself worthy. What serial killer deserved the love of a woman? There had never been another woman in my life before Bella, not in that way, at least. I had always known that I didn't deserve Bella's love, but I accepted it gratefully.
My explanation had him grimacing, for it left him without an argument. He continued to frown at me, and his mouth twisted to the side. "Knew this was coming," he muttered again.
I saw his memory from just the day before, as he had watched his best friend's son being carried into their house by the members of their tribe after what Charlie had been told was a motorcycle accident. The incident had, in fact, been a battle with a vampire army, and Jacob's pack of werewolves had been instrumental in helping us to defeat them. Jacob's had been the only significant injury, but werewolves healed quickly, and the young man would make a full recovery. Charlie couldn't know any of this, and believed all of us to be human, just as he had believed the motorcycle cover story.
As Jacob had been carried into his room, he had met Charlie's eyes and had said to him, "Bet you're glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?" Though he had, at one time, preferred Jacob over myself for his daughter, he couldn't deny that I had always been far more concerned with Bella's safety than Jacob was. Jacob had taken her motorcycle riding, even going so far as to hide the illicit bike at his house where Charlie wouldn't see it. Jacob had kissed Bella against her wishes, earning him a punch which had broken Bella's hand. That hand was still encased in a brace, and a glance at Bella's broken hand had him picturing the many times she had come home in bandages from a day spent with Jacob.
Charlie's face lost its glower, becoming blank with fear as he remembered seeing his only daughter wrapped in bandages and casts a year ago when her life had been threatened by yet another vampire. In order to prevent Charlie from becoming a target, Bella had told her father that she was leaving Forks because she hated the tiny, rainy town, just as her mother had once said to him. My family and I had only just managed to save Bella from James, the sadistic vampire who had been intent on killing my fragile human girl. However her encounter with him had landed her in the hospital, covered in casts and bandages, and resulted in a coma which had lasted several days. Bella had insisted to Charlie that I had saved her life – after a fall down several flights of stairs, which had been her cover story that time – but from that day until very recently, Charlie had disliked and mistrusted me.
"Dad?" Bella saw Charlie's change of expression, but of course, she couldn't know the reason behind it.
I watched Charlie's memories, catching bits and pieces of images, of him talking frantically on the phone with doctors – my father included – and calling Bella's mother so she could go be with their daughter during her hospital stay. As Renée's face crossed Charlie's mind again, he pictured her furious reaction at learning that their eighteen year old daughter was about to get married. He imagined his own gloating face as Bella reacted to her mother's wrath and burst out laughing.
Holding his stomach, he leaned forward, his body shaking with mirth. …good cop, bad cop… know she'll put a stop to this!
I knew only too well how stubborn their daughter was. Neither Charlie nor Renée had any chance of changing their daughter's mind, especially considering the wedding was Bella's way of getting what she thought she really wanted: for me to change her into a vampire. Well, that, and what we intended on our wedding night, what she had convinced me to try to do with her. I had wanted her from the start, but she was so fragile, so delicate, so breakable, where I was strong enough to crush granite. The thought of accidentally harming her terrified me, but to secure her hand, I had agreed to try to make love to her, and so she had agreed to marry me. Bella's parents had no chance of stopping the coming wedding when I had been unable to sway her from her goals. The very idea of someone else changing Bella's mind was ludicrous!
…called having your cake and eating it, too!
Charlie continued to laugh, picturing Renée flying to Forks to drag her teenage daughter away from me, while he, the picture of innocence, was saved from both Bella's anger and the wedding we planned. Bella glanced at me, but I was fighting my own laughter at Charlie's deviousness.
"Okay, fine," he managed to say between gasps. "Get married. But..."
"But what," Bella pressed.
"But you have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renée! That's all yours!" He laughed harder as I fought my grin. He'd agreed! I had Bella's father's permission to marry her! Not that his refusal would have stopped me, but his blessing was something I had never expected a creature like myself to gain. Never stopping his snickers, he left the living room to go to his bedroom and change. As soon as he left the room, I met Bella's wide-eyed look of fear with a broad grin.
"See? Nothing to worry about." My voice was smug, gloating, even.
"Sure, sure. Nothing but Renée." She groaned and leaned into me.
"Putting it off won't make it any easier." I stood and tugged on her hand, still grinning.
She allowed me to pull her into the kitchen, took a deep breath and held it, staring at the phone. Her face paled, and her heart accelerated faster even than when we'd waited for Charlie.
Losing my smug grin, I touched her face carefully, turning her toward me.
"It's not too late. We can still go to Carlisle. Or, if you prefer, Vegas is still an option." I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. I was done with trying to force her into anything. Trying to force her to remain human had only kept her in the danger that being a human in my world had inevitably brought to her. Trying to remove myself from her life had nearly ended in both of our deaths. Trying to force her to stay away from Jacob had hurt everyone involved, as had my later attempts to convince her to choose him. Through everything I had done to her, she had remained firm in what she wanted. Me. Forever.
Though that didn't necessarily mean marriage to her, it had to me. I wanted so desperately to marry her, to make her mine, and she had finally seemed to accept the idea in our meadow - had in fact, argued for the idea when I had tried to call it off - but now, faced with telling her mother, her fear came back.
She let her breath out, and I smelled her wonderful warmth as it blew against my face. Her chocolate eyes lost some of their worry as I stared into them.
"No. We're going to do this right. I promised Charlie that we wouldn't e-elope. Renée will be able to handle things easier this way. I can't just disappear with no explanation." She took another breath which she held as she reached for the phone.
I wrapped my arms around her while she engaged in small talk, feeling her silky hair on my face, and I memorized the sound of her voice as she told Renée, "Mom, I'm marrying Edward." I couldn't stop the low chuckle of delight from turning into a snicker at her mother's response.
"I'm a little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive."
If I thought Charlie had an interesting mind, Renée certainly did. Childlike and insightful, she saw clearly what other humans missed, even if she couldn't always explain or understand it. I wasn't a normal human boy, but I was completely and irrevocably in love with her daughter. Though she didn't understand the first, she had become convinced of the second when we'd visited her that spring.
For all of Bella's fears over her mother's reaction, and all of Charlie's hopes that Renée would put a stop to it, Bella's mother had known what we were headed for before either of us had truly accepted it.
"Commitment was never your problem, sweetie," she told Bella with a laugh. "You have a better chance of making this work than most forty-year olds I know. My little middle-aged child. Luckily, you seem to have found another old soul."
Those words startled me. I had called Renée insightful many times; how could she think that I had a soul when I was sure of the exact opposite? Though I would desperately like to believe that Bella and I were not just mates, but soul mates, I knew that even if my transformation from human to vampire had not destroyed it, then my actions as a human hunter surely had.
I closed my eyes and vowed to do everything in my power to protect Bella's pure, beautiful soul.
