Runaway
Alice and Esme kept themselves busy making plans, and the house phone was often unavailable since my mother was on it so much talking to Bella's. It was really too bad that we were not a normal couple. From what I had seen of human relationships, the parents of the bride rarely got along with those of the groom. There were no problems like that on our end, but then, it was hard not to love my adopted mother, and Renée's childlike innocence was endearing to all of us.
Our house had never been as full of smiles and laughter as it was over that summer. Or perhaps it had been, but my discontent had hid the others' joy from me. Then again, maybe I was simply projecting my own jubilation onto my family. Of course, it could have been that they were happy because I was happy, and no longer acting like the grumpy old man. Whatever it was, I was as grateful to see my family's smiling faces and to hear their musical laughter as they were for mine.
The only one who wasn't happy now was Charlie. He felt betrayed that Renée was so enthusiastic about the coming wedding and spent the entire summer sulking and muttering about the lack of people he could trust.
Well, there were a few other people who were less than happy about our engagement.
The only part of the ceremony Alice allowed me to assist her with planning was the music. Since I couldn't very well play for my own wedding, I had asked Rosalie if she would do the honor. She had agreed, and even volunteered to assist me with choosing a band to play during the reception. She and I were in Carlisle's office, using his computer to play videos of several local bands. We were debating their various merits when his angry thoughts distracted me.
Carlisle's eyes were worried and his mouth tight when he opened the door. Seeing the expression on his face, but not the reason for it in his mind, I tried to tease it out of him.
"You're going to make yourself grey at an early age if you keep worrying like that, Carlisle. What has you so upset?"
He sighed, laying his medical bag on his desk. "I will not be going back to the reservation."
"Don't tell me they banned you from coming back after everything you've done. Jacob Black owes his recovery to you. He'd have been crippled for the rest of his life if you hadn't set his bones!"
"No, Edward. None of the wolves said anything to me. The few times that I have seen Sam Uley, he has been polite and welcoming." An image of a familiar man in a wheelchair flashed through his mind, and I eyed him warily.
"Billy said something to you?" If anyone should be grateful to Carlisle, it was Jacob's father!
"No, no. Not exactly. He was rather upset, but understandably so under the circumstances."
"What happened?"
"Did you really think it wise to send Jacob an invitation to your wedding?"
Surprised at the anger in his tone, I stared at him for a long minute before answering. "If she had chosen him over me, I would have wanted the option to attend their wedding, so long as she was willing to have me there. And I know that Bella would like him back in her life."
"Some things are not meant to be, son. Bella made her choice when she agreed to marry you. She knows that being a part of our life means Jacob will no longer be a part of hers."
...good riddance... I glanced at Rosalie, but she was studying the monitor and avoided my eyes.
"Well, what could Jacob have said? If he doesn't want to come, he doesn't have to."
"Jacob was not home."
I rolled my eyes. "Then what did Billy say?"
"That Jacob had left."
Rubbing my forehead in frustration, I muttered my father's name.
"Jacob is gone. As in, he ran away. He turned wolf after receiving the invitation and has refused to change back, and the rest of his pack cannot get him to come home. Billy said he refuses to acknowledge them and has not stopped running since he left yesterday."
"Oh." I was surprised to find that I actually felt bad for the mutt. "Well, if he was able to phase and is still running after a whole day, I'd say he is fully healed and there was no reason for you to keep going over there, anyway."
He frowned at me. "Seventy years ago, the treaty we made with the pack did little more than keep us from killing each other. I was hoping that this time, we might actually have been able to set aside our differences and become friends."
Rosalie made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat which I tried not to copy. Carlisle shot her a stern look as she tossed her hair over her shoulders and stood. She strode from the room, muttering, "Really, Carlisle. You'd make friends with anything."
He sighed and shook his head before turning his attention back to me.
"You think the werewolves want to be friends with the vampires?"
"You and Seth seem to be maintaining a friendship."
"That's different."
"I do not see how."
"Most of them tolerated us on their reservation for the sole reason that you were the only one capable of healing Jacob's wounds."
"Which he got defending us."
"Which he got defending Leah."
"Who was there fighting the army for us."
"They were there so that they could kill vampires! If the army had been after us alone, they would have watched as we were torn to shreds, and only then stepped in to kill any that were left. It was Bella, the reservation, and the town they were protecting, not us."
He pursed his lips in disapproval. "I thought you were passed this. Do you still hate the wolves so much? After the way you helped me treat Jacob - "
"I'm only being realistic, Carlisle. I don't hate them. I don't hate him. But I can't say the same for them. They don't trust us, and they don't like us. I sent the invitation for Bella's sake. It's not my fault he can't be an adult about the situation."
He raised his eyebrows, skeptically. And you believe that you are?
I studied him without answering.
"Can you honestly say you were not rubbing his nose in the fact that you are marrying the woman he loves?"
I pressed my lips together and sighed. If we had been talking about Mike, then the answer would easily have been that I had no reason other than, as Carlisle had put it, rubbing his nose in the fact. But with Jacob...
"I respect Jacob Black. More than you realize."
"You have a funny way of showing it."
"I owe him a debt that I'll never be able to repay. He saved Bella's life more times than I can say. As such, I owe him my life, too. He saved her knowing that she loved me. Because of him, his pack fought the army. I owe him Bella's life, my own life, and yours and the rest of our family's, too. Have you forgotten that I watched the future of the fight that Alice saw before they offered to help us? I watched our family die, Carlisle!" I stopped and swallowed hard while he considered my words. The skepticism remained on his face, though the anger seemed to leave it.
"He made his offer to help us knowing what her plans were. Knowing that Bella loved me, not him. That she was going to join us, making her essentially his enemy too. And still he risked his life and his pack's life to save ours. No, Carlisle. I grieve for his pain; I don't rejoice in it."
I could see that he believed me by the change in the expression on his face. But though there may have been neither anger nor skepticism there, I could still easily read the sadness in his eyes. "I am very glad to hear that, son. But there was still no need to add to it. If he had wanted to remain in her life, he would have found a way to do so. Their friendship is over."
"Bella may have told him goodbye, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't prefer to have us both. That's the only reason I sent the invitation. I would give her anything, even if that means giving her him. I even tried to convince her to choose him. And if she had, and had told me goodbye instead of him... we would not be having this conversation."
No. I suppose not.
"Well, that's neither here nor there. He's gone, and Bella and I are getting married soon." Despite myself, I felt a grin overtake my face. "I invited Seth, too, you know."
Carlisle laughed and nodded. "I do know. And I understand he plans on attending, too."
"Well, there you go. You want us to be friends with the wolves and there's one that likes us. At least it's a start."
He shook his head and left me to resume the video I'd been watching.
The best summer of my existence passed swiftly. Bella and I spent nearly every minute together, but there were still times when I had to part from her. I had my own fittings, and Alice refused to let me anywhere near their house when Charlie or Bella were trying on their clothes. The wedding wasn't the only thing that needed to be planned. I had arrangements to make for our stay on the island and used the computer in Carlisle's study to type up yet another correspondence with our housekeepers.
Yes, I insisted to them for the third time, I did need them to stock the house with food! Alice had insisted on me ordering eggs especially, along with peanut butter, bread, cereal, several types of cheeses, flour, sugar, milk, butter and oils, various frozen meats, noodles, a variety of fresh local vegetables and frozen ones too, fruits, nuts, a plethora of herbs and spices, pastries - though my nose wrinkled at the memory of the plastic smell of the Pop-Tarts that Bella loved - granola bars, lunch meat, multiple types of condiments, and juices.
Typing up the list she'd given me, I realized that Alice had told me to order enough food to keep Bella fed for a month, at least! It was no wonder they were questioning me. We had never made such requests of them before, and doing so now only fueled their curiosity about us, but that didn't matter; Bella would need to eat.
I'd been infuriated with my sister at first and had demanded that she keep her visions of the future away from the island. She had insisted that she wasn't being nosy and that it was better to be prepared. Growing more and more nervous over our stay, I'd finally reversed my stance and begged her to tell me what she saw. Of course, she'd refused to show me anything, telling me that there were too many possibilities to say anything definitive. She assured me that she was merely being thorough, and was planning for any and every potential future.
Though I'd tried to pry past her defenses, there was nothing to see in her mind as far as our honeymoon was concerned. She would only show me the image she had seen from the beginning: Bella, cold and white, with the bright red eyes of a newborn vampire. Somewhat reassured, I allowed her to make her plans for our trip without further objections. There was an eternity afterwards which we also had to consider, but more immediate concerns were brought to my attention by Esme.
"You aren't planning on turning her on your honeymoon, are you?" she demanded while I composed my email.
"Not if I can help it," I said firmly.
Esme put her hands on her hips and leveled a hard stare at me. I do not want a repeat of Emmett and Rosalie, Edward!
Blinking at her in surprise, I asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"How many excuses did we have to come up with for all of the supplies we had to buy when repairing the damage they did to our house?"
I scoffed and said, "There's a difference, Esme. Emmett was a newborn, and a freakishly strong one at that. Bella's not going to be ripping any walls down."
"Bella might not, but that's not to say you won't."
I was sure that if I had been a human my cheeks would have burned as brightly as Bella's often did. Glad that Jasper wasn't around to witness my embarrassment, I spoke evenly, not betraying what I was feeling. "She's a human, and unlike Rosalie, I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate me crashing through the walls with her."
"Probably not, but the fact remains: I've seen too many newlywed vampires not to know what to expect. And I don't want this house torn apart!"
Annoyed, I frowned at her. "What do you want me to say, Esme? I promise I won't damage your house. Happy?"
She laughed. "I know you won't. But feel free to damage hers."
Seeing her imagine the purple comforter which covered Bella's bed, my mouth opened in shock. "Pardon me? You're expecting us to move in with Charlie?!"
"Don't be silly. I expect you to move out. Together. Into your own place."
"Oh." I felt a smile tugging at my lips. Though I'd imagined the two of us living together before, it hadn't seemed like something we would do right away, especially since, as a newborn, Bella would need as much supervision and guidance as my family could provide to her. But if she remained human...
Sighing, I shook my head. "Bella is sure to demand that I change her the moment we get back, if not sooner. We can't move out until she's past her newborn year."
You are so blind sometimes. "You don't need to move away. You just need to not live here!"
"Where else do you expect us to live, then?"
"There is the cabin, you know. Or had you forgotten?"
I hadn't forgotten, but I hadn't even considered that option! The property our house was on included many square miles of forest around the main house, but it wasn't the only building that was on our land. There was an old hunting cabin about a mile and a half away from the large house that Esme had designed.
"There's just one problem, Esme. That cabin is far from livable."
She shrugged, unconcerned. "That's easily remedied. The three of us built a house from scratch on the beach. I think our family can handle making that building into a home that Bella would love. Then you'd be free to tear out her walls at leisure. Just remember, you break it, you fix it!"
My mouth twisted into a crooked grin. Our own place! Far enough away from my family for privacy, while still near enough to be a part of the family. I wouldn't have to hear their minds, but at that distance, I could still easily reach for them if I so chose. Likewise, they would not be able to hear us.
"You're just looking for an excuse to design a new house. Admit it!"
She laughed and winked. "So we all get something out of it. Win - win."
We grinned at each other as I watched her memories of our beach house and her ideas for the cabin.
"How long are you planning on staying here? You know that I can't change Bella until we move without the wolves challenging us. Why not save your blueprints for the next place we move to?"
"Carlisle and I were discussing that. You don't really want to leave Forks already, do you?"
I shook my head. There was something about this land. My entire family had fallen in love with our rainy corner of the world the first time we had moved here seventy years earlier. The mountains, the forest, and especially the wildlife all made the Olympic peninsula a very desirable place to us. Add to that the cloud cover and the accompanying rain, which gave us so much freedom, and the temperature, which gave us an excuse for our cold skin and layered clothes, it was as though the place had been designed for us exactly. More than anyplace else we'd lived - barring, perhaps, Isle Esme - this place felt like home to all of us. I wasn't looking forward to leaving.
"We were hoping that, in light of our recent alliance, and your friendship with Seth, an accommodation could be made. It isn't as though you were randomly grabbing some girl off the street to bite - which I think is what they originally feared. You've done everything in your power to prevent Bella from becoming a vampire. She has chosen to join our family with the full understanding of what that choice means. We all also understand what refusing her means, to both of you. Wouldn't they rather see her alive and with us, knowing that she's happy?"
"That's just it," I muttered. "They don't see us as alive."
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. ...thought Carlisle had finally convinced you that you aren't dead!
"I'm not talking about my beliefs. I'm talking about theirs. I know how they see us. Whether or not I agree with them is irrelevant."
"Hmm." She eyed me skeptically.
"They'll consider her dead either way. The fact that she wants it only makes it assisted suicide in their eyes."
"But if that's her choice - "
"It doesn't matter to them! When I change her, I will murder her." And I still couldn't find it in me to disagree with them. No matter how many times or how many ways Carlisle tried to convince me otherwise, I couldn't deny the fact that my heart didn't beat, my flesh was cold and hard as stone, and my body incapable of growth or change. Perhaps I wasn't dead, but how could I claim to be alive?
"Even so," she murmured. "We are not what their ancestors feared us to be. Things have changed, even if we have not."
I sighed heavily. "It's possible that Bella could have convinced Jacob and thus Sam to amend the original treaty. She has done so once before, when we all worried for her safety, but Jacob is gone. Seth is one of the youngest pack members, and as such, has little influence over Sam's decisions. They can't wait for us to be gone. So long as Bella is still alive when we move, they don't need to know anything else."
"All the more reason for you two to live here, in your own place, for a time. Show them that she's still human when you return. Then, when we all move, we can allow them to assume that she will stay that way."
"They'll know."
"They won't be able to prove it. And when we're gone, what will it matter? They won't be able to find us, and we will never come back here."
I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my hand across my mouth as I considered her words. I'd been looking for an excuse to convince Bella to stay human for a while longer. This one sounded like a better one than anything I'd come up with, and it would play on Bella's connection to the wolves.
Unable to stop myself, I grinned at the thought of living alone with my Bella, even for a short time. "Where will we move when we leave?"
She shrugged. "I thought the plan was still Alaska, unless you and Bella really do go to Dartmouth."
I nodded, feeling disappointed that she would be missing that experience. Charlie had been ecstatic at Bella's acceptance in the ivy league college. "Alaska it is, then. We'll only be able to go to Dartmouth if she agrees not to change, and I don't see that happening."
"Which is exactly why you should act as though that is what you were doing. I suggest that you make the arrangements to move to New Hampshire as though you really were going. If she agrees, then you can go there. If not, we'll make it look as though you did, and we will all go visit our cousins for a time instead." Seeing my grimace, she grinned at me, her eyes dancing with amusement at my expression. "I think, with a wife of your own, you might not mind living with Tanya so much."
"Hmm." A wife of my own; how I loved the sound of that! Esme gave in to her laughter as she walked away, and I turned back to the computer to finish my email to our housekeepers before looking up real estate listings around Dartmouth. Either we would move there, or not. And if not, we would make it look as though we were, and having a house to move to made it more plausible.
Bella's newborn year would pass quickly, and once she could be around humans again, there would be nothing stopping us from actually going to Dartmouth if we chose. If need be, I could simply sell the house to myself after we changed names, which was something we'd have to do no matter where we moved or risk being found. That really was too bad; I loved the way Bella Cullen sounded. Perhaps we could go back to Masen. It had been decades since last I'd been Edward Masen. Thinking about it, I decided that Bella Masen sounded pretty nice, too.
I did feel bad for the way Charlie would react as the weeks turned into months with no word from Bella. By the time he checked on her, we would seem to have disappeared. He would never know what happened to his daughter, though he was sure to tell Billy, and the wolves would know that we had run away and why. But what could they really tell him? That we were bloodsucking demons and I had turned his daughter into one, too? Charlie would have him committed if he started talking about vampires.
I supposed it was possible for Billy to have one of the pack prove the existence of supernatural creatures, but what would be the point? We would be gone by that time, and telling Charlie of Bella's fate would only hurt him.
Thinking of Charlie's hurt made me think of Jacob's. Coming to a sudden decision, I picked up the phone and dialed the only wolf I knew of who would be willing to talk with me.
"Hello, Seth," I greeted the young wolf with pleasure when he answered.
"Edward! How are ya, man?"
"Good. Great, actually."
"I bet! Not too much longer to wait, huh?"
"No." I could hear my grin in my voice.
"Everyone's talkin' about you and Bella. From the way it sounded when me and Leah were pickin' up some stuff for Mom, half the town's gonna be at your wedding."
"I hear that includes you?"
"Yup! Wouldn't miss it."
His enthusiasm gave me an unusual feeling of warmth. It had been a long time since I'd had a friend outside of my family, and certainly had never known anyone - other than Bella - who knew what I was and didn't care.
After clearing my throat unnecessarily, I asked, "So who will you be bringing? Alice said you wouldn't be attending alone."
"Yeah. About that. Mom insisted on tagging along. She, er, well, doesn't trust you. I told her she was being ridiculous, but she wasn't going to let me come otherwise and, well, I thought it'd be easier to just tell her she could come, too."
"I'm rather glad she's coming. This way, she can see for herself that we're not going back on our word to your pack. But, you can bring more than one guest if you'd like. We're going to have a band, and there'll be dancing. Aren't there any girls in La Push who've caught your eye?"
He was silent for a long moment, and I worried that somehow I'd offended him. "I'm sorry, Seth. I didn't mean to pry. I only thought - "
"Naw, it's not a big deal." He sighed, but didn't explain, and I was loathe to press him when he obviously didn't want to elaborate.
Most humans took telephones for granted and some would spend all day talking on them, but being used to simply pulling what people were thinking from their minds meant that I always felt nearly as frustrated speaking though one as I did when Bella aroused my curiosity. What was worse was when she edited what she said for what she believed I wanted to hear, as I'd seen humans do as they spoke to one another. How did normal people handle this kind of uncertainty in every interaction?
Eventually, he said, "What's the point in having a girlfriend, when I can never promise her anything?"
Understanding dawned on me, and I said, "You're afraid you'll imprint on someone else."
There was a rustle of clothes, and I thought he'd shrugged. "Leah and Sam were real close, you know?" I wasn't sure what to say, but after a brief pause, he chuckled. "Anyway, at the rate the pack's goin' we'll all have imprinted on someone within a few years, so I'll just be patient and keep my eyes open."
From what I'd seen of imprinting, I wasn't sure if that was something I really would wish on my young friend, but I did understand his hesitancy to form any other kind of relationship. The pack's telephathic link meant that Seth had a first-hand look at his sister's sense of betrayal as well as Sam's remorse in causing it. Of course, Sam had not intentionally betrayed Leah the way I had lied to and left Bella, but regardless of his intent, he had made promises to her which he could no longer keep.
Whether he truly wanted to imprint or not, I knew what it was to be alone, and that was certainly not something I would wish on him. Trying to sound encouraging, I said, "I waited many years for Bella, Seth. I have no doubt your patience will be rewarded. If someone like me can find love, surely you will, too."
He snorted. "Sure, sure. You been talkin' with my mom, dude? Cause you sound like her."
I groaned, "Please don't let my brothers hear you say that!"
He snickered while I chuckled, but when our amusement died, there was a moment of awkward silence.
"So... what's up? Or did Alice tell you I needed advice on my love life?"
"I was wondering if you'd been in touch with Jacob at all."
"Ah. No. He's gone wolf."
"Carlisle said he'd phased and run away, but Jacob told me once that you could still hear each other from hundreds of miles away. Can you not hear him?"
"Oh, we can hear him alright. It's getting him to listen to us that's the trouble."
"Isn't it impossible for you to keep from hearing each other in your wolf forms?"
"Well, yeah. But he's not thinking like a human. We can see what he's doing, like the trees he runs by or the deer he caught, but not much else."
"So... when you said he's gone wolf..."
"I guess it's easier for him to not think about Bella when he's acting on just his animal instincts."
"Hmm."
"What's with all the questions?"
I sighed. "She won't say so, but Bella's worried about him."
"Yeah, she is. She's called here a couple of times askin' about him, but I can only tell her what I've told you. Jake's not coming back. Not any time soon, anyway."
"Huh."
"Why did you want to know?"
"I was hoping you could convince him to come home."
He blew out a heavy breath. "We've been trying."
"I'm sure, but I thought, maybe, if you passed along a message for me..."
"Uh... I dunno, Edward. Jake's not your biggest fan. You really think that he'll listen to you when he won't listen to us?"
"Well, no. But if you could, just tell him for me, please, that I said Bella missed him? It couldn't hurt, could it?"
He sighed. "I'll try."
"Thanks."
