20. Defection

It didn't matter that I was a hundred year old vampire; in that moment, I felt like a scared kid whose dad had just come to save him from the trouble he was in. I opened my mouth to greet Carlisle with relief, but Bella's voice stopped me from speaking.

"Rosalie!"

I stared at her in shock as she ran straight into my sister's arms and started to cry. "What - ?"

...believe you want Bella to abort her baby! What were you thinking, Edward?

I spoke slowly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Rosalie?"

"You know exactly what I mean!" she hissed.

Bella turned in my sister's arms to meet my gaze at last. Her eyes were full of tears and seemed to be pleading with me.

Rosalie's hands rubbed small circles over Bella's back. "You wanted Bella to have a future with a family. Now that you've actually given her exactly that, how can you want to destroy it?"

The words I forced through my throat sounded strangled. "That thing is going to kill her!"

"Thing? It's a baby!" ...and I'm not going to let you kill it.

We were attracting attention already, so I kept my voice low, but didn't bother to keep the snarl from my words. "You're joking. Please tell me you're joking, Rosalie. Tell me you are not seriously calling the creature I put inside of her a baby!"

Rose's steady eyes held mine, and she spoke as though her words were obvious and should have been unnecessary. "Of course I'm calling it a baby. That's what it is."

My teeth bared as I started to close the distance between us. My forward motion was stopped when Emmett's hand gripped my shoulder, and he chuckled nervously as he jostled me. "Hey, Edward. Ease up, bro."

I shook him off, but stayed where I was.

"Is there a problem here, miss?" A human security guard strode over to Rosalie's side and eyed me warily when he heard the low growl that was escaping me.

Edward, not here. Carlisle laid a hand on my arm. As he and Emmett tugged me away from Rose and Bella, my sister turned her charms onto the human man.

"No, thank you for your concern. My brother was just excited to see me."

Excited huh? Not the word I'd use to describe the expression on his face, but whatever. You can lead a horse to water... He shook his head as Rose looked away from him back to the girl who was still crying silently in her arms. "Well, if there's anything we can help you with, just say so."

My eyes were fixed on Bella's tear streaked face. "Bella?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Sorry?" I repeated, confused.

I was vaguely aware that Jasper was spreading a sense of apathy among the humans who were already giving our family a wide berth, that Alice stood immobile, searching the strangely blank future, and that Esme was wringing her hands, her eyes darting back and forth among the lot of us.

With Emmett's help, Carlisle tugged me farther from where Rose and Bella stood. That they were able to do so at all was only because I was completely stunned and incapable of taking any actions on my own. As they dragged me backwards away from the two young women - one blond and pale, the other dark and creamy - I wasn't even aware of my legs moving. I was aware, however, that my immobility wouldn't last, and it would probably end better for everyone involved if we left the airport before I could say or do anything to make an already tense situation worse.

Apparently coming to the same conclusion, Rose turned abruptly and led Bella away. That wasn't right; Bella was being taken from me! I tried to follow them, but found myself restrained. I looked curiously at the arms that wound around my torso. They were the size of tree-trunks, the muscles in them bulging as they strained against me.

"Lemmego, Emmett," I mumbled in a daze.

"I don't think so, little brother. You look like a stiff breeze could blow you over."

"Emmett, we need to leave. Edward? Edward, you need to go with Emmett."

"Carlisle... Wh - What just happened? I don't understand."

"We will figure it all out, son, I promise. For now, we need to get home."

My eyes were fixed on the place where Rose had disappeared into the crowd with an arm around Bella's shoulders. Some part of me heard Carlisle and Esme discussing something about luggage and cars while Emmett began steering me in the direction our wives had gone.

Finding my own feet again, I began to walk faster, no longer needing Emmett to propel me forward. Now, he was holding be back from sprinting in a blurry streak through the crowded airport so that I could catch up with them.

"Let go, Emmett," I snarled.

"Nu-uh. We're walking too fast as it is. Didn't you hear Carlisle? Save it for when we get home."

"She's getting away!"

"Where do you think she's going, wakko? Rose is just taking her home. Come on; the car's over this way."

Carlisle had parked his car a few spaces down from mine, and I let my brother drag me through the parking garage toward the waiting vehicles. When I saw that he was aiming for Carlisle's Mercedes, I mumbled, "The Aston Martin..." Though I didn't exactly care about the Vanquish at that point, it would have been faster.

"Don't worry about it. One of us will get it home."

Carlisle caught up with us as we neared his car. "Emmett, you, Esme, Jasper, and Alice can take the Mercedes. Edward and I will take the Aston Martin. No, I am driving," Carlisle said firmly when I moved toward the driver's side door.

Yanking my arm free of Emmett's hold, I slid into the passenger seat and glared at my father in silence until we were past Olympia and turning onto the 101. He'd concentrated on navigating through the city streets with as much speed as he could and still avoid any police or collisions, but once we were out of the city traffic he turned off the lights and pushed my car to its upper speed limit before finally glancing my way.

Alright, what happened?

Confused and frustrated, I yelled, "I don't bloody well know what happened, do I? One minute, Bella and I were getting off the plane, and I thought you were planning on getting that thing out of her, and the next - "

"No, Edward, I mean the pregnancy. Tell me her symptoms, when they started, anything unusual that you noticed, no matter how trivial."

"What difference is that going to make?"

"I will not know until I can examine her."

I snarled at him, hating his calm composure.

"Edward, you need to calm down. If you want me to help Bella, then you need to tell me what you know."

I swallowed hard several times and attempted to do as he asked. When I was able to speak, my voice was a high whisper. "She started getting sick this morning."

"Has she been able to keep anything down since then?"

I shook my head.

"Not even water?"

I nodded slowly. "For a little while, after the first time. But not since."

"She mentioned a change in her eating habits and her dreams?"

"Well, yes, but... That changed the first night. I mean... She slept so long after... But I thought it was just from the long day, the wedding and reception and... and that night. And after that... Well, people sleep a lot on vacations, don't they? And... and then she ate enough for two humans at every meal I fixed, but... We were hiking or swimming all day. She needed her nourishment."

"From the very start?"

"Yes."

...seventeen days old and feeling movement already? That would put its growth at about a week's worth each day. It is no wonder she is sleeping so much if her body is working that hard. I wonder how soon until she starts showing?

"She already is."

"Already is what?"

"Showing."

"Really? Why did you not call me?"

"I never got the chance. As soon as we saw it, Alice called."

"Hmm."

"What did she see?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, please, Carlisle. Why else did she call? You can't tell me she didn't see this!"

"Alice told me that she saw nothing, Edward. I do not mean she did not see anything; I mean, she saw nothing. First she told me that you and Bella disappeared. Then the future of our family went missing."

I repeated the word in a dull voice. "Missing."

"What did you see in her mind at the airport?"

"I - She - There was nothing."

"That is because there was nothing to see."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I growled through my teeth.

"I do not know, Edward. It could mean any number of things. Right now, it seems that Bella is wanting to keep the fetus. Her wishes combined with your very opposite ones could have shifted the future into so many possibilities that - "

"No, no. No, even when there are many futures available, she sees the various possibilities."

"Then I cannot explain it. But that is not what is important right now." He glanced at me, and I saw my wide, terrified eyes in his mind. Tell me the rest. There must be something else you noticed, some other detail that could help...

I sat back in my seat and stared out of the window, absently running my hands though my hair over and over. "Bella talks in her sleep," I finally mumbled. "She's restless and moves all over her bed. When she has nightmares, she even yells. From the very first night on the island though, she slept like the dead. And much longer than normal. We even discussed the fact! She said she was having vivid, colorful nightmares. That unlike normal, when she knows that she's dreaming, the ones she'd had while we were there seemed real, and that made them scarier."

She was having nightmares the entire time?

I shrugged and thought of the one she'd woken from the night we'd finally made love again. "Some were good. But they had seemed real to her, too."

What else?

"Eggs."

"Pardon?"

"She ate more eggs over the past two weeks than in the entire time I've known her. And with every meal, too. I'd fix her pasta or fish or steak or what-have-you, and she'd eat it all, and still request a side of eggs. Fried, scrambled, over-easy, sunny-side-up, hard boiled, you name it. Sometimes I couldn't cook them fast enough for her, and she'd eat them practically raw." I tried unsuccessfully to hold back my shudder.

"Hmm."

"What does it mean?"

He frowned and shrugged. I honestly do not know.

"Wonderful."

"I am confused about something, though. I was under the impression that Bella did not want children."

"So was I! I specifically asked her about it the night before the wedding! She's never indicated a desire to have one. Seemed appalled by the very idea, in fact."

Well, she is young.

"That was my point to her."

"Bella is an intelligent young woman; surely she knows this is not the normal progression a pregnancy should take."

Despite everything, hearing Carlisle's frank approval of the girl I loved made me feel proud of her and grateful to have won her heart. "I have no doubt."

"Why would she make such a risky move? Do you think she believes she will be able to safely deliver?"

I sighed in frustration. "If you had any idea how often I've wished I knew what she was thinking..."

He chuckled softly. It is the fate of men to be forever baffled by the women in their lives. Welcome to the club.

"Ha. Ha."

"Do not worry, Edward. We will be home in a minute, and we will all talk about Bella's condition." I need you to do something for me, though.

"Name it."

Do not let your temper control you.

I scowled at him, but he stared sternly back at me.

"I mean it, Edward. Yelling at your sister is not going to help anything."

"I'll do my best," I growled.

Abruptly hitting the breaks and cranking the wheel, Carlisle turned onto the long driveway that led to our house. I was grateful that he'd made the trip so quickly. Every second I was away from Bella made my already heightened anxiety worse. When Carlisle parked my car, Rose's M3 was still cooling, the metal giving off small ticks as it shrank back into shape. From within the house, I could clearly hear Bella's heart beating, the soft murmur of my sister's voice, and the distinctive sound of Bella getting sick again.

Bolting into the house, I found the bathroom door blocked by my sister. Remembering Carlisle's warning to me, I kept my voice low, but I could hear the deadly menace in it that seemed somehow worse by the very lack of volume. "Get out of my way, Rose."

"No."

"So help me, Rosalie, if you don't get out of the way, I will make you move."

"Edward," Carlisle's quiet rebuke came from behind me, but I ignored him. I'd done as he'd asked and hadn't yelled, but he was insane if he thought there wasn't going to be some kind of confrontation.

Bella appeared behind my sister and peered around her at me.

"Bella. Love." She was so pale and her muscles were trembling. I wanted to pick her up before she fell, but she was hiding - hiding from me! - behind my sister. "You should sit; you're not well."

Stand aside, Edward. Rose put her arm around the girl I loved. Feeling the confused expression on my face, I took a step back, and then another, and Rose guided Bella past me and into the living room where she sank down onto the couch as if exhausted. I followed them, but as soon as I entered the room, Rose placed herself between me and my wife.

"Bella, what are you thinking?" Unlike whenever I normally asked the question out of curiosity or fascination, the words were said in frustrated exasperation. At the same time, the rest of our family entered the living room, and I could see the four of us in their minds as they looked uncomfortably back and forth between us.

Rather than answer me, Bella looked beseechingly at my sister.

Tearing my eyes away from her face, I snapped at Rosalie, "Well?"

"Bella asked for my help."

"What? When? How? Why?"

As an answer, Rose remembered herself cuddling on the couch with Emmett. I heard the jumble of thoughts she'd been having as she debated between going to play with one of the cars in our garage or dragging Emmett away to play in their bedroom. Just as she turned so that I could see Emmett's grin in her mind, I heard the distinctive ring of her phone. She had let out an annoyed sigh before pulling it from her pocket to stare at my number in surprise.

"Hello?" she had answered warily.

"Rosalie? It's Bella. Please. You have to help me."

Rose snorted with amusement and said, "You've had over two weeks, Bella. I'd have thought by now he'd have at least figured out how it works."

"No, Rosalie. You don't understand. I'm pregnant."

I was aware of Rose's remembered shock.

"That's - Whose is it?"

"Rose!" Bella had hissed. "It's Edward's, of course."

Slowly, my sister had mumbled, "That's not possible."

"I know. But it's true. And I'm scared. Rosalie, he wants... He wants Carlisle to... He thinks it has to be removed, like it's bad, but it's not! I know it's not. Please, Rose. You're the only one who can help me. Say you'll protect us until I can make him see."

Without hesitating, my sister had responded, "Don't worry, Bella. I'll keep you safe. I'll keep both of you safe."

"Thanks."

As she closed the phone, Carlisle had come into the living room with a blank-faced Alice in tow. "Watch her, please, Rose. Jasper and I are going to the hospital. Emmett, I will need your help, too. There has been a development..."

I stared at them blankly. None of this made any sense. Bella had called Rose? When?

Carlisle was right when he had said that Bella must know it was far too early for her to be showing, or for it to be felt moving. Surely she also knew that meant it was dangerous! Well, maybe not. She never saw me for the threat to her life that I was.

Bella folded her hands over her stomach as she had so often since discovering the presence of the bump between her hips. This time though, I saw the action for what it was. Not discomfort. Protection.

"Bella." I shook my head and swallowed hard. "Bella, whatever is it that you think will happen, you're wrong. It's not human! Carlisle has told you what happened to the immortal children. He told you what they were like. I can keep you from killing, but this? No. It's going to destroy the whole town, but it's going to kill you first!"

"No, Edward. You're wrong."

I went to take a step toward her, but Rosalie blocked me with a low growl.

"Move," I said through my teeth.

"Rose, it's okay."

Narrowing her eyes, Rose moved aside, but thought fiercely, Just watch yourself.

I knelt by Bella's side and took her face in my hands, pleading with my eyes that she see reason. "Bella, listen to me. If I was a human man, I would love nothing more than to know that you carried my child. God help me, I've longed for it, even though I knew it was impossible!"

"And you were wrong about that, too." Her sweet voice was firm with her conviction.

"No, Bella, I'm not. That is not a child you carry! If I was a human, you'd barely know you were pregnant by now."

"I know."

"You wouldn't be showing for Pete's sake."

"I know."

"And you certainly wouldn't be feeling it move!"

"Edward, I know all of that."

"Then explain to me how you can possibly believe that it's going to be any kind of normal?"

She debated for a moment, chewing on her lip. "I can't."

"Can't? Or won't?"

"I can't explain it. But I know I'm right." She caressed her protruding stomach while I stared at the bump in horror, aware that it was already slightly bigger than it had been that morning. "It's our baby, Edward; it's us. It's crazy and impossible and irrational, but it's also good and right. You'll see."

Good and right? How could something that was going to kill her be considered good? Would I ever understand her? I stood and backed away from her, shaking my head. "Alice!"

My sister was still locked in her own mind, searching vainly for a future she couldn't see.

I strode over to her and shook her lightly. "Alice! Wake up!"

"She won't," Jasper said in a dull voice. "We've tried. She's been like that all day."

I spun back to Bella and pointed at my unresponsive sister. "There! Do you see?"

"She always does that when she's seeing the future," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"She's not seeing the future, Bella!"

"Huh?"

"There's nothing there."

Jasper sucked in a sharp breath. "What do you mean?" Carlisle told me she said she saw nothing, but...?

"She's not having a vision. The things Alice sees have been flashes, or still images, or complete scenarios that play like a movie, but there's always been some kind of a visual. Always. Her mind is there, I can feel it, but it's like she's searching for something that doesn't exist. There's nothing to see because there's nothing to be seen."

Bella frowned and looked away from me. "That doesn't prove anything."

Nearly growling at her in my state of fear induced fury, I said, "You don't have a future anymore, Bella. That proves plenty."

"No, she just can't see what it is. Her visions have changed before; you've told me so."

Low, so that Bella couldn't hear, I muttered, "Jasper, do something. Make her see reason."

Esme gasped my name in shocked disapproval. At the same time, Rosalie shrieked, "Don't you dare!"

"What?" Confused, Bella glanced from me to Rosalie and back.

"He was trying to get Jasper to manipulate you into doing what he wants."

"No, I wasn't," I denied.

"Well, what else would you call it?"

"I'd call it bringing her to her senses! What she's doing is utter madness!"

"Edward, that is not the right way to handle this, and you know it," Carlisle chided me.

"Then what is the right way, Carlisle?" I snarled. "Should I just let her bring a demon into the world?"

"Don't call him that!" Bella pleaded.

Ignoring her, I continued to address my father. "You know the Volturi won't abide this."

Slowly, Carlisle nodded before agreeing with me, "He is right, Bella. The Volturi will never allow an immortal child to live."

"And who's going to tell them? You?"

"That is not the point," Carlisle said. "Rosalie, you and Bella are putting the whole family at risk."

Rose scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Like their entire relationship hasn't done that."

"This is different. It is one thing for us to chose to risk our lives to save a member of this family. It is quite another to assist one or more of them in committing suicide." He looked at me significantly.

"Suicide." Bella huffed. "I don't want to die, Carlisle. But I won't let you take my baby, either!"

"Maybe this doesn't have to be an either/or situation," Esme said, laying a hand on Carlisle's arm. "Isn't there any way that we can help Bella to have her child safely?"

The alarm was pouring off Jasper as he stepped forward. "And what happens after? Have you given any thought to what a vampire child will need to eat?"

Bella smiled and stroked her stomach. "Sure. You all get on just fine with animals. So will he."

"He?" I choked.

"You've seen newborn vampires, Bella. Even as adults, they are ruled by their instincts. Drinking animals is a choice we have all made, but it's not exactly natural. What you are carrying will not be interested in deer. I guarantee you that."

Nodding, I gestured toward my brother. "Jasper's right, and you all know it."

Esme shook her head. "No, I do not know it. But I do know that it's not right to kill children!"

"Humans end pregnancies all the time."

"As if that makes it right."

"It does when not doing so threatens the life of the mother!"

Carlisle turned to Esme and placed a hand on her cheek. "Dearest, it is in your nature to want to protect children, and that is a wonderful thing. But as a doctor, there are times when I have to help my patients to make the choice that does them the greatest good. Or, failing that, the least harm. Ending a pregnancy that is not viable is sometimes necessary. If Bella's pregnancy were ectopic, even if the fetus were fully human, it would have to be removed."

"That's not the same thing, Carlisle!" Rosalie shouted.

"Yes, it is!" I yelled back. "It's exactly the same. An ectopic pregnancy would kill Bella, and so will this."

"I think you are deliberately overlooking one simple fact, Edward."

"And what would that be?"

"Bella wants to be a vampire."

We all stared at her, stunned. My sister had always fought against Bella's plans. Of all my family, she had voted no when Bella had asked to join us on our return from Italy. Rose had tried to convince her to remain human, had told her in vivid detail of her own transformation and the events which had led to it, and had explained how being a vampire made her feel: frozen, stagnant, futureless. Childless.

"This isn't about Bella at all," I realized.

"No?" Show me another pregnant woman around here.

"Exactly my point, Rose. How convenient that the girl you never wanted to join us is carrying the thing you have always wanted more than anything in the world."

"Hey," Emmett protested, frowning. "That's not fair. The baby is Bella's, not Rosalie's."

"And if Bella just happens to die in childbirth?"

"Of course Mister Overreacts-About-Everything would see it that way." Rose gestured angrily toward me. I snarled at her, but she continued undaunted. "Have you forgotten what Emmett looked like when I found him? You already planned on changing Bella. Once the baby is born, you can change her, and the venom will repair any damage he might do. She doesn't need to survive the birth, just the pregnancy."

Bella's already pale complexion grew slightly green, but she clamped her teeth together and nodded, staring at me with pleading eyes.

Rose is right, Esme thought.

"She is not right!"

"Of course she is," Bella whispered.

"No, she's not! I can't reanimate a corpse, Bella!"

"You won't have to! I can do this. I know it. I feel it."

I glared at her in silence, trying to find a way to convince the most stubborn creature on the planet to see reason. Giving up on that endeavor - for the moment - I tried to make my family agree, instead. If we were a united front against her, perhaps she would relent.

"This doesn't just threaten her, it threatens the entire family. Whether she survives the birth or not doesn't matter when its mere existence assures her death. Our deaths. The Volturi will hunt us down and kill every one of us when they find out about it. Removing it saves all of us."

Stubborn as always, Bella insisted, "The Volturi don't have to know."

"Do you think you can hide mass murder? Even before the days of television and the internet, they knew, Bella. They always knew!"

"Our baby won't be like that." She shook her head and rose from the couch, reaching for me.

I backed away from her, unable to bear the thought of her pressing herself against me and feeling it between us.

She stopped moving toward me, and tears filled her beautiful, chocolate eyes.

Feeling bad for hurting her, I crossed the room and took her hands in mine, but I still couldn't pull her against me. "Bella, please. Just listen to me for once! What you're carrying has grown within two weeks what should have taken it three or four months. Months, Bella! In another three weeks, four at most, it's going to be fully developed."

"That's exactly my point! Don't you see?" She squeezed my hands with a hopeful smile on her lips. "I won't have to wait for long. I can handle three weeks of being pregnant. A little discomfort is normal for any pregnancy, only I won't have nine months of it. I just have to hold on for a few weeks, and then it'll all be over."

"The human body isn't meant to accommodate such rapid growth. It's going to rip you in half!"

"You don't know that."

"I do know it. I've seen it!"

"Huh?"

"I told you, Bella. The Ticuna have their own legends. Kaure either saw it happen, or was told about it in vivid enough detail that I could see it in her mind. The demon that clawed its way out of that woman left her for dead before the Ticuna killed it."

Her face paled, but her lips pressed together in a hard line. "You said that they were lies. Legends meant to entertain."

"That's because I was trying to reassure you at the time," I snapped.

Pulling her hands from mine, Bella turned to address my father. "Carlisle, what you told me of immortal children. Was that a legend, or were they real?"

"I assure you that it was quite real. I met those children."

"And their defining trait, what you said was their biggest problem, what was that?"

"They were uncontrollable. They couldn't be taught."

"Uncontrollable? I don't think so. I believe you said they were unchanging. Trapped in whatever stage of development they were in when they were turned."

He assented to her clarification with a nod of his head. "As are all vampires."

She placed a hand on her stomach. "He's not like those ones you knew. He's changing, growing."

"That may be true, Bella, but neither is it like a human child. We have no way of knowing what it will grow into."

Bella's eyes were fierce when she looked back into his. "So, because you don't know, you want to kill Edward's child? You want to kill our baby out of ignorance?"

The room was silent, but I heard her words echoing in every mind in the room, especially Carlisle's. I watched him remember his centuries of saving lives, of fighting his nature to become better than what he was. I saw him remember the look on my face when I returned to him after four years of murdering humans. And I saw an old memory, one which I had only rarely witnessed: newborn Carlisle, gazing at his reflection in a still pool from which he had just gulped handfuls of water, trying in vain to quench his thirst. My father was remembering what he'd looked like with the vivid red eyes of a newborn vampire.

"No." Realizing I was seeing him picture himself as a killer, I shook my head. "Don't. Carlisle, please."

"Bella is right about at least one thing, Edward. Right now, we are ignorant. Despite its rapid growth, there is time. Let us not be hasty to make a decision that you may regret for eternity."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Carlisle." Her shoulders slumped, and her eyes glazed over. I realized she'd been up for many hours by that point and needed to sleep, but Rosalie stepped between us when I instinctively reached for the tired girl.

"You should rest, Bella," she cooed.

"Rosalie is right," Carlisle said. "You have had a long day. Get some sleep, and I will examine you in the morning."

Bella nodded gratefully and let Rose guide her toward the stairs. I watched helplessly as my sister led my wife away from me to her and Emmett's room so that she could sleep in the bed there.

"Oh!" I spun to stare at Alice, whose mind was suddenly filled with images once more.

The essential decision to wait made, my family's future was no longer unknowable and blank. The images that used to be as clear as if they were happening right in front of her were blurry and fuzzy instead. She began rapidly blinking her eyes, as though trying to bring them into focus, and I realized I was doing the same thing.

Alice saw my family fighting, but the words were nonsensical. She saw my father and brothers poring over piles of books, gazing at the computer screen for what were apparently hours on end. I watched myself yelling at Rosalie. Flinching at the images in her mind, I saw her picture my face again and again. I looked deranged, and I didn't like it. But Bella, Alice couldn't really see, and that was far worse. I was aware of a blurry blob on the couch and guessed that it had to be her, but it was as though someone had taken a negative of a photograph and ruined it during development or smudged a thumbprint over the lens before the picture was taken.

Alice blinked once more as the visions finished. She met my eyes, confused. Why is everything so blurry?

"I wish I knew."