I'm so tired. I shouldn't have made us all go try and help save Ciel. We only got in the way, and everyone got hurt, even me.

The only one who seems to be doing okay is Travis, who just took a few days off and then went back to school. In fact, he seems to be doing fairly well. He talks more, and does more stuff. It's like a switch was hit, or something, and that he's all of a suddenly outgoing.

It's nice, because as for the rest of us, it's hard to even get out of bed. Well, Preston really can't get out of bed, right now. He still hasn't woken up yet. It's been weeks since we were at the castle, and he's still at H.E.L.L.S.I.N.G. undergoing some kind of treatment. I have no idea what they're doing to him. They won't even let us see him. Travis has been kind of keeping us all together and helping us out. Things have changed, and not in a good way, really.

It's hard to go home after school. Kristopherson's there, and things haven't been going to well since I… had that little lapse of judgment. I hurt him. I hurt him really bad. What's worse is that he blames himself for what happened to Preston. He thinks that because Preston was protecting him, that it's his fault. It isn't. It's mine. None of them should have been there, but I made them. It's my fault. All of it.

What happened to Preston and how depressed Kris is? That's my fault. Preston won't wake up, and Kristopherson can't even bring himself to fix his appearance anymore. He doesn't put any effort into his outfits anymore, and he's letting his stubble grow in. He won't even bleach his hair. I don't know what to do about that. It hurts to watch, and it hurts to be the cause of it. I want to tell him that it wasn't his fault and help him, but… I'm too scared to even talk to him anymore.

I don't know where to even start. I… I took his first kiss from him and then kinda rejected him, after all. I'd be pretty upset about that too, even if I didn't like the person. I've been thinking about it, though, like, how he reacted and stuff. He looked like he wanted to cry. I don't think I'd cry about something like that unless… well, unless I actually kinda liked the person. Kris wouldn't, either, but he did. It makes me wonder if maybe… if maybe Kris had feelings for me at some point…

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those guys who think gay blokes are like, thirsting after every guy they meet, but could that have been it? Maybe I totally put him in the friendzone and didn't even know it? I'm really not good at picking up on stuff like that, not even with Anna. That's a tricky situation to be in, if that's true; having a crush on your guy friend who's dating your sister, and he kisses you without really meaning it. I don't think I could've done that, but knowing Kris, he probably could. Even with his prissy attitude, he's one of the toughest guys I know. Well, toughest humans.

Wait, I don't even know if that's true. I'm kind of getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I dunno, it's like the thought of him liking me makes me kind of… happy, I guess? I don't really know why. I mean, Kris is really attractive and all, but he's still a guy, and I don't know if I could… y'know… be with him in that sort of way? There's no way, there's no way... Besides, my parents would kill me if I did. I just can't like guys.

It's been bothering me, though. When I see Kris all upset like this, I just want to give him a hug, or something. I really want him to smile in a way that's not forced. I wanted to ask Alois about it, but I ended up asking him something weird, instead. Him and Ciel are just so happy together. I'm kinda jealous.

When I got back to the flat, Kris was sitting on the couch watching TV in shorts and a T-shirt. His hair was a mess, and I could tell that he didn't go to school again today. He's been skipping a lot, lately, and it makes me kind of mad. He wanted to become a designer more than anything, didn't he? Shouldn't he be putting more effort into it? He did at the beginning, but then… then Black Annis happened… I guess this is my fault, too… His passion to make clothes is even gone… It's all my fault

We don't talk much. I usually go to my room and do whatever when I get back from school. When I need to do something, I just sorta sneak around like I'm going to get in trouble if I'm caught. We were best friends, but now we're this. I don't know why he hasn't asked me to leave already. I want to ask if that's what he wants, but the way he looks at me when I walk in the door is just… I don't think I should leave him alone.


A/N: Hey... Daniel makes me sad...

There were lots of questions about how Dan was doing, or what he was feeling, so I was like "Well, why not have him tell ya?"

It's a bit more complicated than what could be fit in "character shet" y'know? I still don't think I got it well, but then again, he's really, really confused about everything.

Anyways, questions for moi?"

"Are you hype for Book of Circus? Damn, I just felt the rush when I saw the preview. And my favorite voice actor voicing Joker. Ahh" by bluejellyfishOuO

YES. Ciel is adorbs and I want to squish him, the animation is gorgeous, and I can already tell that I'm probably going to cry. I'm feeling and really don't know what to do, yo... I don't fangirl about things and I can't deal with this...

Can't wait to see Ciel scream about touching a boob.

Until the next chapter, my duckies~!


CHARACTER SHET

Question: "So which classes is Alois taking, and who are the professors for those classes?" by Honeycloud of RiverClan

Alois' Answer:"I can only be part-time, because of work, but I'm taking World Civilizations with Professor Kidsworth, College Math with Mister Robinson, and Intro to Biology with Doctor Greggs. It's all just SO exciting..."

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Question: "for Ciel, Alois, and Sir Integra "How do you all view each other after the Black Annis incident? How did you view each other before?" by KuroshitsujiLover22

Ciel's Answer:"I was still a bit on the fence about Integra, I'll admit. I liked her a lot more than I did, before, but we still weren't, and sort of aren't 'friendly'. She did take really good care of Jim, and helped him when I couldn't, so I owe her. She's... strangely kind. I still love Jim, and I just want to spend time with him. I feel like I need to make up for my absence, and because I couldn't help him against Metus..."

Alois' Answer:"Integra's really nice, and is a lot more playful than I thought. I was kind of intimidated by her before, but now she's kind of... I don't want to say 'like a mum', because tht's both untrue and totally weird and creepy, but I feel like I can come to her for things that I can't with Sebastian. As Ciel, I stil love him to death, and it's so cute how he's being all clingy, lately, but I'm a little worried. We haven't, you know, fooled around any since he's gotten back. I know he still loves me, but I wonder if something happened to him..."

Integra's Answer:"Both of them are still about the same. Still, I must say that I'm impressed with their resolve. Jim's intelligence and productivity has exceeded expectations, and Ciel's strength and overall sense of humanity has also been astounding. Never in my life did I think I'd see Ciel Phantomhive shed a tear for another person, but obviously, I was wrong."

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Question: "Miranda, what do you know of elves?" by RapunzelInTheSnow

Miranda's Answer: "Not a whole lot. Their biology is somewhat of a mystery, since we can't get a hold of any specimens, but we do know that they live for hundreds of years, but aren't immortal. They're fairly calm and docile, so we really don't get any calls about them. They've blended in fairly well with humans, and just seem very tall with funny-looking, slightly pointed ears, which can easily be covered up. We know that even with this, they still prefer the company of other supernatural beings, and often use their ability to blend in order to help others in the supernatural community who cannot, since resources are made hard for them to come by. I feel bad for non-agent supernaturals... They have it really hard..."

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Question: "For Sebastian: Any particular reason the Rolls Royce was your favorite?" by kwiluvu

Sebastian's Answer: "The Rolls Royce Phantom is a beautiful car... It's outside appearance is not too modern, but it's not outdated, at the same time. It has a certain regalia to it. It handles very well, and drives smoothly without any unnecessary attachments..."

Alois: "Please, don't get a car-boner right now..."

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Question: "Alois, what made you actually go to the restaurant that Metus suggested? And was it any good?" by Vannaluv

Alois' Answer: "I dunno. I was curious, so I looked it up, and it just seemed perfect! We didn't actually get to eat there, though, because of a car-chase... It's like the world is conspiring against me to make sure that I fail at trying to impress Ciel..."