Disclaimer: You know the story! I don't own anything, I'm just having a little fun...

A/N: This one goes out to all the lovely people at IST!

And I would like to thank Thirteen Senses, The Fray, A Perfect Circle, Pete Yorn, Sarah Bettens, Sia, Pink Floyd, Dashboard Confessional, Feeder and various other bands for the inspiration when I needed it...

Special thanks to Moby, who helped me with the title;)

Title: Everloving

Author: Taya

Everything was still quiet when Samantha Spade entered the office. She knew she was way too early, but she didn't care. There had to be something here she could do to distract her and keep the thoughts from returning. They had haunted her all night and robbed the time that had been left for the much needed sleep. But the lack of sleep was not the thing that worried her most, it was meeting him again. She wasn't sure what she would say or do and how he would react when he saw her.

She put her bag down next to her desk and took a seat. A quick look on her watch calmed her a bit. It was still half an hour before the others would be here. She could already see their questioning faces and hear Danny's remarks. It was not anything she was looking forward to.

"What have I done?" she sighed and buried her face in her hands.

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Flashback: The evening before, Jack's apartment

"Hey! I'm glad you could make it at last." Jack said when he opened the door for her to enter his apartment.

"Sorry, I know I'm late, but I forgot something at home and then I didn't get a cab at first. But here I am. Is everyone else there already?" Sam asked as she handed Jack her jacket.

"Yeah, I think so." He sighed and smiled at her, "My apartment is far to small for a party like this. I shouldn't have listened to Danny. He talked me into all this birthday party stuff."

"Well it is a special occasion, isn't it?" She smiled back and paused for a moment "I know I said this earlier today, but happy birthday to you again."

She gave him a quick hug then and followed the voices of the other guests into Jack's living room.

The room was rather crowded, which didn't make Sam feel very comfortable. It were mostly people from work and a couple of private friends she didn't know. She saw Anne talking to Vivian in one corner and was just about to head for them when someone tapped on her back.

"Hey, beautiful. We were worried you wouldn't show up" It was Danny. She didn't have to turn to recognize him. They had know each other for far too long for that. But when she turned she looked directly into his grinning face. She hadn't expected anything else.

"Hey! I'm a bit late I know, but I would never leave you worried." She smiled. That was when she spotted Martin. He was coming up to them. They exchanged a glance and she knew that something was different tonight. She wasn't sure if it was him or her, but she could suddenly feel the butterflies in her stomach. Her eyes began to glow and she smiled shyly, but her gaze quickly shifted to the ground to hide it. She was flustered by the sudden emotional outburst. She kept telling herself that she was over it when he reached them.

"Hey, Sam. Danny, here's your water." He handed his friend a glass and held his own bottle of beer.

When his smell reached her and she heard his voice all that had happened between them over a year ago was suddenly back. She was fighting to regain control over her emotions.

This was so ridiculous. She had seen him about three hours ago and everything was fine. Why now? She didn't have an answer, but she felt his glance sticking to her figure.

"Ah...Sam, you want something to drink?" She heard him ask. He was nervous, she could sense that.

"A beer would be great." She said and finally lifted her eyes to face him.

Danny looked at both of them and smirked, but remained silent.

-------------------

The tension had been unbearable that evening and Sam was sure she had never felt anything like that. She knew they had both been under the influence of alcohol when they had left, but that didn't help her explain what had happened before. How it had come this far.

They had ended up at his place and that was basically the only difference to the first time when they had shared the cab after solving the Palmer case.

Leaving Jack's party quite early when it was still busy had been a good idea, but she was sure Danny had seen them leave together. He often noticed what was going on between his friends sooner than they themselves did.

Sam leaned back in her chair and let out a deep sigh. She wasn't sure how it could go on between her and Martin. They couldn't just ignore what had happened last night, but she was so tired of getting her life in order just to have it mixed up again by some incident. And this was not just some incident. They had slept together, twice.

Afterwards when Martin had already been asleep she had lain awake for at least half an hour. She wasn't sure if this was what she really wanted. They had been thrown back right to where they had begun the first time and she didn't want it to be like the first time. The more she had thought about it last night the more fear had been welling up in her. She didn't know where exactly it had come from, but she had eventually reached the point where she panicked and had stolen out of Martin's apartment without waking him. She had taken a cab home and gone into her own bed. But sleep had not come. She had cried a lot last night and when the tears had stopped for a minute the thoughts were there to replace them.

The thing that made everything even worse was that she didn't know what Martin was thinking about all of this. She always pictured the worst scenarios in her head: That he didn't want her in particular, but that he was drunk and she was there or that it was just sex and nothing more. He wasn't the kind of guy to do that, but she couldn't get rid of those ideas.

She knew they had to talk about that in due time, but she wasn't sure she was up to it. And she was very good at avoiding people she didn't want to talk to.

"Morning, sunshine." Danny leaned over the edge of her bullpen and seemed to be in a good mood.

"Oh, hey. I didn't see you coming." Sam was pulled from her thoughts and turned on her computer to pretend that everything was okay.

"You don't look like you got much sleep." There it was. Sam knew that a hint had to be coming, but she had expected Danny to wait a little longer with such a remark.

She was just about to say something when Viv and Martin stepped out of the elevator. Sam swallowed, but her mouth was dry.

Danny turned around to see what had caused Sam's face to petrify. When he saw Martin he noticed that the question he had just asked Sam had been inappropriate. He caught the glance that was exchanged between his friends and knew that something was not right.

He decided to ease the tension a little bit by asking a casual question.

"Has anyone seen Jack and Elena already?" It was a stupid question, but it helped. Sam was released from her paralyzed state and turned her face to the computer screen, Martin shook his head and sat down on his chair and Viv came over to Danny and Sam.

"No, I haven't, but it's still early. They'll turn up in a minute." Viv said and then looked at Sam. "Where have you been yesterday? I haven't seen you after 11."

Ouch, was all Danny could think.

"I..." Sam shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I wasn't feeling well."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're feeling better today."

Like hell I do, was what Sam thought. She knew that Viv meant well, but she really didn't want to be the center of attention today and she didn't want any sympathy. So she simply nodded and turned back to her computer.

-------------------

It was a quiet day at the office and Sam was glad that there was little chance she would have to talk to Martin. As there was no case Jack couldn't send them investigating in the field together and in the office there was always somebody around.

It was in the afternoon that Sam rubbed her tired eyes for the hundredth time that day and got up to get herself a coffee from the break room. Her back was sore from sitting the whole day and her legs protested. She should have seen this as a sign, because when she entered the room Martin was standing there all alone. Sam wanted to turn around, but she knew he had heard her coming in and her pride forbid her to walk away.

"Hey," He tried to sound as casual as possible, "you want one, too?"

"That would be nice." She answered and they remained silent for the rest of the time.

He handed her the cup and she instinctively prepared herself for what she knew was coming.

She took the cup, blocked all her emotions as good as she could and held her hand up to silence him before he had said anything.

That of course didn't stop him.

"Sam, we need to sort this out..." She could see that he was struggling to keep his composure. So was she. She bit her lower lip and forced back the tears.

"Not now." Was all she could say before she headed out of the room.

-------------------

Sam didn't head back to her bullpen, but to Jack's office. She knocked at the door.

Jack look up for the papers in front of him and invited her with a gesture to come in.

"What is it?" He asked while he took off his glasses.

Sam didn't want to beat about the bush.

"I need three weeks off."

Jack was surprised and didn't respond at first.

"I still have three weeks, haven't I?" She asked unsure what his facial cast was supposed to tell her.

"Yeah, sure." He said, but he still looked at her with concern. "May I ask why you need the three weeks all of a sudden?"

Her uneasiness was written in big letters over her whole body.

"I...," she sighed, "I really need them, please."

He stood up slowly to get a better look at her. She seemed desperate and he was not going to deny her some time off, but he wanted to know what was going on with her. Although he had an idea about that.

"This doesn't have anything to do with what happened yesterday night, does it?" He asked.

Sam gasped for breath which made it impossible for her to answer that question.

"Sam, I'm not blind. You and Martin were the only guests that left without a word yesterday and I could almost see the tension in form of a thunderstorm between you two today. So it's not far-fetched to assume that this has something to do with Martin."

"It has, okay? And I really need some time to figure some things out. It's very complicated and honestly I don't want to talk about it right now."

Jack slowly nodded. He knew that this was all he would get out of her. She was very stubborn when it came to that.

"Alright. You get your three weeks, but I want you two to sort this out before you come back. I don't need personal problems affecting the team, understood?"

He realized that this sounded stern, but he knew Martin and Sam better than they thought. Sometimes they behaved like children, especially when it came to feelings. They needed a deadline.

Sam nodded and left his office.

Jack sank back into his chair, put the glasses on his nose and sighed.

"Interoffice dating..." He said to himself before he turned back to his work.

End Chapter One...