61. Normal
If Alice had shown me this future, I would have believed she'd lost her gift entirely, perhaps her grip on her sanity as well. Yet here I sat, wearing Bella's wedding ring on my finger, while my beloved wife sat beside me with our daughter on her lap, and her father, who knew none of us were human, casually sat in our living room, watching a football game with Emmett .
My own father left the doorway at last, exchanging an incredulous look with me as he crossed the room to join the two in front of the television. He seemed far more at ease than Charlie, who sat stiffly, as though he had a gun at his back.
Reclining in his chair, Carlisle asked, "Who are they up against?"
"Tennessee," Emmett answered absently, on alert for the next opportunity to turn another maneuver into a sexual innuendo. I doubted he'd have long to wait. Football was rife with phrases that seemed designed to be turned into a lewd joke.
I wished everyone would follow their own advice and sit since Charlie was. Their hovering was irritating and unnecessary. Bella wasn't going to do anything. Charlie was perfectly safe. Admittedly, he was also far too absorbed in his inner turmoil to pay attention to Esme and Rose, who stood on either side of the kitchen doorway like Greek sentinels, or to Jasper, standing by the stairs with his eyes locked on Bella, or to Alice by his side, staring at nothing while trying to see how the day would play out.
Something needed to be done. They all needed to relax; then, maybe Bella and Charlie would too.
As soon as I made the decision to open my mouth and speak, Alice saw me suggesting to her that they sit, too. I shared a grin with my favorite sister when she dragged Jasper over to the couch. He took the cushion beside us while she took the floor in front of him and began chattering animatedly at everyone. Her high-pitched voice cut right through the announcer's commentary with stats on her favorite players and previous games and this year's line up compared with last year's and a detailed explanation for why the teams' jerseys desperately needed her help.
Beside me, Bella shifted Nessie to her other leg and pretended to breathe. I tried to pull her close and ended up pulling myself closer to her, but I planted a kiss in her hair all the same. She made it seem so easy, but she had to feel the fire in her throat the same as we all did.
I inhaled deeply, intentionally subjecting myself to the scents she avoided. Charlie's stood out, a beacon fire on a mountaintop, sending tongues of flames licking at my throat. Beside me, Bella's sweetness mingled with Nessie's, soothing and delightful. Around us twined my family's, a familiar blend as complex as our relationships. Underneath or behind theirs was the wolves', sour and musty, like the still air of an old forest.
Not all the scents were pleasant, but I rather enjoyed the way they mingled - vampire, half-vampire, human, and werewolf. All different from one another, potential and past enemies, yet existing peacefully together as family.
More or less.
Leah certainly wasn't pleased by the idea of remaining tied to us, and seeing Charlie sitting with us as though he approved of Bella's change infuriated her. She'd expected him to be repulsed by Bella's choice, to revile me for damning her to this existence. Wasn't it obvious what we were? What else did one associate werewolves with, if not vampires?
She ignored my glares when she came in to speak with Jacob. Charlie was oblivious to her pointed looks, unknowingly ignoring her as completely as she ignored me. He knew she was there, though, and that Seth left with her. Later, when he had time to think about it, Charlie would surely wonder what their role in our lives was. Neither of them was Jacob's age, nor friends with Bella.
When he thought Carlisle wouldn't notice, Charlie snuck glances at him.
Except for his pale skin, my father seemed completely human. He got into the spirit of the game and perched on the edge of his seat, shouting at the television when the Vols scored as though the players could hear him, indulging in a heated debate with Alice over her picks to go pro, and jumping to his feet to cheer with Emmett when Florida won.
Renesmee was fascinated - with the colors of the television and the game it showed, with Carlisle's and Emmett's enthusiasm, and especially with Charlie. She was content to stay on Bella's lap for the time being, but I wasn't sure how long that would last. He was so interesting! And she was so curious.
When the program began repeating the same commercial for the fifth time, Renesmee decided she was bored with watching them watch television and was ready for her next meal. She pushed her little hands against Bella's cheeks, and through her eyes, I saw the red peeking through Bella's contacts.
"I think somebody's hungry. Bella, love, you've held Renesmee all morning. Why don't you take a bathroom break while I fix her some lunch?"
She must have understood what I meant. Her hand flew up to touch just below her eye. But instead of getting up, she sat motionless and stared pleadingly at me.
...she's afraid, Jasper thought in surprise.
With the immunity to the scent of blood she had demonstrated so far, what could have her so frightened? She hadn't reacted when Nessie'd had breakfast before. Bella claimed to need Nessie to keep herself calm, but I thought she was doing a fine job of that on her own.
"Edward," she said, low so Charlie wouldn't hear, "I can't. I won't move right. I'll walk too fast, and he'll see."
"You'll be fine," I whispered back. "You're such a natural at this. Just be yourself."
The line between her eyes deepened, and her head shook back and forth.
I leaned close to her to put my mouth against her ear so that Jasper - and especially Emmett - would not be able to hear what I said. "You won't feel awkward if you don't overthink it. Just do what comes natural. They made you self-conscious with all their advice, but trust me, love, you move exactly right."
She pulled away just far enough to look into my eyes. She sucked in a breath and then swallowed hard and blinked, as if she had completely forgotten that inhaling would hurt. Her contacts chose that moment to succumb to her venom and disintegrated. The red of her eyes was so bright, Charlie would see it from across the room if he were to look over at us.
Standing, I placed myself between them, just in case, and offered her my hand. "Come on, Mrs. Cullen. Let's go feed our daughter."
Her eyes narrowed and her mouth twisted. "You just like saying that, don't you?"
I answered with a grin, and she look my hand and let me pull her up, as if she needed help with the baby in her arms. I slid my arm around her waist, and we walked together to the kitchen, her steps smooth and flowing and perfectly in sync with mine. Charlie's eyes followed us out of the room, and he was struck once again by the shock of seeing Bella's chocolate eyes - their exact shade and shape - when Nessie peered at him over Bella's shoulder.
Our daughter, I'd said.
He looked back at Jacob, his brow furrowed in renewed confusion.
"Don't worry, Charlie, everything's fine," Jacob said cheerfully.
"Need to know," Charlie repeated, though it sounded like he was reminding himself more than Jacob.
Rose and Esme had hastened into the kitchen when I'd iterated Nessie's complaint of hunger and were already getting her cup ready when Bella and I entered. Without a word or breath, Bella handed Nessie over to Rose and headed to the bathroom to replace her contacts.
When she left the room, I turned to beam at my mother. "She's incredible, isn't she? I mean, I thought so yesterday, but..." Wordless, I gestured in Charlie's direction.
"Edward," she said as she came over to wrap her arms around me. I wanted the chance to tell you. I am so happy for you. She is wonderful, more than anyone could have hoped. I couldn't be more pleased that you found someone who is just as special as you are. You're too good to be alone forever.
"Stop it, Mom. You're making me blush."
I'm serious! She pulled away to take my face in her hands and give me a stern glare.
I was taller than she, so how was it my mother could still make me feel like a child?
There has been enough of grief and misery in all our lives. It's time and past time that it was over. You have so much to be happy for. Be happy, Edward.
"I am." I took her hands from my face and folded them against her chest. "Esme, I am happy."
I shook my head in confusion. Bella, too, had worried that I was sad. Could they not tell how elated I was?
When Esme glanced over to where Rosalie stood, feeding Renesmee, I understood. The perfection of our lives was marred by the truncated life span of our only child.
Nearly a century later, and Esme still grieved for the loss of her infant son. She always would, no matter how we all tried to fill that hole he'd left behind. She worried for us, for how Bella and I would take such a loss. Bella had been willing to give up her life with me so that Nessie could live. What would she do if – when – her child died?
Renesmee's very existence seemed so impossible, as amazing and unprecedented as her mother, I had to believe there was more to her life than a moment of carelessness on my part. She was too perfect to be an accident. A higher power must have had a hand in her creation. There was no other explanation. I may not have understood God's plan for us, and had certainly strayed from the path He'd set me on more than once, but I believed there was a purpose, a reason for her to be here.
There had to be.
Maybe it wasn't given to me to know what fate had in store for my child. How was that different from any other parent? Like Charlie, I didn't have to know everything, just so long as I was lucky enough to have a part to play in her life. If there was a way to save her, we would find it. And until time took her from us, Renesmee did live. Enjoying her while we had her seemed a far better use of my energy than mourning her before she was gone.
"Don't worry. Everything will work out. You'll see." I gave her my biggest smile, trying to convey my surety in the brightness of our future.
Bella came back into the kitchen then, her eyes brown once more, and giving me a smile that would have stopped my heart if it still had a beat. Such beauty seemed impossible. She wasn't real. She was a dream, a fantasy. If I closed my eyes, would she be gone when I opened them again? Quickly, as if to blink, I did close my eyes and was floored anew to see her still there when I looked, smiling and reaching for my hand.
Almost, I could resent our family and the need for us to spend time with them. God knew I was grateful for Nessie, but Bella's fingers intertwining with mine made me wish we were entwined other ways. Smooth as glass but soft and yielding to my touch, warm instead of scalding hot, but certainly not cold, and all but indestructible, Bella was dazzling, intoxicating. I wanted her, and I didn't want to have to wait.
I'd waited a century for her already. Hadn't I waited long enough? Why did we dally, here, in this kitchen, when we could be alone together in our very own home?
From someplace far away, Esme's voice reached me, asking, "So how is Charlie handing all of this? Edward? Ah… Edward?"
"Fine. He's fine," I mumbled and brushed the back of my fingers down Bella's cheek. "You are so beautiful."
Since Renesmee was not yet finished, Bella held her breath and didn't answer, but she reached up to run light fingers across my lips. I ached to taste hers but knew I wouldn't be able to stop with her mouth, not now, and leaned close to plant a kiss on her forehead instead. She leaned into my kiss, and I could feel the strength in her just by the way she pressed back against me.
Giving up on mentally getting my attention, Esme pointedly cleared her throat.
There was a benefit to waiting, I supposed. Anticipation made everything better. I would just have to hope Charlie didn't want to stay too late. Bella's nights belonged to me.
"He's fine," I repeated. "Jasper helped keep him calm initially, but he'd rather be in Bella's life."
"Yes," Esme said with a touch of impatience. "I figured that much out already. What does he think about everything else? Us, Nessie, the secrecy? Are you sure he isn't… suspicious?"
"Of what? He knows we aren't human."
"Which will lead to him wondering what we are."
"No. He doesn't want to know."
So he says.
"He truly doesn't. Mostly, he's been trying not to think about Jacob."
Bella had not been pleased with Jacob's stunt and made a face at my amusement, but she worried needlessly. Charlie was tough. It would take more than a shock like that to do him harm. Nevertheless, turning into a giant wolf in front of someone was bound to stick with that person, and every dogfood commercial sent his pulse racing.
"Mostly?" Rose said sharply. "I saw him eyeing Emmett and Carlisle. What's he thinking when he's not dwelling on Jacob?"
"Well, right now he's thinking that Maryland's gonna get their butts kicked."
"That's not helpful, Edward."
"Like I can help what he's thinking? He's watching the game."
"What's he been thinking, you idiot! What about us?"
I shrugged. "It's hard to tell with him. He isn't very loud, unlike some people I know."
"Esme, are you sure I'm not allowed to murder him? I mean, absolutely positive?"
"Well, what are you expecting, Rose? You think he's looking for fangs or evidence of dead bodies in the corners?"
"Is he?"
I scoffed.
"Edward," Esme chided softly. "Will you please answer the question?"...and stop being vague?
"Look, I'm not being vague. There isn't much more to tell you. Bella, you probably should thank Jacob. Charlie's not thinking about vampires or radioactive spiders or any other crazy thing because he's too busy trying not to think about werewolves." I grinned at the face she made. I liked that she didn't want to feel grateful to him. "Other than that," I shrugged, "he doesn't know what to think. We seem human to him."
I didn't want to tell them the one exception to that statement. Bella was too obviously not human to his eyes. Whereas he had tried to covertly study Carlisle, he purposely avoided looking at Bella. He seemed more frightened of her than the rest of us. I wondered if that had anything to do with his instincts telling him that she was the most dangerous creature in the room, or if it was simply because it was his daughter who looked so foreign.
Carlisle excused himself to join us as Nessie was finishing. It was time to measure her again. While they were busy, Esme cleaned the bloody cup, and when they were done, she and Rosalie changed Nessie into some clean, and slightly larger, clothes. The ones she'd put on this morning were already getting too snug.
"And me?" Bella asked when they left, willing to breathe again without the presence of exposed blood in the room. "What's he thinking about me?"
"He loves you. He just wants to be in your life."
The corners of her lips turned down and the line between her eyes deepened.
Cupping her face in my hands, I tried to rub the worry away with my thumbs the way I had once dried her tears. I was so happy with her change; I didn't want her to regret it now. Eternity together was ours, and I knew she wanted that, but life with me had always meant certain sacrifices on her part. Because of Jacob, forcing her father to lose her was one that could be put off for many years.
Blast Jacob for adding to her stress anyway! He could have waited a day or two for Bella to get used to her new self before springing Charlie on her.
And what good was having Charlie physically in her life, if he couldn't stand to look at her? She had wanted to be a vampire so much, had even joked about wanting to become a monster like me, but that didn't mean she had been prepared to see revulsion in the eyes of her own father when he saw her new body for the first time. So often humans found that when they finally acquired the thing they had coveted, they no longer wanted it.
"Don't be sad," I pleaded. "Charlie is here, and he wants to stay. You are all that matters. What you look like, what you are now, it isn't important to him. Once he gets past the shock, he'll accept it, just like he accepted our marriage."
"He doesn't like it, but he'll deal?"
"Essentially. And if this all works out, he can deal with us for a very long time."
She breathed easier, but her mouth twisted as she shot a glare into the living room. Very quietly, she growled, "And Emmett?"
Yes. My brother would be brought to a reckoning, there was no doubt of it, but at least Charlie was beyond noticing that we were the subjects of his humor. "He's not paying him any attention. Too many other things on his mind."
Slightly mollified, she accepted my reassurances, and when the others came back with our daughter - Bella and Nessie reached for each other right away - we all returned to the living room. The smiles she and Charlie exchanged were hesitant but genuine. He'd never expected to like seeing her holding a child, but now that we had one, he thought it was rather nice.
The picture they made brought another to his mind, when it had been Bella who'd been the child and Renee who'd held her.
Renee…
Jasper looked at me sharply when he detected a spike of fear in Charlie. It wasn't Bella or any of us he was afraid of now, though. It was the thought of explaining any of this to Bella's mother that had him terrified. And what if she came here? He'd been on the phone with her more over the past two weeks than the past seventeen years combined. How in the world was he going to explain what had happened when just yesterday Bella had - by all accounts - been at death's door?
Maybe he would just lie. There seemed to be a lot of that going around.
Of course, marriage to the son of a doctor did have its advantages. He could, truthfully, claim ignorance as to what had ailed her as well as what had cured her and simply credit Carlisle with being a great doctor. Bella was better and that was all that mattered; did Renee need to know how?
"There, see?" I whispered when we were seated again. "He's fine."
Jasper nodded in unconscious agreement as he felt Charlie calm himself down.
I leaned back and put my arm around Bella, and was pleased to feel her shape herself against me. She'd been sitting as stiffly as her father before, but now that she had been somewhat reassured as to his state of mind, she could relax into my embrace.
Renesmee was not so at ease. She'd lost her interest in football hours ago and Charlie was off limits. We didn't have any toys, though I doubted she would play with them if we did, but giving her more silverware to mangle was not an appropriate way to entertain a small child, half-vampire or not.
"Esme," I said, "do you think you could find a picture book for Bella to show Nessie?"
Oh! Yes, of course… She nodded and got up from the chair she'd just taken. Jacob frowned after her when she left the room, arguing himself out of following her and helping her choose a book. She came back with one on the flora of the Olympic peninsula, full of high resolution pictures, some extremely close up and others showing entire fields of flowers.
...say goodbye to that book…
Charlie kept waiting for the sound of ripping and when it didn't come, finally looked over at us. Bella's and Nessie's heads were close together as they bent over the book, the deeper chestnut mixing nicely with the brighter bronze.
When Bella first opened the book, she let it naturally fall open to a page bearing a photograph I recognized as one of Esme's favorites. Renesmee was entranced by the image and examined it for a good half hour. When she looked farther, it was the book's construction that caught her attention, and at first, she ignored the content for how the individual parts made up the whole.
A typical three month old - as Nessie appeared to be - might explore such a book by mouthing it, then covering it with drool, and finally, ripping it to pieces. They would not have carefully grasped the glossy pages and turned them one by one, nor studied the images on them with such intelligent interest. As Charlie watched, she pinched a corner between her forefinger and thumb and turned a page, having seen Bella do the same only once.
...younger in some ways and more mature in others, huh. Younger how?
Charlie turned back to the television more uncomfortable than he'd been when he had initially looked our way.
...ain't the first odd thing I've seen… been a lot of strange goings-on, especially lately. Like all those bear attacks… Cullens weren't even in town when those were happening… but Jacob was.
The image of a giant wolf flashed in his mind.
The bears that the locals had mistakenly reported seeing had been linked to bloody human deaths and disappearances, which had actually been caused by Victoria and Laurent. The enormous animals had been spotted; the vampires had not. Charlie'd seen the so-called bears' tracks. They'd been huge, but they hadn't exactly looked like a bear's print.
And then Bella had come home, terrified by an encounter with a pack of huge wolves. Not long after, the bear sightings had stopped, and so had all the killings.
It was one thing to prefer ignorance regarding what his daughter and her weird new family were. It was quite another thing to turn a blind eye to human murders. He made a mental note to go back to the clearing where Jacob had changed to see what kind of prints he'd left behind. If he found proof that his best friend's son was involved in the gruesome deaths of those hikers, he would be duty bound to do something about it.
But this is Jacob… Jacob. ...just about the most wholesome kid I've ever met… can't be involved… but how many other kinds of giant wolves are there?
First, he had to speak to Billy. Well, after he checked out those prints.
The new direction of his thoughts disturbed me. How far would Billy's explanations go? Surely he'd feel compelled to defend his son against any accusations of human murders, but how could he do so without implicating the creatures who were truly to blame? It may not have been us, but it was our kind who had killed, and once the topic of vampires was broached, he could easily figure out what Bella had become. Bella had identified me with less information.
Even without his suspicions regarding the hikers, Charlie was certain to say something to Billy. He'd just seen his best friend's son turn into a wolf! He couldn't let that go without saying something. Keeping our secret didn't mean he couldn't talk to Billy since, according to Jacob, Billy already knew everything. He would go along with the public lie, but that didn't apply to someone already in the know.
Charlie didn't want to know everything, but if there were deaths involved, there were things he needed to know. His eyes narrowed as he realized how this new information would complicate his police work. From now on, he'd be wondering if there was a supernatural element to any difficult investigation. Scratch that. To any investigation.
I had essentially told him I would lie or we would leave if he pressed me for the truth. But he could ask Billy. While they were on the subject of werewolves - a shudder ran down his spine as he unwillingly thought the word - he might as well bring up us. If we wouldn't tell him what we were, then Billy surely would. He hadn't liked us from the start. Charlie knew, now, that those feelings had been based on the knowledge of what we were, not just superstitious nonsense.
"Alice," I hissed, making sure Charlie couldn't hear. She, too, had finally relaxed, and had ceased her incessant jabbering. She was sitting at Jasper's feet with her head resting on his knee, enjoying the flow of emotions he was sending her way. She glanced up at me, and I cut my eyes in Charlie's direction, but she shrugged unconcernedly and settled herself more firmly against Jasper's leg.
He'll live, unless someone else does something incredibly stupid. He's gonna leave in a few hours.
"But what about after?"
He'll be back.
"I mean between now and then," I said through my teeth.
Oh, you know, go home, eat, watch more television, sleep…
She looked back up at me, her eyes twinkling with laughter, but this wasn't a joke!
Fine, she huffed and closed her eyes.
At first there was nothing, which I attributed to the continued presence of the wolves, or at least Jacob. He was bound to accompany Charlie when he visited Billy. Would Charlie feel too constrained by Jacob's presence to ask Billy the questions I feared? Or would he say his suspicions regardless? Would I have to wait until tomorrow and hope to read whatever he learned from his thoughts when - if - he came back? Or should I leave my family for a few precious hours, follow him home, and eavesdrop? It wouldn't be the first time I'd hid in the trees outside of Charlie's house to listen in on his conversations.
But then, the familiar yellow kitchen blossomed behind an image of Charlie's face, glowering over his beer at Billy. His old friend sat calmly across from him, wearing a serene smile as he sipped from his own beer and then gave a deep sigh of satisfaction. There was a woman in the background I recognized - Sue, Seth and Leah's mother - who seemed to be cooking for them.
"Fishing's been good," Billy commented absently.
Charlie's eyes narrowed.
"Yep, real good. And Sue knows the secrets to Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry," he raised his beer in honor of his fallen friend, "so I hope you brought your appetite."
"What are they, Billy?"
"I don't know," he complained. "Sue seems as determined as Harry was to guard that recipe, like it's some sacred family tradition. It's just a fish fry, woman!" He banged the table with his fist in mock fury. She didn't appear to notice.
"No, Billy. What are they?"
"The Cullens?"
Charlie nodded once.
"Bella didn't tell you?"
Charlie scoffed, a grimace of irritation contorting his face.
For a long minute, Billy didn't answer. Then, "It's not my place to tell the Cullens' secrets."
"Oh, come on! Don't give me that crap."
"Bella knew what she was getting herself into. You've known the Cullens for years. And you know Bella."
"I thought I knew her," Charlie mumbled sourly.
"At some point we have to trust our children to find their own way."
"And what about Jacob, huh? How do you feel about his... thing?"
"It is a great honor to be a protector of our tribe."
"The… tribe. Do… did… ah… do you…?"
"No," he laughed and shook his head in regret that such an honor had not been his. "No. Sometimes these things skip a generation or two. But my grandfather, and many of my ancestors, were among the Spirit Warriors and could become their wolf-selves."
"Spirit Warriors."
Billy nodded, and I could see in his face his pride in his people.
"Is that what the Cullens are? Some kind of guardian spirits - "
"No!" He looked abashed, as if he'd said the word with more vehemence and anger than he'd meant to.
Charlie pressed his advantage. "But you know what they are. You knew when they got here."
Slowly, Billy agreed, "Yes."
"And you didn't like them! You didn't trust them! Hell, Sue quit the hospital just because Dr. Cullen worked there!"
"Charlie - "
"And Jacob and Edward, there was more between them than just rivalry over a girl."
Billy sighed.
"He knew this was going to happen, didn't he? And you. You knew, too. Didn't you? Didn't you?"
"Yes. We knew what Bella and Edward were planning."
"And you tried to stop it!"
"And I'm glad we failed!"
As Billy's shouted words sank in, Charlie eased off the table where he had been leaning toward his friend in unconscious accusation and slowly sat back down. "If you knew what they are and didn't trust them, how can you expect me to?"
"Because Bella does."
Charlie grumbled something unintelligible.
"Listen to me, Charlie. There is evil in this world, and there is no denying that. You're a cop; you've seen some of it. And recently, a lot of it. But whatever else they are, the Cullens are good people."
There was a long pause before Charlie spoke again. "Just tell me one thing, then."
"If I can."
"Is she safe?"
"Yes," he said immediately. "I believe so. As safe as anyone can be. You don't need to worry about Bella. Jake's pack will help the Cullens keep an eye on her; she'll be fine."
Blinking rapidly as she came back to the here and now, Alice looked back up at me. Satisfied?
Mostly reassured, I shrugged and settled back into the couch. If he confronted Billy about the dead hikers, it must happen when one of the wolves blocked Alice from seeing it. Or maybe she didn't see that part of their conversation because it didn't concern us. Billy would keep our secret. What he did with his own was his business.
Renesmee was aware that we had communicated something, but explaining mine and Alice's gifts was a challenge for another day. The others were also aware that Alice and I had communicated, though they had a better idea of what and how.
Deciding the best way to answer my family's silent questions was with my actions, I cupped the back of Nessie's head in my hand and planted a kiss on her little forehead, then one on her mother's, then stood and strolled from the room with a smile. By that point, West Virginia's win was a sure thing, and the game had been uninteresting in any event. Emmett's innuendos were getting worse; I was quite sick of them already and doubted he'd ease off any time soon. Bella would remember to change her contacts or Alice would remind her, she could walk to the bathroom to do so on her own, and neither she nor Nessie needed my help to keep Charlie safe.
I made my way to my piano and sat down with a happy sigh. The last time I'd tried to play, I'd been unable, what with Bella's looming death and the imminent birth of the demon she carried. It was a relief to touch my fingers to the keys again. I wanted to fill the house and surrounding woods with the loud, joyous tones that were in my heart. Well, perhaps later, when Charlie had gone.
For now, maybe something a little more discreet, like the soft, sweet lullaby I'd written for Bella. I barely touched the keys, thinking of how my beloved, newly awoken just yesterday, had turned the pages of the book Esme'd given her. That Nessie hadn't ripped the book to shreds was nothing compared with the fact that Bella had not torn a single page either. The book was as pristine now as when Esme had handed it over.
There was enough strength in Bella's fine, shapely fingers to pulverize rocks into dust, but her touch was as gentle as a butterfly's kiss. The lullaby that had been about a fragile girl didn't quite fit the woman Bella was now. I found myself straying from her song as I tried to capture the impression of delicacy and power she exuded, tucking in some deeper rumbles and adding a few higher, tinkling variations around the original song's simple patterns. Bella's biggest strengths were hidden, secrets that one only caught hints of when she didn't realize they were showing.
As if my playing was cue for everyone else to switch tasks, Esme brought out her charcoal and some paper, positioned herself where she could see my wife and daughter, and began sketching their faces. Rose took my seat, and when Bella needed to change her contacts for a third pair, she took Renesmee from her, more than happy for a chance to cuddle. Renesmee was pleased to share the pictures from the book that she'd liked best, and the two kept each other occupied for some time after Bella came back - her eyes brown yet again.
Even Carlisle gave up his pretense of watching the end-game show. The front room wasn't exactly on the way to his library, but he detoured to stand in the doorway and watch me. Almost, I feared he was going to take me to task me for being negligent yet again, but I didn't need to glance at him to know there was a smile on his face. After the tension of the last days, it was encouraging to see him at ease and apparently as confident in Bella's astounding control as I was. He was not at all upset that I had left Bella's side. Rather, he seemed proud that I displayed such faith in her.
I shifted to a different song, one I'd begun composing when I was not much older than Bella and finished many decades later. It had been intended as a tribute to the man I admired above all others, whose approval I always yearned for. At the time, all those long years, I had believed I would never attain it. Images of this past year flickered through his thoughts as he watched me play: our family's faces in various states of worry or distress. The contrast between now and even yesterday was dramatic. He thought of Esme, relaxed and smiling, surrounded by their children and even a grandchild.
His approval of Bella had never been a question. We loved each other, and that was good enough for him.
Knowing how much it pleased him to see me happy, too, I looked away from the keys to give him a grin.
When his song ended and I moved on to play Esme's favorite, he headed upstairs to his vast library and hauled out a large text on the regenerative properties of various lizard species. I guessed the werewolves' rapid healing continued to fascinate him.
Our family, plus Jacob and occasionally Seth, had just watched two football games as well as the after shows and commentary, yet no one had made mention of food. Especially with a big guy like Emmett, Charlie would have expected beers and pizza, chips and dips, burgers and dogs - my fingers nearly lost their rhythm as my shoulders shook with silent laughter - but the only one of us who'd eaten at all had been the baby.
No one had offered him so much as a glass of water! Or had one for themselves.
When the thought of hunger first crossed his mind, I considered saying something to Esme about feeding him. She loved any excuse to cook and would happily have fixed enough to feed all of us. I refrained though, no longer quite so concerned with seeming human in front of someone who knew we weren't. If he was truly bothered by his hunger, he'd say or do something about it, or at least think about it in a more concrete manor. I was aware of thirst too, but that didn't mean I needed to quench it that very moment.
With the start of the news program, even Emmett lost interest in watching and challenged Rosalie to join him in building a house of cards worthy of having its walls knocked down, leaving Charlie and Jacob as the only ones sitting in front of the television. Charlie was about to give in and say something about getting something to eat when he caught sight of Seth loping across the lawn, wearing his familiar, easy grin.
"Yo, Charlie," Seth said after he threw open the door. "Let's blow this popsicle stand. I just talked to my mom, and she said Billy netted a bunch of fish this afternoon. Mom said she's cooking, and they'll be at your place in, oh, 'bout fifteen minutes. So let's go, let's go!"
"Sue's cooking, huh? Can't say no to that, I guess."
"Yeah, that's what I wanna hear. C'mon!" He clapped Charlie on the back - Charlie winced at the force of the blow - and bounded back outside, shouting for Leah.
But Charlie didn't move. Ten minutes later, Seth came back inside to find Charlie still sitting, staring at the television he wasn't truly watching.
"You gonna stand Billy and my mom up, Charlie? C'mon. Bella and Nessie'll be here tomorrow. Let's get some grub, eh?"
"Sure, sure," Charlie mumbled and stood, slowly, as if in his bones he felt like the grandfather he suddenly was. "Right behind ya."
He exchanged a few uncomfortable goodbyes with everyone and made for the front door, beyond which his cruiser, and reality, waited. Bella followed him, Nessie sleeping in her arms.
"See you later, Charlie," I said as he passed through the front room.
He stopped mid-motion. He'd heard hints of music coming from another room after I'd left, and had seen my piano before, but had been too preoccupied to put the two together. There had been no practice scales or sour notes that went with a typical student's lessons. It'd seemed as if someone had turned a radio on. It certainly hadn't occurred to him that I would be the one playing.
"Edward." He frowned at me and wanted to say something else, but his mind couldn't settle on anything specific, so he simply grunted and continued on his way.
Before they'd left the living room, Jacob was already headed for the kitchen. I guessed the mention of food made him realize how hungry he was. Apparently, he didn't plan on joining his and Bella's dads for dinner. I supposed that would make their conversation about the dead hikers easier than accusing Billy's son of being involved in a series of murders while that son stood there listening. Charlie was relieved that Jacob wasn't joining them, believing Billy would feel freer to speak when not under observation by the one being discussed.
And maybe after he had some answers, he could call Renee. And proceed to lie to her. If we were going to be co-conspirators, he thought we should probably all be telling the same lies.
"I don't know how much we should tell Renee about this," Charlie said as he hesitated in the doorway.
"I know," Bella agreed. "I don't want to freak her out. Better to protect her. This stuff isn't for the fainthearted."
"I would have protected you, too, if I'd known how. But I guess you've never fit into the fainthearted category, have you?"
I laughed under my breath. It was better that he didn't know how many times I'd tried - and failed - to protect Bella. She didn't need protection anymore. All she needed now was encouragement and support. Maybe that's all she'd ever really needed. If I'd stopped trying to protect her - from myself, my world, and the life she'd chosen - maybe I'd have discovered earlier that she didn't need protecting.
"I'll think of something," he said when Bella didn't give him any advice on handling her mother. "We've got time to discuss this, right?"
"Right."
He stretched and rubbed absently at his growling stomach. He'd been sitting all day and was stiff as well as hungry. They'd barely spoken after his initial bombardment of questions and accusations, but now all the things he wanted to say hung between them. With one foot out the door, he felt the need to reconnect with her.
"Jake says you guys were going to take off on me."
"I didn't want to do that if there was any way at all around it," Bella said. "That's why we're still here."
Charlie heard the thickness of the emotions in her new voice and wanted to believe her, but the past weeks of uncertainty left him with a need to confirm that his little girl wasn't going to disappear once again.
"He said you could stay for a while," he pressed, "but only if I'm tough enough, and if I can keep my mouth shut."
"Yes… but I can't promise that we'll never leave, Dad. It's pretty complicated…"
"Need to know," he said, giving her an easy out.
"Right."
"You'll visit, though, if you have to go?"
"I promise, Dad. Now that you know just enough, I think this can work. I'll keep as close as you want."
Like I'd told her: A kid moving off to college or the like could still come home to visit. That much was a normal part of being human, both the leaving and the visiting. Us leaving forever was not something he was prepared for, not after what she'd already put him through. He recognized that losing her completely was far worse than putting up with any physical changes she could go through, or pretending to believe whatever lies went along with them.
Sensing that the distance between them wasn't solely on his end, he extended his arms and leaned in for a hug, cautiously, as if unsure if she would welcome one from him.
Fingers moving automatically, my attention focused on Charlie's mind, I held my breath and watched through his eyes as Bella set her jaw, her mouth pressed into a firm line of determination, and wrapped her free arm around her father. Through their clothes and the pressure of his own hug, he felt the icy temperature of her skin and the rocklike hardness of her delicate-seeming body.
He refused to acknowledge any of that. She was and would always be his little girl and nothing less. "Keep real close, Bells. Real close."
"Love you, Dad."
They pulled apart, and he said, "Love you, too, kid. Whatever else has changed, that hasn't."
With the worst of his shock behind him, he looked closely at the child in her arms. She was undeniably Bella's, even with her tell-tale eyes shut. He reached out to touch her cheek, and was surprised to find it was warm and soft.
"She sure looks a lot like you."
"More like Edward, I think," Bella countered. Then she added, "She has your curls," which was as much an acknowledgment of Nessie's real parentage as Charlie was likely to get.
"Huh. Guess she does. Huh. Grandpa." I could feel a shift within him as he accepted it, his new role, an ease to the way he thought the word that had never been there before. Grandpa... "Do I ever get to hold her?"
"Here," Bella said, without seeming to think about it at all, though I had no doubt she'd quickly weighed all the possible risks and concerns before handing her over.
Most babies got passed around, the new parents eager to give friends and relatives the chance to fawn over their child. Most parents didn't have to worry about more than a little spit-up. If she were to wake and be surprised to find herself in his arms, there was no telling what her reaction would be.
Laughing, I thought she'd probably be perfectly fine, and all our caution and worry would once again have been for naught. Nevertheless, I watched Nessie's thoughts carefully as Bella placed the sleeping child in his arms. She was unaware of the transfer and stayed asleep.
He grunted as he took her weight. "She's," ...heavier than she looks… "sturdy. Sturdy is good," he reassured Bella when she frowned over his word choice. "She'll need to be tough, surrounded by all this craziness."
The teasing tone in his voice made me smile. If he could joke about how odd we were, he must not be so bothered. Another week or so, and he, Billy, and the two wolf packs might be barbecuing in our back yard. I could just imagine Emmett trying to entice everyone into a friendly game of backyard pickup.
Swaying slightly, Charlie rocked and bounced his grandchild, the way humans instinctively did. "Prettiest baby I ever saw, including you, kid. Sorry, but it's true."
"I know it is," Bella said with pride in her voice.
There weren't words enough to express the joy I felt. My heart tried to say it in the only way I knew, at least until Bella and I could be alone again. As my fingers flew across the keys, Charlie cooed at the child I'd given Bella, a tender smile on his face.
"Pretty baby." And just like that, he was smitten. "Can I come back tomorrow?"
"Sure, Dad. Of course. We'll be here."
"You'd better be." His smile held no trace of the admonition in his voice. "See you tomorrow, Nessie."
"Not you, too!"
"Huh?"
"Her name is Renesmee. Like Renee and Esme, put together. No variations."
If it wasn't for the shot of fear her fierce expression gave him, Charlie would have laughed at her insistence, but the words, Okay, Isabella, died before they reached his lips.
Jasper zipped across the house and positioned himself close behind the door where Charlie couldn't see.
...it comes here it comes here it comes… better do something this time, Edward… Charlie won't heal and if blood gets spilled come on come on…
Resolutely staying where I was and ignoring Jasper's chivying and worry, I watched Bella through her father's eyes as she visibly gained control of herself.
"Do you want to hear her middle name?" Bella asked without a trace of irritation in her voice.
Alice appeared by Jasper's side and tugged him away. He went with her willingly, but stared over his shoulder at Bella as he walked away.
"Sure," Charlie said.
"Carlie. With a C. Like Carlisle and Charlie put together."
I was glad she'd waited until now to tell him, when he'd already been won over and could truly appreciate the gesture.
"Thanks, Bells," he said with a huge grin.
"Thank you, Dad. So much has changed so quickly. My head hasn't stopped spinning. If I didn't have you now, I don't know how I'd keep my grip on - on reality."
How easily frustrated I was! One would think that by now, I'd be used to not knowing what was in her head, but I caught her change of phrase, and wondered what she hadn't wanted to say to him.
His stomach gave another loud rumble, and Bella said, "Go eat, Dad. We will be here."
As reluctant to hand Nessie over as everyone who'd had the pleasure of holding her, Charlie placed his granddaughter back into Bella's arms. He looked past her into the house where his eyes traveled slowly from me at my piano, where I was still playing without pause or falter or sheet music for reference, down the hall to the living room where he'd spent the day surrounded by people he'd known for years, some of them their whole lives, but who were not what he'd believed them to be.
We were like an optical illusion, a painting that seemed to be one thing, until suddenly one looked at it differently and it became something completely different. The lighting was the same, the background and the materials used, all was as it had been. Only the observer changed. With effort, the original image could still be seen, but always it would be overridden by their awareness of the new one.
We weren't human. He could see it now, even if he didn't know exactly what to look for. Nothing about any of our activities was wrong, or inhuman, but there was something not … right.
It had been growing all day, the realization that nothing in the world was what it seemed. He shuddered as he wondered what else he'd missed or dismissed. If his best friend's kid could turn in to an animal and his own daughter had changed - physically, completely, into some thing - what other crazy creatures were there? Was nothing a myth?
"See you tomorrow, Bells. " He looked closely at her expression and saw that his reaction to his new knowledge seemed to reflect how he felt about her. "I mean, it's not like you don't look… good. I'll get used to it."
"Thanks, Dad," she mumbled with a twist to her lips. It wasn't exactly the kind of compliment I would have given her, but he'd tried.
As he drove away with images of Nessie, Bella, and Jacob in his thoughts, it was hard to know what surprised me more: Charlie's acceptance of our inhumanity, or Bella's very human behavior. I supposed since she acted so normal, it was easier for him to treat her as if she were.
