"You can't save everyone, you know."
He turned round in surprise. He hadn't said a word to her about the thoughts flying round his head. But she knew.
"Elton's mum, you tried." She spoke softly, and stepped towards him. He looked down into her upturned face, and wondered if he would ever tire of her. Sometimes he thought he knew her inside out, knew every last inch of her by heart. And then she'd do something he didn't expect, and he'd find himself wondering at her all over again. "You saved Ursula. Sort of." She shrugged. "You save a lot of people. Don't beat yourself up over his mum." He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "And don't tell me I don't understand. Because I do."
He couldn't help smiling at her. "Understand what?"
Rose gestured widely with her arms. "This, all of this. This… helping people, saving them all… I know why you do it."
He raised his eyebrows curiously.
"The Time War." The words she spoke sent his face crashing down again, and he could feel himself turning away from her, ever so slightly. "And don't turn away from me, you always do this." Rose caught his arm. "It's okay to be sad, you know, it's okay to… to move on and enjoy your life."
"I do enjoy my life." He did. He did now he'd found her. He felt the usual rush of feelings towards her, and wanted to hold her, wanted to tell her everything he felt. That she'd shown him how to live again, how to throw yourself into life with abandon. That she'd chipped away at the walls he'd built up around himself, that she'd unlocked everything about him when he thought the key had long been discarded and lost. She was his life.
"Then why don't you let go sometimes? Stop being so… so hard on yourself. It's not your fault people die."
"I could have saved her though."
"And you've managed to save hundreds of people before." Rose touched his face gently. "You've saved the world so many times. People die all the time and people could have saved them. Do you think they spend the rest of their lives brooding about it?"
He shrugged, not sure what to say for possibly the first time in his life.
Rose smiled gently and hugged him. "You're a hero, Doctor. And even heroes have off days."
He hugged her back. He wasn't a hero; he was just a man running scared from the things he'd seen and done. A man trying to make it all right in the world. And yet somehow, when Rose was this close, this young girl made him feel like he'd succeeded, like he'd really made a difference. He only remembered the good he'd done, instead of the mistakes and disasters. She made him feel like a hero.
