63. New Day, New Life

The morning sun found Renesmee through the filter of her sheer curtains. For the first time in her life, she opened her eyes to an empty room and was quite surprised to find that our family wasn't crowded into the small space, waiting for her with smiles of greeting. She looked around with interest at the room she'd only glimpsed before succumbing to sleep last night.

I wasn't sure how long Bella had stood with Nessie's little hand pressed to her cheek, watching her nonsensical dreams before laying her in the bassinet Alice had chosen, but I'd have been willing to stay there all night if she'd so desired, even at the expense of forgoing a night of love-making. Just to stand with my arms around Bella while she cradled our sleeping child was a precious experience, one to be cherished. I'd run my hands across her flat tummy, marveling that the babe she held had grown there.

When we'd noticed the first flush of light creeping onto our room, we'd known Renesmee would be waking soon and had ceased our amorous activities. While we waited, it had been extremely pleasant cuddling Bella against my chest, her naked body pressed against the length of mine while we idly played with each other's hands. I'd thought of all the times she'd slept in my arms, only swaddled in thick blankets to protect her from my cold skin. It was incredible, the difference a lack of clothing made. The most innocent of contact gave me an exquisite pleasure. My acute awareness of her bare skin, of every inch of her gentle warmth and firm body, magnified even the slightest shift of her leg or arm.

"She's awake," I murmured into Bella's ear.

She made a sound somewhere between dismay and anticipation. I didn't think she was quite ready for us to leave our bed either, but she was surprisingly devoted to mothering the child she'd claimed - prior to her conception - not to have wanted.

Before I was aware she'd moved, the covers were billowing around me, and Bella was throwing open the doors to the closet. I snickered as she marched right by all the bags without sparing them a glance, head held high as she headed straight for the dresser where more appropriate clothes waited.

Although pleasantly disheveled, the bed and bedding had survived. Smirking at the thought of what Emmett would say if he knew that not only had we managed to not knock our house down for a second night in a row, but neither had we destroyed the bed we'd actually used this time, I quickly retrieved clothes for myself and was only steps behind Bella as she scooped Nessie out of her own bed. My grin broadened when I remembered that he'd lost his bet with Bella, and couldn't have said a word about the state of our bed if he had known.

Renesmee hadn't been distressed by her solitude, merely interested in the novelty of being alone while she studied the strange objects in her room. The toys Alice had arranged by the chair drew her attention. She had no idea what their use was; there had been nothing that resembled them in the large house. She was nevertheless quite pleased to see us and returned our smiles with one of her own. She'd grown again, making me wonder how many nights use she would get out of it before Alice upgraded her from the bassinet to a larger bed. Knowing my sister, the new bed would have four posters and be draped with lace to match the window hangings.

"I imagine Alice and Rosalie will have a selection of clothes waiting by now, and no doubt this little monster will be ready for breakfast by the time we get there."

"Yeah," Bella agreed as I gave Nessie's forehead a quick kiss hello. "I"m sure she will be."

For the moment, however, Renesmee seemed more interested in looking having a look around the cottage than sating a hunger she didn't yet feel. Our little home was cozy and much more colorful than the only other house she'd ever known, and she wanted to discover what all it held.

When she expressed that desire, Bella said, "We'll come back and let you explore after you've eaten, alright?"

I winked at Bella and said, "Jacob hasn't seen our cottage, either. We can let him have a look around too."

The smugness I felt at being able to show off the home Bella and I shared might not have been all that honorable, but there was no point in denying how much pleasure it gave me to have such an opportunity at all. It could so easily have been me visiting their home at some point in the future, rather than the two of us, here and now, living together as married parents with eternity together to look forward to.

The prospect of seeing Jacob right away decided Renesmee, and she let Bella know, with a dizzying display of Jacob's face from various angles, that she missed him and was quite ready to reunite with her warm friend. The tightening of Bella's lips and narrowing of her eyes at Renesmee's enthusiasm made me chuckle. I loved her newfound irritation with my one-time rival. That she no longer lit up with pleasure in his presence, reserving her loving smiles for me and our daughter, gave me a great sense of satisfaction.

In fact, I was almost glad Jacob had imprinted on our daughter, simply because it annoyed Bella so.

We arrived at the big house amid peals of Nessie's delighted laughter. Her giggles brought Esme, Rosalie, and Jacob out of the house, with Jacob in the lead as he bounded through the door and across the lawn.

Leaning in Jacob's direction with her arms stretched out, Renesmee made clasping motions with her little hands as soon as she saw him. Despite being irritated with him, Bella allowed her to go to him without objection. Nessie immediately began showing him her impressions of the little house, followed by a replay of our run through the forest at high speed and the exhilarating jump.

Like me, she found running - or in her case, going along for the ride - to have been great fun, and sailing through the air over the river just as much. It had been almost like flying! Her hair had whipped out behind her. The wind had stung her eyes, but she hadn't minded and had kept them open the whole way. Her vision was as sharp as ours, and she had been able to watch Bella weaving between the trees without fear of colliding with them, though Bella's sprint was so smooth it seemed it was the trees themselves that had been rushing past.

Not that Bella would have crashed. It was only when she was distracted with loving me that the forest was in danger from her strength.

Rosalie had a sour expression on her face as she watched the two. Nessie hadn't spared the others a glance, and was staring into Jacob's eyes with the same intensity that he was staring at her.

Unnecessarily clearing my throat, I said, "Breakfast time?"

"Oh. Yeah. I'm starving, so I'm sure you are too." Jacob walked past Rose, intentionally closer to her than was really necessary, and headed for the kitchen, where Esme had been in the middle of preparing his morning meal.

When we got to the house, Nessie's nose wrinkled with distaste. Esme had decided Jacob deserved more for breakfast than a bowl of cereal, and had already cooked a small mountain of link sausages. I couldn't help but laugh at the identical expressions on Bella's and Nessie's faces as they reacted to the stench that permeated the air.

"Maybe you should have started with pancakes," I told Esme when she hurried past me to save the eggs from burning. She'd been hoping Renesmee would show interest in feeding on something other than blood, and had prepared the meal with the idea that Nessie would want to join Jacob in enjoying a more traditional breakfast.

"I can have a batch ready in no time."

"I don't think it will make a difference today. The stench from those sausages would overpower anything else."

"Is that what that is?" Bella muttered, making me laugh harder. I wondered if she could remember how I'd been incapable of hiding my distaste when helping her fix human food. I'd even eaten the wretched stuff for her, though I wasn't about to try a bite just to encourage Nessie to do the same. My obvious disgust would not have the desired result.

Renesmee's nose was still wrinkled and she squirmed in Jacob's arms, reaching for Rosalie, who stood as far from the food as it was possible to be and still remain in the kitchen.

"Well, tomorrow, then." Esme gave Nessie a stern smile as Rose settled her into her arms. "I want you to try eating other things, young lady!"

"Maybe you can fix Charlie something for dinner that would appeal to Renesmee," I suggested.

Esme brightened and, after heaping Jacob's plate with eggs, darted across the kitchen, and began rifling through the pantry.

At the mention of his name, Nessie looked around, peering over Rose's shoulder into the rooms beyond, expecting to find him here, waiting for us with everyone else, but the living room was occupied only by my other siblings. Emmett was studiously ignoring Bella and me, disgruntled over his inability to tease us. He and Jasper were bent over their chess game, and Alice was lounging on a chair beside them, thumbing through a magazine. Carlisle was conspicuous only by his absence.

Nessie turned to ask Rose where her two grandfathers were. Although she didn't particularly want to be measured, she was a bit surprised that Carlisle wasn't there, waiting, tape measure in hand.

"It's still early. Charlie will probably be over later, but," Rose paused and cocked her head, listening for movement elsewhere in the house, "I'm not sure where Carlisle is."

Snickering, I said, "You mean, aside from escaping the stench?"

Esme shot me a dirty look, but addressed her answer to Rose. "Carlisle thought it was time he returned to work. You and Emmett were otherwise occupied when he left. He said he has a ton of paperwork that needs his attention, not to mention needing to relieve the doctors who have been covering for him. He hasn't missed this much time since Emmett was new!"

"And the last thing we need is some well-wisher coming to visit. Though," I glanced into the living room to see Alice stick her tongue out at me, "with Bella's restraint, Alice could probably invite the whole town over for another party, and everyone would be fine."

Tease! Like I'll be allowed to throw another party any time soon. But I bet with the proper lights, no one would notice Bella looks different now…

"Hmm," Esme agreed, smiling with obvious pride at her newest daughter. "Edward, he asked me to make sure you take Nessie's measurements and note the time. He wants you to try to stick to his every six hour schedule as much as possible, but as you've already missed the one for six this morning, he acknowledges that keeping the timing exact as she grows will be problematic."

"Will that make a difference?" Jacob managed to say around food he'd been shoveling into his mouth.

"Not so much that he was concerned. We'll just have to do a little math to adjust for the timing."

"But - but I thought exact measurements were important!"

"They are." Lifting a shoulder unconcernedly, Esme said, "And they are not. She's still growing. That much is obvious. Knowing precisely how much won't change that."

"Then why bother?" He threw his fork onto the uneaten food as if its smell offended him as much as it did the rest of us. "Why waste time doing something that isn't going to fix the problem?"

"What else would you have us do, Jacob?" I muttered. "Take her to a hospital? Let the vampire specialists poke and prod at her? Or maybe a church? Douse her in holy water?"

He didn't have an answer for how to help Renesmee any more than we currently did, and simply stared at her with agony etched on his face.

One glance at the same pain on Bella's face, and I regretted my thoughtless words. I hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

"We don't know how to help her," I said, trying to be soothing. "Not yet. But we will. When Bella and Renesmee are up for travel, there are places we can go, legends we can chase. We'll find something."

"How can you be so sure?" he croaked.

"Do you remember Kaure?" I asked Bella.

Frowning, she searched her memory, and then met my eyes with hope in hers. "She knew I was pregnant. And she knew the pregnancy would be… difficult."

"She believed it would kill you," I corrected. "And if it wasn't for the fact that we were able to provide you with nourishment that the unborn baby could tolerate, it would have."

She hugged me, almost too tight, but I relished the sensation. I'd come so close to losing her more than once. Nothing could equal the pain I'd felt as I'd watched her whither away, not even what I'd felt when I'd believed her to be dead. That she could hug me now, that she desired me at all, was a gift for which I would be eternally grateful.

I looked over her shoulder at Jacob and said, "We'd never heard of a human conceiving a vampire's child before, but Bella can't have been the first, not if Kaure's people have legends about it. If there is one legend, then there must be more. And somewhere, in one or hopefully more of them, we will find an answer to how long Nessie will live, and if there is anything we can do to prolong her life."

"When can we start? Bella was fine with Charlie yesterday. How long until we can leave? Shouldn't we start packing?" He stood as if he expected to leave with us that very moment.

"Slow down, Jacob," Esme said with a soft laugh. "There is much that we can do here. Nessie is growing quickly, yes, but it would be better for everyone involved not to rush into action. Bella was fine with Charlie, but travel with a newborn vampire takes planning. It's better not to take chances."

...taking chances with Nessie's life by waiting… or with some stranger's life by rushing… growing so fast we don't have the luxury of being patient…

"No," I said, "but we won't be sitting idly around, helplessly tracking her growth. And it has slowed."

"Well, come on, then," he said and strode for the stairs. "Let's see how much she grew last night before it gets too late."

Rose didn't appreciate doing as Jacob ordered, but followed him upstairs to Carlisle's study where the scales and tape measure waited. He stood beside Bella, arms folded tight across his chest, while Rose and I followed Carlisle's procedure. Nessie, who'd been expecting this, sighed with annoyance, but cooperated.

"Well?" Jacob demanded.

Knowing that his fear at losing her was fueling his abrasive tone, I said, "Growing creatures can't be expected to follow a precise line of growth. There are spurts and slumps. It's to be expected."

"What does that mean?"

"She made up for what she didn't grow yesterday."

"It picked back up again? You're sure your measurements aren't off 'cause you didn't do it on time?"

"Yes, I'm sure." It was hard to be patient with his grating attitude, but I tried.

"Carlisle should be here," he moaned.

"Edward's measurements are just as precise, Jacob," Rose said stiffly. "If he were here, he'd tell you the same thing."

"Thank you, Rose." I scooped Nessie off the table, passed her to Bella, and said, "Come on, love. The stench from Jacob's breakfast will have mostly dissipated by now."

"And she's hungry," Bella said when Renesmee told her as much.

...wouldn't be so blase' about this if it was Bella's life on the line.

My fists clenched as I whirled around to face him. "She's my daughter, and you think I don't care?"

He only held my glare for a moment before dropping his eyes. ...'snot the same thing… when it was Bella… you'd have done anything, whatever it took, but you expect me to just be calm, and watch and wait?

When he met my eyes again, the pain in them was too familiar for me to hold on to my anger. I knew only too well what he was going through.

"No. I expect you to help us do whatever we can, and I expect you to cherish this time with her. Children always grow up too fast. No matter how long she has, our time with her is precious. Don't waste it. I assure you, we are not."

Resolutely turning my back on him, I put my hand in the small of Bella's back and guided her from the room. We trooped back to the kitchen, where Jacob resumed his attack on the breakfast he'd abandoned. Esme retrieved a unit of blood from the bottom of the fridge, while Jacob pretended to ignore the fact that human blood was being stored in the same place as the food he'd been eating.

It really wasn't sanitary, and went against all my medical training for the proper storage of blood products. At least they were storing it in the coldest part, and the bags were clean and sealed, so it wasn't as though Jacob had to worry about his food coming in contact with human blood, but it would have been better to move the units to their own refrigerator, or return them to the cooler in Carlisle's study.

Of course, we did have another option.

"Jacob, when you've both finished your breakfasts, would you like you to see the home they built for me and Bella? Nessie wants to explore and didn't get the chance last night or this morning. And, we should probably bring some units of blood to keep in our kitchen so we don't have to leave the cottage every time she wants to eat."

"They built you guys a house," Jacob eyed me with a disbelieving smirk, "with a kitchen?"

"In truth, it already had one, but they replaced the wood burning stove and pump action faucet with all the modern amenities anyone could ask for."

"What for? Vampires don't eat."

I whispered into Bella's ear, "We don't sleep either, but the bed is useful, don't you think?"

She bit her lip and made a low sound in her throat that made me wish we could return there right away. As if to remind herself that she was holding our daughter and couldn't drag me back to our bedroom just yet, she shifted Renesmee to her other arm and avoided meeting my eyes.

Addressing Jacob, I said, "You forget, they were intending us to live there after we returned from our honeymoon. If it wasn't for Nessie, Bella would still be human, and probably quite grateful for a place to cook."

"Oh. Right."

I felt my lips curl at the images in his mind. He'd been so sure Bella would return as a vampire or not at all that he hadn't considered the provisions we would have made for any other possibility.

"Regardless, keeping up appearances is essential. You never know who might come calling. We learned a long time ago to make all our houses ready for human habitation." I looked pointedly around at the room in which Esme had cooked the very food he was eating as a prime example. Catching Bella's eyes again, I said, "The island house had a kitchen, too, remember?"

Bella nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on me and somehow completely ignoring the blood Esme was pouring into a metal cup. It was unfortunate Jacob couldn't do the same, but at least Bella didn't see the faces he was making. But when Rosalie took our daughter from Bella and so she could feed Renesmee, who was eagerly reaching for the cup, he had to remind himself that it had been he who had fed her last, and he supposed it was her turn.

He was happy to argue over whose turn it was to feed Renesmee as long as he didn't have to think about what it was that she was drinking?

I scoffed and said, "You're going to have to get over your squeamishness, Jacob, if you're going to remain in Renesmee's life."

"Not after we get her to start eating real food."

"And if that day never comes?"

"When she's old enough," Esme said sagely, "we will simply teach her to hunt as we do."

Jacob frowned and poked the remaining bits of food around on his plate. ...what if it has to be human?

"Why would it have to be human?" I snorted at his image of us holding fake blood drives, traveling from city to city to prevent the burden of keeping up with Renesmee's demand from taxing any one area.

She's only part vampire.

"Why would that make a difference?"

"I don't know, bloodsucker," he grumbled. Meeting my eyes defiantly, he thought, Why do other vampires do it? How come you all are the only ones that hunt animals?

Frowning, I shook my head, unwilling to answer. I couldn't make excuses to him for the way others lived their lives. Certainly not when their way of living meant killing. No reasons would suffice, and to say human blood was stronger, made us stronger, tasted better, felt better, could never convey the draw it had, or the constant struggle not to kill the humans we surrounded ourselves with.

Renesmee was aware that we were discussing something upsetting and reached a free hand toward him. He lurched off the stool on which he'd been seated and took her outstretched hand so he could hold it against his cheek.

"What does she want?" Bella asked.

With blood still exposed in the room, I looked at her in surprise that she'd spoken, but she didn't inhale, and I guessed she had simply used some of the air she already held in her lungs. I felt my pride in her swell again. She was such a natural at being a vampire!

"To know what Jacob is upset about," I answered

"We're just worried about you," he told Nessie in a gentle voice quite at odds with the one he'd been using while talking to me.

She considered him for a moment, then flashed her tiny, red-stained teeth and patted his cheek, showing him a memory of yesterday, when we'd all been outside laughing and smiling.

"And now?" Bella asked.

"She wants him not to worry."

"If only it was that easy." Her eyes were on our daughter, the line between them deep and her brows drawn tight together with concern.

"Would you like Jasper to help?" I said when he thought of offering. "Or you, Jacob?"

"No thanks," Jacob muttered as Bella shook her head. "I can't stop you getting in my head, but I prefer my emotions to be my own."

I'd always been grateful to my brother for easing my fears, but the reason for our worry would have remained. Renesmee's time was limited, and that time was racing by, the seconds passing like days, the days like months.

Though I'd dismissed his concern that animal blood may not sustain her as it did us, once the suggestion had been planted, I couldn't help but wonder if he could be right. Animal blood didn't have the potency human blood did. It kept us alive, but I could remember only too clearly the strength that had flooded my body when I'd killed humans during my rebellious years, and again, after saving Bella from James. Her blood had been powerful.

There was a difference in human blood versus animal, and we all knew it. It was entirely possible that animal blood might not be strong enough to sustain her. She was not immortal the way we were. Her human side might require the extra boost from human blood.

Or was it possible that the weaker blood of animals - or abstaining from blood entirely and subsisting on human food alone - would slow her rate of growth? Without the power of human blood fueling her, perhaps more of her own human side would come into play.

Had Jacob accidentally hit upon the solution once again?

It was too late to test any theories now, but tomorrow, or perhaps even tonight before her dinner, I was determined that we would get her to at least try some human food. Cooked meat smelled horrid, and I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to try eating it, but perhaps some fresh vegetables or fruits would appeal to her. She'd tolerated a sip of water with no ill effect. Bella had craved eggs before we'd known she was pregnant, and then again after she'd started drinking blood. Maybe, without the stench of meat tainting the air, she would be willing to try eggs for tomorrow's breakfast. There had to be something Renesmee would eat!

Once Nessie was finished, and the cup washed and empty bag disposed of outside where the traces of blood would no longer pollute the air, Bella was able to breathe while my mother and sister changed Nessie into new clothes. She was not a messy eater, but it was better not to chance Bella coming into contact with so much as a drop of spilled blood that might contaminate our daughter's clothing.

Jacob took the opportunity to reconnoiter with Seth and Leah, and I was left alone with Bella, to touch her face, to breathe in the scent of her neck, so different from when she was a human, but so distinctly her. Bella's hands found their way into my hair, and I heard a muffled grunt escape me as she pushed herself against me. Her body, like her lips, was firm, solid, real, and I reveled in my new ability to hold her tight and without fear.

get a room you two…

I laughed and deepened our kiss. We had a room, a whole house, but as I'd just lectured Jacob about cherishing this time with Renesmee, it wouldn't do to whisk Bella away for a bit of amorous alone time. There would be opportunity enough for that later, while our daughter slept.

...guess the kitchen's as good a place as any for makin' bacon, but at least no one ate in there when it was me 'n Rosie.

I pulled away from Bella far enough to grumble, "Cheating a bit, aren't we? I believe you lost that bet."

Nu-uh! Bella didn't say anything about me thinking about her sex life. Not that I want to. Your sex life? …boooring! House still standing, kid sleeping down the hall, pfft. Pathetic.

"I believe you also demanded a rematch? Today? How about increasing the stakes to include what you're allowed to think at me, too."

Bella's eyes, which had been questioning, narrowed as she understood to whom I'd been speaking. "Emmett?"

"Emmett," I agreed.

She released me and marched into the living room to level a glare at my brother.

He turned wide, innocent eyes on her and said, "What? I didn't say anything!" He drew his finger and thumb across his lips, as if zipping them closed, then made motions of turning a lock and throwing away the key. "Mrph-mmphf mmph!"

"Intentionally talking to Edward in your mind counts as talking."

I lounged against the doorway, feeling a smirk spread across my face.

"You never said - "

"Well, I'm saying it now! No nothing about my sex life means not even in your head!"

Bad enough for him to be constrained against teasing her, but not to be allowed to mentally taunt me? She had upped the ante, and he was not quite as cocky as he'd been yesterday. He wasn't about to let her see that. He gave Bella a cheeky grin before springing to his feet. "Fine. Whatever you want, little sister. What'd ya have in mind this time? You kinda ruined our arm wrestling spot."

"I'm sure we can find another rock."

"New spot, new stakes, I say we add a new twist, too."

"Name it."

"Left handed."

"What next?" Alice snickered. "Standing on one foot?"

"Give up arm wrestling and see who can leap the tallest tree?" Jasper chimed in.

"Or who can balance the most cars while blindfolded, hopping in place, and singing the national anthem? Exactly how far are you planning on taking it this time?"

"Hey," Emmett said with a careless shrug, "if she can't keep up, all she has to do is concede defeat."

"Don't let him fool you, Bella," I said. "He's inordinately excited to have someone new to play his games. Even better if you keep beating him; makes it more of a challenge."

Newborn strength doesn't last forever.

"No, but until it fades, she's the strongest vampire in the house. Why don't you just go ahead and admit it?"

"Never!" he said dramatically.

"Come, love." I strolled over, slid an arm around her waist, and pulled her toward the stairs. "Wouldn't you rather play with our daughter than my obnoxious little brother?"

"Little!"

"Remind me who's older?" I said over my shoulder.

Emmett sputtered in useless indignation while Jasper howled with laughter.

"We did promise to let her have a look around the cottage after her breakfast," Bella agreed as we walked away. Before climbing the stairs, she turned back to face a crestfallen Emmett. "But go ahead and find us a new rock. Any time you're ready to lose again, you know where to find me."