71. Abandoned
"What can we do?" Bella asked, her face still buried in Renesmee's hair.
I didn't think she really expected an answer; I'd already essentially told her there wasn't a viable one, and yet, Emmett had one ready.
"We fight," he said, as if it were obvious, as if it were nothing more than the newborns all over again.
"We can't win," Jasper said.
It was quite an admission for him to make. Jasper had won every battle he'd ever been engaged in, fought in a vicious, never-ending war for the first decades of his life, and had never lost. The only reason Emmett or I ever won against him was his unwillingness to do us actual harm. This fight, though, was one none of us could walk away from.
I saw flashes of Jasper's memories of the southern war. Thousands of vampires had died by his hands and teeth. He had killed enemy and ally alike. When his soldiers had outlived their usefulness, it had been his duty to dispose of them. As both a warrior and an executioner, he knew what came for us.
Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice, whose eyes had gone blank again as she continued searching for a way past the future that was coming. Though I could feel the fury and despair radiating out from him in waves - or were those emotions my own? - Alice was wrapped in a protective bubble of serenity, infused with false hope.
"Well, we can't run. Not with Demetri around." Emmett made a rude noise. The idea of turning tail and fleeing went against the grain, no matter what was coming for us. Emmett's hope was not false, but I felt it was misplaced, and his craving for a worthy opponent made him more excited than angry. He actually looked forward to this confrontation!
"And I don't know that we can't win," Emmett went on. "There are a few options to consider. We don't have to fight alone."
Bella moved at last, lifting her head to glare at Emmett with blazing eyes. "We don't have to sentence the Quileutes to death, either, Emmett!"
It wasn't surprising that, whatever the threat to herself or us, she would protect whomever she could.
"Chill, Bella," Emmett said, unruffled by her anger. "I didn't mean the pack. Be realistic, though - do you think Jacob or Sam is going to ignore an invasion? Even if it wasn't about Nessie? Not to mention that, thanks to Irina, Aro knows about our alliance with the pack now, too. But I was thinking of our other friends."
If I hadn't seen what Alice had, I might have shared his optimism. We weren't without allies. The packs were a formidable force, and we had many vampire friends. But he didn't know. He hadn't seen! No force, however large, could withstand what was coming for us.
"Other friends we don't have to sentence to death," Carlisle whispered, as unwilling as Bella was to sacrifice others. Certainly not to protect himself, and not even to protect us.
"Hey, we'll let them decide," Emmett said evenly. "I'm not saying they have to fight with us. If they'd just stand beside us, just long enough to make the Volturi hesitate. Bella's right after all. If we could force them to stop and listen. Though that might take away any reason for a fight…"
I was not the only one staring open-mouthed at him. Trust my brother to be capable of teasing us, even now! He wanted to test his strength against their abilities! But aside from his inappropriate enthusiasm for a good fight, he was right! I almost expected Bella to leap up and plant a kiss on his cheek.
Renesmee was not an immortal child! We just needed Aro to see that Irina had been wrong in her report of our transgression. A chance, that was all we needed, the opportunity to show them what our daughter really was. And our friends, the packs included, they could give us that.
"Yes," Esme agreed, grasping at his solution like the lifeline it was. "That makes sense, Emmett. All we need is for the Volturi to pause for one moment. Just long enough to listen."
"We'd need quite a show of witnesses," Rosalie said, wondering if we even knew enough vampires to accomplish such a feat, much less enough who would be willing to go up against the Volturi.
"We can ask that much of our friends," Esme said, as if Rose, like Carlisle, had objected to their sacrificing themselves for us. "Just to witness."
"We'd do it for them," Emmett said, smug that he was the one to come up with a possible way to save our family.
"We'll have to ask them just right. They'll have to be shown very carefully." Alice was watching as the possibilities that had flickered in her thoughts for the past few days solidified.
I once again saw our family traveling, and understood them to be seeking out those friends of ours we could call upon. They were visible for the same reason Bella's aborted trip to Italy had been: Renesmee would be left behind. But I also saw those very friends turning to the other side. They, like Irina, would not understand. They would not hear our protestations that this child was different, and would not come to see for themselves. And even if they came to look they would only see what they expected.
Or would they?
The visions came too fast. My family abroad. Cities. Desert. Mountain. Jungle. The Volturi, their numbers growing. Red-eyed vampires in our company.
"Shown?" Jasper prompted.
I followed Alice's gaze toward my sleeping daughter. I could see the life in her, but Alice was trying to look at her as if for the first time, to see Nessie as the others would. They would immediately see that she was not human, but would they see her rosy cheeks? Would they feel her warmth? Would they hear her beating heart?
Who could we count on to see what was, and not simply what they would expect?
She watched and rejected those who would, without a doubt, reject what they saw, regardless of what we told them, whose fear of the Volturi was too strong to allow them to pause. But there were others, others who would be willing to look beyond Nessie's obvious inhumanity, and see the life that shone from within her.
"Tanya's family," Alice said. "Siobhan's coven. Amun's. Some of the nomads - Garett and Mary for certain. Maybe Alistair."
"What about Peter and Charlotte?" Jasper asked.
Alice's eyes narrowed. Either decision was equally possible. They had no wishes to be involved in another war, but their loyalty to Jasper was strong. "Maybe."
"The Amazons?" Carlisle suggested. "Kachiri, Zafrina, and Senna?"
I was glad to hear him accept Emmett's solution and name some of his friends.
Alice looked into the jungle again. It had seemed certain that Jasper would be there, but he kept disappearing. Would Nessie or one of the wolves accompany him? Why would that be? We needed Renesmee here, to prove to our friends what they would be risking their lives for. And I couldn't imagine the Amazonians reacting positively to a werewolf! The stench coming off them would send any vampire's instincts into overdrive.
"I can't see," Alice eventually muttered.
But she had seen! I knew she had! "What was that? That part in the jungle. Are we going to look for them?"
"I can't see," she repeated, then stopped looking. Deliberately. And in place of the visions, she began thinking in one of the languages she had learned that I had not for the very purpose of allowing her some privacy.
She was blocking me? Now?!
"We'll have to split up and hurry - before the snow sticks to the ground. We have to round up whomever we can and get them here to show them."
I wanted to trust her, and if she felt the need to block me, she surely had a damn good reason. But there was a desperation to her attempt that I didn't understand, and now, with all that I loved threatened, I needed to see whatever she could. But she wasn't looking at the jungle anymore. The Volturi filled her thoughts. Flickers that made no sense. She couldn't see the past. Why was she looking at the guard? Or was she remembering our time there? Seeing other futures, too distant for me to grasp? And then, again, all of them, here, advancing on us.
Aro was pleased, excited, his red eyes roving over our family, searching...
"Ask Eleazar," Alice said. "There is more to this than just an immortal child."
I tried to watch, to follow her thoughts, but the faces and places were a jumbled mess. When she eventually came back to the here and now, she avoided my eyes and began Emmett's practice of filling her thoughts with some of the songs I most loathed. How dare she use such a tactic now!
"There is so much. We have to hurry," Alice moaned, her words so quiet they were barely discernible.
Trying to direct her thoughts, to make her show me what I needed to see whether she wanted to or not, I prompted, "Alice? That was too fast - I don't understand. What was - ?"
With her hands clenched into fists at her side and her body rigid, she screamed at me, "I can't see! Jacob's almost here!"
Rose, misunderstanding, started for the door to head him off, to keep him away so Alice would be free to see again. "I'll deal with - "
"No, let him come." Alice was truly desperate now.
And now, I could see. The immediate future only, as she and Jasper headed into the woods surrounding our home. She wasn't hiding her need to get away, to get a clear view, but she was hiding something, of that much I was sure.
Before I could protest again, to prompt her and perhaps break through her concentration, she said, "I'll see better away from Nessie, too. I need to go. I need to really concentrate. I need to see everything I can. I have to go. Come on, Jasper, there's no time to waste!"
Alice grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him out the door, impatient, frantic with her need to escape. He could feel her fear, her desperation, but he understood it no more than did I.
"Hurry!" Alice called over her shoulder just before she darted out the door. "You have to find them all!"
I saw them again, a clear view of all those she was certain would be willing to look and listen, as well as those whose willingness was remotely possible, and then she was gone.
My hope that I would have more of an answer soon was fleeting. She and Jasper were quickly beyond my range, putting more distance between herself and Jacob and Nessie than had ever been necessary for her to gain an unobstructed view before. It wasn't them she wanted to get away from; it was me. She didn't want me to see… whatever it was.
I was aware that Jacob had come in and, having heard Alice's parting comment, had asked about her departure, and that no one had answered. My family, like me, were all staring after Alice in stunned confusion.
Too happy to be here again to notice anything amiss, looking only at Nessie's perfection, Jacob cheerfully said, "Hey, Bells! I thought you guys would have gone home by now…"
He was right. Under normal circumstances, I would right now be lost in Bella's embrace, blissfully unaware of the world beyond our room. Would Alice have left so hurriedly, had we not been here? How long after her first vision before someone would have come to get us? How long would I have remained ignorant of the calamity that was, even now, being set in motion?
Why had Alice been so determined that I not see whatever she had? I had not always had the most level head, nor the most rational of responses. Where Bella was concerned, my emotions had often gotten the better of me. Had she seen me doing something rash and ruining what hope of salvation we had? I hated to think I was still such a child that my behavior would endanger my entire family.
Had I learned nothing?
Part of me heard Jacob's panic as he became aware of our own. Part of me was aware that he had joined Bella and me in front of the couch where Nessie slept. He demanded answers that I was incapable of giving, but Bella provided. I could only stare at the place where my sister had disappeared and remember, far too vividly, the things she had seen.
The Volturi were coming.
We had been sentenced to death.
And it was a good chance that everyone who chose to support us would die along with us.
And yet…
And yet…
There was hope! Alice had allowed me to see that much.
Bella's eyes found mine as Carlisle picked up where she left off, explaining to Jacob what Alice had seen, and the solution Emmett had provided. My brother had been correct in his assessment of the wolves' response. Of course he had.
I listened to their back and forthing as Carlisle detailed what we were up against and Jacob insisted the wolves would stop the attack. They were designed to hunt down and eliminate any vampire incursion upon their lands. Despite what we had told him of our self-proclaimed royalty, he was confident. The pack had killed one army, after all. What was one more?
Newborns were fodder in vampire wars because they were physically stronger, but that did not mean the force we faced now was in any way weak. If the packs threw themselves against this army, the wolves would shatter like the crystal vase against our marble floor.
No one had yet moved to clean it up. The flowers lay scattered amidst the crystal shards and slowly drying pool of water, a glaring, broken mess, a sharp contrast with the immaculate perfection of the rest of the house. It seemed indecent, like a dead woman whose naked body had been left exposed for all to see. I wished Esme would take care of it, but she, like all of us, was stunned into immobility.
Carlisle was the only one with the strength of will to move at all. At that, he stood completely, inhumanly still, and moved only his mouth, speaking in almost automatic response to Jacob's demand for answers. At some point, Jacob phased and bolted from the house, howling for his pack. Before he left my range, I heard Sam responding to the urgency in the pack's mingled voices.
I wasn't sure how much later - it could have been minutes or hours - Jacob returned, communicating with Carlisle through nods and chuffs that both packs would be ready. I wasn't able to translate, but I wasn't needed. Carlisle understood.
Bella's eyes never wavered from mine. We knelt beside the couch where our daughter slept and simply watched each other.
Once a rich, melted chocolate, Bella's eyes were now a warm, molten gold. Their shift from red to yellow had never seemed toxic to me. The orange I'd hated in my eyes had, in hers, looked like the transition of the sky from bright day into velvet night, and twilight had always been my favorite time of day.
Was this what people meant when they said a person's life flashed before their eyes in the moments before their death? I saw, with perfect clarity, every second since Bella's eyes had first met mine. Looking at each other across that crowded lunch room, a gulf of differences had separated us, yet it was at that moment when my life truly began.
Blood had swirled beneath her transparent skin. She'd been so obviously fragile, delicate, breakable, more so than most humans. I could not have guessed her strengths then; they had been as hidden as her thoughts. Now, she was the stronger of the two of us, and perhaps she always had been, but in the coming days, I would have to be strong for her. She would need me as much as I needed her.
And, God, how I needed her!
I remembered every look we shared, every smile she gave, every touch she had ever graced me with. I remembered our first kiss, and before then, that whole afternoon when we had first expressed our feelings. That night, and every night after, when she'd slept so trustingly in my arms. When I'd left, and the utter desolation of my existence without her. When she'd come for me, saved me, forgiven me. When she agreed to marry me, and we had exchanged our vows to love one another for the rest of our lives.
Grief twisted through me anew. I'd thought we would have eternity. Mortality gave meaning to humans' lives, for those numbered days should be cherished, but I would have treasured every second of my eternity with Bella as if each one could have been our last.
And Renesmee, whose life should have lasted years, would now have only a few months. Those promised years had already seemed so short. To be cheated of them now felt deliberately cruel and unjust, as if the evil Fate who had long stalked Bella had turned her spiteful gaze upon Nessie. In being denied her prize, that vicious harpy intended to visit her wrath upon Bella's daughter a hundred-fold.
The morning sun surprised me. Time had ceased to have meaning, yet it had inevitably passed, whether or not I was aware of its existence. The sun's rays sought Bella, touching her cheek, and making her glisten like some unearthly goddess. It caressed her hair, bringing out the red highlights, surrounding her with an angelic, fiery halo. It lingered on her lips, as if it longed to taste their sweetness. She was a celestial being, a star descended to the earth, and the sun loved her as I did. After all, it, too, was just another star.
Alice had tried to show me: Bella had been created for this life, had been crafted for me specifically. We belonged together. Fighting Alice's visions had always proved futile, yet if I had not resisted, Nessie would not now exist. It was all so circular, it was hard to know what was right. I could not question our daughter's perfection, her essential nature. Of course she had to exist! There was nothing accidental about her creation.
Alice had always been infallible, yet not even she could ever have predicted Renesmee.
There was so much she didn't see. In her accuracy, it was hard to remember there were forces outside her abilities, and the smallest details could change everything.
Automatically, I sought her thoughts. I'd been so absorbed in Bella, in loving her and remembering her love, in basking in her vital presence, I must have missed my sister returning.
I was irritated. I would have thought, as important as her visions were, especially now, that she would have interrupted my wallowing and shown me the way toward our salvation.
Asleep on the floor, still in his wolf form, Jacob was dreaming. Standing by the wall of windows, Emmett was scanning the trees, and Rose was watching him. Carlisle and Esme both stared at the place they had last seen Alice and Jasper, where the two had disappeared into the forest.
But neither of them were to be found. They had not returned?
"Alice," I breathed my sister's name, aware as I did so that I was breaking a lengthy silence.
We were all still awaiting her return. None of my family had dared to make a move, unconsciously afraid any decision, however small, would alter the future she was trying to bring about. I listened and could detect Jacob's pack patrolling at the edge of my range, but of Alice and Jasper, there was no sign.
How odd.
As if my speaking her name made the others aware of time's passage and of Alice's continued absence, they looked around for her, seeming to expect her to dance into the room, appearing as if magically summoned. She had often timed her entrance into a room with her name being called. Vainly, I hoped she would do so again, but there was no whisper of her, nor of Jasper.
"She's been gone a long time," Rose said, as surprised as I was to notice that, during Alice's absence, the sun had appeared.
"Where could she be?" Emmett, feeling a protective urge to act, to do something, made a move toward the door, intent on searching them out. He wouldn't block her from seeing. There was no reason why he couldn't go and either come back to report to us, or stand guard with Jasper.
Esme stopped him, placing a hand on his arm before he had taken two steps. "We don't want to disturb…"
"She's never taken so long before," I disagreed. Something was wrong. She should have returned long before now. She wouldn't willingly leave me like this, poised as I was on the chopping block, waiting for the ax to fall. "Carlisle, you don't think - something preemptive? Would Alice have had time to see if they sent someone for her?"
Fear took me. Was this what she had been hiding? Her own destruction? Or equally terrifying, her capture?
Aro had wanted her, more than he had wanted me. And he would know, having seen all that I had and more, that she would be capable of protecting us like no one else would. Would she be willing to give her life so we might have a chance to live? Was she in such a hurry to leave, rushing to her death because she knew we would not sacrifice her? I would not allow her to sacrifice herself, not even if she had seen that as the only way to guarantee our survival.
And she had seen... something!
Emmett immediately understood and ran after her, snarling profanities as he went. Before he reached the river, I was already hurtling past him. By my side, Carlisle strained to match my pace. Behind us, I heard Bella scream at Jacob to stay with Renesmee, and then her footsteps as she sprinted after us, her strong legs allowing her to catch up to us with her longer, powerful strides.
"Would they have been able to surprise her?" Carlisle asked. There was disbelief in his voice, but the blind spots she had been subjected to made her vulnerable as never before.
And Aro would have seen! When he took her hand in Volterra, he had seen her mistake, and the reason for it. She had believed Bella to be dead because the werewolves blocked her from seeing their rescue. And Irina, she would have reported the wolves' continued presence. But Alice would have seen her own fate, would she not? If she was to be stolen away, she would have known! And she would have acted to prevent it. I was certain of that much, at least.
Unless, of course, she had rushed headlong toward it.
"I don't see how," I said. I couldn't imagine anything coming upon her, unawares. But something was very wrong, nevertheless. I was certain of that, too. Unwillingly, I admitted, "But Aro knows her better than anyone else. Better than I do."
"Is this a trap?" Emmett called after us.
I almost paused. Were we being lured away from Nessie? Acting in panic, our forces spread out in the forest, we would be vulnerable.
"Maybe," I conceded, but kept running. My thoughts ranged ahead and around. If there was an ambush, it was miles away still. "There's no scent but Alice and Jasper. Where were they going?"
If her only goal was to get away from our house, as far and as fast as possible, I would have expected them to run in a straight line, but they had gone this way and that, almost as if avoiding someone. But there was no one!
I smelled a faint divergence, reminding me of how Irina had doubled back on her trail to throw us off, but there was still only hers and Jasper's, so I kept to the stronger trail.
"Did you catch that scent?" Esme called, wondering if we should split up to trace the deviation.
"Keep to the main trail," I decided after a moment's hesitation. If we encountered anyone, it was better to do so together. We could go back if we had to, though I didn't see why we would. This way was the more recent. "We're almost to the Quileute border. Stay together. See if they turned north or south."
Despite our new alliance, Carlisle was not comfortable barging across the established treaty lines. I accepted his warning, slowing the same time as he did. The wolf smell was stronger than my siblings' here, almost overpowering them. If I had not become so accustomed to the stench from Jacob's near constant presence, I might have lost them. But it was still there; Jasper and Alice had continued over the line and onto Quileute territory.
And then I caught it. The sound of another's thoughts. Close. I froze, instantly on guard. They were not alone, I realized. They had been focused on the very forest through which we ran, listening for us. Hiding? Was this the ambush Emmett had feared?
A snarl wanted to build in my chest, but I swallowed it back. I wasn't as used to their voices, but it only took a moment to realize that they were familiar and non-threatening, though there was a strong tenor of disapproval.
"Sam?" I said, managing not to spit his name in my fury and fear. "What is this?"
If he thought our treaty was going to prevent me from following Alice's trail, he was sorely mistaken! We weren't a danger to their people, something they should know by now. Alice had crossed here, and I didn't care what he thought. I was going after my sister!
Sam, in human form, and two of his pack, still in their wolf forms, came from behind the trees where they had been waiting. He walked slowly, his eyes locked on Carlisle, and his thoughts full of my siblings as they had come upon them last night.
Sam knew I would be reading him, and reading the thoughts of his lieutenants, but he ignored my reaction. It was with Carlisle, our leader, that he intended to speak.
But he couldn't keep me from seeing.
Alice had been here! He had seen her! Spoken with her! Her eyes had been wild, and her fear contagious. Jasper, I was sure, had been doing his best to combat it, but his face showed the same terror she felt, the terror that filled me, even now.
Alice had not tried to cross the border covertly. She had known they would be here, had aimed for them. And coming upon them, she had called out, begging for their help. She had spoken not of the army, but of us. He had followed her instructions and not told Jacob of seeing her when Jacob had gone to him last night.
Slow as he was walking, reluctance evident in each step he took, by the time he came to a stop and began speaking to Carlisle, I already knew what Sam was going to tell him. I saw Sam's memory of running at Alice's side while she had explained what had to happen, and then of watching her and Jasper disappear into the ocean.
They were gone. Beyond our reach. We had no hope of finding them now.
Alice had taken Jasper, and together, they had left us.
