Drunken Lullaby ::An Erk and Serra Story::
Chapter: 4: Behind Our Walls
"Arguing back and forth
Our anger is so hard
Even if we're really saying
Something so different
I missed you and know it.
You missed me, godamnit.
So just fall and admit it!!"
-'Behind Our Walls' Kuri
The pink haired bishop didn't say anything. It was as if she was lost in time. Erk, her precious Erk, the mage who had met her as a bodyguard, was here. She openly gaped, barely feeling the movements of their son, her Reka, trying to shake himself from his mother's grasp.
His purple hair, now almost a dark royal majesty. Lay upon his shoulders, surrounding his astonished face. His eyes were almost a balck velvet, barely telling her that he too was surprised to see her with another emotion hidden behind the deep depths. His face so hauntingly familiar had matured along with his now tall body.
He had also been establishing a contrast with the Serra he had seen the last. Her hair was long, well-groomed as she was. The pink hue was paler than he could remember and almost regrettably he knew that it was his fault for it. When she had left, he had darkened into himself and she had faded away from herself. Her form was slender still, maybe a pound or two added onto her thighs from baby fat, but otherwise, she was still breathtaking, if he could really say that.
'Why, now?' Her mind questioned. She could feel the tears going to her eyes, but her bottom lip upon insistance had stopped the river ready to pour out. Her heart pounded, crashing and tearing its earthly ligaments attaching the forsaken organ to her body. Only he could make her feel like this......
'Serra.......' His mind was overjoyed yet sadly. He wanted to cry but buried it deep inside, feeling the anger from when she left the campaign return doubly. Serra's eyes, still with her childish dreams, seemed to be frozen into the older maturity she was capable to handle quite well.
"R-Reka, please.....Go see how your friends are coping in the village.......Don-Don't come back u-until I come get you, u-u-understand? If I don't come at nightfall go to the inn and sleep there for a favor......." Serra started out. Her voice melodic, trying to maintain the wavering stability that was the chaos in her mind.
"But, mom, why?"
"Reka, I told you to do something. I meant now. No questioning." She stood up from her son, handing him a few coins from her belt pouch, keeping her eyes on Erk. He was barely containing his anger at the woman who thought she could rule his heart with a mere twist of her finger, at the woman who was able to make him go crazy for her after all these years.
Reka, scared as his mother never once was coldly demanding of him. He nodded, taking the coins and his scribe's pouch, hurrying out the door. Once Serra was able to hear Reka's feet fade, she swallowed the next willing bout of tears. A small lump of darkened coal settling in her throat. Oh, how she missed the man standing in front of her and yet how she dreaded it.
"H-Hello, E-E-Erk...." She could feel the immenient feeling of his hand coming out to strike her down. Her heart constricted in fear, her eyes looking down finding her brown homemade shoes glare back at her spitefully. It wasn't until she felt the rough brush of his brown leather gloves, did she look up. Her eyes wide in fright, though the cool soft glove seemed to soothe her ruffled feathers.
A small tear fell down his almost vamipiricly pale cheek from an amethyst eye. His body moved forward of its own accord till it was right in front of her. His other hand smoothed over her pink hair. Serra nearly felt her resolve falter. She was near him. She was near him after all this time!! Her mind would not be quiet about that fact. His cold forehead made contact with hers, and she could feel his soft purple lockes whisk around her face as he shook his head as if in pain.
"Why?"
"What?"
"You heard me.........why did you keep Reka a secret?!" Tears were falling down his face in comaparison to the almost surprised cold face of Serra's. She didn't move. Her mouth opened to speak the words and yet she couldn't at all. Her heart was wrapped in hot iron bands, swords piercing her flesh along with the magic of a thousand fire tomes burning through it.
"I....."
He raised her eyes to meet his with his firm brown leather glove. She was still afraid. Her hands were wringing her skirt into a tight fist. Why did he have to still have his handsome features? Why did he still have to be Erk?!
"I......."
"I'm waiting for an answer, Serra." Her hesitantance spoke much to Erk as he felt the tears ready to pour out, even if he was uncomfortably calm towards the situation. His voice though betrayed the warm anger brewing inside of him. His harsh tone nearly made the coldness spike through her pink flesh. She knew that he would've found out one day. Erk was a man who would try to get what he wanted.
"I.....I was....."
She had mumbled something nearly incoherent to the finely tuned ears of Erk. His eyes bore through her.
"What was that?" His narrowed eyes seemed untrusting to her, grasping the merest comprehension to her. His hand still soft upon her chin.
"afraid......."
"What would make you think that?" His voice was in wonder as the emotion of slight irony dawned upon him. Of course she would think that. More than once he had told her, even if it wasn't blantently that he had hated her simply because she annoyed him somewhat but that really wasn't it.
"You told me........."
"Told you?"
"More than once, you hated me!! How could you expect me to tell you that the person you hated the most is having your child?! You'd have wanted my child killed at the thought!!!" Serra felt the tears fall.
"Take back those words." The warm man she knew that was inside his heart froze again. His eyes were darkened by his hair as she could barely make out his finely defined nose.
"Why? It's the truth." She was confused and frightened. She had never seen Erk in real anger, frustration, annoyance, and tolerance maybe, but not ever angry.
"Take them back."
"No." Without even thinking her mouth answered instead of her mind. 'Open mouth insert foot.' She thought as she cringed in her thoughts. Her answer was defiant much like she was but then again she was ashamed.
"I WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN THAT CRUEL!!!" His warm voice rose, anger clearly seen upon his face. This was the true Erk. This was the Erk that had died when he had read that letter. This was his anger. His grip upon her head and chin tightened visibly but still hadn't begun to hurt her at all. Tears rolled down from his eyes. He had tried to be strong. He had tried to hide it all away. But she was the key to unlock his heart, unlock his soul from the darkness.
"........." This made her think. Did she overreact when she had determined that she was to have his child? Did she lose herself in her moment of shock? His leather gloves softened their grip upon her. Her eyes showed such hurt as they looked down. His own eyes reflected hers and for a moment, as he felt a swarm of bees buzz in his stomache and his heart stop, he knew what he wanted to ask most but he couldn't bring himself to it.
"....He's.......a bright boy......" He finally decided to say. Instead of the words that rushed out of his mouth. He changed the topic after all, even if he was angry enough to nearly KILL her, he would never do it. Even though he had just met his son, Reka, Erk felt as if he had known him his entire lifespan, which wasn't exactly right considering they had no such thing as a time machine sorta spell.
"He takes after his father." She commented, her face still covered in tears and her voice barely sounding as strong as she wish she was inside. Her disregard for this day was extreme. She had never been prepared for one, and two, all she knew was that Erk was not going to forgive her so easily.
"Don't flatter me with such compliments." He snarled somewhat, his tears seeming to dry from his choked face. Biting back, her soft lips seemed to quiver as she watched her son's strong father. His hidden reserve of strength had been always shining through her son, and she had a faint idea that the child had saved the village children with the help of his father, unknowingly.
"It's the truth." She uttered darkly unto his ears. He felt his eyes dilate but then go back to their darkened age. He didn't believe that the child's strength came from him. Reka was more or less strong because of his mother, and also he was strong because of his optomism. He wondered suddenly if his son was ever sad.
"Was he always so happy?"
"Yes, but he is missing something he needs." Serra had noticed lately that Reka was much more quieter, more controlled of his emotions than he used to be. He was growing up a little from his friends. Reka had always been more controlled of himself than most of the villangers but he often let his self-control go whenever he was near his mother, but now, he was looking for something either in him or in his enviroment with a distant look always upon his face.
"I see......"
"Yeah......" A statement that was to continue their already dying conversation. She knew that if it continued then he wouldn't yell at her. He wouldn't accuse her and bring her regrets back upon her. She disliked the feelings that he brought up in her, however, she wanted them to be brought. Even this temporary friendliness only boldened what she had once come across before though it was cold and dying, a slow smoldering ember in the fire pit of her heart.
"Please take those words back.........."
"I...........can't........That's how I felt when I deserted the campaign........" She was telling the truth from the bottom of her heart. The pain flowed unevenly back into her and the hot iron clad bands were there, tightening, twisting the dark cells of her blood. She felt her knees grow weak, but started upon her centering technique. The technique calmed her, drawing strength from her mana to her knees, reinforcing them magically.
"Do you wonder what would've happened had you stayed?" He asked the third greatest question in his mind. He had many, but this one was one he had wondered about for eight years. He found himself often on his travels or campaigns on his alone time thinking what it would be like to play with his child or have Serra's soft and slim body close. Sometimes, even if he didn't want it, the images of Serra often changed into something that he'd have to borrow some alone time for.
"Often, but they're just mere whimsical dreams........." It was true that she had thought her dreams of all of them being together with Reka when she had left were nothing but dreams. Though sometimes she did find herself in a fix when she remembered how Erk played up to being such a man. Of course, that was a healer's secret and no one had a right to know.
"Yeah........."
"Do you?" She responded with the same question. In all, she had a burning curiousity that wouldn't sit still until she knew. Smoothing down some of her pink hair, Erk wondered if he could tell her the truth. She had told him the truth but only after she ran away, only after she had caused him so much pain.
"Yes........I wanted to understand the Serra that hid from me." He finally decided with his answer. The soft-spoken words seemed to confuse her even more than they should have. Why did he want to know the totally bold playful, yet serious woman she was.
"I see.........." She really didn't understand. He hadn't said he hated her yet, nor did he say he didn't. Her head was beginning to ache from the deep pang of lonliness she had tried not to show to him. Her fingers rose up to clasp his arms. Soft, tanned fingers wrapped themselves around his strong limbs, he pressure applied light as a feather and the gentle caress indicated something strong that welled up in the two adults.
"Do you hate me, Serra?" The question hurt her. How could she hate the one she loved? Sure she had often had murderous thoughts when it came to her delivery of Reka and once in awhile when Reka would get too uptight, but that was it. She knew that deep in her heart, which now was seeming to break, she would love him, but maybe not as she once did.
"No." Her answer was cold, voicing the lonliness she wished she had been without. It was the crystal clear sound of pity upon herself.
"I see........" He looked down, a calm countenance filtering through her vision, a small frown still wrought upon such succulent lips. Her mind kept repeating to the night where he held her, kissed her, made her his, while her body remembered the actions quite well. It was her first time because of the order's oaths but she had clearly been taken away at the first receptive kiss from those same lips.
"........" She didn't allow herself to reply, finding herself in quite a predicament as she reprimanded her body for even suggesting that her mind do anything untoward her dear friend. Of course, when does anyone's bodies reply to the mind saying they would do as the mind suggested? His tentative grasp upon her chin and head began to leave as he pulled off the leather gloves, smooth white fingers appearing out of the sheathing leather.
Drawing her close, Erk didn't know exactly what he was doing though he knew that he wanted to make sure that she wasn't as sorrowful as her tears had assumed of her. His slightly smoothed fingers, milky as a ghost's, slipped behind her head, playing with a few strands of her sliky hair in each.
Somehow, Serra's body could talk to its mind and blantedly told it to fuck off.
The warm inn was beginning to feel slightly drafty since the Inn Mistress, Jun had gone to bed, Reka situated on an inn comfortable armchair. Gin smiled as he handed his friend a small hot soup, beef broth clearly pungent as well as the smell of rosemary and dill. His soft-spoken friend twirled a red strand of hair behind his ear so to keep it from his dark eyes.
"So that's what happened?" Gin had listened to his friend's grand adventure from the previous night and afternoon. He had to admit that it did fill in some holes on how their four friends had suddenly appeared in the village. He could remember the look on his mother's face when Ikus suddenly appeared next to the inn.
"Yup. Master Erk is here to see a woman and her child, and I think he means me and mom. I mean, how many women here with kids live without husbands?" Reka had his theory on who exactly Sage Erk had been looking for. His mother had been the only one from what Klaja had told him to have arrived in the village and live there. No one else had since the start of the village. His mother never discussed her life before he was born and he didn't exactly ever ask her to. He had only once asked her about his grandmother since all the other kids in the village had one.
"Ah.......So what are going to do if you have to go to Ostia?" His friend pulled him out of his reverie. Gin smiled drinking out of a small mug with cold water in it. Reka smiled back gently. He really had no idea but his mother, knowing her, would protest.
"Well, it matters what I'm going to do there and if mom'll go."
"That's true. I can see the priceless look on the Healer's face if you got dragged off by some man she was scared of." The way Reka had described the man and the Healer's interaction with him was what he considered frightening. After all, th only time the Healer would send Reka to the village when there was a person at her house was when she was frightened for him.
"I don't think she was scared of him really. I think she was more or less.......unprepared to see him." Reka had seen some sort of warm recognition in his mother's eyes, and warmth hidden behind shock in the sage's eyes. He knew that they had shared a past together yet, he didn't realize what it was they shared.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Mom is only scared of squirrels and spiders and we both know that." With this, Reka began drinking some of his warm soup, trying hard not to remember the scenes his mother often went through when she saw either.
"The Healer's frightened of a furry rat and eight-legged freaks?!" At this, Gin who was normally very smart at keeping his mouth closed, laughed his head off. Gin hadn't known that the normal things most of the kids in the village played with were what the Healer was afraid of!!
"Yeah. She just hates to deal with squirrels. She got me convinced that St. Elimine created squirrels to scare women and spiders were there for torture. That was when I was about a few years old though. Don't believe in it anymore." Reka felt a grin fall upon his lips, a few chuckles escaping his mouth. It was a silly phobia his mom had about squirrels.
"So, what if Master Erk wants to take you as his squire or whatever sages do with mage kids?" Gin seemed to suddenly become serious from his laughing fit. He was worried for Reka. This man was apparently a very nice person and yet if Reka left the village everyone would be out of a friend and a healer. He hoped that Reka wouldn't have to leave.
"I want to go. It's just I don't think mom would go for coming out of the village. She won't even allow me to go to the Midsummer festival down in Galesberi, which is only seven leagues from here. So think of us actually going to Ostia. Nuh-huh. No way, she's going to think about that." Reka winced visibly at thinking of when he had snuck off to Galesberi with Jun, Ikus, Thom, Miles, Gin, and Nyne. His mother had raised hell when he got back. Her anger was nearly something he never wanted to deal with ever again, though he did it time and time again.
"Yeah, I remember when you asked to go to Galesberi. It felt like you asking if you could be the Anti-Elimine. She nearly chained you up when she found out you went with us." Gin winced as well. The Healer's harsh words came only after she hugged her son and smiled in a carefree dangerous sort of way. The next time any of the villagers had gotten sick, she had supposedly 'lost' all the herbs in an uncontrolled fire from Reka's training.
"Well, I think mom's not going to be coming for awhile." Looking up to the water clock, Reka noticed that he had been at the inn for nearly four hours already. Remembering something Ikus told him, he shrugged his shoulders in thought.
"Why's that?" Gin was sometimes too curious for words to describe.
"Well, you remember what Ikus and Thom said right?" Gin had been there for the whole conversation about men and women staying somewhere.
"Not really. What'd they say?" With a shake of his red hair, Gin stared intently at his friend with red eyes.
"well, they said if your mom doesn't come to get you within three hours and she has a man at the house then they're having an all-night argument."
"Really?"
"Yeah, so I suppose mom will come tomorrow, tired and everything since she's having an all-night argrument."
"Hopefully, she'll sleep during the day so you can come to the village and play."
"Yeah, Can you imagine staying up all night?"
"Nope. Imagine what their voices might sound like in the morning."
"Mom will sound like she'll have a cold. Well, that's nothing to a few drops of mint."
"I hope your mom never gets as angry as Ikus's mom and Thom's dad do when they're in the same house together."
"I hope after my coming of age ceremony that she never decides to get angry enough to have an all-night argument with me. I think I'd die because of lack of sleep."
"Yeah."
"Well, let's go to bed since my mom went."
I love Reka!!! He's so innocent!! That last part of the fic was really funny to me as I typed it. sighs Maybe one day Erk and I will have our own all-night argument.
Erk: In your dreams.
That's where I plan to have them baby unless I can get a guy I know to cosplay you. Teehee!!!
Serra: Loki, here's a small keyword for you when you look at Erky. MINE.
Xx I know, I know.....Anyway, I have no idea on how to get Serra to go to Ostia with Erk. This is chapter is not a night of unrestrained passion but just something for all of you Serra x Erk people. I had to put in some small thing for you lucky people. All your reviews have been very uplifting to me, so I have been trying to type this up to keep you guys happy.
A kind of warning to everyone. I will NOT be updating Drunken Lullaby for at least two weeks. Why? Because I am going to American Falls in two days to go and get my ass kicked for a week from foam-fighting at Chaos Wars. (more info go to ) well, anyway, that and I might just be alittle too tired to type anything from everything right afterwards, also I have a new job to paint my neighbor's jumping horse thingy posts and the Ren faire. So it may take nearly a month to update this fic if I concentrate on it heavily in my free time.
Lastly? My Priscilla and Heath one-shot will not be done for a few weeks along with my other one-shot.
Anyway, I gotta go. So loves to alls!! AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!
