Drunken Lullaby ::An Erk and Serra story::

Chapter 5: Gunning Down Romance

"I'm gunning down romance

It never did a thing for me

But heartache and misery

Ain't nothing but a tragedy

Love, Don't leave me."

-Savage Garden "Gunning Down Romance

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She could only feel the soft supple skin of her mage and yet, she knew this was wrong. It had only been a split second after she had given into his kiss, but she knew she wasn't ready for this. After all this hurt and anger he brought up, he dared to try to override her best interest.

'So what if I missed this?' She paused in her thoughts, pushing the mage away. 'No!! I.....I can't........Not to Reka...not to Erk.........' She watched his eyes as if they burned her very soul into the depths of hell. She remembered why she hadn't professed her love to Erk openly. She didn't want to be hurt in case he rejected her.

His body didn't reject her, but his mind was disgusted with her. She couldn't tell exactly because she was confused. Pushing the arms she had been held with, the same ones she dreamed of every night and wished were around her every morning, Serra felt her mind spinning in disarray. Black dots dancing upon her vision when she felt so nervous clouded her sight. Her stomach was ready for an upheaval and she wouldn't willingly give in. She was too stubborn to look weak in front of Reka's strong father.

Her mind was racing as he was staring at her in question. Erk's mind was pondering her actions, as his body seemed to question his mind why he would hate this thing of beauty? After all, her only problem had been her personality in a whole; but then again, he still wanted it back. Yet this new mysterious Serra also intrigued his fascination. He wanted to know both sides of the darkened coin of the two-sided woman.

She had always been in his thoughts, albeit in the back of them, but still in them nonetheless. His memory of despairing over whether or not there was a place quiet enough that Serra possibly wasn't nearby and he nearly chuckled at himself. Eight years ago, he had been a fool. The same could be said true of the moment. He was a lovesick fool who had found the woman who sired his child and he had kissed her without saying anything about him liking her or anything that she searched for truthfully.

But his exact feelings couldn't exactly be placed. He had never experienced loving another woman for being herself. He had gratitude for Serra raising his child but he felt so many things when he had talked to her and then again when he had kissed her. It felt like his soul was on fire with the licks of a thousand tear-stained suns. A near paradox and yet, it was the only he could describe the luscious touch he had stolen from her lips.

'I better quit that poetic description or else I'll be turning into Sain. What else am I going to think next? That I want to be a paladin mage?' His comical thoughts betrayed his true emotions. Cynical whenever stress got to him mostly, his fingers grasped the ends of mantle in order to calm his shaking hands, concerned whether or not if he should go away for the moment, when both adults had time to think over. His amethyst eyes took in the figure before them and nearly felt a droplet of pure sorrow fall down his cheek. He had tormented the bishop in front of him nearly enough to make him want to take whatever she threw at him, pain and all.

"I........I can't......" She finally muttered between the unjustifiable silence that her high-pitched voice cut through easily. He didn't question her motives, but then again, he was too busy questioning his. Her tender voice seemed ashamed of herself as she walked over to the table, sat down on the wooden stool and looked up at Erk. Her pinkish-hued eyes taking him in more slowly than before.

She licked her lips and shook her head. It was too much. She couldn't be with Erk. She couldn't just have this man come into her life now, waltzing in with her into Reka's life also. She just simply couldn't do this to her son.

She was afraid. What if she left Erk AND Reka because she couldn't cope with the idea of settling down with Reka's father in the picture now?! His bright face would remain upon his beautiful countenance but he wouldn't understand until he was older and more able to comprehend his mother's reasons and her actions. Serra knew deep down that she was hypocrite to herself and her hopeless dreams that she dreamt every night.

Scorning herself once more for her stupidity, she wrapped her hand around the staff she had in her belt, pulling it out. The smooth alabaster reflected against the firelight in the fireplace. A crescent showing that it was a mend, with a jewel that bedazzled the crescent. When Serra had accomplished understanding the mend staff's spell, under Priscilla Cornwall, she immediately had one on her at all times along with a healing stave. She took comfort and strength when she was devoid of it from St. Elimine's gifts such as the tomes of divine magic and the rods of healing.

Practically wishing she knew how to face the man in front of her, she calmed her hysteric nerves as best as she could, though her fingers that grasped the smooth stave, wanted to grasp the mantle that the bemused and slightly ashamed mage held upon his warm body. Her eyes darkened as she asked herself a pondering question although her mind could not seem to facilitate an answer.

Would she ever be ready to face a life with Erk?

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Reka got up after finishing his cup of warmed juice and his soup when Gin heard the knock from the door. Going to look over to Reka, Gin got up, gingerly placing his own warmed cider on the wooden table, then went to the peep hole. He saw the tale-tell pick hair before he heard the soft command of the Healer's voice. The Healer had acted strange and was now acting even stranger. She certainly must've had some words for the sage that Reka had told him about.

No one in Lycia or even the St. Elimine-given Earth could up stand to one of the horrendous tongue-lashings she seemed to prepare when a child did any wrong to her or the village. She didn't argue a lot with Klaja or Brigitte, but that was because they had easily been her benefactors when she had needed the most help.

"Get Reka." He nodded, opening the door to her although she didn't make an effort to enter into the warmed inn. She merely acknowledged the red-haired boy's effort with a nod then looked towards her son, the ever-contemplating joyous Reka. Looking towards the door, Reka felt the eyes of his mother and could almost swear to feel the chaos that his mother radiated. He loved her and didn't want her to cry. He never did.

"I'm coming, mom." He told her, picking his things up from the floor around him then put on his boots and cloak, sliding his scribe's purse on top. The leather purse was in great contrast to the grey woolen traveler's cloak. He didn't know why but it seemed as if his mother was afraid to go to him or even to talk. She seemed as if she would break in two almost.

Glancing to the innkeeper's son, Reka smiled and hugged his friend goodbye. Once he approached his mother, he knew that she was highly distressed as if she couldn't say what exactly her argument with the sage master, Erk was. Her eyes were puffy, red from tears that had been shed. Reka immediately frowned at his mother; He didn't like the fact that she had broken her promise to him. Well, maybe not so much from their promise but one from herself.

The sage had a tongue like a mongoose then, easily snatching up his mother's viperous tongue and dissolving the hard bladed poison from it. This was a man not easily dealt with, especially if it was from the tongue-lashing and spell-casting mouth of his mother's. She briefly seemed to smile; happy to see him yet she knew that he had to go back to see Erk.

After all, she had to go and find some place to be. She couldn't think with Erk being so near. Her barriers were starting to crumble the ice around her heart melting. She simply couldn't do it. She needed some time by herself still so she could sort out what she was going to do.

Besides Erk had made a simple request, well a few actually and she could indulge one or two of them while she thought about the rest. She had subtly agreed in a small way and found that she could not do him any injustice in allowing some of them while she pondered others.

Walking from the village with her son in two, Serra couldn't quite place herself along with her feelings. She wasn't able to. How was she supposed to completely make up her mind about some of the requests when she wasn't even sure if she could do them!! Sighing, she took out a mend staff, twirling the featherweight bone stave between her slim but strong fingers.

"Reka?" They were nearby the cottage now. She turned around, stopping in the middle of their pathway. The night breeze picking up the ends of his mother's hair and sifting through them as if they were grains of sand falling between a squeezed fist to join their brethren back on the ground. Her countenance showed seriousness, he barely believed her to have, considering his mother been rather spontaneous and always happy, more carefree than serious.

"Yes?" His voice was terse with confusion. Why was his mother stopping even before they got home? She seemed to ponder for a few seconds more, wondering if he had remembered whom she was going to tell him about.

"Do you remember when a rather weary traveler came to our house when you were five?" She could remember coming across the man, worn down to the bone from pneumonia and hunger. He had been nearly killed from underestimating the winter weather in Laos even if it was close to Ostian winters within temperature but not ferocity.

"Yes," The ever-attentive boy knew exactly she was talking about. "His name was Legault, right?" He questioned his memory only slightly. He could barely remember the sick man lying down on his and his mother's bed near the fire. The sick man, when awake, told him stories of the Lycian League and many adventures about men from bardic songs.

"Yes. Legault was one of your mom's comrades when she fought in the Lycian League." She had said it so calmly!!! Reka felt as if he was going to die from astonishment!! HIS mom, HIS mother was part of the heroic league of nobles that had gone against the dark evil man, Nimrod or something; he never liked the weird evil man in the story so he never thought to remember the old man's name.

He could remember that apparently that from the stories that Legault had told him, he had married the tactician, Seras, whom was currently in Bern as Prince Zephiel's advisor for a short while. So he had been heading that way when he got caught in the winter weather and got ill.

"You were in the Lycian league?!" He finally found his tongue in his amazed mind. His eyes shone from the strength knowing that his mother, HIS mom, had gone up against all the evil men that the Lycian league had been against, although she probably wasn't on the battlefield, he thought darkly. His visage considerably fell as he thought that.

Noticing, Serra knew she couldn't allow her son to think she had too much to do with them, but she couldn't lie to him that she was just a cleric in the healing tent, after all, Erk just might tell Reka some stories from the Lycian League, such as the time when Sain tried to get a love letter to Rebecca and it turned into a weird thing that everyone else thought the love letter was directed to them instead. 'Poor Sain!!' Serra quickly thought to herself. She could remember everyone having a hard time figuring out if the letter was to them or not. Sain had forgotten to write it to Rebecca and whom it was from.

"Yes........I was a bishop within my order before things got bad there. I personally knew the Lycian lords and helped serve them. Anyway, Master Sage Erk is a good friend of mine who was there in the Lycian League also. He's a very close person to me, Reka." She knew she downplayed her involvment with the Lycian League, but she supposed when Reka would be older, he'd understand much better. His face picked up but not with as much excitement as before.

"Okay." He nodded understanding his mother's downplay of her abilities and involvement of the Lycian League era. Anyone who had been associated with the Lycian lords were of course an important part of the league. He didn't give anything away from his facial expressions though deep inside he was writhing in excitement. Maybe Erk could give him a few details his mother wouldn't!!

"I'll have to leave soon. Since it is fall, our herbs will be ripe for harvesting soon and so will the ones in the highlands. I'll need you to stay here with Erk to harvest them and to learn more from him than I can teach you. I'll have to go to the highlands tonight since the herbs need to be picked very soon because a flue epidemic is more than likely to occur. You know that those herbs are the only ones that can ease the flu here." Serra looked up, thoughtfully. It was the excuse she had come up for since it was true that she did need to go to the highlands to harvest the ones she could there.

"I see, mama." Reka nodded once more, taking in the underlying order of picking the herbs in the garden and checking upon their vegetable garden. His hands wouldn't have time to practice the arcane magic he knew. Ever since he had been able to set off his first small flame, Reka practiced as hard as ever when he got the time to practice. His mother had mentioned that he had her as a good teacher since she could remember the exact way he had to move his hands and everything since she had a really great memory.

"That's a good Reka. Once I get back, some things may change. Maybe for the better or maybe for the worse. I really don't know, Reka, but some things will change." Her tone was omnious and frightening as if she was a prophetess telling him his future depended on some decision he was about to make. Her eyes darkened as she looked upon her son. It would soon be time.

"Yes." With a defiant smile on his face, Reka faced her well against the gravity of her words. His chin was up and his light amethyst eyes darkened with the fire of his spirit being bridled beneath. A grin came across Serra's features as she watched her son's eyes flicker with his spirit.

"So strong, my little Reka. You are really growing up Reka. You show such resiliency much like your father does." He was strong like his father, Serra had to concede that. Both of the mages in her life dealt with a hand wrongly dealt with them though sometimes she knew that Reka had been better off than Erk was when they were his age.

"Will you ever be able to tell me about him, mama?"She could feel her mask slitting in half merely because of her son's question. Her heart pounded as she thought what she could tell him now at the tender age of seven. She knew that he would not understand much but maybe again, he would. Reka was much more easily grown up than she ever could be at times which frightened her. So unknowingly he was like a copy of his sire.

"You'll know soon enough. How about when we got to either Etruia or Ostia for your mage apprenticeship? You'll be around twelve then, and I'm sure you'll be able to understand everything, if not earlier." She settled upon her answer, promising not only to him silently but to herself also that she would tell her son about the predicament and everything that he had been born from.

"I'm really going?!" His whole face brightened with the beacon of hopeful euphoria. Serra watched his hopefulness and finally decided concede. She wasn't supposed to play with him. She had to go and harvest the herbs in the highlands and also to mull over a few suggestions.

"Yes, you are!! Why wouldn't you be?! You're a strong young mage in your own right, Reka. I don't see why I wouldn't allow it. You might even get a sage to teach you!!" She gave her son the best smile she could manage,. Looking as cheesy as a ready to melt provolone slice of heaven.

"A sage?!" His face brightened to resemble something of a bright torch in the pale nightlife around him. Yes, she'd have to definitely tell him soon. Pausing in her thoughts, Serra contemplated watching both father and son and completely forgetting about the herbs but she knew she couldn't.

"Yes, a sage. But that will have to wait. Now I'm going to the stables to get on my way. I love you Reka." She'd already knew she had spent too much time with her little boy and by the way that Erk was watching her from the doorway, she knew she had to leave before her body's impulses took over again.

"I love you, mommy." Her son's sweet voice began to spread a sense of serenity through out her body. She was often amazed at how he could easily calm her by those three words that Erk could never or actually would never say. She wouldn't doubt it after their past lives with each other.

"If I'm not back within a week or so, then go with Erk to the way station to the highlands. I'll either be there, waylaid with difficulties, or if I'm not there within a week of the two of you getting there then, go with Erk. He will take care of you." She went through the same procedure she always did when she went off to the highlands or any of the other places where she would be gone for awhile, except this time she told him to stay with Erk instead of Jun or the old mage.

"Okay mama. Hopefully you'll have a good journey. St. Elimine watch over you and bless you!!" He smiled and hugged his mother, kissing her blushing cheeks as she did the same to him. Her precious child was going to be gone from her soon. She walked over into the stables and rose up in her saddle upon her horse. Coming out, she stopped for a moment to where Reka waited for her.

"You too. Love you my precious Reka." She looked down, smiling to her son then spurred her horse into a gallop. She wanted to make the half-way point by tomorrow morning. It was then she could truly rest until she went to the mountains and came back. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to deal with bandits.

"...........Your mom........She really is special." He stood in the doorway as Reka approached watching the traveling horse and its maiden ride away to the dangerous highlands. She had told Erk that he may have at least a week with he-their son. Erk couldn't seem to get off his mind the angel-demon thing that he had found once more. His heart was still cold but now it seemed as if the lonliness he once felt was gone away.

"You think so, Master Erk?" Reka motioned to him with a wave of his hand. Smiling seeing as he got to be with a sage from the Lycian League no less for a week. Suddenly, picking up a gentle air from this sage, the boy's smile turned eager expressing his gratitude, even if he still watched his mother go.

"Yes. Come inside please. I wouldn't want my...friend's son to get pneumonia while she went away." Erk was right in that retrospect. He almost was going to say his son but then he remembered that Reka wasn't going to be allowed to know. Serra had made it very strictly placed. She would be the one to tell Reka when she thought he was old enough. Of course, though, he wouldn't want to even try to tell his son that. He barely knew the boy and yet he couldn't help as they both walked back into the warm cottage, closing the wooden oak door, that he did love his child.

"Master Erk?" He looked back towards the child, worn almost by a thin string of longing. He would have never once thought that he would have a child in his late twenties. Now that he watched the curious mage, he could only smile deep down at the love that he felt for this being though it was hard to try and make a connection it seemed.

Yes?" He replied solemnly, not allowing his longing to hold the child to his chest, pressing the folds of his tunic till they were neat, or combing his hair back with a fatherly hand. Those were things his father had done for him when he was but six, before he lost both his parents and got sent to the orphanage and then eventually to the ex-Magic General Lord Pent.

"Did you know my dad?" Erk almost lost it all as he tried breathing. 'Why in all of the hells is he so inquisitive?! Probably because he's Serra's and my son. That explains a lot, doofus.' Okay, so his brain wasn't exactly on the average for good information in the game, but then again lying through his teeth was like trying to hit a homer on a ground ball.

"Wha-what?!" Deep down, he was panicking like some fire ant had just bit its poison into his ass. The child who watched him from underneath purple bangs became easily amused with the sage's ever changing purple eyes. They showed confusion and guilt and also a bit of something he often say in his mother's eyes. Secretly, Erk pleaded to St. Elimine, then continued to curse Serra and her law. 'I really don't like you right now, Serra.'

"My dad. Did you know him?" It was the moment of truth. Could he lie to his son? Many parents had to often find the answer to many questions such as 'Where do babies come from?' or his all time least favorite, 'What's sex?' And like many parents before, he searched for Serra rapidly for a moment, then came up with a half-truth. He just hoped one day that he wouldn't have to explain what was sex or where the hell babies come from, because in all honesty, he barely had an idea.

"Umm.......Yes.....I know him quite well...Let's not try to get information out of me that your mother should tell you." Quickly, looking away from that pair of eyes much like his own, purple, mysterious and regal, he changed his direction to the wall as he spoke the wall, ashamed to his ears that he was lying to his child in a way, although in retrospective, Erk did know himself quite well.

"All right." Reka had noticed Erk's side glance to the rather uninteresting wall. He knew that it had been only a few seconds since he had questioned twice. Shrugging away the look to the rather boring piece of wood, Reka sat down at the table, bored.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Erk was starting to run out of questions as he knew that the inevitable moment and question was on both their minds would approach. Would they share a bed like mother and son or not? He hoped for the former, personally, but knew that he would more than likely count on the latter. Pausing the mage looked down towards the two soup bowls that had been left out. One had been washed out by the diligent hand washing of the ex-cleric.

"I had some warmed soup." The boy nodded to help confirm his ideas about the sage. Master Erk seemed to be as if he was around a bandit that had taken every spell that he ever memorized but then again, he probably wasn't used to kids. The man looked as if he was probably in his mid-twenties much like Kardis the baker's daughter that was getting married over in Glastinbury.

"Are you still hungry?" Erk walked over to the pot of stew that he had made for himself and Serra and then to the two bowls. He hoped that Reka wasn't as picky as he was as a kid. He could remember that once he was able to choose what he wished to eat, he was pickier than a cat almost. Serra had remarked on his habits when they had traveled together, forcing him to lose it not only because of her but just the fact that Sain and Lucius couldn't cook.

"A bit." Reka's stomach grumbled lowly as if it was indeed the hungriest pit in the world waiting for its next human victim that would stumble and fall into its dark abyss. The stew did look appetizing. Erk nodded to himself, serving the rest of the meaty sauce into the waiting bowl that Serra had.

"That's good. I may not be that skilled in cooking taste, but I made some warm stew for us both to eat." It was true in all of his memories. Sain was the worst cook on the earth unless it had something to do with chocolates, then he could rock the world with his almost irresistable chocolates. It was one of the main reasons Fiora had even considered him as boyfriend material.

"Did mom eat some?" Upon placing a wooden spoon down for the boy along with the bowl filled with warm food, Reka almost dug in except for the thought of his mother going out to the highlands with nothing sustaining her body. She had done it once and had worried him heavily when Jun and him had to travel down to the half-way station because she had pushed herself too hard that she caught a cold on her way back.

"Yes. She did." Relieved, Reka proceeded gobbling up the contents within the bowl. The meat tasted much like rosemary had been sprinkled on them along with a bit of mint to spike the taste. The carrots had been cooked to the point that they were not completely soggy nor exactly as crisp as they were when they were raw. Then the potatoes were buttered and slightly tinged with black to increase the taste of the onion upon the seasoned cutlets. All in all the meal wasn't too awful, only one meal maker was above this one and that was his mother.

"Why did you come to see mom?" Finished, he asked the question that had been undeniably upon his mind for most of the night. Placing the bowl and spoon in the sink, rinsing them with some of the water in the pail, he rose up, approaching the seating sage. Settling upon the high-ranked sorcerer, Reka felt the sense of loss and longing rising up within the man.

".........I had to....." As soon as the words were mumbled out, Reka understood that the man looked a lot older, older than perhaps Bridgette, the brittle old biddy of the world, who had taken her apprentice from the village children. Erk's purple hair seemed to shroud his face into self-doubt and discrimination against himself as if he were defeated to the reasoning.

"Okay." Reka wanted that look to go away. He wouldn't want to see a horrible defacing coming to the man or as horrid as a gesture it seemed to make. The sage, noticing the depressing mood upon the room decided finally to brighten up.

"Do you want me to tell you a story?" He grinned, noticing that the boy still bore resemblence of his fighting from the bandits. His skin still darkened to his slight cuts and nicks from axes and swords that barely touched him. Erk realized with a rather acute scrutiny from his obsessive cleanliness in a student, that the boy not only looked as if he rolled into a thorn bush, but also had the stench of sweat rising around him.

"Yes!! Can you tell me one about the Lycian League?! Please!!!!" His excitement was overly convincing for Erk to almost let the child get away without a bath but if they were to share the same bed, he was not going to have a skunk's absent cousin's daughter's father's brother's uncle twice removed to be sleeping next to him.

"Yes, of course only after you get a bath." He noticed the fall within the child's exhuberance. Erk could remember when he thought all bathtubs were evil and swallowed little children up for pleasure. It wasn't completely his fault that his friends from the orphanage had encouraged that behavior and until he met Pent, he thought that going for ten days without a bath was acceptable.

"Awww...Can we just say I bathed?" But it certainly was a broken habit and he could understand why Pent had discouraged the habit rather forcefully. Even as tactful as Lord Pent normally was, he had thrown Erk into the bathtub and had seven house guards and a maid stay in the bathroom and not to allow him out till he was clean every morning and every evening for the two daily family meals.

"No." Stern as he could remember Lord Pent being, he crossed his arms across his chest looking like the epitmy of strictness. The boy seemed to inch closer to the sage, his body scent growing strong. Erk felt almost grateful for the fact that he had patience that went beyond years of comprehending. If he had to deal with Serra for at least two campiagns, he could deal with almost anything even personal she-devils who were too nosy and too beautiful to really turn away from.

"Pleaaaase?" His hands were clasped as if begging for mercy against a torture that was not needed. To him bathing was abhorring. He hated it with a passion since he was little. He could remember often when he would come back from a day's work and his mother would not let him even touch his food until he batherd. Sometimes he went half-a-week without a bath merely because he would be in town for awhile or on a journey with his mother.

"No." But apparently, Erk didn't take pity on his plight of the bathtub that was evil. Shaking his head to conrfirm the boy's suspicions that the sage might possibly be the evil bathtub's accomplice that had also brainwashed his mother into accepting it. Of course, any boy of seven thought that those things were evil, after all they were for ninny girls like Pinto and her best friend, Anne.

"Pretty please?" If his eyes were to get any bigger, Erk would have to wonder if they would burst upon his clothes. He at least hadn't thrown the boy in the tub. He was saving that as a last resort if reasoning couldn't come though. Though large lashes and voluminous purple eyes as cute as a puppy dog's stared back at him, he felt ready to crumble, then he thought of a threat that would help his resolve against the boy.

"No. Do it or no stories." That was enough said as those big eyes and lashes became diminutive, amazingly small within the matter of seconds that they seemed to be the largest things on the whole Lycian continent. Erk, happy with his resolve, nodded to affirm his answer to the already waited doomed child.

"Okay....." Reka nodded to himself as he went into the warmed tub, smelling his mother's soap from its wetness, lilacs, and the shampoo and conditioner. Taking off all his clothes and going in, he grumbled, hoping against will that the damned bathtub and cleaning should go down somehwhere to hell.

Thinking darkly to himself as he did the necessary things, his thoughts came upon the threat.

'That better be a good story to listen to.'

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Okay, finally finished!! ;; This story was never really on hiatus. I just had to hand-type everything back onto my old computer because my laptop is getting completely revamped. Anyway, I am sooo happy about the red sox winning the world series and everythin'. Johnny Damon so rocks.

Vote on either Ikus, the tomboy or Nyne, the kindest girl for Reka. The ending depends on you!!!!! I am almost finished with this, just a few more chapters until it is finished then I will try to end of Earth and Wind and then I'll finish Adventure between the line. After I finish those two, I will do two new fics. One for Fire Emblem called Lucius 1/2 based off of Ranma 1/2, and Twisted Nerve, a band story for SH.

Then also a whole bunch of one-shots while I write all these chapters!! Go WRITERS!!! It may also take me another while to type up another chapter. I have quite a bit of excitement going on in December and the end of November, considering that I have finals and everything this next week. Anyway, wish me luck getting As I need them.

THANKS!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!

BAI TO ALL AND LOVES TO ALL TOO!!!!