Drunken Lullaby : An Erk and Serra Story:
Chapter 7: Calm Inside the Storm
"I can get upon the right side of the bed
But that won't stop the rain
From coming down on my head
I can live my life
Playing hide and seek
But when I look inside
It's hard to make believe"
-Cyndi Lauper 'Calm Inside the Storm'
The darkness seemed like a good thing to walk through carrying the only shred of light he wished he didn't carry. The priceless time that he wanted to hold onto, the façade his mother wore and the acknowledgement of not having a father was washed away from the time he now held.
Would he be able to treat this man as his father? The answer couldn't come.
The man already treated him like a piece of his own family, but would that family now carry on that he knew that the man was no longer who he seemed to be. He was no longer 'just' a simple sage. Master Sage Erk was his father. His father, Master Sage Erk.
The nighttime was perfect, he supposed after all, it helped him go inward even if he was brought out of his thought by stumbling over something little like a rock. The village lay over the hill, the red light of fire shining as a beacon for all. The river by his feet however, soothed over the loud crackles of fire.
He was now alone. At least, he thought he was.
"Reka?" The question raised his head out of thought and into the reality that he lived in. A nine-year old girl stood across the riverbank, eyes wide at the sight of his nearly naked form. He hadn't thought to wear anything as he escaped his house to escape the words. The girl's eyes widened even more as she realized that it was who she thought.
"Reka! You lummox! What are you doing here without some sort of cover or cloak or…..or something?"
He grimaced, trying to make a small sort of smile. He wasn't able to hide his feelings very well. His mother abhorred lying like the plague that came years before during the Second Lycian War. He never even tried to lie like other kids had for he knew his mother would eventually find out anyway.
"Hi, Ikus." He gave a small wave, bundling more of himself into a ball on the riverbank. Ikus had come out for at least three days with the swordsman, Yui that was under the direct command of the Healer. Her green eyes only narrowed angrily at him. Ikus hadn't forgiven him for not going with her and the other boys to the river after each of them recovered.
"Hi, sheep head. I heard your mom's coming home soon. What's going on with that magic man you have? Is your mom going to keep him as a pet or something?" She tilted her head to the side, wild lime hair falling like shag, eyes narrowed with anger and hand propped up. Reka internally flinched as he thought for what to do logically and what was going to happen logically. Would the man leave him and his mother again? Or would his mother take him away from him? Would they move away to Ostia or what? He had no clue as to what may happen to him.
Biting his cheek, he thought of what the man had said to him. The man was searching for them and had found them, whether or not it was by fate, Reka had no idea as of yet. But why was the man searching for them? He had mentioned something about Ostia. Reka, sadly, could not seem to remember much except for those words coming out of the man's breath. He seemed to replay the image over and over.
As he thought, night was perfect to think over in, after all, one didn't get many distractions except for the fact that now he was sharing space with the tomboyish Ikus, a fighter that could land a blow to his cheek before he would blink, though he could utter a spell before she could land the blow, if he was prepared enough, of course.
"Hey! It's polite to answer questions when they're addressed you, lunkhead! Growling, a pathetic attempt made by imitation of her master, Ikus deciding sat down beside him and looked over his thoughtful form.
His knees were up against his chest being held by his thin, wispy arms all in nothing more than a tunic of beige.
Pathetic looking, really.
"Geez, what's wrong? You look like someone from the dead came back to haunt you."
He didn't answer, lilac eyes widening, looking away into the dark river.
His face showed such innocence that had been torn away from him by words merely mumbled after a dream that could not be real. Could it be true though? His wonder escaped him as he looked up to the green-haired tomboy, eyes assessing what he already knew of her.
Could eyes that green keep his secret? Could they keep the fear at bay?
Reka had no idea what to think anymore and thought of his mind as more a curse than a blessing like his mother always thought of it.
What was it with the idea of knowing everything? It was a common thirst that he had learned he had shared with Sage Master Erk. The master had told him many things amongst what he had learned from his mother. He could remember a story that the master had told him about when he was younger, trying to warn the boy about the hunger of knowledge.
The ambition and drive was hard to satisfy as he learned from Erk. Shivering, a flash of a hand waving before his eyes caused him to fall out of the deep hazed look of deep thought to the area around him.
Then his thoughts were brought back to him in an instant as he looked upwards towards the lime-colored recruit. Her eyes showed such a concern that he could only see in his mother's and Erk's eyes. With the mere thought of the sage master's name, he went to some new thoughts.
Ostia…..
If he went to Ostia, what would become of the village, Yui, and most of all, Ikus? What would Ikus do? Would she really succeed as the swords master of the village after Yui or would she become another cold body in the ground before she turned fifteen, maggot feed for the worms and decaying predators?
Would she be safe if they left? Her foolhardiness often made Reka be her reluctant rescuer, although she never minded him coming to pick up her messes by much. To most, Ikus appeared to buff the other boys off her shoulders except for when she got into situations she could never get out of.
If he left, would he hear stories of her bravery or her foolishness? He would love to hear how she single handedly killed five hundred bandits or something of the like, but would she keep her mouth shut still?
Yes, she was his best friend or rather one of his best friends.
"Reka………" Her voice was concerned as those eyes looked upon the half-naked form of her friend. She really could not have imagined such a thing to happen to her strong willed friend, after all, who would want to see their idol be human?
That was right. Reka was her idol. She didn't act like the ground he walked upon was holy or anything but he was the closest person she would ever come to think of fawning over, so he was her idol.
She wasn't exactly attracted to him; after all he had weird mannerisms and was way too polite for her to stand half the time. Reka was the adult, the cool guy who seemed to tolerate hanging out with a bunch of the dweebs. To them, Reka was more grown up because of how he acted, thinking of his actions before he acted.
'Too much like a grown-up,' Ikus's mind muttered in disgust. She aspired to be like him in her own way though. She tried thinking ahead, as much as she could, though she never got used to the idea too much. She leapt before she thought and dealt with life that way. It was easier to do that than thinking too much of what could happen.
She was doing everything her way. She was concentrating on being almost exactly like him, just her. She had started showing some respect to her elders, though the ones she did show respect for were few and far between. She also was trying her best to be more mature, finding it harder to be child-like anymore when she was already becoming an apprentice for Yui full time.
She was also finding herself thinking of others more than herself nowadays. Reka never seemed to think of himself, at least to her anyway, and always protected the younger ones amongst their group of kids.
It was not as if she adored him like some girl who was hoping he'd one day propose to her. She just rather, in a matter of words, highly respected him since he had saved her that day over a week or so ago. Ever since then, Ikus knew it was time to stop being the childish brat she was and grow up a little so that she could make sure none of her friends experienced the pain she had gone through being tied up.
"You look as if the world ended but it hasn't. Time still goes on even if you want to get stuck in the past. All you can do is accept. It's eventually going to turn out for better, so don't worry about it, okay?" It was the only thing that she could think of to say to him with his face so crestfallen, eyes so resounding in the haunting memories of the past that she couldn't fathom the endless lilac colors that were myriad in the ghosts.
His eyes looked into her own; appreciative of the way she had not decided to question him further than before. He could tell she had the undying curiosity waiting to be satiated, the hungry look of her eyes just like his thirst for knowledge. Ikus, almost unlike him, had control over her thirst for knowledge and didn't tell him that he had to answer.
And he found that he was happy that way.
Smiling, eyes rebounding back into the present, Reka nodded and then wondered where she had learned that. His hand inched over and placed his fingers lightly on hers; wanting to in some way show that he was reassured. He had seen Thom's and Vern's parents do the same when Thom had lost his other parent. The gentle pet caused Ikus to look as if a fish had just opened its mouth and talked.
"Where did you hear that from?" His question nearly fazed her if she all ready hadn't been as shocked as she had been nearly during their entire conversation. It completely unnerved her that she could think that her idol, the closest thing to one anyway, was almost having a complete mental breakdown. Reka didn't let much annoy or bother him, but this had terribly.
Oh, well. She'd have to remind him of who he was that was all.
"You said it, silly! How can you not remember something you said after my da' passed away to the flu a few years ago." She smiled, justifying the reason she felt light-headed for it being late for her.
It was then she knew that she was doomed.
He smiled, just not any smile, but a smile she knew that she wanted to get for herself and only herself. Shaking her head as she felt her cheeks become hot, Ikus pointedly had to end it.
"Ikus……..I was wondering, if I go to Ostia with Erk and my mother, then will you still be you when I get to come back?" Reka was scared of asking if she'd be there for him, waiting for him to come back. He wanted to come back if he left. He loved it here.
He found out deep down that he would love to have a family one day here, simply because of the tranquility that was mustered around. This place was a haven for him most days.
He also didn't want Ikus to leave him or this haven. She was the one that always made it seem interesting and fun. This place would be not much fun without her getting into scrapes and everyone of the boys taking her out of them.
"O-of course! I promise!" She held out her hand, unabashed by the slight tinge of pink she held upon her face, pinky outstretched, waiting for a friend to claim its own end. Reka's diligent fingers reached out from his position, gently touching the inside of the pinky that she was almost unsure that his touch was there. Light as a father and quick as one as well, the spitting image of a mage in her mind.
"Pinky promise?" She knew this was a moment that would change her entire life. Just one silly promise for childhood friends should not ever seem as menacing as she could see the two forks in the path to her future. She could not promise truly she hoped, but anything to reassure him and to get him back inside was okay with her.
Smiling, Ikus went down the path of weeds, long begotten of ill will and negligence, the harder of the two as she could feel the brushes of loneliness start as she said the words to start her lonely journey to a forest of no regret then onto the shiny world of happiness where Ikus would do one thing she would never think of herself doing.
"Pinky promise. Now go home, you twit." Nudging with her hand as it was slowly released from the firm shake of pinkies; she poked him towards the hill where his mother and he lived with each other. The cottage lanterns were on as he had left them to be for that was a normal protocol at night.
"Okay, I will see you tomorrow." He knew he had to leave. Something had passed that would one day make his life change forever. He hoped Ikus had felt it as well for the mana that had passed through him to their interlocking pinkies had caused him to feel as if he was on cloud nine almost except for the slight glimmer of twisting pain that was gone as quick as it began.
"See you until then." With that she walked away into the darkness of the forest, holding a full gourd of water for herself. The smell of wet leather caused Reka to scrunch his nose up into a sense of enjoyment. He loved the smell of wet leather though he would never tell the girl that was nearly out of sight.
It was then that he remembered his manners.
"IKUS!" He yelled out into the night, cupping his pale hands to his mouth as if it were a volume spell from a useless tome that his mother had gotten from a friend in the village as a joke. The girl's small form turned around, fuming somewhat at his inane stupidity. He could get killed for yelling like that if there were any bandits around!
"What is it, you nilly?" She had run to a distance where she could talk normally to him, her breaths coming short as she held onto her legs. She hated running with a passion but she did it for Yui's training and that was about it.
"…….Thank you….." Smiling, Reka didn't know why he did it. It was another one of those moments no one had control of. He leaned forward and planted a very shy and chaste kiss to her cheek and ran back home leaving a stunned Ikus.
Up in the trees, watching the children in the meadow, Yui knew that he was now dealing with a bigger problem with Ikus who stared bewildered at the retreating figure of her friend.
LLLLLLLLLLL
It was morning and Erk wasn't sure what to do about Reka. The child was still sleeping as if he was sick and Erk did try to wake him up to no avail. The boy was a hard sleeper, almost as much as Serra had been when she fought with Lyndis's legion and Eliwood's elite.
He wanted her. He realized that now more so than ever. She haunted his dreams, keeping his mind constantly either in fervent nightmares or hellish sinful dreams that were, in a way, quite interesting if he ever played those ones out with the hellish she-demon.
He wanted her for more than her body though. She was the mother of his child so he had no need to worry about such a thing as family. He knew they had been young, but not too young to get married and start having children. But she had been a sister and he was only a sage's apprentice when he was with her until their second conquest.
She also was kind, loving, and sweet yet still oblivious, not as much, and a little selfish. He wanted her to think of him as if he were truly going to be part of her life though she refused to acknowledge such a thing from him.
He loved Reka, down right adored the child and wished often that he had heard the child's first word, seen his first step, and used his first spell. He wanted to be there even more so. He didn't want to miss out on anymore.
He wanted Reka to know him, to realize that the look-a-like stranger in his house was his father and that his father wanted something to do with him. He hoped that would be enough in this life since he didn't have much else to go one.
Nowadays, there were only two people in the world who could take up his mind and that had Reka, and Serra. He remembered their first meetings and their first arguments. He wanted to be apart of that once more. Share those things even more than he already had immersed himself into as he would deal with his feelings eventually.
He still was not sure about the love thing. He wished he could say but how would one know he was in love when one has never been loved in such a way before her. He didn't deal with women well and Serra, herself, was a basket case sent to him as punishment or guarding.
Hearing the scraping of the door, he turned around to see Serra walk in, her head lowered to the ground as she placed a basket on the table. The basket was filled with the aroma of eucalyptus, a smell that made Erk squirm from all the times he had to have that scent with him when he was sick.
She looked tired, dirt on the edges of her hems, darkened smudges from not bathing for at least a day, and a wry twist of her lips. He wanted to rush over and hug her to enjoy the feel of the woman he dreamed about day in and day out. He wanted her to know that he valued her.
Even if he didn't know how much anymore than she did.
"Welcome home." Startled, Serra looked up to Erk, who had stood up from his chair. Those words were so heartwarming to hear from him that Serra nearly wanted to fall down and cry in happiness. She had wanted to hear those words from him when she dreamed of their lives together.
His smile was warming, and she could tell that he had missed her and wanted to thank her somehow for giving him a week with their child. His eyes searched for his answer to his question. He didn't know, but he wanted to know why she caused him to think over his life in such a disdainful manner.
Her fingers unclenched and clenched her smooth light purple tabard. Her gloves smudging the dress with oil from her leather reins. She wanted to move up and hug his body but she knew that she had to limit herself from him; after all, he didn't love her.
"Reka and I will leave with you." She was straightforward in her decision, headstrong in her thoughts as she had traveled. Her mind thought long and hard over the repercussions but she was willing to deal with them. Lord Hector had ordered her there, in a matter of words and so she was to obey her overlord's decision even if it was through a vassal named Erk.
He stared at her for a second before he closed his mouth in after thought. He shouldn't gape. It was impolite. He hadn't thought Serra to agree to leave with him so readily. Her determined eyes showed such strength that Erk had to wonder where Reka really got his strength from.
Did his son become strong because of his mother's determination? He knew that when Serra put her mind to something, it was something that was going to get done by her. She didn't like the idea of other people handling her buisiness without her supervision.
He wondered what would happen now as she settled down onto a stool by the tub, Erk's old clothing lain strewn across the floor. Serra looked at him with such a look that immediately suggested he clean after himself. Sighing, the sage flicked a few of his fingers to form the silver pentagram in the air, casting an air spell that had been hybrid with summon spell to summon an invisible servant.
The clothes in no time were off the floor and hanging outside as his helper immediately disappeared after his task. Serra rose an eyebrow a few centimeters higher at the strange spell Erk cast.
"What was that?" Her voice was small, fearful of the subject. He remembered her first reaction to his experimentation with all kinds of magic. He had tried to get others to help him create a small assortment of spells that would help around like his master's patented sky eyes that were given to the school of tacticians that Master Tactician Viktor Talunis taught at.
He could remember his tactician, Seras, using the same spell with her innate magic ability that was as strong as a flickering ember in the sand. She could maintain two spells at once, such as a communication circle and the sky eyes but otherwise, she sucked at magic.
He had always wanted to make something that would help others and when he came across the Fenrir tome, his dreams had nearly come true. It was made even better when he started to dabble in the dark arts of summoning which he always was a bit apprehensive about approaching in his mind. Botching a summoning spell was never a pretty thing to witness but it was an excellent thing he was such a good mage.
"An experimented spell." He deemed that Serra's slightly disgruntled look was good enough to suggest that she didn't exactly approve of his love for experimentation. The pink-haired cleric had often been worried about mixing magic especially since he didn't always have time to set up the best barrier spells, especially before he became a sage. He had always had Serra or Lucius stay with him, barrier spells cast around them, in case he ran into a particular trouble during the experiment, which he admit was a few times.
He remembered one time when the she-demon had come out of their small experiment tent, one that the tactician had granted him out of Serra's loud annoying voice constantly barraging the easily-stressed woman, as a small pink cat that nearly clawed him to death in displeasure. She had stayed in that form for only a couple of days but once word got out that Erk had turned her into that, he was nearly getting paid in bags of silvers and jewels to perform it again.
Everyone had been getting the better end of the stick for those couple of days while Serra had landed with the short end of the stick.
"So you have been busy, haven't you?" A mere glance at his eyes and the ex-cleric wanted to fall away into the abyss of those dark eyes. He was almost too withdrawn, speaking only when asked a question. Prodding and poking like she had when she was with him was only one answer to the solution.
She was hoping he was going to warm up to her soon, forgiving her for her transgression against him. His eyes darkened considerably more from the already dark shade of amethyst that she had to wonder about. A small scowl passed over his lips that returned to the neutral position it had been in.
"Yes, I've been experimenting with spells and spell types so much that I always make Lord Pent worry along with his wife Louise." He had wondered if he should have told her that, but it was the truth. He had been so busy that he had nearly died from exhaustion and he never went out to enjoy the world which was another factor towards his skin being so soft and pale.
The woman sitting on the stool said nothing for a few minutes, wrestling herself away from the amount of worry and rebuking she wanted to do. She never wanted Erk to do that to her. Saint above, she hated when he would lock himself away to the thirst of his lust for knowledge, a desire that was not easily overridden unless it was forcibly. She was never ashamed to say that she interrupted his brooding "me" time that he set aside for himself every minute of every day.
She loved Master Sage Pent of Etruia in a fatherly way for when he had joined with Eliwood's party in Bern, she had been the welcoming party for their escaping, distracting wyverns as she used her tomes of light magic against the beasts of burden, scorching and even making some disappear into the light of Elimine's grace.
The man had treated her much like a doting parent would in her mind, giving her a chance to explain herself, amusing himself by watching her chase after Erk. He gave her many tips that she would have not found out through Erk. Pent was a gentle man at heart and more outgoing than most reclusive mages like Canas and Erk.
His wife was polite, even sweet but never very connecting to Serra. The woman never knew why she held such an uncomfortable air with Lady Louise who was as gentle as Lord Pent and as down to earth. It just seemed that Lady Louise did not approve of such a rowdy child for her Erk, but then again, she might have and Serra just felt too nervous around the royal elder.
"How are they doing?" She stressed the they even though Erk knew she mostly meant Lord Pent. He had gotten through tons of little misadventures because of that man with Serra's little amusing-herself plots that he somehow became the center of. He never knew why at all, though now he could take a few wild guesses that were probably never that far off.
"Lord Pent is taking a vacation to Nabata Desert to visit Hawkeye. Louise is doing charities around Bern, helping Seras, Legault, and the Prince Zekiel. The King was killed last year, I believe." Blinking, from his position on the bed, facing away from the two adults in the room, Reka began understanding that he was eavesdropping on his mother and their visitor that could possibly be his father if that had been indeed just a dream.
"Reka should go see them. Y'know just to see them." The boy wanted to raise his head and ask who he should go see but he had no idea. He knew that if he did that they wouldn't talk anymore and he would not get another chance like this to listen in on a conversation of his mother's.
"Serra…….." She raised her head in question.
"Yes?"
"I want to be his father." Reka sighed inwardly towards both relief and disappointment. He would like Erk to be his father for the man already acted like his father almost except for the man's inane idea of bathing every day. The boy breathed in easily, until his mother replied.
"You are." He couldn't deny it now. His mother never really lied to anyone, not even Reka for his own interests. She would simply tell him that he was crossing some sort of invisible line that his mother had. He felt his heart stop as the two adults continued on with their lengthy discussion.
"No, I want to be able to be there for him the entirety of his life. I want to take responsibility for him."
"Why?"
"I love him. He's a darling child of a union I didn't know we had till you left. I want to take responsibility since that day you took the responsibility away from me." The pupil felt slightly awkward. So his father did love him and it was his mother's fault he had no father for the first six or seven years of his life.
"I……"
"What?"
"I can't tell you if you can or can't………"
"Why not?"
"Ultimately, Erk, it will be Reka's choice." Reka was glad for this. He could then tell Erk before his mother would tell him. He wanted so badly to scream now as he searched for a way to calmly put his beating heart to a calming lull of sleep.
"Tell him the truth, Serra."
"I will…….."
"Soon."
"When we get to Ostia, he will know the truth."
"Thank you, Serra."
"……..That……" She was surprised. Erk was actually grateful for something that she had done? She pinched herself lightly on the cheek as she looked over at Erk with wide oculars meant for a deer that had just been spotted in the flare lights of a light spell.
"What?" He blinked for a few moments, wondering at her gaping, wide-eyed self had to be so surprised about.
"That's the first time you ever, ever said thank you to me!"
"Serra!"
"I…..I'm so sorry, Erk! I…I was just so….happy…."
"Whatever, Serra….." He cared. He really did care as she had hugged onto him, rubbing her face against his cheek and everything. Deep down, he realized that he did love her, though a little voice in his mind caused him to hide his blush and the small ember that was beginning to burst into a bonfire in his heart.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLL
AN: OMG! I UPDATED::Dodges pencils and other thrown objects: FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING SOOOO LONG! I got reaaaally lazy at the end of the chapter because I just wanted to finish with the dialougue! IT took me so long to decide how Serra's return should be like! I feel like slamming my head in a wall for how long it took!
FORGIVE ME DEAR FANS OF DRUNKEN LULLABY! I SHALL CRY TEARS OF PAIN FOR YOU!
Okay, please REVIEW!
