80. Basic Training

I'd expected Bella to return to her relentless training with Kate once Nessie had commandeered Zafrina's attention. Instead, she'd turned to me, and since I was no longer needed to play host, I had no excuse not to grant her request when she asked. In truth, she hadn't even needed to ask. I'd recognized the look in her eyes when she'd said my name.

"Let me guess," I muttered sourly. "You still want me to teach you how to fight."

"You promised."

"I did," I agreed. I could feel the unhappy scowl contorting my mouth, but couldn't come up with an argument against training her to fight that she might accept.

When I continued to hesitate, Bella raised an eyebrow and twisted her lips to the side, speculatively. "You're not afraid, are you? I promise I'll take it easy on you."

Appreciating the way she always managed to diffuse the tension, I snorted and attempted to match the levity in her tone. "If I'm to teach you how to defend yourself, I can't promise the same."

"Good! You'd better not hold back." Bella wagged a finger at me in mock severity.

"Let's head to our meadow, unless you'd like Emmett to finally see you lose a fight?"

"Aw, that don't count," Emmett complained, waving a hand at me in dismissal. If we're talking skills, I could take her easy. I just miss being the strongest.

"I guess you'll just have to settle for being the most annoying."

Uh, nope. Eddie-boy, you've got me beat there.

"By whose measure?"

Um, everyone's? Tell me they ain't all thinking it. Emmett glanced around at our guests, who were engaged in their own conversations or chatting with my family or inside, indulging in the luxuries of our home. Squatting for a few days in a victim's house was not quite the same as being invited to stay.

But he was right. Everyone could hear us - well, me - and more than one of them were irritated with the constant random snippets of conversation that Emmett had been complaining about for decades. While they appreciated the strategic advantages my gift provided, vampires weren't used to not hearing.

I sighed heavily. This was a fight I could never win.

Bella and I made our escape, and as we ran through the forest, I thought she looked happier than I'd seen in days. I supposed the prospect of training in something more tangible than stretching out her insubstantial shield must have lifted her spirits.

I wasn't looking forward to this.

Of course, I hadn't wanted to keep our plans on our first visit to the meadow either, and look how that turned out.

I liked wrestling with my brothers. It had been good fun sparring with everyone when we'd been training last spring. Play fighting, even under those life and death conditions, had always been fun.

This should be fun too, right?

Wrestling with Bella?

She wanted it, and who was I to deny her?

And it was better to be prepared, wasn't it? If nothing else, it would boost her confidence in herself, and that could never be a bad thing.

I loved any excuse to touch Bella. Since her change, I'd grazed my teeth against her throat and thrilled to feel her tremble beneath me. I'd playfully pounced on her during her first visit to my home, to prove that I was a monster worthy of her fear, but I had known she would only end up snug in my embrace. Safe in the protection of my arms.

This wasn't play, and I knew it. Every cell in my body knew it. I was to teach Bella how to defend herself. Which meant, to some extent, I would have to take on the role of her attacker.

I didn't like it.

Maybe I wouldn't have to take it that far. I could show Bella how to defend herself without actually sparring with her, couldn't I?

Well, yes, certainly I could. The real question was, would Bella let me get away that easy? I rather thought not.

Bella wanted me to teach her, not make some half-assed show of it. A promise only kept in name was as good as a lie.

"You learned how to fight from Jasper?" Bella asked as we ran. Our leisurely pace would still have us there faster than the first time in her decrepit truck.

"Yes. Well, you know Emmett. He's always been up for a friendly throw-down, even if he claims I have an unfair advantage. He loves a good challenge, and fighting with Jazz certainly provided that."

I shook my head in rueful admiration. If the Volturi were to fight us, Jasper alone could have turned the tide in our favor. And likely died in the offing. No wonder Alice had taken him.

But there wasn't going to be a fight anyway!

Therefore, this training with Bella was just blowing off steam. For her. A break from her inefficacious mental training with Kate. Giving her some other muscles to flex.

"Has he trained you before?" Bella asked. "Before Victoria, I mean."

"Mostly by kicking my butt until I learned how to defend it."

"Sounds good to me!"

I tried to return the grin Bella gave me, but something about mine felt off. She either didn't notice, or did a good job of pretending not to. She knew how reluctant I was.

And she also knew how ridiculous my hesitation truly was. Bella was a newborn vampire! I couldn't hurt her if I tried.

Would things be different if we were both humans? She'd already taken a self-defense course in her youth. If I'd been willing to teach her then, would her clumsiness have made her as reluctant to train with me as she had been to dance? If we both were humans, I'd still feel the same reluctance, I was sure, but only because Bella could have been injured so easily.

Now she was a vampire. She'd lost all her clumsiness, all her fragility. She was graceful and strong, fearless and utterly confident in her new body. I no longer doubted that Bella had been meant for this life, and she certainly delighted in living it. Bella's enthusiasm for all things vampire - minus the drinking human blood part - would forever amaze me.

I should embrace it as fully as she did. I took a deep breath and smiled at her again. This time it felt genuine.

"Well, you're such a natural at everything, I'm sure you'll be pinning me in no time."

For some reason, my compliment seemed to irritate her.

Oh. Right. There was something that hadn't come to her as easily as everything else.

"And," I continued as if I hadn't paused, "I have no doubt that you'll soon get your shield sorted out, too."

Bella huffed, but then we were bursting through the tree line, and into the slightly brighter open circle of our meadow.

The sun wasn't shining today, hiding its face behind Forks's usual cover of gray clouds. The multitude of wildflowers had long since gone to seed. Autumn had come to Persephone's spring, but wasn't that the natural order of things? Winter would follow, and then spring would come again, bringing life back to these seemingly lifeless plants.

Bella skipped to the center of our meadow and turned to face me. She crouched low to the ground, taking advantage of the scant cover provided by the scraggly plants as if I were a lion she stalked. The smile on her face would have stopped a man's beating heart from fear or desire or some kind of combination of the two. All I knew was that I was glad I didn't have to breathe.

But while the look in her eyes would have signaled death to a lion - or, were she a traditional vampire, any human lucky enough to be her meal - Felix would have found her stance laughable.

When I didn't move, Bella said, "I'll learn best by doing, right? Isn't that how you said Jasper taught you? So come on, bring it."

"You don't think we should go over a few basics first?"

"I thought you weren't going to hold back," Bella taunted.

"And I won't, but… Is that how you're planning on facing the Volturi?"

A look of chagrin crossed Bella's face as she straightened from her crouch. She shook her head and laughed - at herself, I thought.

Now I did go to her, and she didn't try to fend me off, still looking at the ground with a sheepish twist to her lips. I put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to me. When she met my eyes, her smile lost the tone of embarrassment, shifting to something a little more eager.

"Basics, right?"

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "The most basic of all. You are fighting for our daughter's life. Above all else, keep that one fundamental fact in mind, no matter who you face."

I flitted around to stand behind her so I could match my actions to my words. "Project self-confidence, whether you feel it or not. Keep your shoulders back and head up. Relax. We have no need to fear them, for we are innocent. This… is all simply a misunderstanding between friends."

Though I would have preferred to slip my arms around her, to go from speaking in her ear to kissing her throat, I returned to where I'd been standing. The distance between us was negligible, really. Less than there would be when we stood opposite the Volturi. Still plenty for our purposes.

She waited, watching me, a smirk playing about her mouth. She looked at ease now, alert and ready, weight shifted forward to the balls of her feet, apparently ready to either defend herself or shift to the offensive, as the situation dictated.

As I faced her, trying to figure out how to start, there was one glaring fact I couldn't banish: Felix had defeated me. One lone, unskilled member of the guard had defeated me. My telepathy, my years of learning from Jasper, the fact it was Bella I'd been fighting for - they had meant nothing when I'd gone up against him.

I knew Bella was strong, stronger than me, but she still looked so delicate, so small and precious. If the worst happened, if Alec and Jane held us all under their power, save for the one who couldn't be touched, Bella would go after the witch twins, and Felix would be there to meet her. I could picture it far too clearly. His hulking form and centuries of training against Bella, tiny and alone but endowed with newborn strength and a determination to save us all or die trying. It was too familiar. And this time, I wouldn't be able to swoop in and take her safely away.

"Okay," Bella prompted, "so what about when these friends of ours decide they don't want to play nice? What's next?"

Stalling, I said, "A vampire's head is the only meaningful target. Anything else can be easily reattached. Losing a limb might slow your opponent down, and it doesn't feel very good, but it won't stop them. Whenever Jasper, Emmett, and I fight, the only rules are: no dismemberment, and teeth to throat ends the match. That first rule is mostly for Esme's benefit, and pretty much gets forgotten when Jazz and Em really go at it, but you can't do much without your head. So don't lose it."

Bella rolled her eyes when I grinned at her. "Let me guess. Keep my cool, right? Don't get all emotional."

I laughed and nodded. That was certainly advice I could use right now.

"Alright, so, let's go."

I tried to forget that it was Bella I was facing. Tried to imagine that it was Emmett waiting on me to make the first move. He would do that sometimes, to try and get around my telepathy. It never really worked. I would still see the direction of his defense once I was in motion.

I shifted my weight one way and then the other, testing, just to see what Bella would do. It was different without the use of my gift. Weird. Analyzing the way she stood, anticipating based on minute body movements rather than thoughts, clearly I relied on my gift more than I'd realized.

Huh. Emmett was right.

Regardless, this wasn't going to get any easier by putting it off.

Bella was right-handed. It would be natural for her to favor that side. She was a newborn. Any opponent she faced would know it was important to avoid letting her get her arms around them. Immobilizing her arms and hands should be my priority. Then, I could go for her throat. She was holding her left hand a little low, and out too far. With my speed, I could have her head before she could bring that arm up. And the way her feet were positioned, it would be easy for me to…

Using only a fraction of my speed to give her enough time to react, I zipped across the meadow, captured her wrists, swept her legs out from under her, and landed atop her. Bella's smile stayed in place, though her eyes widened slightly when she impacted the ground. She must have seen me coming, but Bella had put up no defense at all. She'd simply stood in place, like a deer gone tharn, watching her doom coming for her.

In the single second I maintained my pose, I was acutely aware of how easy it would be to lean down and press my lips to her throat, or to sink my teeth in and rip it out, of her slim body and the way she was trapped beneath me, and of how utterly and appallingly wrong it was to have her there.

The next instant, I launched myself back across the meadow. Bella was already on her feet when I landed, giving me a look of expectation.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said, although I wasn't sure if I was apologizing for what I'd just done, or the fact that I couldn't do it again. Not ever. Not in play, and not in practice.

"No, I'm fine," Bella said immediately. "Let's go again."

"I can't," I admitted.

"What do you mean, you can't? We just started."

I could only stare at her in agony. I'd never done anything that felt more… more wrong. Not in my entire life. All the evils I'd done, and nothing compared with how that had felt. Attacking Bella went against all the laws of nature.

I was meant to protect Bella! To love and cherish her!

No matter that I could tell myself I wasn't truly attacking her. I was teaching her, training her, helping her. I knew that.

No matter that sparring with her thus was a good thing, something she wanted, something that could save her life. I knew that, too!

I didn't have it in me to play the role she needed. I had thought I could do anything, so long as it was for her. But this? No.

"Look," Bella said in a reasonable voice, "I know I'm no good at this, but I can't get better if you don't help me."

Of course she wasn't! How could she expect to be a skilled fighter on her first go?

Perhaps because everything else had come to her so easily she felt she should just know this, as if fighting skills were an innate vampire attribute akin to our hunting instincts.

Yes, I should have foreseen it. Of course she would have expected to just… know how to defend herself. Well, and why not? Hadn't that been the instinct that had saved those humans on her first hunt?

When I didn't respond, Bella eyed me speculatively, then threw herself at me. I could have avoided her easily. Her expression telegraphed her intention. I could have caught her midair, like she was a fleeing deer, bringing her throat to my mouth before she could regain her feet. I could have used her momentum against her, swinging her around and slamming her to the ground, where I could then fall upon her to finish her off. I could have caught her as a man might catch his beloved, to cradle her close and kiss her lips. I could have done any number of things, but all I did was allow her to crash into me.

Her velocity sent me flying backward. We fell together, and I did nothing to alter our landing, but it was simply momentum and gravity. Her hands were gentle where they held me. Not to immobilize me. Steadying herself.

Bella pressed her lips tenderly against my throat, just under my jaw, unerringly finding the place where I would have had a pulse, were I a human still.

She pulled back to grin at me. "I win."

Bella's eyes, dark amber, darker than they should have been if I'd been tending to her thirst as I ought, were dancing with mirth and satisfaction. There was something so carefree in her smile, such girlish delight, as if she'd spent the entirety of her human years wishing she could join me and Emmett in our wrestling matches, and now, having bested both of us, she was ready to proclaim herself the ultimate victor.

How much simpler life would be if I were more like Emmett. He would have been thrilled if Rosalie had come to him, looking to sharpen her combat skills. And then I would have been subjected to all the mental commentary on how making up was the best part of the fight. From both of them. Ugh. I was quite glad she usually made excuses about not wanting to mess up her hair, preferring the role of spectator over participant.

Bella's hair was perfect, spilling over her shoulders to curl in a soft puddle on my chest. I had a feeling she could have left our meadow with mud, twigs, and leaves matting her hair into some unrecognizable mess, and she would have been all the happier for it, for the visible evidence that I had done as she asked and trained her to fight. That I hadn't held back.

Even knowing this, knowing that I was disappointing her, that I was failing her, I couldn't.

Coward, I scoffed at myself. Bella was stronger than me in so many ways.

But it was intolerable! The very idea of launching myself at her again, of teaching her to fight me off, to defend herself from me. As if I hadn't spent the vast majority of our relationship trying to convince her to do exactly that.

Neither could I imagine teaching her to attack, trying to fend Bella off, trying to protect myself from her.

Absurd notion, really. Ridiculous concept.

A look of concern crossed Bella's face as I continued to stare mutely at her.

"Edward? What's wrong? Why won't you teach me?"

How could I explain to her the way that had felt?

Nothing I could teach her would be good enough against Felix. I could do without a demonstration of the many vulnerabilities he and the army he was part of would see and exploit. I was perfectly capable of imagining every one of the ways Bella could be killed without having to act them out.

"I just can't… bear it. Emmett and Rosalie know as much as I do. Tanya and Eleazar probably know more. Ask someone else."

Bella's mouth dropped open. She looked mad, like I'd offended her in some way, but I didn't see why that would be. I hadn't suggested she forego training altogether, just that she find someone better than me, someone capable of teaching her, since I could not.

"That's not fair! You're good at this. You helped Jasper before - you fought with him and all the others, too. Why not me? What did I do wrong?"

I blew out a frustrated breath. Why must she blame herself for my failures?

When she spoke of me being a good fighter, she couldn't mean here, today, when I'd done little more than make her embarrassed and angry. Her human memories must be coming into play again. How that was possible, I still didn't understand, but she'd referenced them often enough for me to know it was so.

She would remember me fighting against Jasper. I hadn't lost. She'd seen me kill Victoria. I was good. Sam had known it too. He'd considered me the biggest threat, and I was.

I wanted to be so much more than that.

The very worst parts of my nature, parts of me that were powerless now, had wanted to kill Bella. I had fought the monster within me as I had fought all the monsters that had come for her, and I had defeated them all. I had always fought for Bella, and I always would.

But I couldn't, I couldn't, stalk her now, revive that feeling of hunting Bella, making note of all her weaknesses, seeing her as prey. Everything within me rebelled against the idea.

"Looking at you that way," I tried to explain, "analyzing you as a target, seeing all the ways I can kill you - " I broke off. Just saying the words hurt. "It just makes it too real for me. We don't have so much time that it will really make a difference who your teacher is. Anyone can teach you the fundamentals."

Bella was silent, but she wasn't happy. I wondered what kind of arguments she was trying to come up with to convince me to do as she asked. She'd always been successful before. Try as I might, I never could deny her for long. This time was different. No argument existed that could make me fight against her. I'd gladly, proudly, fight with her by my side. The way we were supposed to be. Partners, not opponents.

I hated disappointing her, but it was better this way.

Everything was better now that we were more alike. Now that she was like me. I reached up and touched her lower lip, stroking it lightly, feeling its silky-smooth texture. It had been here, almost in this very spot, that I'd touched her lip for the first time. It had been softer than I'd expected. Firmer now, indestructible, it still gave with the lightest pressure of my fingertips.

I smiled. She was different now, but so much the same. The same strange combination of softness and strength that would forever fascinate me. When the Volturi left, and they would leave, I would have the rest of eternity to discover all her mysteries.

"Besides," I said with calm certainty, "it's unnecessary. The Volturi will stop. They will be made to understand."

"But if they don't! I need to learn this."

"Find another teacher," I repeated easily. I didn't mind the idea of her training, but my place was either at her side or behind her, cheering her on.

I sat up, shifting her to my lap, then stood in the same motion, cradling her against my chest. Bella was my bride, this was where she belonged, but she could run like the wind now, and I didn't think she would want to be carried home. The dirty look never wavered when I set her on her feet and held out my hand.

"Come, love. Let's go back home. I happen to know Emmett has been itching to thin the tree line. And don't forget, Eleazar was a member of the Volturi. He would gladly help you any way you ask."

"But you won't?"

"This is me helping. I'm guiding you toward the best teachers. And none of them are here." I said the last words flatly, hoping to end the subject with finality. The look in her eyes made me doubt I'd been successful. Stubborn as she was, Bella was sure to ask again.

Well, that was fine. My answer would not change.

She must have seen that arguing was futile and slid her hand into mine with a heavy sigh. Giving up, if only for the moment.

Emmett measured Bella's disgruntled pout when we returned to the house. "What's the matter, Bella? Sore loser?"

"It was a tie." I didn't feel too bad about my small lie. Technically, Bella had won. My mouth had never actually touched her throat. He didn't need to know that. "But I think she'd learn better from someone more capable than I am of presenting a worthy opponent."

"Ooo. Ready to take off the kid gloves, little sister? Think you're ready to throw down with the big boys, eh?"

"You better believe it," Bella growled, clearly still upset over my refusal. I hoped she'd work off a little of her ire with him, and in the process, maybe she would see why I wasn't willing to go as far as she would need in order for her to really learn.

Emmett had no such problem. He made a show of cracking his neck and his knuckles as he sauntered through the house to lead her back outside.

Could Bella believe I would be capable of flinging her into the trees like that? Or throwing her to the ground? Restraining her while she struggled - successfully - to escape? Could she imagine it was me she was throwing off? Freeing herself from my grip only to turn and retaliate?

I couldn't.

I'd rarely been as grateful to my brother as I was in this moment.

Esme joined me as I leaned against the porch railing to watch. She'd known where I had taken Bella, and why, and was unsurprised by our early return. I was aware of her eyes on me now, and patted her hand when she laid it on my arm, but I wasn't paying her much attention. She worried too much.

There was just something so… so… exhilarating, watching Bella twist in the air, cat-like, to land on her feet and immediately bound toward Emmett for another round. She might have killed the first tree he tossed her at. She'd flipped around to land with her feet against the trunk and then pushed off, using it as a springboard. Bella was more careful after that. Her gentle nature shining through, even with the trees.

He was quite in his element. It was good that I could read his mind, to read his pure joy in pitting himself against someone new. Oh, there was a certain amount of vengeful enjoyment. Given all the times she'd defeated him before, it was only to be expected. I didn't feel the same kind of unease watching them fight as when I'd stood across from her. Emmett wasn't even going for her throat, merely preventing her from reaching his.

Bella came for him again and again. One moment a still frame, frozen in time, a sudden blur of motion the next, only to be tossed away to the tune of Emmett's booming laughter and the delightful accompaniment of Bella's giggles.

It helped that she was having as much fun as he. I could see though, that Bella was taking this fun seriously. She never came for him exactly the same way twice. The frequency with which she was tossed at the trees diminished as she began dodging his reach, so she must have been learning from her mistakes.

"That was good, Bella," I called at one point. "You almost had him that time."

Perhaps I should have foreseen how I would distract her. I would have known how quick he would be to take advantage.

"Oops. Sorry!" I called again, trying not to laugh.

The commotion caught the attention of Renesmee, breaking through her absorption with Zafrina's pretty pictures. She zipped around the house to stare in amazement as Emmett flung Bella across the river. When his actions only resulted in a laughing Bella hurtling back at him, Nessie relaxed. She'd watched me wrestling with him; this was no different, except it was her mommy having fun now. Renesmee streaked up the porch stairs and into my arms, to sit with her back against my chest and cheer for her mother.

The others had followed us outside, and those who were outside already wandered over, drawn by the sound of Bella training just as Renesmee had been. They began calling tips and encouragement too. They didn't distract her. I guessed she had learned from that mistake as well.

I was aware that Jacob, like Esme, was eying me as I watched Bella take on my enormous brother. There was a grumble to his thoughts that seemed to be directed at Zafrina's exclusion of him. I had less attention to spare for him than I had my mother. Their concerns were a waste of energy. Renesmee was enjoying herself and so was Bella. What was there to worry over?

It wasn't too long before Tanya decided she wanted in on the fun. Kate had already spent days training with Bella's shield; Tanya reckoned it was her turn.

They were quickly joined by Rosalie, and as the days passed, Eleazar, Garrett, and even Zafrina offered to help Bella learn how to fight.

As I'd predicted, Bella didn't give up on convincing me to train her.

What was this obsession with learning from me over any of the others? It reminded me of the way she'd wanted me to be the one to change her. Me, not Carlisle. I found that I did like it, the knowledge that it was my venom that had changed her, my venom that flowed through her, my venom that had saved her. The selfish part of me would have preferred to monopolize her attention even now, especially now, to have her belong to me alone, no one else, but the more rational part of me was relieved to have so many others who were willing to do for her what I could not.

Maybe if it wasn't real, if there wasn't an army amassing whose sole purpose was to kill or capture us, if training Bella truly was like wrestling with my brothers - a game, played for fun - I would have been capable.

Bella was certainly capable. She was learning, and applying what she learned. I might not have such an easy time pinning her, were I ever to try again. I didn't want to fight with her though, not even in play. I much preferred this, walking beside her, holding her hand as we headed home, our sleeping daughter's head lolling on her shoulder, catching her glancing at me time and again from the corner of her eyes. I was sure I knew what was on her mind, but that look, that thrill that shot through me when our eyes met, it made me smile all the same.

"Garrett was a good teacher," Bella started.

"Was he?"

"Yup."

"That's nice."

Bella was silent for a few paces. Then, "I think Emmett's more interested in payback than teaching."

"Can you blame him?"

"Guess not," she said with a laugh.

"Well, whatever his intent, you're learning."

"Really? You think?" Her voice lilted up, curving along with her lips.

"Mmm, yes, I saw. You held Zafrina off for a whole ten seconds. I was impressed."

Now her look turned sour.

"Truly, I was. Do you know how much I could accomplish in ten seconds?"

"No," she shot quickly. "I don't. Because you won't fight with me."

"I won't fight against you," I corrected. "If… something awful should ever happen, it's good to know you'll have my back. Or I'll have yours. Whichever."

Bella heaved a sigh.

I was sure that wouldn't be the last of it, but we were at our cottage now, and for tonight at least, Bella had other things than fighting with which to concern herself.