Carlisle had brought me a deer to eat. I didn't want to hurt the poor thing. Its eyes were darting frantically back and forth and it was quivering with fear. Carlisle said that I would have to get used to seeing my food alive before I fed off of it, but I couldn't do it. I just tried to pet the deer and calm it.

After a day of sitting in a bed in the Cullens' house, I began to feel agitated. I had figured out early on that I had to be careful how I touched things. I could try to turn the TV on and snap the remote control in half. I tried to pet the deer who Carlisle said would stay in my room until I was hungry enough to feed off of it, and I ended up making its legs buckle underneath it.

I felt terrible. I didn't want to kill anything and I certainly didn't want to keep smashing up the Cullens' beautiful house. And I missed Edward. On my second day of consciousness after the excruciating pain of turning into a vampire, Alice came in and told me that she had found Edward.

Apparently I was in and out of consciousness for three days, changing into a vampire. On the second day, Carlise had told Charlie that I needed to stay with him, because I needed to be watched constantly, and he could offer that better at his own home than in the hospital. That was the day Alice had found Edward. She had been looking for him in the far reaches of the forests, but had eventually found him only about ten miles from my house.

She hesitated at this point in the story.

"Bella… Edward is…"

For the first time I grew concerned for Edward, as I realized that Alice would have said by now that he was just fine if he had been. Instead of wishing that he had chosen to stay with me rather than running away from me, as I had been, I began to just hope that he was okay.

"Alice." I looked her square in her beautiful face and continued, "Alice… please tell me. Is Edward okay?"

I only grew more frightened as Alice hesitated again and finally said, "Alice. You have to tell me what's wrong," I felt tears come to my eyes as I said, "you know you have to tell me. Please. Please tell me. Is Edward okay?"

I grew frantic. I grabbed Alice by the shoulders, and I thought I heard myself continue to plead with her. She flinched slightly and I let go hurriedly, embarrassed that I kept forgetting to keep my strength in check and feeling slightly nauseated by the idea of Edward possibly being hurt.

Alice looked at her feet and seemed to speak to them when she said, "Edward is… not exactly… he doesn't have some of his vampire senses any more."

I stared at her blankly.

"What?"