Chapter Eight
Cartoons Vs. Live Action
Bugs Bunny entered the Cartoon Network building. Suddenly, a camera spotted the rabbit. Alarms began going off and a sign flashed, "INTRUDER!" A female voice said over a loudspeaker, "Warning! Intruder alert. Warning! Intruder alert." A big, burly thug grabbed Bugs and tossed him out the door.
"Well, that didn't woik," Bugs said. "I'm now an intruder to da Crap-toon Network folks."
Wile E. Coyote got an idea. "Let me try," he said.
He got in past security. Wile E. was able to slink by the guards and up the stairs to the top floor. "No one ever uses the stairs anymore," he said to himself. He also noticed that there weren't any cartoon characters walking around the building anymore. Originally, until 2004, he regularly visited the office. Many 'toons were there, including classic Warner Bros. and Hanna-Barbera stars. Unfortunately in 2004, the WB and H-B 'toons were fired from Cartoon Network, except Scooby-Doo, and the only characters left walking around were current Cartoon Network stars. Now, it was eerily quiet. Only a few occasional office workers would walk by now and then, but they didn't seem to notice him.
The coyote knocked on the boss's private office doors. The boss's menacing voice said, "Come in." When Wile E. entered the room, the boss, still in the dark shadows, was shocked. "Not another Looney Tunes character. What do you want this time?"
"I speak for the cartoon characters, former cartoon characters and upcoming ones that appear on your network," Wile E. Coyote began. "We have noticed that you are starting to air live-action programming on your channel. This seems to be breaking your image, what with your 'all 'toons all the time' policy. Adult Swim's been airing 'Saved by the Bell,' and the regular part has been showing various live-action movies, including one from the Walt Disney Company, 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids.' Many people, including those that are regular fans of your network, have begun to complain and write angry letters."
"Yes. I know about the angry letters," the boss said.
Wile E. pointed over to the window. "Look out there, and you will see what I am talking about."
The boss faced the window. Indeed, a big crowd of people was protesting. Some of the crowd members were Cartoon Network stars! They were chanting, "Cartoon Network will not air cartoons!"
"I'll see what I can do. Now get out of here," the boss shouted. He tossed Wile E. Coyote out the window, which was still closed; making a loud crashing sound, and then the coyote fell in front of the protesters.
Bugs Bunny ran up to him. "What happened, doc?" he asked.
Wile E. explained, "Oh, you know that Cartoon Network boss."
Scooby-Doo walked up and said, "I can't believe rey won't air cartoons!"
"I'm glad you're joining forces with us," the coyote said, shaking Scooby's hand.
"Sorry, but I'm going to protest to Warner about my roo design!" He held up a picture. It had a crudely-drawn Scooby-Doo that an even cruder Shaggy was holding.
"Oh my!" Wile E. was speechless. "Good luck Scooby," he said, patting Scooby's shoulders.
"You too!" Scooby said, bounding away with the picture.
Daffy then chimed in, "I'm going to go over to Pixar now and give them a piece of my mind!"
Mandy from "Grim and Evil" walked up to Wile E. and asked, "Uh, why is Daffy going over to Pixar? Does he have a reason?"
The coyote sighed and said, "Yes. He's mad at Pixar for having their 'Finding Nemo' beat our 'Back in Action' movie at the Annie Awards."
" 'Finding Nemo?'" Mandy was surprised. "That's Pixar's crowning achievement!"
"I don't think so," Wile E. admitted. "It's too much like every other Pixar film. In my opinion, it ties with 'Monsters Inc.' for not being the best Pixar movie. The plot is basically the same as 'Toy Story,' plus it's like every other CGI animated movie about there, being about talking animals that go on adventures."
But Mandy countered, "YOU'RE a talking animal."
"That is true," Wile E. Coyote told Mandy, "but I am an anthropomorphic animal. The animal stars of those films, like 'Madagascar' and 'Finding Nemo' and 'Over The Hedge' and 'Ice Age' and, to a lesser extent, 'The Wild,' which I think is simply a plagiarized version of 'Madagascar,' those animals are more like regular ones, except they have human voices and their anthropomorphism level is very low. The anthropomorphic ones, like me and the rest of the Looney Tunes, stand on two legs, act human, and sometimes even wear clothes. But that doesn't mean I'm still not really an animal. Why else do you think I want to catch and eat the Road Runner all the time?"
"Oh." Mandy said. "But what about 'Hercules?' That beat the previous film, 'Space Jam' at the Annie Awards."
Wile E. began, "Well, Daffy tried to complain to the Walt Disney Company about that, but they wouldn't let him into Eisner's office. Plus, I don't really criticize 'Hercules' that much. It was directed by the two great modern-day Disney directors: John Musker and Ron Clements."
Billy ran up and said, "Ooh, the same directors of 'Aladdin' and 'The Little Mermaid' and 'The Great Mouse Detective?' And my favorite… 'TREASURE PLANET!'"
"You know, for a Warner Bros. cartoon star you know a lot about Disney," Mandy told Wile E.
The coyote explained, "I have begun researching about Disney. Chuck Jones revealed the secret to me before his death, that he and Carl Stalling were former Disney employees. I mostly specialize in the Disney Classics made before the late-90s. Anyways, back on the topic of Daffy's revenge. He feels 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action" was better work than 'Space Jam.' I agree, too, despite me being squashed by a crate, scorched by a missile, and blown up in a train wreck."
Mandy said, "Speaking of train wrecks, 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action" was a train wreck at the box-office, compared to the success of 'Space Jam.'"
"See?" Wile E. pointed out. "The CGI films are always making it big at box-office, while the traditionally-animated films flop! And people are now just using traditional animation as an excuse for poor storytelling! And I believe Daffy is going to get into BIG trouble at Pixar…"
