Chapter Nine
Daffy Vs. Pixar
DISCLAIMER: Everything Pixar is now currently owned by the Walt Disney Company, and so is Donald Duck.
Everyone at Pixar Animation Studios was celebrating. Their "Cars" movie was immediately Number One at box-office! A goofy-looking guy proclaimed, "WE ARE THE KING OF ANIMATION!"
A woman pulled him down and said, "Bobby, you are SUCH a dork."
At the boss's desk, a middle-aged man, who wasn't menacing-looking and in the shadows like the Cartoon Network boss, answered his intercom. "What is it?"
"We have a former cartoon star who looks enraged wanting to see you," the woman on the other side said.
Daffy entered the office, running in a rage. He jumped on the man and grabbed his shirt. "Your films are killing my popularity! The Pixar films are always number one at box-office, and the public will not watch anything that's hand-drawn animation anymore! They only prefer YOUR films, or DreamWorks or 20th Century Fox, or even that studio that made 'Valiant!'"
"What are you talking about? I don't really remember you," the guy said.
"Of COURSE you can't remember me," Daffy screamed. "I'm a CLASSIC TRADITIONAL-ANIMATED CARTOON STAR! They are becoming forgotten, like all the others! I am DAFFY DUCK!"
"THE Daffy Duck? What are you doing here at Pixar?"
"To complain about your popularity! You guys are practically the KINGS AND QUEENS of animation now!"
The man was confused. "Uh… does this have anything to do with one of our films eclipsing one of yours?"
"YES!" Daffy shouted angrily. "Your 'Finding Nemo' beat MY classic, 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action,' at all the animated film awards! Except for the Oscars, for which I wasn't nominated!"
"How could you say that about 'Finding Nemo?'" The man was a bit annoyed now.
Daffy yelled, "That movie SUCKED! It was just like every other Pixar movie! Here's what basically happens in most of them: A character gets separated and meets up with some other character, and most of the time a group tries to find the separated character, they come across trouble and meet new characters, they find him or her, big whoop!"
"Oh, no…" The Pixar boss was shocked. "This can't be happening!"
"And not only that," Daffy added, "like almost every other animated CGI movie, it features TALKING ANIMALS that go on adventures! Just like 'Ice Age' and 'Over the Hedge' and… ah, you know!"
The man then pointed out, "But YOU'RE a talking animal."
Daffy said, "True, but my scale in anthropomorphism is high while THEIR scale is… aaah, just look at the last chapter!"
"What chapter?"
"Forget it." Daffy told the man. "My point is, that stupid fish and his friends got more publicity than Bugs Bunny and I did!"
"I figured this would have traumatized you," the man said.
"It did." A voice came from the door. It was Wile E. Coyote.
The man was shocked. "What the f…"
"BOOP!" Daffy shouted, dubbing out the boss's swear.
Wile E. explained. "I knew Daffy was going to cause trouble at Pixar. It's a very sad story. It was at the Annie Awards in 2004. I watched it on TV. Daffy was there with Bugs, and so was Marlin and his friend that wouldn't shut up, the Brother Bear bears and moose, Sinbad, the Simpsons, the Fairly Oddparents and more. I could clearly hear Daffy muttering to himself, hoping he would get the Annie award for 'Outstanding Achievement in an Animated Feature Production,' which 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action' was nominated for. Unfortunately, when they announced 'Finding Nemo' had won, Bugs Bunny fainted. But Daffy went crazy! His eyes bugged out, his veins stuck out, and he was a total wreck! He was screaming hysterically as he ripped up his seat, tried to steal the Annie trophy, and he also tried to smash the fish tank with the 'Finding Nemo cast!' It was chaos!"
"They took me and temporarily shut me up in a prison for some time. Then they released me after a few weeks," Daffy told the guy at the desk.
"Plus," Wile E. added, "now that they removed his cartoons off of Boomerang, he vows revenge on 'Dexter's Laboratory' and the Cartoon Network people. He has also become an alcoholic ever since the Annie disaster. He still doesn't get it that alcohol isn't the answer to life's problems. Well, I suppose it's all right in small doses; I sometimes drink wine. But Daffy doesn't take it in small doses that much lately. Why I remember once I accidentally drank too much wine at a wrap party for 'Roger Rabbit,' I was so groggy I was staggering around, calling everything 'jolly good' and then I began ogling with Jessica Rabbit! Roger Rabbit tossed me in a dumpster after that. The same thing could happen to Daffy."
Daffy yelled, "PLEASE stop talking about me drinking! I can cut down like THAT!" He threw his bottle of alcoholic beverage into a garbage can." He then noticed a familiar face. "Say… isn't that Donald Duck over there?"
Donald then ran in and shouted in his squawky voice, "HEY! WAT'S DA BIG IDEEA?"
"Well look, if it isn't the hard-to-understand duck!"
But Donald countered, "Hard to understand? YOO have a LISP!"
"But at least MY voice is at a normal pitch," Daffy told his old rival. "YOUR voice is too squeaky!"
"Let's not start THAT again…" Donald was highly annoyed.
Daffy then prepared to open a bag. "I got a couple of pianos if you wanna…"
"NO PIANOS!" Donald screamed. "Gosh! Daffy's such a stupid stubborn…" He stormed off angrily.
"Well that sure showed him." Daffy was happy.
The coyote couldn't help but smile. "I must admit, your rivalry with Donald Duck is quite amusing."
"But now I have BIGGER rivals!" Daffy complained. "Pixar and Cartoon Network."
"YOU TWO!" The man behind the desk yelled. "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! AND DONALD DUCK, TOO!"
Daffy, Donald and Wile E. were both immediately kicked out of the Pixar studios. Then Lightning McQueen drove up and screeched to a stop next to the three 'toons.
"Whassamatta? You guys been kicked out of business?" The car laughed and zoomed away."
Daffy shouted back, "OH YEAH? I'M TRYING TO FIND A JOB, WILE E. RETIRED, DONALD IS STILL WORKING…"
"Give it a rest." Wile E. Coyote told Daffy.
"Say," Daffy thought out loud. "I wonder how it's going with the Cartoon Network protest."
