Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one

except…

Disclaimer: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

Rating: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

Pairings: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

Warning: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

Categories: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

I updated very quickly and the chapter is shorter, I know. But I'm going to London next weekend to visit my brother and I won't be able to write, so consider it a Halloween gift! I hope I will be able to keep up with the updates but my exams will come so quickly! sigh

Thanks for the reviews; they're keeping my old dark soul warm!

Yeah, and I must explain something: Harry & co will be starting their seventh year; Sirius is not dead because I like him, he's just hanging around Grimmauld Place, ya know… and Dumbledore is not dead because I want him to suffer.

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

Speech: Telepathy

Chapter 3: In the lion's den

"Welcome back, my dear students, and welcome to the first years that are to be sorted in a few minutes. I'd like also to introduce Mr Tom Kinney who will join us for his seventh year, He'll be sorted now." Dumbledore turned toward an annoyed Tom who'd rather liked to be sorted in private. He sat on the stool and put the hat on the top of his head, sulking.

GRYFFINDOR announced the old hat thirty seconds later.

Draco, Pansy, Ginny and Harry looked at him with eyes wide as saucers, as Tom settled himself between his lover and the red haired witch.

"Harry, love, stop gaping, you'll swallow flies." He snorted in amusement.

"What are YOU doing in Gryffindor?" Gasped Harry.

Well I really didn't want to spend every waking hour having minions worshipping me from breakfast to bedtime.

Oh, I thought it was your goal in life… replied Harry with a wicked grin.

Tom spared him with his best death glare and the Gryffindor table shivered, wondering what the fuck was going on. The tension eased when Harry softly chuckled and hugged his lover.

Then, Harry & co froze again, along with Tom this time but Ginny just sniggered. It was now obvious what she had spent weeks planning, highly likely with the help of the Twins.

Bellatrix Lestrange sat a chair between Snape and Dumbledore, long black hair flowing silkily on her shoulder, full red lips curved into a self satisfactory smile. She turned toward her Lord and raised her cup.

"Ginny… WHAT exactly is going on here?" growled Voldemort, a little annoyed.

"The twins set up the Glamour, even Mad-Eye couldn't see through that one. When she heard you were going to have fun at Hogwarts, she got jealous." Smirked the young witch.

Tom sighed but smiled none the less to his most faithful Death Eater. Well, after Harry that is, of course.

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Later, in the seventh year Gryffindor dorm.

"Ron, stop trying to hide behind your pillow, we're not gonna contaminate you or anything." Sighed Tom.

"Not that Seamus would mind." Added the raven haired wizard.

"Hey!" Said Seamus, though he was smiling broadly.

Ron merely squeaked and tried to hide better.

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"CRUCIO!"

Mrs Norris let out a horrible noise that sounded pretty much like a fire warning. Harry winced and cast a silencing spell.

"See? That's how you're supposed to do it." Explained Tom as he lifted the curse. Harry sighed and crucioed the cat once again, resulting in the same fire warning sound. The Dark Lord clapped.

"You got it! Congratulations, you're now officially a dark wizard!"

They had spend the evening in the chamber of secrets, snogging, mostly, and practising the Unforgivables. Harry was really becoming good at it, especially since he enjoyed so much the sight of a body jerking in pain. 'Well maybe Dobby didn't liked it much', thought the green eyed wizard as he eyed the rigid form of the house elf in a corner of the chamber, 'but he HAD been glad to help me with my homework…'

"Now, Tom, you DID tell me about a surprise…" Begun Harry. He was interrupted by Tom's hot lips bruising his own.

"I wanted to give you this…" And Tom got a small red box out of his pocket. Harry took it, and opened it. He stood there speechless for about a minute, eyes a bit wet.

"Tom… Is that what I think it is?"

Tom nodded and took the gold ring with the big black stone before sliding it on Harry's ring finger.

"That ring has been within my family for generations, it's the Peverell coat of arms. There are a lot of charms on it to protect you from legimilency, Veritaserum, Imperius, most curses and spells and also unfriendly magical creatures. I really want you to wear it. I love you."

A lot of fluff and smuttiness ensued but really, so sickenly fluffy! I won't even bother to describe it. Let's just assume Salazar's statue would have made a run for his life if only it could move.

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Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap sigh taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap sigh

If that Irish cunt doesn't stop tapping his pen against the desk, I think I'm gonna snap.

Harry looked at the Dark Lord at his side and quickly put his hand over the man's eyes.

Eyes, Tom. You might want to be careful there, love. You've chosen to come back to school, deal with its boredom and annoying brats.

How come you're not an annoying brat, Harry? Replied Voldemort, silently re-casting the brown glamour on his eyes. Hopefully, as they were in Binns' class, the only student not asleep was Hermione and she was too busy writing notes to notice a red eyed evil dark lord sitting across from her.

You crucioed me too much for me to be a brat anymore, Tom.

Oh… Tom had the decency to look at his hands in shame, I did, didn't I?

Yes, but don't you dare apologize!

Tom snorted, which caused several students to look oddly at him.

Wasn't going to, love.

Harry squeezed his lover's hand under the desk and gave a small smile.

I like it when you're all evil and insane…

Would you like me to crucio you again? Tom looked a bit startled but was still laughing lightly.

Nooo, but it looks soooo sexy when you cast it.

Oh, is that why you joined me in the first place? To have an orgasm each time I cast an Unforgivable?

I can't wait for the next Death Eater meeting! I'll have Lucius do a very stupid thing just for the occasion! Answered Harry gleefully.

Tom groaned and buried his head in his arm.

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"MY LOOOOOOOORD!"

As soon as Harry and Tom had stepped into Bellatrix's rooms, the lady had jumped into the black haired man's arms.

"Hey Bella… err… you do know that Harry could get jealous, don't you?"

Bella finally separated herself from Tom and smiled broadly at Harry before kissing him on both cheeks. (A/N: Not THOSE cheeks!)

"Sorry Honey but Tommy is suuuch a cutie!" she laughed brightly and then she giggled like a school girl.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Bella's been pampering me since I marked her. I think she always lacked having children of her own."

"OOOOOh, that was mean Hon!" Said the witch with a mocked hurt expression.

Then, she overenthusiastically proceeded to settle the two wizards in plush chairs with chocolate cakes and hot chocolate in large mugs in front of them.

"So, what do you think of Mommy Bella, love?" Asked Tom with a fake cheerful tone. Bellatrix smiled and kissed the top of Tom's head.

"You really needed a mother." Harry answered seriously, "Thank you Bellatrix." He added sincerely. Tom blushed and tried to hide behind his mug.

"Don't you need a mother too, dear?" Asked the lady, sitting on Harry's chair's arm.

"I had Mrs Weasley, before she turned out to be an utter bitch." Muttered the young wizard gloomily.

Bellatrix ruffled his hair fondly and threw the plate with the chocolate cake into his hands. "Eat." She ordered. Harry grinned and tucked in.

"HA! I'm not the only one you try to force-feed!" Cheered Tom, lips covered with chocolate cream.

"If you Dark Lords weren't so skinny, I wouldn't have to nag you about your poor eating habits!" She protested innocently.

Harry swallowed his cake and turned questioning eyes on the witch.

"What are you going to teach us this year, by the way?"

Bellatrix's eyes gleamed dangerously as the corner of her mouth twisted into a cold smirk, reminding Harry that she was indeed a Death Eater.

"Oh, I planned to teach you lots of pleasant useful things. I'm just gonna drop the 'defence against' part."

Tom shook his head. "You'll get fired within a month time."

Bellatrix smirk widened, showing sharp white teeth. "No no, the old fool okayed it."

"Albus agreed to let you teach us Dark Arts?" gasped Harry.

"Of course, he would want his little army to be quite operational by the end of the year to fight us, even if it means breaking a thousand ministry rules in the process." Tom realized.

"Aren't we glad his master plan relies on me… He won't tell me his silly little plans, he never has. But this time, if the last battle must take place, he'll have the shock of his life."

Harry smirked his best evil© smile.

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A/N: I love chocolate. Do you like my Bellatrix? I didn't plan that to happen at all but a plot bunny hit me…

Anyway, I think I'm gonna make it a Ginny/Pansy, if you have any objections, tell me before it's too late! Also, I don't know who I should put Draco with, which guy would be worthy of his sexiness? Big Problem… I really can't see him with Blaise… Theodore I don't know. Certainly not a Gryffindor and I don't want an original character, even if it's a name taken from canon. Ah, I'm so complicated! Help! stares for hours at DracoPlushie, hopping to get a sign

Reviews would be welcome!

Love and Kisses