A/N: Well, here's the promised ch3! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it lol:)
Chapter Three: Operation Prissy Princeling
It was late that night when Pippin stole into Merry's room. All of Rivendell was in bed, and the halls and corridors were finally quiet. The little hobbit was the only one up. He tiptoed over to his cousin's bed.
"Psst! Merry!" he whispered, "Are you awake? I am! Hey Merry! Wakey wake---!" Pippin was about to poke his cousin, when the older hobbit suddenly sat bolt upright, grinning like mad. Pippin jumped back with a small squeak of alarm. With the moonlight reflecting off his eyes and making his skin a horrible milky white, Merry looked just like some creepy ghost! "M-M-Merry! Is-is that you!" Pippin hugged his nightgown to his chest, quaking and ready to run away as fast as his little hobbit legs would go.
"Why wouldn't it be, Pip?" asked Merry curiously, and then, "And why wouldn't I be awake, you silly cousin!" He frowned, "Why do you look so scared? You look as if you'd seen a ghost…What's wrong, Pip?"
"Ghost! Where!" Pippin jumped the height of himself and looked about frantically, nearly tripping over the cord of his nightgown, which, was dragging on the floor, he had neglected to tie it yet again. "Oh, ahe, it's nothing, Merry…really." He blushed, embarrassed, "Lovely weather, eh?"
"Pip, you don't comment on the weather in the middle of the night unless it's storming! Are you sure you're alright, because we could always do this tomorrow night if you're not…"
"What! Are you crazy!" Pippin put his hands on his hips crossly, "I'm fine! Fit as a fiddle! Now you get out of bed, you lazy Brandybuck!"
"Yes," said Merry, "and you'd better stop making all that racket, because it could have, or maybe it has already woken somebody, in which case we will have to call the prank off for tonight, regardless of your current health."
"Sorry," Pip muttered, "But we really have to do it tonight…I've been dying to do it! I don't think anyone's awake, besides you and me, of course…" He strained his ears for any sounds that might mean that someone else was up and prowling the passages, but the only noises were their own breathing and the steady chirp of a cricket under Merry's bed. Somewhere, an owl hooted, sending little shivers up Pippin's spine.
"No; it's okay," reassured Merry, climbing out of bed and stifling a yawn.
"Well?" whispered Pippin, "Hurry up and get them! You have still got them, haven't you. You didn't ---?"
"No, Pip, I didn't, but I do admit they are pretty tempting. Takes a lot of self control not to!"
"Well, hurry up, I said!" Pip stamped his foot impatiently, silencing the cricket.
"Shh, Pip! Hold your horses! I can only move so fast!" Merry stepped into his slippers and pulled on his gown which had been hanging over the bedpost.
"Quick!" Pippin pestered, "You won't get frostbite from half an hour out of bed!" Merry glared at him.
"Cool it, little cousin!"
"Don't you---!"
"I'm doing it, okay?" Merry got down on his hands and knees and was about to lift his mattress, when he suddenly pounced on the floor. "Eureka! Got him!" He had something small and black held between his finger and thumb. The poor cricket was chirping in distress.
"Yay, Merry! You did get him!" Pippin clapped his hands.
"Shh, Pip!" said Merry in annoyance, padding over to the window, "Well obviously, or I wouldn't have said 'eureka'!" He tipped the cricket out and dusted off his hands, pulling a face. "My hand's wet…Pip, you don't think?" A horrified expression of realization slowly spread across Merry's face.
"Yes, Merry, I do. When animals get stressed, sometimes they do that."
"Oh, ew! Gross!" Merry wailed, washing his hands in the basin that stood in the corner, "I have been vandalized by a cricket!" Pip raised his eyebrows.
"I think 'vandalized' is a little exaggerated, Merry, now please, just get the stuff and let's do it!"
"Yuck!" Merry dried his hands, "Alright, fine." He went back to his bed. "Blasted cricket!" The hobbit lifted the mattress and pulled out two bottles containing a liquid that looked black in the moonlight. "Woohoo, Prissy Prince Legolas is going to love this stuff!" he said gleefully, "Kitchen special!" He handed them to Pippin. "Drop these and you're dead meat."
"Don't worry," said Pip, putting them carefully into his gown pocket, "They're safe with me! Let's go!"
"No; wait!" exclaimed Merry, just as they were about to go through the door. He scurried into a corner and came back with a stout walking stick that Pippin recognized as Bilbo's.
"What's that for, Merry," asked Pip, frowning. Merry grinned mischievously and swung it, making Pippin leap out of the way.
"Watch who you…hit…with…that…cane? Oh no, Merry, you wouldn't! You could injure him!"
"Just a little bonk, Pip, to knock him out. What if he wakes up, eh? Then it'll be us who get bonked. Actually more like skinned alive…literally"
"Oh, alright then. But why didn't we just drug him?"
"Well, for obvious reasons, Pip!" Merry snorted, "Firstly, we would have had to have gotten the stuff from either Strider or the Lord Elrond, and that would have looked mighty suspicious, not to mention difficult (there would have been all sorts of awkward questions), secondly, Legolas might well be resistant to a good sleeping draught, and thirdly, if he wasn't, we could have given him an overdose and killed him, so there!"
"Well, I see your point now. Let's go, stick and all!"
"Yeah!"
oXo
The two hobbits quickly found Legolas' chamber, as they had been sure to trail him after supper. Luckily, the door had been left ajar, and so, quiet as two hobbits in the dead of night, they snuck in, Pippin with his hand in his pocket, keeping the bottles safe, and Merry clutching the cane tightly in a rather sweaty hand.
oXo
Legolas was asleep upon a luxurious four poster, complete with soft feather pillows and duvets (No animals killed in the production – feathers collected from moulting ducks and geese!). The problem: he was too high up for Merry to bonk him. Pippin tapped his cousin on the shoulder.
"Merry," he whispered, "I can lift you up onto the bed!"
"Err, alright." Merry was a bit reluctant, as he didn't altogether trust Pippin's strength. He could think of no other alternative, however, so he'd just have to put his trust in Pippin, even if he was lacking slightly in brain cells, and more than a little foolish. He'd also have to risk waking Legolas by scrambling onto his bed. "Quick, Pip."
"I'll just give you a leg-up, right? Climb up, then, Merry. I won't drop you, if that's what you're worried about." Pippin held out his hands.
"No, no, I'm sure you won't." Merry scrambled up and balanced instead of climbing onto the bed, stick raised above his head and ready to knock the sleeping elf prince out cold. Unfortunately for Merry, Pippin didn't realize what he was trying to do, and as the hobbit was about to bring the cane down on Legolas' head, Pip suddenly boosted him up onto the bed.
"Hurry up, Merry! You're heavy – what did you eat for supper? A boulder! Oh…no!" Pippin gasped, for Merry had landed heavily right on Legolas' chest. The elf groaned, and both hobbits froze, but they relaxed when Legolas remained dead still, and they realized that Merry had managed to knock him out after all, and without the use of Bilbo's cane.
"Pippin, you idiot!" Merry hissed angrily as he pulled his cousin onto the bed.
"I'm sorry." Pippin hung his head. "Well, at least that's done! Now, for the Kitchen Special!" Pippin extracted the bottles from his gown pocket and held them up admiringly. "Oh, he is going to love these!" The hobbit giggled.
oXo
Quickly, the mischievous pair got to work. The job didn't take them long, but they left the room very satisfied indeed, and making sure to take all evidence of the crime out with them. They were not going to get caught!
oXo
"What do you think he's going to say when he wakes up, Merry?"
"I think that 'What do you think he's going to do?' is more appropriate, Pip!" Merry snorted as they made their way back to their rooms, snickering and congratulating themselves on a job well done.
"Do you think he'll be mad? What if he just laughs it off?"
"Well, he'd better do something that makes it worth our while, because I risked life and limb to get that stuff out of the kitchens. I was very nearly caught!"
"You were!" Pip couldn't believe that the one he considered as the master of sneaking, thieving and spying had nearly gotten himself caught.
"Err, no, I was only joking, Pip."
"Oh. So you're sure he'll do something amusing?"
"Pip...?"
"Yes, Merry?"
"Shut up, alright, because this whole thing was your idea! If it doesn't work, then it is holy and solely your fault, not mine, understand?"
"Yes, Merry," said Pip meekly. In the dark, he stuck his tongue out at his cousin.
oXo
Soon, they came to Merry's room, and Merry opened the door, which he had been sure to close in case somebody should be wondering the halls at night. That way, it would look like he was still in, and no one would be suspicious.
"'Night Pip." He slipped quietly in. Pippin remained standing outside, and as the door was about to click shut, he asked in a small voice,
"May I sleep in there…?"
"What do you mean, Pip?" Merry raised his eyebrows.
"Err, on the floor of course, with a blanket, but…um, I'm scared…What if Legolas wakes up a bit too soon and suspects me? He'll come in my room, and he may get violent, in fact I strongly suspect that he will get violent. Please, Merry?" Pip blinked his big green eyes, though of course Merry couldn't see him, "Pretty please? I won't be any trouble, promise!" Merry sighed.
"Oh, alright, Pip, but I'm warning you – if you talk, whisper, wiggle, wriggle, jiggle, giggle, laugh, hoot, snicker, snort, snore, sniff, sneeze, burp…or otherwise create a disturbance, then I will physically kick you out! Is that clear!"
"Yes, Merry," said Pip solemnly, and then he rushed into him and threw his arms around his cousin. "Oh thank you, Merry, thank you! You're the bestest!"
"Pip!" Merry pushed his cousin away.
"Yes, Merry?"
"Shut up and get in here quick!" Merry hissed, "I think I hear someone – no, two someones coming!" He grabbed Pippin by the collar of his nightgown and yanked him into the room, closing the door swiftly and silently, and they both scurried into a corner (just in case the someones should open the door – that way, they wouldn't see the hobbits) just as the elven twins, Elladan and Elrohir, came sneaking down the passage grinning and snickering to each other, on their way to raid the Rivendell kitchens.
oXo
"I think there are spare pillows and blankets in that closet," said Merry, emerging from his corner and pointing. Pippin came out of hiding too and shuffled over to it, yawning and suddenly feeling very sleepy. He handed Merry the empty bottles on the way. Merry shoved them back under the bed and propped the cane up in a corner. He'd have to return it to Bilbo with some excuse 'Oh, hi Bilbo, I picked this up by mistake…I thought it was mine…' Something like that.
oXo
Pippin opened the closet and squeaked in alarm as he was smothered by a rain of bedding.
"Pippin!" Merry groaned and went to disentangle his cousin from a feather duvet.
"Thanks, Merry!" Pippin got up, dusted himself off, and tripped over a pillow. "Ouch!" he exclaimed, "Am I imagining it, or are these things bent on killing innocent hobbits like myself!"
"Pip, inanimate objects such as bedding cannot posses a desire to kill! And you are definitely not innocent! One thing you are though is clumsy, now stand up, carefully, mind, take some duvets and however many pillows you need, and set your bed on the floor somewhere."
"May I make a tent?"
"No, Pip, you may not make a blanket tent! You've made more than enough mess already!"
"Just thought I'd ask…" Pippin gathered up three duvets and a pillow stumbled over to a clear patch of floor, peering over his mountain of bedding. He laid the two duvets down to form a mattress, and put the remaining one on top of that. Finally, he plumped up the pillow and dropped it at the head of his improvised bed. "Good night, Merry!" He took off his nightgown and slippers and got in to find that it was surprisingly comfy for what it was – a couple of duvets on the floor with another duvet for the blanket and a pillow. He stretched out and gave a big, contented sigh.
"Goodnight, Pip." Merry got into his own bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.
"Goodnight, Merry."
"Pip, you already said goodnight, now go to sleep."
"Aren't you glad the cricket's gone?" Pippin giggled.
"Pip, go to sleep before I kick you out! Remember your promise?"
"What promise?"
"Not be trouble!"
"Oh yeah, right, hehe."
"Well, goodnight then."
"You also already said goodnight, Merry."
"Pip, shut up already!"
"Okay, Merry." Pip was quiet for a few minutes, and Merry was just daring to believe that he was asleep, when their was a little voice in the dark.
"Merry?"
"No, Pippin! Not now!"
"I got a mosquito!"
"Well, pull your duvet over your head and forget about the damn thing! One more noise and you're out, now go to sleep, dammit!"
"Okay, Merry." Pippin pulled the duvet right up until only his nose was sticking out, and he soon dropped off. Merry had just about fallen asleep too, when he heard a faint sound. A whining, buzzing sound…
"Bloody mosquito!"
TBC
A/N: Wheee:) What did you guys think! I laughed and laughed while reading this to my younger sister, and ifd I found it funny, I'm sure you all loved it more, right? There was some good old fluff at the end. I love fluff lol :) It's sooo cute! When you review, you could try having a guess at what the hobbits did to poor Leggy's hair, and what it was that they used. Hint: It was from the kitchens. It was NOT food colouring lol:) Well, I haven't even written ch4 yet, but provided I have by next weekend, that's when it'll be coming in. See you then!
Windsong of Darkness
