A/N: HOLA! Here's chapter 16, I must say, I'm actually kind of proud of this chapter, it kinda looks like filler and that I might've just thrown this in for the heck of it, but it isn't, so yah. thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed! LOVE YOU ALL!
Tanner was sitting on his bed in his hotel room, thinking about the last two days. Things had gone from completely normal to insanely sick. He felt his insides churn at the thought of how Jess had been feeling, everything she had gone through. Tanner felt immense guilt towards what had happened. But deep down, he knew he wasn't the one to help her, at least not yet. Tanner grabbed his bags and walked towards the door. He knew right now he needed to give her space, as much as it pained him to let her be without him, especially right now, when she was so vulnerable, he knew there wouldn't be anything for him to do. And with those thoughts in mind, he walked out the door and checked out of the hotel, leaving Manhattan and going back to Toronto.
A month has passed, and Jess was starting her healing process. She had just started seeing a therapist once a week, and had started her album. She wasn't anywhere close to better yet, but she was showing progress. Every so often she would have her outbursts, her breakdowns, and then her wall would come up again. No one had heard from Tanner, except for Tommy who had received an email from him, explaining his disappearance and his reasons for leaving.
Jess was sitting in one of the many studios of Q Records, mixing one of her songs and making little notes on post its when she heard something she wanted to change. Tommy was watching her through the glass as he went back to monitoring everything that was going on. Jude walked in with Jamie who was holding two bags of Panda Express.
"This little boy here has been crying for his Daddy," Jude said as she gave Tommy a kiss on the cheek and handed Derek to Tommy.
"Has he now? Have you been giving your Mommy a hard time, kiddo?" Tommy cooed to Derek who just clapped his hands together and made little spit bubbles.
"Where's Jess?" Jude asked, Tommy nodded towards the studio and Jude shrugged her shoulders and walked towards the studio. She could hear the music playing and was nodding her head with it, agreeing with some of the choices.
"I've been having
trouble
with keeping up this
smile
I've been having
trouble
Hurtin for quite a
while..." (Broken by Cassie Steele)
Jude walked in and grabbed the extra pair of headphones that were on the soundboard. She listened, liked, and then took the headphones off and tapped Jess's shoulder. Jess jumped at first and then took off her headphones, an edge in her eyes, but it quickly faded when she saw Jude there.
"Oh, hey Mom, what's up?" Jess said pausing the song and letting the headphones rest on her shoulders.
"That would be the lovely hour called Lunch. Come out and eat, you've been working in here since 7 this morning and it's now one," Jude said with her arms folded.
"I'll just grab my usual. One box sweet and sour pork, one box chow mein, then I'm back in here and working my butt off. I want to get this song down by today," Jess answered.
"As long as your studio isolation is for a good cause then I'm ok with that," Jude added as she lightly pushed her daughter out of the studio and into hospitality where her usual boxes of food were already waiting for her.
The rest of the day went by without any problems, for the past week the days had been like this. Jess would see her therapist Monday mornings for one hour, head to the studio, record, eat at noon, record again, eat at dinner, record, and then head home. Jude watched her daughter's habits and only felt a pang in her heart. Jess was doing fine, just as Jude had, but the only problem was that she never thought Jess would have to go through something so much worse. It took Jude two years to get over her assault, how long would it take for something this horrible?
Jude was sitting in bed that night, waiting for Tommy to join her so she could sleep at ease. Tommy entered the room in his usual bed attire, boxers and a white tee shirt. Just before Tommy had turned off the lights, he had something to tell Jude.
"David just called," Tommy said bluntly.
"Really? What for?" Jude asked her eyebrow furrowing in concern.
"Just to remind us that the premiere is this Friday, which I found rather pointless but-"
"I know babe, so much speculation has been going on with the movie, it's pretty hard to forget when the date is," Jude said wrapping herself up in the covers.
"Are you going to be ok? You know, with the scene that's going to be shown and all," Tommy said hoping that Jude would return a positive answer.
"Yeah, I think so. I'm more worried about Jess though. Seeing something that's even just the smallest bit similar to what happened only a month ago," Jude explained.
"I know what you mean, but she's been doing good so far, I'm just hoping she doesn't go back into bad habits. The locked up in her room, barely eating, constant mood swings, I don't want to see her like that again," Tommy added.
"We can't expect her to be perfectly ok right now, she's still fragile when it comes down to it, she's barely said anything about it. We only know she's ready to heal because she came to us wanting to go see a therapist," Jude reminded him, wrapping the blanket around herself even tighter.
"You look like a burrito," Tommy remarked randomly.
"How do we go from our daughter's emotional stability to my resemblance to a burrito?" Jude questioned, her eyebrow quirked.
"Just a random thought. But I know what you're saying about Jess. Like you had said before, we just gotta keep hoping for the best when it comes to this. She needs us to make her feel like there is nothing wrong with her, that she's a human being. She needs to know that she's still the same old Jess that I first met two and a half years ago-"
"Same old Jess that I had raised. Good night babe," Jude said kissing Tommy softly.
"Good night," Tommy said as the two closed their eyes and went to sleep.
It was the night of the movie premiere, and Jude was signing a couple autographs and taking a few pictures with Tommy. The two smiled sweetly to the cameras, answered a couple questions and then continued down the red carpet. When they had finally reached the building, Jude leaned in towards Tommy to let him know where she was going and that she'd meet him back inside the theatre. Jude took a right turn down a long corridor and went inside a door. When she washed her hands and started to wipe them, her attacker stood behind her, Jude saw his reflection in the mirror.
"Oh my-"
"You say another word, and I'll slit your throat. Got that Miss Harrison?" His voice was so chilling, Jude felt a shiver down her spine.
Her attacker held an extravagantly shaped knife to her throat, and had already begun to duct tape her mouth shut. Now that Jude couldn't make a sound at all, she saw this as her chance to fight back.
"You better not be thinking any violent thoughts Miss Harrison...or your twin over there will get it twice as bad as you are about to," Jude's eyes scanned the room and saw Jess tied up and Ethan standing behind her with a gun against her head. "Like father like son, am I right? I have to say though. My son posseses a lot more skill than I, he did manage to get inside your daughter, something you never gave me the chance to do,"
Jude felt tears stinging her eyes at the sight of her daughter being harmed in anyway, just because of an assault she had many years before.
"Now, how about you let Daddy have a little taste..." Jude immediately was slammed against the wall as her attacker started to feel about her. Jude managed to stifle her cries as she watched her daughter's pained expression mirror her own.
"Mmm, mmmmmmm..." Jude started to painfully cry in her sleep.
"Just like last time baby, you won't feel a thing..." Her attacker stuck a needle in her arm, causing her sense of touch to numb, and she couldn't feel a thing, neither could she move. The attacker let go of Jude and had let her fall to the ground, and stradled her. "Sorry, but I can't say you won't be watching your daughter become even more so traumatized,"
Jude's crying and painful moans started to become louder, until Tommy had finally woken up.
"Jude? Jude? It's only a dream baby, wake up," Tommy said trying to wake Jude, but she wasn't awaking.
"Time to do what I should have done twenty years ago," Her attacker pulled the same knife out of his back pocket and waved it slowly in front of Jude's eyes. Her eyes had widened and filled with panic.
Jess was starting to cry at the sight she was seeing, but every sound she had made, only caused more pain into her arms as Ethan tightened the ropes.
"Make you breathe your last breath," The knife went plunging into Jude's lungs with such force that-
Jude inhaled a deep breath, and then stopped breathing. Tommy started to panic as he grabbed Jude by her shoulders and started to rapidly shake her. Jude was still not waking up, and Tommy had only started to shake her harder, patting her as lightly as possible to only wake her and not hurt her.
"Jude, baby, please wake up. C'mon baby, wake up for me please," Tommy said starting to lose his control over the situation.
Jude stopped breathing, and her blood began to seep through her dress. Jess started to cry even more and Ethan had slapped her with his gun across her head and threw her to the ground. The attacker threw the knife to Ethan with a sadistic smile across his face, saying "Have fun son,"
"All you had to do, was be with me forever Jess," Ethan said dragging the tip of the blade across the smooth material of Jess's dress. "All you had to do was love me," Ethan raised the blade right above Jess's heart, letting the tip rest right on top. "Sorry babe, you lost your chance,"
"Jude! Wake up! JUST WAKE UP!" Tommy shouted shaking Jude even more, and then holding her close to his body.
Jude's eyes shot open and she started to breathe again...
Just started to cough and regain conciousness. As soon as her eyes opened and they fell upon Tommy's worried piercing blues, the tears started to fall down her face and she began to sob into Tommy's chest.
"It's ok baby, it was just a nightmare. Just another nightmare, this will all be over soon, ok baby? I promise, I won't let him hurt you, not again," Tommy said softly into Jude's ear, kissing her cheek tenderly, trying to comfort her.
"Ethan's his son..."
"What?" Tommy said, taken aback by what Jude had said.
"In the dream," Jude was trying to catch her breath, "Ethan had Jess, and...and...and my attacker said 'Like father like son',"
"Baby, it was just a dream. The two have nothing to do with each other, ok?" Tommy said hoping to calm her down.
"God, it was just so real. I felt the knife, the needle, everything, I can't sleep after a dream like that Tom, I can't. I just can't," Jude said breaking down into sobs again.
"Ok, ok, let's go into the kitchen together, we'll get some tea. And we'll both just, stay together ok?" Tommy offered, Jude nodded. Tommy took Jude's hand, and handed her his favorite sweater, and the two walked into the kitchen.
Jess was looking up at her ceiling, she heard the whole thing when her father had woken up.
Another dream...
Jess sat up in bed and walked towards the window, looking out at the nearly black sky. Her mother was having the dreams again, the ones where she couldn't breathe for almost a full minute at times. Those dreams scared everything there was in Jess right out of her. There were several times where Jess was the one having to wake Jude up, only to embrace her fear stricken mother. Now that Jess was filled in on the full story, she understood the dreams. What they could hold, what they could cause, and just how much and why they affected her mother so deeply.
Am I going to get dreams like that? Where I can't breathe?
Jess shook her head of these thoughts, and decided that for once, in a good long while, tea sounded good to her nerves. Jess walked down the hall and into the kitchen, where she saw her mother holding herself, and resting her cup of tea on top of her knee. Tommy was putting lemon and honey in his and Jess leaned against the wall, watching them both.
"Couldn't sleep?" Jude asked, trying to hide her on edge nerves.
"I heard everything. Some creepy dream..." Jess said, letting her sentence be unfinished. Jude sighed and then took another sip of her tea.
"But that's all it was, just a dream," Tommy said sitting down with his cup of tea.
"Yeah...just a dream..." Jess said, her eyes giving away the fact that her mind was elsewhere.
The next morning, Jess slammed her hand down on her alarm clock as she flipped herself from on top of her stomach to on her back. She could see the stormy clouds through her window, and she just closed her eyes for a bit and then exhaled. Flashes of what happened that night a month ago came spiraling at her.
Stop...it's real...but it's over. Stop haunting me...
Jess repeated this in her mind over and over again until she felt she had a temporary handle on the situation. Jude and Tommy were already up and eating breakfast by the time Jess came into the kitchen. She had her guitar in its case and leaned it on the wall, her hair was straight and down.
"Good morning," she said as she grabbed a bagel and some cream cheese. Just as Jess was pulling open the drawer to get a butter knife, Tommy accidentally bumped into her. "STOP!"
Tommy froze, as did Jude, and for a moment it seemed like the air from the room had been sucked dry and Jess finally managed to relieve herself and exhaled, setting down the butter knife carefully with a shaky hand.
"I'm sorry sweetie, you ok?" Tommy asked looking at Jess with concerned eyes.
"I just. I-I need some air," Jess said putting everything down as she ran to the back yard and closed the door behind her.
"I should-"
"No, Jude. It's my turn," Tommy said putting his coffee down as he walked to the sliding door and went outside cautiously.
Jess was sitting on the patio swing, hugging her knees as she swung back and forth. Tommy took a seat next to her, making sure he was giving her the space she needed. Jess just sighed again and looked up at the sky, the clouds were starting to move fast already.
"Jess, I can't say I know what you're going through, and I can't say I understand. But I don't want it to be like this always. You're my daughter, I love you, I want you to know that I would never do anything that will hurt you. I would never even dream of hurting you," Tommy said as Jess looked up at him with tears in her eyes.
"I know, that's what makes me feel so bad," Jess said as the tears started to fall, "I know you would never hurt me, that's why I hate myself for cowering at your touch,"
"It's going to take time for me to be able to give you at least a hug, huh?" Tommy said giving his daughter an encouraging and warm grin.
"I really wish it didn't. I feel so alone right now, I don't feel like I'm Jess anymore. I feel like I've been robbed," Jess cried as more tears fell.
"I'm so sorry sweetie. I think the best thing to do, is to just try and get back into the swing of things. Write the music you love, do the things that make you happy, be around the people who know you best," Tommy said sincerely.
Jess nodded, and then looked at her dad, "Thanks Dad, I really-"
"I know, you're my baby girl," Tommy said, nodding and then standing up from the patio swing. "We better get going,"
Jess nodded and got up from where she was sitting, taking one last look at the clouds, and then following her father back inside.
