Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one

except…

Disclaimer: If I wanted to make profit out of this crap, I'd try to sell it to an editor. I am not. I'm posting it for free on the internet. Soooo, please don't sue me!

Thanks a lot Ô my beloved reviewers! May the Dark Lord bless you all!

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

Speech: Telepathy

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Chapter 7: Use the Force Lucius

Lucius looked down at the ground. Damn the tower was really high. He felt his knees go weak and gave a small whimper. His sweaty hands grabbed the nearest stone and very carefully, he stepped down the edge of the tower. With a sigh, he climbed down the stairs. A drink, the blond wizard thought, a drink was urgently needed.

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Meanwhile, in Dumbledore office…

"Tom? What the hell is happening?" asked a very annoyed headmaster. So annoyed in fact, that he was stomping his foot.

Tom was so impressed by the fact that the old coot of a wizard could be annoyed to the point of stomping his foot that he stared at the aforementioned foot, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

Now, Dumbledore was more than annoyed, he was embarrassed. He contemplated his different options: fight Voldemort, kill Voldemort, ask for explanation in an authoritative tone of voice, tell Voldemort off for messing up his office. But finally he settled for the most logical thing to do.

"Would you like a sherbet lemon?" He asked.

Tom stared some more and wondered what he should do: fight Dumbledore, kill Dumbledore, do the patented evil laugh, grab Severus and go. But finally he settled for the most logical thing to do.

"Why, yes thank you." And thus, Tom and Albus began eating the sherbet lemons reminiscing of the old times.

Harry was beginning to worry. Tom didn't come back. Really, it was worrisome. I wouldn't exaggerate by saying that Harry was indeed very deeply worried. In fact, worry was now troubling Harry in a very worrying way. And by that, I mean that Harry was worried.

Therefore, naturally, Harry decided to check on his lover. He tiptoed up the stairs and pushed the door of Dumbledore's office open. Then, his mouth went dry, his mind went blank. To be honest, he nearly fainted. But he didn't. Because the scene in front of his eyes was to incredibly unbelievable to miss one second of it. Severus was unconscious on the floor, lying there like an old carpet you should throw away but just can't find the time to do so; some ghostly drool was coming out from his mouth.

The Dark Lord and the Headmaster were calmly sipping at their tea, chatting like old friends. They were old, so that didn't particularly shocked Harry. What was very surprising is that they weren't friends, not at all. When his mouth began to work again, Harry decided to ask them to clarify this particular point.

"Err… What in the fuck of god are you doing?"

Then, he glared at Dumbledore. The old wizard scratched his beard. Harry looked pleadingly at his lover. Tom looked at his cup of tea and frowned.

"HA!" he said.

"HA!" he said again.

"HA HA!" he concluded.

As the ambient confusion was thick enough for Fawkes to ski on it, Voldie explained his discovery. This wasn't really REALLY a discovery, because everybody knows it anyway.

"Dumbledore, you old coot, you've drugged the sherbet lemons!" He bellowed red with indignation. Then, realization dawned on him and he fainted.

Dumbledore gave Harry the thumbs up and whispered:

"Well, what are you waiting for? Finish him off!"

OH SHIT!

Tom? Tom, wake up! TOOOOM!

But Tom didn't wake up. Shit.

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Lucius sighed. Vodka was good. Sex with Bella was alright, especially since she was a woman but her optimism made his sicker than ever. Life sucks. It sucks a lot. Like Severus… Oh no, bad BAD BAD thoughts! Maybe he should give himself up to the Order? YES! He was gonna surrender! And spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, romantically brooding in a dark damp cell, hearing the roar of the ocean and remembering the treason of his lover, suffering like the heroes of those muggle books he had read.

That's how Lucius came across a joyful Dumbledore, a fainted Dark Lord and a Harry Potter at the edge of a heart attack.

Severus Snape, completely out of it because of the curse shot at him, chose fortunately this moment to shoot at the top of his lungs:

"USE THE FORCE LUCIUS!"

And he passed out again.

Bravery and sense of duty overcame Lucius' mind. Sevi was alive! ALIVE! He grabbed Fawkes, who was still skiing on the ambient confusion, and knocked Dumbledore down with it. Surprised, the bird burst into flames, setting fire to the Headmaster's ridiculous robes.

Harry, Lucius and Tom, who had woken up when he'd smelled the delicious smell of roasted chicken, contemplated, completely stunned, the combustion of the Light Leader.

Bella burst suddenly in the office. She gasped, she smiled then she danced around the room making funny noises. When she stopped, she threw her fists up and yelled:

"LETS PARTY!"

A/N: very short chapter… I apologize, but you know, right now, my parents are in the next room, checking every now and then if I'm studying… which I am not, obviously. So as soon as summer holydays begin, I promise you a longer chapter!

See you all!