See, I told you it would be continued ;)
Chapter Seven: Damned Floor!
Aragorn stretched, yawning loudly. It was the start of a perfect day! Well, so what if it was raining? Rain made things all shiny and new, and it made all the plants grow. The Ranger jumped out of bed and dressed. As he pulled on his boots, there was an odd 'squelch' and a bit of a wet feeling, through his socks, but he dismissed it. He and Arwen had been dancing in the rain yesterday, so wet boots were not to be unexpected. They'd dry. Anyway, why wait for the boots to dry – why shouldn't they just go do it again after breakfast! Aragorn grinned to himself and set off across the richly carpeted floor towards the door. Leaving the room and closing the door behind him, the Ranger started to have problems. There were no more carpets now, only smooth, polished wood, and it appeared that his boots were no longer compatible with this floor type. The moment he took a step, his legs splayed, and he slipped onto the floor. Luckily he was so supple, else it would have hurt. Aragorn hastily pulled himself up again, frowning. He hoped that no-one had seen. The Ranger was scarcely on his feet for five seconds before he crashed to the floor again, this time landing flat on his face. It must be the floor. His boots had been perfect yesterday. Yes, that must be it – the floor must have just been polished. It did look a little shinier than usual on the spot where he had fallen… With a grunt, the Ranger pulled himself up against the doorknob, hanging on for dear life. Then, he slowly released it, and, step by step, began slowly to make his way across the floor.
oXo
"Hiya, Strider! Whattaya doin'?"
"Huh! WHOAH!" Aragorn turned to look at Pippin and fell flat on his face. Pippin giggled.
"I thought you guys were supposed to have elven balance and stuff?"
"Yeah," Aragorn huffed, picking himself up on hands and knees, "We do…" Pip cocked an eyebrow.
"What'ya doin'?" he asked again.
"Trying to navigate this damned floor!" Aragorn growled, "Some bloody fool went and polished it!"
"Oh," said Pippin innocently, looking down at the fallen Ranger, "Well, I'll be careful then. Seems floor polish is more dangerous than I thought. See you at breakfast. I'll save some pancakes for you. Bye!" And the hobbit ran down the corridor quite easily. Aragorn didn't see the grin that was slowly spreading across the young prankster's face. Still, he did not get suspicious nor think to check his boots. He supposed that Pippin, being small, and with large feet, probably had better weight distribution over the slippery floor.
oXo
Soon, to his dismay, the Ranger discovered that he was unable to get up – there was nothing in reach for him to pull himself upright with. Damned floor! He'd have to crawl! Sooo embarrassing! The Ranger set off across the floor on hands and knees. Funny thing was, he wasn't slipping at all now, and the floor didn't feel slippery beneath his hands. Oh well, so much the better.
"What are you doing, meleth nin?" It was Arwen, the love of Aragorn's life. The Ranger blushed a deep crimson and turned around slowly. The she-elf was standing in the passage, eyebrows raised, and seemed to have no trouble keeping her balance. Maybe it was just elves though. "What is going on, Estel?" she inquired curiously.
"It's this damned floor!" Aragorn exploded, "It's been polished and now for the life of me I cannot keep my balance!" Arwen's eyebrows went higher.
"To the best of my knowledge, the last time the floor was polished was last week, so I do not know why you are having trouble. Might I suggest checking your boots?"
"My boots? Why?"
"Sometimes you are not the brightest Ranger, Estel. I think that you may be the victim of a prank, a practical joke." Aragorn frowned. "Well, why don't you check those boots then?"
"All right." Examining the undersides of his boots, Aragorn found them to be coated in a greasy substance, its smell reminiscent of butter, lard and floor polish all mixed together. So that was why he had been slipping! Arwen raised her eyebrows again, amused despite herself.
"Who do you think could have done this to you?" Arwen asked, trying to suppress a giggle. It didn't take Aragorn long to put two and two together. Arwen had insulted Pippin, it was a 'boring' rainy day, and now this! No wonder the hobbit had seemed so innocent when they had met in the passage.
"Peregrin Took," he said with finality, and as an afterthought, "And Meriadoc Brandybuck – he couldn't have done it alone – to much thinking and planning involved."
"Oh," said Arwen, voice taking on a different tone, "you mean that Halfling who so rudely interrupted us when we were - !"
"Yeah, that's the one." Aragorn made it to the bathroom, where he cleaned off Pippin's greasy mixture. He failed to notice a number of small holes in the sole of each boot. The Ranger strode confidently out of the bathroom, and he and Arwen made their way down to breakfast.
oXo
Aragorn reached for a strawberry muffin, but he didn't get his hands on it, instead slipping and falling, knocking Arwen backwards and landing in her lap, both lovers giving a surprised yelp. At the big table, Elrohir, sniggered. Aragorn flushed and scrambled to his feet, pulling Arwen up with him, but was quickly flat on his back, winded. Arwen managed to make an undignified leap out of the way.
"Uhhh…"
"Estel!" The Lord Elrond hurried towards his adopted son, his face creased with worry, "Are you ill!" Gasping for breath, Aragorn shook his head.
"Boots! Pranked!"
"Well then take them off and we shall seek out the culprit!"
"Pippin Took and…Merry Brandybuck!" At table, Pip opened his mouth to gasp, but Merry elbowed him in the ribs.
"He can't prove it!"
"Well, let's get this boot off…" Elrond took hold of it and yanked, intending to pull it off. Easier said than done. Aragorn gave a yell.
"OW OW OW! Stop! It's stuck to my skin! STOP! OW!" Elrond released the boot, for what Aragorn said was indeed true. If Elrond didn't know better he'd say it had been glued.
"Let's try the other one…" Elrond pulled, but with the same result.
"It's no use," said Aragorn gloomily, "It's stuck."
"Well, it does appear to be." People began to gather round, suddenly finding Aragorn's predicament a lot more interesting than their breakfasts. Legolas sniggered. His hair was now back to its pale blonde.
"It's glued," said Aragorn dismally, "– when I put my boots on this morning they were all wet inside, but they dried very quickly, too quickly, come to think of it."
"Not to worry," said Elrond cheerfully, helping him up and hanging onto him tightly to prevent the Ranger's boots from slipping on the wooden floors. It had been Elladan's bright idea to make holes in the soles of the boots and fill them with more of Pippin's concoction so that if the first coat was wiped off then it would still continue to trickle out through the holes, coating the undersides of the boots once more for a recurring prank. Elrond headed for his study. "We can get them off in there – I have some solvent." Aragorn nodded.
"Hannon le." .:I will make them pay! Revenge will be sweet:.
"What are you grinning about, Estel?"
"Oh, nothing, ada."
oXo
"Well, that went well, except that YOU GUYS managed to get yourselves caught!" Elrohir harrumphed as they made their way up to Merry's room. Merry folded his arms crossly. "It's just that no-one ever suspects you, or you would have been caught too! Anyway, we're not caught yet – he can't prove anything!"
"Yeah," Elladan shrugged nonchalantly, "but he doesn't need to. He'll seek revenge anyway. I've known him since he was a kid, and he can be very malicious."
"Uh oh." Pippin sighed as they entered the room, "Seems like we've picked ourselves a tough one – one that's gonna fight back!"
oXo
Meanwhile, Aragorn stomped out into the East Garden, barefoot, a look of grim determination upon his features… Revenge would be sweet! He would teach those pranking hobbits a lesson!
TBC
