Chapter 2: Civilization! ... of Yinglets


The hills eventually flattened out, revealing a sprawling field of yellow grass, with the occasional dirt path that ran through them. Insect life buzzed loudly around me, yet became quiet whenever I neared a source that added to the cacophony. My walk towards the sun revealed that it rose higher into the sky, which told me that I was going east. The sky had no clouds, and I could feel the air warming up quickly. This told me that the region might be experiencing either summer or fall. Kind of hard for me to tell which, since I had no idea what day, month, or year it was. All I had was the ball of hot gasses to guide my way to the east. In the distance, far towards the east, I saw mountains reaching for the sky.

How far do I need to travel to reach civilization?

My feet-hands plopped along the ground, catching me every time I take a step or trip on some stick or rock I didn't avoid in time. I tripped a few times during the start of my journey, but I quickly adapted, thankfully. As it turns out, walking as a human was a much easier method of traveling. Just take a step and let the other leg perform the same pattern, then repeat steps 1-2 ad infinitum. The thing about yinglet legs is that it's about the same. Except that I'm now essentially walking with stilt limbs. And holy fek, I'm actually a lot clumsier as a yinglet! If I were to express the difference between what I was before my transformation to after it, it'd be like comparing a cautious bull inside of a china shop to a bulldozer on ridiculously long legs inside of a house of cards. One wrong step and the cards on the floor will give out, often resulting in me falling onto the ground. At least I have a tail thing to help keep me balanced.

And if it wasn't already apparent, I'm already sick and tired of being a yinglet after only a few minutes of walking around like one. Can't even stand up straight without my own tail pulling me down, and if I'm not careful, making me fall backwards. Not only do I have to walk forward on stilt legs, I have to arch my back a little when I walk. I have to mind my tail, the steps I take, my posture, and where I'm going, and my breaths feel shorter, and my mind is racing around with what feels like caffeine and paranoia, and-

-I smell something.

I instinctively followed the scent.

The air felt a little cooler, like there was moisture in the air.

I chanced upon a pond. It was small, and had some bugs taking sips from the edges of the water.

My nose compelled me to look for this tantalizing scent that drew me here.

I stopped completely when my brain finally registered what my nose brought me to. Honestly, if I had not developed any patience or restraint in my past life, I probably would have went ahead with whatever my yinglet instincts wanted me to do. And just what did my newfound yinglet instincts wanted me to do?

My yinglet instincts wanted me to eat a slug.

It was a small wiggly red thing that seemed like it was cleaved in quarters, and it sat next to six round shiny stones. In all honesty, I was... kinda tempted to stuff the things into my mouth. I was slowly reaching a hand to the quartered slug before I stopped myself. I sighed. "No, Roy. No. You got shit to do."

I turned away from the morsels and began jogging toward the east once more. I use a bit of my willpower to ignore the scent of slugs as I pressed on. I wasn't really sure why, but I felt that I'll be able to relax more once I finally find civilization.

Did I mention a chapter ago that yinglets preferred to eat molluscs? Well, as it turns out, there is a reason why. Simply put, the yinglet species evolved to receive a positive electric response in their brains anytime they consume slugs, snails, clams, scallops, oysters, barnacles, mussels, limpets, octopus, squid, nautilus, and any kind of creature that has slimy invertebrate meat that belongs to the mollusca phylum. Despite this knowledge, I didn't know if eating that raw mollusc meat would be harmful to my health for two reasons. One reason was that I didn't know if it was toxic. The other reason was that I felt vulnerable being out in the open, and it's a pretty big one. I can't explain why, but I felt as though I'm exposed. It's... hard to explain. Have you ever felt what it's like being under a roof? Multiply the number of roofs by, like, negative five. That's what I'm kind of feeling like right now.

Anyway! Time I get right back to walking east. Screw all the snacks along the way. No more distractions.

The yellow grasses I passed through waved as the wind blew through them, making them almost look like waves in the ocean. Birds I never saw before darted into the grasses, which were probably snapping at the bugs hiding in the grass. Looking at the birds, I could tell that they had vibrant colors patterning their feathers. They had a light mottling of brown spots, with white feathers dominating their pimary and secondary feathers. A long feather adorned the tip of their heads, which trailed behind them as they flew through the grass fields. They were quite pretty to look at. ... ... ... But uh... I was unable to recognize what species they were. Perhaps it was the extra pair of wings that grew out of the middle of their bodies, or that they had talons on both sets of wings, or that they had four sets of eyes, or that their beaks seemed to open up in four parts? My knowledge of the animals from Earth might not be entirely encyclopedic, but I knew for sure that those birds, or whatever they were, were NOT birds from Earth.

Ergo, I was not in Kansas anymore.

Or Planet Earth, for that matter.

Whatever they were, I stood clear of them and quickly continued east. The amount of roofs I feel over my head, as of now, has been multiplied by negative fifteen.

Thankfully, fear was a good motivator. With fear pushing me forward, it would mean that I would spend more energy traveling east, and spend less time in the outdoors. I thought I heard their bird calls following right behind me, so I decided to increase my pace even more. I nearly tripped a few times, but I was getting the hang of catching myself from tripping as I ranged between my jogging and running speed.

A few more minutes passed and I begin to see something in the distance, which was at the base of the mountain where some jagged rocks poked out of the ground.

Cooking smoke rising out from structures? Some kind of farmlands? Movement going between and into the buildings? Seems like civilization to me!

I walked toward the settlement, only to finally stop and catch my breath to...

...

...

... discover that the inhabitants were all yinglets.

...

...

... Okay, uh... I don't know what to do here. Should I uh... Should I just go up to one of them and ask what's happening? Are these yinglets from the OOPs webcomic? Or was I in the webcomic? Bluh. I think my head is starting to hurt a little. Then again, the wizard did tell me to go east to find civilization. But now that I'm here, there's all these yinglets that seem to be bustling on with their lives and I have no damn clue how to talk to them. I watched them for, like, a minute, watching them like some confused goof that had no clue on what to do next.

I patted the sides of my face. "Okay okay okay. Uh... Deep breahhs. ... Ahem. 'Breazhs'. Deep breazhs. Hoo." I wasn't very prepared for what was going to happen next. But alas, I needed to start somewhere. I raised my best foot forward and began my first tentative step to making friends with a bunch of yinglets.

"HALT!" A high pitched, gravely voice broke my concentration.

I froze in my tracks.

"Raise your hands up! Do it slow!"

I gradually did what the voice asked. "Uh... Hello?"

"No talking yet! Now turn around so we can take a look at ya."

I cautiously turned around to look at the source of the voice that spoke to me. What I found surprised me. ... And at the same time, I was underwhelmed by what found me.

Three yinglets were pointing their spears right toward my neck.

One of them had dark gray fur that wore a scarf over his snout. He had cloth wraps over the paw pads on his hands and feet-hands, wore a small and stylish black cloak that seemed intricate in its design, and had a spear that had feathers tied to the back-end of its shaft. Was the butt-end of a spear called a sauroter something? Anyway, it was probably used to stabilize the spear when he threw it. He had white eyes, and he looked at me like I was some kind of two-faced thief attempting to trespass into his home.

There was a second yinglet behind him. He had a light and dark brown fur coloration, where his belly and chin was like a mottled cream-colored chocolate, had green eyes, and his hair on his head was a darker brown which swept forward and to the side. The only garment he seemed to be wearing was a piece of chest armor, which was just a strap that looped around his chest which had what looked like some abnormally large insect carapace. He stared at me with dumb excitement.

The third yinglet stood behind both of the two yinglets, and he held himself confidently. He seemed somewhat haggard in appearance, which could mean he is an elder. His fur coloration was a faded creamy tan, with black dots splattering randomly over his body. The black fur spots almost formed a mask on his face, circling eyes of blue. His armor was made from leather plates and leather straps, and his head was protected by a leather helm that was decorated with two strings of blue beads that hanged just under his jaw. Unlike the two other yinglets, this one stared at me with piqued curiosity. It was like he saw a new kind of puzzle-box and he wanted to solve it.

"What's your name?" The dark gray furred yinglet barked at me.

"Roy." I replied. "Uh... Nice to meet you?"

"I'll be zhe judge of zhat. Did you come from an enclave? If you did, zhen from which one?" He barked again.

I shook my head and tried to explain. "I didn't come from an enclave! A wizard brought me to zhe middle of nowhere and told me to go east! So I headed east and came here." ... Wait, did I blurt out that a wizard brought me here?! Shit! They're not gonna believe that!

The elderly yinglet chuckled to himself while the dark furred yinglet hissed. "A wizard? Please. If wizards exist, zhen I'll eat my scarf. Tell me zhe truzh or I'll poke holes in your neck."

Okay, this is getting me nowhere. "But I am telling zhe truzh! Listen! A wizard said zhat a meteor fell on me and... uh... well it's hard to believe, I'll admit, but he did say to head towards zhe sun so I could find civilisation!"

The elderly yinglet walked up to the dark furred yinglet and patted his shoulder. "Zhat's enough, Flick. His story is true."

The dark furred yinglet, apparently named Flick, turned to the elder in surprise. "Patriarch Grabba'lot, you don't seriously believe in zhis yinglet's testimony?"

The patriarch nodded once. "I do. I was zhere when zhat wizard brought him here. I was hiding in zhe grass when zhey talked and I believe every word zhey said."

... Oh wow! How convenient!

The brown furred yinglet cocked his head at his compatriots. "So wat are we doing wiz zeh new guy? Is he a goin' to Zagoon?"

Grabba'lot chuckled. "Silly Oggie. All yinglets who are of age, or are newcomers to our enclave, MUST be evaluated."

Flick sighed as he withdrew his spear. "Not sure how Zagoon would take to zhis 'wizard' business."

"Wait a minute." I interjected. "Mr. Grabba'lot, was it? I want to say zhank you, first of all."

The elderly yinglet walked up to me and nodded. "No need for zhanks, Roy. Considering zhe story zhat wizard told you, I was a little... hesitant to believe it, him, or you at first. It's quite an incredible tale."

I blinked a few times. "Oh. So you overheard our conversation?"

Grabba'lot nodded. "I did indeed! Once zhe wizard told you where to go, zhat was when I decided to follow you. I found Flick and Oggie hunting for some grass skippers along zhe way, so I had zhem tag along wizh me. Lost sight of you for a bit, but I continued tracking you and found you here. Right on zhe border of zhis enclave, of all places!"

I nodded at Grabba'lot happily. "Okay! Well! Great! ... So uh... What do we do now?"

Grabba'lot patted my shoulder and gestured for me to follow him. "Zagoon is gonna want to take a look at you. Follow me and I'll take you to his hut." He paused before he added something else. "Oh. And before I forget to mention, don't reveal who you were before you woke up next to zhat wizard. Okay?"

I blinked as I tailed behind him. "Why?"

Grabba'lot sighed as he explained. "Oh, for simple reasons. If you tried to explain to zhe yinglets around here who you were before zhe wizard brought you here, zhey might zhink you are dumb and crazy in zhe head." He then began to make a low whisper so that only I could hear him. "Some yinglets living here also detests humans, so don't let zhem suspect you were one."

... Oh wow. How inconvenient.

If there were human-hating yinglets living in this enclave, and if they found out I used to be a human, then they could bully me out of spite! Or something. But on the other hand, so long as the yinglets in this enclave never find out I used to be human, then there would be no problems. Hopefully. I guess that just means I'll have to make up an alibi on why I know so much about humans and their culture.

Patriarch Grabba'lot led me towards the enclave that awaited ahead of us. I could hear the pitter-patter of steps behind myself, and I can assume that Flick and Oggie were tailing behind. Oggie seemed like a pretty dumb yinglet, but Flick was more intelligent. Between the three yinglets, or four if you included me for the reason that I too am now a yinglet, Flick and Grabba'lot were of two most dangerous yinglets I had ever known. Flick was dangerous because... well... I don't really know why. I guess he just doesn't like me because of my yellow fur, or something. But Grabba'lot was more dangerous because he knew I used to be human. I really hoped that his lexicon didn't include the word 'blackmail'.

During our travels, we passed by several shacks made of sticks and hovels made of grass. Poorly woven baskets filled with rocks, sticks, and even more grass seemed to pile around these shacks and hovels. I can only guess that they were used as building materials or as kindling for their fires. There was the occasional yinglet that came close to us, but they would turn around and head the other way. I don't really know the reason why that was, but it could mean Patriarch Grabba'lot commanded a lot of respect from the other yinglets.

... And it just occurred to me that Grabba'lot's name is just the words 'grab a lot' fused together. How did I not notice the wordplay sooner?

A few things to know about these weird little yinglets and how their government works. One thing to know is that they're scavengers. An assuredly groundbreaking fact that might make even the weariest eyeballs roll. The other thing to know is that their leadership system is commanded by only the most able-bodied, the most skilled, and the most experienced of yinglets. Basically, they are scavengers whose leaders who lead by merit, which often appoint themselves the titles patriarchs and matriarchs. A third thing to mention is that the gender ratio of yinglets is more or less 1:6. Meaning that, for every female yinglet that exists, there is usually five or seven more male yinglets in every yinglet population. Oh, and there is one more thing I almost forgot to mention, though it probably doesn't even need to be mentioned in the first place. Most yinglets are DUMB. Like, say, if there was an intelligence competition between a dumb yinglet and a box of rocks, they would somehow end up tying. I don't know how they didn't completely die out, though I can only assume that their heightened evolutionary Darwinism might somehow contribute into their survival.

Oh, and they lay eggs.

It's almost like they are a hybrid of rat and bird. Hence why the nicknames for their species usually include words like: Ratbirds, stilt-weasels, clam-biters, obnoxious-screeching-things, and, most commonly, scavs.

As I have said, they are weird, little, and are yinglets. Aren't they fascinating creatures? Well, I don't really think so right now, since I mostly stumbled around as one.

It wasn't long until we found ourselves in a tented enclosure. Well, I say 'tented enclosure' but it's just a bunch of cloth hanging over us that's been glued into or had ropes tied and fastened onto a valley of tall rocks. It's a cost-efficient method of making one's enclave, compared to gathering a bunch of sticks and building the... well... building. The tent foyer seemed to be bustling with many yinglets that had business inside this place. They too gave a wide birth to me and our party.

"Who iz za new guy?" "Iunno." "He very yellow." "I know! He looks like he rolled in flowers or somezhin'." "Look who's he wizh!" "No shout! You gets us in zhe trouble!" "Did he do a bad?" "Who is he?" "Iunno. I zhink he's a new guy." "I saw zat doofy guy on zhe hill earlier. I zhink he came from... uh... west! Yes, he came from west!" "Oh, so he is be a new guy!" "Does he smell like flowers?"

Um...

Yeah...

Dumb as a box of rocks.

We eventually enter an area that looked like a foyer, which seemed to be designated for very important people. Perhaps the patriarchs and matriarch that manage this enclave live here? I can only see one yinglet in this space, which was busy with sharpening some weapons on a knife and spear rack. His focus was broken when Grabba'lot called to him. "We got a new guy for you!"

The lone yinglet paused before sighing and placing the weapon back on the rack. Once he came into view, I was able to see his features. He had earthy red hair on his head, and a tuft of it on his chin too. His eyes were yellow, and his fur was a deep caramel. His attire was similar to Grabba'lot's leather armor, except this yinglet had thin pieces of metal fitted into his armor. He looked at me up and down with a scowl.

I think I gulped.

He sneered. "I don't like zhis one. Where'd you pick him up?"

"I spotted him traveling towards our enclave." Grabba'lot explained. "I tracked him as he made his way here, you see. He was abandoned by a strange man who claims zhat he is a wizard. He told Roy here zhat he could find civilization by heading east, so he traveled eastward and found our enclave. He's a VERY lucky yinglet."

The gruff yinglet shook his head. "I don't need luck when it comes to hunting game or fighting predators and enemies, Grabby. Zhat's a scavenger trait. A scavenger needs luck to survive." He then gave Grabba'lot a stern stare. "Also. Wizards? Sounds to me like you're finally getting dementia in your old age."

Grabba'lot shook a finger at the gruff yinglet. "But he went right zhrough a baxxid trap. Rockscar was very confused when he didn't take up zhe bait, which can only mean zhat Roy has lots and lots of willpower."

Wait. Baxxid? I went past a baxxid trap? I turned to stare at Grabba'lot with surprise.

The gruff yinglet tilted his head as he looked at me again, this time with a smidgen of interest. "... Hmm. If what he says is true, zhen maybe you're not a sap. Most yinglets would have taken zhe bait, but not you."

If I remembered correctly, baxxid were another inhabitant of the OOPs webcomic setting. They were giant snake-like sentient race that had bony growths along their claws and head, with six eyes that help them detect prey. ... Now that I remembered that baxxid have six eyes, it made me remember the six shiny stones I found. Were those its eyes? I shook my head and attempted to get an answer. "Well uh, since you've brought zhat up, what would have happened if I did take zhe bait?"

Without pausing, the gruff yinglet answered. "Rockscar would have eaten you."

"... HWAT?" I replied aloud.

Grabba'lot nodded with a huff. "Yeah, it's a sad arrangement. Any yinglets too dumb to survive would be selected for culling. Also, any yinglets traveling zhat far outside of our enclave who are too dumb to know it was a trap would have been culled too. As I said, you were very lucky."

Oh. I didn't even know that red slug was a trap. ... Oh my word, I could have died!

The dark gray furred yinglet named Flick sighed. "Are we done here? I want to return to training your apprentice before too much of zhe day is spent."

Grabba'lot looked at Flick, paused, then nodded. "Ah! Right! Yes! Zhen it's decided! We'll leave Roy in Zagoon's capable hands while Flick and I continue wizh Oggie's training. Hopefully, and wizh any luck, Matriarch Rhondy will return from Arisota's Hold wizh some good news. Afterwards, we'll hold a council meeting to discuss Roy's... um... past."

The caramel colored yinglet chuckled pessimistically. "Rhondy is gonna chew one of your ears off one of zhese days, Grabby."

Grabba'lot turned around and began leaving. "You're in Zagoon's hands now, Roy. See you later!"

I blinked. "Wait. Who is zhe goon?"

"I'm Zagoon." The caramel furred yinglet replied in an annoyed tone.

I pointed at him. "You're zhe goon?"

"Yes." He then went to the weapon's rack and pulled two spears from it. The spears didn't have bladed tips, but instead have rounded tops that looked like they were made of leather. "But if you're planning to be part of our enclave, you're gonna have to call me eizher Patriarch Zagoon, or Sir."

I blinked a few times, then began to chuckle a little bit.

Zagoon eyed me. "What's so funny?"

"Heheh, oh uh, nozhing." I replied, stifling my chuckle. "When zhey kept mentioning 'Zagoon', I zhought zhey were talking about a goon yinglet or somezhing. 'Zhe goon'. 'Zagoon'. Zhey sound very similar, you know? See, I noticed just now zhat it was wordplay."

A bop on my face shuts me up. I didn't notice that Zagoon's sphere spear had struck my face. It felt like I was getting hit by a beanbag. "Yeah, well, jokes can't always stop whatever is trying to kill you."

"Wuh?!" I rubbed the side of my face. He handed me the other sphere spear. I hesitated for a second, but I took it from Zagoon's hands.

"If you're gonna stay in zhis enclave, you'll need to be evaluated first. And since Rhondy is away, I'm in charge of evaluating and training all new yinglets, bozh born inside of, or coming here from outside our enclave. If you don't know how to attack, defend, dodge, parry, feint, or riposte, zhen you're a dead yinglet. I don't care for scavs who are dead weight, so I'm going to find out if you're worzh zhe trouble. Now get in a fighting stance wizh zhat training spear. We're gonna spar now. You know what a spar is? It's fake fighting! Now get ready for your sparring match wizh me!" Zagoon said with a roar as he pointed his training spear at me.

... Okay, I now think that Zagoon might be the most dangerous yinglet I've ever came to know.


A/N: Fun fact: Monotremes are a classification of mammals that lay eggs!