"He is so beautiful," Sadie cooed from her spot on the sofa.
Nodding her head in silent agreement Jude continued to hold Aidan's small hand in hers. The last ten minutes he had been opening his eyes, peering up at everyone as they took turns drooling over him. Victoria had finally lost her battle when Stuart barged into the room demanding that she take turns. Aidan was passed around from person to person for the better portion of an hour before Tommy stepped in and took a father's claim.
Tommy had found Jude sitting by herself in the empty living room, taking it as the perfect opportunity to spend some time with just his wife and baby before they got down to business. His plan had failed miserably, where he went the trail of baby lovers followed. Jude had grinned up at him as he quickly sat next to her. "You can run but you can't hide." Jude had spoken into his ear once the followers took their seats on the furniture spread across the room.
Leaning down Jude lifted Aidan's hand to her lips, spreading soft kisses across his tiny fingers. An action she almost favored above all. Her little miracle, Aidan had changed her life dramatically when he was born, gone with the take on the world attitude, fast replaced with a heart that was so soft and full of only love a mother would know. Thirty-six days old, four weeks she had been caring for this innocent little baby, and now for the second time her life felt like it had real meaning.
Sadie moved beside Jude, leaning over her to admire her nephew, "I still can't get over my little sister being a mother."
"You can't get over that, try being her mother," Victoria voiced from the opposite side of the room, "And watching her with a baby."
"I know mom, you're still trying to adjust to me not living here anymore." Jude replied as she finally tore her eyes away from Aidan.
"It does get easier as the days pass."
Nodding in agreeance Stuart said, "Plus there are perks to being a grandparent, you can give the kids back to their parents."
"I know dad, trust me you've already filled me in on all the spoiling you plan on doing."
Grinning proudly Stuart winked at his daughter. The plans he had once Aidan got to a better age would send Jude into a furry. He loved his daughters dearly but he always wanted to have a son as well, only thing was, Victoria drew the line at two kids, leaving Stuart with daughters. Periods, boys and shopping were not on his favorite list of topics. Having another male would have been great, now that he had a grandson he couldn't wait for Aidan to grow up.
A knowing look passed over Tommy's face as he quietly studied his father-in-law. He knew what thoughts were circulating through Stuarts mind, thoughts that he to had had once he found out Jude was having a boy. He always wanted a brother growing up, instead he had sisters. The plans he to had made were slowly fading away, Aidan was only a month old, he would barely be over a year old when Tommy would no longer be around. Playing ball, teaching him to drive, the finer points of being male, driving Jude crazy, all those immature yet moments he knew would be his favorite, they all flew out the window once he realized he would never get the chance to see his son grow up. His heart slipped another inch lower as he realized with sudden pain, Stuart would be able to live out his dreams, yet he would not, he would have to pass his son over to the other males in Aidan's life, he would have to go knowing that some other man would step in and take over as father.
Tearing his gaze away from Jude's dad Tommy looked down into the blue eyes of his son, smiling briefly at the beauty his son was. Softly snuggled into his arms, the only place Tommy wanted him at that moment.
"I remember when Jude told me she was pregnant," Tommy began, pulling in the attention of everyone, "Never one for tradition she waited for the oddest moment before spilling the news."
"Ahh, Jude told me this story," Kat put in.
"Kat! You weren't supposed to tell anyone I told you," Smiling in embarrassment Jude shrugged when Tommy cast her a glare, "Sorry Tommy, she's my best friend."
"Anyway," Tommy began, "She had been acting off all day, causing my suspicions to kick into full gear, I knew she was a little nervous about the concert, but never did she fidget the way she had been."
"I was nervous about that concert by the way, it was the first one back in Toronto that I had done since being away on tour."
"I know," Smiling over his shoulder Tommy brushed a quick kiss against Jude's cheek, " I asked Speed and Jamie if they knew what was up, each one said no so I figured it must be me over reacting. I do have a tendency to do that."
"Tendency? Yeah right buddy try full blown," Sadie sarcastically spoke from next to Jude.
"Yeah, yeah, now hush so I can finish my story."
Grinning Sadie motioned for Tommy to continue.
"Two hours I looked for her, I walked all over that venue but Jude was no where to be seen. For a while I started thinking that she flaked out and took off… then I happened upon her dressing room…low and behold Jude had been in the bathroom the entire time."
Quirking her eyebrow, "Uh Tommy I was not in there the entire time, most of it but not the whole time," Jude spoke, feeling the need to correct him in his story telling.
"What does a guy have to do to finish a story around here?"
"I would suggest a muzzle," Jamie offered, only to flinch at the glares from all the women in the room, "Okay maybe not."
"Damn right Andrews," Kat reiterated as she smacked his arm, "You never learn do you?"
"Don't even answer that one Jamie," Stuart cautioned.
"I'll pick up the story before my husbands ears start to smoke," Laughing softly Jude kissed Tommy before letting her head rest on his shoulder, "I had been using the bathroom a lot that day, when they say pregnant women pee a lot, well they were right. The hour before my show I just decided that instead of leaving and having to rush back I would stay on the toilet," Shrugging at the odd stares she was getting, "Long story short that is where Tommy found me. He came in, started pounding on the door demanding I come out so we could finalize last minute details. You know me I pitched a fit and yelled at him through the door."
"I believe her words were along the lines of, 'Can't a pregnant woman pee in peace? Typical male coming in here demanding the little lady be at his beck-and-call. I'll come out when I am good and ready, until then you can either rejoice in the news of finding out you are going to be a father, or you can leave and shut the door on your way out.'"
Tilting her head upwards Jude met Tommy's eyes, his were full of memories. She knew hers reflected the same, deep down the pain was evident in both of them. Their memories were now laced with fear of the future, pain that was soon to come, agony that already began to take place. Her eyes shut against the sudden sting that pricked the inside, tempting tears to form; blinking away the sudden wave Jude reached out and placed her hand into Tommy's before nodding for him to finish what he was saying.
Clearing away the lump in his throat Tommy picked up from where he left off, "My first reaction was shock, I must have stood there for five minutes before the news fully registered in my brain. Then the elation took over, me a father? I never would have guessed, but hearing Jude say those words made me the happiest man out there.
I asked her to come out of the bathroom, she didn't. Stubborn like you wouldn't know, she made me wait a half hour before I heard the door unlock."
"You never told us this Jude," Sadie said in awe, "This is so cool, I never would have thought you told him while you were using the restroom."
"I never meant to let it slip, I did have something more romantic planned, but I guess this way is better. It rings truer to who me and Tom are."
"He loves it too Jude. Tommy tells me all the time how he wouldn't change anything for the world," Kwest offered with a smile.
"I hate to sound rude, but why is it you two asked everyone to gather here today?" Victoria questioned.
"Well," Jude began, "We came here to talk, like we are now… some things are better said when you have a great introduction."
"I wanted to tell you guys something, but like Jude said I'm feeling the memories flood back and I can't help but share."
"What kind of something?" Stuart asked.
Gasping on a breath Jude shot Tommy a panicked look. This is what she was not prepared for, she couldn't do it, the pain she knew that would flood their faces was too much to bare. Tommy squeezed her hand in reassurance before looking down at Aidan. The baby was staring up at him, his blue eyes mirrored Tommy's causing another pang to stir within his soul.
"Every time I look at him it's like I'm seeing him for the first time again. That feeling of soaring above will never leave me," Sighing Tommy continued as his eyes never left Aidan's, "Right after he was born when the nurse handed him to Jude, the first thing he did was cry. Jude was crying with him, so emotional, so beautiful. The first time she looked up at me with Aidan in her arms, I felt my heart burst with love. How can you love someone so much you just met? I asked myself over and over but I never got the answer to it.
How can you love someone more than you never thought could be possible? Jude looked so beautiful---her hair was tied up, sweaty and plastered to her head, she was totally exhausted but the moment she looked up at me I knew my life was set. For once I made the best damn decision. For once I felt like the man I always wanted to be, my wife and my son were and still are the most precious gifts.
This past month has been an exciting turn in our lives, learning to be parents is something no one can ever prepare themselves for. All the books Jude read, and the one she made me read with her, they never can express fully what being a parent is like. The missed sleep, two o'clock feedings, diaper changing, first bath--- all of it is overwhelming."
"Tommy and diapers don't really fit in the same sentence, he passes that lovely job over to me," Trying but failing to hide the tears that escaped Jude snuggled closer into Tommy's warmth.
"Tom Quincy will never change dirty diapers, but he will gladly do all the other parenting tasks," Grinning to cover the pain that tightened his chest Tommy took his time gazing at everyone in the room, everyone he grew to love like family. All these people he knew he could gladly leave his wife and son with. When he passed he knew that Jude and Aidan would be loved and taken care of, a knowledge that brought relief and heartbreaking disappointment.
"I have all these plans, places I want to go, things I want to accomplish, but the biggest plans are the ones I set for Aidan. Watching him walk for the first time, hearing his first words, teaching him to play sports, showing him how to play an instrument…crying with Jude his first day of kindergarten, hiding money under his pillow when he loses his first tooth," Shaking his head Tommy's eyes blurred over with unshed tears, "Celebrating his birthday's, staying up until midnight Christmas eve putting together bikes, eating all the cookies off the plate, stuffing his stocking. I-I think about all those milestones especially when Aidan grows up, teaching him to drive, giving the man to man talks about understanding women, watching him graduate high school, feeling the loss when he decides to move out, holding Jude's hand when he marries, rejoicing and yet cringing when we become grandparents.
A fathers role, a fathers life, one I wish I could have."
"Tommy?" Jude turned her head to face her husband, he nodded his head without looking at her. Giving her the silent go ahead, knowing this was the time they had to break the news, this was the time that all of their lives were going to change forever.
"All of you guys accepted me into this family, as a best friend, you have made me feel more welcome than I ever felt. My own family turned their backs on me when I was young, yet you guys took me in and showed me what real love is. I wanted to first of all thank you from the bottom of my heart, without you I would still be out there trying to live a dream that was never a dream to begin with."
"You know you're like a son Tommy," Victoria spoke with such sincere softness Tommy felt like weeping.
"I know," Clearing his throat once again Tommy pushed past the lump that continued to grow, "Second of all I wanted to personally ask that all the plans I had and have for Aidan are lived out, even though I know my role will no longer be there, I ask that you guys step in and shower my son with even more love. Kwest, Jamie, and especially you Stuart, he'll need the role of a man and each one of you I trust completely to take over."
"W-what is going on?" Sadie questioned in a tone full of worry.
Jude turned to face her sister, meeting her gaze with hollow eyes, "You all know that the last couple weeks Tommy has been fighting off what we thought was the flu."
"Yes," Kat wearily spoke up, "But?"
"He was evaluated and the doctors ran some tests," Covering her mouth with her free hand Jude chocked down a sob that was edging to cry forth.
"It was not the flu, my brain tumor is back, as well are some tumors along my spinal column."
"Oh my God," Victoria cried into the room, "What happens now? What are they going to do this time?"
"They are putting me on medications to try and stop the spots they see forming on my spine, and hopefully to reduce the brain tumor from growing in size, other than that they say I'm too far progressed to go into remission."
Jude flinched when she felt Sadie shudder next to her, her sisters reaction bit into her harder than she imagined. Chancing to look around the room she felt sorrow over fill from her heart as she watched her mom and Kat take in the words and slowly one by one the tears began to fall. Jamie wrapped his arm around Kat as he too felt the bitter sting. Stuart sat in shock as his eyes laid upon his daughter and son-in-law, a wave of devastation flooded into him at the thought of watching a man he had come to love as a son announce he was dying. Yet the worst reaction to Jude came from Kwest, Tommy's one and only best friend. They had known each other for so long, had so many memories and stories that only the two could look back on and share a knowing smile. Jude felt her body go numb when Kwest looked over at her with fear and terror you only see in a child.
"Tommy?" Kwest was the first to speak, even though his voice was hoarse, "Man tell me your lying?"
"I wish I was."
Sadie launched herself off the couch, "No," Breaking into sobs she shook her head aggressively, "Tommy, no, you can't die! Please! You can't!".
