Disclaimer: Crap, I keep forgetting to put these on here 'I do not own Naruto'
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Little Imp
Part II: Bunnies and Pencils
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"Maa. Maa. Don't know how you're going to become a ninja…"
"Maa, don't know how okaa-chan will react to how much you spent to get the latest, autographed Icha Icha volume," she drawled, casually walking away with her hands behind her head.
Kakashi sweat dropped and stuttered, "ahh…um…matte!"
'Blackmail…blackmail!'
'That. Little. Imp.'
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Okay…so…she was smarter then he thought. He secretly admitted that, though he partly made excuses along the lines of going easy on his own four year old child with his out of practice shinobi skills….and…and….the sun was in his eyes! A fly had flown into his mouth too!
"Didn't you say 'never underestimate your opponent'? Eh? Ecchi-chan?"
'…Cheekiness…I. Hate. Her. Cheekiness….'
More snickering.
It had been a while, but after seeing numerous villains and sadistic enemy-nins displaying their best 'bloodthirsty, murderous glare of ultimate demise just before their knife/sword/other sharp metal objects/jutsu/big, heavy object(s)/creature summoning/pink bunnies/etc came at him', Kakashi could imitate it quite accurately with a few added touches of his own. No. No laughing; it was quite true. He always remembered that particular deranged lunatic that traveled with and used a horde of tiny, pink bunnies to attack with. It was not a humorous matter; those monsters had exceptionally pointy teeth and he had a nasty allergic reaction to their fur. It was for this reason that he was always paranoid of rabbits of any sort. He despised those pink bunny slippers Amaya wore constantly to spite him; she had even gotten Sora her own pair. He refused to touch the pair she had bought for him.
The girl couldn't help it as a shiver went through her spine while sweat dropping. She had only seen that look directed at her and okaa-chan's slippers for some strange, unknown reason in which okaa-chan would only snigger at when asked why ecchi-chan hated the slippers so much. The look was directed at her once though, when on a sluggish, dull day, she used an illusion on a block of wood to make it look like a specific orange book and secured it on fishing line and hook and had held the rod over a river just to see how obsessed ecchi-chan truly was. Unfortunately, his overriding emotions cut off his usual ability to see through the genjutsu and he let slip some colorful words, in which he was severely chewed out for later, as the girl amused herself by experimenting with different fishing line lengths. Every time the man stepped forward, the line dropped closer to the water. However, she and the rodhad beensnatched away to a safe distance from the river by Kakashi, his clone on the opposite river bank had disappeared with a 'poof!' The book had also vanished with a 'poof!' leaving a block of wood in its place. The girl dangling in the air held up with a firm grip by the back of her shirt had given her best puppy dog eyes show yet.
The glare would have been more effective if it were not for the entertaining circumstances. Kakashi stood, or rather, hung upside down by his bounded feet. A net tightly clung to and gripped his body, immobilizing any movements. In the meanwhile, Sora took no care to muffle herdelighted giggles as she hung upside down to meet the man eye to eye, holding onto a rope with her feet and legs while poking him on the nose.
"Hee..hehehe, I'm waiting for an answer," she continued brightly. The trapped man only narrowed his eyes further.
"Why yes, you should never underestimate your opponent or let your guard down."
Sora: O.o;;;
She nearly lost her grip on the rope as the netted figure disappeared in a poof while the genial voice behind her continued. "It also helps not to get cocky either." Before the child had begun to turn her head, the rope was snipped above and she tumbled down to the ground. Her fall was cut short though, with her own net.
Kakashi lazily sat cross-legged on a tree branch facing the fuming girl and began in a lecturing tone. "See? Imp, you got too smug and lowered your defenses; it's your own fault you ended up like this. Also, you didn't think you could really defeat me, now did you?" He finished merrily, eye curving up. The tot sulked and sat in the net crossing her arms, thinking it was unfair that she still wasn't allowed to touch any sharp weapons.
The man looked over at the pouting child and lightly laughed. She had learned everything he and Amaya taught her at an extraordinary rate, soaking up the knowledge and developing skills rapidly. He had no doubt that in Konoha, she would have graduated the academy by now. His restrictions to weapons though, had not stopped that rogue from finding ways around it. Yes, sharpened pencils were technically not considered weaponry, but they still met their mark; Kakashi unconsciously rubbed his shoulder. It had been a mistake of his to dare her to come up with a way to use cotton balls instead of pencils as weapons just to see her fail as well as to save him some pain. In the beginning, he had not meant for the training to become serious, just some basic taijutsu and ninjutsu for fun, nothing resolute. She soon continued to surpass these expectations, demanding for more. He reluctantly gave in after three days of pencil throwing.
His reminisce broke off as a small, pink bunny wiggled its nose at him.
'What the—!'
Out of complete reflex he stood and hurled shurikens at the dreadful being. The rabbit jumped up, dodging the whizzing objects that, instead, cut open the bottom of the closed net. As the creature descended, an all too familiar 'poof!' sounded as the child landed safely on a nearby branch. Blinking for a moment, Kakashi realized the truth and scowled deeply at the now empty net.
"You also said to use things to your advantage at a useful time."
He nearly stumbled off the branch but regained his footing and swiveled around to thegirl calmly sitting beside him on the branch. She insolently retained her pink bunny ears and nose and turned and looked up.
"Riiight ecchi-chan?" Her ears tweaked while her nose wiggled. Cheeky smile met dagger-edged glare.
"Advantage, not exploiting," the low voice mumbled, eye twitching in time with the tweaks of the rabbit ears.
"Taking advantage, exploiting, what's the difference?" The bunny/girl stated, holding her hands up while shrugging her shoulders.
Smile. Nose. Wiggle. Wiggle.
Glare. Eye. Twitch. Twitch.
"There's a big difference."
"Ah so? By the way, why are you so scared of pink bunnies?"
For a moment, he did not answer but continued to glower down upon the smiling bunny/girl. He scoffed and turned his nose up. "I'm not scared of pink colored rabbits."
"Liar! Liar, liar pants on fire!" the child happily shouted, jumping up and down on all fours. Indeed, the man's pants were undeniably on fire as smoke started to curl out and erupt into flames at the bottom hems of the pants. Sora giggled with glee and clutched her stomach while falling onto her back. Meanwhile, the wide-eyed man had begun to panic and shook his leg to extinguish the flames, careful not to spread it to the nearby foliage.
"…Heeeheeeheeheehehe…"
"…Grrr…I thought I told you not to play with cotton balls!"
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He knew this day was coming. He was no fool. He prepared himself for the inevitable. Steeled himself against it. Had run through all possible explanations. And finally picked out one that seemed most believable and probable. Then, discarded that story. And discarded the next. But he had a surefire one now…that one was also scratched out later. But this time, he had a definite plan. He thought confidently to himself and mentally patted himself on the back while also rewarding himself with a cookie.
Her mouth moved as if in slow motion as he saw the words coming.
"Where do infants come from?"
"From a female's womb, as in, inside their abdomen."
"I know that, Mrs. Takanori is already 7 months with child, but how are children made?"
"Maa. Ask okaa-chan, she knows."
"I did, she told me to ask you and added that you would say something like that."
His simple, beautiful plan shattered. The carefree child swung her legs back and forth while sitting on bridge fence, her back to the village's main river while licking her ice cream cone. She looked up expectantly at the curiously sweat dropping man.
'…I'll get that woman for this…'
"Simply put, when a man and a woman love each very much and only after they get properly married, through the power of love a child magically forms inside the woman's belly." He nearly gagged while saying the last bit. '…Power of love? How clichéd can it get…' He nervously laughed in his mind and rubbed the back of his head while the child narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the man's face.
"…You're not telling the entire truth…spill it."
"Maa, maa, so you want to know eh?"
Impatient nods.
"Hmm…" Kakashi stood up and put on a solemn face then started in a majestic tone, enunciating each word while grandly gesturing with his hands. "The creation of another human being is a most sacred event overseen by all the spirits. When a woman reaches a certain age, her…chakra changes allowing her to receive a child. Then, when she and a man share mutual love and once the magic forces of marriage bind them, their chakras…mingle together. Spirits then take some of this mix and hiiigh in the sky, in the utmost planes of heaven, they create a bundle of radiant energy in which they send down to the earth at night in the form of a shooting starthat lands right in the woman's tummy." He finished the tale with a poke in the enraptured child's stomach, it also being a ticklish spot; she gave a short burst of laughter.
"…Wooooow…" The girl looked up with large, amazed eyes. Kakashi looked slightly shocked then triumphant.
'..Ha! She bought it!..Nicely done Kakashi…'
"…stop lying." She coolly stated with closed eyes, reverting back to licking her ice cream cone.
'…or..not…'
"Pffth, how do you know its not the truth?" He retorted, crossing his arms while discreetly popping his eye open and looking down to see if any smoke was coming out of his pants. Sora took her time finishing her last bit of the cone and took a deep, knowing breath.
"Because…" She gravely began, crossing her arms in similar fashion. Kakashi's eyebrow started to twitch in impatience.
"…Because…your nose grows slightly longer whenever you lie."
The man suspiciously inspected the child's face for any telltale smirk that would give it away. She opened her eyes and frowned at the unconvinced man. "Hmm…seriously, I thought you knew already…" she shrugged with one shoulder and hand and looked up blankly at the man.
'Tch…her acting skills are just as good as mine…'
It was only when said liar casually turned away and flicked some unseen object off his shoulder to inconspicuously glance at his reflection in the river that the victorious smirk appeared on the child's face.
It didn't look longer did it? No, it was just the running water that was distorting the image. Of course it didn't grow when he lied. That was preposterous. He snorted and turned back to now standing child.
"No, the water didn't distort it, your nose really does grow longer when you lie."
He huffed once more and leaned back against the bridge post.
"Maa. You're right. I did lie."
The smirk appeared again as she cast him a knowing look. "Ha! You were lying—"
"Yup, you were sent up from the deep depths of the devil's lair, imp." His eye curved as he widely grinned.
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The young child napped soundly in her bed, unaware of the two onlookers peeping in through the door.
"She's really pooped today."
"…Yup, it surprises how quickly she's improving…though…I never recalled teaching her that water jutsu…" The man quirked his eyebrow at the woman.
"…Heh, I still have some tricks up my sleeve." She winked back mischievously while tapping the side of her nose and headed downstairs. Kakashi joined her in the kitchen as she made tea.
"Speaking of tricks…what was this about telling her to ask me where babies came from?" He inquired with an underlying tone of interrogation. Amaya proceeded to smile and hum a random, happy tune while brewing the hot beverage.
"One lump or two?" she brightly asked.
"…Two lumps…of sugar." He cautiously watched the sugar cubes drop into the cup. Of course, she would think it to be funny if he got whacked in the head two times every time he forgot to specify. Getting sharp pencils thrown at him, occasionally set on fire, couple of head bumps once in a while, walking into glass cleaned…too…thoroughly, saran wrapped doorways, and his favorite one of the week–ultra invisible fishing lines wired across various places in and outside the house. He mentally sighed. Honestly, one day, the paranoia will eventually cause him to crack. Though, he had to admit that it kept his awareness skills quite acute. Occasionally, he playfully spat with Amaya on the misfortune that Sora couldn't reflect her father's more upright nature then her mother's impish character in which the mother would retort how chronic tardiness, perverted habits, and a laid back, careless attitude was upright indeed. This was countered with how a devious, impulsive, scheming, conspirer set out to turn his own child against him was just as bad, likely worse. It was then that, if there were any, the company over would smile and shake their heads while the couple bickered, pointing out how the true misfortune was that the child was a mix of all of these characteristics with her own individual traits blended in. She had started kindergarten a year early, though she was far further ahead in studies, and the teacher expected no less as the child somehow managed to arrive late everyday to class.
"Ah, haha, gomen, you see, this black cat crossed my path…"
"…you see, there was this injured sparrow along the way…"
"…and so I had to search for this four leaf clover…"
"…I got lost on the path to enlightenment…"
"…um…did I already mention the one with the cat…"
Everyone also agreed that she had definitely inherited the trademark smirk and eye twinkle from her mother that revealed she was up to no good. Interestingly, the girl also adorned a black headband over her left eye in mock imitation of her father's eye patch. Her rabid hunger of literature had originally stemmed from orange-jacketed books the father curiously blushed and giggled over and she had replaced them with other books of various genres. They were not thin, large print books of simple nursery rhymes and 'The Sky is Blue' though, but rather the opposite with titles of 'Philosophy and Theory' and other works intentioned for young adults instead of a four year old. The genius factor was recognized by those who paid close attention and looked past the little one's childish facade put up for the rest besides those close to her.
Kakashi took his tea and sat down at the table. "You still haven't answered my question…" The woman in question continued to hum absentmindedly, seemingly not to hear the question as she sat down as well, sipping her tea.
Finally she looked up in feigned innocence, "Hmm? Did you say something?"
Despite the answer, he continued, "Maa, I'm surprised you would trust me with something like that…" As if to illustrate this point he carefully started applying the weatherproof lamination book cover he had just gotten that day over the second volume of a suspiciously orange colored book, sliding his tea a very far distance from the book.
"Hmm, of course I would," she cheerfully replied. For a moment, the man looked up with a look of slight disbelief and pride that he was trusted.
"You're not that stupid." She smiled, but an eye glinted, promising danger. He fought the reflex to gulp; he learned quite well to heed that glint.
"Anyways, she saw through it," he replied, reverting back to the book at hand; concentrating as a surgeon would during a crucial operation. He paused midway, however, and then asked uncertainly, "…Does my…nose look longer?" Amaya tilted her head to the side and blinked puzzlingly. The longer she stared, the more worried the man grew. "…Well?"
"…Actually…" Having gotten up and standing next to the increasingly concerned man, her dark purple eyes peered closer and observed the man's nose. She drew back and held her chin in a somber pose. "Hmm…just as I thought…" Trailing off, the woman suddenly zipped out the door. "I'm needed at the gardens, I'll be back soon!" She happily chirped while turning so that he couldn't see her amused giggles.
"Waai—!" But the swiftly shut door met his call. Scowling, Kakashi turned and walked to stand in front of a mirror.
"Hmm…" he began, rubbing his chin, "I am not the sexiest man alive."
His nose remained unchanged.
Glaring at the mirror, as if willing his nose to grow, he focused and repeated the statement. After several minutes and still seeing no response, he grumbled and swiftly took off to snatch that woman and bring her back to demand a full explanation.
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His back was sore. Very, very sore. After two weeks, his patience and will relented. Two weeks of non-stop pencil throwing. At first, he easily caught them, moving only the slightest and never looking up, no matter the speed or number thrown, and discarded them on the floor. Then it grew tiresome. She was stubborn. He finally stopped moving altogether and allowed the pencils to poke then bounce off as he did various tasks. It was especially annoying and distracting while rereading his favorite novels. But he continued to play the ignore game and refused to give in. On the fifth day, along with pencils, uncapped markers were added in. The child had amused herself by dotting a multi colored smiley face on the back of her father's neck. Well, the target had thought, at least it didn't hurt as much as pencils. Then permanent markers came into the mix. Over time, she decided to explore new mediums with colored pencils, stickers, gel pens, marker stamps, stick on body jewelry, and spitballs. It was so that for two weeks a daily 'masterpiece of human art', as thekid liked to call it, was created at the end of the day with an extremely amused mother proudly patting her child on the head despite the death glares the 'art' gave.
On the day Kakashi cracked and had allowed the child to train with weapons, the theme Sora had decided on for that day was an Egyptian princess. The transformation was nearly complete with gold colored body jewelry decorating his face, arms, and legs to look like manacles and actual jewelry pieces. Dots of various colors and sizes created intricate tattoos encircling his exposed skin. All of his long sleeved clothing had mysteriously vanished a week prior. Amaya had innocently claimed that they all needed mending, a lot of mending. He didn't dare go and buy some more, the permanent marker ones took a lot of rubbing to reduce the patterns to a faint but visible trace. Indeed, some tattoos had adorned his face. She had even been kind enough to give him pronounced Egyptian style eyelashes, brow, and light, pink blush on his cheeks, highlighting the feminine look.
'…Ignore…just ignore…and it will stop, and I win, yes…'
He was not slightly insane. Poke. Poke. Or irritated. Poke. Poke. Or twitchy. Poke. Poke. Stick. In fact, he was at his usual, carefree, lazy, calmness.
"Just where do you get all of these pencils?" He suddenly jumped up in a very unprincess-like manner and snapped the caught pencil in his hand.
"Hmm?" Sora stopped twirling the pencil in her hand and looked up, "oh, from places…" She gave her quirky grin.
"Places?" He asked in an intimidating voice.
"Yes, places." A voice behind him stated as a colored pen met its mark on the back of his neck, completing the pattern. The bunshin in front of Kakashi disappeared in a poof while the girl behind himlaughed wickedly. In his attempt to rush off to the bathroom to pick, scrape, rub, and wash off the daily 'artwork', a bright, camera flash blinded him for a moment and he staggered backwards.
"Oh my, your royal ladyship, this humble woman would like to ask the whereabouts of her husband." Amaya deeply bowed before the uncharacteristically seething man, er, princess, while holding the camera behind her back.
"…You win…"
"Ah, Ecchi-chan did you say something?" The child popped up next to him and put her hand around her ear.
"…You win…"
And so, mother and child continued to laugh uncontrollably while the man in the bathroom grumbled at how the eyelashes just wouldn't come off.
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"The trick to aiming is following through with your wrist—" Sharp wind cut closely around the figure as solid thuds rang out. Kakashi coolly stepped forwards and turned to see the perfectly drawn figure in the tree, outlined with shurikens and kunais right down to his pointing finger. He turned back to the child lying on her stomach with her feet swinging in the air, occupied with examining a bumblebee on a dandelion.
"Pencils are harder to throw then kunais," she stated airily as she coaxed the bee on her finger.
"Hmm…you missed a spot…"
Frowning, Sora looked up to see that the supposedly perfectly drawn figure held a flaw near the arm where a shuriken was missing. Kakashi lazily held up the missing piece that he had caught, "This one, would have cut through my arm…unless…you meant to do that…" He raised his eyebrow skeptically.
The girl sat up and stared at the shuriken. '…Oops…'
Rubbing the back of her head she nervously laughed, "…Ehehe…I was just testing you…"
"…Right…"
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